Starting Chemo in December.2012

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,

Feeling a bit fed up cos I had to cancel meeting Lolly for her safety as I am still sniffing and coughing. Weedy immune system is rubbish. To be fair to it, it is trying to fight off a cold and a very serious case of cellulitis less than 2 months after stopping chemo. The arm movement, by the way, is dramatically improving. I couldn't get in a radiotherapy position, but I can do a cheery wave, should it be called for (not that I feel very f*cking cheery) .

Have my Onc appntmnt tomorrow. I have the feeling that the system is about to spit me out. No more treatment for Triple Negative me. This is quite alarming as my "normal" life is long gone. Somehow have to pull myself together and start constructing a new life. Thought it might be time to post this again, as I certainly need to re-read it.

http://www.cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604...

Well done Maire, btw, xxx

[Cybele]

'Did Ye Get Healed?': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Border_Collies]

Cassowary I was never given any reason why my chemo was given in the crook of the elbow - just that there was a "good" vein there and I never felt the chemo being pushed in. Was also on a drip all the time but I expect that is usual. I'm having my treatment privately so I was in a room with just me and the nurse and didn't get to see any other way of doing things. They did say that if the veins in my arm became difficult they would do it through the leg. I've never experienced any discomfort, soreness or pain in my veins. I had FEC 75 chemo and the same vein was used each time. Never had any leakage although they did use specially shaped plasters to go right around the canula but there again I expect that is the norm.

[Cassowary]

Border Collies,
I was told at the beginning that the chemo can't be given in the crook of the elbow. bloods are taken from there, but the nurse said that there is an increased risk of leakage (or at least I think that is wha she said). Was there a particular reason why yours started in the crook? Interested as I still have another four to go. Thanks.

[Curlytop]

Hi Sparklers like most of you I have finished my six sessions of FEC. Brill feeling not having to go to that dreaded suite again. Like you Cybele I suffered extreme fatigue. The chemo nurse recommended I take a daily dose of spa tone which is a liquid iron supplement. This has really helped me I actually did some tidying up in the garden! I also have damaged veins each time they had so much trouble finding a vein in my right arm. They used my left arm on a couple of occasions which is the side of my mx and lower lymph gland removal so I now have pain in that arm just hope lymphodema doesn't kick in. Physio suggested massage from wrist upwards this is helping.
I thought that was me finished with treatments but oncologist said on my last treatment that she was referring me for rads. This came as a complete shock as I was originally told I could not have rads as I had them 17 years ago After lumpectomy Apparently they want to treat the nodes in my collar bone area. Do I have it or not not sure what SE will be if any. I also have to take lextrozole for five years. I took this prior to my mx it did give me hot flushes again and muscle aches but not to bad. has anyone had rads on collar bone area if so how was is.
sending hugs to all still suffering post chemflex

[Border_Collies]

Maire & Cybele - you have both talked about painful veins from having FEC and you both seem to have had the canula put in the hand/wrist area. I'm interested only because I had all six FEC straight into the vein but my nurse always used the vein in the crook of my elbow where they usually do a blood test. I have had no pain or discomfort whatsoever with my veins and I wondered if the fact that it was in the elbow was the reason. Maybe others can tell us how theirs was given.
Eighth Rad tomorrow and by Tuesday week I'll be finished (unless they've got any surprises for me). Certainly feeling a lot better - I'll be five weeks post FEC tomorrow but still have mouth dryness. Eyes are improving but still get sore and red if I do too much close work. Hair is growing and beginning to fill in all the thinnest bits. Find that I do get tired quickly. Can do all my normal activities but once I sit down my eyelids feel like lead and I'm gone. Mind you I think I've still got rads fatigue to look forward to.
We are all slowly getting through it. Back in November I just couldn't picture nearing the end of all the treatment that then lay ahead of me but I'm nearly there. Hope all of you still having chemo are managing the dreaded s/e's and those having rads - keep slapping on the cream! Good luck too for all those about to have surgery.
It's been an abso-blooming-lutely wonderful sunny warm day here in Kent and I've discovered the garden again after all the rain. Sitting in the sun does wonders for the way you feel. Hope it was sunny where you were.

[QueenDrama]

cybele - i know how you feel love x

[QueenDrama]

hi girls Day 5 post LAST EVER BLUMIN CHEMO and i cant see straight and am knakered! My picc line has gone but because I had all my chemos in one vein it hurts. Supposed it would really. scan 25th apr to see what stage mr lumpy is at at and then i meet the surgeons on 29th should be chopped up sometime in may. funtimes!!!!"
Maire - glad to hear youve started on the tamoxifen. its gotta be done love!
Hamley - what a lovely treat ! go and have another
Cressida - ta for your kind words. Hope the cold is dissipating!
Lolly - good luck for the last one!

i feel very quilty. My son has had an offer from every uni he applied to. hes goiung to University of Wordcs to do primary school teacher training. Im jealous. When my daughter goes back to school tomorrow she will be into her gcse exams .im jealous. Is this totally irrational? it just seems that life is going on around me. dont get me wrong i dont begrudge my kids anything and want them to succedd but i cant help it - im jealous!

