Today is bright and sunny in my neck of the woods. Hope you are all waking up to similar weather where you are.
I spent yesterday in Glasgow prom dress shopping with my niece (don't get me started on the whole 'prom' issue!). I thought I'd bounced back reasonably well but I was absolutely knackered and had to keep sitting down. My legs were so achey I could barely climb the stairs. I also had a bit of a flush at the till in Monsoon. I was desperate to whip off my wig and hat ensemble. Wish I could will some hair onto my head so I can ditch Cher once and for all but, realistically, think it will be closer to Christmas before we can part ways...and I might have to get a toupee!
Can you believe we've made it from Christmas to Easter? Though it's been awful it has also been really fast.
I just want to wish everyone a Happy Easter. I'll be rolling eggs with the family tomorrow-or lobbing them down the hill really.
Then it's off to Rome next week-where I'll turn 50. Yikes. If anyone has been and can offer any tips they'll be gratefully received.
Good luck with the last Chemo, Cybele. I found the side effects much more bearable on my last cycle just because I knew it was the last!
I'm a bit lost with what stage everyone is at but most will be moving closer to the finishing line so hope you're all continuing to cope with the chemo and all the other trials that life throws at you!
Hi All. Seem to have gone a bit astray lately, a couple of my posts went missing, so it's catch up time. Michelle, so glas that you've finally had a successful treatment - whoop whoop, onward and upward. Cress, glad they've finally sorted out your meds and you've had some much needed relief and sleep at long last. Maire, I know what you mean about being cold then waking up soaked, and the 'chemo smell' ugh, unless it's only me that smells like that?!?!Cybelle, great blog, really enjoy it, but I know where you're coming from re the 'prison sentence'. Am so jealous of the fact of the holiday planning etc, unfortunately not sure what's happening with treatment yet, so can't plan anything for a while, but ohh it would be sooo good to get some sun on the old bones!! Queen Drama, hope your mum is improving and gets on ok when they move her, she sounds marvellous for her age. Hope the thrush goes away quicker than the snow!! Manage3d to get up to London last week to see the Bodyguard, a long day as I live in Somerset, but well worth the trip and feeling knackered for the following two days!! Made me feel 'normal' doing something I used to do regular! Well I had my last chemo to-day + 3rd Herceptin - yipee. Can't quite believe it, seems a bit surreal! Have decided to try for Supremo Trial and Persephone Trial. Have read results of trial so far, felt I had nothing to lose, plus you get a genetic blood test aswell, and I thought no one else in my family had ever had BC til my aunt, who has dementia, mentioned last week that my grandads sister had it. I wouldn't have been eligible for rads, as I was in the 'grey area', I couldn't decide what to do about the Supremo trial, so asked my onc what she thought, as she specialises in rads. She said if like me she couldn't decide then she would go for the trial and let the computer decide, so I decided to go along with that, what the hell the more you can throw at this the better. Hope you all have a se free and enjoyable Easter. Sand x
Mandy and cress, so sorry your feeling shit at the mo , mandy I would def get checked out tom if you feeling rough , is your temp ok , I think I'm having 6 tax as I have an unclear margin and they keep saying I'm young , I've had my chemo today at a reduced dose , my onc is now worried about my toes now tingling , which has now today turned into a burning pain, did anyone else have this x
QQ, hope your mum gets better treatment in the rehab centre and avoids poo pants at all costs xxx
lv to everyone , would like to go to bed but the steroids and burning feet are not going to let me xxx
Cressida-I hate that you're feeling down. Surely the pain will ease off as your body heals. Your Doc seems a bit 'glass half empty'.
I'll give you a 3rd opinion if you like: you are going to have a good holiday and your spirits will lift. By summer you will be feeling much better and will be ready to party with the crackers-we just won't do any dancing that invloves lifting arms up and swinging pieces of clothing about!!!
Mandy-Don't put up with feeling rubbish. It might be worth getting checked out.
I'm not suffering from chemo misery anymore but I have the garage mechanic blues: car failed its MOT. Just cost me £240 for mot/service and to fix something to do with tyre bearing. Have not a clue what I'm paying for.
You really have had a tough time.....good on you resisting nasty steroids....so many are so quick to prescribe them and they make you feel like sh*t!
