Starting Chemo in December.2012

[QueenDrama]

hi ladies
i hope this post posts if you see what i mean because my last 2 havent!
I am getting horrendous eye problems. I seem to have a memory that someone said they saw "bees" in their eyes - or did i imagine it? well im seeing "bees" in my eyes. horrid!
My mom is healing - but very slowly. I managed to see her just before i was nuked on wednesady. She is going to be moved to an oap rehab place soon At nearly 95 she will be the oldest woman the hos have ever sent!

Love to all. Cant write to much cos feel awful.

QD

[Border_Collies]

Lisalouw the tattooing is nothing to worry about. They put a small permanent black dot, in my case, in between the breasts and one each side of the breasts. This apparently helps them to zap you in exactly the same place each time. Some people on here said that the tattooing was painful and I had visions of being approached with a large tattooist's needle and a black dot between my breasts replicating a large blackhead! In truth, in my case, is wasn't really a tattoo at all. They merely put some permanant ink on my skin and then said "small scratch coming" and that's exactly what it was. No pain and the ink just seeped into the scratch and they wiped off the excess. Actually a blind man would be glad to see them they are so minute.
My eyes have been a problem all through chemo and are still playing me up on 11th day past FECX6. They have been sore and red throughout, easing a bit toward the end of each chemo and I've had blurred vision and my vision seems to have altered somewhat. I did speak to my oncologist about this and asked if it were permanant and she was qquite emphatic that it was a side effect and told me definitely not to go rushing off for an expensive eye examination as things would settle down in time. Just hope she's right.
How far off rads are you?

[Lisalouw]

Well the bloody snow is here again , it seems never ending this winter doesn't it , it will be another snow walk this afternoon with my little boy , I went for complementary therapy on thurs so had a very lovely massage , I just can't seem to be able to relax no matter how much I concentrate on my breathing stupid thoughts pop in my very busy head , very annoying , I had my bloods done while I was there which was fine as I mentioned I've been getting short of breath , so I'm on yet more antibiotics as a precaution just in case something lurking , I'll be so glad not to have to take so many tablets , and I think I'll have to wean myself off co codamol as I seem to be on them all the time for various aches and pains , can't wait for summer when all this is over and do you think we will get kicked off this site when we all done or will we all be able to pop in from time to time to keep in touch x
cybelle , really glad the drugs are working and you enjoyed Bowie , sound amazing , your plans of delaying rads seem a good idea and your pics of your old home look like a dream , it will do you the world of good x
marie, glad everything going well and your coming to an end of your rads x
lolly, so sorry you feeling dizzy all time , must be horrible , my eyes get abit blurred which I'm putting down to chemo, well I put everything down to chemo! Hope it wears off soon , have you spoke to the oncologist about it x
shellebelle, I can't think of anything worse than going for chemo twice and not having it , no wonder your feeling drained and fragile , I think we all would , lets hope you get back on track on mon, thinking of you x
mandy, yeah!!! On your final chemo and normality round the corner for you x
cressida, thank god someone finally took notice of you and you got some pain meds that work x
bordercollies, glad your rads planning went ok, I can't wait to get to that stage, what's the tattoo thing? X

[Cressida]

Yay. Feel even better today. Drugs are good. Going out to do something outside. Not sure what, don't really care what.

[Mindy63]

Cressida-You're getting you mojo back (punches air).
Border Collies- My radiotherapy has almost finished and I am absolutely fine. I'm fair skinned (once a freckley ginger) and my skin is barely red.
Had 4th Herceptin yesterday. Absolutely no noticeable side effects (well maybe a slighlty more runny nose but it is bloody freezing out there). In fact heart scan showed a 3% improvement over pre chemo result.

