stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

[JCJ]

Will someone PLEASE help me up from the soggy tangle I'm in at the bottom of the escalator! I've spent the last hour trying to extracate myself from a mahoosive pile of sweaty soldiers jackets. It's not easy with tinsel covered hooves! And I bet you have all scoffed all the choc cake? 😞

[katytc]

Balloon burst early and soaked the donkey who then slipped and we (Mummy, Daddy and Donkey) tumbled to the bottom of the escalator, all ok though no serious injuries!
Flushing soldiers sang all the wrong words to the carols and those who mimed were out of sync.
Little lamb was a bit excited when it saw Clunk's thong and peed all over Clunk again completely ruining his spray tan.
Camels and Wise Men collided into one another on the ice, skates and bells and humps all over the place.
Oh dear am going to hide under the birthday table for a while, at least until Dame Grumpy swigs a few....where is that chocolate cake?? xx

[Kayteeb53]

Puff pant, sorry I was a bit late! Dinner with OH.
i thought all things considered, and what with the rain, and the exchange rate against the euro, and erm...everything - we did Ok. Didn't we?
no major wardrobe malfunctions. Tick. No electrical problems. Tick.
that'll do, off to the JM for Revcats birthday
(now where's that chocolate cake and Ali-burgers)
cheers everyone!
kay x

[RevCat]

Thank you everyone for your birthday greetings... hope the good will extends to that little incident when the flushing soldiers all collided at the foot of the escalators... so sorry Dame Grumpy I should have removed the blindfold before trying to synchronise the singing, flushing and skating. Please forgive me. Thankfully no serious injuries.

Mmmmmmmm ali-burgers, and that cake is the most delicious I've ever tasted. The balloons are amazing... how clever to find that precise colour. Oooh, now the music is starting ♫ ♫ ☼ ♪ ♪ ♫ and look at the way all the companion animals are curled up by the fire.

[foxyferret]

Well, That was a shambles wasn't it? Goodness knows what Dame Grumpy is going to say. I'm not naming names and yes, I know I got it wrong myself but ....dearie me!
Oh well, we'll have to rely on the old adage bad dress rehearsal means good performance.

Right, on to the party....Happy Birthday RevCat. I'm raising a glass to you and yes I will have a slice of that lovely looking chocolate cake. Can I just change out of this very heavy costume first?

[JCJ]

♫ Happy Birthday to YOU, Happy baaathday 2 ewes, Hippo birdie dear RevCat, bonkers panto to YOU. ♫ I hope you are having a lovely day.

Happy anniversary Kay - 42 years! Wow! Thought I was doing well at 30. Enjoy your meal.

'Pantivity' - love it! That means it's absolutely fine if it turns out to be complete pants. we can pretend that it was MEANT to!?

We had out school production today. I missed the one and only complete rehearsal yesterday, as I was at docs having Zolapest, so it was rather nerve wracking. Seriously, we are better prepared for a VIRTUAL play/panto/nativity! 🙂

When we were all singing Silent Night, I had to smother a smile, thinking of It's Icy Tonight and all you lovely lot! We sang We wish you a Merry Christmas and I was, of course mentally re-writing the lyrics thus:
We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a healthy New Year
Glad tidings we bring to you and you kin,
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year

Now give us some bloody good news, now give us some bloody good news
Now give us some bloody good news, and a glass of good beer
Good tidings we crave cos we're not very brave
So wish us a Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year.

We won't stop until it's all gone, we won't stop until it's all gone
Oh we won't stop until it's all gone, 'til we've nothing to fear
Good tidings we crave, cos we're not very brave
Please wish us a Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year

We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a healthy New Year
Glad tidings we bring to you and you kin,
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year

[RevCat]

Can I open my eyes yet? Can I? Can I? Keep walking into things!

Out for tea before rehearsal but will be back in time to flush with the chorus of soldiers.

