I remember that feeling so well, I was knocked sideways by my diagnosis, mine was high grade DCIS, and every appointment I went to the news seemed to get worse and worse. I had two operations to remove the cancer and another two on the other side to create a match, plus radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
But I can see now that I was very lucky that it was DCIS, I'm two years past treatment and it is in the past, I have about a 95% chance that this will not come back. The cosmetic results have turned out okay, I prefer my new smaller shape.
This stage seems overwhelming when you're first diagnosed, it feels like the world has collapsed around you. But you will get treated, and hopefully you will come out the other side and get your life back on track, this experience changes the way you look at life. But there is a future after treatment, and life will be good again.
Sending you a hug
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Im guessing you mean High Grade DCIS?
I know it's really hard when you get a diagnosis and the word cancer scares the living daylights out of you but DCIS really is one of the better ones to get, it's in situ so hasn't been able to go off on a wander else where like an invasive cancer can. You will feel so much better once you know exactly what your treatment plan is.
The early hours alone with your thoughts really is the worst time but it gets better 😊XxJo
Thursday I'll know more and start getting ready to fight the battle that so many of you have already faced. I'm getting anxious about it, but I know I need it to get me healthy again and to continue to enjoy my wonderful life with my fantastic husband. I know you ladies will help me so much.
I'll let you all know how I get on.
Thanks Janie - I can't wait for that day to come, it seems so far away at the moment. I'm getting slightly daunted by what the chemo is going to involve and how I'm going to feel but I'm going to fight this battle and win.
You lovely ladies are so encouraging and so kind, it's absolutely wonderful.
We had a great weekend, thank you, and it took my mind off BC. I'm in work today and "normal" life feels good. I'm sure that will all change once I've seen the oncologist on Thursday afternoon but for now, I'm enjoying what I can. Pelvis scan due on Saturday but hopefully that'll just show it's fibroids - something else to deal with!
I find I'm dealing with it in an almost surreal way at the moment. It was such a relief to hear that it could be treated, that it hadn't spread. No doubt come Thursday afternoon I'll be getting all wound up again but at least I'll have a good idea of what I'm about to face.
Hope you're well?
Thanks for your message. Just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. I hope it all goes as well as it can and I hope you and hubby continue feeling that "strange calmness".
All the very best to you Fiona
Thank you Janie, trying to stay calm but the negative thoughts are coming back now. I just want to know so that I can deal with this. Xxx
Yesterday just got a bit too much for me. I think because I'd had my family around me over the weekend and the first part of the week while I had the scans (and of course my husband), but yesterday I decided to face everybody at work so I was nervous about that (although the blokes just ignored it/me), and all my family had gone home. When you're on your own, that's when all the thoughts start crowding in. But after speaking to you all yesterday, a strange calmness took over me in the evening, and my husband felt the same. Today I woke up without that enormous ball of fear in the pit of my stomach. I've been working from home (fortunately, my husband is also my boss) and that's taken my mind off it too. I'm still dreading tomorrow but at least we'll know exactly what we're dealing with.
And we're away for the weekend, celebrating my dad and stepmum's 40th wedding anniversary so something to look forward to in the middle of all this anxiety.
I'm getting ready to fight this evil, once we know exactly what we're fighting.
Thank you for your support yesterday - it was greatly appreciated and much needed and, despite the horrible fact that we're all on this forum because of this disease, it's so good to know that there are plenty of people who really do understand what we're all going through.
II am sending you a mega virtual hug and I hope you can feel it. It is so hard not knowing the ins and outs of what you are specifically dealing with. I know it is hard but there is little you can do until Friday so be kind to yourself and do something you (and your hubby) enjoy whether it is going out somewhere, eating good food, whatever - just something nice if you can.
What is it that is making you feel that you have "little hope"? There's plenty of hope for any situation that may occur. I do know what you mean about "expecting the worst" because in a way, that is how I managed things to a degree; it was my way of coping and then I would ask myself "what is the worst that can happen and how will I deal with it?". And goodness me, I had some good cries but in the end that is one way of releasing stress and anxiety build up.
I know the above may do little to help you specifically at the moment, but do ring the helpline or other support if it would help you to talk about it directly. Strangers on the phone were my support of choice - I could cry, say my worse fears etc without worry of upsetting them or being guarded which would have been the case if I had been talking to someone close.
And yes, you can "fight" it because there are many treatments in the arsenal so to speak that will be available for you as well as the inner resolve that you will no doubt start to feel when you have digested the shock and have more information which should give you back some control. And that the point in a way, you have just received very distressing news and you need time to process it and come to terms with it. It is not easy to do that ..............but I am sure you will get there.
All the best to you,
I was diagnosed on 1st June this year, and completely empathise with how you are feeling. I felt completely overwhelmed to begin with. However, I promise you, it does become easier to cope in time. The waiting is the worst part, as you say, as your mind imagines worst case scenarios. When you have a definite treatment plan it becomes easier to bear. You may not believe this now, but once you have a plan, all the women that I have met with breast cancer go into coping mode and seem to get an inner strength.
My practical advice would be only to go on to reputable websites such as this one. Don't look at statistics because when you are overwhelmed you will think of the negative outcome, when, for the vast majority of women, this is a ' blip' in our lives.
I can recommend a fantastic book- ' Tea and Chemo' by Jackie Buxton. It is packed with advice and postive words, and left me feeling very uplifted. It is actually often included in ' chemo gift sets' as it is just so positive.
Don't run ahead of yourself- in the book, Jackie's father in law says ' A to B, B to C, C to D' and that really helped me. One stage at a time.
I have just one of six chemos left , two weeks today, then surgery. I feel that I can see light at the end of the tunnel and each day is a step closer to recovery. I feel so much more positive and less anxious than I did at the start, and you will too.
Whenever you feel anxious, come on to the forum. The supportive women on here will carry you through this.
Thinking of you.
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. However, welcome to the Forum where I am sure you will receive lots of support and any information you need. As well as the Forum, the BCC site is full of useful booklets and information that you can download, as well as the free phone helpline to talk about anything or for emotional support. You can also link with a volunteer through the "Someone like me" scheme is you would find that helpful.
I was also diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive ductal (Stage 2, ER+, HER2+) 2 years ago. How quickly the time seems to have gone when I reflect on it now.
"The waiting is the worst part" - yes you are absolutely spot on. Waiting for tests, scans, biopsy, results, treatment blah blah but it is unfortunately all needed to help specifically diagnose the grade, stage and sensitivities of our intruder(s) and work out the best eviction plan.
That is brilliant that you are seeing the Consultant so soon so all the best for Friday. I hope they have all the information available so that they can give you a clear treatment plan. However, try not to worry if they do not and they need to run further tests or wait for some results. It is quite normal even if mega frustrating and overwhelming.
Best wishes to you and your husband,