Facing it all again seems so difficult

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Living with breast cancer
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Hi everyone, 

Thanks in advance for reading this. 

Avout 15 yrs ago, when my children were very young, I was diagnosed with high grade DCIS. I had a lot of it so after several lumpectomies and no clear margins, I had a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I wanted a double mastectomy but they disagreed feeling that it was unnecessary based on my diagnosis. 

I also had the gene testing as my mum died of breast cancer when she was 45. She’d had no treatment as she didn’t tell anyone until it had spread. She sadly died just 3 months after we knew. 

After a routine mammogram, I was recalled and it now seems I have breast cancer again in my other breast. The good news it is grade 1 , very small and apparently easily treatable. 
In a way, I know I should feel very lucky to have caught it early . I have been put on medication to shrink it and I’m hoping to have a mastectomy on the other side now. 

However I am really struggling mentally . I’ve really slumped and just feel that it’s got me again . I really can’t face everything all again and the constant worry as to whether it has gone away or not. each day is a struggle and I’m being so morose about it all. 

Sorry to be so gloomy but I just feel so sad 

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Welcome to the forum , no need to apologise for being “ gloomy “ , we all understand how this really shakes you up and can cause great anxiety even if you have only done it once never mind twice ,There are a few ladies talking on a thread at the moment who been through breast cancer more than once maybe you could join the conversation ? I will post you the link .Best wishes Jill 

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I got it again after 19 years but in the same breast after having radiotherapy and segmental mastectomy which can’t have taken out all the cancer. I had to have a mastectomy this time but had a reconstruction at the same time.

it is very difficult to come to terms with. I feel miserable a lot but keep myself busy. I also applied for and got attendance allowance as I am now 67 so I could join a gym with a big swimming pool. I decided this would be good for my peace of mind. Which it is when I can get up the energy to go there!

Seagulls