September 2018 Chemo Starters.

[Dawn_BCN]

Hello you lovely lot! 

So good to hear from you all. 

Gaby, I hope you're enjoying Italy. I'm sorry your husband is low - it does have a way of catching up with you when you least expect it. I think the best way forward is to talk to him and keep talking to him. I found that helped with Eve and Stuart. It must be so difficult for our loved ones.

Lisa - that's fab news re your wig. I bet you're rocking your hair now. Mine is wavy and darker. I kinda like it, altho I have no control over it! I hope your house move went well. I think it's perfectly normal to have fears re aches and pains. I'm just the same! 

Aley - I'm not surprised you walked out of the talk. I'm sorry you had to endure misdiagnosis and all that terrible stress you must have gone through. What are you thinking about re work then? New career or volunteering or something else entirely?

I'm currently in Tenerife. I have another glorious 12 days here and I'm loving it. We're in the middle of no where, up a mountain and the drive up to the house is scary as hell. It's beautiful tho and we have an indoor pool that I'm using to it's full advantage! It just feels nice being warm, sat in the shade and thinking about what a roller-coaster ride this last year has been. It's so good to see Eve and Stu having fun in the pool and us all just relaxing with no appointments to go to. 

I'm still having Herceptin til end of Dec and they started me on 6 monthly infusions of Zometa (zoledronic acid). 

The Younger Women Together conference I went to was amazing and really changed my outlook for the better. I'm definitely coping better with everything. I even had secured a volunteer role with Breast Cancer Care as a Moving Forward course volunteer. I start my induction/training next month in Sheffield. I'm so excited to start it. 

Right, I'd best try and sleep. It's so fecking warm. Least I can't tell if I'm having a hot flush anymore! 🤣

Lots of love to you all and I'll try really hard to be active on the site and keep in touch. 

Love D xxxx

[Aley]

Hi Gabby F, Lisa T, and all the lovely ladies on here. I hope you're all doing okay.  sorry to hear that your husband is feeling a bit low Gaby F, hopefully things will improve in the fullness of time. Ditching the wig felt so liberating for me Lisa-T..how are you managing? My hair is somewhere between a birds nest & a swirly wire wool 🤪🥴

Re work: I'm still unsure about returning to work..still leaning towards not but what else to do is a big question..

Re:’the new normal’..I’m getting a lot of discomfort on my BC side with bad numbness that extends to my finger tips. I’ll pop back to the Breast Institute when I get a bit of breathing space..all my energy is going into summer holiday entertainment for my 5 year old!

I did the moving forward course in July-fantastic up until the 3rd week when the now retired Gp who misdiagnosed my BC did a talk on the menopause..I walked out! I don’t know about moving forward that 5 minutes put me back by a year & opened up a box I’d closed for the duration of treatment. 😞

Anyway I hope we’ll check in with each other from time to time. Lots of love 💖

[Lisa-T]

Hi Gaby,

Yes I still check in now and again - it’s lovely to hear from you. Well done on finishing treatment ❤️ Enjoy Italy - sounds amazing and just what you need. 

My husband seems to be doing ok - it’s probably more me who has had a bit of a dip! Hopefully the holiday will help him move on a bit - I think everything catches up with you when you stop and you realise just how much you’ve been through. I can’t seem to get past worrying over every little ache and pain! I thought being busy moving house would help but if anything it’s made me worry more about my health 🙄

I’ve finally ditched the wig too. 

Its raining here so hope you have lots of sunshine 😎 

love and hugs, Lisa xxx

[GabyF]

Hi lovely ladies,

Don't know if any of you are still checking this thread. I haven't for weeks, which must be a good sign?! I've finished all my treatment and have been given the 'all clear' plus a low chance of recurrance. I hope you're all doing well?

We're currently on holiday in Italy which is lovely after such a rubbish year. However, it's the first time my husband has really stopped since last September and I think things are catching up with him. He's feeling very low 😥. Anyone else's partner going through anything similar?

Much love to you all. 

Gaby 🥰

[Lisa-T]

Hope everyone is doing well?

Aley, how you doing with rads so far? Hope you are ok ❤️  

Dawn, how was the conference - did you enjoy it? Hope you get sorted with your bad headaches ❤️ Always seems to take ages waiting for results - hope you aren’t waiting too long. My bc nurse said they would chase mammogram results up to save waiting too long. Not sure if they all will do that - maybe worth asking yours tho. She also said not to be alarmed if they ask you back for further tests as can sometimes do that on your first mammogram 😬 

Gaby / Pulapula, Have you finished rads now 🔔🔔🔔🥂🎉 

Thanks Jacqs - will mention it to my bc nurse next week. 

Going to get my hair coloured next week - hoping it will make a huge difference to how I feel about my hair (maybe I’m expecting too much 😂) Hoping to ditch the wig after that 🤞Has anyone else had theirs coloured yet?

Just seen that that there is a Cancer Research Shine Night Walk in Newcastle on 12th October. I’m thinking of doing it - just wondered if anyone else was signing up. 10k walk is just about my limit - I don’t run 😂 

Big hugs ❤️ Lisa xx

[Jacqs]

Hi Dawn,

Hope your conference went well today. 

I started zoledronic acid injections at the end of Jan.  Once every 6 months for next 3-5 years.  They sound scary, but my onc reckons the pros far outweigh the cons.  I didn’t feel any adverse effects after my 1st treatment, apart from the aches and pains I was getting, but to be honest everyone seems to have had some aches etc, so not sure if that was par for the course anyway & maybe still because of the vitamin d deficiency. 

