Hope things settle down for you soon and you don't have to go for more checks. Sending you, Cumbrian Lady/Poppy and anyone else on here, an instant "sunshine" flower, with love and all good wishes. Delly x❤️x
I actually got my referral for counselling today (through Macmillan/Bupa, in case anyone is interested/needs something similar) and should start my sessions sometime next week. I'm really pleased that I finally took that step and am getting help so quickly.
I tried mindfulness while I was in treatment and didn't really take to it, but if the counsellor suggests it and guides me through it, I'm happy to give it another go. But you're right - it's important to make time for the things that matter and bring us joy. So today, I spent 30 minutes playing the piano, something I haven't done in months. I was a bit out of practice of course, a bit slow, but I enjoyed that time, just me and my piano. Must do this more often.
I've still got that pain lurking in my left breast and may end up going in to King's for a check up after all. I've been hoping to avoid that. I'll give it a few more days. If it was some sort of infection brought on by my cold, then it may just need time to go completely. Have any of you ever experienced anything like this?
But, the main thing is I'm in a better place now mentally, thanks in no small part to all your kind comments. Thanks again.
Anxiety is absolutely normal cancer is not an easy diagnosis to come to terms with - no matter how long ago you were diagnosed.
My cancer was only diagnosed last June - all my treatment is over (for now) but yes, I still reflect back and think of that time.
I also suffer from MH problems and there are times (lots of them) when I go through meltdowns I have reached the stage when I recognise them coming on (there was a time I would try and fight them) but that made me even more stressed/upset I decided not to fight them so I found my own ways of getting through those times (for my own safety more than anything else) for me it all about totally switching off. I write poetry, I craft, watch crappy TV, go to bed, go on the internet looking at all the things I like which give me pleasure, play music, go a walk basically anything that absorbs my negative thoughts. I was taught a technique when I went for counselling it's called mindfulness. You play a CD can be birds singing, a gentle waterfall (tapes like these can be found on Amazon or search the internet. Once the tape is playing sit in a comfortable chair. feet on the floor, close your eyes breathe slowly and deeply and totally emerge yourself in the sounds imagine yourself in that place it takes a little practise but honestly it works wonders, it's like a gentle form of meditation.
Hope some of my ramblings are of help.
Lots of HUGE hugs
Poppy the cats and a bag of wine gums xx
Hi girls, I so Hope you are all doing okay.
I'm out delivering flowers today, to all the threads I subscribe to on this lovely Forum. To give us some cheer. Courtesy of "Delly-veroo".
Perhaps you could forward them to all of your threads too, and we can cover the Forum in flowers. How lovely that would be.
Lots of love to you all, Dellywelly x❤️x
Glad things have settled down and really good that you have some counselling on offer now . It’s very hard to put the scary thoughts to one side but we have to in order to stop the fear spoiling our lives !!!! Still waiting on mammogram results 😬
Thank you, all of of you, for all your incredibly supportive messages. They really mean a lot to me.
So, I contacted my BCN and it seems that the awful cold I had (the one that's not Covid and that everyone seems to have 🙄) triggered some sort of reaction in my left breast, ie. pain and briefly a red rash! The rash disappeared as quickly as it came, the pain is taking a little longer. However, I decided that it's finally time to get some help/counselling - I really like the image of a box for all those unpleasant thoughts (thanks Jill 😍) - I need to find better ways of dealing with the anxiety and keeping a lid on that box. My hospital no longer does 1-1 counselling, but Macmillan have referred me to their scheme with Bupa (up to 6 sessions 1-1) and it's great to know I'm going to get help.
Sandpiper: yes, nights aren't great, particularly when menopausal symptoms kick in as well, bl...y night sweats! 😫
Delly: thanks for your reminder about that article. I read it a couple of years ago, but it's time to reread it I think. And you're right, I need to reframe how I think about the future!
Jill: hope your mammogram has come back all clear!
Thanks again for your kindness and support.
I'm 13 and 14 yrs post masts +full ANC's 06 and 07. I need to stress, the 2nd wasn't from a spread from the 1st, but another unrelated primary of a different type. Just bad luck.
Yeh, takes a loong time for the mental after effects to reduce, Gaby. Me - up to my 5 yrs annual, all clear and being signed off. I stopped worrying about it, and now tend to have an "If it happens, it happens" attitude. BUT, I am always vigilant (though not Paranoid) with anything new that crops up, bodily wise. Will get it checked out straight away, and my GP is also vigilant and very understanding in that respect.
Rather than "What if it does/is...." and it prevent you from doing things, try and think more the other way, "What if it does NOT/ IS'NT". Don't allow it to stop you living your life.
Yes, It does leaves a permanent "seed" of doubt, but it gets smaller and smaller, and, as Jill says, pushed further and further to the back of you mind, rather than at the forefront of it.
You will get there.
Have you had a scan through other threads on this "Coping With Fear..." and the "Moving Forwards" sections. There's a huge amount of helpful advice and info.
If you haven't already seen and read it, I keep promoting this fantastic link, that Jaybro on here mentioned a few years ago (and still does), that a nurse recommended her to read. We said, only this morning on a different thread, that it should really be given out to everyone going through BC or any cancer.
It's brilliant, take the time to have a read.
Lots of love to you, and everyone else, Delly xXXx
Hi Gaby , I’m 6 years post diagnosis .I would say the fear never totally goes away - every time I’m due a mammogram it comes back -the dread of going through it again , every time something doesn’t seem quite right my mind goes there again BUT it happens less and less as time goes by and it is packed away neatly in a little box in the back of my mind most of the time so it doesn’t spoil my life .You will get to that place in time .
If you are really struggling to move on some breast care teams have psychologists linked to them you can be referred to or they can refer you to other agencies who offer counselling maybe worth considering ?
Currently waiting for this years mammogram results - on edge as usual and dreading the envelope coming through the letterbox 😳
I don't know what the answer is either. I'm around the same time post diagnosis as you are. I'm more a quiet worrier, I don't have meltdowns, but night time is my worry time, although it's not out of control. Other times, like you, I don't think too much about recurrences. I remind myself that most breast cancers don't come back and try not to let my fears run away with me. I'd like someone to tell me the cancer is never coming back, as well.
Hope someone else can help you more than I can - but thinking of you as it sounds very distressing.
Every few months I have a meltdown: 2.5 years after finishing treatment for TNBC I still have pain in my left breast that comes and goes, and sometimes it's pretty unpleasant - and when that happens, I panic, start checking frantically for changes, and eventually contact my BCN (doing that on Monday!). It's an exhausting cycle and I despair of it never ending. I just want someone to tell me that the cancer is never coming back - of course that's not going to happen - and it makes me so sad to know that this fear will always be part of my life. Sometimes I go for weeks without worrying too much and over time, hopefully those periods will get longer, but when I can't resist that downward spiral, it's not good.
Anyone else out there who goes through something similar? Any solutions/advice?
Thanks, as always, to all of you amazing people.