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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ooooh looks lovely and peacefulSmiley Happy

Have you been in the hot tub yet??

Luxury indeed!!

Bit of a different view in Norcambe hahaha!!

Been quiet today, catching up on this and that, not too bad cause YD is still on her travels so house is pretty tidy haha.

Have discovered half my tv channels have disappeared, grrrrrrrrrrrrr, phoned this morning and guy says check with your neighbours, perhaps a dish problem, only thing is most people stream etc now so can I find anyone??? Think it would be easier to climb on the roof myself............

Spoilt myself tonight and went to chippie, no Sunday dinner this weekSmiley Sad xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We have a view! And I'm enjoying it from a picnic bench in the garden in my dressing gown. Nobody for miles - not even window cleaners!! 😄

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Wifi works out here too! 7th heaven! 🙂

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We have arrived. I THINK there's a stunning view but at the moment it's shrouded in cloud. We drove through the cloud on the way here: scary fog.

 

The hot tub is bubbling away outside, but I don't think I'll brave it tonight. No phone signal and wifi only works in 2 rooms because the cottage walls are so thick! Hopefully it will work outside (if the weather  improves!) because the router is on the windowsill.

 

Saw the pub you mentioned at Halfway House, Ali, but we didn't stop because we'd had a picnic earlier 🙂 Hope step mum's op goes to plan this time.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have a lovely holiday JCJ, woo hooSmiley Happy

Such a clever idea the decorators!!

Glad you are doing well with school FF, have you picked your holiday dates now? Look forward to cake!

Ali, 3rd time lucky indeed, your poor stepmum bet she wants it well and truly over and done with, the more delays the more jittery she will be.

 

Another grey, stuffy day here, am shortly going to pop into town then short break back home then up to hospital. Wasn't there yesterday as I needed a quiet day and actually fell asleep, tiredness catching up.

Had a call from the care team asking what I was thinking about Mum and her going home so just said she is not well enough and if she was discharged?? she would need 24 hour care at home............so pretty much up in the air, there is no way she could go home at the momentSmiley Sad xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I agree, FF, especially when that *routine* op involves either heart or brain! Always a worry for the patient!

 

All packed up - except for last minute things - and the washing machine is doing a quick wash so I don't have to leave smelly clothes in the laundry basket for the decorators to "enjoy"!! (Not implying the decorators are pervs!)

 

Managed to make myself go for a swim - didn't go the last 2 weeks and won't the next 3, (well might make the 3rd, but as I'll get back from MMU6 that afternoon, somehow K doubt iti!) so I'm glad I went.

 

Cottage is supposed to have WiFi, so I should still be able to pop in to Benchland to keep abreast (pun intended) of goings on. 🙂

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ppppeter the Ppppenguin  has survived several culls of outgrown toys/gadgets/clothes and occasionally hangs out with (knitted) Hump and Dink 🙂

Step mums op has been delayed for the second time due to staff shortages, it's rearranged for next Thursday. Fingers crossed its third time lucky.

Hot here again, although I've just sat outside for a couple of hours with a few candles and a very nice cognac so I'm not complaining! 😄

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

A routine op to a Dr. is a great big worry to the person having it . Hope your Stepmum is ok Ali. Nice to *see* you.

 

Baking, ironing, shopping.....you need that holiday JCJ. I also forgot you were having the decorators in, hope you are pleased with the results when you get home.

 

Nice weather down her at the moment, just right but forecast to get too flippin' hot again at the weekend and I can't hide indoors as it's youngest GD's birthday and I have to turn up at the party.  Cake will be in he shed on Saturday evening.

 

School going well, I've finished pre-school, if you felt like it you could eat your dinner off the floor.  Onto the next classroom tomorrow.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you aliSmiley Happy, hope all goes well for your stepmum.

An odd couple of days since the faint, she was a little confused when I was up at hospital, cousin went up next day and she was very confused, today she was back to normal Mum, think it will be up and down, nurses and docs are not worried so I hang onto that.

 

Forgot you were having decorating "done" JCJ, how fantastic to come home to freshly painted walls, hurrah!!

It's been a little chilly this evening and raining, yuck, take bad after looking at blue skies for ages, now it's grey, grey, grey again. Back to reality...............

Finished my chemo cream yesterday, woo hoo, vaseli** for a month or so now, fingers crossed that will be the end of thatSmiley Happy xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloo Ali! Lovely to "see" you. Thank you for the food recommendations. It seems incredible that your son has finished university "already"! I was just thinking about you both, the other day, because I finished knitting another penguin and was wondering what Ppppeter (Ppppercy??) was up to these days! 🙂

 

Been busy baking today: barabrith to take on holiday - I know, 'coals to Newcastle', but mine's nicer! - and flapjack to leave for the decorators - bribery??!

