Starting Chemo in December.2012

[Border_Collies]

Morweena - sorry to hear you'ver been feeling under the weather. I too went through the upset tummy stage and in retrospect I think it was all down to emotional stress. By the time I got to my last chemo and right through rads I totally lost confidence in myself and in doing things that I've been doing all my life. I was only really comfortable with myself when I was at home. Emotional melt downs happened over the silliest things and I began to think that I was losing it completely. I didn't even have the confidence to drive when in life before BC I would drive happily from one end of the country to the other.

Had 15 rads which were very easy and it was only when I was about 8 weeks post chemo that my confidence gradually started to return. Each thing I accomplished on my own was a major step forward for me and now about 12 weeks post chemo I feel as if I'm nearly back to normal.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that treatment for this awful disease takes away our identity, we don't even look like ourselves while we're having it and our confidence goes too leaving stress and anxiety. However I'm proof that it does get better but for me it only happened once I started to look like the person I used to be, i.e. hair thin patches filling in, eyelashes and brows growing, red eyes diminishing and energy returning. Now I'm good and I know you will be too. Take care, you're almost there.
B

[Guest user]

Hi everyone, so much for the sunny day we were ment to have. hertfordshire has been cold and grey all day. Marie - made me laugh...i have been depsperate to dye my 1cm of white hair, but my sister did point out that i was likely to dye my head insted. almost surprised she mentioned it before i did it! sisters eh! Mind some of the hair is black. i have never been black!
to anyone still feeling down, it does get better and you do get fitter. I am just back from a few days visiting my son near Chester, and surprised myself by how much i was able to do, walking horseriding , staying up late! Even 2 weeks earlier i dont think i would have done so much, but it just creeps up on you.

[Morwenna]

Good morning from me, and good afternoon to you probably!

Yes I have 3 more weeks of Paclitaxel then I'm finished, but this is the tough part. I think I am physically and emotionally drained. I seem to have a permanent upset tummy, the last couple of weeks, although the plus side is I actually managed to lose some weight! 🙂

I'm full of anxiety and lost confidence in my stupid body, and don't feel like I am nearly out of the woods yet. I still had rads to go, starting in July.

Seeing the post about beetroot scalp, maybe I will delay colouring my sparce white locks!!!

Jenny, sorry you didn't get a response in January Jems re rads. I expect that's because you are ahead of us there!!

[Cybele]

Hi all.

I seem to have become very uncommunicative which is odd, considering that I blogged daily to the world for 134 days of chemo. I just feel very tired, mentally.

Had 8 doses of rads, 7 more to go.

hope you're all doing OK xxx

[Trisha_51]

Hi Jenny, can't help about the brows and lashes as didn't have any chemo but your question about rads caught my eye. Rads are very doable. I was one of the lucky ones and had virtually no SEs, just a little reddening of the skin and an itchy rash which only lasted a few days. The radiologists will tell you which cream they prefer you to use, some say aqueous cream others E45 or Aloe Vera whichever it is slap on copious amounts 3 or 4 times a day and go topless as much as you can. A lot of radiology depts don't like you to use deodorants on the side being zapped, others recommend ones to use, once again yours should tell you, same with which soap, shower gels they prefer you to use. The effects of rads continue after treatment - you'll go on cooking for a couple of weeks afterwards. Make sure you keep on slapping on the cream for a good few weeks after you've finished rads to keep skin nicely moisturised. Some ladies do find the skin breaks down, often under the affected boob particularly if they are well endowed, about ten days after rads have finished, hopefully you'll get guidance from your radiologists on what to do if this should happen. At each appointment they'll ask you are, do tell them about any changes to your skin or any other effects you think rads might be having on you and they'll advise you what to do. My team were brilliant, so friendly, helpful and chatty and made me feel totally relaxed about the whole experience.
hope this has been of some help, all the best, Pat x

[jenny5931]

Hi
Im really in january Jems but not had any feedback to my post, im starting rads tuesday ad im nervous about it what are the side effects?
Also when does hair eyelashes eyebrows start to grow, my hair is just like fuzz (white fuzz) and i can feel hair on eyelids but not see it.
jenny xx

[Border_Collies]

Hamley the story of your "rude bits" really made me giggle. It's the same for me. I've kept a lot of my own blonde hair but the regrowth is a dismal grey (now dyed I'm pleased to say). However the nether regions have come through a lovely silky baby blonde - a colour I'd be proud to show to the world if I didn't know I'd get arrested. it really is Sod's Law isn't it?

Maire - I didn't have any problems with Naturtint. Has it actually coloured your scalp as well as the hair?

