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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Lots of pups. How exciting! Glad you are feeling brighter, grumpy.

Did you wear your tiara with your dress, Katy?

I ordered my new glasses - they were a 2 for 1 offer but I didn't need a second pair: prescription is unchanged and I already have sunglasses (for driving) and the old pair, I'm currently wearing, that will do as a spare; so I asked what other deal could be done. In the end I got the reaction lenses free, and the eye test, and they knocked off the £30 I paid for the repair of my old glasses to save me having to schlep 10 miles+ to their other store just to get it - no point reclaiming the unrepairable, unwearable glasses! (This branch recently opened in my nearby town) They still cost an eye-watering amount, but my prescription hasn't changed for 4 years or more, so they should last a good while. Although they are frameless, they do match my tiara because they have dark blue "arms" that compliment the sapphires in the tiara perfectly! 😁

Optician was concerned about a membrane growing over my right retina which she says is almost certainly due to Tapoxyfen so, even though it is not affecting my sight at the moment, I will have to have regular eye tests to monitor it. Got to go back every 12 months.

After that expense, I thought the washing machine was on the way out too, at the weekend: washing didn't spin properly - it was still really soggy wet. I cleaned the filter and tried to spin it again. Still sodden. Tried again and machine started making horrible noises. Oh no! I turned it off, drip dried the washing outside (through several rain showers!) and ignored the machine for a couple of days, tried a wash this afternoon and it seems to be working again. Phew! Fingers crossed it was just a tizzy fit and will keep on working. Let the bank balance recover before I have that to pay for too! 

School is preparing to close in the event the *****y Coronavirus gets to our area. We're still open until told otherwise, but all the kids have been given books to work in at home and been reminded of their login details for the online learning platform where the teachers will have to put their lessons. I'm not sure what we TAs will be expected to do to earn our pay if we can't go in!! Looks like I might get a sneak preview of retirement?! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

More news on the puppy front -  Stripe's sister Meg is now in pup to the same dog, a fine upstanding chap called Hank. It is all planned, and Hank is strutting his stuff.......

So Joey will be an Uncle again in May.

Energy levels seem to be improving a bit, so I feel more cheerful.

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Love roast beef, yummy yum!!

No it was "The Marriage Pact" oh my..............

The Hunting Party is lying half read.

 

Had a lovely, lovely meal last night, curry, no leftovers haha, also had a glass of wine really pushing the boat out and I wore a dress.........

Just spent ages trying to find my favourite cardi, was getting really mad because I couldn't understand where it could be. Went through wardrobes several times, even got the ladder out to check shelves. Nope, gave up. Still niggling me so last attempt, went through lifted out a coat and there it was hiding, woo hoo!! Hate when I can't find things grrrrrrrrrr. Also realised how many tops etc I have and it's really ridiculous so at some point will have to have a clear out, it will only be when I can be bothered which maybe a long time.

YD and GS are coming home soon, they are arriving by train so am going to meet them, scarlet fever gone now thank goodness. He was able to go to nursery because as long as antibiotics have been given for 24 hours he was ok and also he wasn't contagious by that time.

Mammo on Fri, am I nervous? no feel ok about it. Think it's waiting for the letter that makes me feel more nervous haha.

Lots going on this week, seems to be the norm now. Will just have to get over it haha xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Roast beef and all the doings in the shed. Also an experimental CBA dessert that turned out to be delicious. I always make a big batch of crumble topping, when I make a crumble, and freeze some. It's brilliant because you can just pour it,  still frozen, over prepared fruit and Bob's your uncle. I had some raspberries in the freezer and also some mango chunks from when I bought 2 for 50p because they were nearly overripe. Didn't know if you could successfully freeze - or cook - mango, but it turns out you can! Delicious dessert involving <5 mins (fruit prep in microwave!) work. Yum. Made custard (thank you Bird's custard powder) to go with it. Help yourselves. Quick, before I scoff the rest. 😊

Glad you managed to get a rest today, KTC. What was the stupid people book, The Hunting Party? I've just finished "Eleanor Oliphant is absolutely fine" by Gail Honeyman. It was well written, with likeable characters, funny and moving at the same time. I recommend it. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hello grumpy, fingers and toes crossed for you. Let's hope energy levels return soon, let us know how you are doing.

 

Ooh how lovely does that make you a great auntie?

 

Woohoo fridge has gone, bet you are so glad, no more faffing around waiting...........

