I completely get what you are saying and like @robingoch said, it was sooo fast that I too almost didn't have time to stop and think.
I felt that i was the pebble that was dropped in the water, then had to manage the ripple effect on those around me. Often i ended up comforting those who were told my news as opposed to the other way around.
9 months on and i am starting to hit the anniversary dates. I still don't think i have fully processed it and am almost waiting for the kablam! moment when i expect i will be a puddling mess of tears....... those closest to me can see when i start to retreat into my own head and are concerned when this happens, and i think you end up shielding your emotions to protect those around you.
Recently I had a wobble and it took me two weeks to admit to those around me that I was having a pain in my affected side. I honestly think i didn't tell them sooner as i didn't want to worry them more than I had to. Ended up back at the clinic and was checked out and all good, but having to again comfort my partner and parents afterwards made me realise that none of this is about just me, so you do put on the "i'm fine" face more than you would like to.
The words of wisdom i keep hearing are be kind to yourself and give yourself time. We all will handle it in our own way and when the time is right. Don't try to compare yourself to others as our situations are all so individual and unique, as were our diagnosis and treatments, just be with how you feel at the moment and don't try to over analyse what you should be feeling, but go with how you feel now.
Much love Vix ❤️
When i got diagnosed with sbc last june i was veey much like how you explained, it was like watching from above looking down. All my family and friends were in tears and I was fine however then one night i was reading about sbc ans when I saw that om only treatable not curable i walked from my bedroom yo living room told my dad what i just read and broke down in tears and he just hels me xxx
Yes I felt I coped well going through the treatments but about a month after completing radiotherapy it all got too much for me. It is taking me a little to process all that has happened but I am slowly getting my head round it all and hopefully moving forward positively.
Hi, I have lots of support, but it just hasn't sunk in. I'm glad it's not just me. I'm grateful for everything and everyone around me. I finished treatment on 10th march then lockdown happened, put the scuppers on everything.
I'm like you I have coped well, maybe I felt it should have been different who knows lol, we will get there in our own way I guess x
I’m not sure whether I can help, but I just wanted to let you know that I can identify with the way you are feeling so much.
I’m also in the fortunate position to have been told that the cancer has gone (following mastectomy). Waiting on radiotherapy and hormone treatment. But still don’t feel like cancer is happening to me.
I too say “I’m fine”. But i have been fine to be honest (ups and downs but mostly ok). If I am honest, I feel like a bit of a fraud. So many people have such a long hard journey and I have got off so lightly (which I am so grateful for). It’s all happened so quickly for me (diagnosis mid June, mastectomy beg July) and I think this is why it’s maybe not hit me yet.
Like you, I am worried about it all hitting me at some point - but, I’m trying not to worry about how I am going to feel and concentrate how I am now.
Do you have lots of support around you? I have told those closest to me how I am feeling and have asked them to keep an eye on me incase I’m not always feeling ok.
Thank you for posting and helping me to see that I’m not the only one feeling this way - I hope I’ve helped you see the same x
I don't feel like it was me that has cancer. The only way to describe it is an outer body experience.
I feel detached, I'm fine, was always my response, but am I.
Is this normal, does anyone else feel this way.
I haven't dealt with this, I'm sure it will manifest in a meltdown somewhere along the line.
I am clear of of this evil disease thank god.