Sometimes still find it all a bit daunting & to some extent just trying to go with it in hope that it’ll all be ok in the end.

Have a great weekend. Sending a big hug your way 😘 

[Dawn_BCN]

Hi everyone

I'm in Sheffield ready for the conference tomorrow. I'm trying not to be anxious about it. It's strange being on my own. I've got used to Stu coming everywhere with me! 

How is everyone? 

I had my mammogram on Monday. It was OK and I'll hear in a couple of weeks. Just hope it's clear. Been getting bad headaches so oncology are sending me for a ct scan on my head. It's purely precautionary cos I am fine. Think it's the Letrozole side effects really. 

I've felt crappy last couple of weeks so I've not been at work or done much. Seeing my oncology nurse on Monday. Think she's putting me on zoledronic acid injections next...anyone else on these?! 

I'll let you know how I get on with this conference next 2 days. 

Thanks for all the love. Hope everyone is keeping well. 

Lots of love xxxx

[Jacqs]

Hi Lisa,

I mentioned aches & pains to bc nurse when I was having my 3 monthly check up, so she organised blood tests.  I had previously told my gp about all aches n pains, but he just said it was to be expected - when blood test results came back he prescribed vitamin d3 500mcg. Still have lot stiffness in my hands when I wake each day, but most of the others have eased hugely.

Definitely worth asking to get all vitamin levels checked, then hopefully you can find right solution.  Good luck with the decluttering.

Drains removed today - such a relief.

I’ve got another appointment in 2 weeks to have more fluid put into my expander, then it has to be left for 3 months until the skin is fully stretched before they’ll do last operation - it’s looking like it will be end September, after my holiday. 

😘 

[Aley]

Hi

Thanks Lisa-T! Omg I’ve had a clear out as well! Feels very cleansing! A lot has changed for me. I feel strangely empowered and positive even though I’ve no idea what the future holds especially work wise. All I know is that big changes are afoot! 

Not looking forward to rads, thanks for the advice everyone! Think it’s the thought of going everyday, waiting around and that not very attractive blue zippy coat they’ve given me 🤣. Anyway the end is in sight..

love to you all xx

[Lisa-T]

Hi ladies,

Dawn, Hope you got on ok with your mammogram today ❤️ Good luck with your conference this week - sounds really interesting - let us know how you get on.

Gaby, you are nearly there - fantastic. Ring that bell loud and proud on Wednesday 💪🏻❤️ 

Jacqs, pleased you have got sorted with your aches and pains. Did you go to doctors about it? I seem to have more aches now especially in my fingers and toes ... will mention to oncologist as have appointment on 26th. Good luck with getting your drain removed tomorrow ❤️ 

Aley, Good luck with starting rads on Thursday - they will be over before you know it. Rads are the easy bit just make sure you drink plenty of fluids and slap on the cream ❤️ 

Pulapula, hope you have been busy celebrating finishing rads. Well done on ditching the wig - I still haven’t braved it yet. Maybe next month 🤔

I’m in the middle of decluttering ... it’s amazing how much stuff I have kept (some still in the original packing boxes from the last time we moved 11 years ago 🙈) ... rejection letters from jobs I had applied for after uni,  coursework / past papers even high school work 😂 ... all going! 

Hope you all have a lovely evening xx

[Jacqs]

Hi Everyone,

Aley - good luck for Thursday & well done on starting your exercise class.  I can’t seem to get back into fitness & now need to give it more time till surgery scars are healed. 

Gaby - I bet Wednesday can’t come soon enough.  I was suffering from aching joints, muscles & bones until recently.  Blood tests showed a vitamin d deficiency so after a prescription for some really strong vit d tablets i’m already feeling much better after 2 weeks.  I had been taking daily vit d from chemists, but was prescribed one a little stronger that I only take twice a week.  

Well Tuesday is day to have drain removed & I can’t wait.  Hoping I can then get out & about a little more again.  

Love to you all xx

[GabyF]

Hi lovely ladies, 

I've been a bit quiet here, mainly because I seem to be spending my days travelling to and from hospital and waiting around for my rads 😒. I've got my last one next Wednesday and can't wait. It will be so nice not to have my days ruled by medical appointments!

Aley: the treatment itself is fine. What seems to take the time is positioning me correctly, plus the imaging which they have to do once a week. I've been getting a bit more tired and am a bit pink and itchy now, but I'm slapping on loads of E45 and that's definitely helping 😉. Compared with chemo, this is easy - but very boring 😝

Lisa and LittlePixie: you both look fabulous 😍.

Jacqs: so glad to hear that things are looking up 😍.

Incidentally, don't know if any of have aching joints? I've been taking Omega 3 oil (yuk 😜) and probiotics which really seem to be helping. Am also having a blood test for Vitamin D and have been referred for (free) yoga sessions by my physio!

Gxx

[Aley]

Hi everyone 

great to hear all your updates. Yes really lovely pics, my hair is coming back too and I’m now wigless, summer hats most of the time tho. It felt very strange at first but I actually feel empowered now. That might sound a bit strange. I’ve started an exercise group for people recovering after cancer, it’s excellent and has given me the confidence back to exercise. My rads start next Thursday ALittlepixie, thanks for thinking of me..😘 My love to you all xx

[Jacqs]

So nice to hear what everyone is up to.

