Thank you very much Jill, Sue and Cassie for your help x
Had a long chat with my friend who I'll be job-sharing with last night and she's very supportive and understanding-I've asked my Head if I can swop a day/pm with my friend to have counselling and she can't see a problem either because she's in school 4 days a week, so it's not as if I'm even asking her to swop on her day off. Also had a cuppa with one of the TA's who had a cry on yesterday pm! Both are saying I need to put myself first and maybe I shouldn't return yet.
Occ Health haven't been mentioned, but I'll look into that Jill, thank you. I have phoned Macmillan and one of their specialist teams will be getting back to me . I'm also going to phone my union and see if they've got any info. I've got an onc app today at the hospital where I had my radiotherapy (and where I'm hoping to have my counselling) so I'm going to speak to the Macmillan workers there as well and see if they can give me any advice and info about a phased return.
Didn't sleep very well last night thinking about it all! I think the conclusion I'm beginning to feel is it's maybe best to try and get back to work in Sept, but I'll probably speak to my Chemo Onc about only returning for one day a week until I've finished my counselling, because emotionally I don't feel I'm ready just to go back. I haven't been in a classroom for over 9mths, but I'm going to be launched straight into class and a more difficult job than the one I left as I didn't have the responsibility of my own class prior to having bc. I'll only have another adult with me until lunchtime (even though I've mentioned and given my head an info leaflet about my neuropathy) and returning without possibly the counselling I feel I need-one of the reasons I want it isn't just to talk about the cancer, but feeling anxious about returning to work after such a long gap!
Got an app with Radiotherapy Onc today, feeling a bit anxious about that too! I'm becoming a wreck!
Thanks for the virtual hug Sue, it'll be lovely to have real hugs with everyone soon xx
Thank you Sue and Jill x
Glad work went so well for you this morning Sue x
Well had my meeting with my Head this pm! She wants me to job-share, which is a harder job than the one I left and with an age group I'm not quite so confident with and sometimes with no other adult, which I'm not too happy about, especially as I've still got some numbness in my feet. On the plus side, it's with my friend.
She was lovely, but not happy for me to have time off on a Thursday for counselling! Up to now I haven't worked on a Thurs, so didn't think it would be a problem to have counselling on that day-I can't have it at the hospital where I had chemo and it is only offered on a Thursday at the hospital where I had radiotherapy.
My Head seems to understand why I need counselling, but doesn't seem to get why I want to use a Macmillan counsellor and not just anybody. I've offered to make sure I have it on a Thurs pm and work Wed pm instead and that hopefully I'll start during the school holidays and it will probably only be for a few weeks during term. I know I need it as I had a little cry on my Head and then a work colleague.
I'm now trying to find out where I stand legally, but it seems to be a bit of a grey area. I've phoned the Macmillan helpline and somebody will be getting back to advice me. The only other thing I can think of is to contact my onc who signed me off and see if I can have phased return to work so I only work Fri's for a few weeks or continue to be signed off until the beg of Oct when my sick leave runs out. Feeling quite teary about it all, which makes me realise even more that I'm not ok emotionally. I'm fine with everyday stuff, but not handling anything stressful very well! xx
Feeling a bit anxious today-think it's a combination of my meeting about my return to work this afternoon and needing to make sure I get the balance of making it clear that I've still got a few limitations at the moment without coming across that I'm not fit to return.
Plus tomorrow I'm seeing the Radiologist Onc for my follow up. I'm sure he will send me for a PET scan as I had one before radiotherapy, so I will need another one to check the little bit of cancer I had in my internal mammory chain has been zapped. I've finished treatment, but don't feel I can properly relax not knowing if everything's ok. I suppose what I'm feeling is normal post treatment?! xx
Morning Ali, hope work went well yesterday and glad you're able to ease back gently. Have you been teaching a class or assisting another teacher? I expect it seemed strange to be back? I've sent you a pm x
Sue, hope today goes well for you. Good that you're able to able to go in later and leave earlier x
I'm meeting with my Head this pm to talk about next year, feel quite nervous about it! Think she wants a Thursday to be one of the days I work, but I'm on the list for counselling which will be on that day. I hadn't thought it would be a problem as prior to bc I'd asked not to work on a Thursday. It would also be good to have a day free inbetween my workdays to begin with as I've still got numbness in my toes and it gets uncomfy standing for too long at a time. Hopefully that won't be a problem, although I think I'm covered under the Disability Act? x
Sue, I had a lovely time staying in Oxford with ED and YD. Seemed to have a bit of a pub theme to it, we went to four in two days! They were lovely, all by the river and one had been shown in Morse, which I used to love watching!
