Starting Chemo in December.2012

[Mindy63]

Hi All,
Had a very mixed day today: Started off with radiotherapy, which was fine-skin becoming very faintly pink (10 rads done). Then headed to hospital no2 to see surgeon about a lump I'd been fretting about on the other side. I had convinced myself it was related to previous dcis and as I have been having pain in my collar bone I put the 2 things together and was scared stiff about spread to bones. I have been snapping at my kids and had a bleak day of not talking to husband. Now I can do angry temper tantrum but I can't sustain huffs for very long so a whole day was some mood. Anyway it seems the lump was actually my rib or maybe some fatty tissue. Such a relief!
Followed this happy news up with a nice tapas lunch followed by a stroll through the lanes of the West End (it was raining of course but I'm hardy). Sadly at the end of the lane was a poor wee cat that had been hit by a car. It was alive and moving but bleeding and distresed with at least one leg broken. Now I can't stop thinking about it. The SSPCA was called but I don't know how the story ended as I had to leave to pick up my daughter from school. I shouldn't be posting it here because all I'm doing is spreading the misery. It's horrible to see any creature suffering and I just wish I could've done something to help.
I hope I haven't put anyone on a downer.
Keep plodding on folks, sorry Pollyanna has temporarily left the building.

[Funkilala]

Cressida Hi. Im Funki from the Feb Valentines thread *holds hand out to shake. I just wanted to say that although I dont belong in this thread I come in here daily just to read how you and Cybele are doing as I love both your posts. I was appalled to read how you have been treated and what you have been through and just wanted to say please please dont stop posting. Your posts in the past have made me laugh and lifted me when I have been down and when I grow up I want to be able to post just like you and make others smile just as you have. You are one inspirational Lady and I wish you nothing but the best. X

[Cressida]

Looking on the bright side - people have finally stopped saying "you look well". Now they say "ooo, you look pale".

[Lisalouw]

Morning , Cressida , I'm so happy to see you posting , how you feeling, is the pain any better , and are the antibiotics working yet , what you have had to go through is shocking , it would be lovely to have a time machine wouldn't it xxxx
you all will be glad to hear I have a doc appt tomorrow for the good old farmer giles, god I hope he doesn't have to do an examination , the shame and the pain!!!!
Cybelle , I'm sending big warm hugs to hopefully warm the effects of the ice cap , thinking of you and hope all goes well for fec 5 , I'm the same with the hair , scared to say anything unless I jinx myself , I've turned paranoid and superstitious , and I was a little like it before all this so it's now 10 fold
xxxxx

[Cressida]

I'm back already - you didn't want me to leave so get used to it.

Good luck to Cybele with FEC 5. So close. Please don't hunt me down. Unless you bring cocktails and M&S goodies....

Wendy - I understand how you feel about positive BRCA results. I am now terrified about getting a positive result. Previously it just seemed a no brainer - find out and deal with it. Now I fear the surgery and I fear telling my lovely neices. I have no female relatives over the age of 25 on my Dad's side, except my grandma, who had womb/cervical/ovarian cancer aged 40. On my Mum's side there are plenty and no-one has had any of the warning cancers. So it is prob on Dad's side. I don't want to be the one to tell 2 lovely girls aged 22 and 24 that they might have this. Especially as one has a 2 year old daughter. Oh God - why isn't there a "restore factory settings" button so we could go back and not have this sh*t.

x

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,

Hamley, Border Collies, Lolly, Maire, QD, Hilary, Lisalouw, Cybele and anyone I missed - Thank you so much. You all made me cry (again) with your support for me and your outrage at the way I have been treated. I feel a bit of a drama queen (and we already have one) for threatning to stop posting and disapear. The pain, the morphine and the appalling way I was treated in hosp (it's a long story for another time, but it involves a ward manager who thought I was a drug seeker and had my bag searched) have made me proper mental and paraniod. I thought no-one would want to hear me going on about how ill I am and my failure to "beat" breast cancer, when you might really need positive stories about people who got treated, got better and got on with their lives. Anyway, you are all fab and have really contributed to saving a bit of my sanity (and I need whatever bits I can get). THANK YOU, xxxxx

[Wendy56]

Cybele - you are nearly there now so keep walking up that hill a few more weeks and you wll be at the finish line. It is really rubbish how you have felt and this disease is pants in all respects but you wll get your life back soon that is for sure. It may be a different normal but you wll soon be looking back on all this nightmare journey.

