September 2017 Chemo Starters

[Cathysid]

Fairydust, hope you got some sleep, sounds like you had a rough night. That T does seem to make your bones ache. Have a nice soak in the bath and a short wander if you can handle it today - walking a bit does seem to help if you can manage it.

Ck - hope your tastebuds start to recover soon. I’m now Day 12 and they are improving well now. Food tastes ok now, though nowhere near normal yet!
I did manage Xmas dinner - my mum and sister and my partner all helped me cook for the masses. 22 round the table! It was a lovely day, though very loud with 7 under 10’s running round like crazy. We got through the after dinner quiz without a family argument and even managed charades later on after cheese and biscuits. I think I may have broken all the rules - I had Buck’s Fizz, prosecco and finally port with several helpings of knutsford blue cheese and Stilton! Oops. No hangover but I had promised myself that I would keep my alcohol consumption minimal from now on, after several dry months on chemo. Easier said than done in my family!

Ck - we have been through such a lot this year that it’s no wonder we do not feel our normal levels of confidence. Our bodies and appearance have changed, we have faced cancer diagnosis, been through gruelling treatment, found out who our true friends are and aren’t, and are still in the effects of chemo and hormonal changes! Life will never be the same. We will get some sense of normal back though - maybe after the intensive treatment is done.
Jow - hope you enjoyed yesterday. It’s a lot to handle so soon after chemo.

Jow and Ck, hope your coughs and colds are improving. Mrs M , hope you are ok

Off for a Boxing Day walk later and hoping for a calmer quieter day,
Cx

[MrsMeow]

Fairydust hope the codeine has worked - you described the yukky T to a t! My bone pain has been worse this time too and am also at day 6 - feels like someone is unscrewing my legs at the hips and knees and told my OH it was like someone had put a brolly up my behind then opened it - that made his eyes water!!
Am very lucky though as between paracetamol and ibuprofen I have managed to have a lovely couple of days totally revolving around food - despite having a very sore throat now I can taste everything and boy have I indulged - healthy food regime starts next week after injections finish on Sunday so am going for it now! I decided if i was going to tax my liver with painkillers I would instead tax it with beer and prosecco so have thoroughly enjoyed being naughty - next year will be on the nice list but this has been one last blowout.
CK you describe the whirlwind perfectly of what we have been through and I have what I call emotional incontinence too - especially when thinking about nearest and dearest. For the first time in 25 years I had no children in the house Christmas morning but actually it was perfect to be calmer and build up to the lunch in peace.
As others have said coping with family members and their little foibles is harder when we are trying to keep our emotions at bay - I will need to remember this today as going to my parents who are both nearly 90 - I normally take dinner for 10 to this boxing day meal but am not making it today so will have to enjoy being the guest but I feel guilty - and will need big girl pants for the thick skin needed for multigenerational get togethers!
Hope everyone is as comfortable as possible today- for me day 7 on T has dodgy temperatures so join me floating outside in nighties to keep cool if that is you too - well done on coping with a challenging Christmas time - you are all such a wonderful support on here and I hope you have a lovely restful day xx

[Fairydust 14]

However, found some codeine, hoping for the best. Might help pains to stop and sleep to start.

Oh to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream..

Sleep well if you can ladies

Fairydust x

[Fairydust 14]

This T plus injections is painful on my bones. Had such a hectic last few days, my body has finally had enough

[CK]

Merry Christmas to all our September thread ladies! I hope you've managed to get through the last few days with as least side affects possible and enjoyed your lunch! Day 6 of last T and I still cant taste much. I managed 3 Yorkshire Puddings with gravy and some Carrots and turnips and sprouts and my friends. All the meat was a waste of time and I was on ice water. I remember it was similar for last cycle but with it being Xmas I wanted to enjoy my Xmas dinner but hey, there will be plenty of time for that. At least at these friends there was just rhe 2 of them and they leave me to it so I actually fell asleep on the sofa. Best way!

