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Feeling confused and down.

4 REPLIES 4
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Member

Re: Feeling confused and down.

 

Hi, very sorry to hear your story.  I have similar situation with my hubby in fact I was about to leave him before I was diagnosed with the recurrence.  It is so stressful.  You need to have counceling to help you and your husband.  He needs to learn to make a happy atmosphere by moaning less.  On the other hand, you need to learn to ignore him when he is annoying. Go for a short walk or out of the house.  Have a small projects or something like that. Good luck.  

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Community Champion

Re: Feeling confused and down.

Yes ,that's sounds like a good idea and if you can get your husband to go with you so much the better. Yes my treatment has finished but still dealing with the after effects mentally and physically.x
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Member

Re: Feeling confused and down.

Cheers Jill! I was seeing a counsellor earlier on the year, relating to my diagnosis, i didn't really mention the issues with my husband, I felt at the time getting my own head round the cancer was the up first. I've been fairly open and relaxed with him talking about my insecurities and fears after having cancer, but our own relationship I seem to struggle with, i may contact her again soon, I would feel it would maybe help if he could come with me to see her, but it's a tall order, not sure if he would. Will see how things go in the coming weeks.Thankyou for your advice, hope you are okay, is your treatment all finished now?Xx

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Community Champion

Re: Feeling confused and down.

Hello Munchkin ,can totally understand your feelings .I have had cancer twice in the last 3 years ( breast then womb ) and it has certainly taken its toll my relationship - the stress and worry has had a big impact on both of us and there definately needs to be some adjustments made in your relationship Yes I also feel like yelling " I've had ****** cancer when he starts moaning about petty stuff ,but even though he has been through it with me I have come to accept that he can't understand ,only someone who has been faced with their own mortality can really understand .It takes some time to recalibrate your relationship after this and sometimes maybe it needs some outside help to help get you through it ,hope you sort things out 🤞🤞🤞.Jill.
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Member

Feeling confused and down.

Hi everyone, don't really know where to start really, I was diagnosed January 2017 with IDC! I've had 2 surgeries, lumpectomy then mastectomy, had 6rounds of chemo and now on tamoxifen. I've been married 32yrs! With two wonderful grown up children. My relationship with my husband is the issue at the moment, he's a lovely guy, but at times isn't the easiest to live with, he moans a lot about stuff, complaining about everything! Don't get me wrong, when I was diagnosed and going through chemo, he was marvellous!! Truly looked after me and never complained about anything, I've always been the type that likes to keep the peace, so I usually just keep my mouth shut when he's on one, recently though I've been getting really cross at him! I'll remind him, he should have nothing to moan about, I've just had bloody cancer!! I'm trying to get my life back together and move on, he should be grateful for his health. Basically the bottom line is, I'm speaking back now, as I know how precious life is and I really don't need all his silly complaints! My kids bless them, love him to bits, but even they know what a grump he is! My main worry though is he's gone part time now with work, so he'll be around more at home, I've not gone back to work since my cancer, the job was quite stressful, not sure yet what my future plans will be. I just don't want this resentment towards my husband get any worse.