Love to all

Wendy

[Cybele]

Morning, all.
Have got a bit behind with what everyone's up to, what with the whole root canal thing. Felt pretty rough yesterday, but today am up early feeling ok, and ready for FEC5 later this morning. with all the bad publicity i've given them on the blog, the hospital is VERY concerned to see that I don't have anything to complain about for my last 2 chemos, so hopefully all will go smoohly this time...

Cressida - words fail me - a red mist of anger descended on me when I read your words. I know about cellulitis, it's horrific even without chemo; the fact that they took so long to diagnose it while you were in such agony is just appalling. Don't even think about stopping posting on here, or I will be forced to hunt you down and drag you back into our company, and you wouldn't want to be stalked by someone as demented as me, now would you? Anyway, WE NEED YOU, you are the backbone of our December group which, as Maire has pointed out, is now bonded together above and beyond the piffling matter of chemo. We're all lost in the woods together, and we need to stay together to stay sane (ish) End of..

Coyotegi, Lisalouw, the thing about working and chemo sucks. Anyone who doubts what the poison does t oyu should be forced to take a dose of it themselves. When I was talking to the Chemo Matron, she said they really don't recommend that people should work doing chemo - apart from the risk of infection, it is such nasty stuff that they want people to rest and recuperate as much as possible while they're on the receiving end of it.

Wendy - am so sorry about your news BIG HUG xxx

QD, Coyotegi - it's a pain about the chemo being delayed, but when mine was it did end up feeling like a bit of a holiday from the horribleness, and by the end of that fourth week I was remembering what it was like o feel normal again, which was very cheering.

QD (belatedly) sorry I didn't acknowledge your brilliant remark about the perfect murder - I couldn't remeber who had said it - I thought it was either you or AlPal, but wasn't sure. Talking of whom, what has happened to AlPal - I remember she was meant to be going skiing in February, which sounded ambitious, but she doesn't seem to have posted for ages. Hope she's OK.

QD - hope your PICC line holds out - that's exactly how I'm feeling about mine - 'just STAY QUIET for the last 2 chemos, and don't cause me any more problems!'

Lolly - v.glad to hear FEC4 went well and is going OK - it's cheering to have some good news!

Border Collies - YAY! you've finished! We'll all be joining you soon on the sunlit uplands of the post-chemo world...
btw your post sounded as if you were saying goodbye, which I hope you're not - we can keep this thread going while we all go through rads etc, can't we? I don't want to have to move to a new one... THIS IS OUR PLACE

Also - your thing about the hair fear made me laugh - am exactly the same, terrified that's it's all going to fall out at once after FEC5 or 6. The Matron and the BC nurse assure me it won't..

Hamley - hope FEC5 went OK for you yesterday xxx

Maire - you continue to make me laugh with your Tamoxifen comments. I KNOW I will be putting it off in exactly the same way.
Sand - glad t ohear that Tax now being a bit kinder. Tax sounds GRIM

Right, off to get my Chemo Bag ready to go.
Am feeling much more upbeat about FEC5 - a combination of knowing the Matron is in charge now, the after effects of the Reiki (presumably - really have been calmer this week) and also knowing that after I come home today i will only have to go back there one more time. That is HUGE. Now really starting t ofeel therewill be life after chemo, which was difficult to imagine 14 weeks ago..

Love to you all xxxx we will get through this xxx and in the summer we wil have The Poison Free Party!!!

