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Fear of cancer returning

13 REPLIES 13
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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Dear Anne,

Have just seen your message - I'm just so sorry, such a terrible, terrible shock for you both, for your lovely daughters as well. Life is sometimes cruel, as you say. You can only do your best, look after each other and take all the support you can. Glad you have found Maggies to help you through this.

Will be thinking of you - and I mean that.

Sandpiper

xx 

 

  

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Dear Sandpiper, 

thank you for contacting me. 
unfortunately we Received the news this week that my husband is terminal. They can’t offer much treatment. We are devastated and in shock still.  Our three daughters here for us and have been amazing. I wish I could protect them from all of this but I can’t. 
I’m working on finding  more strength. Life is cruel to us sometimes. We will take things one day at a time. I will be chatting to the lovely   support Ladies at Maggie’s. 

I appreciate your message. 
🌺🌺

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Hello Anne,

Hoping you are managing and that your husband has been able to start his radiotherapy treatment. It's not always possible to keep positive and strong all the time - at least I don't manage it - but do what you can and don't give yourself a hard time if you can't.  Hope that your journal writing helps.

Sandpiper

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Sandpiper

You so kind. I can now concentrate on my poor husband. 
life throws us some cruel blows but we must keep going, being positive and strong. 
all best wishes to you too. 
🌈🌈

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Hello Anne,

Am very relieved for you that your one year mammogram is clear and hoping that your husband is managing with his radiotherapy sessions and that they will make a difference to pain control or spread.

Thinking of you with what you are going through. Don't forget to take good care of yourself as well.

Sandpiper

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Thank you again, I got results of mammogram and all is well after one year. 
now I can concentrate on supporting my husband through his oncoming radiotherapy after poor prognosis. 
much appreciated. 
anne

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

 

Hi Anne,

I'm glad you're getting support from Macmillan and Maggies. They are good - I was going to Maggies before the lockdown - it was a place I could go and just be without having to explain myself. I miss it.

Although I'm not journal writing now I have done it in the past and did find it helped me - writing things down got it all out of my head. Maybe, thinking about it now, I should restart it.

I'm glad you're having some better days.

Sandpiper

x

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Thank you. I am in touch with the Macmillan nurses, and Maggie’s too. They are a lifeline aren’t they. 
I feel bit more in control of things these past couple of days and I am determined take things a day at a time and remain positive!! Work on things I can fix and try and put things I can’t fix at the back of my mind at times. 
I write in my journal each day and get a lot out of doing that. 
so kind of you.

anne

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Hi Anne,

I'm glad you've been able to get your mammogram done more quickly and had the chance to talk to the doctor there - sounds like it's been very helpful.. Hopefully all will be well for you, results wise. 

Are you in touch with Macmillan centre/nurses or somewhere like the Penny Brohn Centre or Maggies for extra support for you both ? They've got helplines and information that you can download from their websites.  You both deserve all the help and support you can get.

Look after yourself and each other.

Sandpiper

xx

 

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

What kind and reassuring words. Appreciated. Thanks. Due to my husbands poor prognosis I asked to be seen by my surgeon as I was just so anxious, stressed, unable to sleep, lost but weight too. Either worrying over his situation or mine, not getting yearly check and mammogram eating away at me. However he examined me and I’ve just had mammogram. I do feel reassured about it all and I await results of mammogram. I feel so thankful I got to see him. I will hopefully calm down now and deal only with what I can do for my husband and take each day as it comes. 
thank you so much. I do have an awful lot to deal with but I am going to be kind to myself and look after myself, and open up to family and friends when I need to. 
🌈🌈

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

It is hard, and that anxiety never goes away completely, but it does get easier to deal with. It is coming up now for 13 years since I was first diagnosed. The annual check-up was always a bit of an anti-climax I felt, I wanted somebody to do a full body scan and say "Congratulations, you are cancer-free!" Unfortunately, that's not how the NHS works. You get a mammogram (assuming you've not had a double MX) and they have a good feel around, then ask generally how you're feeling and that's it. It is NED (no evidence of disease) rather than all clear which I always feel isn't quite so reassuring. However, it does put YOU back in control. You don't go to your GP every few weeks to get him/her to confirm you are healthy, you listen to your body and seek advice if something isn't right, and that's really how it is post treatment. 

So - how do you feel? If you feel well in yourself, haven't noticed any new lumps or bumps, then it's reasonable to expect the checkup won't reveal anything different, so try not to overthink it.

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Dear sandpiper, 

thank you so much for your kind words. I am going to try and take each day as it comes along, baby steps, try be positive. And of course pray this world of Coronavirus we living in can get better in the next few weeks. We all just want our lives to return to normal. One day!! I do appreciate your post. 
anne

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Re: Fear of cancer returning

Hi Anne,

It's tough isn't it and there's no miracle answer? You and your husband have and are going through the mill and have had so much worry for a such a long time. It sounds a bit like the time when when you' re waiting for cancer results first time around - panic, worry and anxiety. You sound like a supportive team and are there for each other. I haven't yet got to my first year follow up - my 1st year mammogram - should be in July but I'm expecting it to be later. Already I'm a getting anxious as well. Maybe someone else who has come through it all can help. Waiting around and setbacks are never easy. Try to take things by the hour and not look too far ahead. The day will arrive and hopefully the news for you will be good.

Wishing you both well and take good care of yourself.

Sandpiper

xx

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Fear of cancer returning

Hi everybody. I was due my first year check up this month but got a letter to say phone call end July only. I’m quite anxious about it. 
1. my husbands diagnosis of his cancer. I so wanted to tell him I had the all clear after one year. 
2. I had two different breast cancers in right breast which floored me at the time of diagnosis. Had mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy. 
it seems such a long time till July ... anybody got any advice to a very anxious lady. I’m dealing with such a lot just now. 
anne