 

I've also done a massive load of ironing ready to repack tomorrow. Now I'm sitting with a mugatea before I tackle the supermarket shop.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Benchies *waves*. So sorry to read about Mum Katie, I hope they can sort the immediate problem of feeling faint and dizzy out really quickly because I imagine that's making her feel pretty groggy - never mind the BC and other nasties she has to face. 

JCJ our favourite restaurant in Mach is Number 21, have you eaten there? Not cheap unfortunately but very nice. We used to visit Mach and Aber often when son was at uni there, there's actually  a fab pub for meals on the drive from the Midlands to mid Wales, somwhere around Halfway House just before the Welsh border called The Windmill (it has a sign saying ' start stopping stop here ' or similar ). Sons recommendation for food in Aber is the butchers at the bottom of the High Strret for meat cobs, or Backyard BBQ . I think he ate solidly for his time at uni 🙂

Step Mum has heart surgery this week, a replacement valve. She's worrying about it although her surgeon says its routine.

A brief respite from the heat here, higher temperatures threatened again by Thursday. My hot flushes have resurfaced too but I'm blaming the weather and lack of swimming pool with cocktail bar , which is my usual coping with holiday abroad temperatures 🙂

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Home. YD set off on her 3 hour drive home. Camping stuff away - dry! Yeh! all except for the things I'll need to pack again on Friday. No rain until after everything was safely in the car. Phew!

 

Stopped in Montgomery - a lovely little town - on the way home for  a superb breakfast in a café. The rain lashed it down when we were on the motorway. Scary!

 

Sorry, girls, about dinner last night - meant to invite you to join us in the pub - I had beer battered haddock, chips and mushy peas and YD had a burger, chips, & coleslaw. Then she had Eton mess and I had chocolate and peanut butter torte and cranberry sorbet. Yum! More bad news, I'm afraid: won't be cooking for the next 2 Sundays either, because we'll be away in Machynlleth - probably having pub meals - I'll let you know! 🙂

 

Sad now that YD has gone home, especially as I suspect that might be our last ''just us" trip (and therefore probably my last ever camping trip! :() Hopefully not, but we'll see.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aah ha!!! The Empress and the rendevous what's going on??

Who is in the hut, FF-FI???

Honestly I can't leave you two alone for any length of time whatsoever.................

Glad weather wasn't too bad JCJ and you are having fun, FF-FI and I were searching the fields and hills for our dinner, no luck finding you but at least I wasn't driving this time.............

 

Still much the same with Mum, a faint yesterday and confusion today, tomorrow is another daySmiley Sad xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Weather much less inclement than threatened. Quite a lot of rain overnight and the odd light shower today - but none while we were out on a walk in the hills. It had actually been less windy, on the campsite, than yestetday! Cloudy with a warm wind on the top of the hills. Super views. Glad it wasn't blazing heat.

We had a lovely dinner in a pub - spoiled only by noisy children - now enjoying the peace and child-freeness of the campsite.

Got to pack up tomorrow 😞 and there's more rain forecast for the morning. Hope the forecast is wrong, again, or I'll be having to put up a wet tent in the garden at home!

Hope you're still managing to be calm, Katy and that Mum is still showing signs of recovery.

Hope you manage that beach hut rendezvous, FF (that sounds MUCH dodgier than I intended! :p)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I could quite happily become FI (Foxy Imperatrix) but maybe that's getting ideas above my station Smiley Wink

 

It's rained, first time for two weeks.  Not the torrential downpours or all day as they promised, But it has rained and it's surprising how much better I feel. On the downside next week it's forecast dry and getting warmer again.  I'm sorry but I don't like it......I don't DO hot and sunny weather!

Beach hut get together might be difficult to re-arrange as we're all back to work tomorrow, maybe an evening?

 

Hope you didn't get too wet or blown away JCJ.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Who's Fl? Stupid phone! I meant FF of course. 🙂
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Weather forecast dire for here tomorrow too, >=95% heavy rain and strong winds. Not brilliant in a tent!!

However, the forecast for today wasn't brilliant and we've only had a couple of very short showers, a bit breezy and quite a bit of sunshine - but not too hot. Had a cooked breakfast at the tent, a wander round Welshpool, tea and cake in a lovely quirky tearoom and a walk up the canal. Then we cooked a simple meal at the tent (made use of the microwave oven available on the campsite too - wonderful!) and then we've sat supping wine, enjoying the peace and looking at the stars. I love camping! Probably won't say that when it's blowing a hooli tomorrow ?!