Good luck with glasses, be experimental, well at least something that matches the tiara, throw in a few diamonds, flashing lights etc.

Have had a quiet day, hurrah, woke up at stupid time this morning, grrrrrrrrr, but sat drinking tea etc for a couple of hours. Finished book first for ages and thought really? People can't be that stupid??? Wouldn't recommend...

Had arranged for hairdresser to go and cut Mum's hair, she went up yesterday and Mum could not, would not be persuaded, her hair is very long (for Mum) so nothing much anyone could do, so she will just have to have flowing locks in the meantime.

Am out for tea tomorrow, restaurant in a small village, so am looking forward to that.

Are there any leftovers tonight please JCJ? Hope food wasn't left in fridge you have given away haha xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloooo grumpy! Congratulations to Stripe. Are you going to be able to resist those pups? I hope you get some respite from the fatigue during your treatment break. Fingers crossed.

Goodness, Katy, what a lot your little GS has been through. And you with him. I suppose you've had to provide all the childcare as he can't go to nursery when he's ill? Hope you get a break soon.

The fridge has gone! At last. At the 4th attempt. Then one of the earlier contacts got back to me and said she could collect it on Monday. Oops! Had to send a grovelling apology.

 

Eye test booked for Monday. Quite looking forward to having new glasses - even though they'll probably nearly identical to the last pair!

 

Decided to swim Lake Windermere next. 18km or just over 11 miles, apparently. Should complete it before I finish work. Might brave another of the lochs in the summer - even my "special" swimsuit probably isn't up to the tasking of preventing me freezing my **** off (or what's left of them?!)

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ladies, 2 pieces of good news - 

Joey is now an Uncle, his friend Stripe, a black Lab, has had 4 pups!!! I've told him he has to set a good example, some chance.....

And I'm on a treatment holiday to see if it will reduce the fatigue - fingers crossed!

Hope you are keeping chipper and not letting the b##ers get you  down.

Love

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

How very annoying..................grrrrr

Did you manage to get rid?

Oh dear the glasses, even more annoying.........grrrr

Am thinking you should return up here, lochs will be very cold this time of year but fingers crossed you still have your "special" swim suit, you won't even feel the freezingness with that on.

Busy week, worse week ahead, GS still has remnants of SF, antibiotics finish today. He's a monkey with meds now, most of it ends up all over him.

Cold here again tonight, soon be bedtime hurrah!! xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Of course he didn't show up for the fridge. No apology. No message or phone call. Didn't reply to my text. Why are people so rude? He is being given a free fridge and hasn't got the decency to turn up when he says he will. 😠 I'll contact him tomorrow and tell him one of the other interested scroungers can have it unless he collects it before the end of the weekend. They're going to close our road to put in new water mains. We'll still have access but we probably won't want someone trying to pick up a fridge!! 

 

On a happier note: I've just finished my River Anker swim. 🎉31 miles since the beginning of August. Yeh. Celebrating with a mugatea and a hot cross bun. 😁 Need to pick my next challenge. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

On the waiting bench. Waiting for man to come and collect the fridge we're giving away because we don't have seed potatoes for the allotment - or harvested veg - to keep in it, in the garage, anymore and OH wants the space in case he decides to get a mobility scooter. Guy should be coming to get it this afternoon. He (she?) calls himself 'Sin' on the website (a tree that provides glue, or chewing confectionery!) so I put "sin fridge" on the calendar. Sounds MUCH more exciting than a boring collection. What would be in your sin fridge? Gateaux? sausage rolls? Cheesecake? CHEESES. Yum.

 

Also waiting for opticians to ring me back. I missed a call as I was driving home earlier. I returned the call and she needed to speak to technician to see why he wanted to speak to me. 2 hours later.... They can't fix my glasses. Boohoo. So I'll have to book an eye test and get some new ones. Pronto. That's an expense I could do without.

 

Spent half an hour in the  chemist earlier as well while they faffed around looking for OH's prescription. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Grrrr. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

:smileyvery-happy:You are such a catsad JCJ tee hee!!!

Hopefully you are in the land of nod............

I know I don't know what's happened to me? no more creme eggs??? EVER.

Aaaah that's lovely baby walking or nearly there, two babies here are not. What are they like?

Oh the glasses, 2 weeks that is ages hopefully you will receive a call sooner, nothing worse.

 

Had my lido yesterday, fell asleep while lido was pumping into my veins, so time passed quickly. Usual headache and a little nausea but all ok.

