October 2017 Chemo Starters

[buddyfan]

Ha, at least my hair doesn't get in the way of the mask now.

[SueW]

What lovely pictures buddyfan x

[buddyfan]

My 'secret' spot by the river. No one can see me from this bank and only sheep the other side.

[buddyfan]

Crikey Jencat, what a traumatic situation. I don't know how any of you are managing to go back. I physically wouldn't be able to.

I've got our little music do coming up on 21st and I've realised that not all of the guests know about my cancer. I don't want to spend the whole day answering the inevitable "did they get it in time" or "are you clear now" . NO I'M NOT CLEAR, IF I WAS, BELIEVE ME, I'D BE SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. Sorry rant over, they really are the two worst questions. I think I might email everyone that I've had cancer, I've finished chemo and getting better and that I really don't want to be discussing cancer all day long!

🤣😂You alk seem to think Ipve been on holiday. The snorkelling was in our local river, at the bottom of our garden. I sit in there for hours, with damselflies, dragonflies, swallow, swifts, house martins, kingfishers, trout, swans and cygnets all oblivious to me. Absolutely love it. I was in there on the quarter final and heard the cheering from the village!

oh, did go sailing in a dinghy for disabled people. Lovely aftenoon, so I might try and make that a regular thing. Feeling a little self indulgent, sitting by and swimming in the river, sailing and embroidering at local studio. Especially when OH is slaving away building an extension to shed roofs. Mind you it is for his digger! Still, I did bring him a piece of cake back from embroidery today. AND I still haven't got a bathroom near to our bedroom!

Bit of a bummer, physio thinks body boarding might be a step too far for my back.

Right, back to trying to understand the CBD minefield. 💖💖 to all 🧜‍♀️🏄‍♀️⛵🏞🌊

[Shi]

Jencat, I totally agree with Jill, do not go back till you are ready, don’t feel obliged or any of that mullarky, you are what’s important both physically and mentally, it’s a big step going back to work after everything and to be going back into a lot more commitment is not going to help you my lovely till you are ready to get your Knick ass pants on and only you will know when you are ready. Look after you and put yourself 1st please for once you lovely lady 😘😘💕💕✨✨shi xx

[Jill1998]

Don't go back til you are ready and on your terms - once you are back they very quickly forget what you have been through and that you may still be struggling .I think you can request a referral to Occy health for support /advice - they helped me return in a way that was manageable and my employers had to respect their advice .

[Jencat]

Thank you very much Jill, Sue and Cassie for your help x

Had a long chat with my friend who I'll be job-sharing with last night and she's very supportive and understanding-I've asked my Head if I can swop a day/pm with my friend to have counselling and she can't see a problem either because she's in school 4 days a week, so it's not as if I'm even asking her to swop on her day off. Also had a cuppa with one of the TA's who had a cry on yesterday pm! Both are saying I need to put myself first and maybe I shouldn't return yet.

Occ Health haven't been mentioned, but I'll look into that Jill, thank you. I have phoned Macmillan and one of their specialist teams will be getting back to me . I'm also going to phone my union and see if they've got any info. I've got an onc app today at the hospital where I had my radiotherapy (and where I'm hoping to have my counselling) so I'm going to speak to the Macmillan workers there as well and see if they can give me any advice and info about a phased return.

Didn't sleep very well last night thinking about it all! I think the conclusion I'm beginning to feel is it's maybe best to try and get back to work in Sept, but I'll probably speak to my Chemo Onc about only returning for one day a week until I've finished my counselling, because emotionally I don't feel I'm ready just to go back. I haven't been in a classroom for over 9mths, but I'm going to be launched straight into class and a more difficult job than the one I left as I didn't have the responsibility of my own class prior to having bc. I'll only have another adult with me until lunchtime (even though I've mentioned and given my head an info leaflet about my neuropathy) and returning without possibly the counselling I feel I need-one of the reasons I want it isn't just to talk about the cancer, but feeling anxious about returning to work after such a long gap!