ED had a great 30th birthday (we've decided she won't be grown up until she's 35!) and I enjoyed celebrating it with her! Funny mix of people really-myself, ED and YD+ ex-husband and wife came up for the day and his wife's daughter and two little girls! It's nice that ex and I get on well enough to be able to do that!
I didn't want to come home, felt as if I was about five as I had a little cry in the car! Apart from leaving ED (it was so nice to have both my girls together) coming back means reality-a meeting with my Head on Thurs about work and an appointment with the Radiologist Onc on Fri.
How are you feeling about returning to work on Thurs? xx
I feel as if I haven't got much stamina yet Shi, but I suppose it's not that long since I finished rads really. I've still got numbness in my toes and fingers, which makes walking or standing for too long uncomfy. My onc sent me a message via her secretary telling me not to worry as it can take up to another 9mths to go! xx
Great news about the safe rescue of the Thai boys and their coach What brave divers!
Hi Shi, yes I went on the course and found it really useful! Covered quite a few topics such as diet and exercise (we did some yoga!) and returning to work (!) and fear and anxiety. Talked about them generally, but mentioned 1:1/ group sessions if you need more support. One of the most interesting/moving parts of the day was a talk by a lady who had bc 8 years ago-made me feel teary and one lady did burst into tears-the organisers said this often happens!
There was a group of 10 of us and only 1 was a man and he left after the talk! It had been the practical things in the morning and the emotional stuff pm and people started to open up more. I wondered if that's why he left?! xx
Sue, good to hear that sage is working for you. I seem to go in cycles with my hot flushes, so I have a few days of bad hot flushes and then a few days of hardly any. I might try keeping a record to see if there is a pattern.
Had my first mammogram yesterday which was a bit painful 😖 but not as bad as I thought it would be. She didn't use full compression though and I got a bit 😳when she said she needed to check it with the consultant but she said it was to check the image was ok as she didn't use as much compression.
Shi, perhaps I could drop a peanut butter stack off on my way to the Lake District Monday 😂🤣😂
Thank you Shi x Myself and YD and some of our family are going to Oxford today to celebrate ED's 30th birthday! I can't be old enough to have a child that old! Lol YD and I are going to stay with her for a couple of days, so looking forward to it How are you? xx
Buddyfan, it was nice to hear from you x Hope you're having a nice holiday xx
Hey Buddyfan! Good to hear from you 💃🕺🏻💃🕺🏻So pleased you're doing ok. Enjoy your snorkelling tomorrow. I coloured my hair today fir the first time since before chemo! It turned out ok, used a henna dye and it covered the grey really well. Just need to see how long it lasts. 😊
Shi, I like your car advice on the May thread! x
Treatment radiologist phoned me today for a follow up appointment to see how I was getting and she seems happy with how I'm progressing. One thing I didn't expect as a SE is that my boob feels a bit heavy, like it did after my op, but she said that is normal.
Went into school today and one of the little girls came and gave me a hug cause she'd missed me, (aah!) but her head slightly knocked me-made me realise that I'm definitely not ready to go back yet! xx
Just saw this article about the myths surrounding diet and causes , you may be interested in reading?
I can identify with those having a wobbly moment or two... I think now we are mostly feeling better physically, our emotions come to the fore...
Am so jealous of you all meeting up but am lucky enough to be meeting some of you on 14th July and will have to be patient until October.
Hope you're all managing to keep cool, love and hugs xxxx
Thank you for your lovely post Meesh x As you say, this forum and all you lovely Oct ladies have made everything so much easier to cope with. Only 6 weeks until we meet up!
Meesh and Sue, I'm going on a day course at Guy's hospital on Friday-think it's similiar to Moving Forward-think quite a bit of it is about diet and exercise as one session is in the gym and we're doing some yoga! Don't think it will be too strenous though-hopefully not anyway! The treatment radiologist mentioned it to me when I finished radiotherapy, so I thought I'd go. Think I'll still try and go on a M F course as well if I can as this one is for all types of cancer and not specifically bc. We get a free lunch, so that's always an incentive for me to do things! xx
Hi Sue, just logged on and read your post and sending you a hug x
We've been to a family wedding today and I felt quite emotional-the wedding was over looking a lake and there were instrumentalists playing Clare de lune, it was beautiful and it made me think back to when I was having chemo and this wedding was one of the things I looked forward to and here I was, chemo and radiotherapy finished xx