Is it any consolation to say that you've beat the arse off the cancer? probably not, but I'm trying to be helpful......
I burst out crying today while waiting for my rads meaaureup. I was the youngest there. I went by myself and felt so alone, vulnerable and hard done by. I also still feel shocking from this last tax.....it seems to be hanging around too much. I was violently sick last night (the first timeever) and generally feel weak and my lungs are really painful....
I'm sure it is the poison playing tricks with my head but I wish i had my life back and i wish that when i looked in the mirror I actually look like me coz i dont at the moment!!
Sorry Cress, sooooo wanted to make you feel better.......
Tomorrow is another day!
QD - hope your mum ok xx
Feeling a bit down after seeing the doc today. Basically he is saying he has a few more things to follow up, but his current opinion is that I am just really unlucky. The inflammation and loss of mobility I am experiencing are the result of the surgery, chemo and rads conspiring to do damage. At this stage he doesn't think it can be "fixed" and only time will tell how it will turn out. He wants to focus on treating the symptoms. He wanted to start steriods but I resisted for now. Pain killers and anti-depressants are the plan. This was my second opinion. When I have had my holiday I need a third opinion. I will just keep getting them until one of them says what I want to hear...
Hi coyotegi - have you tried clotrimazole for the fungussy nail?
Mandy - im doing 3 x tax then 3 x fec. my 2nd dose of tax was reduced as well. its not uncommon.
Cybele - hope you feel better soon.
Lisa - 6 x tax is harsh. If you cna get a reduction do so. I know we all want top beat the b'stard but we have to survive too.
Oh Hamley - you did make me laugh re your lady garden!!!!!
my mom moved last night to the rehab centre. Hoo ray!!!!
I had 3 tax after 3 fec. Like you Grade 3 and Triple negative and no node involvement. I chose to have mx first. why did you have 6 t????
After the first Tax, i had 4 and 5 reduced by 20%. this was on the advice of my onc as he said that given i had felt so poorly (unreasonably?!?!?) that the risk of damage to major organs was probably not worth doing the full 100%. Ive still felt rough but nowhere near as bad as i was.....i was going to ask if i should have the remaining 40% as a follow up, but assumed that they would have suggested it if it was a sensible theory!
I believe that it is quite common to reduce the dose......
Will be thinking of you tommorrow....
Night night crackers
Evening ladies , spoke to the nurse today about feeling crappy , she is going to send an email to oncologist and maybe I'll have my dose reduced tomorrow if I'm not up to scratch , which I have mixed feelings about as I have one unclear margin so I wanted the full lot , the nurse did say that tax was really hard going and that I'm doing really well as I down to have 6 of the b***ers , mine was a fast growing swine and tn but no node involvement , she did say it wouldn't make any difference if I had it reduced which I don't understand , also now I'm thinking am I imaginging that I'm feeling crappy because I'm sure I give myself symptoms just by thinking about them, anyway we will see what tommorrow brings when I see oncologist in morning xxx
cress, hope the weaning off the drugs not too bad , how's the temp at mo , I'll try double dose omaprazole thanks , and yeah to this trout eating a big Easter egg x
cybelle , can't believe your feeling crap again , thinking of you and I'm willing your temp to keep down, sending cool neut kick up the arse hugs , can't you arrange to get a script of antibiotics from your chemo dept as a precaution to help you x
mandy, it's a horrible feeling isn't it this lung thing , it does feel a little easier after taking steroids , but I still feel weak and wiped out and I look so pale , how many tax did you have and did you have the full dose x
marie, yeah to finishing rads , shocking council trying to close your school grrrr , what's it all coming to , suppose it's all money as usual x
coyotegi, glad you feeling better after tax reduction , I've had 4 and 5 th maybe reduced tom, maybe your right about them blasting us with the highest and see how we tolerate it , doesn't feel too good though does it , oh I'm a podiatrist so I mess with feet, I know disgusting , but if your nail doesn't look inflamed or red can you try and clip it off if it's loose as you might pull it on your socks , but you should get podiatry treatment free on Nhs with our medical problems , can you ask your chemo nurse x
QD, your poor mum that's awful , she does right and she seems like an amazing lady , she must be so uncomfortable too not going for a wk , poor thing , hope the walking works , poo pants !!!! They do not sound attractive all x
Bordercollies, thanks for your support.