Hope you get your family seaside get together when the weather is more favourable, FI.
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Your news about Mum is truly awful but at least all the different depts. are now working together and will do their best for her. No brain mets is good news.  You can and will be strong for Mum because you have to be but take care of yourself too so that you can take care of her.

 

Our family trip to the beach hut tomorrow is cancelled, the weather forecast is atrocious, rain and gales.  we're giving that a miss but the weather for the other four days of the rental is fine and dry so we'll try again.

 

Have a lovely time with YD, JCJ  hope you don't get in the way of the thunderstorms Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have wonderful hols you with your daughter JCJ and you with your family FF, sounds fantasticSmiley Happy

 

My head is all over the place, we had to wait for over 2 hours to see the consultant yesterday, Mum was exhausted and just couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. My cousin and I were taken into a private room and the whole story was explained, Mum has BC and lung cancer confirmed, they are not sure if they are 2 separate cancers yet, they will explore BC with a biopsy, lung will be left alone, when results come back and if they are not connected there will be no lung treatment, its in a very awkward place and would be extremely invasive.

There maybe dementia extremely early but they are thinking it is delirium, it also causes confusion and problems walking, Consultant was reassuring that he has seen many cases and people do get better, can take weeks or months. No brain mets. Next step is breast team. So all up in the air at the moment but each team is connecting as they now know it's not just the case of an elderly person falling and a clearer picture is emerging. The news is awful but I am being superly strong now, for my Mum, my heart is breaking but can hide it well xx

Thank you girls xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well done Katy, you managed the brave face for your mum. I'm glad you were able to have a chat with her. Awful news though. I'm so sorry. I hope they don't "mess her about" too much (as our family saying goes) with invasive treatment. More hugs <<<>>>

 

I know that "storage" space that every school has, FF; usually a spare classroom, and better known as a "dumping ground"!!

 

A beach hut! How lovely. It won't matter if it rains - that's why beach huts were invented! Enjoy the family time at the seaside. (Green with envy. What I wouldn't do for a swim in the sea in this hot weather - except drive a 300 mile round trip!! :()

 

Cirque Berserk was incredible last night. The acrobats and trapeze artists were amazing. They made it look so easy. I came home thinking I could swing upside down, by my ankles, from the curtains; or juggle an enormous cube with my feet whilst doing a shoulder stand! Err..... NO!!

 

OH really struggled with the heat. I stupidly parked in our usual free carpark across town from the railway station. (Neither of us like driving in cities, so we decided to take the train in and bus back) The walk usually takes about 15 minutes. We had 45 minutes yesterday and only just made it on time! OH wanted to just get a taxi straight home and send me on my own. I persuaded him to come but he didn't enjoy it: He complained it was "Too much" he moved out of his 4th row seat to sit at the back but still left before the end because it was "Too noisy". This is the man who listens to opera - or screeching women, as I call it - at full volume!! It was very loud, but I enjoyed it. Ah well, as YD said, you can't please everyone! He would probably have enjoued it more if he hadn't got so heat stressed. We got an expensive taxi ride back to our car instead of a bus. It was worth it!

 

I've got to accept we can't do stuff like we used to. I'm wondering whether to sell the Cirque du Soleil tickets for October. I don't think he'll fancy it and I'm not sure I can face a big arena on my own. 😞

 

Right. Must get the car packed. YD on her way! 🙂

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you took time to compose yourself, Katy before visiting after such horrible news.  Blubbering all over Mum won't help........ and then the news got worse.....I'm so sorry.... but glad you are feeling calmer and stronger.  I've put a stiff G&T (or brandy and coke or whisky and soda ,whatever your tipple is or maybe just have all of them) in the shed for you, tea may not be enough!  Wish I was nearer to help you but I'm here, pm, text, call, whatever, look after yourself and take all the help you can get from family. Many hugs!

 

No plans for teachers to be in and to be fair it's not so much the classooms as the annex, which seems to be used less and less as school room and more and more as a storage space.  Pre-school I'm just going to put all the stuff into a box and let them sort it out later. 

 

Daughter has booked a beach hut at local resort from Sunday to Thursday and invited all the family to come down on Sunday.  According to the weather forecast it will be p**sing down  but we don't care. It will be cool.  It is also Lifeboat week there so there will be lots going on and all in aid of the RNLI.