I went into work last night at 4.30pm but needed to leave at 8.30pm as the aches and pains from injections and cough and cold got the better of me. Came home straight into the bath and then opened some prezzies wirh my daughter and cousin. I started to sing to the Christmas carols by rhe orchestra on TV😄 and when my daughter went for a shower I had another weep! The performance was emotional and so was I. I was thinking that never in a million years would I ever have thought that I would be recovering from chemo at Christmas and then in a way I thought I was lucky that it can be treated...but is 'lucky' the right word??
Then I went on facebook and felt worse seeing everyone enjoying themselves wirh friends and family knowing that mine is going to be a quiet one as I promised myself to rest up the next few days and turned down all invitations. I really couldnt handle socialising and making an effort to go out. My bedroom has been my office, lounge, dining room too and yes bit messy, but am I bovvered😄
This cough and sore throat has kept me awake the last 3 nights so rather tired and I love just being able to nap when I want. I cough more lying down so I'm using my V pillow a lot.
My tongue is sore when I eat and looks rough, looks like its got little slits in it, probably thrush or the effects of my sore throat.
Still 2 red dry patches on my face which I had cycle b4.
Its strange how I coped so well with 3xECs and 2xTs but how the last T has affected me more! Is it that they upped the dosage as I was doing fine or is it in my mind I just want to be chemo free so seems to be worse? After all it is only day 6!
I suppose rhe cough and cold doesnt help and didnt have one throughout all treatment until now.

Does anyone feel anxious when you prepare to go out? I notice I panic more. As if I've lost some confidence. I was always good at finding ways of solving problems and sorting stuff out but at the moment I feel a bit useless, as if my self esteem has gone rock bottom. Hopefully its the whole BC thing and it will come back.
I forget what and how much we have been through to get here. From one diagnosis to another, operations, results, appointments, treatments, emotions, stress, dealing with people, mood swings, thoughts, what the future holds! Even though Im done with chemo, theres still an op to clear margins and take out lymph nodes and 15 rads! 15 more Herceptin and 10 years of Tamoxifen! All we can do is just hope and pray rhat they will be smooth and saul through them.

Anyway, watching Victoria now between napping! My kind of programme!

Enoy the rest of Christmas Day😘😘

[chasanddave]

Merry Christmas to all you lovely ladies! 😊 xxoo

[WhyteFawn]

Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Loads of love and 🦄 hugs xx

[Fairydust 14]

I wish you a Merry Christmas

I wish you a Merry Christmas

I wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

To all my special friends, thanks so much for your unwavering support, sparkling wit and glittering humour.

You're the best.

Fairydust x

[jow]

Happy Christmas all you lovely September Chemo Starters and October drop ins 

Thank  you for all your wonderful  support- and of course, for understanding..... 

My 5 and 7 year old have been awake since 4.30 am.  Despite the unsociable hour, it does bring me joy to hear their singing and excitement. They are not allowed to open their presents until official  wake up at 6-30 am.

Have a great day everyone.  I’m going to try a bit of mind over matter today and am determined have fun (in my pyjamas of course)

jo xx 

[Ali49]

Hoping everyone feels better tomorrow and those dreadful bone pains go away!! Wishing you all a very happy Christmas with those you love and those who love you xxx

[Geordie doon sooth]

Glad you’re home Jow and hope you stay well now! I am so happy that some of you ladies are well enough to consider prosecco and I may even break my own abstinence (since August!) to have sip tomorrow too! Our little community has been wonderful through the hardest times and I join everyone in thanking you all for your mutual support! Merry Christmas to all you lovely ladies - you all deserve the best xx

[Cathysid]

Ps. Tasted a glass of prosecco last night - it was nice!
Shi - have a lovely Xmas, I’m sure it will be full of sparkle!

[Cathysid]

Day 10 and slowly improving now. Managed to eat sloppy eggs with ketchup again for breakfast and a sausage with ketchup for lunch. Hmmm weird what my taste buds can handle! We always go for a curry on Xmas eve night - wonder if I will need to put ketchup on it! Ha ha

Had another diarrhoea crisis on the way up north - consequetly have visited several public toilets in Penrith over the course of 2 hours. 5 minutes after leaving each one and getting back on the road I needed to go again! We were traveling at 130mph on the m6 to reach a loo before a disaster erupted! Agony!
Anyway, all settled now.

I feel tearful today with gratitude for all you ladies and our little online community, always here to offer support and share the tough times, you’ve been a rock in this sea of uncertainty, love you all - wishing you all the very best for Christmas and a new year full of joy and good health.

Mrs M, Geordie, jow, Ck, Rhona - hang on in there, you’ll be coming out the other side soon!
Ali and fairydust- not long till you will be ringing that bell too!