Lisa, You moan all you want, I do and always feel a bit better when the other ladies here offer support and suggestions. It' a blessing.
Mandy, I'm going to have a recon, I'm going to see my PS next week to make sure that I know what's going to happen before I have the mx. I don't want to be told 'oh what a shame, if you had done 'A' we would have got a better result with 'B'' after the event. I'm going to have a second mx after rads but understand it will be a long time befoe my skin recoovers enough for the recon. I've already decided I want to be a D cup though!
Cybele, I'm going to ask for extra steroids too. I hope you'll feel better soon.
Cress, perhaps we could do a murder mystery weekend with cancer/chemo as the victim.
Maire, congrats on finishing, it's really time to look forward to your holiday now. I wish I could come with you.
Coyotegi, my finger nails have suffer a bit too; they're ridged and somewhat brittle. Still that VERY expensive hand cream I treated myself to smells lovely!
QD, your Mum sounds like quite a lady. My SIL died of bone cancer in Nov 2012 and for her humiliation was nearly as bad as the pain.
My hair has started to grow back. It's got no colour in it at the moment, not even grey. I've suddenly got a full compliment of hair on my legs (great!) but my lady garden remains very drafty (sorry to be so indelicate). Nothing about me is very lady like at the moment.
Love and hugs to all, we're all getting there.
It seems we are all suffering at the mo.( Come on Hamley You can do it !)
My thrush is in my nether regions but i shoved up a canesten pessary and am applying cream 3 times a day. My nails are a rainbow of colours. I noticed that they absolutely stank so i cut them really short and cleaned out as much dead stuff as possible. smells a bit better but they feel papery and as if they are about to depart from my fingers and toes - yuck!
My mom made me laugh and cry yesterday. She had her fall 2 weeks ago and has been in hospital ever since with a broken pelvis. After she had been in a WHOLE week she hadnt done a poo. A WHOLE WEEK!!!! So the nurses gave her 2 enemas - which didnt do anything. So they gave her some mega shifting stuff and then - are you sitting down ladies - they put her in a pair of "poo pants". Pants which she has to poo in. Ok ok i can see that it is easier for the staff to take off the pants and clean the area but ...... my mom is an able 95 year old with all her faculties. How DEGRADING!!!! so my mom went on strike yesterday. She refused breakfast, a wash, a walk and has categorically refused any more cryptonite plus poo pants! Good for her! I spoke to her and to the staff and the deal is that she will walk the length of the corridors twice a day using her zimmer frame in the hope that the movement will help her bowels to work. She is also upping her fruit and veg . The sooner she is moved to the rehab place the better!!!!
Hi again, well with taxo reduced by 20% feeling much better on round 5 than 4. But sat amazed when onc said this would be fine as only very low risk person anyway.if thats so who decided that every has 6 treatments? why if 20% less ok have i not had that all along? its like they blast you fullon and see if you can cope wiehter or not you need that much. MInd despite arguing with him that my cold was nothing the extra week off treatment made me feel more human and able to cope. now feel its possible to return to work 4 weeks after last chemo.
how do people eat ? its not the foul taste putting me off its the texture everything seems to get 10secs into my mouth? mind not eatting and trips to loo do mean loosing weight!
i have had very watery eyes, no infection just pour fluid which does affect sight at times , and now a toe nail seems to be coming off. should i find a chiropodist or just leave it?
glad most are moving towards the end of chemo, i havent been told i will have any other treatment. are they liksly to spring this on me?
would certainly like to join a summer meeting, but have to laugh that most are thinking of booking hols in the sun and i have booked a western riding weekend,lol . am i being too ambiciouse. i have ridden all my life and not having my own horse at the mo has been bad .
Sorry ,but again rambling on here when i dont come very often, i think i deal for so long and then just let go! thanks if you made it this far. Hugs to all
Don't know quite how to say this when you are all having such a struggle......but that's me finished radiotherapy!
