Hello ladies,
I’m guessing I’ve came on this for a vent, I do have family and friends but always feel like no one really truly understands. So I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2017 (age 31) stage 1 so I had a double mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction, followed with zoladex and letrazole and then onto Tamoxifen. I live my with husband and daughter who was 7 at the time of my initial diagnosis so I made it my goal to stay positive and keep things as normal as possible. The side effects of Tamoxifen I found to be unbearable (constant pmt symptoms) and it was affecting my relationships and work etc. I spoke to my consultant and said after 3 years I didn’t want to be on it anymore and was told as no lymph node involvement and caught early then it was my choice etc but I’ve had the most benefit and the stastistics showed only helped by 2% , anyway fast forward to October 2022 and found another lump in same place but due to me have a double mastectomy they thought it was more likely fat necrosis , it turned out to be a recurrence. It was same type of cancer and contained in one area, they reckon it was a cell left over from original diagnosis. So 2 lumpectomys (had to have a re excision) and week of radio therapy I have now completed active treatment so now it’s all over and appts are done. I’ve been put on 20mg Tamoxifen for ten years now so I’ve been on it a couple months now and I feel utterly miserable, depressed and not myself at all, the thought of being on it for ten years is unimaginable, it’s hard to explain to anyone as they just say well the side effects are just something you need to deal with to stop it coming back. It’s not as easy as that. I’ve even started going to fitness classes and hoping to get back to work soon, the exercise helps at the time but then the feeling of depression quickly returns, it’s almost like I could burst out crying at the slightest thing. I feel like I don’t want to see people and find myself getting bitter. I’m only 37 with a young daughter and I don’t want to feel like this. Anyway sorry for the long post , I’m just typing how I feel. Thanks for reading x