[Border_Collies]

Cressida - Yay to the painkillers. At last someone has done something to help you. Don't know whether to congratulate you on finishing treatment or not bearing in mind your chemo was stopped mid treatment. Having said that you need some time to recover.
Went to rads planning on Wednesday. Have been reading everyone's individual experiences regarding cubicles or lack of said cubicles, robes etc. Was relieved to find lovely cubicle with seat and mirror (bit like M&S) and a very fetching little tunic, colour of one's choice, with velcro fastenings down front and on shoulders. Given a little pair of slippers to wear each time I go and a bag to put my clothes in. The tattoos were painless and they were a very pleasant team soi no complaints. Rads start 3rd April. Eleven days out of final chemo which wasn't as bad as the previous two. Can't wait to get past week 3 and see if I start to feel more normal.
Well done to all those who are planning holidays - nice to get away from all this awful weather. The winter has been so long.
Shellebelle - you are having a rotten time at the moment. Chemos bad enough just getting through it without two failed attempts. Hope it goes better next time.

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,


New pain killers so good I can type a bit. Probably all be nonsense.


Maire, Border Collies and Mandy - well done on finishing chemo. Mandy - good luck with rads.

Shellebelle, Lisalou and Lolly - hope the sfx are improving. Shellebelle - sounds like you are having a rough time - hope the new regime is better.

QD - sorrry to hear about your mum - how is she now?

Maire and Cybele - Yay to holiday plans. As for whether to delay rads or not - definitly delay for a holiday. A few weeks will make no difference to your treatment, but a holiday will make a big difference in terms of your mental health.

As for me, the palliative care consultant put me on pain killers that actually kill pain. It's amazing. I think he is the first person who believed how much pain I was in. He even gave me extra stuff to take, just in case. I havn't needed it. I am floating about on the ceiling and can't always remember my own name, but it is fab that I am not crying with pain and not experiencing paraniod ideas about everyone being out to get me. My chemo is officially stopped. So, I have finished all my treatment. Not sure what that means yet, but it does mean I can plan a holiday. Yay. Thank you to all of you who supported me and worried about me and encouraged me. Best not keep on typing as, just cos it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean I should do it...

xxxx

[Mindy63]

Lolly-daft idea but would sunglasses help? Maybe take the glare from the screen. Keep thinking of Gran Canaria in October when all this will be behind you.
Shellebelle-Rotten that you can't get the chemo with taxanes. Did I really say that? Good luck on Monday. That'll be one more under your belt.
Mandy P-Just wait till the last of the side effects wear off. You will feel GREAT!!!
Cybele-Loved the Bowie clip. (Went to see him years ago up here).
I particularly enjoyed the audience dancing in the clip. What was going on with the out of time bouncing?!!!

[Cybele]

'Starman': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

We went to the David Bowie exhibition!! It was AMAZING!!

[mandyp]

Shellebelle -that's bloody wrotten. I feel for you.
Lolly - great to hear from you....not great that you're feeling car sick all the time....
Although Ive had some pretty rough side effects and real trouble finding veins and getting blood. I had my final chemo session this morning. Ive been selected for the Suprimo trial and will be the 50% getting rads so start in 4 weeks. 15 sessions to chest wall and then reconstruction 6 months on from that......and Ive been excepted for gene testing so am just waiting for a date.
I took my kids to chemo today.... i thought it would be nice to meet the chemo nurses...as there are only 2 at my hospital and i get one to one attention so i thought it would be nice... i also thought that it would dispel any myths as for me most of my sessions have actually been alright... it has just been once the steroids wear off.
Anyway they only stayed for 15 minutes gave the nurses an easter egg and said thank you for looking after me....for me it was mixed emotions. the nurses have been a crutch for me and i will miss them but actually i'm not sure i want to see them again. i think once i actually accept what has happened to me for real, i hope i will feel differently.
Im sorry im a bit behind on all the news...so love to everyone and we're all nearly there...
Maire - well done you....xxxx

[Cybele]

'Sister Morphine': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[shellebelle]

Another failed chemo attempt. Looks like me and taxanes do not mix as allergic reaction even with pre meds and slow drip, so now going back to EC 90 for final 2 doses. Not quite as effective as if I had managed all 3 docetaxels but at least I got 1. Been told only makes 1-2% difference and risk of trying taxanes again is not worth it. Resume treatment Monday. . . . So, full of steroids, anti sickness drugs and antihistamines for nothing again.
Feel crappy, fed up and so very tired and emotional.

