September 2017 Chemo Starters

[Ali49]

Have a great night tonight Cathy. Its great that you dont have to do the food xx

Fairydust so glad you are feeling better and out of the steroid dip xx

Chaffinch i had the first herceptin 8njection on Wednesday and so far i am ok. Legs felt heavy yesterday bit dont know of that the Herceptin or not. I already had 3 lots with my chemo though x

I am feeling a bit nervous about my op on M9nday but also eager to get it out of the way.

Hope everyone has a good day xx

[Cathysid]

Hi chaffinch,
I’ve found herceptin very doable compared to chemo. I’ve had three now on their own, given by injection into the thigh over 5 minutes. The first time I was achey and had a dry mouth for a few days, the second I had no side effects. The third which I had on Thursday has given me really bad leg aches and a dry mouth again. Maybe because I had a general anaesthetic this week my body was less resilient!
Most people have no real problems so good luck x

[Chaffinch17]

Glad you are feeling better Fairydust x
Enjoy your birthday weekend Cathy x
First Herceptin for me today, new territory, hopefully not too many new side effects. Looking for other people’s experiences of Herceptin, good and bad. Not sure how long it takes for side effects to hit?

[Fairydust 14]

Good Morning...I've come out the other side of my weepiness!!  

Now, just want to sparkle and smile until it hits me again..which unfortunately I know it will..

However, Cathy, really glad you're doing well after your margin op, and no pain. Isn't surgery amazing. Our surgeons deserve recognition for doing the amazing operations on us. Your birthday is the never-ending party...and why not?? Enjoy!! Do you have birthday cake at each one? I hope you do!!

Fairydust x

[Cathysid]

Good morning everyone,
I’m back in having my seroma drained again - I think it may finally be settling down. Fingers crossed! My second op to get better margins on breast wide lump excision only put me out of action for a day! I’m feeling back to normal already. No pain or discomfort. Just another 3 week wait and hopefully off to rads next!
Having another birthday celebration on Saturday evening. A few girlfriends coming round for wine and food. I’m really looking forward to it. They are even bringing the food with them as they wouldn’t let me make food for them! I have made a yummy raw chocolate avocado cheesecake for afters though... any excuse!

Hope you are all doing well,
Cx

[Chaffinch17]

Glad surgery went well Cathy, hope recovery goes well too x
MrsMeow, hope last radiotherapy session is ok and enjoy time with hubby. No more long round trips x
My hubby’s birthday today so we braved the valentines crowds and went to our favourite Thai restaurant. It was nice to do something normal 😊

[Cathysid]

Big hugs fairydust. Just go with the flow, we’ve all had those days. I think it’s more emotional after the last chemo, too. Somehow it all seems to catch up with you. Hope tomorrow is brighter,
Cx

[Fairydust 14]

Thanks Mishy, thanks Ali

Your kind words make me more emotional...  🙂

I will be ok. I'm going to wallow in a good romantic novel, hot bath and then sleep for a while. I'm too emotional to be with today, thank goodness my man isn't here. I'm a blubbering wreck.

Have a wonderful day ladies.

Fairydust x

[Fairydust 14]

Glad you're back Cathy, rest well. Be pampered I hope. You deserve it.

Fairydust x

[Cathysid]

Home already, thanks. Still very groggy so off to bed to sleep it off! X

[Ali49]

Good luck today Cathy. Take ypur painkillers regularly. Hope you are home soon xx

Faity the emotions are normal so be kind to yourself. Lots of love xx

[Mishy18]

Let them out fairy a little cry now and then heals us a little more 😊
Happy valentines ladies 💖💖💖

[Fairydust 14]

In terms of side effects, my mouth is sore like it's been burnt on the roof, but I can taste!! That's a relief! Emotions are very strange though, high, low, teary. What to do?

[Fairydust 14]

Hi Cathy, Ohh  good luck with surgery today. Thinking of you. Let us know when you're back home or are you likely to stay over a night? What a Valentine's day for you...I'm sure your OH will be super worried for you. Hope you get to spend some lovely time together today. 

Fairydust x

[Cathysid]

Congratulations on the end of radiotherapy, jo and Mrs M! Moving towards the less intensive treatment now. Phew.
Hope your meeting with onc goes well today Ck, and you have a lovely Valentine’s Day in the restaurant- don’t overdo it though x

I’m waiting in pre op. Surgery today to clear margins on breast lump. Should be done by lunchtime. First on the list!

Another birthday celebration planned on Saturday evening - just a few girls over for food and drinks. Should be lovely. Also my partner has planned us a birthday weekend away in a couple of weeks - can’t wait!