Lisa - your holiday pic looks fab as does your hair.  With that kilowatt smile, you can totally rock the short hair!  A day at the races sounds great.  Only did it once & it was a superb day out.  Have fun.  

Hey Dawn - again loving the pics.  I admit I have not had any pictures taken since chemo started. Will have to remedy that soon.  Yes am feeling much better thanks.  Had check up yesterday at hospital as i’d Had quite lot pain over weekend, but all was ok & it’s subsided now so feeling much brighter.  Bruises are colourful and still have drain in until Tuesday but otherwise good.  I haven’t yet planned outfit for graduation, but did buy new pair shoes as a start.  I need to get boob pumped up a little so they look a bit more balanced before I start trying anything on & i’m dreading how chunky i’ve got.

I hope you enjoy your course. It is still early days getting over everything that’s happened & not surprising your having down days.  Sending you a massive hug xxx

Paula - roll on Friday.  Will be listening out for that bell 🔔 🔔 🔔 

It was 12 months on Monday since I got my diagnosis & what a year it’s been.  I just hope for each & every one of us on here that the next 12 months are positive and that we muster the courage to start ignoring those little jabbing pains that appear and start living again.  Sending you all love & hugs xxx

[Lisa-T]

Hi ladies,

Dawn, ahh don’t be worried about depressing anyone - feel free to offload on here anytime you want ❤️ It’s the one place you don’t need to put on a brave face. We all seem to have had a bit of a dip over the last few weeks so at least we must all be normal 🤪 It’s a year since my diagnosis on the 12th and feel like I should do something - not sure what! We’ve all been through so much and come a long way over the last year - should celebrate that in some way 🥂 

Fantastic photos - you look amazing and your hair has come through loads since your last photo - definitely going to order some Grow Gorgeous 🥰

Did you have a nice trip away? 

I’ve put on weight too which doesn’t help - I’ve also managed to put on 7lb on holiday - I’m blaming the prosecco 🙈 Malta was fab tho - not sure we would go back again but it was very relaxing. Couple of rainy days but mainly sunny and I didn’t suffer too much with hot flushes 😎 

Pulapula, great news on finishing your rads on Friday - whoo hoo 🥂🎉 hope you will be celebrating 🥳🛎 

Hope everyone has a lovely evening.

Lots of love xx

[Dawn_BCN]

Hi Paula

It's so nice hearing from you and fab that your rads are over on Friday. They do make you very tired so go gentle with yourself. 

I think it must be such a liberating feeling ditching the wig. I never got one and just opted for the bald look. I didn't mind it. I use Grow Gorgeous "back into the roots" for my hair. Honestly, it's like I put fertiliser on it...it's grown back much thicker and lush. I am keeping mine very short tho cos its just easier and quicker to sort nowadays. I buy mine through Look Fantastic website as it seems the best price. Take care of yourself and ring that bell loud on Friday....I wanna hear it in Cumbria 🔔😁

Love x

[Pulapula]

Hi ladies,

I haven’t checked in for a while but thought I’d see how you all are. Good to see some of you getting on with life and fun things. 

Im getting giddy at the thought of finishing rads on Friday and ringing that bell. I’ve found rads more tiring than expected and it’s not the travelling as I’m only 3 miles from my hospital. Not too sore though but do have some stabbing pains now and again in the breast being treated. And soreness along my scar line. 

Still waiting for some proper hair growth but I’ve ditched the wig for a cap as it was too hot - and I don’t care if my skinhead shocks people 🙂 do those products to encourage hair growth really work? Might need to try one if anyone can recommend. 

[Dawn_BCN]

Managed to have a fire on the beach with friends a couple of weeks ago too. This pic made me smile so I thought I'd share it with u all. It's the little things in life that we have to hold on to nowadays xMe and my lovely friend

[Dawn_BCN]

Evening all

What a gorgeous picture Lisa. You're looking great and look at all that hair now. It looks brilliant!

Ladies day at Newcastle races sounds like fun and its good you're going to 'Where Now' too. I also have my mammogram booked for next Monday, so I know just how you feel. So, how was Malta? Was it lovely and warm? How did you manage with the hot flushes?

Jacqs - how are you doing now? You've really been through the mill so to speak. Are you still on the antibiotics? How's your stomach and boobs feeling now? I hope they're settling down. That's fab news 're Harriet. Bet you can't wait to watch her graduate. Good news about the 'Moving forward' course. I found it helpful just speaking to people feeling the same way as me.

Gaby - have you finished your rads now? Hope you're getting on ok. Keep resting and moisturising.

Aley - have you started your rads yet? I know you'd been waiting to hear.

I've been very up and down lately, hence why I've not been on here much. Didn't want to depress you all! I just have days where I'm really low and I burst into tears. I try and put on a brave face, but some days are just hard. I keep waking up in pain too. I'm not sure if it's the radiotherapy aftereffects or the letroxole. Probably a combination. Plus, I've put on so much weight and no amount of healthy eating is helping me lose it and I'm too sodding tired to exercise like i need to. Sorry...I'm trying not to moan! Heyho. It'll be reet. I am doing something exciting next week, although I'm anxious about it too. I'm going to a Younger Women Together conference for 2 days in Sheffield. It's run by BreastCancerCare and it's aimed at women under 45 who've gone through a Breast cancer diagnosis. It sounded really interesting and Sheffielspd was the nearest to me in the North. I'm nervous cos I'm off on my own, but I really hope I'll get a lot out of it. I'll let you know how I get on.

