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Scared of recurrence

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Re: Scared of recurrence

So glad your keeping well hun, and living life to the full with having loads to look forward tooπŸ€— me too going on holiday in May can’t wait, 

Don’t put my life on hold anymore, does change your way in thinking, 

most of the time I’m positive thinking,

 but at times do have a blip 😘

Be good to keep in touch xxx

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Hi Harps, im good thanks, im glad you are doing well too, its lovely to hear from you, im busy planning a couple of holidays to help take my mind off the dreaded 'c' and trying to get back to normality and hopefully we can see this as a blip in our lives eh! Its not easy to put this behind us but we have come through the ordeal and are both doing well! Take care, keep in touch lovely xx 

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Re: Scared of recurrence

How are you keeping Deb, so far so good with meπŸ€—Xx

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Thanks Delly. I continue to fight the good fight with a bit of retail therapy a good book and a couple of G&TS 😍🍸❀️

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Hi oldspice

We've bumped into each other before. It WILL get better - I promise you  Heart 

Lotsa love, DoolallyDelly xxxx

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Hi deejay, I am almost 5 years out from DX in 2014 but being on the autism spectrum and naturally anxious, my fear of recurrence hasn't gotten any better! In fact I am a regular on this forum thread as I am always worried or depressed. I have struggled with finding a new normal so to cope I carry on with my 'old' normal as best I can and to hell with it. However there are so many negative stories and 'dos and 'donts' on social media it sends me into meltdown sometimes! I have my annual mammo in June and again it will be squeaky bum time as the what ifs will be racing through mind but I keep the mantra ''his too shall pass' and hope for the best.  Sending hugs x

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Morning deejay (are you one??)

 

That's 5yrs final review + 7 - so 12 years clear. Yeh, I totally understand you feeling extra scared from your affected nodes. Fortunately, or unfortunately, whichever way you look at it, all my nodes each side were removed same time as the mastectomies.

Keep using the Forum. You'll get lots of great support when you need it.

Lots of love, Delly xxxxxx

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Delly - Thank you, i dont want to wish my life away but i will be so relieved to get to 5 or 7 years clear like yourself! You are right and i am trying to focus on living rather than letting this diagnosis take over my life! I think its harder at the moment as its only 12 months since my diagnosis and i find it difficult to deal with the 10 positive nodes i had affected that my mind runs away with the horrible thoughts of it coming back! My tumour was relatively small so it was a shock to get a worse diagnosis than expected but as my oncologist says, they just dont know whether it will or wont come back in anyone so i need to live my life! I am trying and this forum does help especially when people like yourself help to support people like myself relatively new to this awful diagnosis! Im sure with time and hearing more positive survivor stories i will be less anxious and when you reach 10 years clear i will hooefully be on my way to 5 years clear! Xx
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Don't get me wrong, I'm not supercoolwoman and not beyond a wobble sometimes. Something can crop up occasionally, that'll give me a reminder and bring it up to the front again, such as some liver shadows found on a scan, three years ago. Turned out to be quite common darker areas, a bit like birth marks, and nothing to worry about. All that transpired because I was having a few problems with my stomach, which the GP wanted to have checked out thoroughly (bless him). The stomach prob turned out to be a hiatus hernia. But yeh, "shadows"? certainly had me wobbling for a while there, and then any thoughts of C all got quickly put to the back of my mind again.

But there's a difference between being diligent when it's necessary, and worrying about things that aren't there.

Mishy - Yes, of COURSE it is only natural. We've all been through a major massive trauma and shock, that's changed our lives and attitudes. Yearly mammo's and reviews will tend bring it all up again "Am I gonna be clear? Will I ever be able to trust my body again?" etc. I felt huge relief to reach the 5 yr mark and be discharged, 7 yrs ago now, so that's 12 yrs clear.

So I've got a flippin Hiatus Hernia. What else? A progressive hand prob, which personally is way more upsetting to me than no boobs and worrying about BC secondaries, having always been very dexterous, and skillful with my hands. Oh, and supposed Bi-Polar Disorder. Flippin nuisance. (just having a vent).

Took a while to reach this attitude to BC, definitely after year 5 for me. But you will do. Don't let the bleep "rule" the rest of what we do have, with "what ifs". Deal with "What if" - when IF becomes a definite IS!!  Heart

I have to say, reading through all your posts on here, you're doing a great job of supporting and bolstering each other up. It's good to share a moan, vent or stomp, experiences, knowledge. Was obviously the founding person's idea behind this wonderful Forum. Whoever it was, deserves a medal, MBE at least.

See you elsewhere if not here.