Lisalouw - glad the op is over and you're feeling a bit better. I agree that waiting for results is awful.

Cress - How did the meeting with the psychotherapist go?

B

[Mindy63]

Lolly-should have listened to your advice and left the dye until my hair was a bit longer. I used a naturtint rinse and my head looks like I've poured vimto/beetroot juice over it. NOT a good look!

[Mindy63]

Lolly-should have listened to your adice and left the dye until my hair was a bit longer. I used a naturtint rinse and my head looks like I've poured vimto/beetroot juice over it. NOT a good look!

[lolly123]

Good afternoon to you all, what wonderful weather we have today, make a bit difference to how it makes you feel.
Just been for Rads and seen the Radiotheropist Consaltant, she was pleased with my progress as i have no problems with the skin (so far) i am using Aquious Cream (cant spell it ) and all is going VERY well, but got to keep up with the cream as rads has a slow build up as you go.
I am on Tamoxifen and not sure but i seem to be giddy quite a bit ,been told to take it at night instead of morning, has anyone else had this problem if so when do you take yours?
As for my hair going leave it for a while as still a bit thin dont want to dye my scalp lol, so will wait untill i have a bit more.
For all of you that is still suffering from operations hope you feel better soon, and take care, got to get better for our christmas Party in the summer
sending luv n hugs to you all
Lolly
x

[Cressida]

Morning Ladies,

Glad you feeling a bit better Shellebelle. Rads might be "the easy bit", but it's still yet another assualt on our poor knackered bodies. I think it is actually a lot more serious than they make out. They put you in a bank vault and nuke you for Gawd's sake. It's not a picnic. Be kind to your self. You need plenty of time to recover.

Maire and Border Collies - I too have the freezing cold thing. Hot flushes seem less now, but still a very sweaty betty in bed. I am not on any treatments. Just chemopause. I am sure I have read/heard that you can really feel the cold for about a year after chemo. Good job it is summer. . BC - really hope yur daughter's results are boring, unremarkable cyst. Can't imagine how your mind must be working overtime after what we know.

Hamley - feel free to tell us about your lady bits. If you want me to join in and share tmi then you know you can rely on me. I have a baldy bit in the middle. Does that make you feel better? Glad the gentle exercise thing worked out - I second that - QD - don't push them. Ask the physio if she has had a boob removed. I think the main thing is not to over protect the arm. Use it as normally as possible and keep the artificial exercises gentle.

Lisalouw - glad you feeling a bit better. Watch that sunshine - remember that we are very sun sensitive after chemo. If you are in the southern end of the country I think we are due a few days of sun. Whoop. You need to cover up though. Boo.

As for me, I finished the red wine and pringles last night. Today I am going back to see the cancer psychotherapist, so I will be bawling again as she drags me out of denial and makes me think about how sh*t it all is. Oh well, it must be good for me in the long term. Is it? Anyone?

xxxxx

[Lisalouw]

Hello everyone , I had my cavity shave on weds and was home the same day , still feeling abit off it and sore , taking my pain meds to help , but my stomach suffering abit , have my dressing changed mon and results on thurs , gulp ! I hate the wk wait for results , I was very brave this op as the first one I was a sobbing wreck ! I'm trying to catch up with everyone's posts , so many so I apologise if I miss anyone , had a message from bcc website saying I swore on a post, ooops, I can't find the swear word though , I only lasted an hr on the meal, felt sick and too warm , was nice to get dressed up though and my ferret thatch made me look abit like I used to do , long brown hair but so so warm xxx
marie, well done on the race, I'm hoping to do it next yr with my friends x
cress , glad you feeling abit better and your stomach recovering x
QD, how you feeling? Better I hope x
shellebelle, oh no can't believe they found something else but these things often go unfound so much better its discovered now , hope your panic attacks have ceased , must be everything catching up with you x
morwenna, my hands and feet went numb with tax they are slowly getting better and I have paraffin wax treatments which help and a few of us had dental problems , I had mine packed a few times to last me through chemo, make sure you have your bloods checked before any treatment x
bordercollies, hope everything goes well for your daughter , it must be a worry , I'm a born worrier too x
cyebelle , fantastic news on the weight loss and glad you had a good hol x
im sure I've burnt my face in garden , been sat outside doing this and now it feels sore!

[hamley]

Hi to ladies who don't mind if I say something a bit rude! I've been examinging my hair regrowth, which is going reasonably well even though it could never be fast enough. I've discovered that although the hair on my head is considerably greyer than it was when I had it shaved off, my ladygarden has no grey at all. It's really dark. Why couldn't it have been the other way round??? Thanks for listening, not many people would have volunteered and I needed to tell someone other than my OH who thought it monumentally uninteresting.