Am off to bed soon too, YD and GS are here, he now has scarlet fever, honest to goodness he seems to catch everything. Novovirus, chickenpox, croup his immune system will be fabulous xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ah. I see my original post has been reinstated. I'll get off the FF bench and mosey on over to the I've got a headache bench. Probably eye strain. Also have sore place behind right ear where the old glasses rub. Think I'll just follow your example, KTC, and go to bed.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Cat sad????? They've messed with the emojis. Can't type : and ")" any more for a smiley face. Grrr. I never use the cat emojis. 😠

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

If you need me, I'll be on the FF bench for the foreseeable. :catsad:

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh for goodness sake! Just typed a long reply, with difficulty - wearing the wrong glasses - and it posted with "emoji cat very happy" in it which I didn't put there! Tried to edit it - several times and now it says "post removed as it is Spam" Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Gone off  creme eggs? Gone off creme eggs!? Sorry, who are you? And what have you done with Katy?! :catvery-happy: hehehe Come to your senses at last? Vile sickly things. My influence is rubbing of on you. Lol

 

Is your face as tight as a drum skin now? :cattongue:

 

GD took her first unaided steps yesterday and DIL just happened to be filming her on her phone at the time. You can hear her saying, "Oh my G.. First steps!!" in the background. GD had gone into the kitchen with her wooden walker full of bricks (good old fashioned toy :)) and nicked a plastic pot from a cupboard (DIL was there so she was perfectly safe) and was beating a slow retreat with the pot in one hand and her walker in the other. DIL was filming it to send to me and GD let go of the walker, so she could hold the pot to her mouth with 2 hands, turned round and started walking back towards DIL. She fell over when both mummy and she realised she wasn't holding on. Lol. I've told YD and DIL that their work has just begun. :catvery-happy:

 

Yesterday, I broke my glasses. Don't know my own strength. I was only cleaning the lenses and something pinged onto the floor. I looked down and the nose pad had come off. Oh that's simple to fix, I thought, but on closer inspection, I realised that the metal bracket had shorn off! Trolled off to opticians - should've gone to... - and they're going to have to put a new bridge on, because they are frameless. It's going to cost me 30 quid and take 2 weeks!! :catsad: Meanwhile I'm stuck wearing an old pair that rub my ear and I can't see quite as well. Hey ho. Cheaper than a new pair I suppose, especially as they are varifocal and transition lenses. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Get cream tomorrow, will let you know how it goes...........that's what I get for not putting in the question mark hee hee.

Have gone off creme eggs, WHAT??? Am managing to eat everything else though. 

Oh my 2 grandbabies JCJ perhaps??

Great news you have booked, you wouldn't have believed possible last year.

I went to bed last night at 7.30pm and woke at 6.00am was just sooooooooooo tired.

Still very cold here but there has been a lot of sunshine. xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sorry you've been having a stressful time. I hope the tears helped. Let it all go! I've put a jumbo box of tissues, a vat of tea, several creme eggs and some cake by the CSL bench along with some hugs.

 

Hahaha! I misinterpreted the last sentence of your last post as "YD, who needs botox" harsh! What a thing to say about your daughter! 😛 Ah. You mean "one for me and one for YD. Who needs botox?" lol.

 

My girls are on holiday in the Peak District. YD's uni friend (best woman at their wedding) visited them there today, with her husband and 6 week old baby. DIL is apparently broody again after having tiny baby cuddles! 😄

 

I've booked a week in a cottage, coincidentally very near where they're staying, for a week, from Good Friday. Woohoo! Hopefully OH will still be OK to go by then. It's only 6 weeks away. I have no cancellation insurance so he'd better be! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes it is hahaha, what am I like?

Am reading The Marriage Pact and am actually enjoying it so those 2 will remain where they are for the time being. Also cleaned out bookcase so have around 40 books to take to charity shop, hopefully tomorrow.

Munched the pizza................thank you.

 

Yesterday started well, then went to ****, I ended up crying, thinking I don't know how much more stress I can cope with, it's just going on and on and on.

Today my head is clearer and if this is what it is, this is what it is...........nothing I can change or do so it is what life is throwing me at the moment, not the best for a person that needs control haha.

It's sunny here today, but has been so very cold, I am constantly freezing, doesn't matter how many layers I wear??? Am about to remove myself from the "moaning minnie" bench.

