Recovery on an emotional level

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Coping with fear and anxiety
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I’ve not felt the need to post on the forum for awhile. However a couple of weeks ago we went away on holiday in the U.K. and anxiety got the better of me and we came home early. I’m not expecting answers just felt like sharing my story.
To cut a long story short I took early retirement from the NHS nearly 5 years ago. Eighteen months into my retirement the pandemic arrived and just as the U.K. was opening up in the summer of 2021 my partner had a stroke. He made a full recovery but then started months of investigations ending with a pacemaker being fitted. 
As my partner finished physio and was moving more freely we breathed a sigh of relief thinking NHS appointments were over. I was then recalled after a routine mammogram.

I have recovered well from my mastectomy and have minimal side effects from anastrozole and Alendronic acid. Our lives have opened up again and I’ve been feeling more like my old self.

It wasn’t until I did some courses with my local breast care team that I realised how organised by anxiety my life had become. I think being away from my partner and then on holiday being in a remote cottage spooked me.

I made a self-referral to the cancer care counselling plus booked a massage and reflexology appointment. Only my closest friends know I’ve had an emotional wobble and all are encouraging me to pace myself and be gentle with myself. 
This recovery lark is up and down!

Thanks for reading

Annie 

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Hope you are feeling ok this week Annie , it’s really good you’ve accessed some support and please always post here when you have a wobble , we understand. when you are going through treatment your mind is just focussed on surviving that , once the dust settles the fact that you’ve had cancer can hit you , sometimes when you least expect it I think . You’ve had so much to deal with it’s not surprising anxiety creeps up and gets you every now and again - it’s a normal part of recovery so please don’t give yourself a hard over that . Breast Cancer Now has moving forward courses that can be helpful -I think some are on line and some in person . Please come and chat whenever you need to . Best wishes Jill x

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I agree it’s great you posted this. I think my anxiety goes up and down, away from the familiar can make it worse for me too. Also any time I’m coming up to an anniversary of treatment my anxiety rises enormously, then will go back down after. I have found myself attached to my weighted blanket, literally my comfort blanket for sleeping and a respite from worry.