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Going Round the Bend!

10 REPLIES 10
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hi Ann and Helena! Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. The troll has not bothered me again since I responded to their nasty opinionated comments and I have had support from some of my other FB friends who have applauded me for speaking out and for having  justthe courage for just being 'me'. Sending hugs to you both xxx

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Community Champion

Re: Going Round the Bend!

oldspice

 

Good for you, totally agree with what ann said.

 

Helena xx

 

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Community Champion

Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hi Oldspice,

I would say well done for challenging this & it sounded like this person could do with being put straight.

As we all know, there are some people spouting dubious stuff out there & it should be challanged, so good on you!

Do take care

ann x

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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hi all. Just thought I would update you - I have been trolled on FB yet again by somebody who disagrees with my lifestyle choices. This time it was because of a response I posted months ago on a site called Nutritional Facts. Org on some scaremongering thing that eggs caused breast cancer. As at the time I was sick of all the do's and don'ts and said why not just eat grass or stop breathing as at this rate everything will cause cancer. Then suddenly out of the blue today I am accused of being stupid and angry for refusing to adopt an organic or microbiotic whole foods diet! FFS!! As the person asked why I was like this ? I gave her a swift response saying more or less what I have already commented on this forum, also that there was no evidence for her claims that this sort of diet can stop cancer, but I was not going to be drawn into an argument but we are all entitled to our opinions. The trolling stopped but I still feel quite down as I can't stop thinking am I doing the right thing in being so opinionated but a good thing is that I have not commented on anything for some time now it is just unfortunate that someone came back on an old post! 

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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hello Oldspice,
Hope you had a refreshing walk. Yes it is difficult being positive and brave sometimes. I don't know Oncotype score or recurrence risk either. Even if I did it would still be an indication of risk and not a definite.
Anyway, the link below (hope it works) may give you more of an insight into working out alcohol units. Recommended max weekly units are based on advice to general population. As you indicated previously, recommended for people who have had breast cancer is upto 5 units a week.
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/calculating-alcohol-units/

Remember, beating yourself up and stressing about it may do more damage than enjoying a drink!! As said previously, if it is really bugging you, then enjoy a mix of alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks.
Take care,
Chick 🐥 x
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hi Chick and Mishy, thanks so much for your support. I must seem a real moaning Myrtle but I am not ashamed to admit I struggle with being brave and positive. My OH always uses the 'there are people worse boff than you card's but having Aspergers and SAD is no picnic! I have to say I do 'cane it' with the alcohol on a few occasions like birthdays, holidays and Christmas but other times I have about 3 glasses of wine or 4 halves of beer or 3-4 G&TS so I am not sure if that qualifies as moderation or not as I only drink on Saturday as a rule. I worry about the disruption on Tamoxifen as I don't know my oncotype DX (chance of recurrence/Mets) as no one will tell me, and this would assist in helping me making choices. It is 'don't know' factor which sends my stress into overdrive! Anyway despite bit bucketing down with rain in lovely South Wales I am donning my waterproofs and heading out for a walk today. Sending hugs xxx
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hello Oldspice,

If it is of any help, I also enjoy a (guiltless) drink now and again. I probably drink more post treatment and was virtually teetotal before treatment. Nothing to do with cancer or treatment though, but more to do with having more food with wine via increased socialising! However, it is still within moderation and a number of alcohol free days. Anyway, being a healthy weight, lots of exercise, hardly drinking and eating healthy did not stop me getting cancer in the first place!!

If you enjoy unwinding and socialising at the pub, then why stop? Is it not possible to have non alcoholic drinks or a mix of these and a couple of alcoholic drinks when at the pub?

Some stats from Cancer Research UK to perhaps help put things into perspective -

8% of breast cancer each year caused by alcohol.

Out of 1000 women, if they drink NO alcohol, then 116 will be diagnosed with BC. If drink 3 units a day, then 121 diagnosed, 3 to 6 units per day, then 143 diagnosed and more than 6 units a day, 186 will be diagnosed.

Alcohol can increase the risk factors for a number of cancers due to how it breaks down into toxins which can lead to DNA damage and poor repair. The link with breast cancer is due to causing increased levels of hormones such as oestrogen. I also saw some reseach stating that alcohol could reduce the effectiveness of tamoxifen.