[lolly123]

hi to all you Crackers,
Been on here daily to read all your news but have been feeling very Car sick when i read or type but tried to keep up with you all. seems a few of us are thinking about holidays i have just booked 10 days away to grand canaries in October i am hoping all these Side Effects of Chemo will be well and truly over by then, i am on day 9 Fec 4 i have not had such a good time again this FEC feeling quite sick all the time if i read, type, or knit so just been watching TV alot, today is a good day not to sickly so been able to do a bit of computer lurking.
Well thats my news hope you are all ok.
Lolly
xx
hugs to you all too ((())

[Mindy63]

That's me had my 15 radiotherapy sessions so just need to get the 4 boosts and that'll be done and dusted. Had heart scan today too. Feel I should be glowing with radioactivity.

[Cybele]

'World Mum': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Cybele]

I'm still off my face on steroids , and it's day 7 and the chemo is still horrible even with the steroids.

Keep telling myself I'm giong to be feeling so much better in a couple of days.

Had another emergency trip to the dentist as temporary filling fell out and tooth twingeing again.

We have now agreed hat the root canal is too difficult without sending me to Guy's for general anaesthetic and f*** that for a game of soldiers , so I will be having tooth extracted at end of April at end of last chemo cycle, thank God.

Good news is that oncologist has okayed trip to the Aegean, so I will be off to turkey from 7th-20th May, and I think that will do me a lot of good and save my sanity, which is feeling sorely tried right now.

JUST ONE MORE FEC, then I get my life back..
Am not too worried about the rads, it can't be a hundredth as bad as the chemo has been..


Cress - yeah, I wouldn't believe them either, incompetent t***ers...

You are constantly in my thoughts - hoping so much that things will get better for you soon.


I am simply not bothering with travel insurance, by the way. It's a rip off at the best of times, and as a cancer patient, it's just too ludicrous for words. There's nothing cancer related likely to happen while I'm away -tumour gone, chemo done, so I will in theory be healthy.
If God chooses to strike me down with another thunderbolt, then so be it, but I 'm damned if i'm paying a fortune to some insurance company when medical treatment in Turkey is pretty cheap, anyway..

[Mindy63]

Cressida-You really have had rubbish luck. Well I say luck but you've been massively let down by those 'in charge'. I keep coming across stories of people who 'knew something was wrong' but were dismissed by doctors. I just hope this time the docotrs are right and you start making progress. Please let the good days be on their way for you...we need you here!

[QueenDrama]

oh Cress - youve gone through so much. Its not blumin fair. hug hug hug x

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,

Well, the people who couldn't spot my cellulitis now tell me it is cured. I have lost confidence. Unfortunaltly I have lost confidence in everyone so a second opinion probably wouldn't help as I am now clinically paraniod and I don't think anyone beleives me or is taking me seriously. They tried to convince me, they even called the palliative care consultant to review my pain treatment. He prescribed new drugs. A variety of controlled substances that you have to sign for. And some Lorezapam on top (small whoop).

Sat in the pub crying aftrerwards as poor hubby tried to calm me down. The only thing that slightly worked was promising me a week in Jersey in an overpriced hotel for my birthday next month. The paranioa demon (not sure if I borrowed him from Cybele or if there are just loads of them) tells me I won't get to go as my temp will shoot up and I will be forced back into the hell hole they call hospital. I assume you don't need health insurance to go to Jersey? It is the UK. Anyone know?

I am still in constant pain. I can't get undressed by myself or have a proper wash. My husband has become my carer. I can't drive or walk far enough to get anywhere. I have a bl**dy blue badge. What happened to my life? Has someone else got it? I WANT IT BACK.

[Cybele]

'100 Days of Chemo Nights': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Mindy63]

Holiday to Rome now booked. Yippee. Just hope tit doesn't fall off after radiotherapy. Off to see chemo nurse tomorrow and will prob. have to come clean about the fact I still haven't popped the bad pills.
Heart scan on Thursday, Herceptin on Friday and final booster rads on 27th.
Hope all the crackers are coping.