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you JCJ and I can do thisSmiley Happy

 

I did do it..............no blubbering, Mum was very tired and I knew she wanted to sleep so was only there for half an hour or so. We managed to chat fine which was great, it does get worse though, while I was there the doc came in and said the scan Mum had this morning showed she had BC and a lesion on the lung, am assuming as she is so very frail there will be no treatment, oncology haven't been to see her as results only were available this lunch time. Will speak to docs again tomorrow. It in fact may not be dementia but brain mets. Feeling calmer and stronger xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Katy, hugs - lots of them! Putting tissues and gallons of tea by the CSL bench. You were right to take time to come to terms with it yourself before going to visit. I'm glad there are other family members there to support you. xxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Community champion,
Sending you love and hugs at this incredibly challenging time. I know the awful feeling of being unable to control your emotions... for different reasons but also with breast cancer in the mix.
Do the best you can and Take care.
I can do this x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am trying to get off the "CSL" bench but am struggling...............

Looks like it's some type of dementia, she won't ever be home again.

My cousin was at hospital yesterday and came down to tell me thats what docs were thinking, was meant to leave to go to hos half an hour after cousin left, YD was picking me up in a taxi. I couldn't go.........

Knew that if I spoke to her I wouldn't be able to stop crying and that's no good for Mum.

Have to try and shake myself but just feel incredibly sadSmiley Sad and the tears won't stop.

Deep breaths xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Are your teachers planning on coming in tomorrow to tidy their classrooms, FF? I know some of my colleagues are in this week to clear up/move classrooms etc.

 

We went to an outdoor swimming pool today. Refreshing. There were rather a lot of people - including children!! - so it was very noisy and I couldn't really swim enough to count towards my Jersey swim, but it was nice to be cool! Afterwards we had a pub meal for which they charged us the £4.95 OAP rate! OAP?? Again?? I can console myself that OH *is* an OAP and I didn't go to the bar with him so they just assumed - however, she didn't look surprised when I then arrived to carry the drinks (Parkinson's shaky hands make that a tricky job!) Hmmm!

 

Won't be swimming tomorrow because we're off to Coventry to see Cirque Berserk - our birthday presents from YD. I don't think OH wants to go, though, so I'm bracing myself for him to be ar**y!

 

Strawberries and creme fraiche in the shed - not as many as there would have been if I hadn't snaffled a few whilst brewing tea (waiting for pan to boil as kettle window is leaking. Sealant to repair it has been ordered and is on its way!)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Whoo hoo, yipee it's the holidays, I can go in to school in the mornings and get it over with.  It will be cooler and flexitime applies! Yahoo Smiley Happy

But the teachers have left it in such a mess. I'm supposed to deep clean it not to have to shift all their **** and then clean it!  I'm going to take pictures to show to my Premises Manager at our next meeting in September.  If I'm shifting stuff that cuts down on the cleaning time!  I'm really p****d off!  How do they think I can clean when there is "stuff" everywhere?

 

So sorry that YD has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, I hope it is easily managed and doesn't cause too many problems for her.   Hope Mum is better today and maybe some answers are forthcoming.

 

JCJ, I was all set go after your OH and tell him how selfish he was......but then you said you preferred your own cooking anyway so I was halted in my tracks. As you said MEN!  They are a totally different species

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We've all got a lifelong condition, Katy, and it's terminal: it's called life! Joking aside, I hope your daughter's thing can be managed so that it doesn't cause her too many problems. It sounds like your mum is being well looked after - complete with round-the-clock guards!! Yeh! To the scan photo. Something positive in the sea of **** that you seem to be knee deep in at the moment?!

 

Last day tomorrow, FF, then you can have the place to yourself without annoying teachers and children messing it all up again!

 

Busy day today getting lots of little jobs and errands done, including having my tooth rebuilt with white cementy stuff. Wasn't too bad - just the horrid numb, rubbery face from the anaesthetic injection. I hate that - always scared I'll bite and/or burn myself. 

 

Had to metaphorically bite my tongue this afternoon: OH said he'd cook dinner tonight, (he always cooks on a Tuesday, unless we're shopping - his idea) but he'd like to not do it for the rest of the holiday!! WHAT??? So I'll cook 7 nights a week then? Me, that has EARNED a holiday because I'm not ***** retired!! Grrrr! Soooo angry. He is completely oblivious to how ridiculously, breathtakingly selfish he's being. I could have had a right strop, said sooo many things, but I held my tongue, not least because I prefer my cooking anyway!! MEN!?! 😞

 

Strange sensation earlier: sat outside at 9pm in a vest and shorts. Felt a bit weird. Bumps on skin. Good grief! Goosebumps! I was actually cold!! What a novelty!!

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you for the hugs girlsSmiley Happy and thank you for dinner, maybe a guest all week??? instead of Sundays.