Completely different subject, ED came in this morning and I said my gosh your face looks really tight (in a good way) she says it's that cream I have been using, I was like wowee so 2 bottles ordered one for me and one for YD, who needs botox..............xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Birthday cake? Where? *sweeps cake crumbs off chest*

 

I made a pizza today. From scratch. Made proper dough and everything - needed to use up some old wholemeal seeded flour. 'twas delicious and there's one left over for Monday and there's some in the shed.

 

Is The Hunting Party one of those 2 books, KTC? What do you think of it?

 

I've researched cottages in the Peak District for a week at Easter, but I'm not booking anything yet. He's been a bit shaky again since we got back from Norwich. Fingers crossed.

 

Been in contact with a pension advisor and he's going to find out how much I will get if I claim it early and how to go about it. It's quite scary! Though YD pointed out that next time we visit them won't have to be in school holiday time! 😄

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

So very glad things are going well for your OH and his new meds, brilliant news he is also making plans..............what a difference.

Lovely to see your girls, and feel relaxed and happy. It maybe teething with the eczema fingers crossed all the potions work.

Had a quick look at synopsis of book it does sound good. I have 2 half read at the moment, I can't believe the change in me, someone who was never without a book to now someone who doesn't read very often at all.......

Mum is ok, care people say she is fine but when I have been up she doesn't appear to be focusing that well, hospital said she would do this, so a case of wait and see.

Eldest GD's birthday today, she is a teenager, wow something else I can't believe haha. Birthday cake in the shed.

Bought a huge coat yesterday, it is well past my knees, very warm and much needed, it's cold here. Snowed on and off, then rain today..............yuck xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sorry. Went out of contact. Hotel WiFi wouldn't work on my phone. 😞 I may have to get a new phone as there seems to be an ever increasing list of things this one won't do anymore. Grrrrr. How I loathe built in obsolescence!

 

We had a lovely couple of days with the girls and are now back at home. OH is unscathed by the trip and suggesting he goes with his brother next time he visits their other brother in London!! I am going to book somewhere not too far away for a week at Easter. Woohoo! 3 cheers for the neurologist and effective medication: I honestly believed, 6 months ago, that we'd never be able to go on holiday again.

 

GD is adorable. Poor little might has eczema everywhere and, possibly, a fungal infection on her face. Trip to docs on Monday has resulted in a multitude of creams, lotions and potions to apply. Let's hope they work. We went out to a garden centre and she was making friends with all the other people there as she stomped around the place holding YD's hands and grinning at everyone. 

 

How's mum, KTC?

 

I have a book recommendation: Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine. I read it on the train and I didn't want the journey to end because I wanted to keep reading! Had to finish it when we got home. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What's happening?

What you doing?

Hahaha xx 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yes I found the chippie, woo hoo!!

Had a lovely time, food was really good, torrential rain yesterday, so had to run into restaurant, tiara was almost blown off my head............

Birthday cake in the shed.

 

Have a superly, wonderful time with your girls JCJ. Give that grandbaby lots of kisses, cuddles and hugs.

Do you have any plans?

Enjoy and have lots of fun xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Bought an extra fish and chip supper and left it in the shed last night. Hope you found it. Tonight there is a homemade cheesy leek and mushroom pie with mash, peas and carrots. You're welcome.

Train booked for 11:51 on Monday and YD is working from home so she can meet us at the station when we arrive just after 3pm. The hotel is apparently a 7 minute car ride from the station and a similar distance from their house. So excited. 🙂

Hope you enjoyed the big birthday bash and it didn't get snowed/flooded/blown away.

Blowing a hooli here today again, with some rain but not as much as forecast. That's why I made a pie. Might as well do something productive. Wasn't going out anywhere!! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Coffee cake yum yum!! I just bought one recently and it was awful, yuck, it went in the bin.

Still on the hunt for leftovers and this is your chippie night, oh no.

 

Mum arrived back yesterday afternoon, we were up at hospital in the morning and I have been up to see her today. All the weight she managed to put on has disappeared and she is incredibly thin again. She was ok but superly tired so wasn't there for long. Carers said she was on good form this morning and they were very glad to see her back. Spoke to doc and said I didn't want anymore assumptions regarding C and I wanted Mum checked for anything else it could be..............it is now noted.

It's freezing, freezing cold here, my hands are like ice, have the heating on and just can't get warm at all, brrrrrrrr.