[Cybele]

'Crash and burn (reprise'): today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Cybele]

Maire - yeah, i think we ALL sorely need a break right now - I've had it UP TO HERE with cancer treatment.
Just so bl***y tired of it all now.
So sick of people DOING STUFF to me.

Extra steroids are really helping with side effects this cycle but it's still day 5 and RUBBISH.
Did too much on steroid high yesterday and now so exhausted I can hardly do anything. And weeping a lot today..
Some time in the sun to rest and get strong before rads would be so good - also just to have the poison of chemo completely out of my system before nother assault on the body from the rads..
Cancer treatment is just so BRUTAL.
Sorry, am very whiney today.
And YAY for you delaying the Tamoxifen - I agree totally, get one poison over and done with before you have t ostart on another one..

[Mindy63]

Cybele,
I'm going away just after radiotherapy so may be suffering with sore skin but really need the break. It's one of the reasons I've delayed tamoxifen as don't want side effects kicking in on my holiday. I would def. ask for delay to radiotherapy. A holiday will do you the world of good. At the moment I'm looking into travel insurance. Bit of a mine field.

[Cybele]

Thanks Jayne, mz6507 - am feeling quite hopeful now about getting t o go away xx

Jayne - the difference with the extra steroids is HUGE. it's day 5. FEC5, and usually I'm a howling banshee at this point in the cycle. Wish I'd got this sorted before...

[Jayne_m]

Hi Cybele - I had my steroids reduced gradually too - it certainly helped avoid the big dip so I hope it helps you too. One of my fellow chemo companions had her last chemo on 14th March and is off to Egpyt on the 9th April so has delayed her rads to have her holiday with her onc's blessing.

Jayne x

[Guest user]

Hi Cybele, I have delayed my rads as going away. Finished chemo 3 weeks ago, rads 2nd April.

[Cybele]

'The Tide is High': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Cybele]

Have just found answer in radiotherapy thread which sounds promising,, :

Hi
I delayed my rads by a month to go on holiday, both my oncs said it was ok as long as I started within 8/9 weeks of finishing chemo. The holiday was the best think I could have done, felt much better for the break after chemo & it meant I went into rads relaxed & stronger. Be warned though rads will leave you tired so don't be shocked like I was if you feel knackered.

[Cybele]

Question: does anyone know whether it would matter if I delayed my radiotherapy for a few weeks?
I am going for the rads planning meeting tomorrow, and i think I should be starting in the last week of April for 3 weeks, but I really want to go away during the second week of May, and it's really important, and I'm wondering if it would be possible to delay the start of rads until mid May.
I'm sure the hospital wouldn't mind, but I'm wondering if with the long lapse of time since my WLE - which was at the beginning of October, it would be inadvisable to delay the rads any longer. Or will the chemo have nuked me sufficiently for it not to matter?
I'll be able to find out at the hopsital tomorrow, but I just wondered if any of you who have been down this raod bwfore might have a view...

[Cybele]

'Gaudete, gaudete, PICC line est ejectus': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[Border_Collies]

Lurk away Cressida, it's nice to know you're there.

Lisalouw. The mouth thrush is awful isn't it? It goes right down my throat making it very sore. I was put on Nystatin first but that didn't really do much after the first 2 FECs so like you I was put on fluconazole daily. To be honest it doesn't seem to work much better than the nystatin on me. I've got high active Manuka honey so I'll give that a try but pineapple is out as I'm on Statins and the two don't mix apparently. The only thing that makes me feel better is using a mouthwash - seems like about 20 times a day. I could try mixing the manuka honey with orange juice and see if that helps. Anyone else out there got a magic cure for thrush? I hate it - it makes me feel dirty and unfresh.

Maire - going swimming and having a sauna must be the ONLY times when wearing a wig is an advantage. I rarely swim cos it takes hours to restyle my hair and as I've been cold capping if I swum now I'd have visions of leaving a trail of hair behind me. Scarey thought! Have a good weekend everyone. It's tipping down here in Kent.