Got an app with Radiotherapy Onc today, feeling a bit anxious about that too! I'm becoming a wreck!

Thanks for the virtual hug Sue, it'll be lovely to have real hugs with everyone soon xx

[WhyteFawn]

Hi Jencat. I hope you're ok after your meeting at work today. Definately ask your gp for a note to specify no of hours to work etc. I was offered one but I just went straight back to work full time as I'm an all or nothing kind of girl!
X

[SueW]

Jencat my go gave me a fit to return nite on the condition it was on reduced hours your go should be able to offer you the same x

In November I am going to be doing the moving forward course run by breast cancer care if you look on main website it should tell you if there is one local tobyou that you can book on
I have only heard good things about the course

I am sending you a huge hug and will deliver a hug in real life in just a few weeks xx take care

[Jill1998]

You can get GP or Oncologist to specify on your fit note what your are able to do /timescales and any restrictions you have that they need to take into consideration .Have you not had Occy health appt - they can be quite helpful in negotiating a return and restrictions on your duties - they helped me go back very slowly to a very stressful job - they basically told my employers ( county council ) what needed to happen and they had to respect that or I could have sued if I went back and became unwell if they hadn't made reasonable adjustments .Ask for Occy health advice urgently if you haven't had it and go back in a way that is manageable .You have been through a major trauma physically and mentally and they need to support you in your return. I found it very hard going back to even with a very slow return - it's tough .

[Jencat]

Thank you Sue and Jill x

Glad work went so well for you this morning Sue x

Well had my meeting with my Head this pm! She wants me to job-share, which is a harder job than the one I left and with an age group I'm not quite so confident with and sometimes with no other adult, which I'm not too happy about, especially as I've still got some numbness in my feet. On the plus side, it's with my friend.

She was lovely, but not happy for me to have time off on a Thursday for counselling! Up to now I haven't worked on a Thurs, so didn't think it would be a problem to have counselling on that day-I can't have it at the hospital where I had chemo and it is only offered on a Thursday at the hospital where I had radiotherapy.

My Head seems to understand why I need counselling, but doesn't seem to get why I want to use a Macmillan counsellor and not just anybody. I've offered to make sure I have it on a Thurs pm and work Wed pm instead and that hopefully I'll start during the school holidays and it will probably only be for a few weeks during term. I know I need it as I had a little cry on my Head and then a work colleague.

I'm now trying to find out where I stand legally, but it seems to be a bit of a grey area. I've phoned the Macmillan helpline and somebody will be getting back to advice me. The only other thing I can think of is to contact my onc who signed me off and see if I can have phased return to work so I only work Fri's for a few weeks or continue to be signed off until the beg of Oct when my sick leave runs out. Feeling quite teary about it all, which makes me realise even more that I'm not ok emotionally. I'm fine with everyday stuff, but not handling anything stressful very well! xx

[SueW]

Jencat good luck today xx
Back to school today
just did 9.30 to 11.30 same again tomorrow then 9 til 12 next week
Interview on Thursday for head pa job xxx
Everyone was lovely and really welcoming
Never hugged so many people in such a small amount of time xx

[Jill1998]

Good luck with work Jwncat - yes hard to get the balance right between letting them know that they need to be flexible and re-assuring them you are fit to return .Yes you are covered under disability legislation and they should make " reasonable adjustments " to help you back into work and help you cope when you are there .You should tell them what is manageable for you at the moment and see what they say .

[Jencat]

Morning everyone

Feeling a bit anxious today-think it's a combination of my meeting about my return to work this afternoon and needing to make sure I get the balance of making it clear that I've still got a few limitations at the moment without coming across that I'm not fit to return. 

