Dread Hospital Appointments

I have an appointment with my onc next week. I’m assuming it’s just a standard check-up, but it still feels scary. The boob is still swollen and painful, four months since active treatment ended ( op and rads) and I know that if he doesn’t like the look of it, I’m destined for another round of tests/scans/worry. 

How do you “move on” when you are constantly on ‘the BC treadmill of anxiety’? 

My life seems to have be consumed since diagnosis, (as much as I try) with no strong promise of an end-date. Even if next week is OK, there is then the start of more mammograms coming along. 

Basically, there is no reprieve from it and tbh I know I’m being a diva, but I’m just sick, sore & tired of being sick, sore & tired! I want my life back! 

Lots of ladies on here quote the scientific details of their BC ( trip neg etc). I was too scared to ask, so I am going to ask onc to write down what exactly my BC is. I do know I had borderline ‘margins’ and was borderline for chemo. Also that the tumour was Grade 3 and “highly aggressive”. And feeding off oestrogen. Sample nodes " clean" but sample was under 25%. 

Needing hugs and inspiration. 

 

 

Sorry you are feeling like this but I know how it feels. I was diagnosed in June 2017 and had a mastectomy the next month. Luckily I didn’t need radiotherapy or chemo but had checkups every 3 months. I was a wreck before every one! I am now down to annual mammograms and checkups but still get scared. I take a friend with me and we make a day out of the appointment, go shopping and for lunch. It does get easier with time xxx

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