QD x

[Mindy63]

Ok, party over-lots of singing and dancing. Have absolutely no idea when I went to bed- or rather- when I went to 'couch'.
I have no more excuses and have popped the first tamoxifen. I am dreading this next part of the journey so much. Add to this my 5th Herceptin which I had on Friday and immediately afterwards had chest pains. Drat. Am going to have to tell them about that. I just hope it was a one off because I am really depending on that drug!
After popping the tamoxifen I had stomach cramps. But there is no way it could be thge tamoxifen already. I only took it 10 mins ago. I am going to be a complete nightmare about this.
Cybele-I think the fec is really tough on your veins. I only had the one and my arm is still sore over the vein from wrist to elbow. Recently I've noticed the discomfort easing. So that's taken 4 months! Though I've mostly been 'up' since finishing chemo I've had some gloomy days. We've been through so much and it'll probably years before I, personally, will be able to put it all behind me

[Guest user]

Cybelle - my doc once said to me, that the mind is a strange thing, it puts up with so much stress, but it's when we get back to 'normal' that it retaliates, I suppose this explains the meltdowns we seem to be getting after the elation of the last chemo. Not something we were expecting!! Big HUGS to you, I know just how you feel, almost three weeks on now, and it has improved. The tatoos were fine, just a scratch and they were done, though I didn't get my rose! one each side and one in the middle, they look rather like blackheads (nice?) spect in my case they'll just disappear in another roll of fat!! The nurses were lovely in the rads unit, and the place itself was bright and cheerful. Have my date for starting as tghe 30th April. Still not sure if I'm doing the right thing, volunteering for this trial, bit worried that because of MX that it may be more sore than if just had lumpectomy. Will just wait and see how things go, can always drop out if things get too bad, but don't really want to go down that road. Have next Herceptin on Thursday, this last 3 weeks seems to have flown by.Is no one else taking LETROZOLE instead of Tamoxifen? would like to know how you've got on with it. Hamley, that was a nice surprise being taken out for breakfast, it's amazing how one minute you feel fine and the next shattered. I find often when I start climbing stairs that my legs suddenly feel like lead, maybe all chemo's dropped down into them!! Lolly/Cress hope you manage to get together, make a toast to us all when you do. Maire, hope you enjoyed the party. QD, thought you'd been quiet for a while. Hope you're feeling better. Nice for your other half to at last have closure, must have been hell waiting all that time. Good that your mum is settling, 95, that's a milestone, brilliant!

[hamley]

Cybele, you go ahead and moan, that's what we're here for. I had problems with my veins, particularly the one from FEC 2 in January which still uncomfortable now. It feels like the vein is hard and shortened especially when I turn my wrist. I mentioned it to the chemo nurse and she gave me some cream called Hirudoid Cream which does seem to help. Beware, if your sense of smell is in overdrive as mine is; it smells very strong but it's worth it. Apparently the veins can take several months to feel better.
I know what you mean about the weakness; I felt like it should all be OK straight after FEC 6, but it's taking me much longer to get passed the SEs, tiredness and physical exhaustion this time. As Cress has said, we must be kind to ourselves and time will do the rest.
Lolly, it's nice to hear from you and I'm glad to hear you've managed to stay out of hospital this time, it must be a relief. Only one more to go, when's your last cycle? I think that you may be the last out of our group.
Cress, fab to getting rid of the cold so well, that's a novety on this thread. I wish I could join you on Monday, but Shropshire to Bedfordshore is a little too far.
QD, I hope your feeling better and your Mum too.
Maire, enjoy the party, have some fun for us too while you're there.
My OH took me out for breakfast yesterday morning. We have a restaurant locally which is associated with the hotel next door and they've recently started to serve breakfast to non residents due to popular local demand. It was to celebrate the end of chemo and he took me as it was the first day I've woken up not feeling horrible. That cheered me up greatly, but I was shattered by the time we got home at 11am!

[Cybele]

I am really struggling at the moment. It's day 9 after FEC6 and I still seem t o be in a state of complete physical and emotional collapse.

My arm hurts like b***ery inside, after having the last 3 doses of chemo int othe vein, and it's not getting any better- if anything it seems to be hurting more over the last couple of days. The side effects this time have just been awful - the nausea the worst since the first cycle - and above all, else I am just so incredibly weak.