All 3 GC 's birthdays are being celebrated tomorrow, we are all going out for a meal. Am wearing a dress woo hoo, might even slip on my tiara.

Hope weather behaves JCJ, did you book somewhere fairly near?? Can't remember.

Exciting stuff, are you leaving early on Mon? xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Beef and mushroom stew and baked potatoes in the shed. Help yourself. Also coffee cake. 

 

Only 3 miles left of my River Anker swim. Will arrive at the point where it flows into the River Tame, in Tamworth in 3 weeks time. Yay! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope mum is well enough to go home today. What a scare! Good news that brain mets seem unlikely and that tumour is no bigger. Hugs.

 

We go to Norwich on Monday, until Wednesday. Let's hope the storm forecast for the weekend - again - doesn't cause rail disruption!  OH still seems to be OK to go but I still haven't booked the train. Not going to tempt fate. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oops forgot to ask when you are off?? xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you for dinner, think I will be hiding in shed for days to come so any scraps you have will be most welcome!

Have had a torrid few days, in the early hours of Mon morning I was called by staff at care home mum was unresponsive and had a fever ambulance was already there. Went to hospital and she was diagnosed with delirium and pneumonia. Very touch and go. Today my mum is eating, talking and looking so much better. If all is well tomorrow she can go home. There is no change in lung tumour, same as it was 18 months ago. Very doubtful that she has brain mets. So will be made clear at consultation tomorrow that it is not to be assumed that everything relates to c.... Am furious..... I said I didn't think it was mets and her symptoms were really similar to when she had delirium before grrr will have to be really forceful from now on.

It is freezing cold here, can't get warm at all though maybe down to the stress over last few days. 

So glad your pain/ache has gone. Onwards and upwards xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Roast lamb dinner in shed with a delicious (even if I do say so myself) pud to follow: my version if a Bakewell Tart which has a crisp pastry base, homemade blackcurrant jam in the middle, topped with a coconut and lemon sponge, smothered in custard. Triumphant success. Yum.

 

I hope Mum continues to have good days, Katy; it's good that she wanted to get her hair done. It's a difficult time for you - enjoy all the good moments you can get with her.

 

It's been very wet and windy here - as everywhere - but, so far at least, we seem to have escaped any real damage. I hope all Benchlanders are safe and dry. 

 

My weird pain has gone. I make sure I don't hold my arm in a strained position when I'm doing my cross stitch and that seems to have fixed it. I hope.

 

Fingers crossed for your mammo. I agree, it's good to get the check and, hopefully, reassurance. Mine is due in October and I have to say I wish it was sooner: 3 years is a long time when you've been used to having them annually - especially when the BC wouldn't have been spotted without it!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

It is beautiful hereSmiley Happy xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Great news that you are booked, woo hoo!! And if OH misbehaves make it clear you will be off with or without him asap haha.

Thank you for dinner.............am hoping there maybe some leftovers for tonight??

Blood pressure drops periodically for some reason, think it was something to do with peripheral neuropathy? Has your uncomfortableness gone now? Am back to normal.

Had a call from hospital in another city about a mammo so arranged for next month. Am fine about it as would rather have one, than not.......

It's still a little hectic but will not have them both at the same time which is huge, haha.

This is GS's first full day so phoned a short while ago and he's doing fine, whew.

Mum is not great, C is spreading so am trying to prepare myself, have a consultation with doc next week. Easier said about preparing but feel very happy that we have had 18 months and fingers crossed still longer, she has had a lot to deal with over the last couple of months. Good news she wanted her hair washed yesterday and have arranged for hairdresser to visit this week. There will be good days and bad days but am very grateful xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Forgot to say, Katy, I've been watching Secret Scotland with Susan Calman. One of the episodes was in your neck of the woods. Stunning. Made me wonder why we meet in Norecambe!! 😛 (though I do know the real reason! :)) 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Of course I left a roast dinner in the shed! 😄 lamb this week with lots of veg, roasties and lashings of gravy, followed by chocolate surprise pudding (I mixed some of the left over mincemeat into the cake batter. Yum!) and chocolate sauce. In the small hours of this morning, I deeply regretted my food choices over the weekend. My stomach was screaming at me reminding me that I have no gallbladder!! 😞 I got hardly any sleep.

 

I hope you haven't had any more fainting fits, Katy. Could it be low BP? Or low blood sugar? Perhaps chocolate would help? Any excuse? Hehehe. 

