Hi Evie. I’ve taken another water sample into the surgery for testing but as yet, no phone call to say what’s going on. I’m trying so hard not to let this anxiety take over my body again but my tummy is so painful that it’s dragging me down. The GP on Monday said there are no ‘red flags’ as anything serious but I’ve had this now for over 3 weeks. I feel I just want a scan to check things out but as I had scans when I was bad with anxiety 6 years ago, I wonder sometimes if I’m taken seriously. Got a health check Monday and another appointment with the GP the following Tuesday so it really is just wait and see but that’s so hard when in constant pain. Sorry to be so down but I really hate feeling like this and I feel the medical profession doesn’t give the support needed. Pain is pain whether it’s real or being manifested by the brain and no one should have to be in pain. Thank you for your post and kind wishes, I hope you are doing well Evie.
big hugs xxxx
First of all - welcome Shadow to this thread. I do think sharing experiences and finding out that we aren’t alone with our worries is helpful, and hope you too are finding this forum supportive.
Julie - how annoying that your nurse appointment was cancelled, soooo frustrating, but I hope you get seen early next week.
Tracie - how are you feeling? I’m hoping the water infection has started to go together with the constant pain. I think we all need to remind each other to take one day at a time and not let our minds race ahead. I think I mentioned the Cancer Survivor book that was mentioned on here - in that book it tells us that we must remember that thoughts are only thoughts and not facts.
Sending hugs to all
I agree with you Tracie. I only made the appointment yesterday at 6 and had a call at 9 this morning. It's only a simple procedure I require and can't believe any nurse can't do it.
Water infections can get you down so I hope you're sorted out soon and out of discomfort and worry .
Juliewulie, isn’t it annoying after building yourself up for today’s appointment. I get so upset with the medical profession sometimes, at the moment I’m being treated for a water infection but I’ve had stomach ache for over 3 weeks. The nurse practitioner told me it’s my anxiety, the GP said it was the water infection and I’m left in constant pain believing there is something seriously wrong. I haven’t got another appointment for two weeks which is such a long time to constantly go through the worry. I hope you get your new appointment through quickly.
big hugs xx
Thanks ladies for your support. I had my nurse appointment cancelled this morning as nurse not qualified to do what I needed!! Have to ring Monday afternoon to rearrange as that's when new rota is out.
Hugs to you all.
I’m relatively new to this forum. I have read through the thread and would like to say I’m exactly the same. I’m in a constant state of anxiety from the morning I wake up to the minute I go to bed.
I was diagnosed with grade 2 her negative bc in November in my right breast. I had a lumpectomy in January and 15 sessions of radiotherapy. I had to discontinue the Anastrozole because it made me so ill, but I’m due to go back to see the oncologist next Monday to discuss trying Tamoxifen. I had one lymph gland removed and it showed a slight trace of c but chemo would make only 3% difference so I declined the treatment. Now I’m currently worrying about that too. It’s relentless and I need continual reassurance from my husband etc that I’ve made the right decision.
My anxiety has been helped by Escitalopram and CBT but I suffer from inner trembles, pins and needles in my feet and constant pin pricks on my skin. I had a colonoscopy because bowel c was in the family. It showed mild diverticulitis due to severe constipation, that has now improved, but it seems to be one worry after another. Big hugs to everyone who is suffering this nightmare.
Hi Evie. I do exactly the same to my husband, constantly seeking reassurance that I’m not ill and the GP has covered all topics. I’m definitely going to write down what is said so I can go through it again when I’m home. It’s amazing that thoughts can change so much and so quickly. When I’m in the surgery, everything the GP says makes sense but soon after I get home it’s “what if they are wrong? Why didn’t they do this? Are they missing something?” It’s just a constant roundabout of worries and it’s all very exhausting. It’s so lovely to know that there are lovely ladies like yourself and Juliewulie, who even though are going through the same anxiety are kind enough to share your experiences and take time to post.
big hugs xx
Hi Tracie and Julie
I admire you both for getting the GP to go through all your list - I seem to make the longest list, then stress that I won’t have time to ask all my questions, and that adds to my worries! Tracie - I have found that it helps me to make a note of what the GP/consultant has said, otherwise I find that even though he/she might have reassured me, in my mind the advice changes to something far less reassuring and I drive my husband mad by asking him to go over and over what I have been told.