I took my Eve to watch Olly Murs on Friday in Manchester. She loved it. It was her treat for being

an incredible support during my chemo.

Right, I'm gonna try and sleep.

Love to everyone xxxx

 Me walking last month when I actually had some energy!

[Lisa-T]

Hi ladies,

Jacqs, pleased you are back at home now - hope you are taking it easy and recovering well ❤️

I have also put my name down for a Moving Forward course (it’s called ‘where now’ but presume it’s a similar thing) although there isn’t one till September now. Think it will help tho and as you say give some closure! I’m still stressing about all the aches 🤪  Got my mammogram booked for end of June so I’m stressing about that too ha ha! 

Fantastic news about Harriet’s graduation - hope you have a new outfit to celebrate 😎 I’ve just booked to go to ladies day at Newcastle Races in July - I’ve never been before and don’t know anything about racing but it’s a chance to get dressed up so what the heck! 

I had a lovely week in Malta, back at work today tho and it already feels like a distant memory 😞 Just what we all needed and it was so lovely not to wear my wig at all! Need to ditch it soon - I’m hoping once I can colour it I will be a bit happier 🤔

Loved seeing these smiles ❤️

Hope everyone is doing well - we’ve all gone a bit quiet.

Love to you all xx

[Jacqs]

Hello Ladies,

Thank you all for your kind wishes.  Hello again Kip & thanks to you too.

I’m home again after 3 nights in casa NHS.  Food hasn’t improved & I had the ward entirely to myself as all the other ladies were discharged the same day.  I had to stay because they put me on a heavy duty antibiotic by drip as a precaution.  I’m now on oral antibiotics for a further week.

  I didn’t have a new implant.  Had to have an expander put in because the skin needs to be stretched before they can put in implant.  They’ll pump in saline solution every 2 weeks until it’s there, then hopefully next op in about 3 months will be final one.

Back to having a drain in for 2 weeks and i had some liposuction from my tummy to put some fat into both boobs to stabilise them, so also have very sore & swollen tummy as well as discomfort around boobs. It feels like i’ve gone full circle because it all started with double mastectomy at the end of June last year but at least no chemo now & hopefully a quicker recovery.

How are the rads going Gaby - do you many sessions left?

Lisa, & Little Pixiie & Aley How are you all?

i have booked onto a Moving Forward course starting in July.  I’m hoping it will give a little closure.

Well I’ve got hubby home for a week & Harriet is home till tomorrow then she’s off back to Nottingham to celebrate the end of her finals, then it’s graduation in July.  Wow - last 4 years has gone in a flash.  

Hope you’ve all had lovely relaxing weekend - shame it’s not been little brighter weather.

love to you all xxx

[Dawn_BCN]

Hi everyone Just a quickie to say hi and hope Jacqs is OK after the op. Hope ur rads went well today Gaby. Hi Lisa! Hi Aley! I'll msg longer tmoz and catch up with you all. Lots of love xxx

[Dawn_BCN]

Hi everyone Just a quickie to say hi and hope Jacqs is OK after the op. Hope ur rads went well today Gaby. Hi Lisa! I'll msg longer tmoz and catch up with you all. Lots of love xxx

[GabyF]

Hi Jacqs, I'm at Guy's just waiting for today's radiotherapy, so just a quick message to say good luck for the op! 🍀👍😘 I'll be thinking of you! Hope the food isn't too awful 😉😬. Gxx 😍

[Kip]

Hi Ladies, just wishing you good luck with the op Jacqs and wanted to say, its all normal to feel slightly up and down about things, moving on is very difficult especially when some of you still have parts of treatment outstanding. I think the idea of a Grown Up Gap Year is fabulous.. bloomin' eck we all deserve one! Keep on keeping on.. big hugs to all Love Kip xx

[Lisa-T]

Good luck for today Jacqs ❤️ will be thinking of you ... nearly there 🎉🥂 make sure you take it easy 💪🏻❤️😘 xx

[Jacqs]

Hi All,

hope everyone is preparing for a lovely bank holiday weekend.  

Lisa - I hope you’ve had a lovely holiday. 

Well I am in hospital waiting my operation.  My echo scan didn’t show any major concerns - something about rate of blood being pumped being ever so slightly low but not major.  Will have to have couple follow up appointments at later date, but for now boob op happening.

surgeon is not sure if it’ll be straight forward reconstruction or if i’ll Have to have expander put in, then another op in 2/3 months time.  Will find out later today.

i’ll be Spending bank holiday weekend here.  CAn’t say i’m Looking forward to it, especially the food, but am keeping my fingers crossed it’s all nearly over.

i am feeling much calmer at the moment.  Let’s hope that feeling continues. Xxx

[GabyF]

Hi you wonderful ladies, 

I was so relieved when I read all your messages. To know that I'm not the only one who is feeling a bit low was just such a relief. Thank you 😍

Lisa: I'm sure your holiday will help. I can't remember where you're going, memory is still awful 😕. But time away from work and some relaxation will do you good, I'm sure. I'm partly relieved about work, but also a bit sad and apprehensive. I enjoyed my job (when I wasn't stressed 🙃) and am now going to have to find other interesting things to do, which is exciting but also scary. Anyway, I'm not going to start anything until September, when we're back from holiday.

