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Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

10 REPLIES 10
Wonky
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

You are not alone; this forum is a brilliant source of support! Everything you describe is totally normal. 

As said, planning helps. You are not going to become 'an invalid' overnight, but you need to make sure you are comfy & cosy (as well as organised). Nice, soft PJs and slippers, nice books, music, movies.  You are destined to ride a big wave, no two ways about that! But you have enjoyed good health, and can again! You just have a health-blip to deal with, in between. 

Hoping other ladies will come along with more specific mastectomy and chemo tips, soon. 

It's extra scarey dealing with this on your tod; I know hun X  

 

Shablah
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Thank you. Make sure you update us on your appointment too. Remember everyone here is in a similar boat and it's OK to ask for help, advice and anything else you might need to know. Take care xx

Nannyof2
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

That’s fantastic Shablah & thank you.

Good luck for your appt this week and please let us know how you get on?

I’ll be thinking of you x

Shablah
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

I have a post op appointment this week having had a lumpectomy on new years eve. I was also beside myself but I did what you are doing now and wrote on this forum and the girls who responded to me helped me a lot. Also call the 'someone like me' service. I did, they put you in touch with someone who is out the other side of the treatment, but who has had the same as you, they are all volunteers and It really helps to talk to someone who has been there before you have. X

Nannyof2
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

That’s the problem - I’m fiercely independent!

My appt is this week coming and I find out what & when.

Terrified of spread, mind working overtime 🙈

Im keeping busy, but wow!! Grieving for my previous good health like mad xx 

Shablah
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Hi nannyof2

 

Yes I totally understand but it won't happen. You won't be bedridden. You will get by and it will get easier as time goes on. Take it easy the first few days, as you've said you are very indedependent. That will NOT change at all. These first few weeks straight after diagnosis are the hardest. We have all been there, you are not alone. When is your surgery? X

Nannyof2
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Thank you SO much everyone!

I know it sounds crazy, but in the middle of the night I’m terrified that I won’t be able to do anything and I’ll be bedridden!

Overthinking is a way of life right now and I’m hoping it will settle very quickly.

it really helps to know that I’m not alone xx

Shablah
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Hi nannyof2

 

I'm sorry I forgot to say my breast care nurse told me to download an app called Smiling Mind which I did. It is free and helps managing anxiety and stress. Xx

Shablah
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Hi nannyof2

 

You will manage fine, get the shopping in or ordered online just before you're op. Order easy open packets of stuff and plan your meals for a few days. 

 

Bathing so far for has been fine. I have used an old fashioned fix to the taps shower head. I wash my bottom half, while standing in the bath then my "good" side. I then get out of the bath, dry off and clean my surgery side with wipes. (sensitive pampers). I then roll up a towel, kneel on it and put my head over the bath to wash my hair with one hand, again using the fixed on shower. I stand the shampoo and conditioner in the bath, both open before I wet my hair then its "doable" with one hand. Hope that helps, also it gets easier every day. Sending you best wishes xx

 

 

Wonky
Member

Re: Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Hi Nanny, I'm sorry to read you have BC. I live alone and worried in the same way. I was also told I couldn't drive for 6 weeks post-op. Friends, neighbours and colleagues all offered to help but I decided running a rota and the imposition on them wouldn't suit me ( being independent) so I put some feelers out locally and found a young girl, uni student with a car and needing some pocket-money. It worked well.  She ran the hoover round, helped me to wash my hair, brought groceries that type of thing, as and when needed. I ensured her parents were content every step of the way, her being 'exposed to a cancer situation'.

She didn't have set days/hours, but I paid her by the hour plus gave her petrol money. 

Friends then came into force for the more 'extreme' stuff like immediately before/after op and the emotional support, coming to stay when necessary. 

 

Tesco home delivery is also fantastic. 

It's all about forward planning - as you know! 

Good luck. 

Nannyof2
Member

Anyone living alone - how do you cope?

Hi everyone,

Im just starting my journey and awaiting my treatment plan. I’m told it will be a mastectomy and chemotherapy though.

I live alone and am very independent, but not sure how to cope with basic things like shopping, dressing, bathing etc?? (Late night thoughts and anxieties!!)

Any tips to help? Advice?

Also if anyone else is out there who can share their experiences, that would be amazing!

xx