I keep melting down emotionally and bursting into tears. The end of chemo is having a much bigger emotional impact than I had anticipated, and the fact it has left me as this physical and emotional wreck makes me angry.

I just feel so completely and utterly battered, in every way. YThe 'I 've finished!' exhilaration has completely disappeared, replaced by sullen resentment and anger that FEC is still torturing me. I can't snap out of it, and don't imagine I will be able to until I start feel ing better physically. And that's just not happening yet..

Not where I was expecting to be , this week..

Sorry for moaning.

[lolly123]

good afternoon to you all,
just a quick one to say i am lurking about and trying to keep up with you all, i should come on here daily as cant remember where everyone is at, but looks like we are all nearing our end of the Chemo and looking forward to drug free at end of the month, I have managed so far to stay out of hospital, and seem to have gotten over most of the SE, except i had to go to doctors yesterday with sever painfull piles, god if its not one way it's the other, been given cream and hopfully will be able to sit straight soon god what ever next will i have hopefully next FEC i will get over quick cant wait,
anyway take care all of you and hope to see Cress on Monday and anyone else who can join us.

love and hugs Lolly
xx

[Mindy63]

Cressida-yes it will be tea and scones and polite chit chat......clink clink clink.

[Cressida]

Morning All,

Very quiet. Hope you are all enjoying end of chemo. We still want to hear from you.

QD - hope you feeling a bit better. What a load of crap to deal with. I'm amazed how, once we have BC, the universe doesn't just say "well, that's enough sh*t for them to deal with, I won't give them anything else". But NO, life continues to throw sh*t at us. NOT FAIR. Well done on reaching last chemo. You can celebrate later. Impressed with your mum - you must have some of her genes for living a very long life, surely.
Reaching the end of one stage of active treatment is wierd - partly you think you should celebrate and partly you have time to think about how scary it is. You don't have time to think about that when you are concentrating on surviving a treatment. Hang in there girl, and let us know how you are getting on.

Maire - enjoy the party. I'm sure a Scottish family gathering will be a quiet and civilised affair, so you will be early to bed and up bright and early tomorrow. I will be checking in to see if you have opened that box....

Cybele - I just love that Wisteria, I wish I had seen that earlier - I would def have taken that into the chemo suite with me. Next time I have to endure anything I will close my eyes and sit under that.

Cold update - improving in leaps and bounds. Still a bit sniffy. Hope to be well enough to meet Lolly on Monday. Any of the new ladies live near Bedfordshire? Very small meet up arranged on Monday. Very small indeed if my cold has not gone. It's odd to be warning people to keep away from me in case they catch something.

xxx

[Cybele]

'Wisteria attached': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Cressida]

Before you all start talking about me or organising a face book style party at my house, I'm still here.

Jersey is a week away. The cold continues to get better and I have kept the drugging of my hubbie to the minimum for the time being. Night nurse was all it took last night. He may get more noticably whingy aver the weekend when he is not at work, so I am keeping the good stuff in reserve.

xxxx

[Mindy63]

QD-just keep reminding yourself 'it will get better' and enjoy your duvet time if you can! Glad the funeral is over and that your mum is rallying.
Cressida-Enjoy Jersey. Hope you have a relaxing, restorative time.
Coyotegi-It's great to have another one over the line! Hope the se's are manageable.
Hamley-Hope you are recovering from last chemo. Your mx seems very soon but I suppose it'll be good to get it all over with.
Today I'm getting herceptin no 5. Herceptin has been fine so far but getting more anxious about the vein finding every time. You'd think I'd be used to needles by now.
Mz and Cress-I know you are right about the Tamoxifen but I'm going to wait 2 more days and start on Sunday after my wee family party tomorrow. I'm hoping the chemopause and radiotherapy will buy me a few days. My oestregen was a 6, so moderately oestregen dependent. Might have to get one of those pill boxes with the days of the week because there is no way I'll remember to take it every day. I struggle to remember what I'm talking about half way through conversations these days.

[QueenDrama]

Morning ladies. I havent beren on here for a while but have read all posts now and will comment on the ones I can remember! The reason I havent been on is that i have just been too tired, full of malaise and quite depressed. I had my final chemo on wed. i want to feel happy but am battling se's at the mo .
Mom has taken a long time to settle at the rehab place - shes now on antibiotics for a chest infection. However she is now on the mend. wed was a significant day for her too - she was 95.
Last thursday was my MIL funeral. at last! finally my OH can now get closure.
well now comments!