MrsM - enjoy your film and night away. Last night sounded lovely with luxury and prosecco! Hope you weren’t too lonely without your hubby.

Ali - how are you feeling now?

Fairydust- are you over all the side effects now? Just expect a bigger emotional dip after the longer course of steroids.

Cx

[Ali49]

The end of treatment hascertainly got us all thinking ladies! Jow that course sounds interesting.

Ck hope your apt goes well tomorrow and you get your dates. Dont work too hard.

Chaffinch glad you and your hubby had a good chat xx

[MrsMeow]

Congratulations Jow - so happy for you that you are finished rads - my last one tomorrow - there is no bell but am excited as am taking in a box of tiny wrapped heart shaped soaps for the radiographers - 30 of them for valentines day as I love them all! Not sure if I wrote it on here or the radiotherapy thread but am extremely over anxious about the machines and would rather have surgery than radiotherapy ! So the staff have been very understanding and they are all my valentine this year.
OH has booked us to stay in the city again but not as posh a deal as last night- we are going to see the Churchill film at the cinema then dinner - hope film is loud so I don't fall asleep!
Hope everyone is doing well - Cathy is your birthday still ongoing? sending positive thoughts to you all xxx

[CK]

Chaffinch
I remember hormones haywire when my daughter did A levels and now shes 2nd year at uni studying criminology! She's calmed down since and more mature but still very anxious when doing exams and waiting for results.

Im seeing Onc tonorrow, hopefully will get my dates for rads.

Having a beer and trying to watchTrauma without falling asleep. Long day tonorrow. Hospital in the morning and then Valentines evening should be busy❤

[Chaffinch17]

Fairydust, my hubby and I had a chat last week during which he told me that men don’t overthink in the way that women do and will generally tell you if they are genuinely unhappy. He said just because he moans and grumbles doesn’t mean he’s had enough. We’ve been together for 34 years!
I’m used to pep talking my YD she is very anxiety ridden st the moment. I think the combination of A levels my diagnosis whilst waiting for her results, starting uni as I started treatment really haven’t helped bless her.

[Fairydust 14]

Hi Jow, that sounds intense but actually interesting.

Mishys earlier post also sounds good 're seeking confidence building and support for anxiety. My confidence in going back to life as it was, is so diminished. So all of your supportive suggestions are welcomed warmly.

Thanks both for sharing your inner thoughts with us. I wish you much luck in meeting your goals and getting through this. We will continue to support each other, through anxiety and tears of which it seems we will still shed many more,  and joy.

Fairydust x

[jow]

I’ve just read the posts- entertaining as ever!

Mrs M with her prosecco and slippers and Fairydust with her man dilemmas.  I think my psychologist would encourage us to live in the moment Fairy - to enjoy now for what it is (including your lovely man) rather than worrying about the future or ruminating on the past.  Easier said than done I know

Im trying to learn a bit about this ACT stuff, acceptance and commitment therapy which is the therapy  I’m having.  I’m not fully versed in it yet but it is about exploring what your values are and then committing action towards goals that sit with those values. It involves  learning to dissociate (e.g by using mindfulness practice) from  the negative thoughts that we will  inevitably have and which distract us from living according to those values.  It basically helps people to accept unpleasant feelings, but not over react or avoid situations which cause them.  I think! 

Just back home from my last radiotherapy session .  Had lunch with husband to celebrate and now in bed (i.e I’m in bed, not we’re in bed) as I’m pretty weary.  I don’t feel I can fully rejoice yet- have dreaded CT next week, plus hormone stuff and ovarian removal, bisohosphonates and paclociclib trial to get through yet, but guess it’s  step closer to the end of active treatment . I got another bell to ring and shed a tear when everyone clapped.  I’m sure I didn’t used to be this emotional ! 

Tried the choc ginger drink last night Cathy- delicious.  Is it your next op tomorrow?  

Jo x 

[MrsMeow]

Many times during this process I have described myself as being emotionally incontinent!!
I am a crier anyway and have no chance now of keeping it under control - happy or sad - oh well...
Have a lovely day everyone x

[Fairydust 14]

Just to say he did send me a text once saying those who know me are lucky to know me,  which was lovely. Well, I think I'd better reply that I'm lucky to know him. He is a keeper.

I'm lucky to know you ladies too..very very lucky.

Fairydust x

[Fairydust 14]

Thanks so much wonderful ladies. Your advice is so positive. I needed that. I think it's clear I have no confidence in me when it comes to men. I always over do things. Thanks for keeping building me up when I fall. I fall too often though. I must learn.