Plus tomorrow I'm seeing the Radiologist Onc for my follow up. I'm sure he will send me for a PET scan as I had one before radiotherapy, so I will need another one to check the little bit of cancer I had in my internal mammory chain has been zapped. I've finished treatment, but don't feel I can properly relax not knowing if everything's ok. I suppose what I'm feeling is normal post treatment?! xx

[Jencat]

Morning Ali, hope work went well yesterday and glad you're able to ease back gently. Have you been teaching a class or assisting another teacher? I expect it seemed strange to be back? I've sent you a pm x

Sue, hope today goes well for you. Good that you're able to able to go in later and leave earlier x

I'm meeting with my Head this pm to talk about next year, feel quite nervous about it! Think she wants a Thursday to be one of the days I work, but I'm on the list for counselling which will be on that day. I hadn't thought it would be a problem as prior to bc I'd asked not to work on a Thursday. It would also be good to have a day free inbetween my workdays to begin with as I've still got numbness in my toes and it gets uncomfy standing for too long at a time. Hopefully that won't be a problem, although I think I'm covered under the Disability Act? x

[Shi]

Ali❤️❤️Hope work went ok my beautiful 😘😘 don’t do too much too soon, take it steady, you too sue 👭👭👍👍👍💪💪💪for tomorrow 😘😘jencat, glad you’ve found the course useful ❤️❤️And had lovely time with your daughters 💕💕❤️💕❤️💕we’ll all have 😢😢times over all sorts of things which catch us unawares, it’s all part of the journey. Meesh and Karana hope your enjoying your holidays 🌞🌞hope everyone doing well 💕💕✨✨shi xx

[Ali49]

Good morning all. Good to see that everyone is getting on and doing ok. Buddyfan i hope your little break went well and that you get to do all the things you want to do on your hols! You are so adventurous xxx

I have just returned from a lovely break in Bilbao for my best friends wedding. What a beautiful city Bilbao is.

Anyway, I GO BACK TO WORK TODAY!!! Just doing 2 days this week, 2 days next week and 1 day the week after then its summer hols! Cheeky hey!

Good luck on Thursday Sue xx

Meesh, well done for getting through that first mammo xxx

Lots of love to all xxx

[SueW]

I went the prom on Friday and saw about 15 staff who were lovely so I now feel much better about Thursday I am going in at 9.30 and they said I can leave when I want x
Good luck for your meeting with head and your appointmentbon Friday

So glad you loved Oxford

Looking forward to meeting you ladies not long now xx

[Jencat]

Sue, I had a lovely time staying in Oxford with ED and YD. Seemed to have a bit of a pub theme to it, we went to four in two days! They were lovely, all by the river and one had been shown in Morse, which I used to love watching!

ED had a great 30th birthday (we've decided she won't be grown up until she's 35!) and I enjoyed celebrating it with her! Funny mix of people really-myself, ED and YD+ ex-husband and wife came up for the day and his wife's daughter and two little girls! It's nice that ex and I get on well enough to be able to do that!

I didn't want to come home, felt as if I was about five as I had a little cry in the car! Apart from leaving ED (it was so nice to have both my girls together) coming back means reality-a meeting with my Head on Thurs about work and an appointment with the Radiologist Onc on Fri.

How are you feeling about returning to work on Thurs? xx

[Jencat]

I feel as if I haven't got much stamina yet Shi, but I suppose it's not that long since I finished rads really. I've still got numbness in my toes and fingers, which makes walking or standing for too long uncomfy. My onc sent me a message via her secretary telling me not to worry as it can take up to another 9mths to go! xx

Great news about the safe rescue of the Thai boys and their coach What brave divers!

[Jencat]

Hi Shi, yes I went on the course and found it really useful! Covered quite a few topics such as diet and exercise (we did some yoga!) and returning to work (!) and fear and anxiety. Talked about them generally, but mentioned 1:1/ group sessions if you need more support. One of the most interesting/moving parts of the day was a talk by a lady who had bc 8 years ago-made me feel teary and one lady did burst into tears-the organisers said this often happens!