Lisalou - i see a crazy eyed lady when I look in the mirror too. scary!
Border collies - i laughed out loud at your bra incident!
Lolly - hope youyre feeling better and enjoy that hol.
Cress - so you will be in Jersey now. I love that place. enjoy enjoy enjoy!
Mnady - hope youre feeling better now
Sand - thats crap news about the third member of yiur family having cancer. sending you a hug. and yes chemo makes everything smell odd. I opened all the windows this morning because i could smell onions. i hate onions and dont cook them at all. even the shower smelt of onions !
Mairie - Rome sounded fab.
sandy - definitely more shopping is required!!!
cybele - thanks for the info re tamoxifen . Have you managed to find out anything about rooibos tea if you oestrogen positive?
Sp - welcome

i think im up to date .. going back to bed now methinks cos im knackered!

QD

[Cybele]

'Doing the math..' : today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Cybele]

Hi, all - guess what?



I'm finally starting to feel a bit better.... a tiny, but discernable feeling that the tide of poison is on the turn, that it is starting to abate. Today I am not just lying on the sofa howling at the moon...


It's just as well, because I really was beginning to lose it psychologically over the last couple of days.... and now I can start to relish the fact that the poison is going, I a will be getting a little bit stronger every day, and I don't have to go back to the chemo ward and have any more feckin' FEC pumped into my veins ever again.



Maire - welcome back ,you were much missed, and it's great to hear you had such a brilliant time xx Glad to hear you have been paying your respects to my namesake - Cybele has always been my favourite fertility goddess, and I have even visited one of her very oldest temples in a tiny little village up on the Anatolian plateau in Turkey, near to Ankara.


Cressida glad to hear the cold is starting to get better - and perhaps you should write a short instructional monograph on 'The Care and Sedation of Husbands'; I'm sure it's something we would all find useful when considering questions of dosage, etc.

Sarah - EXCELLENT news about the disappearing tumours. How did your scans go yesterday?

MZ - interested in what you said about not having Tamoxifen before - why? I thought it was pretty much mandatory if you were oestrogen receptor positive.

Coyotegi - YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Lots of love and hugs to all, especially those who feeling rotten, and those who aren't on the last cycle yet - soon, soon, soon.. xxx

[Cressida]

So far so good.

Coyotegi - whoop away. It makes me smile when people get to celebrate when they have been feeling so sh*t for so long. Go for it.

Mz - keep plodding on with the rads

Hamley - 24th and day 17 seems quite quick. My surgeon told me he likes to wait 6 weeks after chemo before Mx to give the body chance to recover. So I went on holiday (of course). The other side of the coin is, that at least you are getting on with it and getting to the finish line quickly. Don't worry if you are not quite there by the 26th and have to delay a few days. The main thing is to be well enough. Hang in there.

Sarah - Yay to shrinking. We like shrinking.

I can't remember anymore - sorry if I left you out - blame the posting gremlins who keep running off with the posts.

keep on keeping on, xxxx

[Cressida]

Maire - this one is for you, so take a seat.

First of all, what a fab holiday and really glad you made the most of it. Lets hope I can enjoy myself as much.

I don't have to take Tam, so you can tell me to shut up if you want to, but - you have endured all the horrors of chemo in order to see off any nasty stray cancer cells. My understanding is that Tam is the thing that tries to stop any such cells getting their lunch and growing fat and mulitplying. I know that there is no crystal ball to tell you if you really need it or if it will really work. There is also no crystal ball to tell you what side effects you will have. You don't want to let any stray nasties get to the buffet. Open the box and let the Tam get between them and their lunch.

C'mon girl, we are all cheering you on, xxx

[Cressida]

Hi, going to keep it short in case it disappears.

The cold is actually getting better. All by itself. It's amazing. No injections, no antibiotics, no A&E, no admission, no need to monitor my temp. Thought you would like to know that some sort of normal service does resume when you stop chemo.

Only prob is that hubbie has started to cough. Now I may have to deal with man flu. This, of course, will be worse than cancer and chemo and having bits surgically removed and even cellulitis. Maybe I will slip him one or two of my pills so that he sleeps until he is better....

xxx

[Cressida]

I have emailed the moderator about disappearing posts. I wrote a long one and it has just gone up in smoke. It was hilarious and supportive at the same time.