MrsMeow is right,  I'm so much more emotional than I've ever been in my entire  life, but I know we all have our sadness and tears and wishes, and appreciate you spending time advising me with the benefit of your thoughts. You are so kind.

I will try very hard to see where this relationship goes, and try not to spoil it, but instead enjoy it even with its complications, which is really just part of life.

MrsMeow, I am sorry your OH is away from you while you sip Prosecco in a lovely luxury hotel room. I'm glad you found such a lovely room and feel pampered! That's so bittersweet for you. Hope you enjoyed it so much anyway, and thought of him with love. An early Valentine's treat for one. 

Have a lovely night all. Sleep tight.

Fairydust x

[Ali49]

Fairydust you write so openly! Thats what i l9ve about this forum. We can just let it all out!

I agree with everyone else - go with the flow!! Your man has stayed through tough times. He could have bailedbut he didnt. He wouldnot have stayed if he hadnt wanted to - he stayed for you!

Your treatment is done and you are rec9vering from SE's. Just enjoy what you have now and see how it develops. You will know if its right or not xxx

Mrs Meow, hope you have a l0vely restful night xxx

[MrsMeow]

Fairydust your emotions are in turmoil and that is ok - in my vast experience (haha) men are fairly simple beings and the fact he is still with you means he is happy and you are doing everything right by being you - he is a lucky man and you should remind him of that!! This will make you laugh - I have had to do the long journey up to treatment twice today to avoid the weather warning and managed to get a hotel room at a great deal for under £50 with a bottle of prosecco deal, robes slippers the lot - except my lovely husband couldn't come up as he is working so I am in the most romantic setting sipping a lovely glass on my own - perfectly describes long term married life!! The lovely wee guy at reception even came across the street to get my case out of the car and carry it up to the room - people are lovely x Hope everyone is keeping cosy and having a good night x

[Mishy18]

Ooh the holiday retreat sounds good 😊 wouldn't mind one of those x yeah fairy follow your heart 💖

[Cathysid]

Fairydust,

big hugs! No one knows how long they are destined to be here on this Earth.  All you can do is live and love each day as if it were your last. Having had breast cancer, you may still have a full long healthy life ahead.  Men tend not to overthink things as much as us women. If he's with you, I would think it's because he wants to be with you! Xxx

[CK]

Fairydust
Our minds do overthink when going through this very difficult time but your man has stuck around right through and still around so he is for keeps! Even when we are not ill anything can go wrong but its because we lose our confidence losing our hair and the drugs etc. We will see negatives if we let ourselves but we must try our best not to and see the good and positives even if sometbing doesnt go to plan. You must give him reassurance too as that could affect him if you give off negative vibes. Just be yourself and dont think too much into the future. What will be will be but from what I read you have nothing to worry about and hes a keeper.

Dont get me wrong, my mind does wander too and I ended a new relationship when I was diagnosef as I didnt want him to see me go through it all. It was just dating and I didnt want added stress on both sides. Now I'm thinking whether anyone will want to be with me after this, yet Im also thinking that I want to so some travelling once Im well again and dont want to be tied down. So just go with the flow.

The course will help! Ive booked into a moving forward course and planned a holiday retreat which will help my mind. Yoga really helps and calms and relaxation sessions.

We will be fine.xxx

[Mishy18]

Fairy go with the flow hun and do what is right for you if hes still around hes probably a good one!! I recommend you book yourself on a Maggies where now course i start mine next Friday its for 7 weeks a couple of hours each session think it will be good for me to go and get some much needed confidence i currently have seen a counsellor through Maggies too to help me with my anxiety which started when dad was diagnosed in September and sadly passed 2 weeks later it really magnified my fears for my own future and started a fee anxiety issues for me all of ohr journeys through this process are different and difficult so im not unique in feeling a little fragile you are still in treatment mode im out the other side now by 4 weeks tomorrow!!! I feel like I need to get me back to being fun again as atm im not, being off work during treatment hasn't helped as i have no confidence and am apprehensive about returning so this is why i really need the course!!! Maggies is a bloody Godsend im so grateful for looking after my emotional wellbeing 💖
Cathy hope you have lots of celebrations planned for the big 40 what a lovely surprise that sounded
Goid to hear everyone is doing well 😊

[Fairydust 14]

Oh thanks Chaffinch, I needed calming down. Emotions are so high for me, thanks for being the voice of reason. I'm hoping he has a plan for us. Wish he'd talk to me, but I'll wait. 🙂

Fairydust x

[Chaffinch17]

Possibly Fairydust but don’t be afraid just go with the flow. If it’s meant to be then it will work, try not to overthink it. Sounds good that you both have no children, you only have yourselves to think about. Wishing you lots of future happiness x

[Fairydust 14]

MrsMeow, thanks for your Valentine's thoughts for us. I hope MrMeow has your own very special Valentine message for you, but I sense you don't need a specific day for words of adoration!