Maire, I'm having very similar SEs to Tam as you are, but it happens in the day time as well. I can steam the windows up in the car within seconds of a flush coming on. Thank heavens for air con.

Michelle, I'm glad to read you're feeling better. We are aware that rads isn't so bad as chemo, but it's still a lot to go through so take care of yourself.

Cress, pringles and red wine sound fab. I'll bet they taste all the better for not having been edible for so long. It's great to read you're starting to recover now.

QD, I hope the dressing change went well. That's interesting about the dizzyness, I had that too and thought it was because I'm such a wuss. I found that exercises are much more comfortable without. Cress told me to take care of myself and not push to hard with the exercises after surgery. She was right, although they say to do them 3 times a day I found that it hurt. When I did them less frequently and didn't push myself so much it got easier more quickly. I'm 1 month post surgery now and have full movement although my skin still needs to feel more stretchy.

Morwenna, I hope you're feeling better. If there's anything to be reassured of by this thread, it's that we are all gradually, slowly but surely getting better. It takes soooo much time but you'll get there.

Sarah, the WLE sounds like it's going to be worth while to me, just to feel you've done all you can to be safe. Enjoy the festival, sounds like it'll be fun.

Lolly, you finished chemo just before me, how long are you going to give it before colouring your hair?

[Border_Collies]

QD - hope the dressing change wasn't too painful and that the dizziness and blurry vision is on the wane. As if there wasn't enough to put up with!! Hope your husband gets lucky with the job. Must be a worrying time for both of you.

Cress - sounds like you're feeling a bit better if the red wine is getting a bashing. Cheers!

Shellebelle - It's good that your oncologist is sympathetic to your problems and hope what she suggests does the trick, after all our bodies can only take so much in one go. Hope you feel better soon.

Maire - it must be awful not being able to get a good night's sleep. I'm not on any meds but remember well the night sweats when I was going through the change. I imagine this is similar. Boiling one minute then feeling frozen. Talking of frozen - I've felt like that all this winter, always cold even when everyone else is not. Read on here somewhere that it's something to do with chemo after effects.

Hi Morweena - how far in are you with your treatment? Try Rapidlash on the eyelashes, it's wonderful. Mine are really long again now and it's only taken about 5 weeks.

Lolly - I cold capped so kept a lot of hair but had masses of the soft baby fine grey hair showing through my original blonde. I have just used Naturtint from Holland & Barrett and it's done a great job. Dyed the grey to match the blonde and it look so much better, makes you feel more human. Good luck with yours.

Got signed off by Radiotherapy oncologist today who was most impressed because my skin never showed any signs of being zapped. Told him I'd used Aloe Vera throughout but had been moisturising the breast on the advice of my BC nurse since the surgery dressing were removed last November. In fact the Aloe Vera even seems to have wiped out the surgery scar.

Bit worried now because my daughter has to have a breast lump removed next Thursday. She had a cyst aspirated last October and they told her if it filled up again they would have to remove it. Well it refilled and although they say it's just a cyst I shan't be completely happy until she gets the histology report back. I've had at least ten cysts in the past, all aspirated, but the last one was BC and you just can't help worrying. Both son and daughter well grown up now but they're still my babies and I'm a natural born worrier.

Sorry if I've missed anyone. Hope you are all doing better.
B.

[Mindy63]

I like the sound of your oncologist Shellebelle-seems to be talking a lot of sense. I'm now into my second month of Tamoxifen and I think it does take a bit of getting used to. I find that I can't sleep as easily. One minute I'm freezing, the next I'm clammy. Last night I went to bed with socks and a hat on and I didn't get too cold. Think maybe I'm losing heat through my head due to sparseness of thatch! Also find it hard to switch off. All sorts of songs are racing through my head no matter how tired I am. I do eventually fall asleep but don't think I'm dreaming as much-then I struggle to get up in the mornings, unless I'm on a day off when I wake at 5! I blame it on all on Tamoxifen.
Cressida-Glad you've got your taste for red wine back. That is a def. plus! As for running/walking-I only had 4 chemo doses so prob not as washed out as those who had more...like yourself!
Qd-hope dressing change went well. It must be so hard to put up with the after effects of surgery after chemo. Fingers crossed for your husband!
Morwenna-sounds like you're having a hard time. Are you getting near the end of your chemo? It's the hardest part. Go easy on yourself.
Sp-How many more herceptin treatments are you due to get? I'd def get the tumour removed if I was you-just one less thing to worry about. Enjoy the festival. I'd go for 'glamping' rather than rough camping!
Lolly-Have not got round to dyeing hair yet maybe tomorrow-got to get rid of this blinkin' wig soon.
Hope everyone has a good weekend with lots of healing sunshine to make us all feel better.