Xxx

[Shi]

Ck me too love Gone with the wind what a classic. Glad you are having a better day darling, think you are amazing working while having chemo you are so 💪😘😘💕💕✨✨shi xx

[CK]

Hi ladies
Day 5 now and feeling slighy better other than a sore throat and cough I had in the middle of the night. I think Ive let myself go with a sigh of relief after final treatment.
Jow, just keep on top of temp. Keep yourself cool and use a paper fan to cool down...it helps. At least you are home now and can relax.

Ive been watching Gone with the Wind and Only Fools and Horses whilst doing paperwork. Having nap now b4 go into work later to feed some tummys.

All I want for Chritmas is good health and for all of you ladies too😘😘😘

[Fairydust 14]

Hi Jow, so pleased you're home safe. Look after yourself and rest as much as you can. Yes, I did suggest Victoria Derbyshire s book. She does live a rather full on life doesn't she, not like me anyway. And no, you seriously ought not to feel pathetic..deary me. I'm sure that was not her intention for her readers or audio listeners to feel such a way! She does view her life differently now as do I. I am prepared for whatever. No reason to be fearful. That's a good thing. 

MrsMeow, I'm in terrible pain today but letting it go as much as poss. I have neurofen for breast pain, surgery scar pain and hope it works on injection bone pain. I have frankincense oil and rose petal dead sea salts for the bath too. Very easing. I have no taste buds but have a taste for cold things. Ice cream might be ok. Tried a banana and had to throw it out. 

Ice cold prosecco might be an idea...

Fairydust x

[Shi]

Jow,glad you are out and Home resting 😘😘thank you all again sept ladies for all the help and guidance you give us on the Oct thread 😘😘😘💕💕✨✨shi xx

[MrsMeow]

Jo you are going to have to join me outside floating around in nighties to keep cool! Hope you are ok on the antibs - in contrast to your listening I have been watching Victoria Wood programme on iplayer giving a much needed laugh.
Just managed to change the bed but what an effort - think we should have a medal and a t-shirt for completing the most basic things on day 5 haha
Loads of love to you all today - I told my friend to get christmassy by text last week and the spellcheck changed it to classy so I basically told one of my best friends to get classy - rude!
Take care all - is anyone having prosecco bubbles on the T injections or are you all staying dry till finished? I don't finish them till next Sunday so intend to have the odd small glass if painkiller free- I think...
Xx

[jow]

Oh that is grim to be in pain- I’d take all the painkillers available  Mrs Meow. I’ve had very little bone/joint pain thankfully., unusually . 

ive just spent the morning on the acute oncology unit as temp went up to 38.9 yesterday, after paracetamol (was so wiped out I forgot to take it before). I’m better today but was still over 38 so went in for blood tests which were ok. Now have antibiotics but am very pleased not to be staying in. I’m now home and in bed.

ive just finished listening to Victoria Derbyshire’s audiobook Dear Cancer (think Fairydust recommended it a while ago). It was good , although left me feeling a bit pathetic compared to her. 

This is a very surreal Christmas!

jo x 

[MrsMeow]

Thanks so much Geordie for telling me about the bone phosphonates - sorry everyone is struggling so much this weekend - have had a brutal night here with knee ankle and tummy pain - I don't usually take painkillers for anything much but am going to be swallowing either paracetamol or ibuprofen regularly for the next couple of days as this is pants! I do have codeine if I need it but not sure if this will make me more sleepy. Hope everyone manages some bits of Christmas Eve and that you are not all too sore, hot or sad - thanks for all the virtual hugs and support xx

[Ali49]

Today even xx

[Ali49]

Hope tomorrow is even better CK. Xxx

[CK]

Hi Ali and Geordie
I managed to go to work and see the newly weds. My daughter came to help so was easier with her in the car and coming home. My riends came to drop off prezzies too! Now hopefully good for tomorrow🤞Still crappy taste buds but enjoyed 2 helpings Choc yule log with double cream. Now soaking in Epsom salts and see whst sleep brings.
Speak tomorrow.xxx

[Ali49]

Ck and Geordie sorry you are suffering. Hoping it will ease amd you will feel better soon. Big hugs xxx

[Geordie doon sooth]

Love to all you ladies struggling today. The last treatment has been particularly tough on many of us by the looks of it. I had a horrible day yesterday and ended up crying my eyes out to a Christmas song as it felt like the final straw expecting to be cheerful and Christmassy when I felt upset and tired and ill! Bah humbug! However today I’ve felt much better just still exhausted. The tiredness has really taken over now.

