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Starting Chemo in December.2012

Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Morning ladies,

Cybele - Yey to "normal stuff". I tried normal yesterday by going to country pub for sunday lunch. EVERYBODY in there had a cold or a cough. Virtual Howard Hughes kept whispering in my ear and spoiled all my fun.

Sand - Baileys should be on prescription. Jealous of halfway.

Alpal - "cancer is a fun sponge" is my quote of the day, possibly of the week, but it is only Monday.

Snow looks like it wants to spoil plans to drink coffee with Lolly. Sky and ground are the same snow colour here at the moment and forcast is for heavy snow from midday. I always laughed at nervous snow drivers before cancer, but now it seems cancer has run off with my cocky confidence and I am worried about sliding about on country roads whilst I have the concentration of a gnat.

xxx
Alpal
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

So this is how the side effect plan goes after FEC i've just discovered after round one: nothing for 4 days then pretty intense nausea and headaches and achey limbs followed on day 6 by very sore mouth ulcers. I don't like it. And i've given up drinking and fun, infact this whole house has become a fun-free zone. Cancer is a fun sponge. And i have to drink soya milk and eat huge amounts of cabbage. All good for me I know so I must get a grip and stop moaning. Thankfully I feel OK now so the side effects seemed to last a week. That gives me a clear week coming up to enjoy not having fun with friends before round 2 on the 21st! Moan, whinge, whine
Guest user
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Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Hi Cybelle ~ Love your photo ~ when's your FEC3 due? mines on the 25th Jan, as you say at least it'll be halfway through ~ got to be a plus side somewhere! Hope your mums coping ok, Take care Sand x
Guest user
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Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Hi, Had first chemo 13th Dec, tried cold cap, but couldn't hack it for more than 2 1/2 hours, part from nausea both during treatment and the following day, got away with it fairly well!! Had weird muscle spasms in back and stomach on day 8 after first treatment, has anyone else had these? Had second FEC on 4th Jan ~ good start to the New Year ha ha. No nausea this time, just felt a bit shaky for the week following, once again had same muscle spasms on day 8. Had hair cut really short by my great hairdresser, she came to house, and also trimmed wig. Still got some hair on top, spect it won't be long before it goes altogether. Wore wig today and my 13yo grandaughter walked in and the first thing she said was, 'I like your hair Nanny', so it must look fairly realistic ~ good old NHS. Been reading other posts re alcohol, my usual tipple is Southern Comfort, but gave this a miss over Christmas, incase I go off it!! Stuck to ocassional glass of wine and Baileys, nice to have a treat every now and then, I think we all deserve it. Hope you all managed to enjoy Christmas and are trying to be positive about getting through this treatment,, just think, by Easter we'll be all singing dancing!! Good luck to all. Keep posting.
Sandxxx
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Today's post is a tribute to the BCC community, and everyone who posts on these forums - and that means YOU

'You've Got a Friend...' :

today's post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk

Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

We went to the Hollywood Costume exhibtion at the V&A! On a little outing, like normal people!
It was fab - saw Dorothy's ruby slippers. Darth Vader, and Marilyn's iconic air-blowing-up-her-skirt dress.
V. crowded, whch made me anxious for reasons you will all understand, but I don't think anyone sneezed in my direction.
Feel so much better psychologically, just by having gone out and done something. Have been staying at home too much in my safe, warm little germ-free cocoon...
I can't wait for FEC3 to happen, now. I know it's going to be horrible, but I also know that then I'll be half way through.
Hope you have a good time tomorrow, Lolly and Cress xxx
Guest user
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Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Good Morning Crackers,

Thanks Maire makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who has had freakish stuff going on from the chemo.The rash is still appearing every night but the cream and antihistamines from my GP who seems to be taking the rash seriously unlike the onc do, calm it down.

Cressida The vision thing is bloody annoying, hate going out as I really can't focus too well, dreading the day when a simple bus ride to the hospital turns into the magical mystery tour. Thanks for the tips about the skin changes from chemo and if the rash continues the onc will have to listen to me.