[Lisalouw]

Cressida, so sorry about the infection , but yep please don't go , keep posting , can't they give you IV antibiotics to get it in your system quicker or have you had that already , didnt it come up on bloods that an infection was lurking whilst you was in hospital , thinking of you xxxx
wendy, so sorry about the gene , I'm still waiting to be tested
coyotegi , ill also be on half pay soon, I have no idea how they expect you to work with chemo, have you tried contacting the Macmillan nurses they can help you sort out finances and also there is a grant you can claim of about 300 which I think we can all claim , do you pay any sickness insurance or would your mortgage let you have a payment holiday , you shouldn't have to think of this at all xxxx
cybelle, glad your free of the dentist , my back 2 fillings are now starting to crumble , good luck for thurs xxxxx

[H144]

Cressida - how awful - I'm so sorry for you. My husband has severe cellulitis a few years ago and was hospitalised - he had polio as a child & thus it dd affect him more than most but he didn't have chemo as well. There must be someone you can make a formal complaint to Please keep posting & let us know how you are.
Hilary x

[Cybele]

'Eve of Destruction': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Guest user]

well had a quick scroll through posts and find we are all feeling the same! tax is the PITS. i was not prepared for 10 days of feeling soooo bad. 5 days of running, well trying to run, to the loo has at least meant i have lost 1/2 stone, result! got to be a silverlining somewhere hasnt there? However now have a cold and chemo this week has been postponed till next week, but again feel a bit of a silver lining as a bit of a holiday from SE . . On the downside work are trying to put me on halfpay, so dont need this stress as no idea how i will pay the mortgage, HR seem to think i only need a couple of days off after each treatment and i should be going into work the rest of the time. As i work in a police custody block not sure how they think i can "manage" detainees at the mo!
Still time has gone quicker than i thought it would and can see the end in sight. thoughts ands hugs to all on here .

[QueenDrama]

Cress - dont go! please post some more.

had my bloods done today - white blood cels too low so chemo delayed until wed. damn! x

[Mindy63]

Cressida-I'm really glad you decided to post. I have been imagining all sorts of awful things. It sounds as though heads should roll. How on earth could the doctors let this happen to you? How long will you need to take the antibiotics for? What about your surgery? Is there any chance the right antibiotics could hit the problem hard and allow you to have the chemo you need?
Please keep posting. We all started this journey together, and we may be in different places at the moment, but I feel we have more in common than bloody cancer and chemo. I really hope the antibiotics help sort out your pain issue. Can hardly type this I am so teeming with rage on your behalf.

[lolly123]

hi all,
Cress so sorry to hear your rotton news, but pleaae stay in touch, you can't leave us now we need to hear from you and your expereance is vital to all of us to be aware of all the symptems to look out for. HUGS to you and hope to catch up soon for another coffee and cake.
Cybele glad you are going to have a rest from the dreded dentist, you have enought to put up with and good luck for tomorrow hope it all goes well.
My FEC 4 went well eventualy had to have my bloods done again before the pharmacy would get my FEC ready i only had them donre the day before, but luckly it all came back ok so only 2 more to go as everyone keep telling me, got to get through this one first, but so far so good felt a little queasy but afer taking all my med feel a bit better, keep fingers crossed this one goes smother and i stay out of hospital.
god luck to all that is going to have chemo this week and hope thing go soother for you all we could do with some good news for a change.

[Border_Collies]

Oh Cressida that sounds just awful. I cannot understand how your treatment team have let you get into this state which of course puts you at more risk by stopping chemo.
I only had two lymph nodes removed (clear) but was told imjmediately that I was never to have an injection in that arm again. When I had my last blood test prior to FECx6 I questioned the nursse on this point because I didn't fully understand why. She said that it was because the needle could introduce an infection and I should be very careful of any nicks and cuts on that arm. This is going to prove difficult for me because I train dogs and when they get excited and jump up nicks and scratches are inevitable.
Before BC I had some bleeding from the womb with infection. During, 7 months I had three operations, one of which they botched, and bleeding got worse (ended up in A&E one night with massive bleeding) and whilst it was the opinion of 5 surgeons that I needed a hysterectomy my own surgeon wouldn't give me one and kept sending me away with really strong antibiotics. John and I had had enough of this and said we were going private. As soon as those words were said my surgeon agreed that that would be the best course of action but still didn't offer one. The NHS these days seem to do as little as possble because it means spending money especially if you are older.
Went private, job done, and the bresult was massive massive infection right up the fallopian tubes and womb. It was because of this and the difference in attitude in the private hospital that we took out Health Insurance. Just as well with what I've got now.
I wrote a letter of complaint to the NHS Trust, the Health Minister, the Ombudsman, etc, and the matter is ongoing. It's not to get compensation but to try to prevent this sort of negligence. The Trust should be made aware of the shortcomings in the hospitals.
Anyway Cress, thinking of you, rest and get rid of that infection so that you can get on with your treatment and get some peace of mind.