[Quail]

Happy birthday, Revcat. We are grateful to have you with us!!!!!! MANY happy Returns!!!!!!!!!
Jelly, Glad you made it through, hope you are not too sore, and don't have to have the dratted drain in long!!!! You'll be ready for the pantivity before you know it!
Dame Grumpy (Dame Chirpy), good news about the surgery, sounds like you've got somebody who really knows what's what.
Those little lambs look fab with the tinsel, hope they don't put Clunk in the shade--he won't like that after all the trouble he went to to with the thong and the spray tan.
I had an awful dream last night where OH was strangling me, and then, when I tried to wake him up to chat about it he was so mean that I wanted to strangle him!!! Ah, marriage!
I'm putting my costume on now, so I'll be ready--Grumpy is already yelling at us!
STOP READING HERE, REVCAT!!!!!!!!
Ps everyone else, I made a nice double chocolate cake last night for after practice, and bought a few (!) candles. Shhhh.

[grumpy]

RevCat - Happy Birthday!!!
A thought -
When we are 20, we think we know it all
When we are 30, we realise we know nowt
When we are 40, we understand what we need to know
When we are 50, we've learnt lots of life's lessons
When we are 60, we've been putting those lessons into practice.....
Dunno what happens when we are 70 - not got there yet!!!
Love the title of PANTIVITY!!!!
REHEARSAL TONIGHT AT 7PM SHARP
grumpy (and chirpy !!)

[Kayteeb53]

Have a Fabulous birthday Revcat. On wandering around this forum your posts are everywhere, giving loads of kindness and support to so many, but today is YOUR day
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Revcat, happy birthday to you!
see you in the JM later!

[Cressida]

Happy Birthday Rev - you are always so lovely - help yourself to the communion wine. x

[katytc]

Lalalala……………
“I gave a letter to the postman,
he put it his sack.
Bright in early next morning,
he brought my letter back lalala return to sender” lalalala
On this very day 50 years ago Elvis was number one with “Return to Sender” also on this said day our esteemed and honourable RevCat was born…………
So Happy Birthday to you RevCat, have a wonderful day!!
Yahoo be dooby!!
Flags and balloons on benches, ali burgers and buns, Ben Nevis lookalike cake, lashings and lashings of the old glitterberry juice and table all decorated. We’re ready to go party xx

[Kayteeb53]

Pantivity sounds better than a Natto!
lots of lovely positive posts today - yippee! So pleased all good with PS Grumpy, that has to be a load off your mind.
Jelly, glad you home in the warm, enjoy Christmas and don't worry about the next stages.
Ali, a Christmas movie snuggled on the couch sounds wonderful.
JCJ and FF am keeping quiet!
off to see the ONC today, want to see what plans are for end of chemo.
Excited for party tonight. I may be late as it is my 42nd wedding anniversary today and we are going out for a meal at 6 tonight to a local pub.
have a great day - more PositiveThinking coming our way I hope
kay x

[Ali_H]

Hooray Jelly, well done!! Take it easy, once the GA wears off you'll feel much better, drink lots of water too. Rads was actually ok, certainly compared to everything else, so don't worry too much about that. Hope you're feeling ok this morning and not too sore.
Two old 'favourite' (not!) dreams last night, being stranded somewhere and not being able to work my phone - well, I can't work it when I'm awake so that's not a surprise.... And arranging a fashion show without any models. Oh, and a new one -trying to buy a red spiral bound notebook that kept morphing into other things I didn't want, and then trying to pay for it with money that kept changing to a lower denomination. So I've covered abandonment issues, techno phobia, work related stress, and a collapsing economy in just under three hours...why it had to be a red, spiral bound note book I don't know!
Pantivity sounds about right GIJane, especially considering all the talk about thongs, speedos and be-glittered bloomers 🙂
Am I allowed to sing Happy Birthday yet??????

[GIJaneH]

Morning all... so pleased Grumpy.... and Jelly...

You can't see it very well, but the dogs (aka sheep/lambs) are practising wearing tinsel for the performance.

My DD wondered if this was a nativity or a panto (having read some of ths posts to her) so I guess we're doing a "pantivity" ????

[jellytot83]

Hi Benchers,

I'm back from my surgery. Have had WLE, SNB & have one pesky drain in. Was I'm at 07h00 this morning, not admitted (with a very rumbling tum & dry mouth) at 15h30 & got home about 20h15. What a long day. Feel bizarrely awake but confuzzled at the same time. Dosed up on paracetamol at the mo as given no pain relief to take home. Follow-up appt on 28th Dec when they discuss results and if I'm to have rads to add to my chemo & surgery collection.
Hope I can be cherub like enough still for the panto

Jelly x

[grumpy]

PS hope no-one was eating while reading the above anatomical post!!!