There was a group of 10 of us and only 1 was a man and he left after the talk! It had been the practical things in the morning and the emotional stuff pm and people started to open up more. I wondered if that's why he left?! xx

[Shi]

Hi reboot 👍 thanks for letting us know you are doing that and for being the 🤪🤪🤪one amongst us who’s doing it this year 👍are we all going to sign up for the one in London next year? Jencat, hope you are doing ok darling, have you done that course? Buddyfan, hows your new snorkel? Hope you’ve had lovely holiday😘😘love to everyone 💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺💃🏻💃🏻😁😁😁💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Reboot]

Good evening lovely forum ladies xxx

I don’t get chance to catch up on the forum I’m afraid, the WhatsApp group keeps me on my toes, so sorry for not being around.

Anyway, next weekend I’ll be doing the BCC Walk The Night that was suggested on here many months ago. In my crazy chemo haze, I signed up! If anyone would like to sponsor me, I can send you our JustGiving link 🙂

Thank yooooooooou xxx

I hope everyone is keeping well!

[Shi]

Hi tattyed, enjoying this 🌞🌞🌞🌞, how are you my lovely? 💕💕✨✨Shi xx

[Tattyed]

Hi Shi its me tattyed how are you my lovely

[Shi]

Meesh😘😘 well done getting first mammo done 💪💪💪meesh, did they give you 👍while you were there? Have a wonderful time in the lakes 🌞🌞🌞enjoy the rest and tranquillity ommmmmm😘jencat hope you had a fantastic day with your daughter 😘😘yes, 30 years feels like yesterday doesn’t it and the brilliant 80’s we all had 😂🤣😂🤣😂ra ra skits, sun-in by the bucket load, smartie necklaces and earrings and white stilettos 🤣😂🤣😂🤣Sue be Lou hope you are dancing your hot pants off tonight 💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻Beautiful and that all goes well. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ And 👭👭👭👭to everyone 💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Meesh73]

Sue, good to hear that sage is working for you. I seem to go in cycles with my hot flushes, so I have a few days of bad hot flushes and then a few days of hardly any. I might try keeping a record to see if there is a pattern. 

Had my first mammogram yesterday which was a bit painful 😖 but not as bad as I thought it would be. She didn't use full compression though and I got a bit 😳when she said she needed to check it with the consultant but she said it was to check the image was ok as she didn't use as much compression.

Shi, perhaps I could drop a peanut butter stack off on my way to the Lake District Monday 😂🤣😂

[SueW]

Much better now I am taking sage morning and afternoon keeps the sweats at bay a bit x

Jencat have a fabulous time in Oxford

Ladies I am so excited to meet you all xxx

[Jencat]

Thank you Shi x Myself and YD and some of our family are going to Oxford today to celebrate ED's 30th birthday! I can't be old enough to have a child that old! Lol  YD and I are going to stay with her for a couple of days, so looking forward to it How are you? xx

Buddyfan, it was nice to hear from you x Hope you're having a nice holiday xx

[Shi]

Hi sue, hope those sage tablets are working for you darling, ☹️To hear you had a hose moment because of the tamoxifen and hope it settles😘😘jencat sending you❤️❤️Hope you are doing ok, buddy fan hope you had great time trying your new snorkel 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️Meesh, if I ring that place about the peanut butter stack, so you think they’d post one out next day delivery? 😋💕💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[SueW]

Good evening all
Well yes we are certainly having amazing weather
And normally I wouldn’t moan but during the day I look like someone had turned a hose on me as I am dripping with sweat think it’s probably tamoxifen related in all honesty BUT sage seems to keep the flushes away when I take s tablet before bed tho mni will try taking one in the morning too to help during the day xxx

[Shi]

Hi buddy fan ❤️❤️Great to hear from you. The needlework at Hampton court palace must have been fantastic, what a lovely day you must have had, ladybowler likes needlework too and is very good at it. You could try a bit of body boarding and see how you feel, worth giving it a go and if it’s too much then at least you tried😘😘 a boating holiday sounds wonderful, very relaxing you’d have a great time being lady captain 👍👍👍😁😁😁and enjoy having play with your new snorkel tomorrow 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️Please don’t be a stranger and just pop on to say hi our darling buddy fan, you are one of us gold hot pant wearing Oct girls 💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻And we ❤️ You. Hi meesh, glad to hear the henna colourings gone well 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️Great news😘😘 always a bonus when hair does what you’d like it to do 👍👍hope everyone’s enjoying this glorious weather 🌞🌞🌞🌞thanks again sue for brining the weather back with you from holiday darling 🌞🌞🌞💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Meesh73]