Skin is fine, hardly changed colour at all. Mad itchy under my arm though. The nurse looked at it today and gave me dressings and gel just incase it breaks down when I'm in Rome but she doubts I'll have any problems. She said itchy is fine, if it gets nippy that's a sign the skin is breaking down. Heceptin has been fine too. Only had runny nose. My sore hip seems to have resolved so I'm guessing it was a lingering side effect of Tax.
My hair is starting to grow back but only on my head and I'm still losing eyebrows. Worryingly hair is very sparse on the top of my head. Quite worried about male pattern baldness. Gulp.
Back at work 5 mornings a week and will increase afternoon hours after Easter.
Life is now throwing new spanners in the works however as the local council is trying to shut down my youngest daughter's school. My job depends on the school and I have an emotional attachment so am now protesting at every opportunity. Is that flame thrower still kicking about?
The only reason I'm in this place at the moment is because I missed 2 chemos so I still feel like a dirty, rotten cheat. All you crackers will have done the full bhoona-and Cressida has gone beyond the bounds of duty to allow full chemical warfare to savage her body!!!
So when you get to where I am your joy will be unbounded and you will know that you have suffered and endured to give yourself the best chance against that b***h, cancer!
For anyone worrying about radiotherapy-it honestly is a breeze compared to chemo. You get zapped, you feel nothing, the nurses are lovey and you just lie on your back while they say "I'm a bit ant" or "I'm imf" and then they move you slightly. Zap and you're done. You meet the same people every day (depending om your timings) and bond very quickly. I ended up feeling lucky to have breast cancer because so many people are much worse off. Today I met a woman who was getting radiotherapy to her mouth area
My next hurdle will be the Tamoxifen. At least if I feel crappy I will know it will def. be down to tamoxifen because right now I'm fine. Not really any more tired than I was before this journey.
So keep plodding on-I hope this is where you all will be after kicking chemo's arse.
C'mon the summer and that glorious baldy party.
H144 - well done on finishing and Yay! to shrunken lump. Good luck with surgery.
Hamley - sounds like a really rough time. At least the end is in sight. You are absolutely entitled to feel sorry for your self and should not apologise for it. How sh*tty to have to pull out of a holiday cos of this cancer sh*t. I am furious and would like to come round and slap cancer. Now I want the crackers party to actually be a weekend break. Might be a bit of a fantasy, but it will cheer us up to plan it anyway. Where do you want to go? xxx
Lisa - another one having a rough time. You also need to vote for our fantasy weekend destination. As for acid reflux - can you double your Omeprazole? You can take 40mg if you are still on 20mg. Ask when you have No 5 tomorrow. then you might be able to eat more chocolate eggs. The expression "moaning like a trout" made me laugh out loud. Good luck tomorrow, xxx
Cybele - you are a very stubborn girl. Stubbornness is scientifically proven to improve your chances of surviving this sh*t. At least that is what I think I heard. Hang in there girl. Visualise Turkey. Go to A&E when it gets as hot as Turkey. I want to go to the Bowie exhibition with you. Or the Pompeii thingy - just saw it advertised - no idea if it is any good. xxxx
As for me - Lost all sense of "ill" or "well". Running a bit of a temp but keeping it under 38. Hoping to hang on till I see the nice palliative care doc tomorrow. Much as I have enjoyed pain free oblivion, it might be time to recover some of my senses as all I do is doze. Didn't notice I was "ill". Even having the sh*ts didn't act as a clue. Can't go back to hosp, especially at bank hol weekend.
Wishing you all a pile of chocolate eggs, functional taste buds and no indegestion or nausea, xxxx
Hamley, so sorry to hear FEC5 so bad - BIG HUG xxxxx
It's weird how the cycles can vary so much. For me FEC4 was by far the worst, FEC5 has not been nearly so bad because of all the extra steroids.
Know what you mean about FEC6 - I don't care how bad it is, just bring it on, because whatever happens IT'S THE LAST ONE.
I have been fairly demented for the last few days with this bug and NOT wanting to go to the hospital. Luckily my temperature hasn't gone above 37.4, so my OH hasn't been forced to take me there forcibly, which I think he might well have done if it came to it.
I'm still feeling really ill - this is a flu type bug and it'scompletely knocked me out, which wasn't hard given how weak I am anyway - but it doesn't seem to be getting any worse.