Good luck to everyone having CT this week and everyone dealing with the aftermath of CT I wish you all the best.

I can be changed by what happens to me,but I refuse to be reduced by it Sheils xxx



Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

'Follow the yellow brick road...' :

today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Too far for me too, but would have loved to have done.....
Enjoy the rest of your weekends.
Loads of lovexxxx
Mindy63
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Too far away for me but have fun when you meet up!

lolly123
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

hi Cressida,
just read on here and you already have done what mentioned on my message to you, and see if we can get anyone else to join us if they can.
looking forward to meeting you weather permitting.
lolly
x
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Lolly and I are going to meet up on Monday for coffee (if it doesn't snow). Anyone else near enough to Bedfordshire to join us? Message me (or Lolly) for the details.
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Morning Crackers,

Welcome back Teal & SheilaP. Chemo def messes with your vision Sheila, I had a range of blurryness and little stars/flashes going on in FEC-T, now I just get the blurryness. Can't imagine how much more annoying it must be with the cataract. Grrrr. Also the rash - I am sure you will have thought of this but you could be allergic to some product you are using, even if you are not usually. Don't forget how chemo changes the skin. I have had a high speed menopause thanks to chemo so my skin has aged years (along with the rest of me) in just a few months - products that were suitable before are not now. And chemo dries out your skin as well. It's a whole, horrible new world. NOT FAIR. Mind you, still make sure you are not being fobbed off by the Onc and keep an eye on it.

Lisalouw - sorry you are feeling a bit sh*t. I know what you mean about feeling that the chemo is worse than than the cancer. I was fine until they diagnosed me and started treating me! Hope you are feeling a bit better by now. Are you having the jabs to boost your immunity?

Maire & Cybele - neuts levels - the only way to know is to have a blood test. You may feeel sh*t for lots of chemo related reasons apart from neuts levels. In fact, I felt fine when my levels were 0.02. Zero would require living in one of those plastic bubbles but I was at home with a man with a cold. Oh, well.....

Sorry about your weeping mother Cybele - it's really hard to upset elderly parents, even though your mother is Yorkshire and glamorous. Mine is a chirpy cockney who comes from a music hall family (no I have not made that up) so she would prefer a sing-a-long to having to deal with this. I never know how to get the balance right.

I am still suffering the effects of the drugs I did not need. Not much sleep and bowels are not playing. Feeling anxious that neuts will still not be up by Tuesday. I feel about 75, but at this rate I actually will be by the time I finish this chemo round. Will be having blood test Tuesday and then ringing one hour later for results.

Keep on keeping on, Cress, xxx
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Love it Cybele!
My consultant literally just said to me "it's malignant!"
No niceties in Yorkshire!
Sleep well.
xxx
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

'There is an Angel of Death, and her name is Vanessa':
today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele - I told my nurse that I was feeling really really weak after FEC 2 for up to day 8/9 and she said "Well you will do!" (I'm in East Yorkshire, so not quite as tough as the women in the north ridings!).
I dont know - I suppose if you're really concerned get your bloods tested????? mine are taken at 13 days as I get my expander filled on day 14.....and although they are dropping, they are still reasonable.
I'm off to get eyebrows tattooed on Sunday in expectation of them falling out? anyone else had it done or thinking of it..... ???
And Cybele - I know you have been feeling wrotten but I am envious that the cold cap has worked for you......(in a nice way of course....
sorry to hear your mum is sad - I've always maintained that my worst nightmare is one of my children being ill and my second worst nightmare is me being seriously ill..... it must be hard for our mums to stand by and watch us suffer.......
...both my parents are in denial.....when I see them they dont mention it...... at all!
Big hugs xxxxx
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