[hamley]

Cress, that's terrible. The ineptitude of the people 'looking after you' is disgusting. Are you making sure that the senior members of the hospital staff are aware of your situation?
Please don't log yourself out, perhaps we can offer you some kind of solace and I'd rather hear what's happened because then I can be aware of where things go wrong and act accordingly. If it weren't for this thread I would be having chemo, blood tests and cannulas for surgery in my bad arm because the hospital staff don't seem to worry about it although they always seem to know about it when I ask. Please don't leave us, we need you.
Very big HUGS.

[Cressida]

I don't really know where to start with this and I am worried about scaring some of you. I have a very serious cellulitis problem. It's the sort of thing that would not be a problem for a non-chemo person. It's a deep tissue infection that has spread all over due the inability of the idiots "looking after" me to spot it. It could have got in via any small break in the skin, but there is no sign of a break, so it could have just been lurking in my body waiting for my immune system to hit rock bottom, then got lodged in the damaged lymph system in my bad arm and set up shop. This is exactly the sort of reason you don't let anyone mess with your bad arm.

Anyway, the only treatment is buckets of anti biotics, for a long time. Almost certainly has stopped my chemo, so now I have to take my chances with the cancer, as the chemo is now more likely to kill me than the cancer.

I almost deleted this and logged myself out, I really hope I am not scaring any of you. Just make sure you are not ignored if you have symptoms that you are worried about.

[Guest user]

Hi all. Gone from constipation to the exact opposite, can't be too far from loos!! Other than that, must admit the reduced tax seems to have been kinder this time, only glands up and achy neck, shoulders etc, nowhere near the pain in the legs like last time, so keeping fingers crossed that things continue in this vain, (apart from visits to loo!!) Many congrats to all who have got through the chemo ordeal, one day we'll all be there!! Still losing fillings hopefully will have some teeth left to refill, I've hung on to most of my teeth and don't want to give up the ghost now!! Good luck to anyone having treatment this week x

[hamley]

Cress, I'm now assuming that you ARE Prince Harrys' latest squeeze, I've seen a picture of you and you're a stunner!
Lolly, I hope FEC 4 has gone well for you, good luck with the SEs. I found FEC 4 a little less harrowing than the previous 3, I hope you do too.
Cybele, well done for getting so far with the root canal, at least you won't have to worry about it for a little while now. Good luck with FEC 5 on Thursday.
Lisalou, I think even Pollyanna might consider piles a step too far to be glad about.
Maire, when will you start tam? I can understand why you want to delay it.
Bordercollies, congrats on completing FEC 6, you know now that this will be the last of the SEs and when you start to feel better you'll stay better and won't have to dread the darkness again.
QD, hopefully the stair exercise will have contributed to weight loss!!!
I had my bloods done today for FEC 5 tomorrow. I'm dreading it big time. Still, only one more after this and I'm sure that the whole tub of Ben and Jerrys Cookie Dough icecream that I've just eaten will help me through it. Where are those anti emetics I had, I think I need them now!

[Cybele]

'Open Wide': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Lisalouw]

Marie and border collies , it must be the best feeling knowing chemo over with , ive 2 more to go then surgery 4 wk after then rads, not sure how long they wait after surgery and rads , I'm sure I was told but I havnt processed that bit , QD can they just use your arm for the last 2 instead of picc, I hope it gets sorted and I'll ask for that for the bum episode , I never realised that every movement you make contracts your behind , so sore , ouch , the delights of chemo , what would Pollyanna say to piles ?? Xxxxx

[Mindy63]