Aley: I really liked your idea of a grown up gap year. ☺️ Time to try out new things! And I might follow your lead and speak to someone at Maggie's. Like you, I've used food and especially biscuits to get me through treatment 😅. So I've cut all sweet stuff out during the week, but am allowing myself a couple of biscuits at weekends.

Jacqs: gosh, you really have got a lot to cope with 😕 😍 and I hope your doctors can do something to sort things out soon. I had a few meltdowns yesterday and felt very emotional. I'm especially confused about this, as I felt quite strong during much of my treatment. Hang in there, Jacqs, we'll get through all this rubbish eventually 💪😘.

Gx

[Jacqs]

Hello Ladies,

Must be something in the air at the moment with everyone feeling a little down.  I got a date for my op of next Fri and had to go for a pre-op yesterday.  They’re still very concerned about my heart rate which doesn’t seem to be coming down and my liver count still not improving.  My heart scan has been brought forward to next Wed & results of this will decide if i’m allowed to have breast op or not. Had further blood tests to check out my liver too.

Have to say I had a mini meltdown on getting back to the car.  And to top it all off, i’ve got horrific cold and sore throat which is now turning into chesty cough.  Will there ever be an end to this **bleep**....

I totally understand how you feel Gaby - it’s something that won’t ever go away completely.

I received lots of birthday wishes with people asking if I was feeling better now.  Wish it was that simple!

Well, I hope everyone has a good weekend & hopefully this phase of the blues will pass.  

Sending lots of love to you all.  Xxx

[Aley]

Hi everyone

Good to hear your news ladies. I'm seeing my oncologist on Tuesday and will hopefully know more about when my radiotherapy is going to start. I've been a bit down lately as my wound has still not healed in one place. I've piled on about a stone and discovered I have very high cholesterol!! So time to take some action! Food has been a bit of a crutch for me throughout treatment. I'm starting a cancer rehabilitation class Monday and Fridays next week. So brave of you Gaby Im in exactly the same situation, crunch time for me do I go back or not? Life has changed forever and I'm questioning so many things..I went to Maggie's last week to chat it through with someone...I feel so confused about where now but one thing is for sure I can't go back to what I was doing before! A grown up gap year really appeals at the mo. Anyone else considered anything like this? 

How exciting going on holiday Lisa T..think we're having family over and heading to my parents later in the week.

Anyway have a great weekend all xx

[Lisa-T]

Hi ladies,

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. It’s miserable and wet in Northumberland today - where has all the lovely sunshine gone 😞 

Ahh Gaby, I’m completely feeling the same as you ... not sure if it’s because I’m coming up to a year since diagnosis or just everything is getting too much but I’m quite emotional at the moment. The ‘what if it comes back’ and all the aches are they something or nothing is driving me crazy! When I mentioned to my husband how I was feeling he said ‘I just had to get on with it and move on’ 🙄🤬. He really doesn’t have a clue!! 

Trying to distract myself with my holiday - we go a week today 😎 Going shopping later to get organised so hopefully a bit of retail therapy will help. 

Well done on seeing your employer and discussing not returning to work - must be a big relief. It’s so exciting that you can think about starting a new adventure. 

Your rads will will be over before you know - you are nearly there ❤️💪🏻 Keep slapping the cream on.

Sending lots of love ❤️ Lisa xx

[GabyF]

Hi lovely ladies,

Just wondering how everyone is doing? It's been very quiet here lately...

Jacqs: belated Happy Birthday! Hope you had a lovely day. 

I've had 3 rads now and so far so good. I've got some slight tingling, but slapping on lots of E45 seems to help. Am also very thirsty and sleepy afterwards , but nothing a glass of water and a cup of tea can't sort.

I met with my employer today and told her that I won't be returning to work. I was very apprehensive, partly because I thought I might burst in to tears (I didn't ) and partly because I thought she would be very upset. But actually, she had half been expecting it and was just lovely. I feel so relieved to have got this over and done with and now feel that I can relax and start to think about a (different) future. Who knows what I will do, but at least I have taken this first step.

My mum said to me on the phone the other day "you can soon forget about all this" and I just blurted out "I'll never be able to forget that I've had cancer!". Afterwards I felt a bit bad, as she was very apologetic and I know she didn't mean to upset me, but really, I doubt I will ever be able to forget this past year, even if the cancer doesn't return (and actually, my oncologist has been very positive about that). Somewhere at the back of my mind will, I am sure, always be that worry, what if...  What's more, I really hope that all the small aches and pains which I still seem to have and which sometimes make me feel like an old lady start to disappear soon. Don't want that sort of reminder either. Sorry, that's a rather miserable end to my post, but I just had to get this off my chest, as it's been bothering me!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

Gxx

[Jacqs]

Hi All,

Got appointments for cardiology dept.  13 June for 24 hour heart monitor, then 2 July for heart scan.  They did warn me it would be slow to get seen, but at least they are booked in.  

No news on the breast op - not sure they’ll still do it if my heart rate stays high??

 Gaby - good luck for next week. 15th is my birthday. Will be sending you positive thoughts x

Hope everyone enjoyed bank holiday weekend.  

Jacqs x

[Lisa-T]

Hi Gaby,

Good luck for the 15th - not long to wait now. It will soon be over - great news ❤️. Interested to hear that the hospital said to avoid processed meats - I asked about diet and was just told to be healthy 🙄 not very helpful!

