Hey Aurore, don’t be angry with yourself; your feelings are completely normal. ❤️ None of us are very good at coping with the unknowns whilst waiting for scans, results and treatment plans. I had terrible anxiety after diagnosis. I buried my head in lots of books to keep my speeding brain busy but sometimes my head was too messed up to read! A nice relaxing bath can help. X
Thank you @jaybro for taking the time!
i am struggling a lot and worried that I will get stuck in this place and give up. I barely sleep and eat so can know feel any little pain in my body and it turns into a spiral down the darkness. I can just about keep myself together at work with anxiety creeping up to the point of a full on anxiety attack at home. I understand this is a normal stage but all feel so out of control ....i am angry with myself for being like this !
Me again! Sounds like you need a big comforting hug, Aurore! Yes, all normal from my experience. With the more aggressive forms of bc, these tests are to check in case there has been any spread as that will affect the types of treatment you will be offered. The CT scan is the first port of call, checking on your organs, lymph nodes etc. Mine revealed some enlarged lymph nodes in my chest but chemo sorted them out). Then the bone scan confirms your bones are clear. I didn't have my bone scan till I’d already started chemo, probably because I had a slow transfer from private sector to NHS treatment and missed out. So it must be routine. I had my MRI after all my treatments, looking for nerve damage (no evidence) but I’m assuming it would have picked up any spread of bad cells - if anything could have survived chemo!
This is a very frightening time. There are waits between tests, waits for results, waits and more waits. It’s frustrating and scary (we cancelled Christmas last year - I was just so angry at everyone and everything). You might benefit from using every strategy you have to practise mindfulness, meditation or anything that takes you away from this horrible reality. It will be very useful now as well as later on. I was plugged into a Youtube hypnosis video through my MRI, though I hardly heard a thing lol.
If it’s any reassurance, remember I had 19 out of 21 nodes testing positive but each test was clear. I am NED (no evidence of disease) and was declared so straight after my surgery. With luck, I shall remain that way now. What you might find helpful is to speak to one of the nurses on the number above. They are so reassuring and knowledgeable. Even if you just sob down the phone, it may be helpful. If you can’t sleep, try Progressive Hypnosis Manifest Healing on YouTube - the title sounds rubbish but it saw me through the lot. Try to rest?
Grade 3 BC confirmed today; waiting for receptors results but consultant sent me for a CT scan, MRI and bone scan.
is it normal?
Accepted the diagnostic today but now feeling very scared.