I've been wondering about the neutropenic thing, too.
i have been feeling so catastrophically weak for the last few days - it was a bit better yesterday, but today the weakness and fatigue is just swamping me..
I'm sure this is normal for chemo - I think I'm just a cancer hypochondriac.
Grace under pressure FAIL
Not only that, I went out for a brief totter earlier, and came back to find a phone message from my 81 year old mother, weeping down the phone after presumably having read my rather emotional blog post of the other day, from what I could make out between the sobs.
My mother doesn't normally do weeping; she's from north Yorkshire.
She's been a bit under the weather with a bad cold herself, and now I feel really bad about upsetting her.
On the plus side - um..... there must be something, but I can't think of it right now.
Oh yeah, my hair hasn't fallen out - yet.
I think I need some chocolate now, a stiff gin being off the agenda...
Mindy63
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele-I was due 3 fec and 3 tax but they had rethink about fec after the first one as they thought I was having heart spasms. So now getting 2 tax with the c element of the fec and a final tax on its own followed by lots of herceptin and tamoxifen and poss radiotherapy but not really been told about that. Basically I'm missing out on 2 x FE.
Cybele and Cressida-It's not really hacking but can't say too much or I'll get into trouble.
Washing dishes was obviously a big mistake and will point this out to husband tonight.
Sheila P-sorry you're having a rubbish time. I had a freakish pain in side that felt a bit itchy but no rash appeared. I convinced myself it was the start of shingles but then it disappeared. I'd keep an eye on your rash and see if it happens again next time.
Lisalou-How do you know if you are neutropenic? I only get bloods done the day before chemo and wonder where my neutophils are at, in between times. Sorry you're low and hope you'll soon be well enough to post a picture of the lovely ferret!

Lisalouw
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Hi ladies sorry not been on for a couple of days , I now have neutropenia , ace , I don't have a fever so I'm at home with lots of antibiotics and antifungal for my mouth and throat , I don't seem to be picking up much just so tired , on the plus side I have my wig it's a Rachel welsh one ha ha , I'm calling it ferret , hope you are all bearing up and cybelle , I'm so gob smacked about your so called friend , I'm really sorry it must knocked you for 6 , my little boys dad is abit strange about the cancer thing , total denial about it all , lv to you all, I'll catch up when I'm feeling a little better , which is soon I hope as it's beginning to wear me down at the moment , and im feeling like chemo is the enemy not the cancer, I hope I'm not like this every session xxxx
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Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Hi everyone been catching up on all your posts since I last visited,
I'm lost for words you are all wonderful people, all your bravery,courage,compassion,humour and love is amazing.
After the 1st treatment (FEC) I felt nearly every horrid side effect had to stop by for a Christmas or New Year visit.
The one that stopped me coming here here was my vision, that became blurry and distorted almost immediately,it made reading, writing impossible for about 18days. the left eye which had a miniscule cataract liked the treatment so much it grew and grew. The onc told me yesterday that it should improve after the treatment has finished and to try and manage till then but to expect it to reappear with each treatment.
I did manage to get through the cycle and had my portacathe inserted last Tuesday, was supposed to have my 2nd treatment yesterday but the wound from Tuesday had not healed enough so will be having chemo next Monday hopefully.
One really weird thing was the appearance of a burning and itchy rash on various parts of my body last Monday (day 21 after treatment) night after my shower. it now seems to come up every evening and some mornings.My GP has given me cream and antihistamine for it, but the onc absolutely refused any suggestion it might be a reaction to the treatment as my last treatment was 3 weeks ago.
Anyone got any ideas about this rash? I'm not the kind of person who has allergies normally maybe hayfever for 1/2 days every 3/4 years is about my average allergic reaction to stuff so this is very much uncharted territory for me.
Wishing all of you better health in 2013,
Hugs to you all xx Sheila

"I can be changed by what happens to me,but I refuse to be reduced by it" ~ Maya Angelou.
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Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele and Maire - stop all that washing up nonsense immediately. It's very dangerous, as is hoovering, dusting, tidying up etc.