 

Is your life going to be less hectic once GC settled into nursery. 

 

I have booked a hotel for the Norwich trip! Woohoo! On the edge of the city, about 10 minutes from station, by taxi, and about 7 minutes from the girls' house. I refused to pay the extra £50 to allow cancellation  (it already cost considerably more than Norecambe TL!!) and no sooner had I paid for it than OH has been shaky again! I delayed booking it because I didn't dare tempt fate, but he asked if I'd done it yet and my friend, who I met for coffee last week, told me she won't speak to me again if I don't go to see the girls - with our without OH! 🙂 Fingers crossed it's just a blip and we're not heading back to the pit we were in in the summer. I'm not booking the train yet!! 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you are "unpinked" now, what a fright??

Remember when I was at school and same thing happened to a friend, he was worried to bits until he spoke to his Mum................

Another busy week, on Thurs I nearly fainted, managed to lie down before I went down, haha. Half an hour later I was fine. Seem to have little spells of this, went to docs a while ago had tests etc and everything was ok.

Youngest GS had his settling in days at nursery, he cried going in but girls said he was fine once they distracted him. He starts properly next week. He also had his 12-15 month assessment all good. He is not walking yet so will have another check in 6 weeks. There are no concerns as he still has the adjustment, 7 weeks from his real age.

101 things happening tomorrow...........

It's been pouring the whole day here, grey, dismal, damp and cold, yuck.

Hope you have left some dinner in the shed JCJ xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Funny thing happened to me today. Twilight training at school so I had to go back. Just before I left to go home, I popped to the loo for a wee. Glanced down as I flushed and.... Oh no!! Distinctly pink! Panic mode instantly initiated. 8 years of Tapoxyfen finally causing gynae problems? Calmed myself down by realising the cleaners had been round - I could smell cleaning chemicals: maybe there was something in the loo? Vowed to reassess the situation at home before booking urgent doc's appointment. Fast forward to cooking dinner at home and I burst out laughing: I'd had homemade beetroot soup for lunch! Hahaha! Never noticed it before, but I bet that's the cause. Phew! Lol. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good news is you are going woo hooSmiley Happy!!

Something you didn't think would happen. Hope you can find somewhere near. When do you go? Are you off for a week?

We had SNOW today, just a little flutter but it's oh so cold.

Went up to see Mum, what a difference, feel so much happier.

Lots and lots of stuff done today, came home and put my feet up for a couple of hours, it was lovely to relax...............even watched a film I had ordered ages ago.

On the "have spoiled myself" bench, bought a coat, THAT jacket, 2 pairs of boots, (they will last for years) and 2 super cosy jumpers. They were all in the sales so have saved a fortune by spending a fortune haha.

Never do that, perhaps it's the new me?? Don't think so...............have guilt already.........

Crazy times start again tomorrow, GS has his settlement day at nursery this week, that should work out a treat, NOT, he has a little separation anxiety going on at the moment. We thought that both babies would be in on the same day but it's not to be there are no spaces left that day. Fingers crossed all goes well xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Where do the days go?

 

New meds do reduce shaking but don't stop it completely - there's still a bit of a tremor especially in his right hand - and stress, tiredness or hunger bring back the all over shaking, but at least that's not all the time now!

 

Weird boob pain seems to be nerve damage as it's in a different place some days. Not worried about it now. Hope you manage to find time to get your Lynn sorted.

 

OH has agreed that he can probably manage a trip to see the girls at half term but he's put a spanner in the works saying he doesn't want to stay in the city. So now I have to research to find somewhere that is accessible by train and not too far from the girls' house for a taxi ride (YD's car or otherwise!) Why does he always have to make everything so difficult?! There was me thinking I could just book somewhere we've been before, either near their house or near the station. After all, we're only going for 2 nights and we'll spend most of the time with them! Grrr! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What a difference JCJ, you must be feeling so much better regarding OH, very good news that meds are working. Do they make any difference to shaking?

Also good about dentist, woo hoo!

The reason am thinking Lynn, arm is also now uncomfortable, will need to make an appt with Lynn person but just now it's just not feasibleSmiley Frustrated

Have just spent ages searching for birthday gift for GS, ED made a suggestion, had to do some research as there must be about 100 different kinds of the same thing so finally picked one hurrah. 3 birthdays next month as all ED's children born in Feb!