My advice would be to stay away from Social Media if the responses just cause you more anxiety and upset. There is a whole mountain of dos and don'ts - but only if you pay any attention to them. I would personally just concentrate on the basics of following general healthy eating, activity and alcohol in moderation advice. You need to enjoy your life as well.
Take care
🐥 Chick x
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hiya I know what you mean about January for some strange unknown reasons it's a downer month I think when your own area has little to offer it makes it doubly hard too oh to live in a picturesque village wouldn't that be a treat financially I worry I was made redundant 3 months after treatment ended ironically as I was returning I tried in vain to be redeployed but due to a spine condition which I'm currently waiting for surgery on an bc treatment fall out there was nothing for me I took redundancy and it has been paying housing costs and a few extras but that will eventually run out I have a face to face for Esa which will probably result in me being kicked off but I can't look for work due to my current situation!!!!! My relationship with oh has suffered too I think that can be quite common for a lot of us as we change after going through something like this but I'm keep looking forward again as I say don't feel rubbish for other people and their thoughtless comments just because you go to the pub doesn't mean you are caning it, I really hope you start to feel a little better have you tried a journal I have started writing down stuff it helps massively well it does for me again going for a walk does it too gardening programmes are quite relaxing also I'm not an oldie but they help me!!! I haven't got aspergers so I admire you for dealing with Breast Cancer with an existing condition you should give yourself credit for that!!!!! Just wanted to reach out it's not nice feeling the way you do sometimes good to hear others can have similar feelings xx
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Thanks Mishy. I always struggle in January I thought I could avoid the usual tidal wave of anxiety/depression by having a massage and getting out for some walks however things have not panned out as planned - I and my husband are carers for his elderly parents which takes up a lot of our time and the nice weather has been ironically while I am in work and by weekend it is raining! I have tried to find other activities than the pub but the local artspace has just closed and there is very little choice in classes at YMCA or leisure centre unless you like running on a treadmill or playing squash! It really is hard. I can't get a GP appointment - booked up for weeks apart from emergencies - and if I ask my husband if we can give the pub a miss he gets very defensive and says I am miserable and then when I try to reason with him abouty health it is 'game on' with arguments. I have thought about leaving him but with the situation I am in I risk becoming homeless and could wind up on the streets (the authorities deem me as low priority for help or housing even if I didn't work). Being a cancer survivor I know I could die in that situation too, so I really am in the classic catch 22. I look forward to Spring too but I don't think this stand off can go on much longer and I am scared I am going to crack up and have a nervous breakdown unless something gives. Trouble is I don't have a clue how to fix it. Sending hugs Michele x
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Re: Going Round the Bend!

Hi Old spice I'm sorry you're feeling like this you are right that it seems to be everywhere social media is fantastic but has its drawbacks too I think it's distressing that you are being attacked like this for your choices it's your life and to be honest it's hard enough living in fear of recurrences without being reminded by others what you should or shouldn't be doing, I've given up alcohol but was an easy descion.for me but everonev seems to not incandescent get on my case for not letting my hair down you can't win, I'm not the same since being diagnosed I suffer with outs of anxiety and I can sympathise as it's bloody awful when it gets in I have managed to go it alone without meds but noonen actually warns you about the effects on diagnosis on mental health maybe its the stiff British upper lip thing that people don't want to admit it's happening as it might make us look weak as if!!!!!! Listen oldspice don't beat yourself up you are not the only one I'm sure many of the lafieswho post here get anxious otherwise why would we seek solace here in the first place just pat yourself on the back for what you have been through and survived not long now till winter will leave us which is usually good for the mood take care xxxxx

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Going Round the Bend!

Hi me again. Please help!  I just can't seem to stop the anxiety attacks and all this BC stuff is driving me round the bend! Every day there is something on social media or in the news with all these do's and don'ts to stop it coming back but low income non-professional people like me ( 'povs ') don't have the money or time to do even half of what is suggested! Where I live there is very little recreation opportunity and what is available is only in work hours but I work 40 hour week plus extra 10 hours commute so no use to me. So the bottom line is for me a few drinks at the weekend is my way of unwinding.  However there are now so many scare stories, (even on this website it recommends 5 or less units per week and sometimes that's hard to stick to). If I comment on any FB posts saying I am a BC survivor but want to drink in moderation I get trolled as a selfish bitch who is ungrateful to the NHS and negligent of my future health. On top of this my husband refuses to support me and go teetotal and has even voiced he will go out on his own and leave me home alone! This would really suck as I have Aspergers Syndrome so no real friends to call on and my family are not close either because they are not comfortable with my condition. I can do some things on my own on Saturday afternoons, such as sewing classes and I love walking but it is nearly always raining on weekends so I am confined to barracks. Evening TV on weekends is rubbish too - mostly alternative comedy, foreign drama, game shows or reality shows which I HATE but I can't afford cable or sky. So I end up either twiddling my thumbs or die of boredom! I feel like Odo in Deep Space 9 and just want to get away from everything and regenerate in a pail! I can't adjust to a new normal and I feel a failure. Life doesn't feel worth living having this fear in my rear view mirror all the time 😵 Sorry for the long post but wanted to get it out of my system somehow.