MrsMeow - I just wanted to let you know that I’ve already had two infusions of zolendronic acid/ zometa/ bisphosphonates during chemo. I will continue to have these every 6 months too. They only take 10 minutes and haven’t given me any issues at all - much, much easier than chemo and nothing to worry about. Hope this makes you feel a bit better about it!

Merry Christmas lovely ladies and hope the next few days are kind to us all and allow us a break from all of this xxxx

[CK]

Hi ladies
Feeling lots better today after my cry and chat wirh dahghter last night. I told her its hard but Im doing it and how strange your life can change in just 6 months!! She said he would rather me cry and not protect her than hold it in and snap at her! I rhink we have got even closer after she has seen what Im going rhrough. Also winter solstice is my brothers birthday andr thry are all in Hong Kong so I Im feeling pretty lonely anyway.
Managed to sleep but woken up by a tickly cough and sore throat. Better now after lots of fluid and am feeling human again. Hopefully can go to work to see a wedding party of 60. Its gonnna be a good night but I will just take it easy.
Wrapped up all pezzies, mainly small thank you
ones. Daughter not got much but we will make up in the new year. Jow, I shouted twice at Merlot the cat yesterday for meowing when he had food. He disappeared under the bed on borh occasions! Tolerance is below zero! Hope you dont get any more other than tingly fingers. My toes are tingling and face still red. Just done injection but seem to tolerste them more now unless rhe T aches and pains have taken over.xx

Cathysid
Well done with your studies!! Clever lady🤗Something to look forward to in 2018!!!
Any food with whatever sauce is good if it goes down. I had sweet potato soup again which leftt a funny taste. Now sipping ginseng tea. My ops 22nd January so notctoo long between us and gives us time to prepare.xx

Mrs Meow
Perfect weather here to fly around in your nighty. The sun is shining. We most certsinly have vecome emotional at rhe end of this cycle...a mixture of feelings...but let it out!!! Good for your colleagues. My flowers have been continuous and they cheer me up.
Your ED is having an experience of a lifetime. Well done to her. Its great when rhey experience more of life. Mine went to Japan last year and Hong Kong. Shes studying Criminology which she just loves.x

Ali
Hope you are ok and enjoy the delay. It was meant to be.xx

Fairydust
Hope rhe patient is more tolerable although mine has got worse. Even Merlot is getting it. Re arrange the furniture again:D. X

Shi, Meesh, Mishy its always good ro see you pop up wirh kind words and supporting others too. We really are are great bunch of warriors battling on to defeat anyrjing which stsnds in our way.xxx

[jow]

Sorry ur not on top  form today- Mrs M, CK.  I’m in bed too feeling v aimless, eating but not enjoying eating. I can’t even be bothered to have a shower but no doubt feel better if I do get up and out.

Thats not ideal re your family bugs Cathy- are you still planning on cooking for 26 on Christmas Day???

Yes maybe I’ve had too many visitors- usually at least 10 in bad chemo weeks. I like seeing people but I do get tired and find it hard To decline visits because people  have been so generous

I've thrown a (plastic) plate of toast on the floor today in frustration- hope that’s the chemo not the real me.....

Im very wiped and heady at mo  but no localised side effects yet other than tingling fingertips and long standing watering eyes.

I think we need some sunshine!

j x

[MrsMeow]

Sending love to Cathy CK and others struggling this weekend - this round is so brutal am floored in bed today trying to get in some rest as the next few days will be busier but honestly don't think I'm going to manage festive very well- can we postpone xmas for a week?!
Am off jelly too Cathy but enjoying small rice pudding pots and only 40sec in microwave - am on own today and watching all the cooking shows whilst simultaneously not having a clue what to have for lunch!
Maybe as well OH at work as day 4 post steroid is classic war with the family day haha - and I still have emotional incontinence at anything kind and soppy - 2 colleagues who have been through treatment sent me flowers in the post yest as they knew was a big deal- so lovely especially since we have mostly all been made redundant.
Tis the season of high emotion anyway especially when speaking to my ED who is now in a lovely national park in Nepal - am really missing her but happy for her - I wouldn't be much of a comparison for company.
Take care all - hugs all round we have had one hell of a year and it's been lovely to have such support from every single one of you xx

[Cathysid]

Ck - big hugs for you. This last round is a toughie, but soon we will turn the corner and leave it behind us. Hoping your tastebuds continue to enjoy hot chocolate and croissants!
Ali - I will give jelly a go, but since starting chemo I struggle with sweet foods. They taste salty and weird!