Spent the morning shouting and cyring at people and will be having injections to boost my immunity along with the full dose of pioson, providing my neuts scrape themselves up to an acceptable level - but no-one will commit to the magic number. So now I can look forward to the full side effects, which were a bit like someone had a voodoo doll of me and was torturing it. Carefull what you wish for, as they say.

Maire - computer hacking - I am impressed - want to share?

Thankyou to everyone who has sent me good vibes - it really does help. Probably the reason that I managed to pull myself together and shout at people.

xxxx
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Maire , am v. impressed re the computer hacking.. 🙂
those are just the sort of skills a girl needs at a time like this.
I have lost track of what everyone's having and when - how many TC are you haivng? Are yours ALL TC?
The bleeding thing sounds nasty - I read that you should use washing up gloves in kitchen to protect hands, but have I done that? Um, no.
Am feeling a lot better than I was earlier in week, but I just long for ONE SINGLE DAY without nausea.
Not going to happen...
Mindy63
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cressida-Cannot believe how mucked about you've been. Why had they started if they didn't have your results??
I ask to see my results before they start (and I've got a way of finding out before hand which involves computer hacking of a sort. Sh, don't tell).
Hope your bloods improve soon.
Teal, sorry you're feeling rubbish and hope you start to rally soon.
I continue to feel good post TC but am getting mighty scared about next Thursday.
I though my chemo symptoms had completely disappeared but today I managed to cut the skin between my pinkie and ring finger with the smooth rim of a teacup. I've no idea how that happened but have had to resort to a plaster as it wouldn't stop bleeding. This chemo does freakish things.

Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

'Best Rodent In Snood' :

today's post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk

QueenDrama
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Oh Cress- that is shocking shocking shocking. I had my bloods done on wednesday in readiness for tomorrow and was told that if there was a problem they would 'fone me. Well cupcakes to that! I phoned my onco nurse this morning with another query and casually asked for the resuts of my bloods. And I shall do the same next time and evrytime after. Your stress levels must be through the roof!
Massively big hug!
Cybele - thanks for the link! I shall enjoy it later!
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cress - you're going to have to fight me for him!
Mandy - that really made me laugh.
Teal - so sorry to hear you're feeling so vile - I've had truly awful week as well after FEC2 last Wednesday, but am feeling so much better today - there are some comment further up from Jayne, who has just finished FEC x 6, which are quite cheering.
And as soon as we've had FEC3, we'll be at the top of the hill, and can start going down the other side, and the end will be in sight
I'm also really dreading FEC 3, but have decided I'm just going to put it right out of my mind now I'nm feeling a bit better, and focus on enjoying and getting the most out of the 'good' week ahead.
Really sorry about your hair, BIG HUG xxx
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Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Hi all
have not been on here for a while, had my 2nd FEC on Friday and today is the only day where I can say am feeling ok. Am dreading the next 4 will they get worse I just dont know. Cybele I can't believe what your friend said to you - dreadful I think having bc you find out "who your friends are". My hair is all gone now my husband had to shave it off it was shedding so much, found it everywhere even in food yuk. At least it has got a bit colder now so hoping this willkill off all the nasty bugs around. Good luck to everyone starting chemo or going on this journey by the end of January if all goes to plan I will be half way there!!!!!!!!!! xxx
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Thanks Cressida.
Cybele - you could be the new 'face' of the cold cap 2013!!!!! Nevermind Gok, he miss timed the Cybele boat!!!!
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele - I claim Chemo Brian for myself.
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Mandy - it's Neulasta - it's what I had before. Willing to have it again if I have to. I just had a more severe reaction to it than is normal, but not so severe that they had to stop it. Oh well....
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Mandy - I am not sure what injections I had last time - I will check and ask about nulaster. Really good news that your back pain is "just" muscular, hopefully when you can exercise again you can get it sorted. x
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Jayne - that all sounds good. Can't wait t o get to the same stage. Am also counting down the weeks like that - on the basis . as my sister said, that you haven't finished with the chemo until the chemo has finished with you.