Julie - I’m glad you got your appointment today and that your GP is keeping an eye on you. She sounds like an understanding lady, that’s good. These next weeks will be stressful for you I’m sure, but we are right here with you - just as you have been right here for us too.
Sending you both big hugs. Xx
Juliewulie, I will be checking in on you to see how you are getting on. I understand completely what you are going through and it really is very thought consuming and tiring to have this anxiety. Really hope things get better for you and you get some answers. Try to be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Big hugs xx
I meant to say I'm seeing the GP again in three weeks. So at least she's keeping an eye on me. I made the appointment over a month ago. I was lucky to get in today. I probably got a cancellation. I have to see the nurse tomorrow regarding more gynae problems. So for the next few weeks if the phone goes I'll be stressing again just for a change.
I agree this is a marvellous site for all of us. I don't know what I'd do without it. I don't always comment but I am on here most days reading reviews.
I thought the same Juliewulie, we are so alike and reading your posts is like reading my own thoughts. It’s so hard to try to be strong and ‘get on with life’ as the anxiety is constantly there. I’m glad your doctor took the time to go through everything with you and you feel a little better for that. I’m all for taking all the help available but sometimes it takes so long to get the appointments that we need. At least here we can chat and know we are not alone with our thoughts and anxiety and it’s lovely to meet such kind ladies. Love to all xxxxx
Thanks Tracie and Evie for your replies and thinking of me.
Tracie I think we could be twins!! Everything you say resonates with me. I went to see the GP and as usual she was very good and understanding. I went in list in hand and we covered everything. She advised me to make sure I carry on with all the help I can get. I'm not sure I can fit it all in. I'm afraid to postpone anything as I've slipped through so many nets. I've waited month's now everything seems to come at once.
Take care both
Hi Evie. That’s a good idea, writing down what the GP said at the appointment to refer back to. It’s finding what works for each individual and although I’m petrified they might find something on a test, a test is the only thing that puts my mind at rest. I always worry that as I suffer from anxiety, the medical profession will always put any ache and pain down to that and miss something! Just another part of anxiety I suppose xx
Good luck for today Juliewulie, I will be thinking of you. You are just like me, every ache and pain sends my anxiety sky high. The only time I’m happy is when I’ve had the tests and they are clear but then another pain starts and it’s off again. I’m hoping to be referred to the gynaecologist at my next appointment in two weeks but it’s already been 4 weeks since I initially went to see the doctor. Wishing you well for today xx
Hi Tracie and Juliewulie
Tracie - I was just thinking about your message and wonder if you could write down what the GP said so that you can refer back to what he/she said? You wrote a very good message, which will be helpful to others suffering from anxiety - it’s always good to be reminded about taking one day at a time, being kind to ourselves and mindfulness. I really hope the anti depressants work quickly and help you.
Juliewulie - thanks for asking about me and remembering my move. I’ve sent you a PM.
Hugs to all
Tracie, I'm exactly the same. I try to go to the same lady GP all the time. She is lovely and keeps saying love you I wish I could do more. I too had lady problems about eighteen months ago and she sent me to see a Gynaecologist. I was beside myself with worry. Every ache and pain I worry about but that said I've always been a worrier but not like this. Like you I will feel fine coming out of the surgery tomorrow but it will soon pass when I come home and face reality again.
Will let you know how things go. Everyone I know who's had reflexology has nothing but praise for it.