Border Collies-Big big congratulations. Enduring 6 fecs is no mean feat! I hope the se's aren't too bad this time. At least you know each day is a day closer to freedom and not fec7!!!
Lolly-glad you're feeling a wee bit better. Fingers crossed re lungs.
Cressida-Thinking of you and your onc appt. Really hope all is ok.
Cybele-Can't remember what day you're getting root canal work done. Can't go back a page or I'll lose post. I think root canal treatment calls for most flavoursome alcohol as a reward.
Lisalouw-Bowel issues continue post chemo for me. Think bowel is mighty confused.
QD-I'm trying to rest brain. Mental arithmetic too stressful! Sounds like you had a real fun day at hospital.
I've now had 9 radiotherapy sessions. Absolutely no reaction as yet. I'm not expecting skin to react until the end but so far, so good. I actually find it almost therapeutic. It's a relief to get that pesky area blasted!
Tiredness getting better too. Still not opened Tamoxifen box yet. I am going to get such a row from nurse/doc/onc (whoever's the boss at the moment).

[Border_Collies]

Just read my post. Now I'm thinking OMG I've jinxed myself. I may have had the last f"""ing FEC but there's still time for the hair fairy to say "don't speak too soon" and my remaining hair could literally disappear down the plughole! Noooooo!!!!!

[Border_Collies]

Well - I'm finished with poison for a bit - just had FECx6 - so that's me done and dusted!
Felt a bit strange leaving the chemo room armed with usual goody bag of meds but no further appointment. However my nurse was quite emphatic that they are not abandoning me. They are always at the end of the phone for whatever problem might crop up and my next appointment at the hospital will be to see oncologist as soon as rads are finished.
Pre-assessment for rads next wednesday and start them in exactly three weeks (for three weeks). I never thought I'd get to this point when I nervously presented myself for my first FEC on 28th November. It's not been a pleasant experience but it has gone a lot faster than I expected. Mustn't get too excited as I've still got all the side effects from FEC6 to endure but it's nice to know it's the last.
I hope anyone from this thread with chemos still to go manage to get through them and remain sane ... soooo looking forward to the chemo fog lifting sometime after 3 weeks. Good luck with the root canal Cybele - had those - NOT nice, and Cressida I truly hope they are doing something positive for you, you've endured so much. Now all I have to do is offer up a prayer to the hair fairy in which I will plead for quick regrowth and less shedding!!! Having said that it has been wonderful never to have had to wear a wig or scarf making me feel and look normal so in retrospect perhaps my prayer should cut out the whinges and say "thank God I have hair!"
Good wishes to you all.
,

[QueenDrama]

"Curiouser and curiouser", said Alice. The nurse removes my dressing. it is brown, crusty and yukky - particularly where the picc line is anchored. she smells it - clear. the picc line entry site - clear! so she swabbed it and redressed it. Possible reason? - my body is rejecting the picc line. nooooo! its got to withstand another 2 chemos then we can all reject it!!!
we leave the ward (6th floor) and the lifts are out of order - fire alarm. so we end up walking down 6 flights. Could've been worse - couldve been up. Good job Mairie wasnt with us - she'd have got really confused after 1 flight!!! Lol only joking! have you worked out the maths yet? !!!!
lIsa - i was given proctesedyl for my piles. wonderful! cleared up within 3 days and this morning was a breeze!

QD x

[Lisalouw]

Morning everyone , cress glad you feeling abit better and hope you enjoy your lunch with not a diet food in sight , cybelle , thinking of you today and your tooth , shellebelle sorry about the reaction that's sounds so horrible and traumatic , hi lolly hope you feeling better after your transfusion , lung problems too!!! Good god , is there anything that chemo doesn't mess with , love to everybody I'm on day 6 post 4 th tax and C so not feeling too great so sorry if I've forgotten anyone .
Whats with the bowels as well , wish they could make there mind up , can't go to wont stop to now extremely painful piles!!! Sorry ladies , I've been up all night with them , why can't they knock us out for the duration of chemo again ?
Weight gain , I've put on about 7 lbs , so I'll also be giving the diet ago after this is done with , I hadn't lost my baby weight and that was 3 yrs ago so I wasn't happy with my expanding tum beforehand , can't even think about it at moment xxxxx