[QueenDrama]

morning! Hope everyone is hanging in there.
Hamley - your story made me cry.
Cybele- you explain things really well. I found your root canal explanation really interesting.
Cress- I looked up cellulitis because Id never heard of it and it looks horrendous. Sending a virtual hug because a real one might hurt!
Border Collies - I have to have a single injection after chemo 5 (please God this wed) so im hoping i react like you.
Mairie - loved the sauna story
Well I have some good news and some bad news
The good news is that my son has been offered a place at Worcs Uni to do teacher training. He also has an interview this wednesday at Newman Uni so hopefully they'll offer as well and he will then have a choice.
And the bad news? My mom who will be 95 next month had a fall on Thursday and has broken her pelvis! She is in Queen Elizabeth hopital. Its sooo frustrating because I cant risk going to see her because of my white blood cells. AAArgh!!!!
QD

[Lisalouw]

welcome dilydonker, I too have injections, I do them myself and start day 5 to 10, on day 4 I start feeling like someone is sitting on my chest and I get back and pelvis pain, I also get on standing or going to toilet what I can only describe as a muscle spasm in my chest and back which makes me hold onto something as I feel like I'm going to fall, it wears off in a few mins , I take reg co codamol , take my temp beforehand and it usually wears off by day 11 , I also get pain and aching in neck shoulders and legs , it's been pretty constant throughout each cycle abit worse this time, I'll let you know if it eases by day 11, I'm day 10 now and already back pain not as bad xxxxx
marie , ha ha you made me laugh , I just pictured you coming out of the baths all made up with perfect hair , brilliant xx
border collies, I also get mouth thrush for 2 wks even though I take fluconazole daily , I was told manuka honey and pineapple juice , have you found anything that helps at all xxx
QD fantastic song, made me chuckle and I think it's the song we should all sing when all our chemos are finished and we can have our holiday xxx
mandy, so sorry you been feeling awful , I had a bad time last cycle with my emotions , I'm hoping its not going to hit me again, you feel like your never going to come out of it , but I don't feel too bad at the moment so hang in there it does pass, and I agree bloody cancer seems to be on every corner, even on tv , sending hugs xxxxxx
shellebelle, good luck on the new chemo hope it all goes well xxx

[Cressida]

Hi Ladies,

I am still here lurking, but typing hurts. Want to answer you individually, but I can't. I'll just say hello to Dillydonker then go back to lurking. Will try to update after I see Onc on Tues, xxx

[Border_Collies]

Dillydonker - I had a Neulasta injection after each of my chemos and only on two occasions did I experience any discomfort around my hips amd back, and this was minute. Thinking about it I have suffered roughy the same symptoms with each chemo but each time to a greater or lesser extent - nothing has been exactly the same. FECx4 and FECx5 were the worst. I dreaded FECx6 but apart from really nasty thrush I feel great and I'm only 3 days past. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that what seems awful on one occasion might not be nearly as bad on another.

[Mindy63]

Dillydonker-welcome. I didn't get the injections so can't help with that but I do know lots of people experience awful bone pain. Getting good painkillers and speaking to oncologist seems good advice!
QD-Imagine us lot on that chemo holiday bus with you all singing along.
Mandy P-cheering you on as you approach the finishing line. I cannot over emphasise how good it is to have chemo over. You'll love it!!!
Shellebelle-Good luck with the new chemo. I've heard the side effects aren't so bad with weekly doses. So fingers crossed for you.
I had a lovely swim, jacuzzi, sauna, steam room session today complete with green swimming cap to cover baldness. Nuked tit seems to have survived. It got very hot in the sauna and I had to leave as swimming cap was heating up alarmingly. Opposite of the cold cap experience perhaps. I wrapped unnecessary towel around my head after shower and think I duped everyone into thinking I had hair. People must've been impressed at how dry and well styled I was after leaving cubicle and going nowhere near a hairdryer. I actually had a wee smile to myself as I 'put' my hair back on!