[shellebelle]

A very quick fly by to say I'm feeling a bit better this evening, thank goodness. The dizzy spells I have been suffering were becoming more frequent and more severe so after speaking to my Oncologist yesterday, she suggested I stop taking Tamoxifen for a couple of weeks until Radiotherapy is finished with and I'd had time to recover. Her opinion is that my body is just saying it's had a battering and needs more time to settle down before throwing another treatment like Tamoxifen into the mix. Will restart it, perhaps splitting dose into 2 x 10mgs a day and if that doesn't suit then they'll swap to something else. Jeez, my body really does seem to fight against being messed with 😞
Border Collies thank you
QD hope you feel better each day that goes by and a new door opens for your hubby.
Cress glad to hear you've improved.
Hugs to everyone else xx
Michelle

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,

Starting to recover. Stomach must be happier because I had half a tube of pringles and 3 glasses of red wine last night. Finally I can enjoy red wine again. Over a year after FEC put me off it. Trying to get off all the pain killers so that I can see what I am up against. Joints have eased a bit, but operation "area" is still sore and painful to touch. Apparently this is just "one of those things". Hmmmm. Generally knackered and feel like I am wading through mud. Almost incredulous that you ran, or even walked, the race for life Maire.

LisaLouw - did you have your cavity shave yesterday? (who names these procedures?) How are you?

Sarah - most impressed by the plan of going to festival. Sorry to hear that the lump did not shrink, but it did not grow either, so at least it is stable. I understand the concept of getting rid of it so that the drugs can concentrate on stray nasties that might have ideas about other bits of you, where they are not welcome at all. Def make sure you enjoy the festival first.

QD - hope you are recovering. Sorry to hear about OH's job. Another prize in the sh*t cancer lottery that we seem to have entered. Hang in, and be grumpy if you wish.

Shellebelle - anxiety and lost confidence seem to be the new "normal" for many of us. Our bodies have become inherently untrustworthy. We have no control, and now yours has decided to throw more sh*t at you. When are you seeing the heart people? Really hope it is something that can be sorted without too much grief. Major hug for you, xxx

Love to everyone enduring rads or dealing with surgery, x

Oh, and hello to Morwenna - I coloured my hair with Wella fresh, but beware if your scalp is still showing as you don't want a purple head. It's an American product so should be available in Canada, or you can buy on internet. I had the hairdresser do it because, lets face it, we all deserve a treat.

[QueenDrama]

hi all

I'm up early today becasue its dressing change at the hosptal. I hope they just take them all off because they pull when I do my exercises. Ive been feeling very light headed, sick, dizzy and eyes blurred. So I googled and apparently thats "Normal". well it might be normal but its horrid and I wish it would go away! Tomorrow my husband joins the ranks of the unemployed. He applied for a job yesterday at a local funeral directors!

Shellbelle - how are you today?
SP - enjoy the festvial!
Border Collies - how you doing?
Morwenna - I think several of us had dental probs on chemo. I had a filling which split after chemo 4 and wasnt allowed to deal with it until my chemo had finished. i also lost all the eyelashes bar 1 on left eye (what are you supposed to do with 1 eyelash!!!) and 75% on right eye. however i actually wore mascara for the first time on Sunday. my new eyelashes are tiny but theres some there!!! And yes emotions run high. Ive now stopped worrying if I upset/offend anyone. if they cant see that im suffering - and make allowances then theyre the ones withn the problem!!!!

Hugs to all

QD x

[Morwenna]

Hello girls!

I'm just having a sneak-a-peek from the January Jems. I was just interested to see how you were all doing since you have finished chemo, so I read through the last few pages.

I'm on weekly Paclitaxel (Taxol) now, and had my 9th of 12 today. To start off I found it really easy compared to the AC I had been on for four 3-week cycles, but the effects are cumulative, and last week I only really had one good day, then overdid things in a deep water workout, and felt rotten ever since. Oddly I feel much better right now, but probably because I'm pumped full of IV dexamethasone!!

The final straw was a molar broke on Monday! Have any of you had dental issues?? My toes and heels are numb, but I have quite a covering of 1cm of snowy white hair, with a little greyer on top, which is quite upstanding so lots of shiny scalp showing! I look like my brothers! I have been considering a wash-in, wash out bright colour, so interesting to read about you guys'! 🙂 My brows and lashes are more or less AWOL.

