Beaneys and headscarves

Hi all,

Can anyone recommend shops that are good for chemo hats or headscarves?  I’m starting in October after the surgery wounds are all healed so want to get some in to start.

As an aside, does anyone else get fed up of the things we women are expected to do to stop *other* people feeling uncomfortable?  I hate the idea of a wig for me personally (I know they look great these days, that’s not the issue), but when I said that I got utter disbelief from the breast cancer nurse.  A kind of “but why?  how will you go out?” response.  Had a similar response from a different nurse when I said I’d probably go flat.  Not sure if it’s just my centre, or because I’m young and quite smartly dressed so look like I should care or what.  Does anyone else get that?

Asharia Found beanies and scarves off Amazon but was wig girl all the way for me because beanies personally made me look like a turtle car air freshener and scarves made me personally look like an extra from carry on up the kybhur. You do what’s right for you each step of the way, what you want, what makes you feel comfortable and confident People mean well when they say these things to you it just doesn’t come across like that sometimes Just let it wash over you, you’ve you to put 1st and not worry about anyone’s opinions or input tbh you know what’s going to be right for you :two_hearts: :two_hearts: :sparkles: :sparkles: Shi xx

Hi Asharia

I too found a good range of headwear on Amazon, from the Dainty/ Feminine to the Look-at-me to the Don’t-give-a-toss. I was in the third category. Personally I had no problem with losing my hair - it suited me - but I did wear my cashmere beanies when I went out. Indoors I had a couple of jersey beanies I bought far too many and I barely wore them. But what you will need is a couple of sleep caps, partly because moving about causes more shedding and you don’t want to be distressed when you get up by all the lost hair, but also because it’s bloody nippy at night without a good head of hair.

I bought my wig via the hospital and wore it 5 times (£20 a pop). They can be uncomfortable. But if you are more decisive than I am, you can get something remarkably different from usual, that makes a bold statement. My neighbour’s 9yo lent me her wig from Claire’s Accessories.- fluorescent pink ‘20s bob. I actually wore it to Book Group and it really broke some barriers, 

I mentioned shedding. Hair, I found, slides out in clumps, After the first slide, I summoned my hairdresser and she gave me a no 6 buzzcut. I loved it. It also meant I didn’t lose it all because I smoothed shampoo on, slowly massaged with the flat of my hand and rinsed under the shower - no pressure, no pushing and pulling - and no brushing. Just a towel pat dry.

A lot of presumptions are made, I’m afraid, but there’s scope for being your own person. I am stubbornly refusing to wear my prosthesis and fortress bra so I’m in a state of what I call monoboobery, which doesn’t lend itself to a stylish look. I have found that people are transfixed (they don’t usually focus on the breast line but this is like a deformity you try not to look at but can’t look away). I’m not going to make it easier for them. We are ‘disabled’ and deserve respect. I would love to have my other breast removed especially as it has doubled in size without company and I never had an expansive bosom, but a new diagnosis has pushed that plan to the back. Monoboobery it is. Stick to your guns, head or chest. You’re the person who matters. So long as other people’s reactions don’t upset you, it’s not so difficult.

Good luck with the chemo xx

On a positive note, I can’t describe how wonderful your head will feel as the hair grows back - like stroking a puppy lol.

Hi - I found “head clothes” on Amazon plus I watched a few videos on YouTube on how to tie head scarves. I used my favourite scarf and wore that wrapped around my head the first time I went out in public (when I went to try on wigs). I also use bandanas/beanies when home and on a cold day I wear a knitted hat I found on Etsy. I’ve only worn Wiggy a handful of times when in public. 

Regarding hair - when the nurse told me about hair loss but I’d get a wig, I did say “Do I have to?”. I think she was taken aback! Anyways I am very happy with my wig as it makes me look younger :slightly_smiling_face:  

Hi Asharia

I found a good shop on Etsy etsy.com/uk/shop/DJCBoutique?ref=usf_2020, they have lots of different styles, they are a bit more expensive than other places but I found they are more beanie like and are a bigger fit, I appear to have a large head :slightly_smiling_face: and I will happily wear mine after my treatment has finished.

Good luck with your treatment, sending you lots of love

I was given a leaflet at the oncology suite for local people who help with wigs, but you could try the Trendco site for other stuff.  More expensive than Amazon sometimes though.  trendco.co.uk