[Cybele]

'Rollercoaster': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

[shellebelle]

Dillydonker - just spotted your message. Welcome! Sorry you are joining us under these circumstances, but I am sure you will find support and understanding from all the Crackers.
Not sure what chemo you're having as you don't say, but the G-CSF stimulates your bone marrow to produce white blood cells and that is what causes the pain. Some don't seem to suffer too badly, but I had it after my 1st dose of Docetaxel and can honestly say I've never experienced pain like it. Confined me to bed for best part of 4 days and I could hardly walk. EVERYTHING hurt....really hurt and on one day I just curled up under the duvet and couldn't concentrate on anything other than the pain! I was told afterwards I could get stronger painkillers for the next cycle, reduce the dose of the chemo and/or have a one off injection rather than the 5 daily ones given as standard at my hospital with TAX chemo. As it turned out, I had a bad reaction to my 2nd Docetaxel so it had to be stopped and abandoned and I'm now going to be having something different on a weekly basis and will no longer need the injections.
Don't be afraid to ask your Oncologist/Chemo ward or GP for stronger painkillers - my GP said there was almost always a painkiller strong enough to make things tolerable!!
Good luck x

[Border_Collies]

Oh Hamley your post has just made me cry and I'm so glad for you that you have found a closeness with your mum. I came from a very close loving family whilst my husband came from a nice family but one that didn't ever show their emotions. My children are all grown up now but I never stop telling them that I love them. Over the years OH has learned that showing emotions is OK and now hugs and kisses both my son and daughter whenever he sees them. It makes my heart glad when I see that love and warmth between my husband and my kids. I've always been like that because it was the way I was brought up and I know no other way but it's not natural to everybody. My mum and dad are both dead now but I envied what you said in your post. It would have been wonderful to have had a cuddle from my mum when I was at my lowest. So H. Enjoy!!

[shellebelle]

Hi everyone. Here we are coming to the end of yet another week - time is moving swiftly on and I am just hoping it continues in the same fashion as my chemotherapy regime has been changed. Following failure of #5 due to allergic reaction to Docetaxel #2 last week, I am now going to be "challenged" with 8 x weekly doses of Paclitaxel (Taxol), providing I'm not allergic to that as well! So, instead of being 5 down with 1 more to go, as I should have been last week, I'm now 4 down with 8 to go Feels a bit like a game of snakes and ladders for me and I've just slid down a snake. I just hope my poor veins hold out against weekly bloods/poisionings.
Am trying hard to feel encouraged by the fact they haven't given up on me as far as chemotherapy is concerned, but faced with weekly steroids, blood tests and chemo poisoning and SE's for another couple of months.....it's hard to think happy thoughts at the moment.
To occupy myself during this unexpected and unwelcome interruption to treatment, I scoured the internet for information about Docetaxel reactions, weekly Paclitaxel SE's, Radiotherapy and Tamoxifen over the last week or so - it probably wasn't a good idea, as I have now convinced myself that even if I survive this Cancer crap, I am likely to suffer from heart/lung disease, arthritis, blindness and have a stroke, so decided it was best I came back to the safety of this forum before I sank further into Google's lair!
Oh, re the little lump thingy which came up on my MX scar; the ONC thinks it is just scar tissue and isn't concerned, but has said to keep my eye on it and if it changes at all, then they'll scan it #continuedparanoia
Hugs to all those who need it and good luck to those having chemo next week. Am lagging behind but will limp/crawl across that finishing line one way or another.
Michelle xx

[hamley]

Wendy, that's really hard. Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault and I'm sure your daughters wouldn't blame you in any way and of course that you will all be able to support each other through this. Hopefully they will be negative, but at least they can make their decisions now. I think this is what Michelle Heaton (of Liberty X fame) has isn't it? She's had the double mx and recon and has said she wants to have her ovaries removed after she's had her family. I think she's really brave to talk about to the media and her recon looks really good.
My Mum said to me just recently, that when we found out a few weeks ago my Grandmother died of bc she felt a special bond with her Mum for the first time since she was 5 years old; that's how old she was when she lost contact with her Mum (through no fault of my Grandmothers, my Grandfather was a selfish man). My Mum feels that what her mother went through with bc (she died of it aged 44) will have contributed towards the knowledge that helped cure my Mum. Then what's been learned since she had bc 9 years ago will have contributed to my recovery. She also said that it's a bond that includes me which is very special to me because my Mum and I have never really been that close, but when she came to my house for a few days last week she let me put my head on her lap and she stroked me for two hours, not bad for someone who doesn't really do hugging usually. It made me very happy.

