stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

[Wendy56]

I am now sitting on the very positive bench waiting for this lovely show to begin looking forward to seeing you all strut your stuff.

Hope nobody in this lovely audience has a cold or any other vile bug. where's the bar ?

Wendy x x

[RevCat]

Wendy I will put myself in a NBC suit so the vile bugs invading my nose/throat can't get out, that way you should be OK... I think Benchland is a germ free zone anyway.... I will keep my distance from everyone and just flush away in the back row of the chorus...


And now the edit gremlins are at it again...

[RevCat]

I have the red nose without the communion wine or the glitterberry juice (it was Jane wot got giggly, not me, wrong rev) as I have succombed to the season rhino-virus aka cold. Soo glad I'm not needing to avoid infections this year. Anyways, shepherd number large number will be wearing a mask to contain the sneezes and nasty bugs. Also if you spot a flushing soldier who alternately shivers and flushes, that's me.

♪ ♫ ♫ Oh the sniffle sniffly troops
They cough cough cough cough sneeze,
And flush shiver flush shiver shflush fliver splosh!
Achoo achoo achoo!! ♫ ♫ ♪

Jelly so glad that drain is out, hope you stay free of seroma (who was my 'not friend' for a few weeks).

Ooh, look everything is about to get going, shhhh, shhhh, shhhh!

[foxyferret]

At least I'm trying to disguise my alcohol consumption in coffee cups!!
Now just steady on everyone, we want this pantivity to be a success don't we? Not a disaster. We can all drink ourselves silly afterwards. The fruit punch sounds good now that all the fruit has been removed!!

[foxyferret]

I've got here, floodwaters have receded. I'm as ready as I'll ever be but soooo nervous. I'm just having a coffee, promise there's no whisky in it Grumpy.....well only a little drop!
I don't think there'll be a dry eye in the house tonight. The juxtaposition between the slapstick at the start, (please everyone keep your feet, hooves or skates firmly on the escalator!) and the beautiful ending of the Christmas story will get to everyone.
Grumpy I seem to remember you said never again after the last panto in summer!!

[jellytot83]

Well as I'm an Angel I've only been at the (Gin & the) Communion Wine, sssh don't tell Rev....

Ali the red nosed camel sounds perfectly fine to me!

[Ali_H]

Lol Grumpy - too late, way way WAY too late!!! Me n Jelly are sinking the gin and playing with baubles, you can't get at my remaining nip cause I'm in my camel costume already so we've improvised....well if Rudolph can have a lovely big red shiny nose why can't a camel?? Lovely shiny bauble, held on with blu tack. It's tasteful, honest....

[Quail]

Oh, go ahead, Jane, I'll have a tiny one! What about you FF? I see Jelly pouring something into Kay's glass, so they're taken care of, and what's that bulge in Clunk's thong? Looks like a flask to me! Thank goodness RevCat's sticking to th' glitterjuice, hope she doesn't get giggly again.

[supertrouper]

NO ALCOHOL BEFORE THE SHOW????????

Somethings not right in that sentence - I think there are too many words in it. I'll remove the shortest one.

ALCOHOL BEFORE THE SHOW!!!!!

That looks better! And would appear to be an instruction.........
Right, I'm off the the woods to open up the bar - pre pantivity drinks anyone?????

[clunkshift]

just rushing in to stop the lambs drinking the wine and leaving a tap running so "my" lamb wees itself out.
I'd just like to add Ms Grumpy, that should you hear any calumnies about me jostling Joseph and flashing Mary in the dressing room. It's very crowded in there and one of the solidiers stepped on the back of my sandalcausing me to stumble against Joseph and as stumbled, the soldier grabbed my cloak which pulled open just as mery turned round.
I have not beenat the sherry and all will be well for the performance as joseph has a bag of frozen peas on his nose and mary has stopped hyperventilating now.
I'll just go and practice my lines...

[grumpy]

NO, NO, NO - NO ALCOHOL BEFORE THE SHOW, ONLY AFTERWARDS!!!!!
The words never again are floating round in my brain............
grumpy

[GIJaneH]

Just rushing in to say lambs are ready... sheep are ready.... Very nervous... drinking wine.... how "wise" is that??

go for it ladies! (and camels and donkeys and....)