Went up to see Mum this morning, blood pressure reducing well now, she looks much better than she did but not as she was prior to all of this. She spoke fine but had a couple of vacant moments where I had to repeat myself, she then answered immediately, so not sure if she was losing focus or just didn't hear me. I asked her if she wanted to have her hair done and she said yes so was pleased about that.

It was another lovely day here, warm sunshine again, no rain for two days haha xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Think mine might be Lynn in boob. Most of the time I'm not aware of it. It doesn't hurt to touch. Just feels like a dull ache inside. Can't feel any lump - other than the general lumpiness that's been there since surgery and RT. Could be bra "wire" rubbing? Most likely psychosomatic because it's THAT time of year: 8 years, almost to the day, since recall letter from mammo! I will get it checked if it gets worse/doesn't go away.

 

Dentist today. A new one because mine retired without warning a while ago.  I have been stressing about finding a new dentist but when I took OH last Friday for his check up with a different dentist at the same practice, I asked at reception if there was someone I could see and she told me that Mr M's client list had all been transferred to another dentist (also private and also Mr M!) I booked a check up for today because I was really worried about a black area around the bottom of one of my front teeth. I thought the tooth was going rotten and it's right next to where I had one removed years ago so I desperately don't want to lose it. I was imagining extensive, painful and expensive work to fix it. Turns out it was just staining! No work required. XRays offered but not very strenuously, so I declined. Just a quick scrape and polish and I was out of there - £56 poorer but feeling ecstatic: I was expecting it to be SO much more!! Yay! 3 cheers for new dentist (and he's good looking too! :D)

 

While I was in the dentist, I left OH at a nearby pub. When we met up after, he had been to the mobility shop and had been looking at scooters again!! He's so much better lately that he might just be able to manage one now.

 

He even managed dinner in Sainsbury's, (only a jacket potato, as they had no other hot food on tonight - typical! Grrr!) for the first time in Months, after coming nearly all the way around the shop with me!! Hurrah for being properly medicated at last! Going to suggest a half term visit to see the girls. 😄 

 

I'm on the K bench now. Will be in bed very soon. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

How is your niggle now?

Mine seems to have calmed down if I run my hand down the area I can feel it otherwise nothing. Do go to doc if yours is not any better asap. Am sure mine is Lynn.

It's one less worry the allotment......................

 

It was a lovely day here, went out for a walk with youngest GD, it even felt warm haha.

Was out yesterday for lunch, it was yummy, we have decided we are not going to go anywhere else as we all enjoy the food there. Also it saves us trying to think where next?

Started book but am super slow reading now so it maybe months before I can tell you if it's good or not haha xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hmmm. The fact that you have it too makes me less worried about my niggly underarm/boob pain. I wasn't aware of it for a couple of days and then it was back, briefly. I wonder if it's a bra issue: chafing on the op scars/damaged nerves maybe? Determined not to get in a fret about it. Thinking about it makes it worse! 

Oh dear, sorry your mum was not so good again. It must be such a worry for you. I hope they're keeping her as comfortable as possible. Hugs.

I finally got all the leeks dug up on the volunteer allotment. Grabbed a chance on Wednesday - the only day it hasn't rained this week. There's a big crate of them waiting to be trimmed and washed (a job for today) before going to the food bank. I said a goodbye to the allotment as I sat in the car park with a cuppa from the flask. Hopefully, that will be it and we can hand the key back. Trying to stop OH stressing about what happens to the place now. It is out of our hands. He's done his bit! 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh my goodness, couldn't believe what I was reading.................

Have exactly the same!! Can't tell where it is either? But roughly same area you are describing, I was thinking something to do with Lynn? It's niggly and have been aware of it for a few days, have taken paracetamol.

 

Went up next day to see Mum and she was looking really awful.

Have a very grumpy GS sitting on my knee, he has the cold, it's a distraction for me at least, no time to think Smiley Sadxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope mum is still improving. Good to hear that she was chatty despite all the panic. 

Really windy and rainy here again today. Yukky. Took OH to local town so I could drop off some off the school's rejected books at the charity bookshop and he could get out of the house. Left him in the library but didn't feel like shopping: no money and nothing I really needed, and the weather was definitely too c*** to get the leeks in from the allotment, so I sat in the car for a bit and then went for a cuppa.