Pleased I’m not the only one with messy children 🙈 I’m sure I never used to be that messy when I was younger 😉😂

Hope you all have a lovely bank holiday weekend

❤️ Lisa xx 

[GabyF]

Hi lovely ladies, 

I saw my oncologist on Tuesday and she's putting everything in place for rads to start on the 15th. As I am triple negative I will get a bonus week, lucky me 🤣, and will have 20 treatments. But at least that will be it - roll on a treatment-free summer!

LittlePixie: that ham looks very tasty 😋 and is presumably nitrate free?! I've just been to a talk at the hospital about diet etc and got dire warnings about processed meat and nitrates. 😬 Maybe papier-mache is the way to go!? 😁 Have a lovely anniversary weekend and congratulations 😍🤩!

Lisa: so glad to hear that your girls are messy 😉. My 18 year old's bedroom is a health hazard and although my 12 year old's looks slightly better, his room has some very dark corners that I wouldn't want to investigate too closely 😂! My daughter has just started her A Levels this week and has promised to have a clear-out once she's got through all her exams, but I'm not holding my breath on that one 😜.

Jacqs: I hope you're feeling a bit better now and that they can see to your heart asap. ❤️ You/we've been through so much this past year, I suppose it's not surprising that our bodies are protesting. It's great that you can dip in and out of work, as and when you feel up to it.

I'm going to potter about in the garden for a bit now. Just some light weeding (plenty of those around 😄) in the sun.

Gaby x

[Lisa-T]

Hi ladies,

Jacqs, Was thinking you’d been waiting a while for your op 🙈 brain isn’t switched on sometimes 🤪 Sounds like you’ve had a very busy day at the hospital! Hopefully you won’t be waiting too long for your appointment - it’s good that they are checking it out. Make sure you take it easy ❤️

Ahh yes you are not far at all from my Mum - Croston is lovely 😊

ALittlePixie, Ahh wow - I wouldn’t know where to start with the footstool or papier-mâché ham. Would love to be a bit more creative - must be very satisfying. 

I’d forgotten how annoying the whole process of selling a house is and I’ve only had one viewing 😂 Doesn’t help having 3 extremely messy girls to contend with. 

Ooh where in Northumberland are you going? What a lovely surprise. I definitely need to start planning a few more nights out - need to make up for the last year!

Have a good evening everyone ❤️ Hugs xx

[Jacqs]

Lovely to hear from you too.  I think I must have posted at same time as you. - was at hospital for nearly 7 hours with suspected blood clot.  After ultrasound, blood tests, ecg etc, blood cloth was ruled out but I have to see. Cardiologist and have heart echo because my heart rate is too high and even after giving me beta blockers it took quite a while for it to start coming down again.  All ok on boob front though!

French boyfriend was soooo quiet.  I think he was freaked out at idea of meeting Harriet’s dad who is tall & dark, but not in least bit intimidating. We’re seeing him again in July at graduation, so hoping he’s gotten over his initial shyness & we can get to know him a little better.  

Sounds like great plan for your anniversary. Hope you have a fab time.

our anniversary is in September & we’ll be in St Ives Cornwall - there’s an arts and music festival on when we’re there, so looking forward to it.  Just hoping to have op & all other stuff sorted by then.

Also going to see mark knopfler at end of May in Manchester.  

Enjoy working on your new footstool. It must be so satisfying doing that kind of thing.  I used to work for a leather furniture manufacturer & loved the upholstering and antiquing dept.  Maybe was smell of leather but loved it.

Take care my lovely xx

[Dawn_BCN]

There you go Gaby! A pic of my paper mache ham for the table display at work! X

[Dawn_BCN]

Evening!

So nice to hear from you Jacqs! It sounds like you had a lovely and busy Easter. It must have been nice spending time with your stepdaughter. How was the french boyfriend then? What type of op will they be doing on you? I really hope you had a good meeting with your bc team today.

Lisa - it's funny how time files. My diagnosis was June 22nd...I still can't get my head round that I'll need another mammogram soon. How's the house viewings going? I find moving so stressful...hope you sell yours soon so you can buy the house you really liked.

My wedding anniversary is next Friday so I've booked us back to the hotel where we got married up in Northumberland for the night. I've done it as a surprise so I'm looking forward to it. We've got 2 music gigs too this next month so that's something to look forward to.  I'm determined to plan nice things.

I've been working on another foot stool again today. We've managed to date it between 1720 - 1740 so it's been an interesting day. Oh, and my paper-mache ham turned out ok. I'll post pics!😀 

Hope Pulapula, Gaby, Aley and everyone else are well.

Sending lots of love xxxThe footstool I'm working on

[Jacqs]

Hi Lisa,

I’m not working full time yet. Hubby & I have our own business so have been able to just work as & when I feel like it although I did do near enough full time for 2 weeks before Easter.  Now that it’s quietened down, i’m back to doing odd days.

My op is to replace the implant I lost last year due to an infection.  I originally had a double mastectomy last June with reconstruction but got infections in both.  They managed to save the right one, but left one had to be removed.  

I saw the breast nurse today - most of aches and pains are normal but i’ve Just spent 7 hours in emergency dept.  Initially it was cause they suspected another blood cloth on my leg - I had a clot on my lungs mid way through chemo & just finished blood thinning injections about 5/6 weeks ago.  Have been getting severe cramp in one leg, so they wanted to check.  Turns out there are no signs of blood clots but they are concerned that my heart rate is too high still.  It has been a problem all way through treatment but it’s still. It come down.  They’ve done ecg etc today which was ok, but i’m now going to be referred for a heart echo?? & to see a cardiologist because they say that there must be an underlying reason & it’s feasible chemo has done some damage! It could be a month before I get that appointment though, so have to relax & take it easy again.  