[Kayteeb53]

How fabulous we all are. Couldn't compete with your new BFF ( although I still feel a few solar lights could add something) Dame Grumpy.
Been stocking up my sewing box/toolbox. Spare bulbs, Wundaweb, safety pins,Sellotape , wd40 (for creaky joints), alcohol ( for those that are past caring). Yep think I'm ready. My tea towel is clean for shepherd costume, borrowed daughters 2 rabbits as could not persuade Rio the Labrador to dress up as a sheep.
Fruit punch made ( have removed the cranberry juice and lime and replaced with gin due to popular request.
Just going to have a spray tan, back soon
Kay x

[jellytot83]

Lol, I might hang a bauble off my nip instead 😉 x

[Ali_H]

Ah Jelly, I was going to bling it up for you with tinsel and glitter to make it really special.... 😉

[jellytot83]

My drain is out woohoo woohoo woohoo 🙂 x

[Quail]

What a perfect dress, DG. Much better than the black I was imagining. And so nice for your BFF Helen to loan it to you, after all, what are friends for?
I've finally finished my knickers, ready for tonight. I hate to cover them up with my bathrobe, so I may leave it open. What a great look, especially after all the Christmas cake I've been eating! I'm VERY excited, but certain it will go well. I may skip the before-show alcohol--it didn't seem to help at the last rehearsal. Mwah, mwah-- break a leg everyone!!!

[JCJ]

LOVING the sparkly, spangly number, as befits a Dame, Grumpy.

I'm on the totally kn***ered bench having just finished a Loooooong term with over excited children, at least half of whom are not very well - colds and tummy bug(ger)s. Most of the staff have been struggling this week too. I'll probably get it just in time for Christmas - usually do! 😞

Must get ready for the grand performance. Must get ready..... must get ready........... must........snzzzzz

[grumpy]

Hello everyone - Dame H**** has lent me a frock for tonight!!!!
HURRAY

grumpy

[jellytot83]

What time are we putting on the pantivity - sorry am a bit lost! x

[RevCat]

Getting ready for the BIG NIGHT - should be working, oops!

Anyone else noticed that the number of forum pages is slowly but surely going down? Having peaked at a little over 300 it is now down to about 270-something. Do you think the techies are feeding some of the old stuff to the aligators? How super splendidly fat thay will be when we make more ali-burgers!!

Right, come along woman... work. work

[Quail]

Pantivity!!!! HOORAY
Round up all the guilt, get off the CBA benches ladies and gentleman, dogs and cats, THE SHOW must go on.
The excitement mounts!!!!
Wendy, pull up an bench and prepare to be amazed (a little first-aide glitter won't come amiss, either) We've got tea and pies today to spare!
Hope the weather isn't too grim everywhere. I'm trying to get the energy to decorate the tree. OH mysteriously disappeared about the time the lights came out. Hmmmm.
See you backstage.

[katytc]

All of a dither, away to have a house full kettle boiled, cakes out, all tidied running round in circles all morning!!
Unexpected daughter visit at 9 this morning, have no idea where I am or what I'm doing?.............sound familiar..... Pantivity this evening yahoo be dooby/booby!! xx

[Kayteeb53]

Hi foxy, you are right. We are lucky. Our little grandsons was on Tuesday and the older one's was today. Both had 2 performances so we were able to go to both. Absolutely priceless. They staged it as the X Factor and my grandson played Dermots role. The judges had to choose and one of the contestants was Mary - it was all performed as a mime after that - it really brought a lump to your throat.
I have not told I'm about my role as No 1 shepherd in our Pantivity, didn't want to steal his thunder!
Wendy, hope you are feeling better. Find yourself a bench and name it according to how you feel! Or share with someone (trouble shared and all that). JCJ has described them very well.
Take care all you brave and strong ladies (and any men). We are absolutely fabulous!
Kay x

[katytc]

FF my children were at a very small school approx 30 pupils and everyone was invited, they staged it over 2 nights, seems very cruel, as you say these moments are priceless xx

[foxyferret]

Wendy - anywhere/everyone in Benchland will give you TLC, we're all here for you with cups of tea, or glasses of something stronger and lots of cake. Yes, lots of cake! Or anything that you need. Hope the painkillers work their magic.
Kay, you're lucky to have seen your grandson's play. My two grandsons attend a small village school and the audience for their school nativity was restricted to parents only. I feel really cheated. Some moments are priceless and I couldn't be there.

[Wendy56]

You are all so lovely and this thread really makes me laugh! I thought when I first read it you had all gone stark raving mad - which is not a surprising really is it. i We are all in this rocky boat together and somewhere down deep I will have a sense of humour just need to find in again soon.

