Stress

[louiseh1104]

Hi Musicmoll,

Lovely to hear from you.  The BCN replied to my query about counselling yesterday and has now put my name on the waiting list.  She thought it was the right thing to do and I hope it will be helpful too.  I NEVER want to appear ungrateful.  I actually feel a bit better having taken this one step forward!  

Lots of love and take good care.

Louise 

[Musicmoll]

Hi Louise, sounds as if you are making some positive steps. So pleased that your partner feels the business can manage over the winter, as this should help to reduce your stress levels. Take great care x

[louiseh1104]

Hi Seabreeze,

Thank you so much for your lovely reply.

I think things are so structured and all-consuming during active treatment that when it ends, a person can feel lost and rudderless, and then as you say, it is only when we have a chance to step back that we get a chance to even try to process what has just happened.  And then there are any side effects of any medication we might be on. (Not to sound ungrateful though.)  I have read mindfulness books and have now moved on to self-care books and quotes, which I am finding helpful.  I listen to relaxing music when I get a chance (my current favourite is Eunaudi) and as I type this, I am listening to an 8 hour nature sounds compilation on YouTube!  My partner seems a bit more optimistic that his business can tick over during the winter, and has thought of some ideas to help with this.  I phoned the BCN's this morning about counselling and await their response. 

All these things can be helpful in achieving the "new normal", so I am very grateful for the suggestions made.

Take good care and sending you big hugs.

Louise X

Thank you again for replying

[Seabreeze]

Hi Louise,

I think often we are so focused on getting through active treatment, then back to work and new normal, that often it can take a long time until what we fully realise the magnitude of what happened and what we have been through! And that's not to mention Tamoxifen or any of the other bc med's that many of us take on an ongoing basis which shouldn't be overlooked. Setting this in context Tamoxifen is actually listed as chemo-prevention on the NICE guidelines, so a bit more than many of us sometimes may think!

It sounds like your reaction is perfectly natural with your father being unwell and partner's business stresses. I can only suggest making some time for yourself to hurl yourself into whatever you find distracting/relaxing (for me it's gardening even if I feel totally arghhh!), mindfulness, chatting to a friend who you can share humour with even when things are tough....

It does get easier as time passes beyond active treatment...don't beat yourself up, you've been through a lot and life is continuing to sling stressful events in your direction. Is your partner getting any independent advice on the business issues?

Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Counselling may be worth a try. It sounds like your partner may also want to consider it if s/he's under a lot of stress.

Sending hugs

Seabreeze xxx 

[louiseh1104]

Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words, Musicmoll. 

I will think really hard about counselling and know that only I can take steps to change my mindset, together with the fantastic support to be found on this Forum.  

Take good care, and sending you big hugs.

Louise 

[Musicmoll]

Hi Louise, you have so much going on in your life at the moment, and so much to cope with. It is still early days since your BC last year and sometimes it takes time for the reaction to come out. We all deal with stress differently, and it sounds as if you have tried some things to help yourself. Counselling may well be the next stage for you to help your through everything. I wish you the best, and know that things will get better. Take great care and try not to beat yourself up.

[louiseh1104]

Hi All,

I have been going through a rough time with elderly father's medical issues/ever increasing reliance on me , partner on verge of losing business and also trying to bring up a beloved 6 year old son.  I get really stressed sometimes, and I know it sounds stupid, but I was wondering if other people felt guilty, like me, about losing their cool, despite having tried mindfulness and self-care techniques.  I had BC last year and finished active treatment at the end of July, but now feel so upset and ungrateful every time I allow myself to get stressed, which I seem too stupid to avoid doing.  I can't seem to take a step back.  I was wondering if counselling would help.

Sorry for the "venting".

Thank you.

Louise