I know it's stupid not to go to the hospital, but just thinking about being there again, and people sticking needles in me, makes my brain implode. I'm not sure I can guarantee the safety of the next person who tries to stick a needle in me. I've never had a problem with needles, doctors or hospitals before, but now everything inside me rises up and screams 'NO!!!!!' if I even think about it.
I am really feeling quite demented this week. Thank God it will be over soon- I don't just want my life back, I want my sanity back.
The only comfort is coming on here and realising that everyone else is pretty much in pieces at this stage, too - and that those of you who have finished seem to be sounding much, much saner again already.
Oh how we will laugh over all this at our summer party!
love and hugs to everyone xxxxx we shall overcome xxxx
Hi Lisa. If it's any consolation what you are describing is exactly how I'm feeling. Tax has sat really heavy on my lungs too which I find really disconcerting. I've taken domperidone for the stuck feeling and it seems to have worked. Bizarly I am still eating like a horse despite feeling sh**e and not being able too taste anything. My 5th and 6th wasn't quite as bad as 4th. Make sure you rest and listen to your body.
Hamley. Good to hear from you. Sorry you've been feeling so rubbish. Nearly there. Are you having recon at same time? Have a good rest over Easter.
Morning everyone , 3rd wk good wk, my arse , is that a myth , I've felt so tired , chest aches , lungs ache, legs ache , havnt the energy to breath or do anything at all, I've took my steroids this morning so I'm hoping they give me some energy , 5th tax and C is looming tomorrow , so I'm off to have my bloods done this morning , and as for the snow I wish it would bugger off , snowing again now and I've to drive to the hospital soon , also I've got a feeling like my food is coming back up or getting stuck , it does feel better with omaprazole so I assume it's reflux , has anyone else had this , sorry im a moaning trout today feel like I've had enough today and can't believe I've got to do it again tomorrow and feel so drained already , catch up with you all later when more time , love to you all , Lisa xxx
Hamley so sorry that you have been feeling rough through this FEC. My worst was FEC x4 and I can remember posting that I felt as if I'd been clouted with a sledgehammer. FECx5 was better and I hardly noticed FECx6 apart from persistent oral thrush and bad eyes. Now 15 days post final FEC and I feel normal. Knowing it's the last treatment seems to do something to to you pschologically. I really hope you have my experience of the last FEC and that it will be kinder to you. Good luck with your forthcoming op. You've got to get strong for that.
I haven't been on for a while now so sorry for not being there for any support that was needed. FEC 5 has hit me like a brick; all the SEs have been the same this time but intensifiedby what seems like x 10, it's been almost unbearable and today (day 14) has been the first where I have even felt human. I hope FEC 6 next Friday will not be so unkind, but even if it's not, it's the last cycle so I'm almost looking forward to it.
I've got the date for my mx which will only be 19 days after my last chemo so I hope my bloods will be up to scratch in time.
It's great to see more people having finished their chemo now and encouraging that people are looking forward to holidays etc.. I was due to go on holiday with my Sister, Two Brothers and familys on Good Friday but I don't feel up to it and don't want to spoil it for everyone. I'm feeling really sorry for myself at the moment, but there'll be other opportunities some time soon.
Hugs to all and good luck with all upcoming appointments.
H144 - I think we must have been posting together and crossed. Congrats on being poisoned for the last time. I'm 15 days post final FEC now and "hey" I feel normal, although I soon get brought back down to earth when I lookin the mirror, but that's another story. It's a great feeling though, isn't it. I described it as being let out of prison when I left the chemo room for the last time. Catzoo - hope the operation went according to plan and that you're feeling ok. You've done chemo, you've done the op. so you're getting there.
Cybele - hope the bug is under control. Did you mix with a lot of people at the David Bowie event. Maybe you picked up something there. I was terrified of infections and lived mainly like a hermit during treatment. You are so close to the end now that you don't want any nasties thank you very much!!!!
