Loving the celestial dress!
Debs- I have taken Ibuprofen (and am still alive!) as they made such a mess of my arm that when the steroids wore off it was bruised and lumpy. I also constructed my pillows at night so I wasn't sleeping on it by accident. The problem is that the chemo stops you healing as quickly, so you may be beautiful shades of purple for a while! I had an ankle blister the first time round that didn't heal for weeks!
Food has tasted worse this time for me. I was eating some toast yesterday, and it just felt like I had a mouthful of gritty soil. I feel hungry, and get excited by the prospect of food...and then it is so disappointing. Interestingly I ate a tin of lychees yesterday(cupboard clearing)...and they were absolutely delicious! What is going on in my mouth where some food is delicious and other food is dreadful. I am wondering if it is a texture thing? Also wondering if it is to do with smell, as that is the main component of flavour? I am also struggling with disgust a bit more this time.
Sounds like we are in a similar place...feeling a mentally and physically worn out. I certainly am feeling fed up with being on Chemo....its boring and it stops you from doing pleasurable things. I agree with Lisa- that trepidation about T is making me feel more anxious.
Won't it be the 'worst' day of the year...Blue Monday soon? Perhaps everyone feels rubbish at the moment anyway...and we are more battered than the average person.
My treatment finishes at the end of April, and I will be going back to work, but am still really flexible. The great thing is that I should have accrued about 7 weeks holiday! I feel tempted to take it immediately so I wont be given any exam marking to do (which would be very unfair on my colleagues who have been doing all my teaching). I am also worried that my brain is never going to come back!! I am guessing those with surgery planned will have a break before surgery to help their immune systems recover, and then will need a few months after. Honestly surgery is a doddle compared to Chemo! Hopefully many of you will have lumpectomies rather than mastectomies, if the chemo does its job!
Off to have a girls night at a cottage in Staffs with my sister and her friends ...exciting XXXX
Lovely photo Chris
I finish my chemo at end of Feb, but still have surgery etc
Still struggling this time round, cycle 4 (1st of Docetaxel) still have no tastebuds, and although the ulcers, throat infection and thrush are almost gone thanks to the med.. mouth still feels like the bottom of a bird cage.
I have a cold, and my nose is so dry! I’ve taken to rubbing a natural lip balm up there to help. Lol. Honestly it feels like if I wriggle it, it’ll crack inside lol, yet I still have the attractive drip.
Oh yes and I have massive bruises on my arm and my side where I hit the bath..
pretty sure I’ve bruised a couple of ribs, so very painful. But they don’t do anything for ribs so just going to take ibuprofen from tomorrow to reduce any swelling. We can have that can’t we?
So basically, I’m definitely not firing on all my cylinders this time around. Helen I think you summed it up, one thing in its own you can deal with, it’s when you get the lot all at once that it knocks you.
Hugs to everyone who needs one.
I know how you feel Lisa, def think side effects are cumulative. I am still struggling mentally 1st week and then last week when I'm feeling more normal I am dreading feeling rubbish again... i have a few extra days this time so going to try and do stuff like go to the cinema, eat out and try and enjoy it...
Yes please let us know how conference goes Helen!!
I finish Chemo side beginning of April but no idea when my surgery/radiotherapy will be.....
That's a lovely photo of you Chris, nice to put a face to the name.. your hubby looks very cool, I love Peaky Blinders.
I only lasted past 12 as had to pick my daughter up from a party..😂
Morning Ladies thought I would post a picture of me and the hubby in New Years Eve as you have all posted some lovely photos. We went to friends and had to dress in the different decades I went as the 70,s and Mike my hubby went as 20,s Peaky Blinders managed to last just after 12 to see in the year but my bed was calling after that
Belated Happy birthday KC, glad you had a nice day. We should all agree a joint post-chemo second-birthday date and celebrate again when this is over 😊
Viv, that’s brilliant that the radiologist could see shrinkage, that news really brought a massive smile to my face xx
Gorgeous picture too. What a stunning place - is it as beautiful as that all around where you live?