[mandyp]

Love it QD.
Well all. Ive not posted for a while as quite frankly I have just felt so awful. Totally wiped out and the nasty steroids have been playing with my emotions. Last week I had my wedding anniversary, my birthday and mothers day and it was all too much!
Ive tried to pull myself together now and am just suffering with chronic fatigue.....they said i would.....Side effects seem to be pretty standard, and as well as the skin reaction on my hands, I feel like someone has shut all my fingers in a car door....ouch!
My friend's mum has just had a mx and is waiting for results and another friend's mum today has been diagnosed with lung liver and bone and been told she has months.....and another mum at school has recently been diagnosed with cervical cancer. I am sick of hearing it.....
On a brighter note, i have my final (emphasis on the word final meaning 'ever'!) chemo next Thursday. I have an appointment with onc on Wednesday to sign up to the Supremo trial and Leeds Genetics have written to say that an appointment to see them will follow soon. So it's all go here. I suppose also I should start talking to work about going back....
My hair is starting to grow back, although despite having a number one it actually never all went (bl**dy typical!) my eyelashes and eybrows and legs the same..... underarm still lovely and smooth......
Cress - hope you are starting to feel more human...... i just cannot believe your plight.....quite frightening really. I've told my husband that if i get reallly sick and they right me off to go to Leeds or Manchester for second opinions as I'm not sure that Hull is a great area.
Love to all and we're nearly there Sparklers.
Mandy xxx

[Border_Collies]

QD - your talent abounds - loved it.
Maire - Sooo pleased to hear about the lump that isn't a lump. I've had cysts all my life (about 12 I think) until this b""""r that wasn't a cyst. Now if another lump pops up I think I'll be carted off to the funny farm. It's such a worry.
Cressida - so glad you are still posting and I really hope the antibiotics are doing their job.
Cybele - Tooth half done and just one more FEC to endure so freedom looms. I really hope the side effects aren't too awful this time round.
I'm FECx6+3days and touch wood I haven't been too bad apart from the wretched oral thrush I get every time which usually last for two weeks. Yes Maire euphoria is in abundance at the moment. Silly really because I've still got the s/e's, still fretting over the hair (will it or won't it detach from my skull) and yet I feel this sense of release, freedom even. It's a good feeling even if I look like s""t. Rads planning next Wednesday with rads starting after Easter so I only get the usual three weeks before something else starts.
And Cybele - I'm certainly not saying goodbye. Maybe my good wishes to all those still being poisoned made you think that but that was merely a statement to let you know that just because I've finished FEC I'm still thinking about the rest of you. Funny, this awful disease seems to draw people together just like it did in wartime.

[QueenDrama]

Morning ladies
yes I am aware that I have far too much time on my hamds but here goes. Feel free to join in the community singing (to the tune of summer holiday) and apologies o Sir Cliff!
We're all going on a chemo holiday
No more poison for a day or two
Fun and laughter on our chemo holiday
No yukky side ef ec ects for me or for you.
Oh we are not goung to vomit
No constipation, oh or piles
Our energy levels are soaring
We can walk for miles
Oh
We're all going on a chemo holiday
No more aching joins or pains
Our white cells are slowly recovering
To kill the cancer is still our aim
That's the name of the game!