Cressida - glad that you are feeling well enough to post again - hope the imrovement continues. QD. I had Nystatin for oral thrush, but after the first two FEC Nystatin wasn't clearing it. Onc put me on Fluconzole 50mg capsule one a day for 14 days. This is much better but it still takes about 12 days to clear. My oncologist said that I could take the Fluconzole 150 mg tablet which you can buy for thrush in the nether regions. She said that would also work. This is a once only capsule for systemic thrush. Don't know whether it is still available over the counter. Used to be sold as Diflucan. However, you can buy Fluconzole 150 mg once only capsule on line at Chemist Direct. Quick delivery - next day I believe, and only costs about £3. Sometimes I prefer to buy my meds this way than make a doctor's appointment, have to get there and then sit in a waiting room of germs, which none of us need at present. Hope this helpss. I sympathise with you. I've had thrush all the way through not justg around the mouth but right down my throat as well and it's nasty. Makes your mouth feel slimey and dirty. I got through bottles of mouth wash as it was the only thing that made my mouth feel clean.
Jenny - I had terrible joint pains with my 1st taxotere and could bareley walk. I told my oncologist & for the 2nd and 3rd cycles, as with lMandy, they reduced the dose by 20% & I take Cocodamol or Tramodal regularly- before the aches start - and it has been much better. I still ache a bit & walking up stairs is hard but it doesn't hurt nearly half as much & is bearable.
Mandy - good luck with the rads.
Maire - must be good to know rads nearly finished - light at the end of the tunnel.
Cressida - you have had rubbish luck it shoulds have never have taken so long to get help. I'm glad that things are getting better know. good idea to plan for that much needed holiday.
Lolly - sorry you've been feeling so sick - hope it's better now.
Shellebelle - it's a shame that you can't get the chemo with the taxones but at lewast the difference is minimal & you can continue with treatment.
QD - hope your Mum is doing well. I have been having problems with my eyes as well & hoping it will sort itself out when this poison is out of my system. Also hope that the thrush is improving.
Border Collies - I have just finished my FEC 6 as well - it's a good feeling isn't it. Good luck with the rads.
Cybele - I do hope that your temperature has gone down & there's no infection.
I had my final chemo last Friday. Still on the steroids so SEs not too bad at the moment the main problems being the aching joints & sewer mouth. Fingers crossed it stays like this but the great thing is knowing that whatever SEs I get they are going to be the last from the chemo & I won't be suffering another cycle! Saw the oncologist & surgeon & I am to have WLE & full ANC - no date yet but probably end April. Then it will be 4 weeks of rads. The lump has shrunk so not a MX. I am more worried about the ANC & possibility of lymphodemia.
Maire - great that you have nearly finished rads. Looks like you are the one that has to start the planning of the christmas party.
Michelle - Congrats on not being allergic to your treatment. Must be a relief to be getting on with it.
QD - Hope your mum is doing OK and your thrush is under control. Remember the Nystan. Tastes lovely and worked for me. I know some people had pills - I am sure they will come on and remind us what. It just occured to me that you don't say which end you have thrush.... not sure Nystan works on the nether regions....
Jenny - I had terrible pain from Tax. Demand proper pain killers - Codeine at least, but try Tramodol, at least at night. Have to be honest and say that none of them stopped the pain but they did send me off to sleep, which is almost as good. Some people managed with paracetomol, but these people were not in proper pain! Don't be fobbed off.
Mandy - good luck with rads. Do let us know how you get on with genetics. I am waiting for my result with everything crossed. I don't think it is possible to know why this happened to us, but I am terrified of a positive result as then I need to contemplate more surgery. More surgery means more things could go wrong. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong so far.
Like Maire, my first Tax seemed awful but they reduced my dose for the last two by 20% and it was a lot better.
Apart from a skin reaction and feeling like i was going to get the flu, i seem to have back ache, but have had this since diagnosis.
If you feel it's too much, speak to your onc. It's a fine line between good and bad and my onc did say that there was a limit that we should endure before it becomes harmful.
Jenny-I had 3 lots of taxotere with cyclophosphamide. The first one was bloody awful. I did not think I could cope with more but once I started to feel better things resolved very quickly. The 2nd 2 were unpleasant but much better than the first. Knowing what to expect and that it would resolve over a few days made it much more bearable.
QD good to hear from you!!!!
Trying to snow here in east yorkshire too.