We’re near Chorley - in Croston.  My family are all in Hartlepool - not quite as nice as Northumberland, but it’s beautiful here.  

Like you I do feel like i’ve Aged.  50 going on 90!  

It’s got to start getting better soon.

take care & have a great week xxx

[Lisa-T]

Morning ladies,

Jacqs, pleased you had a good Easter - weather was so lovely 😎 which makes a change! Are you working full time now? I’m coming up to 12 months too (in June) - it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster but we’ve done the hard bit 💪🏻❤️! That’s really frustrating that you have to wait for your op - have they said how long it could be? Will you have mastectomy or lumpectomy? 

Good luck with your bc team today - hopefully they will reassure you all your aches and pains are perfectly normal. I am still getting aches - feel like I’ve aged loads but my fitness does seem to be improving. 

Ahh how funny, whereabouts are you? My family live near Chorley but I live in small village in Northumberland (opposite way round to you 😜) 

Hope everyone has a good week 😎

love and hugs ❤️ Lisa xx

[Jacqs]

Hello Ladies,

I’ve just dropped back in to see how you’re all doing.  I’ve been working quite a lot over the last few weeks as we’ve been super busy making lots of Easter eggs.  My stepdaughter also came home over the Easter holidays & we got the chance to meet her French boyfriend for a few days.  It was so nice to enjoy the sunshine with family & friends.  

I’m still waiting for a date to have my op - there are a lot of new cases of bc in my local hospital & i’m on the waiting list to be seen as and when.  It’s totally understandable as it’s almost 12 months since this whole nightmare started for me, so just have to be patient till they can fit me in.

I have a check up with the bc team on Tuesday.  Still suffering from lots of aches and pains and ankles keep swelling, so will be good to hear if these things are normal & wondering how long it will all last?

Lisa - love your hair pics.  You look fab & definitely rock that short crop.  I’ve also gone without wig for last 2 weeks.  Once the sun appeared it was just too hot to keep wearing it & I got lots of positive comments. Funny you said you were visiting family in Lancashire - I live in Lancashire but my family are in the north east.  It is tough when your family are not close by especially after what we’ve been through in the last 10 months or so.  

A Little Pixie - sorry to hear about the osteopenia.  It’s tough trying to get your head around exercising again when your aching so much! Glad to hear your enjoying your time back at work - take it easy though.  

Aley - what a lovely image of your cancer sitting in a jar somewhere.  Good luck for the rads.

Gaby - fabulous to hear you are now cancer free and do hope the rads go well.  I’ve been using bio oil for a few weeks.  I didn’t like the feeling of massaging my scars to begin with but now do it daily & it’s helping. 

Well that’s it for me for now. Love & hugs to you all xx

[Lisa-T]

Good evening everyone,

Thanks for all your lovely comments 😘 I’ve not ditched the wig completely but it was reassuring and so lovely not to have to wear a wig even if it was just for a day.

ALittlePixie - I had a lovely time in Lancashire thanks although it does make me miss my family more when I go back as my Mum and both my sisters live down there. I would love it if they lived closer. 

I can’t believe how far we’ve come too. I know when we started chemo in September this seemed a long way off! We did it though and we should be extremely proud of ourselves ... we definitely rock! 

Great news that you’ve been back to work too - it’s so good to get back to some sense of normality but don’t rush things. 

House viewing went really well ... I love it in fact ... but trying not to get my hopes up as I need to sell mine first. Had first viewing on our house today but they haven’t even got theirs on the market! 🙄

Good luck with the decorating - I find painting quite therapeutic too although I’m not the neatest 😂

Sorry to hear about your osteopenia diagnosis ... it can all feel never ending at times ❤️💪🏻 Xx

Aley - fantastic news 🥂🎉 Hope you have been celebrating and toasting that blasted 💩 in a jar .. what a great image!! So pleased for you 💪🏻❤️ Radiotherapy is a breeze compared to chemo ... you are nearly there 😘  

Gaby - pleased you had a lovely Easter - it’s so nice to enjoy a bit of sunshine. Well done on embracing your stubble 😍 I wish I could as I’m getting sick of the wig but will wait just a bit longer. 

I’ve not tried bio oil either so please let me know if you find it helps. 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend 🥰 love and hugs xx

[Dawn_BCN]

Good morning!

How's everyone doing today? 

Aley - that is brilliant news about your surgery and you've got good clear margins. Onwards and upwards for radiotherapy now. It's lovely you've had such a nice Easter break with your parents. My mum is 84 and drives me nuts when she stays with us, so I understand 😉 We wouldn't do without them tho 😊. It's so great they've been looking after and spoiling you.

Gaby - your Easter sounds great with all the family. 'French cricket' sounds brilliant fun...I like the thought of you soaking up the rays whilst they all ran around..were you the umpire in a sun hat? 😁 I'm happy to hear you've ditched the hat and embracing your hair. It gives me confidence weirdly and I'm sure yours will too. I'm not surprised you've had compliments because it looks great and suits you. I've not tried bio oil on my scar, but it can't hurt to give it a try. I've only heard good things about it. The tingling and stinging will calm down too, it's just all your internal healing doing its magic.

Lisa - I meant to ask..how was the house viewing you went to? Any good?