[Ali_H]

Lol Grumpy I was typing at the same time as you! It sounds good doesn't it, very positive 🙂

[Ali_H]

Thank you for the reassurance about the dreams, if so many of you are having them too it means I'm not losing my marbles! Trying new tack tonight.... Ive spent today doing as many of the Christmas related jobs I can - wrapping and an entire mountain range of ironing, in case that was part of the stress. Tomorrow I'm going to do the food shopping list and spend some time with my son watching a Christmas film, so that's something to look forward to. Oh and rehearsing my dance routine for the panto 🙂 bet I dream about sparkly bloomers and incontinent lambs!!
Sssshhhhhh party, if I'm awake at 4am again I'll do some birthday baking...what do you think the birthday person would like? Did anyone watch the Paul Hollywood (please please please can we have him as production caterer!!!) and Mary Berry Christmas bake off programme tonight? Didn't those turkey left over rolls look delicious, must make some 🙂

[grumpy]

Evening all .....
Late post due to visiting god-daughter and famil;y after appt with PS - a darling of a man, thank goodness. He's measured, poked, lifted and demonstrated the likely effect of the minor surgery he would do for the nip and tuck and it sounds good. He doesn't seem worried about poor wound healing on a nuked boob which is super dooper. He will do a 'lollipop' i.e. a combination of a Benelli lift to re-site nipple and a bit of excavation below nipple to take out a bit of volume and stop skin stretching. He was so respectful and took time to explain it all in detail and reassure me that I'll have 2 boobs looking much more symetrical with minor scars. But hey what's a scar, mine have faded to 'creases' and anyhow every scar tells a story.....
Now it's REALLY stop the fags time, so blood will have plenty of oxygen. Probably not for 3-4 months, so back in the waiting room but CHEERFUL not
grumpy

[foxyferret]

Shhhhh!!! Stop shouting JCJ. We're trying to keep it quiet, it's a surprise. A certain Rev is having a birthday that has a '0' on it. Party's after the rehearsal tomorrow. Shhhh!!

[JCJ]

SURPRISE PARTY?? WHERE? WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS IT?

Each tablet of both Calcium and Cod Liver Oil contains 5 microgram Vit D (=100% RDA!). So even if I took the suggested 2 of each a day it'd only be 20 micrograms - well below the 1250 you mention, Q. I think I'll play safe though, by just taking ONE of each (currently only take 1 x CLO anyway) that way I'm only taking in what it says on the tin as regards VitD (typed VD there and thought ..........maybe not!! )

I bought the chewable Ca tabs, because they were cheaper. Bleurgh!! Yack! Ughhh! Big mistake. 😞 Perhaps I'll just eat more cheese. Now there's a plan.............where did I put those backwards weighing scales?? Where's the FB bench? Ah, yes, it's on my back, occupied by Mummy. OY! GIVE ME BACK THAT CHEESECAKE!

[foxyferret]

Gremlins yet again!

[supertrouper]

Hello everyone.....can I just whisper something very quietly in everyone's shell like ears......
It's a special someone's birthday tomorrow - do you think we should hold a surprise party?
shhhhhhh!!!!!

[foxyferret]

Yes, most definitely, surprise party after dress rehearsal everyone. Shhhhhhh!!!. Pass it on ......quietly.
I'll bring balloons, streamers and nibbles, if someone could come up with a cake that would be great. Shhhhh!!

[Quail]

Dr Wikipedia suggests that yes, Vitamin D is an oil-soluble vitamin and it IS possible to overdose on it (I think it's harder on the water soluble ones like Vitamin C):
"In healthy adults, sustained intake of more than 1250 micrograms/day (50,000 IU) can produce overt toxicity after several months"
Goodness, talk to the bcn or your gp, I'd say, although Health food store people could probably also advise you, or the chemist.
Relaxation, while nice, seemed a bit ephemeral, perhaps 'cause of bus ride home : ( So I'm just as stressed out as normal!
JCJ, nice of you to be womanning the bar, I'll have a large one, and maybe a mince pie or three. So delightful that we have a temporary branch of the JM set up here in Benchland for the Panto. I've decided that the "method acting" I am working on is a bit Mike-Leigh-esq and I should make up my lines as I go along, "feeling" the role of Daddy. I'm planning to watch a bit of footy while having several pints before the show to really get into the role. "Dammit, Mary, put the map away, I know EXACTLY where we're going..."

