Good Morning...I've come out the other side of my weepiness!!
Now, just want to sparkle and smile until it hits me again..which unfortunately I know it will..
However, Cathy, really glad you're doing well after your margin op, and no pain. Isn't surgery amazing. Our surgeons deserve recognition for doing the amazing operations on us. Your birthday is the never-ending party...and why not?? Enjoy!! Do you have birthday cake at each one? I hope you do!!
Thanks Mishy, thanks Ali
Your kind words make me more emotional... 🙂
I will be ok. I'm going to wallow in a good romantic novel, hot bath and then sleep for a while. I'm too emotional to be with today, thank goodness my man isn't here. I'm a blubbering wreck.
Have a wonderful day ladies.
Hi Cathy, Ohh good luck with surgery today. Thinking of you. Let us know when you're back home or are you likely to stay over a night? What a Valentine's day for you...I'm sure your OH will be super worried for you. Hope you get to spend some lovely time together today.
Hi Jow, that sounds intense but actually interesting.
Mishys earlier post also sounds good 're seeking confidence building and support for anxiety. My confidence in going back to life as it was, is so diminished. So all of your supportive suggestions are welcomed warmly.
Thanks both for sharing your inner thoughts with us. I wish you much luck in meeting your goals and getting through this. We will continue to support each other, through anxiety and tears of which it seems we will still shed many more, and joy.
I’ve just read the posts- entertaining as ever!
Mrs M with her prosecco and slippers and Fairydust with her man dilemmas. I think my psychologist would encourage us to live in the moment Fairy - to enjoy now for what it is (including your lovely man) rather than worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. Easier said than done I know
Im trying to learn a bit about this ACT stuff, acceptance and commitment therapy which is the therapy I’m having. I’m not fully versed in it yet but it is about exploring what your values are and then committing action towards goals that sit with those values. It involves learning to dissociate (e.g by using mindfulness practice) from the negative thoughts that we will inevitably have and which distract us from living according to those values. It basically helps people to accept unpleasant feelings, but not over react or avoid situations which cause them. I think!
Just back home from my last radiotherapy session . Had lunch with husband to celebrate and now in bed (i.e I’m in bed, not we’re in bed) as I’m pretty weary. I don’t feel I can fully rejoice yet- have dreaded CT next week, plus hormone stuff and ovarian removal, bisohosphonates and paclociclib trial to get through yet, but guess it’s step closer to the end of active treatment . I got another bell to ring and shed a tear when everyone clapped. I’m sure I didn’t used to be this emotional !
Tried the choc ginger drink last night Cathy- delicious. Is it your next op tomorrow?
Just to say he did send me a text once saying those who know me are lucky to know me, which was lovely. Well, I think I'd better reply that I'm lucky to know him. He is a keeper.
I'm lucky to know you ladies too..very very lucky.
Thanks so much wonderful ladies. Your advice is so positive. I needed that. I think it's clear I have no confidence in me when it comes to men. I always over do things. Thanks for keeping building me up when I fall. I fall too often though. I must learn.
MrsMeow is right, I'm so much more emotional than I've ever been in my entire life, but I know we all have our sadness and tears and wishes, and appreciate you spending time advising me with the benefit of your thoughts. You are so kind.
I will try very hard to see where this relationship goes, and try not to spoil it, but instead enjoy it even with its complications, which is really just part of life.
MrsMeow, I am sorry your OH is away from you while you sip Prosecco in a lovely luxury hotel room. I'm glad you found such a lovely room and feel pampered! That's so bittersweet for you. Hope you enjoyed it so much anyway, and thought of him with love. An early Valentine's treat for one.
Have a lovely night all. Sleep tight.
big hugs! No one knows how long they are destined to be here on this Earth. All you can do is live and love each day as if it were your last. Having had breast cancer, you may still have a full long healthy life ahead. Men tend not to overthink things as much as us women. If he's with you, I would think it's because he wants to be with you! Xxx
Oh thanks Chaffinch, I needed calming down. Emotions are so high for me, thanks for being the voice of reason. I'm hoping he has a plan for us. Wish he'd talk to me, but I'll wait. 🙂
MrsMeow, thanks for your Valentine's thoughts for us. I hope MrMeow has your own very special Valentine message for you, but I sense you don't need a specific day for words of adoration!