[lolly123]

hi to you all,
i did post yesterday but it has not shown up.
My blood transfusion went well didn't feel any different for a couple of days, now i feel as normal as i can just ready for my FEC today at 11am, to be beaten up again for the next two weeks, but ONC is reducing my E so hopefully i should sail through this one, as i have no Picc line now to get infected or give me blood clots, i have extra medication for my mouth blisters so hopefully i wont get them this time. Saw ONC last Friday and because i am still huffing and puffing she is sending me for another ECG to make sure i have not been damaged with the FEC if that come ok i have to wait until i have finished chemo if i am still out of puff i will have to go for tests on my lungs, but i am feeling much better since blood trans so hopefully i am ok now.
This will be my 4 FEC so only 2 more to go before my Rads of three weeks still seems a life time away but we will all get there, ready for our summer party
take care one and all, HUGS to you all.
lolly
x

[Wendy56]

Cress/QD

Hope all goes ok thinking of you both

Wendy x x

[QueenDrama]

Ditto Hilary!
On my way to hos now. picc line leaking! yuk! great fun at Queen Elizabeth hos this morning. Not a single telephione is working!!! Thank God someone actually picked up the emergency fone!

oh Lolly - you ok?

QD x

[Cressida]

Had the scan, had the lunch, now I am off to see the onc, wish me luck, xxx

[Cybele]

'A kind of magic': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[H144]

Hi everyone
Cybele - good luck for the dentist. I can't believe how unlucky you've been with all the side effects and now your tooth - I really feel for you.
Cressida - pleased that you escaped from the hospital but sorry that you feel c***. Hope the bone scan went OK and that you had a good lunch.
QD - sorry to read your sad news.
Sand - hope you have are suffering none or very mild side effects after your TAX.
Hamley - good news about the cysts.
Shellebelle - the reaction sounds awful. Hope things get sorted at your appointment Wed.
Mandy - like you my last TAX was reduced but I'm still finding it tough. My 6th (& last!!) one is on the 22nd. I agree totally about the weight gain & will have a look at the 2 day diet.
Had 3 scans last week and am seeing oncologist and surgeon on Friday to discuss the surgery. Last time I saw the onc she said the lump had shrunk and might be WLE rather than mx. - at least if it's shrunk it shows the chemo is doing what it's supposed to! At this present moment in time I've got to try to hold on to that thought - not sure would continue otherwise. I really want my life back!
Take care everyone
Hilary x

[Mindy63]

QD, talking of chemo brain, someone asked me how many more sessions of radiotherapy I had left. I said, "Well, I've had 6 and I'm getting 19 all together so that's............left...eh..eh" I couldn't do the maths. Just started laughing to cover embarrasment.

[Mindy63]

Oh and Cressida. Really hope your scan went ok and you had a nice lunch with your pal.

[QueenDrama]

Cress - lovely to hear from you - fingers crossed for today.
Cybele - hope all goes well for dentist tomorrow. Ive lost part of a filling but the dentist said that i had enough left and he didnt want to touch anything so have an appointment for may. Hope ill be able to have the appt cos its driving me nuts cos i keep getting stuff stuck in it. Still my tongue is getting a good work out!
Michelle - think positive. I know its hard but there are lots of different chemos out there. there is an alternative to tax - and your onc will find it.
Sending a hug to Lisa- men can be so childish sometimes when they are not the centre of attention.
hi to hamley Maire Sand Wendy Bordercollies Jayne and everyone else! If ive forgotten you its not intenional - its the chemo brain.
QD x

[Cressida]

Hi ladies,

Read through a bit better this morning. Bear with me as I am still full of morphine and I can only type with one hand.

Hamley, Border Collies & Cybele - just wanted to congratulate you on having the new sfx of cold sores up the nose, I have been trying to organise in my mind how a game of cancer top trumps would work, but this would surely score pionts in ths sfx catagory.

QD - so sorry to heat about your MiL and the funeral difficulties. Thinking of you. x

Shellbelle - so sorry your treatment had to be stopped. I can def sympathise as mine is on hold.

Lolly - hope BT went OK.

Hamley and others wondering if I am Prince Harry's girlfriend. Obvs I can neither confirm nor deny.

Maire - your escaping tit made me laugh so much the the morphine couldn't stop it hurting.