[Mindy63]

Hi Crackers,
Sorry for the downer yesterday. Having a radiotherapy holiday today as they are servicing the machine. I'm celebrating by going for a swim. No one has told me I can't and my skin looks fine. I can't see what harm a bit of water and chlorine will do. Sorry Cybele, I know you are dreaming of swimming. I will report back and let you know if it affects my skin. The irony is I had to go out and buy a swimming cap (no hair-geddit?) to save others from embarassment. (It's a posh club and I've got a free day pass, scared they'd chuck me out for wantonly displaying canceritus)
Hope everyone is coping. Wendy, I think I'm getting genetic testing at some point. My sister had testing but did not have the gene. There must be some link though as we've both now had dcis and idc. I'm guessing some mix of genetic and environmental factors but don't think it'll be the brac 1 or 2. My hope and belief is that by the time my daughters are old enough to be screened there will be major improvements in detection and treatment. Yesterday I was reading of research (In Glasgow or Edinburgh) where more targeted radiotherapy was being explored-that looks really hopeful.
Coyotegi-Hope you're beginning to recover from your last Tax. There is absolutely no way I could've worked through chemo-but especially the taxotere bit. I hope you get some support from your work. Don't forget to claim for sickness benefit-or whatever it's called.
Border Collies-Hope you are getting over your last FEC and are getting your euphoria moment.
QD enjoy that chemo holiday. Be naughty!
Sand-hope your loo visits are levelling out. I have had to rush to the wee white room just the once while posting!
Cressida-Hope the antibiotics are kicking in. Get drafting that letter of complaint. I'd be very afraid if I was them!
To everyone else, good luck with the teeth, bowels, indirect peeing, occasional musical flatulence, baldy heids etc-oh what a circus act we could be!

[Guest user]

It has been suggested I join this thread as I am just about to have chemo 4. After admission for neutropenia on 1st cycle, I have
been given G-CSF after the next 2. 3 days After 1st G-CSF, sore ribs and spine for 4 hours but ok, after 2nd very store bones in neck, head, shoulders, spine, ribs etc. after discussion with oncologist, decided this is lesser of 2 evils and maybe having neutropenia again but I am worried! Has anyone else had this side effect and could it be worse next time? Having next dose next Wednesday. Look forward to hearing from you

[Wendy56]

Marie - what a day full of mixed emotions glad the lump was ok what a relief the worry never stops.

Cybele - one more to go hold that thought over the next week or so

Hamley - yes I have BRCA 1 and I am gutted for my daughters as they now have decisions to make. For me it will be double MX next month. For them they will need to be referred to genetics and have the blood test. There is a 50% chance they will also have the gene and if they do about an 80% chance of BC before 60 and about 45% chance of ovarian. So big decisions for them and I feel so guilty. I think if I were you I would speak to helpline regarding your testing as I am sure with so many family members you should at least get a referral to genetics for them to decide if they think your case warrants a blood test. It's one of those things that you want to know but dread the outcome so I am really struggling with it.

hugs to everyone on a downer this week surely soon we will all feel on the mend both mentally and physically. X x

[hamley]

Lolly, well done for getting through FEC 4, it sounds like you're back on track.
QD, bad luck with the white blood cells , I hope you're manageing to think of it as a chemo holiday.
Coyotegi, congrats on the weight loss. Tax sounds horrible, I hope you're feeling at least a little better today. I'm now on no pay, oh boy do they know how to make things stressful, and then they tell me how well they're treating me. I've haven't even had a phone call from my boss since I was dx.
Wendy, I can't see your post re your postive results for BRACA, I've picked it up from other peoples replies. I'm sorry to hear about that, what happens now? I've been told that although every female member of my family in the two previous generations of my female line have had BC that I just about don't qualify for testing. I find that more worrying than if I could be tested, but then that's another worry to contend with that none of us needs.
Cress, I'm so pleased your back, it really wouldn't be the same without you and I'm so looking forward to meeting you and the others in the Summer. Hang on in there.
Maire, good news about the lump, I know how worrying they can be.
I've now experienced the dreaded tooth problems too. I lost a filling last week but it seemed very insignificant compared to other peoples problems. Tonight I was eating crispy bacon and half a tooth just came off. Looks like another Christmas Cracker visit to the dentist. I think it may be that I've been grinding my teeth of late. My FEC 5 went OK yesterday, although this is the most nausious I've felt since FEC 1 when I didn't have Emend. I'm having a steroid induced lack of sleep tonight and am about to go down and watch Poirot on the TV.

[Cybele]

'FEC the penultimate': today's post on http://chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/