Lovely people of this community, this is my first post but have read many and feel the need for your support.
I was diagnosed with IBC in Oct 2015, had chemo over that winter, a mastectomy March 16, the radiotherapy that August - while continuing with 3 weekly Herceptin jabs - which finished end of Jan 17.
I’m up for reconstruction but my depression, low self esteem and lack of motivation are making this more and more unlikely!
I’m on anti depressants and Tamoxifen…both of which make it difficult to lose weight. My joints ache and I comfort ear. I know this is self sabotage but just don’t know what to do about it. The ‘screw it’ factir takes over each time and it’s a vicious circle as I’m down because of how I look but can’t sustain any kind of diet or eating plan. I’m paying for slimming world but not sticking to it, I’m probably drinking far too much and I just feel completely rubbish!
I cry all the time and really hate myself. Any advice gratefully received.
Apologies for being so self indulgent but I fi d it hard to talk the the people around me as they really don’t understand xx
Hi Jls,
First of all, welcome to the forum, although sorry to see how you’re feeling currently, you’re not being self indulgent.
Others here have felt the way you do after treatment, so you’re not alone with this & hopefully, others will be along shortly to share experiences.
Have you, or is there a ‘Moving forward’ course you could access, others have found it helpful in coming to terms with it all, as well as getting some counselling support?
If you have one, your BCN would know what’s available or do give the helpline here a ring.
Sending hugs
ann x
Hi JLS - first of all I’m sending you a big virtual hug. As you will have seen this is a great place to offload, to say exactly what you are thinking and how you are feeling without being judged. Everyone understands exactly how you are feeling and why. It’s so tough. Please don’t think you are being self indulgent, you are not at all.
I think Ann has sent some good suggestions - see if your hospital has a counsellor you can see. Or maybe there is a support group there where you could chat to others who have been through the same.
I have had some counselling sessions and one thing I learned was to stop beating myself up for things I had done/not done. It’s a step but I think you need to be kind to yourself.
Do chat away on here anytime you need.
Evie xx
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, i have been in a similar situation. I’m 5 years on the best advice i can give is ‘be kind to yourself and give it time.’ best wishes.
Hi JLS, I took tamoxifen and could not loose weight and my joints hurt and my eyes were always sore, I took it for two years I had to give up with it as I just could not put up with how it made me feel, not saying you should I just know what you mean its a really hard time but it will pass I think it helps to just take one day at a time, hang in there your doing great, and yes it’s hard to talk to lived ones because we don’t want them to worry xx
Hi, thank you for your comments, I had counselling but didn’t find it useful sadly.
The moving on group in my area is day time and I work…I do get support from a local cancer charity who provide alternative therapies and that’s lovely xx
JLS, HI again, it’s not a easy road to be on and it can get you down, just keep asking for as much help as you can, none of us ask for this and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it, any time you need to chat just say. Big hugs