X X X

[katytc]

Kay, know exactly what you mean, shed buckets last year at GD's first nativity play, this year they went to see a Panto, oh no they didn't oh yes they did?? Am so glad cause still wouldn't be able to control myself boo hoo! Was it a Pantivity and did you tell him you had a starring role too??
Wendy, we have comfy sofas and a ding a ling bell which you can ring if you need anything, but you can also make up anything you want to, whenever you want sending hugs to you.
Ali, are you having a party? or is it all for tomorrow night?? xx

[JCJ]

Sit on the TLC bench, Wendy, and we'll bring tea, cake (or beverages/comestibles of preference!) and hugs. Thwacking ladles are availabe to batter any bu**er that pi**es you off (including other sweary Benchlanders? ) I empathise with your back pain. Miserable isn't it?

RevCat has stocked up the freshly ironed lace hankies, but there are also tissues and bins by every bench, in case you suddenly find yourself caught short, too far from the CSL (crazy sobbing lady) bench.

Or there's the Feeling Sorry For Myself Bench - that's very popular too, so you are bound to have competition - sorry I think I mean company - there.

Don't feel guilty for feeling down either. Throw that guilt to the alligators in the lake - (currently caged as the wranglers have locked them up for the duration of the Pantivity - don't want the 'special baby' to end up as a tasty snack??) The more guilt the alligators consume the fatter and more delicious will be the alliburgers at the next Benchland party/bonfire/any-excuse-for-food-and-drink.

Great birthday pressie RevCat - a 'normal' gynae result! Oh how our perspectives have changed?! 🙂

[Kayteeb53]

Hi all
room on the bench for one more?
i would like a cuppa and a mince pie please. Been to grandsons school play this afternoon, was really lovely, gulp, sniff.
love and hugs to all who need it (most of us I guess)
kay x

[Wendy56]

Feeling a bit down tonight where do you go in Benchland for a bit of TLC this is so hard !

to top everything I have pulled a muscle in my back today and can hardly walk. Will be ok in an hour when my husbands strong painkillers start working then probably as high as a kite

Wendy

[Ali_H]

Katy, just some Brussels and some oranges and some nuts and some glitterberry juice and some bacon and some fish and.....well, a whopping great trolley full!

[katytc]

Thank you for the company RevCat, friend has no idea I know, just have to take it as it comes, everyone is different and have to respect her wishes. Wonderful news for you, yippppppppppee!
Ali thank you for the tea, what did you buy???
Jelly hope your drain is out soon.
FF hope you are ok, such a bad weather day.
Beginning to feel very nervous about tomorrow night............everything will be ok, won't it?? xx

[Ali_H]

It'll be out soon.... I was extremely lucky and didn't need one after my mx, but my friend had one and it drove her potty. You're nearly there now though Jelly, just a bit longer and it'll be out 🙂

[JCJ]

It won't be long, Jelly 'til the drain's out (it just feels like it!)- and it's probably better than seroma! ♫ MY Seroma♫ Take it steady, you WILL get there!

Just been to the pub for our staff 'do'. We go straight from school at 3.30pm as several members of staff live a long way away. The bar was serving glitterberry juice! Really! I would have had one in your honour Ladies (and gent), but I only saw it AFTER I'd ordered my boring orange and lemonade.

Food was nice, and even better, I'm back home already, with my slippers on, and another thing ticked off the 'to do' list. One more day to stagger through tomorrow then 2 whole weeks of no get ups! 🙂 Staff andf children are dropping like flies with stomach bug and/or flu, so what's the betting I'll have it over Christmas?

[jellytot83]

Thanks for the plumping and tea Ali 🙂 I'm doing okay, good movement just a bit restricted by the blasted drain, can't wait for it to come out! x

[Ali_H]

Hi all, just back from spending a small fortune on food at the supermarket. Katy, Jelly, two nice big mugs of tea for you, and a quick plump of your cushions to make sure you both feel comfy (and hopefully comforted). Foxy you be careful in that weather, I am not doing the pantivity without you so don't get stranded anywhere!! Great news RevCat, so pleased, must be a relief 🙂
Yes please, I'd love a mince pie! The kettles on if any Benchies fancy a cuppa, it's a bit dark in here what with us all admiring the twinkly lights on the festive bench so I'm sorry if I missed anyone.....

[foxyferret]

Great news about the gynae results RevCat!
I'll have a mince pie please. Weather is also dreadful down here. Floods everywhere again, couldn't get to school this afternoon. Will try again tomorrow........fingers crossed.