I did manage to get breakfast down today - very sloppy scrambled egg covered in tomato ketchup to take away the cardboard taste. Ugh. Don’t know if I could repeat it! Still haven’t caught the family Xmas virus, thank goodness, but suspect daughter number twos temperature is on its way up so I’m the last man standing. Maybe the chemicals in my blood will keep the virus away!

My operation, originally planned for 10th jan, has been moved to 17th. Oh well - I get an extra good week before the next challenge.
Oh, and I passed module one of my herbal medicine certificate so feeling like I’m not totally useless and brain dead after all! Just got to keep up the study for another 11 months to complete it.

Hope you are ok Mrs.m and jow, and any other chemo ladies this week,

Merry Xmas to you too shi and Meesh,

Cxxx

[Mishy18]

wishing you all a lovely Christmas this year with your loved ones 💖🎄

[Shi]

Ck big hug for you ❤️❤️❤️Just wanted to wish everyone a beautiful, peaceful and safe Christmas before everyone gets busy with family and thank you all again for being amazing💕💕✨✨shi xx

[CK]

Hi ladies
Day 3 after last cycle of T and I'm at that stage again when there is no time of night or day and eat and sleep as I wish or can! I have been a lot more tired after this session and my taste buds are having non of it. So far its croissants and jam and hot chocolate! I made a roast which tasted bland, pasta which tasted bland and ordered an Indian take away from my friends restaurant which I thought might taste something if spicy! No way!! So now having an Epsom Salt bath b4 I try a hot choccie again. I have 2 deep red patches at the side of my jaw, not itchy or flaky, just red and can feel an ulcer coming on!
I've watched so much TV in the past few days, its unbelievable but I love the Xmas movies especially Mrs Miracle!

I too need to be on my own when feeling like this. Daughter just came back shouting hi to me but my head hurts at loud noises but dont want to offend her. I then got a bit breathless and she asked me if I was ok but I think the emotions got the better of me and tears came to my eyes. Usually I hold them in not to upset her but we had a cry together and felt better for it. Rather than me hold it in and snap.

I think the end of chemo has brought a whole new lot of emotions, some of relief and some of not knowing what the future holds along with the next treatment but whatever ut takes to mend us we will do it!!! Fight this battle.xx

[Ali49]

Cathysid have you tried Jelly. I love the little jellp.pots andxwhen i was in hospital i was having jelly and ice cream, which was soothing and lovely.

Hope your mouth and taste is better soon xx

[Cathysid]

Love the Xmas penguin, Geordie!
Jow - hope you manage ok with so many visitors. I refuse to see anyone for 7 days after chemo as I feel like I can’t even listen or speak properly! Remember to retreat and rest as you need.
Mrs M - good to have a plan but yes, it does seem never ending. Let’s hope we all get no side effects from the rads and hormones. Hoping you manage to eat nice food and watch some good tv on Xmas day. You can make up for it at Hogmanay!

I feel better in myself today - energy is coming back and less heady. Unfortunately my partner and youngest daughter have a viral fever of 39.8 all day so living in a house of the unwell!
Also I still can’t eat - on every other round I managed to eat despite nausea and weird food tastes, but this time food taste/texture is so horrid it makes me gag even when I wasn’t feeling nauseaous and i just can’t make myself eat it. Even soup tasted dry today! I had to sieve it to get rid of any lumps but still no good. Potatoes are off the edible list too, as is porridge. I will have to live on vegetable juice and tap water(which tastes fine this time round!).
I’ve made a big Christmas wish that I don’t get the virus and end up in hospital over Xmas. If that comes true I can live with the not being able to eat thing!

Ck - how are you doing? Hope the Xmas lights have made it on and your daughter is not driving you crazy. I find it easier to cope post chemo if I’m left home alone rather than having to cope with others and their worries and questions.

Off to bed now, tired out after busy day finishing Xmas shopping, looking after people, packing and tidying!