Cress, I don't know how to tell you this, but the blog competition was in 2010 - the prize is long gone.... 🙂

Something amusing - have just seen that I am now being followed on Twitter by Paxman, the company that manufactures the cold caps, and by a cold cap campaigning organisation...
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cressida - that is ridiculous - seriously. p**s ups and brewerys spring to mind - it's not even funny!
Have you been offered nulaster - I have it the day after each session and it is meant to act should your levels drop below a certain level...... I know it's expensive and not always offered, but i think if you get a problem, then it should be given.
I have some good news... my CT scan was clear, so all the pain in my back is muscular after all. I am so relieved.....
Sleep well crackers.
xxxx
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Posting gremlins are moving all the posts about....
Jayne_m
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

It feels fantastic Cybele - the best bit was taking the cold cap off for the last time! I have felt great for the last 2 days, just waiting for my inevitalbe steriod dip and hoping that the elation of it being over helps me get through the dark days.

I cant believe how quickly the time has gone, many of you are now 1/3 of the way through. I found it helped to count down the weeks to a week after the last treatment - the week when I would start to feel better knowing I wouldn't have to dip again.

Just waiting to find out when my rads will start and will also be on 5 years of Tamoxifen.

Take care and keep going with the blog although I'm not sure how you manage it on the bad days - credit to you for keeping your many fans entertained!

Jayne x
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Ta Cybele, there is not much that takes me by suprise anymore in the treatment arena.

Not sure if you read the blog thread, but you have to link your blog in some way to enter the comp. Hate you to miss out on Gok.

x
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Wendy - I am waiting for the onc to decide what to do about me and my blood. They might have to lower the dose, which I am not keen on - I don't want to tickle the damn thing - if I am doing this I want to do it proper. Or they might be able to give me injections to boost my immunity - I have had these before and needed morphine based painkillers for the side effects. Big Pants.
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Something I forgot to say earlier:

Jayne , congratulations on finishing FEC!

HOORAY!!!!!!!!

How does it feel now you've got to the end?

Also ,thanks for tip re balancing hours of rest and activity - I think maybe that needs adjusting in my case.
I have been very hyper from the steroids and putting a massive amount of energy into writing the blog every day, and I have been resting very little. Maybe the massive fatigue I had over Tuesday and Wedhnesday was partly to do with that.
It was really quite scary, so getting a bit more balance sounds like a good plan.
Wendy56
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cress really feel for you that is pants. Is there anything they can do to sort your blood ? Or is it just another wait.

Hugs

Wendy x x x
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Oh, Cress, that is truly, truly awful

HUGE HUG.

And massively incompetent on the part of the staff - that is just appalling.
Am just outraged that they did that to you.
As if it wasn't all bad enough t ostart with..

Mandy -thanks for hair vote of confidence. I am keeping my fingers very firmly crossed.

QueenDrama, good luck with the Tax tomorrow. Iif you click on this link, it will take you straight to my blog: http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

The rat story is in a post called The North Yorkshire Rat Apocalypse, which was in December, and you can find here:
http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-north-yorkshire-rat-apocalypse.html

I still can't believe they did that to Cress - except I can believe it...
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

I went to the chemo unit. Hubbie took the afternoon off (no pay). I waited 2 hours. It took 2 nurses to get a cannula in. I swallowed steriods and anti-sickness meds. The saline pump was started. Then they came over and told me my neuts were still way too low to actually give me the chemo. Is it me???? Could they have checked earlier?????? Aaaaggggghhhhh.

So the lesson for today is - always ask about your bloods before you let them touch you.

