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Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Morning ladies

Sending hugs to you all.......xx

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

A very good morning Jill and all ladies.....

Great that you had some good sleep..... me, been waking up and then find it hard to go back to sleep..... maybe it's the hubby's snoring!!

Ahhhhhhhh...... arrrgggghhhhh.......me tooo, morning is the toughest but sometimes at other times of the day, my anxiety just hits me 

 

 

Today has been hard..... can I get some virtual hugs!!

 

To all ladies..... sending positive thoughts..... have a lovely day......❤️

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Good morning ladies .Managed some sleep til about 6 am which is progress.Mornings are the worst time for me .Husband gone to work already an hour early ....think he has had enough of all of this .Yeh,me too !!!
maryminder
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Good night fellow wobblers, heres hoping we all get as much peaceful sleep as possible

Hugs

Mary x

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Always room for more Janey 😊!!
Janey2
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Room for another wobbler?! I am practicing breathing and visualisation techniques but difficult to find space to do it. Gardening works for me but it's just too wet. X
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Sue ,not good but not as bad as I have been -so good and bad really !!! Hope alll fellow "wobblers" are doing as well
as they can .Hoping for a good nights sleep and waking up feeling more " sane " ,fingers crossed eh !! I do think accupunctiure has helped a bit managed a short walk with dog and trip to corner shop -progress !!







Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Jill

How are you doing today?

Xx

GillieAnn
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Oooops. Sorry.

GillieAnn
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

The one thing I've learned from anxiety and depression is that I am strong, it maybe messy sometimes (think screaming abdabs!) But I've survived, just as we are all dealing (in our ways) with breast cancer. Somewhere along the line I learned to forgive myself for my 'weakness', then to like myself and finally to love my spirit. Not easy, but I wish that for you all.

 

You are all so strong, and we all deserve a good quality of life. Huuuuuuuug!!!!!!!!!!

 

Gillx

 

GillieAnn
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

The one thing I've learned from anxiety and depression is that I am strong, it maybe messy sometimes (think screaming abdabs!) But I've survived, just as we are all dealing (in our ways) with breast cancer. Somewhere along the line I learned to forgive myself for my 'weakness', then to like myself and finally to love my spirit. Not easy, but I wish that for you all.

 

You are all so strong, and we all deserve a good quality of life. Huuuuuuuug!

 

Gillx

 

GillieAnn
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

I am so glad guys, well done! This life stuff isn't easy and it's so not for wimps!

 

Another hug anyone!

 

Gillx

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hello GillieAnn, thank you so very much for your posting....made me cried because all you said is so true.

 

You are absolutely right, every time I take my pill, my anxiety is calmed and I could pass the day with much ease. BUT I have made the decision to try not to take the pill because I am so worried if I get addicted and thought I could face it with my own willpower.

You just made me realise that by not taking my pill, I am also torturing myself, making my days miserable and so tiring. I am so upset with myself that my anxieties are getting worse as I can't seem to function as normal as before.

Yes, it is hard..... really hard..... like you said, it will pass and I hope and pray for all ladies here that, it will pass quick

Big hugs, Gill and thank you again.

Take care

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Thank you so much Gill xxxx
I didn't realise how much I was holding inside until I saw your post and had a little cry😢
Every symptom I get, I think the worst. Fed up with putting myself through this every time.
I've decided not to burden my family with this anymore and am going to do this one on my own.
I get so much from this site, in terms of support from others and also advising ladies where I can.
Am truly grateful xxx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Gillieann ,you are very welcome to join us and any help thoughts appreciated. Been to GP - didn't run away but felt like it !!!
GillieAnn
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Ladies,

 

I hope you don't mind if I jump on board. Good luck at those appointments. Jill and Sue, I too wanted to say that you have been such a support to me at times since this time last year when my letter popped through the door and all this Breast Cancer stuff started. Big hugs, isn't it stange that in the middle of our own pain you can do so much good. 

 

I have a big history with depression, dodgy brain chemicals seem to run in my family, my own experience started with post-natal depression. What I want to say is, being uber anxious is so uncomfortable physically, but also torture mentally. Every minute, hour, day, week you endure is a victory, and also says a lot about your strength of personality. I know it can be wearing for those around you, but don't let anyone let you feel bad about this. BUT MOST IMPORTANT (sorry for shouting) is that you will get better, it will go away, not sure when or how, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER.

 

I've been following your discussions about whether to take the medication or not, no one can make that decision for you. My experience is that I was on and off various pills for years, when a bout of depression came along I always thought I could deal with it on my own but it got harder and harder as I got older, menopause etc. So now I am some fab pills that give me a good quality of life. Lets face it, a good, enjoyable life is what is important now and we deserve it.

 

How does this help you? Not sure really, but I think if you are having problems sleeping, are really anxious and low, you should go for it. After all think what we have been through physically (think hormones) and mentally. They may just give you a holiday from the torture which is constant anxiety. One way to do it is to decide to give it 3 months, it will take that long to work properly. Then review it. People I know who don't need medication tend to take themselves off it and stay off, this stuff isn't addictive.