Cybele - Boo to dentistry. Also - I can personally confirm that a chemo resistant tumour did not stop me having every sfx in the book, apart from cold sores up the nose, that is special. Hope you are feeling better, x

I'm off to have my bone scan, even though I am traumatised at the idea of walking into that hospital. Also, I can't get my arm above my head like the lady in the picture and I doubt they will find a vein to put the radio active dye in after all the butchery I endured last week. Either way I hope to have lunch with my lovely friend, so as long as that is acheived, I will be happy,

xxx

[Cybele]

'The scream': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[hamley]

Sand, I put on 10 lbs over 3 days after FEC 1. Then I had some strong constipation tablets and lost 8 lbs in one night if you see what I mean!!!!!! I take a constipation tablet before the event now but the little weight increases are now mounting up!
Maire, we've got flurries of snow too, but they're not settling I'm glad to say. It's very peaceful watching them though.
Cress, it's great to have you back. Sorry you're still not up to par, but at least you're home.
Cybele, my FEC 5 is next Wednesday, then one more to go. HOORAY. I've got the date for my mx on 24th Apr so that only allows the same 21 days for chemo recovery as we're on at the moment. I hope nothing is delayed with chemo for the next two cycles otherwise my white blood cells might not be up to scratch for my mx, but I certainly couldn't say they've kept me waiting which is all to the good. I think I'll ask my onc for those injections she offered last time after all. I'll have to go to my GPs nurse to inject them though; I'm such a chicken.

[Mindy63]

Sand, I put 4 lbs on overnight with each taxotere/herceptin treatment. Think it was fluid retention.
Wee flurries of snow up here along with some sunshine.

[Cybele]

'Counting the sunny hours': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Guest user]

HI Michelle, so sorry to hear of your bad reaction during Tax, what a b***er!!! Hope you get something sorted out on your next appointment. Cress so glad your out of hospital at last, and sorry you've had such a rough time, we all feel for you. Had my reduced Tax on Thursday + Herceptin, now awaiting se's that kicked in on third day last time. Already got stomach ache even though prescribed Omeprozone this time. Also put on 6lb again overnight, did send off for two day diet book though, so have been leafing through it, don't know when I'll feel up to starting it though probably after last Tax which should be on 28th March all being well. Have a great Mothers Day one and all, we WILL get through this lol xxx

[Cybele]

Cress - WELCOME BACK!!!!!! so glad to hear from you, and that you're home xxxxxxxxxxxx MASSIVE, MASSIVE HUG xxxxxxx you have been very much missed
Lisalouw - sorry t ohear you're having such a rotten time, MASSIVE HUG for you, too - this too shall pass xxx
I think we're all getting pretty weary and completely fed up with the whole thing by now - i just keep thinking ' I want my life back, I want my life back', but it's not long now. OK, there's still rads to come, but by the beginning of June we should all have the hospital out of outr lives in the sense of being tied to it in the way we are now - sorry,I've just realised that may not apply to everyone, I know some are having chemo before surgery, and others have got more complicated treatment plans.
But at least we'll all be out of the chemo woods fairly soon. When I was in the middle of the side effects of FEC4 last week, I couldn't even bear to think about having to do two more, but now I just keep thinking fEC5 on thursday, and then after that ONLY ONE MORE, and that is starting to cheer me up no end.
love and hugs to all xxxxxx

[Border_Collies]

Cressida - Nice to see you posting again. Hope you are feeling better.

[Mindy63]

Posted but it disappeared. Cressida, I am thinking of you and hope you get the all clear with the bone scan. Hope you get some help with the pain too. So worrying. xxx

[Wendy56]

Cress so glad you are ok have been thinking of you x x

[Lisalouw]