Will try to remember bits of it and do it all again later, xxx

[Guest user]

Marie
Glad Rome was amazing.
Open the tamoxifen. I take 10mg in the morning and 10mg at night.
Its actually making me feel protected. My last BC in 2009 after chemo and radiation I didnt have tamoxifen and if I had I might not be in this position today. So taking it now is in a strange way making me feel more protected.
The thought of it is the harder than taking it. But saying that its early days! Still plodding on with the radiation treatment, might have to abandon my bra soon.
Keep well

[SP0]

Thanks for the lovely welcome.
Cressida - you're right, unusual chemo regime was for primary and secondary at the same time. Next step probably ongoing Herceptin + Tamoxifen, but I await results of scans from today to be sure. No radiotherapy at this stage as apparently it can only be given on one tumour at a time...
Cybele - I too am still struggling with worse fatigue than I've experienced so far, and I feel really down. My nose has been bleeding for 5 weeks now, and the cellulitis is extra! Hoping for progress within the next week...
Had surprising news during ultrasound scans today. My liver tunours were not visible. This is extraordinary, given the largest of several was the size of a tangerine in December! Apparently this is the effect of chemo + herceptin, but I await the CT scan results to be sure.
You all sound fabulous, hopefully I'll start to catch up with each of your stories over time.
Sarah.x

[Cybele]

'Still totally FECked...': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[hamley]

Well, the paranoia is over. They didn't make me stay in and I was just in mega panic mode. Thanks for your post, Cress, you put everything into perspective for me which I read and replied to before I went to my appointment but my post has disappeared. You were the voice of reason that I needed to hear before I went OTT. The Sister who explained a bit about what happens says I'll stay in overnight after the op and possibly a bit more like you say (drains etc.) and that I'll probably still be too knocked out from the surgery to be worried about not going home. I hope your cold improves and you feel better soon.
My mx on 24 Apr will still hopefully go ahead, but is dependant on the outcome of more bloods to be taken by my GP nurse on 22 Apr, just 17 days after FEC 6. I'm just going to wait and see what happens, if it doesn't come up to scratch then so be it, I'll just have to wait until they're OK and try to keep my head.
Cybele, we'd best not sit on the same end of a bench for the upcoming party, we may well upend it because I'm getting a fat bum! I've eaten some much consolation chocolate it's untrue (usually with Turkish Delight in it). It was 2 sausage sandwiches for tea today too.
Maire, it sounds like you had a lovely holiday, that's great and I can't say I blame you about the Tam, but don't put it off for too long.
SP, sorry you had to see my panic moment as you walked in our door. Welcome to the fold.
Bordercollies, I'm defo going to remove my bra before rads now. I might not bother putting one on in the morning just in case!
Coyotegi, congrats on finishing, it's fantastic that you've got there and can look forward to the rest of your life now.
Hugs to all, I'm off to bed early tonight.

[Guest user]

Im really sorry for everyone not at this point but I AM FINISHED WITH CHEMO!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP. LAST BLOODY TAX TODAY. NO MORE NASTY CHEMICLES IN MY ARM AGAIN
and no rads or tamoxifen either sorry WHOOP WHOOP

[Border_Collies]

Maire - welcome home. I'm so envious, I bet Rome was warm and wonderful. You sound as if you made the most of every day and thoroughly enjoyed yourself. I just hope you brought the sunshine home with you.

[Mindy63]

Oh and one last thing on the alpha male medics. I came across one of this species when in labour with my third child. Having puked with every contraction (as with all my labours) an alpha male anaesthetist that was visibly pissed off when I couldn't answer his question re previous operations (I was mid contraction and could not breathe let alone talk) made me so angry I still visualise punching him more than once in the stupid, arrogant face 10 years later.
The only other species that can rival the above is the breast feeding stasi.

[Mindy63]

