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Feeling out of control

7 REPLIES 7
Pjf0265
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

Hi Lisa74ja

I cantotally understand how you are feeling and sending you a virtual hug Xx  I can't believe your doctors words , sounds like you need a change !  I like you, am struggling to feel happy - the surgeon has said to me that they managed to finally get all the cancer after three ops - I am nearly six weeks since having a mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction and am struggling with the emotions ! I still have to have radiotherapy! People have said to me ,you haven't got cancer now so I should be happy !! I think some people don't understand that when your treatment stops and you aren't seeing the people in the hospital who have given you all the support that you feel lost! It's as though you should be up and running and getting on with life as though nothing has happened but it's not as easy as that when your body is telling you differently! 

Its a scary thing we are going through - I am thankful for this forum and if you ever want to chat please contact me ! 

I hope that with the support on here you will be feeling less lost ! I am going to book some counselling sessions to help with the emotions , do you have that available for you through your hospital ? 

Sending that virtual hug

 

 

 

Pjf0265
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

Hi Lisa74ja

I can totally understand how you are feeling and sending you a virtual hug Xx  I can't believe your doctors words , sounds like you need a change !  I like you, am struggling to feel happy - the surgeon has said to me that they managed to finally get all the cancer after three ops - I am nearly six weeks since having a mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction and am struggling with the emotions ! I still have to have radiotherapy! People have said to me ,you haven't got cancer now so I should be happy !! I think some people don't understand that when your treatment stops and you aren't seeing the people in the hospital who have given you all the support that you feel lost! It's as though you should be up and running and getting on with life as though nothing has happened but it's not as easy as that when your body is telling you differently! 

Its a scary thing we are going through - I am thankful for this forum and if you ever want to chat please contact me ! 

I hope that with the support on here you will be feeling less lost ! I am going to book some counselling sessions to help with the emotions , do you have that available for you through your hospital ? 

Sending that virtual hug

 

 

 

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Feeling out of control

Hi, just spotted your post. What a lot to of dealt with. I do hope things have gotten easier for you. I would imagine your emotions would of been like this, as it's all a shock. Take care.

Lisa74ja
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

Thank you Narniagirl!
Your support is much appreciated xx
NarniaGirl
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

What a despicable employer! Macmillan leaflet says Disability Discrimination includes cancer so I'd guess you'll succeed, but how awful to have to deal with that on top of everything else. I think you've been amazingly strong. Like you, I've finished most of the busy treatment. I reckon that while we're dealing with lots of treatments and tests we rise to the challenge, but then we start using up our reserves and need to rebuild our resilience - employment issues and Christmas rushing have prevented you from doing that. And it's ok to have days not feeling strong even though there's a lot of pressure to reassure everyone we're fine. Rather than think about big issues like being alive and long term plans, my GP recommended taking the time to do nourishing things each day and going easy on the big issues. Maybe see another GP? Or your nurse? I've heard Macmillan offer counselling and this website has a moving on support app BECCA. This charity's helpline is great, as is Macmillan's. By posting on here as well we can all say to each other 'you're not alone' so thanks for sharing too.
Lisa74ja
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

Thank you Anne xx
I guess I just thought the after treatment bit would be easy!
All the very best for your radiotherapy xx
πŸ’•πŸ’•
merrymaker16
Member

Re: Feeling out of control

Hello Lisa,

 

You poor thing, that all sounds horrible. I haven't finished my treatment yet, I start my radiotherapy next week, but can identify with the feelings you describe. Your GP sounds very unsympathetic, and presumably hasn't had personal experience of such a diagnosis, although that doesn't excuse their attitude. It might be helpful for you to contact your nearest Macmillan centre to talk to someone and possibly access some counselling through them.

 

My conclusion about this ghastly experience is that it is life changing and, although people do successfully get on with thier lives afterwards, we are left physically and emotionally scarred. I hope that you have some good support from people whose shoulders you can weep on and who will spend time with you in a variety of ways. In the meantime I'd srtongly suggest changing your GP.

 

Thinking of you and wishing you well. 

 

Anne

Lisa74ja
Member

Feeling out of control

Hi
I finished my treatment for breast cancer in August 18, and threw myself straight into a court battle with my employer who dismissed me for timeoff during treatment. During this time I put on my big girls pants and tried to find another job.....and then it was the giddy and super run up to Christmas.

Now though with nothing to occupy my mind I feel really down, it’s just beginning to sink in how much Cancer has altered me, physically and emotionally. I am lacking confidence. I keep crying (and blaming the Tamoxifen!)
I feel completely out of control and a little lost. I spoke to my GP who told me I should just be grateful to be alive, and I am but I feel sad
Is this normal