[foxyferret]

Dreams, yes me too. Very weird and wonderful and only since starting the Ta'poxy'fen.
It is possible to overdose on VitD (or any Vit) Cant tell you any dosages or symptom though so be careful JCJ.
Maybe investigate, your local health food shop should know.

[JCJ]

OMG!!! The performance is Friday!! That's only 3 days away! I'm not ready! I don't know my lines - (possibly brecause I have none, I'm a DONKEY?!) Gareth will be sooo cross with us; not to mention Bruno, and I don't suppose Dame Grumpy will ever speak to us again!

♫The Grand old Dame of York
She had 10,000 camels - or was it sheep? - or coats? or glitter? Oh help! I'm so confused.

It doesn't help that the menu bar (menu? bar? yes please!) has tipped upside down again and 'Latest Posts' is burried in the middle somewhere. 😞

I've been thinking of you today, Grumpy, and hoping your appointment with the ps went to your satisfaction. One more step along the road........?

[pargayan]

Sorry, OH heard about the chrismo panto and got over excited again. I have now thrown the offending speedos in the fire so he cannot reclaim them as he did when I threw them into the bin after the summer play, JCJ love the carols but cannot remember the words as no memory left anymore due to increasing my hours at work in the land of (possible) NED
Have been lurking due to not much energy for posting at the moment, but looking forward to seeing the grand performance, I bought my tickets a few days ago. Will try to keep OH under control but he does get carried away sometimes, especially when he is dreaming about running away from surgeons who were going to cut the top of his head off - and No, he is not on tapoxifen!!, he woke me up as his legs were moving so quickly I thought it was an earthquake!

I am on Letrozole now but did have a year on the dreaded tapoxifen and also stuggled with waking up 2 or 3 times a night. I was not so bad on Ltrozole until I started back at work so suspect as RC mentions it is also related to stress. Woke up the other night after a dream about the house being broken into and then spent an hour trying to sleep whilst my brain was thinking about what I would do to the intruders - suspect it is the unresolved anger at everything.
Anyway wishing you all good luck for Friday and if the world does end, at least you will make some of us happy beforehand, Merry chrismo to all xx

[JCJ]

Love teh singing santa + reindeers. Did wonder if the white reindeer was Clunk complete with thong! Brilliant carol BTW Clunk!

I didn't have chemo, but I DO get very vivid dreams, fortunately not very often, but I never used to before BC. I've been blaming Ta'poxy'fen and/or Zola'pest' - or just the lack of oestrogen?!

Last night I dreamed I killed OH (by putting Rennies (of all things!) in his drink!) I then tanned his skin to use as a table cloth. It was so 'real' I was terrrified when I woke up - thought the police would be coming for me!!

Onc suggested I take over-the-counter calcium to tackle my ridged, brittle nails. At the moment they look like I've chewed them all to below my finger ends. Not a good look. 😞 I went to buy some today, but could only find Calcium + vitamin D. I already take cod liver oil which also has vitamin D in. Anyone know if it's possible to OD on Vit D?

[Kayteeb53]

I always dream about travelling 'somewhere' and in my dreams I can never find my holiday clothes - I arrive at the airport/train station/ferry with no suitcase and I have to go home to fetch them. My dream gets more and more frantic as I try to find the clothes and get back in time to catch flight/train etc. I wake up exhausted. You are not alone Angik, Ali and Quail.
hope the relaxation is worth it when you get there Quail.
kay x

[Quail]