Juliewulie, I too went in armed with a list of ailments and worries and my GP went through each in turn. I worry about everything to do with health, every mark, pain, niggle and soreness is cancer in my head. It’s debilitating at times and my constant thought is that I have cancer somewhere in my body. At the moment the focus is stomach and lady internal parts because I am sore (sorry to be so blunt). The GP advised that ladies of a certain age can get this soreness and as soon as she mentioned gynaecologist a few weeks ago, I went into a flat spin and decided I had cancer! Going back today has been helpful but 12 hours on and the high of coming out of the surgery feeling more confident is waining and again I’m trying to fight my feelings of dread. I know the antidepressants take a while to kick in so it’s take each day at a time, be kind to myself and try to keep my brain busy so that I’m not dwelling on my body. It’s so hard not to put everyone before you but we have to think of our well-being and take time to be kind to ourselves. Mindfulness is a great help and reflexology will relax your mind and body which can only benefit you. Anxiety is such a horrible illness and made worse that it can’t be seen physically by others and can be dismissed, but it’s real and we suffer from it. Please take care of yourself and I hope you are feeling a little better soon xx
I hope you don't mind me joining in but I too suffer with anxiety( all the time).
Tracie I'm glad you feel better today after seeing your GP. I too have another appointment with my GP tomorrow evening regarding my issues. I've my list ready!! I am starting a Mindfulness course next week, reflexology this week and hopefully more Counselling in the near future. My biggest problem is that I always put people before me-which I know I shouldn't after "our" diagnosis.
Jaybro I also suffer with the phobia of being sick. It's surprising how many people it affects.
Evie hope you are well and the move went smoothly?
Take Care All.
Doctors appointment done and as I thought, diagnosis is anxiety. At least I recognised it early this time and am now starting a course of antidepressants which I am more than happy to do as they helped a lot before. GP was very good and sympathetic to my symptoms and explained exactly how anxiety can make you believe every twinge is something sinister. I have to accept that I now live with anxiety and sometimes it rears it head when least expected and I have to try to not to let it dominate the life I have. That’s easy to say but taking it day by day has to be a start and accepting that some days are going to be a struggle. Will see the GP in two weeks time to see how things are going. The battle goes on every day so I would like to thank everyone that took the time to respond to my post and send my best wishes to all of you xx
Thank you so much to you all for your kind words and response to my post. I suppose I find it hard to think that I’m going down this anxiety road again after a good while of feeling pretty well. It hits like a bolt out of the blue, a gp appointment unconnected with anything to do with cancer sparks me into believing I’m full of this awful disease. I try so hard to be strong but this time it just isn’t working so knowing you lovely ladies are there and kind enough to share your experiences is wonderful and I thank you with all my heart. I’m at the doctors this morning armed with a list of the way I am feeling and hoping for a positive response. Will update later xx
I hope you don’t mind if I pull you up on this idea of being a burden again. Your husband found this site for you, ergo he wants to help. He’ll share some of your anxiety but that’s his problem - it’s not your responsibility. YOU are your responsibility now. Though I have persuaded my husband to come to some joint counselling so we can discuss a cancer-free future and he can admit he’s still terrified for me.
At the start I found it incredibly difficult to ask for help as I’ve always been fiercely independent but, as my husband doesn’t drive and my phobias ruled out public transport/taxis (now resolved ) I had to ask for lifts. I was astounded at the response. Friends, former colleagues, members of my book group who are mere acquaintances all offered support, even asked if they could be added the my list of helpers. I get taken out to lunch or off for cake now I’m in the recovery stage and I’m being nagged back into exercise. People really care and, at times like this, you see the very best - and pray that somehow you can reciprocate one day. Good luck and remember that anxiety can be managed -once you understand why it’s come. Xx
Hi Tracie - I too would like to send you a big hug, and reassure you that you are not alone with feeling that way. I can’t add much to Jaybro’s advice - which is helpful to all of us who suffer from anxiety, so thank you from me too. I wonder if you have read The Cancer Survivor’s Companion by Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins? That book was recommended on here and I found it really helpful
It’s great that your lovely husband has found this site for you - it really is wonderful, there are so many supportive ladies on here, who are never judgmental and who get what you are saying without you having to explain.
Do keep chatting away on here if/when it helps you.
Tracie - I need a " top up " from my CBT therapist every few months - if you have a lot of stress or you are below par for some reason these things can rear their ugly head again (it's a bugger !! ) - it's buried very deep in that part of your brain that logic doesn't touch !!