 

Can't believe it's only Tues............all results have come back negative..........she's had hundreds of tests, her meds have been altered but no improvement regarding mobility, she is now being observed 24 hours a day someone sits at her bed because she has fallen twice today, she is oh sooooooooo stubborn and determined that she can do things for herself, wouldn't use the buzzer or ask for assistance so they are also now being really strict with her. More tests today and tomorrow and physio has started.

YD went to docs today and she has been diagnosed with something not life threatening but lifelong!!!!

Really??? Have had enough grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Am assuming these are a little batch of life challenges??? don't need anymore, thank you.

One piece of good news, now have a scan pic of my new baby GS/GD xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hugs from me too, Katy, so glad that Mum's brain scan came back ok.  A simple thing like a vitamin deficiency or infection can lead to all sorts of strange symptoms (as I know to my cost!).  Hope it is easily fixable. Scarily worrying for you but watch out for yourself as you'll be of no help to her if you get ill. Hope the carer situation gets sorted asap.  

 

Lovely, lovely dinner. Ate so much I didn't have room for the dessert.  Thanks JCJ, I have snaffled the white wine and the maltesers...........what I am wondering is.......if you put all those goodies in the shed for us........just what have you kept for yourself?

 

It's too flippin' hot down here.  Only two more days of term to get through and an inset day when just three of the staff will be in (and three of their children).  Thursday I can start the summer clean in the mornings and go in when it "might" be cooler.  I don't know when we start back in September so I haven't yet worked out when I can start my three weeks holiday.  That's my first job when I get there tomorrow.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

And 2 bottles (miniatures) of wine: 1 white, 1 rosé that came with the maltesers!! 😄

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you are feeling calmer. I was going to offer dinner (fervently wishing it wasn't just virtual!) but wasn't sure if it would be appropriate!

 

Dinner is: roast beef, roasties, yorkshire pudding, braised root vegetables, cauliflower, broccoli, red cabbage with raisins and red wine vinegar (don't knock it until you've tried it!) and gravy followed by mango and passion fruit frozen yoghurt with ice cream, red grapes, crème fraiche garnished with dark chocolate flakes. Nom - if I say so myself - nom!

 

There are other goodies in the shed too, but you'll have to hurry, they won't last long. My loot from grateful Y6 parents/kids included:

  • 1 large dairy milk bar
  • 1 4-fingered kitkat
  • 1 large box dairy milk chocolates
  • 1 small bag Roses chocolates
  • 1 box maltesers
  • Box of 6 assorted large cup cakes - personalised
  • single small cupcake
  • Several other non-edible items including a cute teddy, a pen, a mug and some "smellies"

It's been a little bit cooler here today, with intermittent cloud cover. I hope you're not suffering too much, FF. My rain dancing prowess seems to have deserted me! 😐

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah thank you JCJSmiley Happy, am feeling calmer now, just a lot yesterday and such a shockSmiley Frustrated

Brain scan was fine, all other tests are due back tomorrow so will find out afternoon time. She was being pretty mean to me when I went up so am assuming she is feeling a little better haha. Hospital was very, very hot and I was obviously agitating her so we weren't there for long, perhaps half an hour. She will be annoyed that I "sent" her to hospital..............seemingly it's now out of my hands regarding carers as A & E, ambulance men and ward all contact doctor and then care is arranged, we'll see.

Feeling tired but "insomnia" cream is keeping me awake, as well as everything elseSmiley Frustrated

 

Can I please come for dinner tonight? and what will we be eating? am getting used to this, Sunday pamperingSmiley Happyxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Katy! Hugs. xxx I know it's easy for me to say but try not to panic. Don't run around making yourself ill too! I hope things settle quickly and they can sort her out. On the plus side, she can't argue against carers after this? Fingers crossed. I'll be thinking of you. xxx
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Am on the "stressed to the max" bench, went along to Mum's and had to call an ambulance, she was unable to stand/walk without keeling over. So spent all day at hosp, didn't arrive home till after 9. All sorts of tests being done, has had a brain scan, tests last night and more today. I had only been gone from hosp last night, 15 mins max, when she fell over again after me saying do not try to get up on your own so she was moved to a ward where it's more one to one nursing. Am going to leave in around an hour, up to hos, have already been along to house to switch off stuff and collect nightwear etc.

And had another haematoma.................haha no wonder???

Will pop back when I know more xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Been on the completely kn******ed bench in the shade in the garden most of the day, apart from a quick visit to a local garden centre for lunch (tea and a toastie) and to pick up some canes to build a fence to tame a rampant budlea.