Hey, Angi, how are you with a glue pot and glitter? Turns out sparkly knickers are de rigueur for this performance, and these boxers I'm wearing as "Daddy" are huge!!!!
I've had odd dreams since I went through menopause about fifteen years ago--I've seen the inside of more bus/train stations and airports between dusk and dawn than ever in real life. It drives me crazy, but I've got used to it as the years go by. While I was on chemo it was especially bad, but it's calmed down a bit since. Just one more delightful se of the BC. Who could believe our list of minor complaints, aches and pains could be so long--or so boring. I know just what you mean, Ali-- I can tell that people think I should be counting my blessings instead of moaning!
Jane that was a hoot. Not a patch on our efforts, though.
Better run--I've got that cursed "relaxation" treatment today--an hour ride on the bus each way, by the time I get home, instead of relaxed I'm usually foaming at the mouth!! What was I thinking?
Mwah, mwah and hugs to all you Lovies,
Q

[Guest user]

love dropping by this thread if my mood is slightly low always on a high when I leave here you ladies do make me laugh maybe I should just take up permanent residency here .
Hugs to all Angi xxx

[Ali_H]

RevCat yes, I'm sure you're right. I'd like to tell my brain "yes, I bl**dy know ok, I'm stressed! Let me sleep..." but it's not listening. It's a vicious circle too, being tired, not sleeping, vivid dreaming when you do, waking tired, knowing you'll have another broken night, being tired.... It's the things that seem really small and insignificant that can have a big impact, I mean - compared to all the cr*p that a dx of BC brings it seems so trivial to be complaining about weird dreams! But 'little' (to my non BC friends) things like the chemo constipation for example can really make you feel low. Ah well, in four years and nine months I'll have finished Tam! Yay, sleep..perchance to not dream for a change

[RevCat]

Oh Ali, that's horrible, horrible, horrible. And yet some of it is vaguely familiar from my own post-chemo phase. Sounds like some fairly classic 'stress dream' stuff ging on, mixed with kn*ckeration and nightsweats. What is about 4 a.m. awakenings and Tam induced insomnia? When is some oncologist going to do the research???

[Ali_H]

mr Clunk, that's lovely, made me cry (but then again what doesn't at the moment?). Thank you 🙂
Anybody got any advice for dreams??? Mine have always been vivid but they are getting extreme, I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep....usually I can make some sort of sense of them but heaven alone knows what my brain is trying to tell me at the moment. My legs not working and having to crawl home - yes, I understand that one on all it's levels but the one where the bedrooms been rearranged so the mattress gets soaked whenever I use the shower???? Or wanting an island unit in the kitchen with a pull out table, and the kitchen shop being in the middle of a forested war zone?? And why did my husband so desperately want a plate warmer? And my much-missed father in law (passed away 3 years ago) sat in the kitchen shop drinking coffee which he hated, in a blue shirt?? And those are just the dreams since my usual 4am insomnia patch....

[RevCat]

Clunk that's amazing ... poignant and funny and wise and lovely. Thank you. Best to Mrs Clunk too.

Loved the videoclip Jane. Not a patch on our endeavours though.

Just thought I ought to point out that Shepherd whatever-number-I-am will not be wearing a thong, It would not go with one's clerical collar now would it? (And might get reported to the equivalent of a bishop...) Plus when Tam is sending one to more of the Geraldine Grainger (Dawn French) physique, frankly it would be too terrifying fot the audiecne. Bridget Jones knickers, suitably be-blinged worn underneath full-length flowing sherpherd outfit.

[katytc]

Giggled at your clip Jane, think we will def be better?? Well, we will be more colorful................
Very poignant, Clunk. xx

[GIJaneH]

wonderful.....
that's all..

wonderful...

[clunkshift]

A BC carol

I’m dreaming of a white bismuth,
Just like that gloop that makes you glow,
Where the Cat Scan glistens and patient listens
as through the ring we quickly go

I’m dreaming of a white bismuth,
With every cannula I feel,
As the FEC is pumped in, I’m like a pumpkin
This hair loss surely can’t be real?

I’m dreaming of a white bismuth,
With each rad fraction I receive
May Herceptin be kinder and no reminder
Remain like my compression sleeve

I’m dreaming of a bright Christmas
And all our feelings understood
May your sleep be flush-free and cool
And may all your outcomes be good

[GIJaneH]

we've got a little competition http://gpsinformation.info/main/merryxmas.swf not much, mind...