We've started decorating! Just started on the bathroom at the moment. I'm finding the painting bit quite therapeutic actually and finding myself able to switch off.

The gp phoned me last night with my bone scan results. It shows that I have osteopenia in my lower spine now. It's like the gift that keeps giving! I need to start doing some more weight bearing exercise to help strengthen my bones. Looks like I'm starting back at the gym if I can muster enough energy!😅

Right you lovely lot, take care and enjoy your weekend whatever you're doing. I'm working a wedding up at the castle for a few hours, so it should be nice.

Lots of love x

[GabyF]

Hi lovely ladies, 

We had a lovely and rather lazy Easter in the Midlands, me sitting in the garden while the teenagers and various uncles and aunts played 'French cricket' (I think this is a family invention!? It very energetic and everyone gets very competitive about it 😂). It was so lovely to soak up all that fantastic sunshine 🌞 and to see everyone so relaxed. 

Lisa: you look absolutely gorgeous in that photo! 🤩 And you've got loads of hair, definitely cool 👍. I've decided to ditch all my hats and embrace my stubble. I've just had enough of covering up. Much to my surprise I've had quite a few compliments and only the odd puzzled look from strangers. 😜

LittlePixie: you sound so happy 😍. How lovely you're managing to do a bit of work again and a footstool sounds very manageable. But don't overdo it!

Aley: that's fantastic news!👏🎉😍 I agree, that image of the cancer in a jar is great 😄. I'm seeing my oncologist in 2 weeks and am hoping to start radiotherapy by mid May. The side effects sound manageable compared with chemo - we can do this last bit 💪. 

My scars are healing well now, still have some tingling and stinging occasionally, but nothing too awful. Just wondering, has anyone tried using bio oil on their scars? A friend has recommended and the reviews I've seen seem good. 

Love and hugs to you all. 

Gaby xx

[Aley]

Hi

had a lovely Easter break too! Didn’t go away but had my parents staying with us 🤪A bit testing at times😒but felt so grateful for their help. My dad did loads of gardening (he’s 83 this year!) drove us around (my husband doesn’t drive) and all the hoovering. My mum is a brilliant cook so spoilt us with non stop tasty food!! I can’t believe how much my family have helped out when we’ve really needed them🙏🏽

So yes Saw the surgeon today ALittlepixie..It was good news-well it feels a little weird saying that when you’ve got (or should I say had?!) bc.. the tumour was removed with good clear margins and 5% active cancer so the chemo blasted 95% of it 💪🏽 as for nodes- I was really worried beforehand thinking the worst but 2 affected with a 3rd having scarring. I’m waiting to hear from oncologist re:radiotherapy now. 

I asked what my cancer status is now is it have or had-My bc nurse said had-your cancer is sitting in a jar in a lab somewhere in the hospital - I liked that image! 💪🏽

Great to hear about your work ALittlePixie the stool sounds really interesting. I’d be shattered too I think..

Lisa I love your hair too😘I can’t wait to go out without the wig- mines only just taken off so I’ll have to wait a few more weeks.

love to you all xx

[Dawn_BCN]

Evening ladies

Hope you're all keeping well and have had a great Easter break.

Gaby - that's fantastic news re your surgeon. I'm so chuffed you wont need more surgery. You must be relieved. Have they saud when your rads will start? How was the Midlands and your family? Did you do lots?

Aley - did you meet with your surgeon today? I hope it went well. I love my hair and I reckon we're all trendy!

Lisa - how was Lancashire? I'm so proud of you for braving the beach without your wig as I know you're still very nervous about it. You look awesome and have the same amount of hair as me. It's such a lovely pic of you both. Do you think this will boost your confidence to go without the wig a bit more now?

We had friends staying with us all weekend and it was brilliant. There was one evening where we sat round the fire in the garden singing along to the music playing. It was at that moment where I was so grateful to be through most of my treatment and happy to be alive surrounded by my most treasured people, that I teared up. I was just so happy. We've all come so far and done so amazingly well. I'm really proud of us all. I know there's a few of us on here still going thru the hell of chemo but there is a light in sight now for 'a new normal'.

I did my first proper day at work today. I've been working on a footstool from the early 1800's and it was so good to get back. I'm only doing 1 day a week and by the state of me tonight, I know it's enough. My body is aching so much, but it was definitely worth it. I had such a good day.

Sending love as always x

[Lisa-T]

Hope you all had a lovely Easter ladies 🐣 

I actually braved the beach without my wig 😎😱 (sand, heat and a wig not a good combo!) - it helped that I knew I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew - but still really pleased I did it. A no wig selfie had to be taken 😜 

[Lisa-T]

Ahh Gaby that is fantastic news - hope you have been celebrating 🥂🎉💪🏻 You definitely do rock it ❤️ Wish I could ditch my wig too - must be quite liberating. Will try in a few months.

Hope you have a lovely Easter with your family. I’m off to Lancashire today to see my family (and also pick up girls from my Mums). 

Enjoy the sunshine everyone 😎 xx

[Aley]

Awesome news GabyF..I think your hair rocks too! You know what- I was trying to see some positives in my head stubble that’s emerging! I was thinking the other day that it might actually look ‘trendy’ 🤭as I was thinking about when I’d be brave enough to go without the wig..are you fully out and about without it GabyF? 

Having a fab time in the midlands..I’ve got my meet with the surgeon Tuesday.. 😬 lots of love and enjoy the Easter weekend XX