 

I'm trying very hard to stay off the paranoia bench. I've got an odd pain in my mutilated side. I couldn't actually say if it's in the breast or underarm. When I'm being rational I can attribute it to having spent a lot of time doing cross stitch for the first time in years (OH bought me a kit for a lovely owl picture for Christmas 2018 and I've finally got around to starting it!), sitting in the same position holding the embroidery hoop has probably caused a strained muscle or something. I'm going to give it the 2 week rule and try not to "What if?" After all, when I had the BC it wasn't painful - until they started dx and treatment - so this probably isn't anything to worry about. 🤞🏼

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Phone call early morning, stating Mum's blood pressure had rocketed again and emergency doc phoned.

Arrived at same time as doc, he did a thorough check, no sepsis or tia, vital signs good, responding well etc. She has been given a high dosage of blood pressure tabs and pressure has been lowering steadily throughout the day, whew. She chatted really well with me and ate her breakfast, drank a tea and 2 juices while I was there. After a couple of hours she started to look tired so said I would leave her to rest. Will be up tomorrow, own doc to come tomorrow too. She actually looked surprisingly good for all that's going on.

 

By the time I arrived back home my head was thumping, taken tab and all good now, hurrah.

It's very cold here, brrrrrrrrrrrr was raining but cleared up and sun was shining at one point.

Not started book yet xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Bought it, will let you know haha. Popped into town through gale force winds and rain and came across it in charity shop, same price as yours or maybe yours to be?

Hope you have just hung around the "CBA" bench, isn't it funny when you look back and think how did I manage that? You just doSmiley Happy/Smiley Frustrated

A urine infection for Mum, she has antibiotics now, more blood tests next week cause they were all over the place. Had a call last night because her blood pressure was very high, call back saying she was stable and all ok but they would have doc come out to check. She is oh so tired so will leave it a couple of days till she feels well enough for visitors, antibiotics should work quickly fingers crossed. Feel awful for not going up today but it's pointless, let her rest, I keep telling myselfSmiley Sad If there was anything untoward I would be called asap.

Lido after effects lasted all last week, mind was willing but body wasn't haha.

Oh and almost forgot, coveted jacket arrived today at sale price (no longer in sale) ordered black and was horrified cause I thought it looked navy??? It's not whew.............xx

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope the lido effect has settled down now and that your mum can be helped to feel better. 

 

I looked on "big river" ebook (light a fire) site for that book. It's only £2.99 at the moment. Oooh! Bargain! I was about to buy it but the first review I read said that, although the book was well written etc etc, none of the characters were in any way likeable and the reader wished them ALL dead. I don't like reading books where I can't empathise with at least some of the characters. I didn't buy it. Yet.

 

Soooo tired after the first week back. And I only work mornings! How on earth did I manage to work full time including teaching whole classes at least half of every day?!

I had to cover for the class teacher on Thursday morning for an hour and a half and all Friday morning. I had another TA in to help me - I refuse to do it by myself after the way I was forced to demote myself (proven now to be all about money and nothing to do with my ability: the number of times I've been told, "You'll do a better job than a supply teacher." subtext: you're cheaper than a supply teacher. Grrr) It went OK and I enjoyed it but I'd forgotten just how exhausting it is.

 

I was so tired last night that I forgot the tea bag for my cuppa in the car while OH swims. Luckily, I had a stash in the glove compartment from last time I forgot and had to buy some from the garage! Otherwise there would have been a full on tantrum! 

CBA bench for me this morning. 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Fingers crossed indeed!

You never feel as though you should be up and about when it's pitch black in the morning, never mind, next year at this time you won't be bothered what it's like??  hurrah.

Still not great, awake most of last night, def the lido, have had it before a long time ago, still worth it though.

Mum not great either she has lost substantial amount of weight in the last fortnight, bloods were taken yesterday, dietician in the meantime, I said it reminded me of when she had the delirium but because of the other diagnosis she has had, no one is sure till tests come back. Meeting on Monday.

Also broke my glasses today, grrrrrrrrrr.

Book has good reviews, Lucy Foley xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Probably the lido, KTC, or you're fighting off the lurgs? It seems a lot of people around here have had a chest infection over Christmas. Glad we escaped that. So far! Rest and recover and don't stress about what you aren't doing!

 

Who is the author of the hunting party? Haven't read it, I don't think. What genre is it?

 

Getting up at dark o'clock has been a struggle, (and going to bed at a reasonable time so that I can get up!) but it's been nice to see everyone at school. OH was back in dithery jittery mode since the middle of last week - no doubt related to me returning to work - but he seems a bit calmer today. Fingers crossed.