[clunkshift]

Katytc, I should have realised that you are the big M but your cushion lump is supposed to be stuffed up the front – not the back, no wonder I thought you were a camel. I’m sure you’ll be all right on the night though.

JCJ, I know just what you mean about feeling close to Limpo Dreamer, I only had a partial node clearance and I had a three month delay between chemo and rads while I tried growing a new breast. Sadly it turned out to be an abscess and took an op under general anaesthetic and eight weeks to heal up before I was considered fit enough for zapping. But, during that time I was blissfully free of firm arm, thick wrist and concrete encased shoulder, then they fried my remaining nodes and I have permanent symptoms as above, including a shoulder-blade that feels like I should be auditioning for The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Don’t fret too much though, I fell off an off-road motorbike and grazed it very deeply on forearm and elbow and Mrs Clunk has banned me from chopping firewood after I hit my index finger knuckle with the chopper. Disaster didn’t follow but I do wear a thick glove in the garden. I do have a very fetching compression sleeve but I don’t use it as I reckon it would only inflate my shoulder…

Ah the afterglow. Ali I can heat pasties in my armpit, so if the 3^rd shepherd is standing like a little teapot, it’s just a futile attempt to get some airflow though the hot bit.

Does the fruit punch cover my 5-a-day?

I really think a thong helps shape the arias as long as it doesn’t become a wedgie and squeeze out a falsetto. Must go and gargle now, I’m using a barcardi gargle but can’t seem to spit it out.

[GIJaneH]

been laughing out loud, and brought DD out of her room to see if it was the rehearsal!!!! Her (lamb) aka innocent looking dog, pulled at the table cloth tonight and smashed one of OH's coffee mugs (part of a set he was given), so I have NO hope that he'll behave himself round Clunk's neck, but it could be entertaining to see where he goes/what he gets up to!

My christmas cake is pretty alcoholic - soak the fruit in brandy for a WEEK, and then "feed it" once it's cooked ... for several weeks... tastes very good, I must say..... and full of fibre!

[foxyferret]

Oh, that sounds good. I'll partake of anything alcoholic but definitely AFTER the performance.(Don't worry Grumpy!)
Possibly drop the cranberries and lime and add a bit more alcohol??
Third cake? I've not even made one!!

[Kayteeb53]

Absolutely Ali, as we all know ' fruit is good for you, it contains virtually no calories and is healthy'. So I have decided to make fruit punch for the panto
ingredients
brandy (grapes)
orange vodka (speaks for itself)
prosecco (more grapes)
cranberry juice (very healthy)
lime (vitamin C)
hope you will all partake to make us feel a lot healthier (or make us think f@@k it)
is it lacking in anything?
JM later after I get my third Xmas cake out of the over (no icing on this one as OH doesn't like it)
kay x

[foxyferret]

Great - I had my five a day without realising it! Must have some more..........

[Ali_H]

Ah but foxy it had fruit in it, and therefor it's good for you 🙂

[foxyferret]

JCJ - glad your appt. went well and hope Lyn Fodema stays away. Sausage, egg and chips, my favourite, I'm on my way over .

Well I've just got in from work and read the last ten or so posts and am laughing my head off.
Thanks very much to Kay and Ali for the help with my costume, it now looks FAB-U-LOUS but please stop now as it's getting rather heavy. I don't want to put it on and be unable to move.
Ali - the Christmas pudding vodka was a very good idea but maybe the sixth and seventh ones weren't!??

Mr. Clunk don't worry, you're perfectly safe from me. My kidnapping days are over. I didn't get it right somehow...shouldn't I have asked for a ransom?

[vercors]

Dear Dame Grumpy,
I hope this frog in a box is to you very high standard. I promised I won't sing.

[Ali_H]

JCJ I'd say it's end of term fatigue. I was going to work through till Wednesday but I'm out of spoons and running on empty, so I've finished today and feel relieved to be honest. Maybe go see the lympho nurse in the new year when you've got some energy back? You do sound tired xxxx
Oooh egg n chips, yum.......
Thong. Ah well, at least it's not a snowman posing pouch.....please share the spray tan with glittery bits, the only bit of me with any colour is the rads afterglow