 

Serving in the café was a woman who used to work at our school and to whom I gave my chillows, because she was struggling with menopausal flushes. She thanked me and said they had saved her life in this heatwave! I am so pleased because when I gave them to her I was embarrassed that they were dingy and dusty and a weeny bit mouldy inside. (I did flush them out with bleachy water to try to cure the last issue). I half expected her to bin them in disgust, so I'm delighted that they have been useful. Sooo glad I didn't bin them. 🙂

 

Play yesterday was hideous. Major pregnant silence due to technical hitch that I was responsible for solving (and I have to keep telling myself I *wasn't* responsible for causing!) Every rehearsal went fine, but on the day the computer said "no", so I couldn't play the backing track for the first song. Kids were brilliant. They just stood there quietly waiting to sing while I went into what felt like 4 hours of panic. Luckily, as for every rehearsal, I had the backup CD with me so I bunged that in and we were away! Tried to rectify the problem for song 2 but still no joy - more awkward silence - so resorted to the CD for the rest of the performance, even though it had other children's voices on it for one scene, rather than the ones we had recorded. Such a shame. But the parents and staff said it was brilliant - because they didn't know how good it *could* have been. I've got to stop beating myself up about it.  I did my best. 

 

I've told next year's Y6 teacher that we are NOT going to leave the Leavers' performance until the very last day, it just adds to the stress because there's so much else to do!! 😐

 

What a long week. Time to chill and recover before getting organised for camping on Friday.

 

It started to rain 2 hours after I got home yesterday. I thought, "typical! 2 months of slogging at work in a heatwave, then rain as soon as we break up!" but actually it only drizzled for a bit then stopped - not the heavy rain that was forecast (and that the garden desperately needs!)

 

Probably should do the watering yet a*****gain, but CBA. 

 

Bleeping for ***** bin bag??! How ridiculous?!!

 

There's quite a few of those sort of clouds around - what should I call them? Dark grey? Ethnic minority? Not white? 😛

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good luck with the playSmiley Happy, once it's done it's over for some weeks anyway, woo hoo!!

Would just go to chippie tonight haha.

FF, are you still driving around haha.

Word was pretty innocuous really, was describing the colour..................

 

Phoned docs this morning and went along a short while ago, it was a hematoma, so have some dressings, only have 1 week to go with cream but it's basically looking good, so just to continue............

Have to now go into town and then up to Mums with some shopping, but am sitting on the double, double "CBA" bench. Am giving myself an hourSmiley Frustrated xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I've spent half an hour on the rude word and still haven't got it, but then this hot weather has completely fried my brain.  I have no idea who I am or what I'm doing, I just seem to follow a pattern that's been laid down over the years.

 

I've been driving Daughter to many places today as she had things to do.and places to go.  Expecting a call tomorrow to pick her up to collect her car but it won't be in the morning as I go to my friend that I don't clean for then.

 

Katy, you're right to speak to Mum first, but whatever she says you must do what is the best for her.  JCJ said it right, it's keeping her independence at home.

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just spent 5 minutes trying to work out what rude word you used: " *bleep* bag of rubbish". (And I've seen the sort of words you write with sparklers!! :D)

 

Loooooooong day today. Leavers' evening was lovely. The kids all looked so grown up in their formal attire. I even got an unexpected lasagne and chips and lemon cheesecake. That saved a trip to the chippy on the way home and a debate whether or not to have Friday night chippies too.

 

Could have made it, timewise, to swimming, but physically unable to drag myself there. Finding it really hard to even summon enough energy to shower and wash my hair! Only 3 more hours of school left but we've still got to do the Leavers' play. WHY did they leave that to the last day??! 😞 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I've been *bleeped*, bad moi hahaha xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha, safety pin indeed, no shocking children, parents and staff, what are you like??? Showing cleavage?? hee hee!!

Glad tooth is almost sorted and not scarily expensive............

You will soooo be looking forward to break with YD, woo hoo!

Hope you had another nice day with daughter, even if you were the designated driverSmiley Happy an excuse for tea/coffee and cake.