Love to you all,
Cx

[MrsMeow]

Geordie your house looks amazing well done so cheery.
Onc appointment for me today - 2hr round trip not easy on day 3 but managed and with abs no antisick on board this round as sickness has not been an issue on docetaxel thank goodness. Such a lot to take in from appointment including the add on of a bone strengthening infusion twice a year for the next 3 years - that we didn't know about - and with SEs- and with the 10 years of letrozole feel like am going to be dodging SEs for years- but is better than the option of it returning though obvs.
So we are reeling a bit but am happy that no more appointments or visits until rads work up mid Jan so feels Christmas can start albeit worst cycle days this time will be sun mon tues-bah humbug! by NYE I will have rallied and be so excited.
Well done on those finished - even if you still have injections to go - am about to start my ten tonight
. Cathy hope you continue to improve - hope you are all enjoying a cosy night if not the usual mad Friday social night! Xx

[Fairydust 14]

Love your Christmas lights Geordie! Very proud looking penguin showing off the igloo too. So cute! I may put some lights outside my own house now, but just one string of net lights..better than nothing lol.

Fairydust x

[Ali49]

Well.done on last treatment Jow xx

CK i still jave 3 treatment tp go - having 7 in total xx

[jow]

Beautiful Christmas lights- I love them, what a great effort Geordie

Ive also had to escape my delightful but sometimes moody teen student daughter,  CK.  Have in laws staying here too - first time We’ve seen them since diagnosis 6m ago, but find the cooking and hosting a bit much (boys loving it tho)  so have been retreating to the chemo den a lot. I guess hard for anyone to understand what this is like.  Have visitors at 9am and more at 10-30 tomorrow but may just stay in pjs and hat - (agree better than a nightie when flying)

half a cup of tea Cathy- sounds grim, ( but on a positive note at least you may escape the weight gain !)

forgot lunchtime steroids, and 7pm dose doesn’t bode well for sleep.

Still feel cheery about finishing and great to have PICC out but aware s/e from this round not really hit me properly yet...

jo x. 

[Meesh73]

Evening ladies!

Geordie, the lights look fab!

Mrs meow, we also have one of those toilet seat covers!

CK, my cat is called Lexi littlelegs and is always meowing at me for no reason. I think it's because OH feeds her if she meows at him, no wonder she's a little splatterpuss 🤣😂🤣😂

Cathysid, hope you're feeling better today.

Jow well done on last chemo 🎉🎊🔔🔔🔔🎉🎊🎉yay for you! You lucky lady!

Its so nice to hear that you're finishing your chemo, it makes my end to treatment seem closer, even though I still have 2 to go.

[CK]

Aw, Geordie
Well done, it looks lovely and 100% for effort. I cant even be bothered to switch on my Xmas tree lights at the moment, I''m lying in bed watching Corry. Didn't even know it was on tonight!! I'll probably fall asleep too again. Bit frustrated I cant go to work to see my friends from Turkey and she doesnt know about me yet. Think Id better text her now.xx

[Geordie doon sooth]

Here it is ladies... my Christmas lights with light up penguin igloo (and last minute snow projector too!).  The photo doesn't quite capture it but I'm happy with the result!

[Geordie doon sooth]

Hey ladies. Well I had my PICC line taken out today, a week to the day after last chemo. It is fantastic to have my arm back and I’m allowed to have a shower from tomorrow whoop!

Jow - congratulations on your last chemo! it was me that bought the inflatable blow up penguins and they are AMAZING! I will try and figure out how to post a pic.

Mrs Meow - I made the same mistake with shopping delivery slots and assumed I could just do a normal grocery shop online the week before Christmas. Doh! Had to brave the shops yesterday but wasn’t too bad. I also have been struggling with lack of appetite but turned a corner today with a massive craving for chicken tikka masala so me and the husband ordered in for tea 👍🏻

Cathysid - I have also found that my side effects have peaked on this last one. I had a particularly nasty day on day 4 this time but it has got steadily better since. I feel exhausted but I do wonder if that’s because I carried on working around treatments and doing too much in general, and, now it’s over, I feel like I don’t need to keep trying so hard to get through it all and can finally relax!

CK - I have had similar issues with unexpected guests. I made the mistake of letting a friend in on Sunday because she’s driven 40 miles to give me a present but I could barely move or speak and it was an uncomfortable situation so she eventually worked it out and left. I felt really bad but you’ve made me feel better now as you’re right that it’s not our fault and we need to be more selfish!

