Hello
I’m a very frightened and anxious person anyway but since being diagnosed with breast cancer, I have become even more so.
I am having a diep flap reconstruction in the middle of July and today I had to have a CT scan so that the blood vessels and veins can be mapped out for surgery. I asked the nurse if I will get results for it and she said no but then added “unless they see something and then they will call you”. I’m terrified now of my phone going.
I had staging scans done just before Christmas and these all came back clear and I have had 6 months of chemotherapy, including herceptin and perjeta for the last 16. Apparently I have had an excellent response to the chemotherapy but I can’t stop worrying that something is going to be flagged up.
If I’ve had clear CT and bone scans, would something show up now? I’m so frightened.
Sorry for waffling
Xxx
Hi LunaMuna. It’s so easy to think ourselves into a panic isn’t it. I’m an old hand. I’m sorry to say I just don’t know but you sounded so anxious, I thought you deserved a reply. My feeling is I doubt it - I’d be very surprised if anything had a chance to develop with all that chemo and a good response to it. For me, somehow, despite suffering from anxiety and panic disorder since teenage, I managed to stop my mind going to these places. I realised there was nothing I could do about it, what will be will be, and set myself rules - no googling, no searching for info online, ask only the minimum questions and just trust they know what they’re doing. Sorry if it sounds smug but maybe you could retrain your mind? I found some of the YouTube videos very useful, even hypnosis ones. Maybe they worked? I started with Michael Sealey and stopping negativity, then tried a wide range. I’m currently trying the binaural beats ones to help healing and reduce pain as radiotherapy is causing pain in what little breast muscle I have cos I have a rib injury that’s had no time to heal. I really think it works and, if it’s my imagination, I don’t care about being a mug because it’s still a positive result for me. Have you got a BC nurse or an adjuvant oncology nurse? A phone call to them, describing your level of fear about results, would probably result in some simple explanations and a lot of reassurance. Alternatively you could ring the BC team here? It’s hard work being anxious and frightened all the time - adding this to the mix must be s***. Hope you get the reassurance you need. Take good care of yourself, Jan x