You know. I've come to realise my desire for a cat is for unconditional love, I want love , hugs, total adoration to me every day for the rest of my life, marriage, the works.
Never had this in adult life, but the man in my life may not want the same with me.
What to do!! I've known him a few months before my bc diagnosis, he's kind, caring, texts a lot, won't walk away now, but what if he leaves once I'm "cured"', so he can feel better about not leaving whilst I'm ill. What if it's all in my head? I don't want to scare him away. We've still so much to learn about each other. Properly talk and share, and not just about bc.
He's been married before, divorced 10 years now I think. He's 47 this year I think. I will be 49 this year. We neither of us have kids. He still could though! Just not with me of course.
I'm so scared I'm into it more than he is. I need him more than I wanted to. Is that love?
Ck, You're so giving and lovely. Really nice of you to share all your good deeds with us. Puts me to shame, I'm a giver more than a doer I guess. And my house refurb is good. Bedroom is done, in terms of sparkly mirrored furniture, sparkly accessories and artificial plants, (I can't handle real plants, they all fail to live long).
The rest of my house is great. Infrastructure stuff such as orangery extension to wait for my family to help me with quotes, maybe in summer or sale. Chemo brain is stopping me doing anything major. I do want to attend a moving forward after cancer course, I need it to get myself centred, as am a mass of different emotions on different hours of different days. Tearful, exhilarated, scared, confident. And the man in my life is lovely, and I need assurances from him that I don't know if I should ask for. My requirements are that I really want a loyal, tight, cherishing relationship, but what if he's worried about my cancer returning in a year or so, and being alone if all goes wrong.. can a woman with cancer in her past expect a new future without her man wondering about his own life.
Oh wow, Cathy, how lovely!! That's such a surprise 2 weeks ahead..! I bet your eyebrows would have shot up your forehead if you had drawn them on, but in your natural strong post cancer state, what better way than for you to celebrate. Age 40 awaits you. Life begins at 40. Enjoy!!
fairydust, hope you are still enjoying your food.
Turns out there were two birthday parties this weekend! I was surprised with a 40th birthday pub meal with all the family last night. I had no idea. It's still two weeks till my birthday and I've not really thought about it with all that's going on. I though we were going to my sisters for takeaway. I hadn't drawn on my eyebrows or changed out of my muddy dog walking clothes, ha ha. It was such a nice surprise!
Glad you got back safe from another rads session MrsMeow, you and MrMeow are so strong. Your podcast recommendations sound fab. I've never done podcasts much. I'll look into them. Thanks! I am an Archers listener though..sometimes a little weird storyline though..
I have listened to Rumpole of the Bailey stories on radio 4 ...very old fashioned legal dramas, but interesting. I like legal legal thrillers, but then I like most things except horror.
Cathy, enjoy your journey oop north, and the party. Party hats and poppers and pass the parcel...rather you than me...but it will be mega fun I'm sure!!
I can't believe that I still have taste buds although they are changing a bit...bit of a furry warm mouth sensation creeping up on me. Blaaagh so I am indeed eating while I can still taste. Spaghetti Bolognese tonight. But lots of cold drinks and cold fruit too.
Enjoy your evening!!
Hi MrsMeow, steady as you go...thinking of you..do you have a rads playlist in your car, or is it radio. I love radio 2 and radio 4 but not so much radio 1 these days.
Hi Cathy, hi Jo, thanks for asking. Wow, I feel so different this time. Felt bad earlier today admittedly, flu like symptoms, and still bone pain from injections, but right now am eating hot buttered toast and drinking ribena, as am ravenous. I couldn't do that last time. I can only take it one day at a time, but so far so good. See how tomorrow goes!
Hope you are ok.