 

Did not phone about Mum today because I just can't do it without speaking to her first, even if she disagrees I will still do it, just need to let her know first, feels a little sneaky not speaking to her about what will happenSmiley Sad

Did cupboard woo hoo!!! Had a proper look this morning and storage boxes wouldn't have worked at all, bought a couple of smallish boxes so everything, toiletries and cleaning stuff are organised now, and I know exactly what is needed, so tidy, **bleep** bag of rubbish in the bin. Really didn't take that long, would have been epic........... so by being a little tidier it has saved me lots of botherSmiley Happy

Just back from supermarket and had to sit down asap, Felt a funny kinda pop on my leg and lifted up trouser leg, oh my blood pouring down my leg.................urgh! Thought it looked a little funny this morning was very black in colour, yuck, had a check Dr Google and bleeding does occur, have had little bleeds but this was a flow haha. When I was checking that I noticed insomnia is a side effect, I haven't been sleeping for days, thought it was regarding worrying about Mum, just shows you. Am not phoning about it today, really can't be bothered will see what things are like tomorrow. xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Dentist visit accomplished, although the shortcut through from my usual carpark had been blocked off so I had to walk a lot further than anticipated. Still made it in time... just. Dentist on top floor of a large Victorian terraced house (other dentists use the other rooms in the building) As I was making my way up stairs (no lift), I laughed out loud when I saw a sign on a door after about five flights that said "Emergency oxygen in here" - thought to myself that I might just need that! 🙂

 

Dentist has filed off the rough edge, declared it to be just the enamel cracked off - "no sign of decay", and I've made another appointment for Tuesday to have the tooth built back up with a white filling. He says he's not going to remove the existing filling. Phew! Total cost will be a lot less than feared (but still an unwanted expense in the week my car tax is due, YD just had a birthday and the credit card payment for our holiday cottage needs clearing!! :() He'll do a scrape and polish at the same time. My tongue is still a bit sore, but at least there's no sharp edge so it should heal quickly.

 

"Daughter camping" is a week on Friday, until Monday - that's all the weather forecast you need! It will **** it down for 4 days after 2 months of scorching heatwave!

 

You are doing the right thing getting carers for your mum, Katy.  I expect she'll come around to the idea eventually, especially if you keep telling her it's to put your, and the rest of the family's mind at rest. Tell her it's not losing her independence but enabling her to stay independent for longer - the alternative being a care home!!

 

Cat's eyes in the sink in the middle of the night would freak me out, FF! But then I don't own a cat.......! 😄 Looking forward the seeing the Purdie Album of photos at MMU6.

 

Ballgown hanging up ready to take to school tomorrow. Leavers' evening is "formal dress" this year so I can't get away with wearing what I've worn all day! Boo! I've got a long dress I bought for a colleague's posh wedding (the marriage lasted less than a year!) that I haven't worn since. It's got sequins all around the underbust and I've had to deploy a subtle safety pin to reduce the amount of cleavage on show - after all, it is a primary school event!! The dress is a weany bit big because I bought it before I dropped a dress size, but it will have to do.

 

Probably won't make it to "Jersey" for swimming. Already completely exhausted! Y6 have been sooo wearing today - and Y4/5, who I had all afternoon. 2 more alarm settings. Nearly there. I couldn't even contemplate continuing until next Wednesday, FF!! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Not sure what you're sitting on Katy, 'cos there isn't a guilty bench anywhere in Benchland.  Chuck that guilt in the lake pronto.

If you are doing the best thing for Mum, then you shouldn't feel guilty...but I do understand how you feel.  Possibly, a week or so after carers start coming in, she'll be telling you that you should've got them months ago!

Get Daughters to help with hallway cupboard? Smiley Happy

 

Hope tooth is all better now JCJ.

 

Not a lot going on down here. Daughter popped in this am.  so we caught up on all the gossip.  I am her chauffeuse tomorrow as her car is going into the  Garage for MOT.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha FF, that's scary, two eyes peering at you, arrrrrrrrrgh, hahaha!!

Hope your tooth is mended now and not ouchy, JCJ.

When do you have your "daughter" holiday??

 

Had a day and a half yesterday, went along to Mum's and she is covered in bruises so called doc who came out this morning, everything ok blood pressure etc, but she is being referred to the falling clinic, helps with movement etc so fairly pleased with that. Spoke to doc yesterday and think it's time to have carers coming in, Mum is not pleased with the idea but I am finding it all extremely stressful, cause she doesn't answer her phone or door so I keep imagining the worst..................spoke to both daughters and cousin and they think it is the best idea, have been dithering for a while cause it's against her wishes. Will phone tomorrow to arrange an assessment and will sit on the "guilty" bench until then.

 

Have a large hallway cupboard and inside I have a shelving unit thing that almost touches the ceiling so have been stuffing it full of things am thinking of replacing with storage boxes, if I do that I will actually have much more room, the way I stuff hoover in is a joke and it would be lovely to just lift it outSmiley Frustrated!

But it will be a huge job, can I really face it??? Don't know.............will see. xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Five more get ups? You break up earlier than us then JCJ.  Our end of term is next Tuesday and the teachers then have an inset day on Weds.