I'm fed up with being such an emotional wreck, with zero confidence. I'm procrastinating about returning to the UK between chemo and rads (from Alberta, Canada). I'm really nervous about it, and when I told my friend, (who happens to be a cancer nurse here, so I thought she'd get it), she looked surprised, and said, "that's not like you!". Well girlfriend, that's just it. I don't #feel like me just now!

I'm going to a counselor who will see me through and beyond the end of treatment. I've only met her the once, but she seems to know exactly where my head is, and I think they are going to be a fantastic help (Calgary Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation).

Anyway, sorry about the essay. I do that. Thank you all for leading the way, and helping to show us that we are not crazy!!

Hugs to you all! xxx

[Border_Collies]

Shellebelle- sorry you're having such a rotten time. I had a couple of anxiety attacks during chemo and they are very unpleasant and scarey. Sorry also to hear about the aneurism (as if you hadn't enough to worry about) but at least now you know about it and can have the appropriate treatment. If it hadn't been found it could have given you reel problems in the future. Good luck when you see the cardiovascular surgeon.

SP - disappointing about the tumour no having changed at all but hope you enjoy the festival.

QD - hope you're feeling stronger today.

[SP0]

Marie - well done for brave bald triumph. I agree, others not mad enough to attempt run so soon after chemo!
QD - Hang on in there during recovery.
Cress / Lolly - I'm almost starting to wish I had 1 cm of hair I could dye pink or purple, you make it sound so appealing!
Cybele - inspiring to hear you're feeling stronger, hope to get there soon
Shellebelle - that's rotten luck, or maybe good that it caused them to find it early. I sympathise on anxiety, I've struggled with it too, amongst other strange psychological effects after chemo, getting less now.

I had a breast ultrasound today, no change on the size of tumour in 6-8 weeks after chemo, on Herceptin. So that's leading me to think the WLE surgery is wise after all, despite secondaries... Going to wait until after the Isle of Wight festival though, as I'm just starting to feel strong enough to cope with rough camping, drinking & music!

Sarah.x

[QueenDrama]

Oh Shellebelle you poor thing. have got everything crossed for you.

QD X

[shellebelle]

Hi everyone. Glad to see most of you getting back to some sort of normality and enjoying life. Well done Marie on your run - perhaps you didn't see many other baldies was because many of them weren't up to that kind of physical activity just yet? I know I`m not!
Have actually felt worse since finishing chemo, which is really disappointing. Am half way through radiotherapy and have been suffering anxiety attacks which are really horrible. Some scary episodes, one of which landed me in A&E and had tests for possible heart attack or pulmonary embolism. They were ok but the CT scan did find something else to now worry about - a splenic artery aneurism which I'm told is rare. Am now being referred to Cardiovascular surgeon.
Feel like I move one step forward and 5 steps back :
Anyway, less of the moaning. Take thing easy QD and don't push too hard. Good luck with hair colouring those being daring and lots of love sent to all.
Michelle x

[QueenDrama]

well done Maire!!!

hope everyone is ok.

im shattered! worst day since op .. maybe ive done too much cos i didnt feel too bad but feel v light headed today. roll on tomorrow! x

QD x

[lolly123]

well done Maire on Race for Life xx i have about the same amount of hair as you, lets us know how the colour goes, as might try it myself.
lolly
x

[Mindy63]

Can you spot me? I'm the slighly cynical looking baldie one!

[Mindy63]

I must admit I felt quite exposed going wigless. I've only got about a cm of hair and some of it is quite white so it looks quite sparse. I thought there'd be loads of women like me but I didn't see anyone else who'd obviously just been through chemo. Anyway today I went out and bought a naturtint non permanent colour and I'm going to give it a go. Wearing a wig has just become such a pain. I'm being very sensible and am doing a skin test beforehand so will not be dying for 48 hours. Will let you all know how i get on.

[hamley]

Well done Maire! How did you feel going wigless? I hope the sun popped through for you after all that effort.

[Border_Collies]

Way to go Maire! Congrats for the race.
B

[Mindy63]

Race done and dusted! Legs a bit wobbly. Off to do some gardening and hoping sun will peak through and I might even treat myself to a glass of something chilled and bubbly later!

[Border_Collies]

QD - hope you are doing ok after the op. Know what it's like to be desperate to produce a wee to avoid the dreaded catheter.
Cress - hope you're feeling better now. You seem to be having more than your fair share of poorliness and boo to missing out on the party.
Maire - well done on the weight loss and good luck for the Race for Life. Should make you lose a bit more!!

Cybele - welcome back and well done on leaving 12 lbs of you in Turkey.
Hamley - here's to a drier night's sleep!!