Hi All,
Arrived back from Rome early this morning and have now caught up with all your news. I have both laughed out loud in the last hour or so (at BC's bra lobbing-so, so funny) and cried (at Cybeles Ode To Joy link). I know I should be unpacking and generally de-holidaying but needed to catch up with all the news on here.
Shellebelle-last I heard you were feeling ill. Hope you are recovering now-you've gone quiet. Fingers crossed for you.
Lolly-Sounds as though you are having a really horrendous time. Even if you're last in the chemo queue it just means you will have a bigger, happier group waiting for you at the finishing line!
Mz-Hope the Tamoxifen is ok. I am still too scared to open the packet and, I know, I was going to start after my holiday but I am going to wait a little longer...just till after a wee family party on Saturday. God I'm such a coward.
BC-Your bra lobbing made me laugh so much! Hope you are feeling a wee bit better you've had a rough time of it.
LisaL-How anyone copes with chemo and an ill mum is just beyond me...and neuropathy...and sore teeth.
Hamley-Am cheering you on from laptop land. You've finished! If it's any consolation my sister's recent reconstruction looks amazing. It's not been easy for her but her breast looks really good to me!
Sand-You sound low. The whole weight thing is a nightmare. My sister has recently started slimming world and has lost masses of weight. I'm still resisting because I keep hoping I can shift the weight on my own but if not I will be signing up. It really does seem an amazing weight loss system.
SP-Welcome and please join in and post here and please come to our party.
Cressida- By God that holiday will be well deserved. Just hope the powers that be come up with some brilliant plan to sort out your arm problems when you get back. Throughout this experience your posts have always made me laugh...right up to the salt sprinkling!
Cybele-Just caught up with your blog and was thinking about your last Fec when in Rome. I was very close to your namesake's temple but kids were all 'ruined' out and I had to be dragged away from the Forum to provide ice cream. I, of course, had wine. Things are tough for you now but you're at the end of the worse bit and you've made it through. Do not listen to any Demon's insistence that holidays are ill-advised. I was worried that I would be tormented by post radiotherapy fatigue and skin ailments but I was fine and am so glad I didn't postpone my trip.
So, Rome was great. I was worried that it wouldn't live up to my expectations but it did. In spades. I was really tired on day one after a long drive to the airport, a late arrival in Rome and the after effects of the previous weeks. I had a worryingly odd stabbing, spikey pain in my spine that I thought would ruin my trip physically and psychologically but it disappeared and after that I got my energy back. I didn't think about breast cancer once (apart from the Cybele's temple tribute). I walked constantly and ached so much, but it was a good ache. One word of warning though-if you ever go to Rome-suss out toilet stops beforehand as they are few and far between. I can recommend the McDonald's on the approach to the Spanish steps (not the one near the Trevi fountain) as having minimal queues and more than one cubicle. I'm not suggesting you eat there of course.
Bear in mind that I only had 4 lots of chemo so I've had it easier than most. My one experience of Fec buggered up my left arm that I just don't know how I could've endured 6, so Cybele's vein story chilled me to the bone.....My arm is still sore many months after that infusion in late November (but on the mend now-still got another 14 herceptins to go so cannula stories remain v. worrying)
Anyway, the holiday was a brilliant tonic and I highly recommend the power of a complete break from all that the big C can throw at us.

[Cressida]

Cybele - it's a cumulative thing. If you think about it logically no 6 should be the worst. That's not much help. But you can also eat cumulatively. You should eat even more junk everytime, until no 6 becomes a junk food orgy. I don't think you can explode, just make sure no-one sprinkles salt on you.

Just had a vanilla cream slice for my lunch. And they come in packs of 2....

[Cybele]

I continue to feel like Holy Hell - so much for getting FEC finished with - BIG mistake to get all excited about having done FEC6. FEC6 is not the end - the end of the side effects is the end, and God only knows when that is going to be.

I am now feeling iller, and weaker and being the least active since beginning chemo - just lying on the sofa looking at magazines, I can barely even focus enough to read. I'm desperate to get outside and go to the park, but my legs are so weak I'm actually quite nervous about trying to do so.

This is just horrible.


Hamley, my thought s are with you today BIG HUG xxx we seem t obe gonig through a very similar experience. Was v. interested that you had the Frankenstein thought, too - those frigging pictures of that dog HAUNTED me for weeks..

Sarah - WELCOME!!! you're not too late, we're all gonig t obe around together for some time, and we are even planning a Summer Party..

Sand thanks xxx loooking forward to hearing about your tattoo, as i have that to look forward to soon, too


Lolly - so pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better this time round xxx soon you will be joining us in saying goodbye to FEC..

Wendy - thanks xx yes - onwards and upwards for ALL OF US
Lisalouw thanks xx 0so pleased you enjoyed the story and hey, if it can happen for me at this stage in life it can happen for anyone!


Border Collies - boo to the toxic stomach, but very cheered o hear you are managing 5 mile walks - that's where I want to be as soon as is humanly possible

Pammy. thanks xx and very glad the blog made you laugh
Cress - hope the cold is starting to get a bit better xxx soon you will be in Jersey and having a lovely time

I forgot to mention, I am still eating so much I am probably soon going to explode.
I am a Giant Fat Chemo Sofa Slug
and I'm still blaming the steroids...

[Cressida]

Hi Hamley,

Not sure if you mean you are concerned about them keeping you in today when they do your pre-op or when you have you Mx. The pre-op thing is just a case of departments not talking to each other - pre-op prob don't realise it is FEC 6, day 6. They just send out apptmnts. They want to go through a checklist. You know the sort of thing - what meds you on? Are you diabetic? When was your last period? and so on. It is all part of routine pre-admission. So they take blood routinley as well. When they see you they will prob be all apologetic about dragging you in. Your bloods will be no good anyway cos of the feccin FEC. You could try ringing them and telling them and trying to delay it. They def won't keep you in anyway.

If it is the Mx - you will prob have to stay one night. Some people do manage to escape on the same day, but you have drains in and you feel rough so staying doesn't seem so bad. And I say this as someone who hates hospitals.