Debs, hope you are ok after the shower incident, that would have really shaken me too.
Chris, so glad you’ve had some good days, especially after you had such a rubbish start at the beginning xx
Really looking forward to hearing about the conference Helen.
I think I’ve felt worse mentally this round. I thought I’d be happy to reach the halfway mark and I am really, but I feel like the mental and emotional side effects are cumulative too, just as much as the physical ones. I’m hoping that getting the first paclitaxel done will help; then I’ll have an idea of what to expect from the rest of the treatment and will hopefully feel like it’s manageable. At the moment I just feel a bit exhausted by it all.
I’ve taken your advice and shaved my head! It does feel better, despite the fact that I must have missed a few bits as it’s a good mix of smooth with some prickly bits. I put a nice lot of moisturiser on after and my daughter came in and said “wow, it’s so shiny!” 😂
We definitely need to meet up after treatment. Whose chemo or other treatment is going to end last I wonder? My last chemo is March, followed by radiotherapy which I’m hoping will be April. I was surgery first, but some of you have ops yet to come too. It will be days for huge celebration when the last one of us is finished, both the chemo and the following treatments.
What a beautiful view Viv... Lucky you! I can't believe your sister also has cool glasses ❤️
Hope you are OK Debs.. I definitely get a bit wobbly.. I am guessing it is like being in your 80s!!
I have my next shot on 31st, so just after you guys. Good luck with your PICC KC.. It should be no trouble to insert.. Just the local really.
Going to be an advocate at a breast cancer conference next week... Am quite excited. I will fill you all in about the latest stuff going on
Glad to hear everyone is a bit more perky 😊. My sister is up visiting so have been out and about the last few days enjoying some cold sunny days..
Chris and KC my Chemo is now going to be on 29th and 30th so will be on same cycle as you guys now 😀.
Thought I would send you a photo of the castle in my local town... it's very cold as you can see 😂 xx
Hi Chris so pleased you are feeling better and have managed some normality you've had a tough time , I had a lovely birthday kids came over I say kids , they are 30 and 33 lol we stayed in and had takeaway , I do like the fact on their birthdays if we go out we pay and we also pay on our birthdays lol somethings gone wrong somewhere!!! However I cant complain they are lovely boys with a lovely daughter in law and fiance and I did get some lovely presents .
Debs I once slipped in the shower it's very scary and very bruisey !!! I have had a few dizzy faint feeling do's hence I'm not driving much but touch wood not fallen .
I'm also neoadjuvent so my op still to come 😫 so I'm in same worry boat I will be worried after .
Chris my chemo this time round is the 29th yours is 28th? My date changed as I'm having a PICC inserted and having chemo after so presume that's the earliest I can get in .
Hope everyone else is having an ok weekend
Love to all 💕 KC xxxx
God I feel 100% better the last few days, even went to the cinema yesterday to see Cats, was ok, but slow at first, it was just nice to get out and about.
Ah Happy belated birthday KC, I hope you did something nice and you were spoilt xx
Debs that must have been so scary for you, hope your ok
Viv I'm sure the chemo is doing its job and it has got all the pesky cells, just stay strong for your op
Helen i'm the same as you all ready had my op, but we are strong and know that what ever comes in the future we have this x
One the subject of nasal hair I'm in the same position, I do wonder where it all comes from as I can't remember my nose running that much before I started all this haha
Lisa hope your doing ok x
Sorry if iv'e missed anyone
Oh no Debs, are you Ok? That must have been scary!
I nearly fainted last cycle after my shower. Got out, got cold sweat, just made it my bed and blood pressure dropped, heart rate was about 50.