You know. I've come to realise my desire for a cat is for unconditional love, I want love , hugs, total adoration to me every day for the rest of my life, marriage, the works.

Never had this in adult life, but the man in my life may not want the same with me. 

What to do!! I've known him a few months before my bc diagnosis, he's kind, caring, texts a lot, won't walk away now, but what if he leaves once I'm "cured"', so he can feel better about not leaving whilst I'm ill. What if it's all in my head? I don't want to scare him away. We've still so much to learn about each other. Properly talk and share, and not just about bc.

He's been married before, divorced 10 years now I think. He's 47 this year I think. I will be 49 this year. We neither of us have kids. He still could though! Just not with me of course.

I'm so scared I'm into it more than he is. I need him more than I wanted to. Is that love? 

Fairydust x

[Fairydust 14]

Ck, You're so giving and lovely. Really nice of you to share all your good deeds with us. Puts me to shame, I'm a giver more than a doer I guess. And my house refurb is good. Bedroom is done, in terms of sparkly mirrored furniture, sparkly accessories and artificial plants, (I can't handle real plants, they all fail to live long).

The rest of my house is great. Infrastructure stuff such as orangery extension to wait for my family to help me with quotes, maybe in summer or sale. Chemo brain is stopping me doing anything major. I do want to attend a moving forward after cancer course, I need it to get myself centred, as am a mass of different emotions on different hours of different days. Tearful, exhilarated, scared, confident. And the man in my life is lovely,  and I need assurances from him that I don't know if I should ask for. My requirements are that I really want a loyal, tight, cherishing relationship, but what if he's worried about my cancer returning in a year or so, and being alone if all goes wrong.. can a woman with cancer  in  her past expect a new future without her man wondering about his own life.

 Fairydust x

[MrsMeow]

Thanks CK - you will be fabulous with your unicorn next year as you say - your heart is huge and caring - I think we are all each others' Valentine this year for all the love, support and sharing this forum gives. Hope Merlot is ok too and making sure you dont do too much Take good care everyone x

[CK]

Hi ladies, hope we are all coping and moving onto our next treatments smoothly. I've veen working 3 days and resting or seeing friends on other days. Also preparing for Chinese New Year of the Dog.
Im a little sad this year as usually I go to about 15 nurseries to do a talk and take the Unicorn and the children love it but still recovering from op so need to give them a miss. In return they all give me a donation to my childrens charity but they will miss it this year. Some are coming to the restaurant for a talk and food tasters too, so not all will miss out. Also have cubs and brownies coming too. Oh well, theres always next year. Just feel sad I cant do.

Cathysid
How lovely for your surprise, just nice timing b4 your op on Weds. Goid luck for that
Ali
I hope the rash is clearing up, it will once the drug start to finish what its doing. Mines cleared up now and no scar.x
DFairydaust
Hope SE for last one arent too difficult as the dose was reduced!. Well done for getting there. Hows the refurb?x
Mrs Meow
Glad all well and coping. Have tou flown by in your nighty and cat lately. Merlits watching out every night? Prickles up his ears at every sound!xx
Jow,
Hope you are ok and the children. It was my dads birthday end of Jan and he left us 10 years ago. They will be watching over us.xx
Chaffinch, Whytefawn, hope you are doing well too.

Ladies, hope your other halves send you a big bunch of flowers! Im single so will be happy to see happy couples at work, but just knowing we are on the way to recovery is my biggest Valentines gift

Love you all for being hear for one another.xxx

[MrsMeow]

So glad you had such a nice surprise party meal Cathy - keep party treats going now for the full 2 weeks! X

[Fairydust 14]

Oh wow, Cathy, how lovely!! That's such a surprise 2 weeks ahead..! I bet your eyebrows would have shot up your forehead if you had drawn them on, but in your natural strong post cancer state, what better way than for you to celebrate. Age 40 awaits you. Life begins at 40. Enjoy!!

Fairydust x

[Ali49]

Aah Cathy thats fab! The best nights out are the ones we dont expect! Did you cry?

Its great having a big birthday as we do get spoilt. They do make us emotional though when we are going through tough times. I was 50 last year xxx

[Cathysid]

Hi all,

fairydust, hope you are still enjoying your food. 