I am lurking about today as I have a cold so can't get out, so I will be here for a chat, xx

[hamley]

Another horrible day. I've got a pre op appointment today and have just found out they will be taking my bloods for my mx on 24th Apr. What do they expect? This is FEC 6 day 6, are they going to take me in? I'm not brave enough to stay in hospital, I'm a wuss. Hell on Earth. I'm having hot flushes, shaking and feel badly sick, why is this happening? It was all supposed to be better after FEC 6. I always doubt the lovely people I see and they've never let me down really, but I guess I'm just totally paranoid.

[Cressida]

Sarah - my foggy brain has just realised that you prob mean that you got your secondary diagnosis at the same time as your primary diagnosis. What a pile of sh*t to take in all at once. That would explain the slightly odd chemo. I had carboplatin second time around. Have I got it right now? That doesn't let you off the other questions tho, xxx

[Cressida]

Hi Sarah,

Never too late to join in. Hows the cellulitis? I feel your pain (and it is very painful). If you have read back you will know that I am trying to recover from a bout in my arm/trunk. Absolute pits. Mine has brought my chemo to a stop. I see you had tax and carboplatin - was that your first chemo regime? It is slightly unusual for primary treatment but there are no rules. Really rubbish that you have secondary diagnosis. Do you have to go straight back into chemo? Sorry about all the questions. Thats what you get for being the new girl.

xxxx

[Guest user]

Cybelle - Hang on in there, it won't be long b4 you're feeling ok, I think FEC should stand for Fxxxxing 'Ellish Chemo!! Cressida, hope you're feeling better and have a great time on your holiday, you deserve the break after all the hassle you've had. Lolly, glad you're feeling a bit better, the last FEC will be here and gone before you know it! Hamley, we'll all have to treat ourselves to a manicure after all this, should be on the NHS me thinks!! Border Collies, I could just picture you layed there in your bra - I have my first appt tomorrow to get the tatoos for the start of my rads, so I'll bear it in mind to remember to take off my bra! Pammy - good luck for tomorrow. Sarah, Welcome - , shame you didn't come in sooner, I don't know what I'd have done without the support on here there is so much support, it has been a great help. Think I'll ask for a Rose Tattoo tomorrow, if I have to have a permanent mark, just as well be something pretty!! lol x

[SP0]

Oh how I wish I'd found you girls earlier!
I started 6 Taxotere + Carboplatin + Herceptin on 10 Dec and finished the chemo 2 weeks ago. I was diagnosed with secondaries to the liver & lung at the same time, so have mostly used the secondaries threads - but I could really have done with the friendship and support you've all shared during chemo.

Cybele, your blog is inspired. It sounds like you've had an especially hard time of it, but you're nearly there. I'm surprised how much harder rounds 5 & 6 have been for me - 2 weeks after the last I have extreme fatigue and a rather unattractive case of cellulitis, swelling my nose in to a bulbous red mass!
I wish you all well recuperating after chemo over the next few months, and would like to hang with the group if that's ok with you all.
Sarah.x

[Pammyx]

Hope you are better soon I am on my second tomorrow. Love your blog made me laugh really cheered me up-yes that is what is missing a good dose of humour

[Cybele]

Ihave just been feeingl like hell today - it's been awful. Really, really rough. Nausea, toxic stomach , weakness, all iN SPADES


I HATE CHEMO I HATE FECking FEC


I want to reply to some of the posts , but I haven't got the energy now.
So here's a very short, bad-tempered blog post I wrote this morning, while I still had a bit of steroid energy


'How Not To Say The Wrong Thing To Someone Who Is Ill': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Border_Collies]

Morning all. Just had an embarrassing moment at the Rads Dept! Arrived at Maidstone Hospital at 9.40 am ready for my 4th Rads session at 10.05 am. Booked in and my husband and I were asked to wait in another waiting area further away from the usual place where I booked in as apparently a large piece of machinery was due to come through and they needed space. I pass room LA1 where my rads are done on my way to the booking in area and now have to walk quite a distance to the new waiting area. I just get to the area and see my name on the tv screen and the voice calling me to LA!. So leave OK andn rush all the way back to the changing area thinking that I must go to the loo before I go in. I select a gown on it's hanger and go into the cubicle which has a little padded bench and large mirror not unlike M&S and start to change in a great hurry admiring the little blue gown in the mirror flaring our over my black jeans just as you would if you were in M&S changing rooms. Bunged all my stuff in the bag provided and fled to the loos in my little non slip slipper that they give you. I come out to be told they are waiting for me so I hurry to LA1 apologising for keeping them waiting.
Pleasantries are exchanged and I hop up on the couch, they dim the lights and start to unfasten the shoulder of my gown and then there is a pregnant pause, before one of the assistants says "do you know that you are still wearing your bra?" Stupidly I changed in such a hurry that it WAS just like trying something on in a shop and I forgot all about the bra. With rather a red face I half sit up on the bed and remove the offending odject, roll it in a ball and lob it in the direct of the chair where I have perched my bag and coat. To my dismay and embarrassment said offending object is "Caught" mid throw by the senior radiologist who places sit on my chair. Never have I been so grateful for the darkness of the rads room!!
We were actually back in the car by 10.05 am which was the time of my appointment so they really took me in early hence my rushing.
Hope all those either still on or finishing last chemo are not feeling too bad and I have to say rads are sooo easy after chemo ..... you just have to remember to take your bra off!!!!
PS. Finished omprazole at 3 weeks post FEC and am now suffering from fairly vicious heartburn in the evenings which is something I never had before so the evil chemicals are still in my system at 4 weeks past FEC. Still also have sore eyes and very dry mouth. Energy wise I'm fine - took my dogs for a 5 mile walk yesterday and was still standing after I got home!