 

I do remember how devastated I was when I first realised I had no choice but to take the medication. I felt so useless, but I had two baby girls I could barely look after. You know that was harder than being told I had breast cancer.

 

Oops may have dumped on you rather than supported you. But, I really know what you are going through is so hard, but it will pass, honestly. I've got the tee-shirt.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Now what about another HUG...........

 

Love, Gill

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Good luck Jill at your doctors...... try your best not to run away 😄

 

Good luck Sue C at your appointment.

 

Thinking of both of you and hope that everything will be A alright

 

Take good care ❤️

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Thanks Jbelle and Debbie xx

Debbie1964
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Good luck at doctors today jill , lack of sleep is awfull isnt it, seems these meds we have to take have alot to answer for.

 

Good luck sue with your appointment, just wanted to give you both a hug, you ladys are so supportive to others and i just want you to know that im thinking about you both during your anxious and wobbly times x

 

Debbie xx

 

 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Wish me luck !!!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Slept ok til 3am ,then woke up with pounding heart feeling dreadful .Another long night -off to GP 9.15 ,will take all my energy to get there and not run away !!!
Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hello Jill, hope that you had a good sleep last night. 💤💤💤 and your breathing is alright.

As for the acupuncture, maybe, going for a couple more times would bring in the benefits......

That's interesting that she thinks that antidepressants will bring in more anxiety...... thought it would help calm us down..... but not to be dependent on them.

Sometimes, I think I have gone nutty ..... until I got on to this website and found ladies who are facing the same issues. 

Sending BIG HUGs......and have a lovely day 

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hello Sue C...... every time, there is a pain, a bump, etc..... I too would have a wobble or few wobbles as I would always think of the worst. If it is any consolation, my doctor told me that it is normal as none of us want to be sick and because of what we have or going through, our mind very quickly think of the worst scenario.

Sending you hugs....hugs....hugs......😃And hope that all is alright

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Keep everything crossed for me - could do with some sleep ,last night was a very long night !!!!
maryminder
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

I agree Jill a simple life would be great, hope things get better for you tonight 

Hugs

Mary x

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Thanks ladies

Blueash, I think we were on the same timescales! I remember you were the first person to reach out to me and I will be forever grateful.

My sensible head says how can I possibly have a problem after all the treatment, but it just keeps niggling away at me.

Sue xx

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Ps she told me not to bother with the anti -depressant as side effect can be worse anxiety !!!! She thinks it is all linked to medication I am taking .
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Going again Friday so hopefully things will
shift ,in the meantime tonight can't breathe properly -happy days !!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Would be great if it was that simple eh Mary??!! None of us would chose this would we ??
maryminder
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Ladies

 

Sorry you didn't get more from the acupuncture Jill, maybe a couple more sessions may make a difference, Suec will keep everything crossed for you we always think the worst, my GP said the red marks on my scar are probably psoriosis but it still niggles and I know I will get the Onc to check when I see him next.

 

It's difficult because we all want to feel "normal" again, I know I constantley compare myself with others and then stress about my percieved failure which makes me feel worse, it's a vicious circle, commom sense head tells me that most people are probably struggling with everyday rubbish like me, we all present ourselves to the outside world as doing well and I don't know why Smiley Sad

 

I spent today at home waiting for some furniture to be delivered so couldn't do my usual " rush around and get everything done before lunch" and I have had time to assess myself and came to the conclusion that I need to give myself a bloody break it is less than 5 months since active treatment finished and I am still working with the Onc to sort out hormone therapy, it's no wonder I am struggling with my feelings both physically and mentally, just need to keep telling anxious head to butt out Smiley Frustrated

 

Hugs and Best Wishes

Mary x

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Very probably a cyst but until you know ...Been to accuppuncture today she thinks breathing problems caused by the painkillers I've been taking and anxiety being caused by new inhaler -answers on a postcard please- what to do next ???
blueash
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hello Sue,

 

I have something similar, I went to see the surgeon and she found a seroma/hematoma that I have to get drained. I bet you have the same. I had a lumpectomy, chemo and rads and I finished the rads in December. I said I really did not want to be pulled about anymore but she said if it was goind to go away on its own it would have done by now so I am going on Friday then back to see her in a fortnight.

Sue C
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hi Ladies

 

Having a wobble and looking for some virtual hugs!!

 

Im having a check up next week after seeing the gp. When she examined me it was really sore and she found what she thought was a cyst. But of course I'm thinking the worse. It's right next to where I had the lumpectomy. I had chemo and rads finishing end of last year and am now on letrozole and zoladex. 

 

Have lost my sensible head and need some calming words xx

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Many thanks Blueash for sharing what helps you and for giving the few links ...... will have a read through. Really appreciate your advise. Take care

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Oopsss....u asked how long it last. Supposed to take one tablet at night and another in the day but I only have taken half a tablet in the day and found the effects lasting till night. Only once, I have taken another half tablet in the night. 