Carry on upwards ladies xx

[CK]

Hi ladies
Ive just rested since Tuesdays last T and am very tired and can feel backache starting, which could also be 2nd GCSF injection. Have Aunt Sally cheeks but temp ok! But using the satin pillowcase cools your cheeks and bare head. Tight chest and a little vreatbless but thats the same as last 2!

Had chicken roast today but tasted very bland so Merlot the cat is one lucky boy! Last night rice pudding and jam tasted good and croissant and jam so maybe a sweet cycle this time. Hoping my daughter will make me a fruit smoothie soon. Also thinking pasta for dinner later although I have no set time for eating!

Skin fine at the moment, no burns and putting loads of Diprobase on. Maybe one ulcer trying to get through so Diflam mouthwash.

Had a visitor today without warning and I advice you tell people to send you a text fhrst as I paniced as was bald nj hat, dressing gown and just had lunch ready. Anyway she left after saying she was just in the area. I felt bad but on this occasion I thought of me. Didn't want to make polite conversation whilst feeling grotty and hungry and not prepared when she was all glam and made up!
Another messaged me last night and asked if I'll be in work tonight, 2 days after chemo. People really do not understand this chemo business!I let them know when I was in on my good weeks but it needed to suit them, not me! Well, no I'm going to be selfish again and stay in resting! I'm learning! Rant!

Daughter in a mood as the house is too hot she says! I love having her home but I have coped better without anyone moaning at home and just getting on with it! Then Merlot started to miew when he has 2 plates of food. I've come to my room now to escape them both.

Carhysid
Hope you feel better soon for Christmas. Nausea can be so unpleasant. I have an acidy feeling so Im just sucking on sweets and drinking milk and taking Rennie which helps. Lying in bed in a dark room sounds good.xx

Fairydust
As you can see my tolerance is not good so just bite your tongue and deep breath. Cats are much better to have around if not meowing for no reason.
Hope the re arranging furniture with your partner went well.xx

Mrs Meow
Cheery loo seats! Made me smile! Mine is silver glitter and Merlot sits on it when Im showering and loos at my head when I come out. Very subtle😾
Not seen you fly past lately. It is cold though. Im off steroids now so hopefully will get rid of that acidy stomache and will sleep better. Weight gain will come off, just eat what we fancy to keep strong! Glad you had a nice break, I havent been anywhere out of my comfort zone. My escape is to go to work on good days. I will make up for it in the future.xx

Ali
Yep, a passionate and firey 4ft 10 whos had to look after herself and orhers too. The tears were for relievement but then I was thinking there still is a way to go. I'm glad my posts helped you at the start of treatment like others helped me. Enjoy your time with family withput SE and you have time to be prepared for last treatment! Woop woop!xx

Jow
Well done too for last treatment! Ring a ding ding! We still have to get rhrough SE but what a good feeling. I think you need to join Mrs Meow and cat on her stick and fly past my window with tbose steroids. I may join you too although not in a nighty but PJs!!!xx

Geordie
This deffo puts into perspective was is and isnt important in life. We need to think for us now and not take things too seriously. Determination, hard work passion and dedication have always been my main points having to bring up a daughter single handedly and keep a roof over our heads and I have achieved that so now I need ro do things for me which I have never done! Always pleasing others which wont go but will be cut down. Enjoy knowing no more chemo..xx

Meesh
Good luck with the rest of your chemo and glad the the Sept thread has helped you as much as possible and the other threads too. Your train has helped us on our journey and hopefully later in rhe year when we are all mended we will all be catching a train to meet somewhere and celebrating a good quality of life in the future.xx

Good luck Shi, Whytefawn, SueW, Jencat, Rhonaboat, Cherry, Sue 58, Ruth, Ali S, Karana, Buddyfan, and the many many other beautiful ladies on here. We are warriors and will fight and win the battle as my 81 mum who beat cancer 10 years ago said!!!