I have packed my little ones off for the first week of the hols as i overcome the SE's of my last Tax, which actually dont feel as bad as the other 2 (or is it just we become immune to it?)
I've been a bit vacant recently and havent really kept in touch with everyone. Cress, i hope you are feeling a little better and have booked your hotel in Jersey!
I have my CT planning scan on Thursday and start in 3 weeks time...then I guess it's a case of picking up the pieces....I should be heearing from the genetics people in Leeds soon hopefully too which will put that one to rest. I still feel cross that i dont know why i got this.... i guess this is quite normal. i just hope that i get over it and get on with the rest of my life.
lots of love to all.
Just popped in from january thread to ask how everyone coped with the taxotore ive had one and had terrible bone pain i could barely walk im scared ill chicken out of next lot it was so bad annd im scared ive had an easy time till now
Well ladies, I have successfully been poisoned with Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide (neither of which I am allergic to...hurrah - can't believe I'm cheering that fact!) and so I am now on cycle 5 out of 6, discounting of course the two failed taxane attempts. I am just hoping that 5 x EC's and the 1 x Docetaxel that I did manage to get into my body before it realised what kind of nasty crap it was and refused any more, will be enough to do an effective job, especially having had a brief ceasefire in treatment when things went t*ts up (or just the one t*t in my case).
Love & hugs to all xx
Hi Folks-Only 2 more rads to go. Skin barely pink.
Only irritating chemo side effect is going from being freezing in bed at night to being clammy. Very annoying. God knows what will happen when I take Tamoxifen.
Mz-You're well on your way with the herceptin. I've only had 4. No side effects so far. How are you managing with it? Enjoy your holiday. Looks like we'll both be cracking open the Tamoxifen when we get back!
Cybele-Am enjoying your blog at the moment. So many similarities to my own journey- though thankfully I didn't have such an awful reaction to anaesthetic (Splitting headache was bad enough).
Cressida-You are sounding chirpier by the day. Really hope they come up with a decent treatment plan and that they take much better care of you next time round.
It seems a bit quiet on here - are you all lurking like me? Pop in and say hello.
Still away with the fairies on the pills. I have never slept so well in my life. I just go to bed and go to sleep. I only wake up when I need to wee. If I get some Tenna lady thingys I could just sleep all day. When I see the palliative care doc he might want to wean me off - that might be the first time I cry all week.
Arm movement continues to improve. I can raise my arm to shoulder level. Having the amusing sfx of violent twitching, so I am a bit tourettes. I already had the swearing bit.
I see many of you are struggling - it's really hard as you get close to the end but still have to carry on. The last 2 seem to take forever and seem really unfair. All you can do is keep plodding on. And plan a holiday. Squeeze it in before rads, or before surgery, or before whatever the next horrible thing they have planned for you is. Don't have to go abroad. Don't have to face the travel insurance problem. Treat yourself to a nice hotel, even for a couple of days. Stuff the expense. What are you saving it for? Just get away from it and pretend you are normal. It is essential for your mental health. Do as Cress says. You know I am right.
Now I am going back to surfing the posh hotels in Jersey. Can't book till last minute when I know treatment plans. but I can plan, oh yes I can plan.
mz6507 have a truly excellent time, and forget all about what's waiting for you when you get back xxx
Am increasingly thinking that a holiday in the sunshine is the thing we all most need right now - getting physically away will help us to get mentallyaway, out of the cancer prison.
I have so f=much felt as if i=I have been in prison for the last 6 months..
Off to the sun hopefully tomorrow. Leaving cancer behind for a week! Will still have the portacath in place to spoil all my summer tops and swimming costume. The delayed radiation treatment starts day after I get back and I guess I will finally have to open the Tamoxifen.
Radiation, herceptin 7 and tamoxifen!! All on my first day back.
Its a joy.
I've got really behind in responding to people and kind of lost track, so if I haven't replied to something, please forgive me...
Re eyes, mine have been going very blurry the lasrt couple of days, which is slightly freaking me out, but from reading everyone else's comments I gather this is not unusual, so that's reassuring.
Congrats to those who've already finished - Maire ,you seem t o be romping home, it's so cheering t oread about , and Border Collies, the whole being let out of prison thing - that's what I keep thinking. SO CLOSE NOW!
