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Cant seem to move on

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TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Anniej I keep rereading your post  what amazing spirit and attitude you have. I'm so glad you have many treatment options and your oncologist sounds excellent. I have a primary diagnosis but who knows ?  May I ask are you an Er lady . Thank you x

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Delly

 

I am never very good on Anti depressants as always have SE. I am enjoying the yoga which I never thought I would. I've always been a sporty person so thought it was too "slow" for me but it does help with the mind and the ladies there are lovely too. My Moving Forward Course starts the beginning of May but I haven't heard about the Counselling sessions. I have had an appointment to see my Oncologist though which is the end of June-just before we go away.

 

I'm just relieved to know that I'm not the only one who has a fear of it returning but that does fade away too from what I can gather. I think what makes it worse for me I lost my Mum to the big " C" albeit not BC but Pancreatic but I do realise that is a totally different ball game.

 

Hope everyone is well.

 

Juliewulie xxx

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Delly lovely to hear from you .I'm actually doing very very well for me. My antidepressants were Mirtazapine and were only 15 mg so low dose I just didn't feel they made much difference. The only thing now is I find it hard to sleep  I have a bit of a different mindset now  maybe I've toughened up !  I just tell myself I'm ok today and will be next week so that's all I ask. I suppose time is a healer. I still have my fear but not constant as it was. I get scared when I read newspaper articles on a, Bc death but tell myself it's not me or my story. I'm definitely happier than ever since this began .How are you doing   keep in touch xx

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi ladies, sympathies to everyone feeling low. It's to be expected as our bodies and emotions have taken a battering. I was diagnosed last year with stage 2, grade 3 BC . I had chemo and then rads . Unfortunately a second CT scan showed mets in both lungs. I fell in a heap. I had 5 more rads left when I was told. Being a regular visitor at the local ?Maggie's centre in Newcastle I got myself over there and had a long session with the secondary BC lead . Apparently, with all the tricks in their medical bags I am far more likely to pop off from old age than BC!! 🤗. Through Maggies I accessed a one hour counselling session with a psychologist, followed by a two session sleep workshop and an eight week mindfulness course. All have been of  value to me, and from being a sceptic I now use meditation during those long nights. The truest piece of advice for coping is to live in the minute. Not even the day....what is happening NOW. No one can guess the future. I also believe in the therapeutic value of exercise, even if it's a little walk. Anything to help the mind find good things to think about. Some days are better than others , but any day I can pick daisies and not push them up from underground is a good day in my book! Onwards and upwards, ladies. X. X

delly
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi to everyone

 

Juliewulie - another Heart to your name, as from the "Progesterone, other hormones and Fluffy cakes" thread (that's covered in handbag fluff from me hiding it early on in the thread origins, not fluffy as in "light"!). Made me read up further on you. How's the yoga going? and have you felt any benefits from the antidepressants yet? Hope the "Moving Forward" course helps. Your Onco sounds very conscientious, not just about treating the cancer, but how it's affected you personally, which is so great to hear.

 

TypicalMe - Hello dear friend. Haven't seen you for a while. How are you? May I ask your reasons for coming off the antidepressants, and which ones you were taking? Yeh, I'm a Winter person too. Was born in Jan. Always loved the "crispiness" of the cold months. Tho' used to love Spring/Summer too, sunbathing etc., before hot flushes (meno/hormonal, not Tamox or other) make the hotter months unbearable now, which is sad. And Yeh, I have too much thinking time, so know what you mean. But my probs aren't so much around BC now (were partly initiated by, both my experiences of) and I stopped worrying about it coming back quite a few years ago now. Another "but" tho' - I don't have kids or other dependents left, but, I can sooo sympathise with those of you that do. Must put a whole different perspective on things for you. 

 

Know it's difficult, but why DO we worry about it coming back. We can't stop it happening if it does, so why do we??! and dont just think it won't and so get back to getting on with it. But we do!! Because it shocks, smashes, and therefore attacks and weakens our thoughts of mortality. 

 

Lotsa love to everyone

Delly xxxxxx   

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

I'm just trying to get all the help I can but it's a complicated long haul.

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

No I don't work due to my children though older now having lots of school anxiety so been at home with me a while now. I think though I keep busy not working gives me too much thinking time. Sounds like you're doing well x
Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

I saw my Oncologist yesterday and she has prescribed an anti depressant for me. She also suggested the Moving Forward Course but I'm booked on that anyway. She's also referring me for Counselling at our local Cancer hospital. I too hope the lighter nights will help but looking out of the window now it's pouring with rain and dark!

Do you work? I think with me I have so much going on that it's hard to move on as I seem to be battling so many things at once.

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Bit up and down. I was taking a low dose antidepressant and have come off it so suppose maybe that's why I'm down. Hoping the lighter nights may cheer me a bit though I'm more a Winter person. How are you ?
Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi TypicalMe

 

Just wondered how you are? I am starting Yoga this morning-never done it before!! Everyone seems to recommend it- I'll try anything.