And may I just add a huge thank you to our CCs who keep an eye on us on here and jump in when needed, mostly at the beginning of our frightening and taunting diagnosis, using their time and experience to help us and support us through what is the most frightening and worrying thing in our lives!!!
Have a good night girls😘😘😘

[Shi]

Cathysid 😘😘😘big hug wrapping round you, keep strong try and have a nibble of something and keep those fluids going in. Hope your oh gets rid of that cold too. Lovely to see the ladies all starting to finish chemo give us Oct girls lots of hope 😁😁😁thank you. 😘😘💕💕✨✨✨shi xx

[Cathysid]

Thanks for the kind thoughts everyone. I’m less dizzy today and managed a little walk to school with the kids - my partner has come down with a bad cold so he stayed in bed today so there was no other option!

I haven’t managed any food at all today, and only half a cup of tea. Still to nauseous and can’t think of one thing that appeals. I’ve taken a cyclizine but no improvement. I did have a dose reduction this time so no idea why I feel so grim.

Well, I’m on the sofa watching Xmas films with the kids so it’s not all bad,

Hope you are all ok Ck, jow and Mrs M, and any others who are in the same boat,
Ali hoping your infection is better.
Festive wishes Geordie, fairydust, Rhona, Meesh and shi,
Lots of love cx

[Fairydust 14]

Well done Jow! I'm pleased for you. Good timing for Christmas I guess, but please still let others look after you and don't assume you're all "fixed". You still need to be made a fuss off I feel.

I know what you mean about steroid high. I've never experienced anything like it..and its weird. My every last nerve is heightened and I don't want to talk to anyone verbally in case I say the wrong thing. Being tired/exhausted makes it so much worse. I don't want to be a grump on Christmas day but can see it coming. I will need some Kalms or something if I'm allowed.

Cathysid, I hope you feel better but easier said than done I know. Thinking of you. Classic FM May help to chill.

Fairydust x

[MrsMeow]

Yoohoo Jow - well done - would be funny if we were all in the same unit on our steroids - I wonder who would be last up talking - and the Amazon bill would be huge haha. Hope the sleep happens tonight - I haven't minded the first couple of days after D - it's when the injections start that I get grumpy! Just as well as need to do a grocery shop tomorrow and it will be mobbed - I foolishly thought I could get an online delivery - not a single slot now till after Christmas so will have to go in person boo. Good night to all xx

[jow]

Yippee, I have had my last dose this afternoon and it does feel like a psychological milestone even tho I’ve got to get through the side effects and will be rubbish for Christmas.  I took my own ‘end of chemo’ bell in and everyone cheered and the. Came back home for champagne. Didn’t taste that great but needed to mark the day, I had a huge dose of steroids oral plus iv and was conscious of my verbal diarrhoea but couldnt stop yabbering on in the until the iv piriton zonked me out and then everyone got a bit of rest. The steroid mania is making me buzz a bit more  again now so like you Mrs M I’m on a bit of a high and even sent a card to oncologist thank8ng her for curing me.  We shall see!!  

Loving the loo.  And who bought the inflatable igloos or was it penguins.? Are they up? I’m  so loving everyone’s Christmas lights this year and have resolved to buy more for 2018.  Ours are very tasteful but bordering on dull.

Sorry you are feeling so rough Cathy. I was like that on first lot of T- could only really cope with my head backi on pillow, lying down as felt so dizzy and heady. Very unpleasant. And too late for a dose reduction for you.  I just had to keep telling myself that it will pass and I will feel better,  it not easy at the time tho...

I think I will take a sleeping tablet now as unlikely to get any zzz in at this rate.  Hope you are all snoozing peacefully.

jo x 

[Ali49]

Cathysid hope you feel better soon. Its obviously giving you a last hurrah!! Roll on day 8!!

I had a day of steroids yesterday, due to supposedly having chemo today and i have been absolutely glowing all day today!! I have a farmers face!

Hope everyone is ok and gets a good sleep tonight x

[MrsMeow]

Cathysid so sorry you are having it rough today - do you need a medicine review re sickness? I have not had any sickness on dox yet - but next week i will be at the same stage as you except you have extra add on treatments - what a shame you need to be flat - you have done so well in other cycles - maybe this is a cumulative thing - hopefully the chemo munching every single last bit of worry in the cells - hope it passes soon though - when do you come north? Be good to yourself and same to all other ladies tonight too - I am on a significant high after finishing today - I hope this good mood lasts for a long time - OH is already worrying about the next phase of rads whereas I am more concerned that I have 3 weeks of chemo yuk onboard to deal with - my mouth has already gone yuk just after a few hours. Wishing you all a good night - for those of you still on steroids like me we can have a chat in the early hours! xx