Lots of love to you all, Delly xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

   

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Delly - you are right, i do need to focus on living more thsn worrying about something thats not happened, thankyou lovely xx
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Delly - Thank you i think thats what i need xx
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Ps., I'm pretty sure it's in this same section, "Moving Forward . . /Coping With . . . but there's a previous "Are There Any Positive Stories Out There?", that's chackablock full of 'em   xxx 

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Hey Deejay and Harps

 

I didn't have the same diagnosis. Grade 3, Her+ve for first in 2006, can't even remember what for 2nd, 2007, was more concerned to just survive. Had mastectomies and total axillary clearance to avoid rads, but chemo not required, so I know a big diff there. Both were just before SNB procedure. 

 

However, I'm still here, and I don't let the thoughts of recurrence affect me any more or rule my life. It's a small pea at the back of my head, as opposed to the forefront, hence me replying. It's very easy to, but words from an oldie, try not too get bogged down by all the on-line reports etc. It'll drive you bonkers, when you really just need to get back to LIVING with the "what if nots", rather than the "what ifs"!! Also helps if you have a dilligent GP, who keeps your history upfront and who's all for getting ANY stuff checked out, even if you think it's something or nothing.

 

Hope thats of some help, despite my dissimilar diag. But good luck to you.

Big Delly hug and loadsa love xxxxxx

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Re: Scared of recurrence

Thanks for your lovely supportive message hun
In remission for 5 years so still have follow up appointments which to be fair it’s piece of mind,
Just seems like when I’m keeping positive I then get told someone who had the diagnosis it’s reaccured
Have to keep busy, so I don’t have time to sit and think what if !!!
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Thanks Mishy, it is good to know im not alone in these fears! Im ok most of the time but occasionally these negative thoughts creep in, but realise thinking positive is the way forward and to try and put this behind us and live our lives, my oncologist says there is no rhyme or reason as to why some bc comes back and others dont so to live your life and try and put your fears away! Lets hope we can move forward from this ordeal, hugs Deb x
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Re: Scared of recurrence

I'm 47 had 38mm tumor one node very swollen with cells 1 year out of treatment 19 months since diagnosis full treatment no hormone drugs as tn managing recurrence fear is a challenge at times mostly Im Good and don't think about it its really just a statistical thing me my onc is very hopeful about me and doesn't believe in giving recurrence stats as the can cause anxiety I'm sure lots of us will go on to live happily without bc taking over but it's normal sometimes especially when there is a follow up or a mammo due etc I find gp visits sometimes too!!! I've been told as time goes on this gets much better and easier to cope with!!!!
Mishy Newcastle!!!
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Thanks for getting back hun, certainly look at life different and don’t put things off,
Enjoy and appreciate every moment now, I never take for granted life now
Got 3 daughters and 3 little grandsons, with who I adore πŸ€—
No one really understands unless you’ve been through the diagnosis hence why I’m trying to find friends and get reassurance from different chats and hopefully meet ups for coffee πŸ€—xx
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Harps - Ang thanks for replying, it is such an awful shock as like you i was loving life, not feeling ill at all then got hit with this awful diagnosis, well i suppose we are past the worst now a year on from diagnosis and treatment so lets hope we both can start enjoying life again and hopefully in 10 years time we can look back on here and give hope to others who are in the same position as we are now, it would be lovely to keep in touch Ang and hopefully others may comment who have gone through it and are still alive and well years on, big hugs lovely, Deb from Staffs xx
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Re: Scared of recurrence

Hi so sorry to hear of your diagnosis,
I also was hit with breast cancer a year ago,
I’m 52 and just love life πŸ€—
Only went for my routine mammogram hadn’t felt any lumps got called back for further biopsy to be told I had 5 tumours in my left breast,
Had a year treatment, just finished such s tough year,
only now take tomixfen 1 tablet a day,
I’m just like you love life but do live in fear wondering whether I’ll get secondary,
Would be great to hear back from you
Ang from ipswich xx
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Scared of recurrence

Hi, im 12 months after my initial diagnosis for left breast cancer and all treatment, surgery, chemo and radiotherapy finished! Im on Letrozole as my cancer was her2- a 2.3cm tumor with 10 positive lymph nodes! Im having my ovaries removed to make sure im menopausal and also having bisphosphonates for prevention to the bones! Im still really scared of secondaries recurring as my diagnosis was so poor! Are there any other members on here who have had a similar diagnosis in the past and have gone on to survive without a recurrence! I think every ache and pain is a sign its come back even more so now ive finished treatment, probably just need a bit of reassurance that i will survive this and see my twins grow up im 49 with 13 year old twins and a fabulous husband! I know there are no guarantees but to have hope that people do live well with so many positive nodes without having a recurrence would give me a positive boost when dark thoughts take over!