[RevCat]

Budge up Katy I'll come and sit with you for a little while... not cos I'm teary, I'm not, I'm happy cos my gynae results were "normal" but because a bit of solidarity never goes amiss. So sorry to hear about your friend and really hope she opens up once she's come to terms with her news. HORRID weather in Glasgow, never been properly light all day just rain, rain and more rain 😞

Who's for a mince pie - we have loads here, freshly warmed and super scrummy!

Big hugs to everyone who needs them.

[katytc]

Torrential rain, wind and it's freezing cold!! Have been on the "CBA" bench ALL morning. Just staying in Benchland today a little skateboarding, learning lines and general pottering around.........
Sat for a while on the "teary" bench as found out yesterday that a friend is having chemo again, she doesn't want to talk about it and no one knows apart from close family and me, she helped me when I had my diagnosis so feel sad and helpless at the moment. Can't contact her because her views are so strong. xx

[RevCat]

Thanks all for your birthday greetings. Fabulous pantivity party - I won't forget that in a hurry!

Friday will be perfect - I am sooo excited I can hardly wait. Will bring lashings of ginger beer, glitterberry juice etc for the after party. Have ordered some extra-large boxes of energy spoons cos i think we'll need them (oh, and a thwacking ladle for Dame Grumpy in case of need 🙂 ) Also extra soft lace hankies for the fans (whether hanging from the fans or in the VIP seating with Mrs Clunk 'n' all) cos they are bound to weep buckets at the end.

Gotta go our into soggy wet Land of NED and do some w*rk!! Catch you later.

[jellytot83]

Okay thanks Ali, hate this blasted drain tho! X

[Ali_H]

Hi Jelly, how are you feeling now?

[jellytot83]

Happy Birthday Rev, hope you had a fab one xx

[Quail]

Well, that were a right laugh now, weren't it?
Thank goodness we didn't use that real baby we talked about using. And I thought my back was bad before, that trip down the escalator, "what a trip!"
Grumpy I predict triumph all round!
Happy Pantivity Birthday Revcat. We salute you here in Benchland!!!!

[Ali_H]

Ah Clunk that explains it! I was so taken aback by the appearance of a new, mystery animal I missed my cue...and got an attack of the giggles, which set my hump all a-wobble....and that was probably when my wise woman fell off and knocked over the donkey, who unfortunately trod on the daddy's foot....interesting choice of swear words there daddy, not heard that combination before, well done...if only someone could have caught the baby I think we might have got away with it. Well, Happy birthday RevCat - I suspect you won't forget this pantivity birthday party in a hurry!

[clunkshift]

Phew, I think I've given Flavia the slip now, That lamb's pee really turns her on for some reason and the high tango kicks with the stillettos can be very dangerous - and Flavia's heels were just as bad!
Anyway, due to the sabotage of someone pumping the lambs full of liquid (GIJane I suppose) I shall not wear the spray tan and thong for the real curtain up as I just ended up looking like a dirty zebra.
And yes, the Chocolate cake was terrific, well what remained after the undignified scrum of wise men and camels trying to beat Mary and Joseph to it - peace on earth? a little peace around the refreshments wouldn't go amiss, my poor duck was knocked off my shoulder twice by "angelic" elbows. I shall be sharpening the end of my crook ready for next time.
Still, the show must go on and surprisingly the Pantivity actually went quite well (singing possibly excepted).
Happy Birthday. Normally I would say many happy returns RevCat, but maybe I could wish you a less rowdy time for your next birthday party.

[JCJ]

Nom nom mom. Cake. Thanks for rescuing me FF. Fruit punch? I won't say no.:)

[grumpy]

I shall put lamb chops on the barbie at the last night party if that wretched lambkin pees again on stage!!!!
Too knackered to write cooments just now, in a state of shock and despair......
At least the crew got all the technical stuff to work properly. Could the spray tan puddles be mopped up from the stage pronto?it looks a right mess.....
Bruno looked more cheerfull but Gareth has gone a funny colour.IT WILL BE ALRIGHT ON THE NIGHT..I HOPE
Anyhow I've got my frock sorted but it's a surprise until THE PRODUCTION
Everyone is allowed to go to the bar....
Friday - everyone in the green room for 7pm ready for curtain up at 8pm - don't be late or I shall have to SHOUT
grumpy

[foxyferret]

Help has arrived JCJ ,sorry we didn't notice your plight sooner .....grab my arm....yes, and ....heave .... that's got you free! Just sit down on this chair, catch your breath, and I'll bring you a restorative drink and a large slice of chocolate cake.
We did wnder where you were and saved you a slice.