Have to see rads onc on Thursday for final check up and next week my lovely lady surgeon for my first check up since chemo. Then I think I see her every three months for a while. Can't believe I'm at the end of this journey. When I was dx this time seemed a lifetime away. Now I'm there and best of all I've still got hair! Have a good weekend everybody and enjoy the sunshine.
B

[hamley]

Cress, sorry to see you've been poorly again, you really seem to be in the firing line. I'm sure your hubbie will forgive an uneventful birthday under the circumstances.

Cybele, congrats on the weight loss, that's fantastic, especially while on holiday. It's great to read you're feeling so much better and healthier. I've been told by my onc not to go swimming through rads because my scar is still relatively new so not to chance it. I was really looking forward to it. Boo.

Lolly, it's good to hear from you again and well done on rads so far. Hopefully Tam won't be as bad as any of us were expecting, although the hot flushes are bad enough!

Maire, well done on the swimming and good luck for the Race for Life.

QD, sounds like you op day wasn't straight forward, but at least you're home now. Well done.

I've got my date for my 2nd mx, 24th July, 1 month after rads finishes. I was hoping it would be sooner than that because I really want to get back to work and normal every day things, but ho hum. Last time they kept me in over night and said they preferred to do that. This time I'm a day patient. I don't know whether to say why have you changed your mind or just keep a low profile!!

Last night I had such bad night sweats I had to get my OH out of bed to change the sheets. I'm hoping there won't be a repeat of that tonight; I won't be popular.

[QueenDrama]

Hi all
had my op yesterday. I dont feel too bad but the pain killers are giving me rotten stomach cramps so have laid off the codeine and just taking paracetamol. I was delayed going down to the theatre (dont know why) and as I was sick on returning to the ward, and I couldnt wee for 3 hours (there were mutterings about bladder scans and catheterisations!) i was kept in overnight. Released today though!

Cybele - well done on weight loss
Cress - hope you feel better soon
Maire - good luck for Race for life
lots of love

QD x

[Mindy63]

Cressida-hope you're over your nasty bug-not fair, that is def. adding insult to injury.
Cybele- glad the swimming is going, well, swimmingly. I'm managing about twice a week, usually about 40 short lengths. No matter how tired I am (and tamoxifen is def. making me a bit tired) I always feling invigorated after a swim. Also managing to shift some weight though I would like to lose another 10lbs. Am sticking pretty rigidly to slimming world type programme. Very slow progress but getting there.
Lolly I too am desperate to dye my horrible grey hair but it's pretty short. Probably about a c.m in places. So that's taken 3 months!
Today I'm off to get Herceptin number 7-only 11 more to go after that, so I'm approaching the half way mark.
On Sunday I'm doing the race for life in Glasgow. I've done no training but it's only 3 miles so I could do a slow jog or a fast walk. I am going wigless for this as I reckon there'll be a few other baldies. Wish me luck!
Glad everyone is getting back on their feet even if the landscape looks a bit different with our post chemo eyes!

[lolly123]

hi to you all not been on here this week so lots of posts to read,
Welcome back Cybele glad you had a great holiday, we are almost at the same place with Rads i started on Monday.
Cress your hair is a lovely colour, cant wait to be able to dye mine, although i havnt got much but it is growing. Hope you are feeling much better now.
lisalou, Hope you had a good night out and enjoyed your drink. will be thinking of you on the 29th xx
I am nearly a week into the Rads, and i am feeling tired but i think that just because i have to be up early in the morning for my 8 oclock pick up, as it takes a good 50 mins to an hour to get to the hospital, but all is going well at at the moment, cant complain, its better than Chemo by a long way.
Only SE so far on Tamoxifen is hot flushes they start at 8.30 at night could almost set my watch by it, and carries on through the night, but i would prefer these SE than the chemo one.
well love n hugs to you all.
lolly xx

[Cybele]

And in breaking news....

I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a while, and discovered that I have lost 12lb since finishing chemo on April 4th, or more accurately, since the carb-craving effect of the steroids finally wore off on about April 16th or so!!!

I am beyond delighted.... mind you, given that during chemo I expanded to a size requiring my own post code, there is still a long way to go. But it's a really good start.

Just been for my second dose of rads - appointment at 10.00, out by 25 past - and walking back was very struck, again, by how strong I am feeling. Presumably I am in fact just feeling normal, but I'd forgotten normal after feeling so weak during chemo. The thing that gives me great joy is being able to walk up a flight of stairs again without thinking about it.