Cress, so good you are back and no longer in so much pain xx
BIG HUGS to those who are still majorly suffering , or keep having chemo postponed- it's strange, isn't it, how having your chemo delayed becomes your worst nightmare?
I am now almost completely spherical because thesteroids are making me eat so much, but theside effects were so much easier this time, it is worth it. Once i'm off the steroids and back in the swimming pool it will go...
Am finding fatigue much worse this cycle.Since Friday I've been so tired, so weak, finding it really hard to do anything. But It's day 10 now, so should start picking up soon.
I just can't wait for FEC6 now - roll on a week on Thursday...
Lisalouw - My perspective definitely changed once I had FECx5. Side effects apart from mouth and eyes were almost non-existant and I felt a sense of freedom looming. The light at the end of the tunnel was now beaming brightly and FECx6 came around surprising quickly. When I left the clinic after the final FEC I felt as if I just been released from some sort of prison. A good feeling - hope the time goes quickly for you too.
Border collies , I had visions of a burly tattooed man with a needle also ha ha , the eye thing sounds awful and do hope it all settles down after chemo out of your system , I've got another 2 sessions to go , 5th hopefully due this thurs , 2 too many at the moment it's dragging xxx
i hope this post posts if you see what i mean because my last 2 havent!
I am getting horrendous eye problems. I seem to have a memory that someone said they saw "bees" in their eyes - or did i imagine it? well im seeing "bees" in my eyes. horrid!
My mom is healing - but very slowly. I managed to see her just before i was nuked on wednesady. She is going to be moved to an oap rehab place soon At nearly 95 she will be the oldest woman the hos have ever sent!
Lisalouw the tattooing is nothing to worry about. They put a small permanent black dot, in my case, in between the breasts and one each side of the breasts. This apparently helps them to zap you in exactly the same place each time. Some people on here said that the tattooing was painful and I had visions of being approached with a large tattooist's needle and a black dot between my breasts replicating a large blackhead! In truth, in my case, is wasn't really a tattoo at all. They merely put some permanant ink on my skin and then said "small scratch coming" and that's exactly what it was. No pain and the ink just seeped into the scratch and they wiped off the excess. Actually a blind man would be glad to see them they are so minute. My eyes have been a problem all through chemo and are still playing me up on 11th day past FECX6. They have been sore and red throughout, easing a bit toward the end of each chemo and I've had blurred vision and my vision seems to have altered somewhat. I did speak to my oncologist about this and asked if it were permanant and she was qquite emphatic that it was a side effect and told me definitely not to go rushing off for an expensive eye examination as things would settle down in time. Just hope she's right. How far off rads are you?
Well the bloody snow is here again , it seems never ending this winter doesn't it , it will be another snow walk this afternoon with my little boy , I went for complementary therapy on thurs so had a very lovely massage , I just can't seem to be able to relax no matter how much I concentrate on my breathing stupid thoughts pop in my very busy head , very annoying , I had my bloods done while I was there which was fine as I mentioned I've been getting short of breath , so I'm on yet more antibiotics as a precaution just in case something lurking , I'll be so glad not to have to take so many tablets , and I think I'll have to wean myself off co codamol as I seem to be on them all the time for various aches and pains , can't wait for summer when all this is over and do you think we will get kicked off this site when we all done or will we all be able to pop in from time to time to keep in touch x
cybelle , really glad the drugs are working and you enjoyed Bowie , sound amazing , your plans of delaying rads seem a good idea and your pics of your old home look like a dream , it will do you the world of good x
marie, glad everything going well and your coming to an end of your rads x
lolly, so sorry you feeling dizzy all time , must be horrible , my eyes get abit blurred which I'm putting down to chemo, well I put everything down to chemo! Hope it wears off soon , have you spoke to the oncologist about it x
shellebelle, I can't think of anything worse than going for chemo twice and not having it , no wonder your feeling drained and fragile , I think we all would , lets hope you get back on track on mon, thinking of you x
mandy, yeah!!! On your final chemo and normality round the corner for you x
cressida, thank god someone finally took notice of you and you got some pain meds that work x
bordercollies, glad your rads planning went ok, I can't wait to get to that stage, what's the tattoo thing? X