Well had finally managed to get the prune juice working !! Decided to jump in the shower, only to completely lose myself have absolutely no idea what happened one minute I’m standing washing my hair!! Next I’ve hit the side of the bath with my back/ side and pulled the shower curtain with me.
Took my breath away I can tell you xx just going to rest for now x
Know how you feel Helen, def more tired this time round and maybe feeling antsy about new drugs? I kind of wake up, feel a bit anxious for no reason for a while and then it goes away..
Think it's wierd still having the BC inside me for so long whilst having chemo but I guess then you see something happening.
My only worry having it this way round is that once they operate I will be paranoid that they may have missed a few cells which won't be zapped by chemo and am temptwd to say cut the whole thing off so no cells are left!! I guess that's what the radiotherapy will do?
Happy Birthday KC! Heres to some better future Birthdays!
Fabulous news about the shrinkage Viv...it's good to think that something biological and positive is happening ...as this treatment feels so abstract at times! We all need and deserve good things to happen!
As mine is adjuvant, I will never know whether it is actually doing anything or what was left in my system prior to chemo which is nuts! I suppose it is for peace of mind that I did my best.
I am starting to emerge from my crash, but still feel a bit turned inside out. If I just felt tired that would be OK, but I feel a bit antsy too. Anyone else feel like this? Seems to have been a bit worse this time...I tasted too much chemo freedom with my delay.
My nose has been dreadful...who knew nose hairs were useful and important!
We will definitely need to meet up after all this rubbish to celebrate our journey together ❤
Aw, that's sweet. I tell Eric stories about you guys too...💕
We should def have a meet up after all our treatment is finished, it would great to see you all face to face after going through this trauma together..
Absolutely brilliant news Viv (obviously about the monster not your UTI or drippy nose lol)
i read it, turned to Steve and said Vivs has shrunk.. his reply oh thank god for that,
i tell him how you’re all doing..
we really think of you all as friendsxx
Happy Birthday KC, I had my birthday day after Chemo and it was not the best!
I miss my nasal hair too Debs, keep getting drips aswell, really attractive 😂.
I got a UTI and gp put me straight onto antibiotics. Normally would try and clear it myself but not taking any risks...seems to have cleared up pretty quick though..🤞
I did have some good news..had my US and mammo yesterday and although the radiologist couldn't give me any measurements he did say that there was def shrinkage in my tumour...😀.
He was very happy to give me good news as it was the same one that dud my scan when I first saw the monster...Nice to know the pain has been worth it....have meeting with onc on Tuesday so may find out more then.
How is everyone else doing this week?
I miss my nasal hair. I’ll be talking or just stand up and suddenly drip drip , my nose leaves a little gift on the floor lol
its also very sore, so dry it’s painful so I don’t understand where the drip comes from lol .
Steve will be 65 in May and a week later I’ll be 60. Just hope I’m at a point in my treatment where we can get away.
No point in booking anything until I see the Breast Consultant Mr V, on 28th Feb . And even then it depends what he says.
Hi Debknits I know what you mean !!! Lol I find it therapeutic touching my bald head and strangely nice though it does get cold in bed !!! Has anyone lost nose hair ? My nose drips at odd times lol who would have thought you would miss nasal hair !!! 👃🤭
Well it's my 58th birthday today , not the best I've had I will be honest but boy in 2 years am I going to celebrate the big one with a bloody big holiday .
💕Love to all hope everyone is ok and just getting on with their stuff xx KC xx
Thank you for the shave advice KC and Helen; I’m still undecided but more persuaded that I might scalp shave now 👨🏻🦲 although I don’t think I’d trust either of my daughters to do it for me having seen the occasional state of their legs after shaving!
Hope Jake had a good birthday Viv. My daughter also loves a bit of Betty Crocker. I don’t think she knows how “real” cakes are made 😂
Glad your daughter made it safely Helen. Life is for doing and weighing up risks vs benefits and I’m sure she’ll be safe and having an amazing time. I can’t imagine ever stopping worrying about my kids though (as I’m sure our parents did/do about us), but I’d be happy to see my children so confident and independent.