Am finiding it slightly worrying to be feeling so healthy, strong and cheerful again - it makes me think something else bad will happen soon.. Still, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Cress, sorry to hear that you have been struck by such a nasty bug - still, I guess that means you're losing weight, too... 🙂 And you're perfectly entitled to feel sorry for yourself - after what you've been through, a double-whammy virus is adding insult to injury.

Love to all - don't worry, I'm sure I'll stop being so nauseatingly cheerful once the side effects from the rads start to kick in!

[Cressida]

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days. Nothing serious. Not as serious as cancer, anyway. My useless immune system caught a bug. I had thought that, after chemo, I would laugh in the face of common illnesses. It turns out, that is not true. I actually think it is so unfair to have a common or garden sick & sh*t bug whilst trying to recover from cancer treatment, that I took to bed and stayed there. Even on chemo I didn't empty my stomach from both ends at once. God, I have been feeling sorry for myself. Couldn't keep my pain killers down so all the pain came back and I had to suffer the symptoms of withdrawal from my addiction too.

Feel even more exhausted now (didn't think that was possible). I missed the chance to enjoy a party with loads of old friends and now it is hubbie's birthday, and I have done nothing for him, despite him being the man who has got me through this alive. And, if I don't recover quickly, I am going to ruin his friend's wedding too. AAAGGGGHHHH. I did say I was feeling sorry for myself. Can I borrow some of that positivity Cybele?

Have dragged myself through the shower now and eaten some marmite on toast. I keep telling myself that, at least, I don't have to do it all again in 3 weeks. I just want rid of the whole feeling ill thing. It's not much to ask.

[SP0]

Cybele - go with that positive attitude! For some reason I had one for the first 4 chemo cycles & have lost it since, but it really helped.

[hamley]

Lisalou, I hope the night out was great and you enjoyed wearing the dress and heals!
Cybele, welcome back, it's great to see you on good form and that you enjoyed your holiday, a well earned rest.
QD suggested meeting up at Covent Garden. I haven't been there for years, but used to love it when I lived in Hertfordshire. My husband also wants me to get a mug with the London Underground on it from the Transport Museum there. Otherwise, our lovely London lady might be able to suggest something appropriate, Cybele?
I went to the dentist today for my 6 month check up. The lady on reception said to me, 'oh I had the same as you last year'. It turns out my OH had let them know about my bc and she is 4 months ahead of us (chemo wise). She looks fab and is really up beat about having got through the whole thing. I'm so glad I had a chat with her. She has loads of really thick and lovely hair and it's long enough to be in a relatively long short hair cut (!) already.
Where are you, Cress? It's not usual for you not to post regularly. I hope you're doing OK.

[Cybele]

Hello, everyone, I'm back!

Had a brilliant time in Turkey, chemo and cancer seemed a thousand miles away (actually they were 2 thousand miles away...)

Feeling much stronger now, and more or less normal. Got back yesterday afternoon, and went for my first rads appointment this morning, which was quick and painless - nothing compares to chemo, really, does it?

The good news is that the radiologist said that although hospital policy was that you shouldn't swim in a chlorinated pool because it might irritate the skin, in her view it was fine to go on swimming unless and until the rads causes my skin to break, in which case I should stop. So I'm going to do that.

Am anointing myself with aloe vera gel like crazy... and although I am not a great believer in 'positivity' under all circumstances, I AM going into rads with the attitude that unlike my experience of chemo, I am going to sail through rads. I feel so much better both physically and psychologically now than at any point since DX last September; it's the first time i 've actually felt capable of having a really positive attitude. Let's see if it works..

Hope you're all feeling better, too, and big hugs to those with ops coming up xxx

[Lisalouw]

I am going out for a meal !!!! What a novelty , it's my friends birthday and I've hummed and ahhed about going , and I've decided to go , I'm a little excited , and I'll be having a little drink or two , first time in months , I'm still paranoid I'll get a bug before my op , but I suppose I can't hide myself away all the time , hope it's not too warm , I don't want to feel like whipping my wig off mid meal , lv to everyone , just wanted to post as I'm giddy about putting a dress and heels on xxx

[hamley]

Maire, I'm really popular now I've left my wig off. Lots of random people want to talk to me, I think they may have guessed why my hair is this way and want to be kind, but they don't mention the 'C' word. Now the reason for no hair has passed, I feel quite liberated and proud of myself for getting there and am wearing it as a badge of honour! Loch Lomond and midges wouldn't seem the best circumstances to try it for the first time though!
SP, you started Tam the day after me. I don't seem to be doing too badly on it so far but dread the weight gain that some ladies have reported (including my Mum).
Lisalou, boo to the puffy face. I'm sure it will get better soon.
QD, gay's not such a bad look after all we've been through!
I went for a long walk with my OH yesterday in the sunshine, it was lovely. We went to a place called 'The Old Racecourse', an 18th century horse racing course which is virtually on my doorstep but I've never walked before, mainly because it's always raining or freezing when we get to the car park. We'll definately be going back there soon and taking a picnic.