[lolly123]

Morning to you all,
i am on FEC 5 day 7 and must share how i feel, i am good, got a bit of toxic tummy and have no taste buds so not eating much but feel so much better than the last FEC's i have had, hopefully this time i will stay out of hospital (fingers crossed) went to work yesterday just for a visit, not to do work, it was a tonic in it's self, but only ONE MORE TO GO and cant wait to get it behind me.
Take care all of you just wanted to share how i was, sorry to you all that is feeling cr*p hope you feel better soon
lolly
xx

[Cressida]

Hamley - do not apologise for celebrating the end of chemo. I def do not begrudge your enjoyment - you need to take whatever bright spots there are. It's great when your nails finally start to grow through. Keep them short still, so they don't catch on anything, as they will be fragile for a long time. I liked watching the stripes grow out - it was like a little symbol of the chemo I had survived.

Mandy - not sure what is next - cancer can f*ck off till after my holiday. I need to get my genetics results. If they are negative, then I suspect that the system is about to spit me out and tell me to come back if I grow any more lumps. I don't think there is any more cancer treatment and I don't think they know what to do about my arm/shoulder. Who knows??? I will ignore it all till after my hols, xxxx

[hamley]

Thanks, Collette for the advice you give, it really helps to think that there is a future for us because it doesn't always feel that way. We so much want that life back.
Cybele, I really can't believe once again how much your blog relates to my feelings, although our situations aren't exactly the same it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in my breakdowns etc.. The first thing I asked the nurse at my GPs when she removed my dressings after my first WLE was 'do I look like Frankensteins monster?'. She said no, and she was right, eventually.
Cressida, I feel so sad for you to have been cheated the final chemo, I'm so sorry to gloat, you've been an absolute rock for so many of the ladies here so many times. I hope you're feeling better today. You're so right we do need to be kind to ourselves.
Mandy, I hope you're feeling better today, there aren't so many posts on the thread at the moment, perhaps we're all at a low ebb (except hopefully those on hols). My day 5 today is taking it's toll, I'm only just about to get washed and dressed! I wouldn't admit that to many people, but I know you'll understand the toxic stomach slug that is so distressing.
I've got little pink bits at the base of my nails today which show how horribly discoloured my nails have become since chemo; a little more light at the end of the tunnel I hope and a welcome change to the brown with black stripes effect I've had for the last few months.

[Cressida]

My post disappeared. The gist of it was that the common cold should not be laughed at lightly (I feel a bit sh*t) and that I thought that The Corpse Bride might be a better Tim Burton movie choice for describing how I look and feel post surgery.

xxxxx

Moderator - the posts are going missing again.

[mandyp]

Thanks Collette. Really good of you to drop in.
I've learnt a lot about my friendships and relationships. I have been disappointed but equally overwhelmed by the compassion that some people have shown, (in particular almost strangers).

Cress - you're sounding pretty low which s totally understandable. Am sending you a huge hug. What happens next? Xxxxx

Love to everyone else. Will catch up soon. Not been feeling that great.

Mxxx

[Colette67]

Hi Girls,
Hope you don't mind me butting in! I was part of the December Darlings 2011, and just realised that a year on you would all be coming to the end of chemo about now. Well done girls for getting there, it is a tough road! Just wanted to let you know that you will start to put this all behind you! 1 year on I have hair again! Had recon in Jan and having some fat transfer in 2 weeks. But life is generally good again! Still think about BC from time to time, but it is not longer the be and end all. You will get to the point where you sing in the car again, laugh at silly adverts and the most important thing you think about is what you are having for dinner tonight! Value the friendships you have made on here, we still keepin touch and have n meet up a couple of times. Be proud of what you have done, and be happy and healthy xxxx