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hiya Jill..... no..... so far, there's no side effect. In fact, it does calm the anxiety..... the only worry I have is that I may get hooked on it. Good luck with your acupuncture tomorrow. Take care, Jill ....hugs

blueash
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

You can get CDs etc and they are helpful BUT I learned to meditate at the Heruka Centre in London years ago and they said that if you learn with just your breathing first you will always be able to access the calm mind. That is because you can never be without your breath! If you learn with props like a video or a tape or music they may not always be to hand when you are anxious.

 

http://www.meditateinlondon.org.uk/

 

If you want to go for actual lessons just be aware that they will last about 30 minutes or more and if you get hooked and want to learn it all then great. if not then it can seem an eternity and you may be put off so just try by yourself and experiment. If you like it get some instructions from the experts or check out youtube.

 

Here is my favourite teacher:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fRlRLmFz8c

blueash
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

How to meditate.

You need a quiet room, no TV, radio or phone to disturb you for the next few minutes.

You need to sit upright in a dining type chair.

Close your eyes and draw your attention to your breathing.

See how many seconds it takes you to comfortably breath in.

When you have established a comfortable count – say 4 but it might be more or less. The count does not matter so long as it is comfortable for you but 4 is the example.

Whatever your in breath count is – make your out breath count a second or two longer.

Just do that for 3 or 4 minutes don’t struggle with it just set that time aside as a bit of “me time”.

 

Do this for several days and if it is helpful move on to this:

 

http://www.wildmind.org/background

or this

http://dharmadoor.org/blog-2/

 

Don't be afraid that you will have to become a Buddhist but they have done far more to bring meditation to the West than anyone and the instructions are clear and concise. But you can leave all the religious stuff behind and it still works!!

 

 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Cheers !
blueash
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

OK ladies - I can help. Well let me rephrase that, I can tell you what helps me and that is meditation. You can do it whether you believe in God or not because what it does is to slow your brain waves down!! Not joking. The anti depressants will slow them down, as will smoking cannabis or a few other things legal or otherwise but honestly if you will give it 3 to 5 minutes a day for a week then you will see benefits and before you know it you will be in a much better frame of mind.

 

You do not have to adopt a pose that only a contortionist is capable of, nor become a vegetarian or do anything other than set aside a few minutes and decide to help yourself. Let me find some helpful links and I will be back xxx

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Glad to talk to someone who understands !!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Any side effects ? How long does it last ? Worth having as a back up if it works for you on a bad day but I agree re pills too - just want a magic wand .I will let you know re acupuncture - first challenge will be getting there! Yes,my husband has had enough ,just wants normality and has very little patience which doesn't help - willask accupuncturist re those herbal pills too.
Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Yes, Jill, it is natural. If you look it up, the info is pretty complete. So my doctor put me on this 3 weeks ago and am quite happy with it as it does help calm my anxiety. But don't want to take it daily as I don't want to be popping pills every time I get anxiety.

I am clingy also and I think I am wearing my hubby's patience thin. Me too, trying to take my mind off by walking, talking..... just wish that that anxiety will just go away 😩

Really hope that the acupuncture will work .....do let me know .... don't mind trying that out

Thank you so much for taking the time talking to me......Hugs ❤️

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Is it a natural supplement ?Just looked it up .
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

At the moment I am handling it by coming on here when really bad and trying to be helpful and also trying to distract myself with messages to and from friends,Going for walks with son and getting him to distract me with conversation ,but it's very hard Husband getting exhausted by it as I'm so clingy .Not heard of the medication you take what exactly is it ?
Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Love this..... gibbering wreck club. You made me smile😁

Jbelle
Member

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Hello Jill, many thanks for welcoming me onboard. Oh my gosh..... am the same..... can't be on my own .... don't want to go out. Initially, 2 years ago, I was prescribed with Xanax and I felt so spaced out that I rather not take it. Last month, I was prescribed with Alpranax, which I only take half a tablet when my anxiety gets really bad. This does work for me but I don't want to be dependent on these. Trying very hard to find alternatives..... also just started therapy, clinical hypnotherapy with CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) ..... too early to say if it is going to work. Actually, my anxiety got progressively worse and am at wits end at not knowing what to do with myself. Used to be upbeat and positive......now I can't figure what's happening with my emotions. Ahhhh..... sorry for ranting!! How do you handle your anxieties, Jill? 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

You are not a wimp it is truly horrible - feel like my teenage son has become my carer as I hate being on my own or going out alone .Take it the anti- depressants haven't solved the problem for you - how long have you been taking them ?
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Ditto re anxiety- I had hysterectomy in April and been all down hill from there -anxiety overwhelming at times ,particularly in the mornings .Have been offered Sertraline but not taken it yet .Going for acupuncture tomorrow see if that can help -what has GP suggested to you?
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Need Hug or Kick up the Backside

Welcome to the gibbering wreck club !!!