[QueenDrama]

Coytegi - that made me giggle!
Lisalou - hope you are feeling better

I am frantically blitzing my house before Thursday. Im half nervous and half excited to be finally rid of the blumin lump! today I have gone "commando" for the first time . my darling son said i looked gay!!!!

Love to all

QD x

[Guest user]

QD i dont know what was used on my hair before op etc as my friends daughter did it, but it was a great pink! I will have to ask her to check on non chemicle dye soon. my boss is very concerned about my hair for some reason. not sure why as i am the last person to fuss with my hair ! WE decided at work that it was so he didnt have to "look" lower down!lol

[Lisalouw]

Marie, a cavity shave is where they just take a slice way from one side of where my tumour was as I had one side with an unclear margin, so I have to wait for results from that and take it from there x
I've noticed my face seems more round and puffy than it was before chemo , had a photo took reluctantly by my friend and I look like I have a ball face !!! , I'm sure it's not weight gain , cress I bet your hair looks fantastic , is it a wash out colour and do most hairdressers know of it , I'm scared to put anything on mine x

[SP0]

Hot / cold routine for me too girls, and during the day too!
Marie - may have some good news for you on the weight front. My appetite, which has been down for a few weeks now, has dwindled further since starting Taxoxifen 8 days ago.

[Mindy63]

Hamley-Sadly the nursery staff are not employed by the council so it will be the end of the line for us if school closes. Trying not to be too down beat. I could look around for something else but would like to hang on one more year till youngest is at secondary school.
Your comments re snuggling up to husband made me laugh-I'm exactly the same! The herceptin nurse I spoke to yesterday said feeling cold could be attributed to the chemo.
I haven't been brave enough to go wigless yet. I was tempted a few days ago when walking around Loch Lomond but the midgies were a bit feisty so I decided against it.

[hamley]

Maire, sorry to hear about the council closing the school. Would you be offered a job at the school the children will be moved to?
Maire, Lisalou, I'm freezing cold at night too. I've been waking up because I'm so cold, then I snuggle up to my OH, he's always warm, a couple of minutes later I'll be in a hot sweat and ten minutes after that I'll be freezing again added to the problem of my PJs being damp, it's so uncomfortable. I'm not sleeping very much at all.
QD, good luck for Thursday.
Cress, fab for purple hair. I saw a lady with very short hair that was coloured bright orange yesterday, it actually looked really good. She looked at my hair and smiled kind of knowingly and she looked at my chest with a slight nod. I nodded back, it was quite a nice moment. I wondered if she reads this website.

[Mindy63]

QD-Council trying to close the school to which nursery is attached. They ignored the results of the consultation and are proceeding to the next stage. Parents and children are devastated and we are all putting up a good fight but council are determined to plough forward. I think we've got one more academic year if we lose the fight. Bit depressing really.
Lisal-I am having the same hot/cold moments as you. I am freezin' in bed at night. So assorted mis matched pyjamas are now added to my poor post chemo body to add to the glamour. Good luck with the op-what is a cavity shave anyway?
I optimistically bought some charcoal yesterday after the warm sun popped out but, as is par for the course, today it's raining!

[Lisalouw]

Hi ladies , how are you all , I'm having good days and very tired grumpy days , I'm also very cold one min and boiling hot the next , more in bed though, my nails are white with ridges and look like they may peel off , and im still on the painkillers for sore legs and feet , im going to wean myself off them after surgery , I've actually been to a pub today to meet a few friends for the first time since diagnosis in oct , I wore my ferret wig for the first time which was a big thing for me , i cold capped but hair isnt very good but is growing back through, im sick of seeing my head in a hat , it was so nice to be normal for a few hours , I've got my surgery on 29th may , having a cavity shave , I've had my pre op , they didnt take any bloods as I had them done in the chemo unit a few days before , I've got abit of a scratchy throat at mo which I'm hoping is hay fever , how long does our immune systems get back to normal , I'm still at home with my little lad and my mum feeling better but waiting on an appt for an op herself , I'll read your posts tom to catch up as I'm off to my mums so I'll have time to read through properly , I have to write my replies down first as I've only got my phone and I forget what everyone has said ha ha , there is drilling coming from next door , I hope they stop in next hr as it will be bedtime for my son grrrr , lv to everyone xxx