Hi ladies, sorry to hear about all the crap everyone going through, Cressida , glad your out of hospital and hope you feel better soon , QD , I'm sorry about your loss , cybelle I've had a tooth problem too , had mine packed and just hoping it calms down
I've just had tax and C no 4 , so feeling abit rough and teary which I seem to be alot at moment , it doesn't help that my sons dad seems to be intent on starting an arguement over our son , I've also had a wk back at home as my mum got gastroenteritis on sun night so I had to move out to hopefully stop us from catching it , so I've had to cook clean wash and look after me and my 3 yr old, I wish I could do the things I used to .
Ive been doing cold cap so still got a covering but need to wear a hat out as I'm sure I would get stares as I have to do comb overs , I've also got my eyelashes and eyebrows , when did everyone's come out , and now I've mentioned it I'm sure they will propell out of my face immediately , is everyone getting abit weary of it all now as I seem to be getting alot of negative thoughts, which I havnt had before , maybe I've been in the nice warm big duvet of denial
lv to you all xxxxx

[Cressida]

Hi ladies,

I have escaped the hospital. I have tried to read your posts and I am very touched by all the concern. I have missed you all. No internet access at the hospital. This is prob because they fear that someone like Cybele might blog about how terryifyingly sh#t the place is. I am still very poorly, so can't write long post. Also can't see straight cos of the morphine.

Having bone scan Mon and seeing onc on Tues. Thankyou all for your kind thoughts and wishes,

xxxx

[shellebelle]

Marie ~ the reaction was something I certainly wouldn't want to experience again, nor would I wish it upon anyone else either. It was classed as severe, but I didn't lose total consciousness and end up in full anaphlyactic shock. I still feel pretty crap even today, 2 days on so not pushing myself to do much this weekend.
Hamley ~ yes, you're right, I will mention the bump on scar, even if it's disappeared by Wed's appt.
Cybele/Marie ~ the information I got about the benefits of chemotherapy for my particular cancer were provided by my Oncologist who used the Predict Tool http://www.predict.nhs.uk/predict.shtml as a visual reference. It is only a guideline, but made my decision as to whether I should have chemo and hormone treatment or not a bit of a no brainer. It could increase my chance of survival from 1/3 to 2/3 at 10 years. This was based on me having the Docetaxel, so I'm not sure how it would differ if I'd only had 1 dose of that and had to revert back to the EC chemo for the final 2 doses.
As for losing weight..... Meh! All words such as 'diet' 'low fat' 'fasting' 'calorie controlled' or any one meal that involves a list of ingredients longer than what's on my current total weekly shopping receipt and takes longer to prepare than an episode of Emmerdale, just has a negative effect on my brain. I'm a lazy cook and food needs to be quick, simple and tasty with as little washing up to do afterwards for me to stick to any plan. However, I do know I can't sit on my backside and trough my way through the contents of M&S foodstores either, so Rosemary Connolley may revisit my kitchen in paperback form once more!

[hamley]

Thanks to all for your comments, I can't express the relief I felt after my appointment.
Cybele, please don't indulge in the elasticated waist band, it's the quickest way down the slippery slope!! I know how tempting these comfy clothes are though. I'm going to try the 2 day diet, I've already ordered the book from Amazon.
Shellebelle, please mention the lump to your onc even if it seems to have gone away. I thought my tumour was a cyst and didn't mention it. It's probably nothing but be on the safe side. I had a little lump in my WLE scar and it turned out to be a bit of a disposable stitch that had got caught up and hung around too long. It cleared up of its on accord in the end.
Maire, Cybele I was told by my onc that chemo and rads together increased my chances of surviving beyond 10 years by 7-8%, this with my young age (all compliments are accepted!) meant this was recommended. My tumour was grade 3, my Mums was grade 1 and she didn't have chemo because she was 12 years older than I was at dx and chemo would have only improved her chances of survival by 1-2% which meant the risks & SEs of chemo outweighed the potential benefits. I asked my surgeon why I didn't have a CT scan, he said that because my lymph nodes were clear there was no point as any nasties would be at the early stages can't be identified when they are so small and therefore invisable. It's all very complicated, but as Cybele says even the small % is significant, we'd hate ourselves if we didn't do everything possible then had a recurrance.
My Mum's been staying with me for a few days but went home today. She lives a long way away from me and I miss her. She feels guilty about not being able to be with me more often and even though she knew I'd lost my hair, she was really upset to see me in my chemo head gear. I don't think she had previously realised how much the chemo has taken out of me and she cried which has been one of the most upsetting things so far as she's not usually given to tears.