I have only worn my wig once. I thought I’d wear it all the time and can’t quite work out what I have against it! Poor wig!
Sounds like we are all suffering from the cumulative effects of these weird drugs on our bodies...at least we are all mainly halfway through the marathon and just need to keep plodding along. I am definitely trying to endure a tired chemo fog by mainly lying in bed...starting to surrender feels quite positive.
Chris..constant nausea sounds awful...really hope it settles down. I also hope Debs is feeling better and the antibiotics kick in.
Picking up my free wig this morning...I actually feel more self conscious about wearing it than being bald! My PICC is leaking a bit of blood..not sure if it is a problem but I am going to get them to change it early.
My daughter is now safely in the Philippines a few hundred miles from the volcano.. sadly adult children make their own decisions! So I am 'hoping for the best' and know ' what will be will be' ...any other mantras much appreciated.
Keep it up guys ❤❤
Well I just don't know where the last 4 days have gone so so tired can,t keep my eyes open half of the time and my stomach need I say more it's like a washing machine most of the time to go with the nausea. I phoned the 24 hr help line and they changed my anti sickness tablets, but no joy i'm afraid still feel very nauseous.
Viv hot flushes through the night and I've been through the menopause, thought I had done with all of them
Debs hope you feel better soon, nothing worse than a viral infection it really floors you
Helen agree with Viv tell you daughter to stay put for the time being.
Lisa hope you pick up soon
KC it ironic hair on my head very thin, but having to shave everywhere else Been using cold cap, good job I had a lot of hair to start with, but not sure if it will last the next 3 rounds of T so might be joining you all ladies with shaving my head.
Helen think were all waiting to wake up from this nightmare, but we have to just think half way their only a few more to go. We will all get through this as we are all strong and determined
Sorry if I've missed anyone off tiredness creeping in again, can't wait until I have some energy so can get out and about
Hugs to all
Get your meet up planned, do it via pm or a WhatsApp group though to keep safe as the threads are open to the world, it’ll give you all something to look forward to, it’s exciting knowing you are all going to meet and do something really nice together. Keep 💪💪💪you are 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️Towards that bell now 😘💕💕✨✨shi xx
Sorry that so many are having low days. It's so hard to snap out if it when you feel a million things are getting you down. I was explaining it to a pal, I can do just feeling sick or just pain or just hot flushes or just toilet issues and on and on but when you have all of it together you just want to scream!
So not just me with hot flushes eh? Thinking it's either chemo or menopause exacerbated by xhemo.
I go everywhere without my hat now. My daughter said she was looking at a photo of me with hair and said I looked wierd, ha ha. Shows you how quick you get used to it. Am sorely tempted to not grow my hair back after treatment!
I have a stubble, only because I am too scared of cutting myself shaving...
Debs, I'm so sorry you got ill so soon after your T and having to deal with infections and stuff. Really hope it clears up soon.. you are allowed to moan!
Helen, tell your daughter to stay clear of Philippines for a little bit longer. More for the chaos if volcano gets worse!
It's Jake's birthday today so am going to turn into supermum mode and bake a delicious Betty Crocker cake, 😂😂.
Yesterday I tried to amuse myself by trying to speak in different accents. Having a bit of a nondescript English London accent I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to make myself sound a bit more interesting.
All I succeeded doing was driving the family mental to the point they all left me alone having tea.🤣🤣 I will persevere. Since my kids have NE Scottish accents and hubby a Glasgow one I think I can do it, with many hours spent on my own....
I do feel EC has sapped my energy alot more this time round. I am still not quite right in the head or body after day 12, having to rest after everything I do...
Yes Lisa.. Shave that head... As KC says, use a decent razor and something to lubricate. My 17 year old does it for me. My sister also bought me some wet skin moisture miracle from Sanctuary which I slap on after. It feels wonderful if smooth, and hides the patchy growth!
