Cant seem to move on

Hi everyone I post here occasionally but usually a regular on another forum but wondered if anyone here could help .I was diagnosed in November 2016 with a Grade three in 2 nodes. It was an aggressive tumour no family history and a,massive shock at 48 as someone who never even gets a cold .I have a lovely family but my youngest children though 18 and 15 need me so much .My whole world fell apart. I had clear scans but worry constantly about recurrence .I’ve had mastectomy lymph clearance chemo radiotherapy and ovary removal but still so scared.

 

I’ve had some counselling and take a low dose antidepressant but although much better still find it hard. I grieve so much for my happy life and feel my worries now are so big.  I often wonder how long I may have for my children even though it’s a primary diagnosis. I feel my old,life has gone and I’m so sad. I have to paint a smile on for my family but some days I just break down still. I still can’t quite accept it. 

 

Anyone else felt this after so long and how have you dealt with it. Thank you for reading I know there is no magic answer xx

Hi, I have read your post and feel you would get help and support from some of the services we do at Breast Cancer Care, if you would like to phone us on 0345 077 1893 and we can speak to you about the services we do.  We also have an helpline number which is 0808 800 6000 if you would like to speak to someone regarding your concerns.  Please do not heistate at all to contact us.

Hi TypicalMe

 

If it’s any consulation I feel the same as you. I was diagnosed last November and operated on within weeks.I was doing so well- too well infact. I  like you seem fine and coping well to everyone else but really inside I’m not. I  think I was ok up to and  during my treatment as didn’t have time to think-so much going on with appoinments etc. It’s only now I’ve finished I seem to have hit a brick wall. I too am petrified of it returning but according to advice on here it does get easier. If you’re a worrier like me I think it will take longer to accept. I  downloaded the BECCA app from day one and Headspace yesterday. It’s early days but I’m unsure if it’s for me- I hope to be proved wrong as it has such a good write up. I have also enrolled on a Moving Forward Course but unfortunately it’s not in my area for a while yet. 

By all means we can converse on here and let’s hope we can help each other one way or another.

Take Care.

Hi ladies, reading your posts I just wondered if any of you have been to the Penny Brohn centre in Bristol? It really is fantastic, I can’t praise it enough. If you’re unaware of it, it’s a charity and they offer residential courses lasting a couple of days, where they cover all sorts of things, probably best to look at their website if you’re interested rather than me rabbit on here! There are also day courses and sessions on things like yoga, cookery classes, and relaxation if you live close enough, and they now even run outreach sessions in some areas. On the ‘Living Well’ residential course you can take someone with you, partner, family member or friend, this is kind of their introductory course. Then they have the ‘Approach’ course, on this one you get to see a doctor and nutritionist, they are both lovely and will give advice but nothing is forced onto you. I’ve been there several times now and have really enjoyed it every time, it’s a very calm place yet full of life, if that makes sense? It is all free, they just mention making a donation if you’re in a position to do so but it’s not something they keep mentioning. Certainly worth a look at the website and personally I would say try and go if you haven’t been already, from reading posts a few ladies on here have been. Kxx

Hi to everyone

 

Juliewulie - another :heart: to your name, as from the “Progesterone, other hormones and Fluffy cakes” thread (that’s covered in handbag fluff from me hiding it early on in the thread origins, not fluffy as in “light”!). Made me read up further on you. How’s the yoga going? and have you felt any benefits from the antidepressants yet? Hope the “Moving Forward” course helps. Your Onco sounds very conscientious, not just about treating the cancer, but how it’s affected you personally, which is so great to hear.

 

TypicalMe - Hello dear friend. Haven’t seen you for a while. How are you? May I ask your reasons for coming off the antidepressants, and which ones you were taking? Yeh, I’m a Winter person too. Was born in Jan. Always loved the “crispiness” of the cold months. Tho’ used to love Spring/Summer too, sunbathing etc., before hot flushes (meno/hormonal, not Tamox or other) make the hotter months unbearable now, which is sad. And Yeh, I have too much thinking time, so know what you mean. But my probs aren’t so much around BC now (were partly initiated by, both my experiences of) and I stopped worrying about it coming back quite a few years ago now. Another “but” tho’ - I don’t have kids or other dependents left, but, I can sooo sympathise with those of you that do. Must put a whole different perspective on things for you. 

 

Know it’s difficult, but why DO we worry about it coming back. We can’t stop it happening if it does, so why do we??! and dont just think it won’t and so get back to getting on with it. But we do!! Because it shocks, smashes, and therefore attacks and weakens our thoughts of mortality. 

 

Lotsa love to everyone

Delly xxxxxx