Hey Buddyfan! Good to hear from you 💃🕺🏻💃🕺🏻So pleased you're doing ok. Enjoy your snorkelling tomorrow. I coloured my hair today fir the first time since before chemo! It turned out ok, used a henna dye and it covered the grey really well. Just need to see how long it lasts. 😊

[buddyfan]

Hi Shi and all, I’m ok thanks. I must admit I haven’t been on the forum much. I find my best way of dealing with my 💩 deal is to try and forget it. I was staying with my best friend and she asked me outright, because she needed to know, what my status and prognosis is. I had already told her about the bone mets but maybe not in the terminology of it being secondaries. I told her but that night I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. That’s the first time I haven’t slept through for ages. Generally, I’ve restarted pilates, I can garden, and stand and walk for a bit but I won't be doing any triathlons 🤣😂. My back is debilitating but the meds I take for my arm pain help it. I worry about my back and how physically stable it is. For example I know I will want to body board when I go to Cornwall but will probably be worried I might damage it. We’ve been to friends and had a day out on their narrow boat to see if I can manage the locks. Some would be ok but others not but I could helm while OH did the locks, so maybe that type of holiday beckons, lovely in this weather. I also had a day’s tuition with the Royal School of Needlework at Hampton Court Palace. The tutor had made Harry’s page boys’ trousers so she knew her stuff.
So, thanks, I’m ok . Next scan and review in August. Tomorrow I’ll be in the river, testing my new snorkel and goggles.

Oh, and I've started CBDoil . if any are interested, join the closed fbgroup CBD consumers uk/eu. They are very helpful and a wealth of knowledge.

[Shi]

Has anyone heard from Buddyfan? Getting a bit 😳we’ve not heard from you Buddyfan, ❤️❤️❤️💕💕✨✨✨Shi xx

[Shi]

Hi jencat ❤️❤️You go back when you are ready beautiful, you do what’s comfortable for you in your own time ❤️❤️Glad you liked my car advise for the may18 lady, they are getting to mid point now and needed a bit of 🤪🤪🤪🤪Shi 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺🕺💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻Got to help them keep dancing 💕💕💕✨✨✨Shi xx

[SueW]

It’s lovely to be missed x but go back when it’s right for you x

[Jencat]

Shi, I like your car advice on the May thread! x

Treatment radiologist phoned me today for a follow up appointment to see how I was getting and she seems happy with how I'm progressing. One thing I didn't expect as a SE is that my boob feels a bit heavy, like it did after my op, but she said that is normal.

Went into school today and one of the little girls came and gave me a hug cause she'd missed me, (aah!) but her head slightly knocked me-made me realise that I'm definitely not ready to go back yet! xx

[Jelly tot]

Hello everyone!

Just saw this article about the myths surrounding diet and causes , you may be interested in reading?

https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2017/jan/24/cancer-treatment-myths-clean-eating-cannabis-ho...

I can identify with those having a wobbly moment or two... I think now we are mostly feeling better physically, our emotions come to the fore...

Am so jealous of you all meeting up but am lucky enough to be meeting some of you on 14th July and will have to be patient until October.

Hope you're all managing to keep cool,  love and hugs xxxx

[Shi]

Weeeeeee 💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Won yehhhhh ❤️❤️❤️❤️Also looks like we’ve all been doing a bit of shop shopperty shop shop too 😁😁😁😁Buddyfan beautiful lady sending you ❤️❤️❤️👭👭👭we are all sending you much love and hope your away on holiday which is why we’ve not heard from you? Jencat 😘😘😘to you too, hope your 🥓🥓🥓calming down well now you’ve finish doing rads 😘😘hope everyone has had lovely weekends 💕💕✨✨✨Shi xx

[Jencat]

I also meant to say, like you Meesh, sometimes it still all seems a bit unreal! xx

[Jencat]

Thank you for your lovely post Meesh x As you say, this forum and all you lovely Oct ladies have made everything so much easier to cope with. Only 6 weeks until we meet up!