Feeling less grumpy today.. We just need to take it easy and know it will pass.
My daughter is waiting to see if she can fly from China to the Philippines because of the volcano... Amazing how stress can reach you from the other side of the world... As I have chemo brain I don't know whether to encourage her to still go or not... Arghh!
Sorry to hear it's your low time Lisa I guess the only chink of light is it does pass and yeahhhhhh to last EC .
As for the hair like you I had spikey bits and they made my head feel sore, so I shaved my head and it feels a whole lot better and weirdly nice , hubby actually said it looked good ! I just used the razor I used for my legs a venus one with new blade and shaving foam , I went carefully but it was fine and honestly so much better with my wig and chemo caps , bits are still growing very slowly I think in patches , it's funny because I expected Ted it all to come out
💕 KC xxx
Sorry to hear about the low days from everyone who’s had some rubbish days (feels like a lot of us this week!), Even though we know they’ll pass it’s still hard to get through. My crash started yesterday and likely to continue today & tomorrow. I keep telling myself at least that’s the last EC cycle I’ll ever have 🙂
Viv, yes to hot flushes for me, worst at night. Some nights I have up to about 5 of them and wake usually boiling hot or sometimes soaked in sweat, not nice. Covers off til I cool down.
i haven’t actually been brave enough for the bald head in public yet... I still have quite a bit of thinnish stubble on top of my head which I’m weirdly self-conscious about but don’t want to do a proper shave for fear of cutting myself. Do you all have stubble too? Or nice smooth heads!?
Debs, hugs today, good luck with the breast scan 🤞🏻💕 and I hope the antibiotics have kicked in.
Helen assume scan is routine at this point in treatment to see how chemos working.
“it is what it is “seems to be my mantra
Although when people say they feel guilty moaning about feeling well I do say
We all have **bleep**, my **bleep** is my **bleep** doesn’t mean you can’t comment on yours !!
have been a right misery today feeling sorry for myself and I don’t like it xx big girl pants washed and back on tomorrow xx
Overdone it a bit today..so trying to chill instead of snapping at the family😩
I am wondering if we will ever want hair again...it has revolutionised showering for me!
Sorry you are ill Debs..hopefully you will bounce back...how has that virus crept into your home?! Why a scan,,to see if you have shrinkage 🤞
Loving KCs optimism from feeling slightly less **bleep** for one day! When my Mum had dementia and didn't know what was going on or where she was, she used to say 'let's hope for the best' .it's the only thing to do some times
I met a friend today who finished chemo 6 years ago, and she can't believe it is her when she looks at photos from that time...like a distant dream. Am hoping we will feel that way in a few years...❤❤ I still feel this isn't real ..waiting to wake up still 😴
Well done Jen
im now on antibiotics for an ear and throat infection, felt rubbish all day.
Hayho... tomorrow have an appointment for my breast scan.
Good news bloods were really good today nutrophilis were over 6! So I had treatment this afternoon, feel fine so far but early days.
Viv, I haven’t had a period for a few years, the joys of having premature ovarian failure, I have been getting a few flushes in the night.
I hope everyone feeling better today.
Another nude head person here. Mine gets really clammy.
Mind you I only wear a hat if it’s cold now, really don’t give a stuff.
Hi Viv. Horrible hot flashes here. I have had to take my hat off in public quite a few times it’s so bad. People don’t seem to care and neither do I!
had a rough week with SEs from my last cycle of FEC but have felt so much better the last couple of days. KC - I totally relate to cabin fever. I couldn’t go out for about a week so it’s been lovely this weekend to get out and about and feel a bit normal,
Jen, I hope your bloods are ok. I have clinic appointment and blood tests today in readiness for 1st cycle of Docetaxol on Friday. I too have to take steroids the day before and feel apprehensive about starting a new treatment. I also have to get photographs taken today for my plastic surgeon.
viv, I’m hot all the time. Sleep with the window open and sometimes fan on also. Before my diagnosis I put the odd flush down to hormones. Since chemo my periods have stopped but the flushes are worse. Not sure if it’s chemo or still hormonal or even both.