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Kate21

 

Mindfulness and meditation is alien to me too as I am 100 mile an hour all the time but everyone raves about it these days. I've bought some self help books and downloaded some apps but are there any in particular you could recommend or any advice?

I have enrolled on the Moving Forward course so will try that first and take it from there but thanks so much for the information.

 

Take Care

Kate21
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Juliewulie, I’m really glad you’re considering it! I don’t have a problem going to places on my own but one of my dearest friends, who’s been very supportive, wanted to come with me the first time I went, to the Living Well course and she loved it too! Said it made her understand my situation more, they really don’t mind if you take someone or go alone, whatever suits you. I agree, think it makes them (whoever you take) realise more what you’re going through. After my diagnosis I was fine making changes to my diet, making sure I exercised more and went to bed at a reasonable time, naturally being a real night owl! The practical stuff came easily, but things like mindfulness and meditation were alien to me but they introduced it in such an easy to understand way. Please let me know if you do decide to go, if I lived closer I would go to classes etc, as I find it very relaxing there. Take care, Kxx 

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Juliewulie how are you today ?

 

Kate 21 thanks I shall have a look on the site really nice of you to post x

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Kate21

 

Thanks for that information. I have just been on the website and can see how you can't praise it enough.

It is something I may consider in the future. 

Thanks again-watch this space!!!

 

Kate21
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi ladies, reading your posts I just wondered if any of you have been to the Penny Brohn centre in Bristol? It really is fantastic, I can’t praise it enough. If you’re unaware of it, it’s a charity and they offer residential courses lasting a couple of days, where they cover all sorts of things, probably best to look at their website if you’re interested rather than me rabbit on here! There are also day courses and sessions on things like yoga, cookery classes, and relaxation if you live close enough, and they now even run outreach sessions in some areas. On the ‘Living Well’ residential course you can take someone with you, partner, family member or friend, this is kind of their introductory course. Then they have the ‘Approach’ course, on this one you get to see a doctor and nutritionist, they are both lovely and will give advice but nothing is forced onto you. I’ve been there several times now and have really enjoyed it every time, it’s a very calm place yet full of life, if that makes sense? It is all free, they just mention making a donation if you’re in a position to do so but it’s not something they keep mentioning. Certainly worth a look at the website and personally I would say try and go if you haven’t been already, from reading posts a few ladies on here have been. Kxx

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi TypicalMe

I had a lumpectomy Grade 2 and also aggressive. I've always been a worrier but feel that other things going on in my life too are hindering my recovery.

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi Juliewulie I think you've hit on something there. I am a worrier and my older daughter did once say personality must play a part in how people react. I've always thought I was quite strong but emotionally this has been so hard. Can I ask what your diagnosis was x

Juliewulie
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi TypicalMe

 

If it's any consulation I feel the same as you. I was diagnosed last November and operated on within weeks.I was doing so well- too well infact. I  like you seem fine and coping well to everyone else but really inside I'm not. I  think I was ok up to and  during my treatment as didn't have time to think-so much going on with appoinments etc. It's only now I've finished I seem to have hit a brick wall. I too am petrified of it returning but according to advice on here it does get easier. If you're a worrier like me I think it will take longer to accept. I  downloaded the BECCA app from day one and Headspace yesterday. It's early days but I'm unsure if it's for me- I hope to be proved wrong as it has such a good write up. I have also enrolled on a Moving Forward Course but unfortunately it's not in my area for a while yet. 

By all means we can converse on here and let's hope we can help each other one way or another.

Take Care.

TypicalMe
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Thank you for your answer. I have and still do ring the helpline.  The ladies on there are excellent. I've also used the Someone Like Me Service but wondered if there was any one here to chat to feeling similar xx

HannahH_BCC
Member

Re: Cant seem to move on

Hi, I have read your post and feel you would get help and support from some of the services we do at Breast Cancer Care, if you would like to phone us on 0345 077 1893 and we can speak to you about the services we do.  We also have an helpline number which is 0808 800 6000 if you would like to speak to someone regarding your concerns.  Please do not heistate at all to contact us.

TypicalMe
Member

Cant seem to move on

Hi everyone I post here occasionally but usually a regular on another forum but wondered if anyone here could help .I was diagnosed in November 2016 with a Grade three in 2 nodes. It was an aggressive tumour no family history and a,massive shock at 48 as someone who never even gets a cold .I have a lovely family but my youngest children though 18 and 15 need me so much .My whole world fell apart. I had clear scans but worry constantly about recurrence .I've had mastectomy lymph clearance chemo radiotherapy and ovary removal but still so scared.

 

I've had some counselling and take a low dose antidepressant but although much better still find it hard. I grieve so much for my happy life and feel my worries now are so big.  I often wonder how long I may have for my children even though it's a primary diagnosis. I feel my old,life has gone and I'm so sad. I have to paint a smile on for my family but some days I just break down still. I still can't quite accept it. 

 

Anyone else felt this after so long and how have you dealt with it. Thank you for reading I know there is no magic answer xx