Meesh and Sue, I'm going on a day course at Guy's hospital on Friday-think it's similiar to Moving Forward-think quite a bit of it is about diet and exercise as one session is in the gym and we're doing some yoga! Don't think it will be too strenous though-hopefully not anyway! The treatment radiologist mentioned it to me when I finished radiotherapy, so I thought I'd go. Think I'll still try and go on a M F course as well if I can as this one is for all types of cancer and not specifically bc. We get a free lunch, so that's always an incentive for me to do things! xx

[SueW]

I have signed up for the movingforward course run by breast cancer care I am doing it in November it’s the first time I can do the 4 consecutive weeks x

[Meesh73]

Sue/Jencat we had a session last week about mental health and they were talking about stress and anxiety and work/life balance and how work is used by some people to deal with other life issues and how events in life can affect us mentally. I got quite emotional as I felt they were talking directly about me, had to hold back some tears😢 To avoid our whole dept seeing me 😭 I still get moments where I think 💩did that all really happen! Normally I think other people find me strange as I always talk about the positives like having my hair cut short and meeting all you amazing 💪💪💪ladies! I don't think they understand that if you don't do that the world can become such a dark place. I'm so glad that I found this thread and had the courage to post on it as you all made those months of treatment so much easier to deal with so thank you all for your ❤️ help and support! I'd like to think that we more or less 😂🤣😂our way through our treatment. ❤️ you all, you special ladies 😘😘🤗🤗

[Meesh73]

Sorry Jill no picc line for me but did exercise during chemo but only yoga so don't think I can help!

Sam, I get moments of fear since my boob swelled up and I get a bit 😜😜😳😳 I keep wondering if I'll ever wake up and not think about it. I think it's gradually getting easier if that's any help but like Shi I'm super vigilant and aware of my body.

[Jill1998]

Anyone on this thread exercised whilst having a PICC line - if so could you give some advice to this new member ?Cheers https://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Chemotherapy/PICC-line-and-exercise/m-p/1222070

[Jencat]

Hi Sue, just logged on and read your post and sending you a hug x

We've been to a family wedding today and I felt quite emotional-the wedding was over looking a lake and there were instrumentalists playing Clare de lune, it was beautiful and it made me think back to when I was having chemo and this wedding was one of the things I looked forward to and here I was, chemo and radiotherapy finished xx

[SueW]

A year ago today was when I was diagnosed so it’s my cancerversary
Had a mixed day been a little tearful but also extremely thankful for the lovely people I have met along the way x

[Shi]

Sue 😘😘😘that sounds like a perfect idea it’ll be a more relaxed evening for you doing that and you’ll be able to go home when you are ready 😘😘hi Sam great to hear from you ❤️ I think we are all dealing with our 😳😳moments in different ways, some going on courses, some reflexology, having support and wisdom from the other beautiful people on these threads, it’s hard to put it into words but we all understand and it’s only an understanding because we’ve all been on the journey too and will always be on high alert for anything, it’s just our new norm for now, my gran who’s 50 years cancer free now has told me it does get easier, so keep being 💪💪💪💪and amazing and thriving 👍👍👍😘😘😘💕💕✨✨✨Shi xx

[Sam34]

Hello lady’s not been on here for a while,

Finished active treatment 16th May and went back to work 17th May so been busy!
Hope your all well....

I was diagnosed 1st September 2017 with invasive ductal carcinoma Grade 3 Er and her2 positive 3cm tumour and spread to 1 node!

I’ve had 6 rounds of Docetaxel,carboplatin and Herceptin and pejerta! Then had Lumpectomy and full node clearance and 15 sessions of radiotherapy and 8 extra boosters finished 16th May....
Still having Herceptin till December

Not sure if this is normal but today all I’ve had is fear does it really get better as time goes on?

Thanks Sam