Hope everyone is doing ok today. One day further towards winning this battle we’re all fighting xxx
Hi Helen, chris and I are a week out tomorrow , feeling bit brighter today , yesterday was awful but that's done and gone so no use crying , I seem to say " it is what it is " a LOT and I know we have just got to get on with it but yesterday was tough.
I'm also getting cabin fever !! To the point where a trip to waitrose seems like a wonderful day out 😂
I also have trepidation re the change in treatment I'm TNBC so weekly pacliataxel and 3 weekly carboplatin and like others have the steroid thing to do the day before, cant say I'm looking forward to it but " it is what it is !!! There I go again !!!
Chin up everyone it wont last forever 💕⚘ xx KC xx
Sorry to hear you are noctural still Debs...lucky not to have to go to work otherwise it would be a nightmare! Very reassuring that, despite feeling **bleep**ter, you have got through the first T without major mishaps.
I am the same as you Jen...3 Ts left and 3 weeks radiotherapy. I have been delayed by 2 weeks, so won't start T until 31st but already have a little trepidation as change is scary! I hope your bloods are OK today, though I benefited physically from a bit of a rest, it is good to get it over with.
Viv...I am still having periods...but do have sudden hot spells esp my head. I walked through the city centre bald last week, as i had just drunk a lychee tea too quickly...no one batted an eyelid! I don't know if it is because the chemo makes my heart beat alot faster, so our bodies don't regulate the temperature well? Not sure if it is hormones or chemo? I am ER +, so am looking forward to a ramped up menopause after radiotherapy!
How is everyone else at the moment? Are KC and Chris a week out yet?
I was worried about the T just because of the warnings about anaphylactic shock but thank god it was fine xx
Silly o’clock waking, Tastebuds going, more tiredness and still bloody heartburn seem to have been my main issues other than no 💩 fairy for 5 days!
had itchy feet for a short time but that could just have easily been just my extra fluffy socks lol xx.
Keeping those cosy fingers and toes crossed for you xx
I am having 3, I’ve already had 3FEC. There is always that fear of the unknown with a new drug. I have to have 3 weeks of radiotherapy after.xx
Hello very chatty ladies...😁
So many messages to read through, so many things to remember...
Helen, you made me laugh with your 'experiences' I make my kids try all sorts with me and until now they have always grudgingly gone along with it to appease me.
The lying under the tree one really got me. Can you actually do that as an experience? Maybe we can find something we can all do after treatment.....
Lisa, the life drawing story was hilarious 😂.
Chris and KC, I cried alot on Friday, totally wiped, really had enough (felt worse than the time before) but it's been alot better today. Really. Went for a walk (well 10 mins) and cooked roast dinner. On Friday I was horizontal. My teeth still hurt, dinner tasted like chalk, still feel fuddy but def a lot better...don't feel bad about crying KC, I think it helps to get rid of some of the toxins....
Debs, so happy you and the others have given birth and sorry you are so tired. My pal who had chemo a few years ago said she was def alot more tired on the T cycle. I remember going for a walk with her a month after she finished and she struggled to walk up a hill. She was actually really nauseous wirh EC and said she preferred T. We just need to be kind to our bodies and listen when they say rest..
I still haven't checked my steroid dosage for next time....
Jen, I really hope your bloods have improved by tomorrow, will keep fingers crossed for you...
Fingers crossed that you all start feeling better tomorrow.
I’m supposed to be having my first T tomorrow, but had the phone call of doom from the Hospital on Friday, white bloods cell count low again, so have to go in first things to have bloods taken again, hopefully they will have come up enough for treatment to go ahead.