Thank you so much Jaybro for your reply to my post. Your advice is invaluable and I will definitely be taking up your suggestions to try to help the anxiety. Pre cancer, I had never suffered from anxiety so it all came as a shock as I always was the strong one in the family that everyone came to. After 2 years of dreadful health anxiety post BC I find now I don’t want to burden family and friends again so your suggestion of talking to professionals is much appreciated and I will definitely get the ball rolling tomorrow at the gps. The meditation sounds a good help too so will be trying this. Thanks again and best wishes to you xxx
I’ve had panic attacks since teenage and suffer from general anxiety disorder so my heart goes out to you. CBT can help one level but may not help at all. The same goes for all the other fixes. Basically, we don’t know enough about our own psyche to be able to pinpoint why we’re reacting this way why we’re more fearful than someone in the ‘same situation.’ Well, first of all, she isn’t. We’re all different. There is no way you are wasting anyone’s time and I would say don’t give up. If a GP dismisses your fears as ‘normal for a woman in your position,’ see another and another till you get one who is willing to help you. They won’t have a quick fix but a sympathetic ear can do so much. It’s important to act quickly before the behaviour pattern of instinctive panic sets in. CBT may be worth a try and, having had a mastectomy, why not go back the the counsellors who specialise in that area? I’m sure Macmillan would welcome you and help you get things back into perspective, so why not contact them?
I experienced no fear of cancer and illness - all I cared about was my phobia for being sick (or not, rather). I think this has protected me throughout the whole thing from diagnosis and surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and today, miraculously, an MRI. I think my life was so tied up for so long with this fear that everything that would upset another person meant relatively little to me. HOWEVER, I still had the anxiety to cope with. I was already on an SSRI. I initially spent 4-5 hours each day, headphones plugged it, following the hypnotherapy videos I selected from YouTube. I’m very cynical but I think the repetition worked. I listened to a different one every night too. I started chemo Christmas Eve and I haven’t had a panic attack since then (amazing). You might give these a try. If you search Michael Sealey in YouTube, you find a whole range from anxiety and IBS (I used that a lot) to negative thoughts and sleep. If you don't like him, I like the woman who does Progressive Hypnosis - I never fail to go to sleep.
Anxiety is seriously underrated with no quick fix. It can turn and effective person into a wreck if it goes unidentified and unchecked. It sounds to me like you haven’t got over the fears after breast cancer and you might do well to return to the original crime scene! The recent Moving Forward course I did made it clear there’s no time limit on this fear. I want to give you a big hug and say it will be ok but I know that makes no difference to the fear because it’s irrational. Consult the experts again and try a lot of free YouTube meditations that can work magic. I thought nothing could help me! Good luck xx
Thank you for your reply Jill1998. I have had 2 lots of CBT and had counselling but that was just after my mastectomy. I suffered with health anxiety for about 2 years before things got better. That was 4 years ago and I’ve been on a pretty even keel since then but after a visit to the gp four weeks ago about a problem unrelated to BC, I’ve become a wreck with health anxiety again and knowing how it affected me before, I really don’t want to go there again. It’s like I’m back to just after my mastectomy, unable to think straight, and in a panic about the pain that has appeared since my gp visit! I can recognise what this is but unable at the moment to rationalise and sort my mind out. I may need another CBT or to revisit a counsellor. It’s just so annoying how your brain plays tricks even after such a long time
Once your body has let you down once it's hard to trust it again and I think pretty normal for a while to have heightened anxiety about any new symptom or ache and pain .Generally this lessens as time goes on but if it's spoiling your life you really need to get some help with it .I had crippling anxiety for about 18 months - I found CBT really helped me - they help you see things in a slightly different way and give you excercises to help you calm down the anxiety.Have you had any help with this ?
Hi. I’m new to the forum and my husband has found this website for me as another way to help with my crippling health anxiety. I was diagnosed with high grade calcifications in my left breast in 2013. A mastectomy followed with no need for radium or chemotherapy treatment. This is when my life changed completely! I have suffered from health anxiety since then but it’s at its height again and I’m really posting to see if anyone has the same experience. My body gives me such pain which is always cancer in my eyes and I just think about this all of the time. I had numerous tests after my mastectomy and everything came back negative but 6 years on, I’m at my wits end again with this anxiety. I’m off to the doctors tomorrow but always feel that I’m wasting their time