QueenDrama
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Glad you're feeling more positive Cybele. Im not very good on the old computer (normally have to ask a teenager - they know everything!), but where will I find your blog? I am intrigued to find out the rat story!!!
Fingers crossed for you Cressida.Hope youre not feeling too yukky. I have tax 2 tomorrow- eek!!!I've had my steroids today in readiness and i'm buzzing! Shame my legs have gone all wobbly!
And yes I reckoned a woman did invent the good stuff! Some of the yukky things we women go through all begin with MEN! menarch, menstruation, menopause.etc.
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

NO Cybele - you shall keep your hair!!!! think it would have gone by now if it was going to go.
Hope all ok Cressida X
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Oh, and the best thing to do with a raging narcissist is to completly ignore them. So I won't be thinking about her anymore and I am glad to hear that you won't be, x
Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele - I have bumped it, and now I have moved it down one by posting this...

Off to meet chemo no 3.

x
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

QueenDrama, Jayne, Mandy, Cress, Maire - thanks xxx

Since I published that post last night I have received a huge wave of support via email twitter, facebook and comments on the blog, it's been very moving, and a huge help.

I was just devastated yesterday, and it came at the end of such an outstandingly horrible week with the FEC.

Still, onwards, and upwards, eh? I'm not going to waste any more emotional energy on her, and that.

I broke my 'no booze during chemo' pledge last night, and unfortunately drank both cider brandy and sloe gin, a combo probably not advisable even during the best of times , but hey, that was what was to hand. Back on the Chemo Wagon this morning, slightly shamefaced, and were it not for the self-inflicted hangover, I think I'd actually be feeling a bit better this morning..

Cress, this may be the fault of Chemo Brian, but where is the competition you were talking about? I can't find it...

On the plus side, it is Day 30 of chemo, I 've had 2 FECs, and I still have my hair!
Although, let's not tempt fate, I am not boasting about this, and am absolutely sure it's all going to fall out tomorrow. Or this afternoon. Or probably started falling out at the exact moment 2 minutes ago when I vaingloriously wrote 'I still have my hair'

The Alopecia Demon is probably rushing towards Hammersmith even at this very moment..
Mindy63
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele-I'm frothing at the mouth having just read your posts and blog. You have to ask, 'who's really the one with the illness?'. Seriously!
I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog, proof, if it were needed, that you are most certainly not "all about the cancer". I loved the rat story, and look forward to more tales from Yorkshire. I feel that I've grown to love Chemo Brian and hope you'll bring him along to our summer Christmas party. I do feel sorry for your erstwhile friend because who would want to be that person?
Hope the outrage has galvanised you a bit and that you're feeling a bit better today.
Cressida-Thanks for the mouth info. I will be bringing the whole medicinal arsenal to my next round of chemo!

Cressida
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele - I am so outraged by your "friend" that it is distracting me from the horror that is my approaching dose of GemCarbo. I have found a few people have gone MIA since I became cancer, and a few more since I failed to get better in the allotted year, but no-one has had the nerve to tell me that I have upset them by having a life threatning disease. How dare you distress this delicate person with your cancer??? Why should she have to ponder mortality just because you are so selfish as to be seriously ill when she wants to drink frothy coffee and discuss literature????

I really hope you are not wasting energy that you need on feeling upset about her behaviour, because I doubt she is using any of hers to worry about you. If only the cancer were as easy to get rid of as she is.

Without her there will now be more room for proper support, sending hugs, Cress, xxxx
Cybele
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

'If you see me walking down the street, walk on by...' :

today's post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk
mandyp
Member

Re: Starting Chemo in December.

Cybele - I too am lost for words although I have to say one particular so called friend has dropped me and my family like a lead balloon........another friend has said that she doesnt know how to deal with it.......well I'm the one dealing with it and feel that quite simply she doesnt have time for a sick friend..... i was good enough as a running and gym partner, and for dinner parties etc.... but not anygood as someone who needs a shoulder to cry on (continually). That's the fact of the matter.... I wasn't particularly tolerent before and dont think I am going to be so now.....I cannot forgive.....
......life is too short for not true friends........
xxxxxxx