 

Also joining you on on the "What? No tennis?" bench, came home tonight and didn't know what to do with myself!  Thanks for the cheesecake.  US Open starts not long after Norcambe so not too long to wait.  Wonder if Andy will be ok by then?

It was the right decision to miss Wimbledon.  

 

Purdie has spent most nights of this heatwave sleeping in the bathroom sink!  (I have pictures!)  It's a little disconcerting to get up for a wee in the early hours and, sitting on the loo, just look slightly to my left and behind and see a pair of amber eyes watching me.  However the last two nights she's been back on the bed. so it must be cooler.

 

I have jobs to do in town tomorrow so I must be off and and make a list , because, like you Katy, if it's not written down , it won't be remembered Smiley Sad

 

 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I will join youSmiley Happy, will bring strawberries and cream too, bought them today.

At least you have an appt JCJ, not too long until Wed, ouchSmiley Frustrated

Rhinestone shoes?? Will we see them at Norcambe?? A shiny day out in Lancaster perhaps?

 

Managed to have hair chopped, am really pleased, was caught in gale force winds (slight exaggeration perhaps) and it stayed in place. That "mirror" is not too awful in new place, am sure they are magnified though.

Faffed around town and ended up forgetting stuff, have to go back tomorrow so will write up my "post its " cause if it's not on there, there is no chance of me remembering................

Nausea has gone, fingers crossed, maybe it was a bug??

Leg is looking ugly that's what it's meant to do so can live with that, lots of people complain of horrific pain but I only have an itch.

Having issues with Lynn stuff, ordered new ones and had taken them out of packaging and popped them in drawer, went to wear them the other day and they are the wrong ones, so told docs reception when I was there on Fri, they think hand piece is not NHS, WHAT??? Contacting me again tomorrow.

Will be in shed shortly.............xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm on the "What? No Tennis?" Bench with a mugatea and some cheesecake if anyone would care to join me. Other beverages and foodstuffs are available if required!

 

Just 'phoned the dentist. He's only in Wednesday and Thursday this week - alright for some?! - so I've booked for the only remaining appointment on Wednesday. Tongue hurting now because it's catching on the sharp edge of the broken tooth. 😞

 

Going to be a looong week!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha! Benchland and real life collide. FF has rhinestone shoes! Going to bed with a big smile on my face.

 

Only five more get ups! 😄

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes, of course I've had strawberries and cream....not every day, just most of them Smiley Wink

 

Not your week JCJ, first an OAP moment then breaking a tooth!  Thank you for dinner, scrumptious as usual.

 

Mens tennis final just a little disappointing but not unexpected. If only Anderson had got one of those break ponts and got to a fourth set.  But I watched two wonderful semi's so I'm happy .......and bereft, what am I going to do now?  

 

Oh yes, mend an Elsa dress for my youngest GD, that was my task for tonight.  Disney play dresses sooooo expensive so this one, bought at a charity shop was worth mending. Fortunately I had the right colour cotton in my sewing box.  This kind of inspired me so I sewed sparkly buttons onto my canvas shoes to jazz them up a bit!

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Of course you are welcome for dinner! Tonight it is roast chicken, roasties, roast parsnips, Yorkshire pudding, carrots, cabbage, buttery leeks, redcurrant jelly and gravy followed by American style cheesecake (bought, I'm afraid - I've been busy on the tennis bench!) with raspberries (homegrown from our freezer.)

 

I snapped a tooth in half on my first mouthful! 😞 Now I've got to try to fit a dentist appointment into an already busy week. It's not hurting at the moment and, although there's a rough edge, I don't think it's going to lacerate my tongue like last time I broke a tooth. That tooth is already mostly filling and now there's even less tooth. And it's next to the gap where I had one removed (due to a bodged filling) years ago. 😞 Dentures here we come? OAP? Me????

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

An OAP??? What are you like??? HahahaSmiley Happy

Glad your OH is safe.................

All quiet in Benchland due to tennis, have you had the obliglatory strawberries and cream, FF & JCJ???

 

Booked assistance for train journey today, gosh it's getting closer and closer.............

Am feeling ok no sickness tabs needed, hurrah, a bit of a thumpy head though but that maybe due to air pressure, dull and stuffy here again. Don't think it's lido as if you feel sicky it's only that day and some of the nextSmiley Frustrated and because I have nausea tabs during lido now, nausea is usually only light.

Hair being chopped tomorrow, it's such a mess, have a flat head hairstyle at the moment, not a pretty sight.......

Away to lounge around until dinner, are we allowed to come this evening JCJ?? xx