Turns out there were two birthday parties this weekend! I was surprised with a 40th birthday pub meal with all the family last night.  I had no idea. It's still two weeks till my birthday and I've not really thought about it with all that's going on. I though we were going to my sisters for takeaway. I hadn't drawn on my eyebrows or changed out of my muddy dog walking clothes, ha ha. It was such a nice surprise!

x

[Fairydust 14]

Glad you got back safe from another rads session MrsMeow, you and MrMeow are so strong. Your podcast recommendations sound fab. I've never done podcasts much. I'll look into them. Thanks! I am an Archers listener though..sometimes a little weird storyline though..

I have listened to Rumpole of the Bailey stories on radio 4 ...very old fashioned legal dramas, but interesting. I like legal legal thrillers, but then I like most things except horror.

Cathy, enjoy your journey oop north, and the party. Party hats and poppers and pass the parcel...rather you than me...but it will be mega fun I'm sure!!

I can't believe that I  still have taste buds although they are changing a bit...bit of a furry warm mouth sensation creeping up on me. Blaaagh so I  am indeed eating  while I can still taste. Spaghetti Bolognese tonight. But lots of cold drinks and cold fruit too. 

Enjoy your evening!!

Fairydust x

[MrsMeow]

Didn't need the shovel and the biggest problem driving home was the sun in my eyes - weather cannot make its mind up! First rads booster done today which took much longer but was fine am so glad only 3 to go. Resting up tonight as has been a busy week - in the car we listen to dramas and podcasts when we are not listening out for travel updates. Have you found the podcast 'Fortunately'? Is fun - and me and Mr Meow for years have been following Home Front on radio 4 - there are over 50 omnibus episodes online so that will cover anyone's rads trips - we have gardened to them with headphones on for almost 2 years is like a long running soap opera. Final recommendation is the radio 5 live podcast Beyond Reasonable Doubt if you like true crime stuff is great. (I am only allowed the Archers if am in the car on my own so less said about that the better) and I like music too any local radio up to date stuff - YD has a partner who is a radio and club DJ so I have to try see what is current or I sound like a dinosaur. Hope you all get some r and r this weekend and the rotten symptom bingo behaves take care everyone xxx

[Cathysid]

Glad you are doing better fairydust. After my 7 day course of steroids I was ravenous for a week, so enjoy the food while you have such a great appetite!

Mrs M - hope you got there today and didn’t need the shovel. We have had no real snow yet this year in Manchester. The kids would love to wake up to deep snow and a chance at sledging. Bet you are happy to have your daughter back home - bet the photos are fabulous too.

Fairydust, I don’t get on so well with radio one these days either. I like two and four, especially programs where it’s mainly talking like Jeremy vine and woman’s hour.....I will even listen to gardening programs, politics, anything I find interesting. Drives my other half mad as he loves banging techno!

Well, off oop north for the weekend. My nieces 5th birthday party to attend. Booked in Wednesday for my next op.

Cx

[Ali49]

Hi mrs Meow. Still got the rash, very sore around my eyes and stil look awful although i feel fine. Glad i've not got any more chemo though.

Hope your rads run goes smoothly and you dont need the shovel!!

Xx

[Fairydust 14]

Hi MrsMeow, steady as you go...thinking of you..do you have a rads playlist in your car, or is it radio. I love radio 2 and radio 4 but not so much radio 1 these days.

[Fairydust 14]

Thanks Chaffinch. Hope all well with you! 

[MrsMeow]

Morning - goodness you ladies are going through some stuff - you are all amazing
Ali how is your face now? And Cathy sorry you are facing another op you sound stoic indeed it has been a rollercoaster for you - my second op last year allowed them to clear my seromas more fully so maybe your grapefruits days are numbered...
Jo fairy and Ck hope you are getting some you time - we are off on our usual snowy rads run in a few minutes - packing a shovel flask and suitcase - looks like the Winter Olympics here - glad got warmed up by having a curry night with my ED who is back from India and we spent the night looking at her photos last night - lovely
Take care everyone and keep cosy x

[Chaffinch17]

Glad to hear that you are coping ok so far Fairydust, long may it continue x

[Fairydust 14]

Hi Cathy, hi Jo, thanks for asking. Wow, I feel so different this time. Felt bad earlier today admittedly, flu like symptoms, and still bone pain from injections,  but right now am eating hot buttered toast and drinking ribena, as am ravenous. I couldn't do that last time. I can only take it one day at a time, but so far so good. See how tomorrow goes! 

Hope you are ok. 

Fairydust x

[Ali49]

Cathy so sorry you have to have another op. I had a cavity shave last year to get clear margins. It was a quick op. I thought you had had a masectomy!!

What happens over the lymph node? Or is it finenow that its gone?

Jow you survived the juggling act! Hope the chicken pox clears up soon. X