stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

[Ali_H]

Ps , mods- this new font looks very nice on my iPad 🙂

[Ali_H]

I didn't bump the roller, 'twas the camels! Anyway it's all sorted, I've ordered milady a Bugatti Veyron, she saw it on Top Gear and thinks Mr Clarkson is a very nice chap.

Costume- one camel coloured very nice new scarf, tick. Biggles-style goggles, tick. Very smart dark navy suit, tick. Peaked chauffeurs cap, tick. Shoes so shiny you can see your reflection in them, tick. Selection of bumper stickers (milady'll never notice) in varying degrees of bad taste, tick. Neon pink fluffy dice, Buddha air freshener, nodding dog, tick tick tick!!! All set 🙂

[katytc]

Hee hee hee Ali, it was all because you bumped Blanche's Rolls, she has such power............
ann, am not giving Hump back until teatime! xx

[Ali_H]

What on earth happened there? Several attempts to log in, 'access denied' every time....send out my SOS and I'm in. Marbles, gone. Phew.....was a nasty moment!
Hello Mrs Jelly!!!!
Oh no Revcat, hope appointment comes through quickly.....

[Ali_H]

Help it's Ali_H and I can't log in!

[katytc]

No one playing Edwin so may just have to improvise, one minute Eleanor, next minute Edwin mmmmmmmm!
What about Miss Sparkle?????
Blanche looks as though she means business! A little scary! She always used to frighten me when we were kids, maybe karma will catch up with her soon.
And isn't Milton rakish?
Have just been galloping around the Norcambe Pyramid practising my lines..........

Welcome back Mrs Jelly, woo hoo!!
Oh RevCat, hope your appointment is very soon, you did have your suspicions, big hugs to you xx
Am now plaster free! Toe and side of foot swollen says will take around 3 months to calm down! Have to keep wearing shoe, keep foot elevated. Will be walking with tri walker for ages.........
Managed to get appointment to have a chat about Lynn, feel as though we're going truncal............
See you tonight 7 pm, who's arranging props etc???!

[Ann_W]

Katytc have just seen the photo of you on Hump. Please will you return him cos the camels are the only transport the PC Plods ( Temp & Ann_W) have and dink is missing her mate and cant learn her lines for tomorrow without him. Thank you

[RevCat]

Hello Jelly, lovley to see you again - hope married life is superly duperly wonderful.

Just been dusting off the gynae waiting bench... return of the PMB means starting down that path again 😞 GP is sending urgent referral so we'll see if they can get it in under 8 weeks this time... Fedupski but I know it's no big deal really.

PS is it me or did all the fonts on here change and shrink whilst the site was down this morning? Flippin' alligators up to mischief again!

[benedictus]

Rakish get-up here: brogues, corduroy, monocle, one of those spivy moustaches, cigar and port - yes I know it's only 11.30am and, no I don't care. Just bring me the bl**dy port. And sharpish. Now, where's my photo gone.....

[CanonJane]

There's a part left for you MrsJelly, only I can't remember who/what!!! Nothing much changes!
In character

Many of you haven't seen me for a while.... I thought I'd remind you of why it would be in your own best interests to attend tonight....

J

[Guest user]

Mrs Jelly, welcome back and glad your treatment's finished! Yes, rehearsals begin in earnest - or more like chaos! - tomorrow at 7pm sharp. The play is called Murder at the Madlands Hotel, Norcambe (I think!)
The pic is of me as Milton de Witte, getting costume together.

[JCJ]

Welcome back Mrs Jelly and congratulations on your Mrsness! I hope you had a fab wedding and honeymoon?

We are in the middle of rehearsals for a murder mystery set in Norecambe - because 8 of us crossed the divide from virtual to real and met up for 2 days in Morecambe. The others joined in virtually ! We had chips in tiaras (us, not the chips) and posh afternoon tea and cavorted with Eric on the prom for willing photographers. The camels came too and disturbed the guests at the Travelodge by setting off a neighbouring burglar alarm at 1 am and playing about on the stairs.

[supertrouper]

Presenting - Miss Delia Sparkle

[JCJ]

I'm going to wear a smart trouser suit AND a skirt and tw1inset. Not because I think it looks good, or is fashionable, but because Flora can't decide which to wear and the sartorial chaos will detract from the complete lack of comprehension of the plot/my lines!

[jellytot83]

Hello Benchies,
it's jelly 🙂 I'm now Mrs Jelly!
Finished treatment now other than tapoxyfen so had a little break from all things BC for a while but have missed you all too much to stay away forever.
Can someone summarise the goss?
jelly xx

[grumpy]

Do not forget COSTUMES for rehearsals tomorrow. You will NOT be in the play IF you look wrong !!!!
(chuckles with wicked glee as Benchies rush round charity shops, get boxes out of lofts, borrow stuff without asking, crank up sewing machines ext etc)
I am getting into my stride now I.e. SHOUTY.....
The Dame
PS Dame Helen is kindly sorting out a frock for me.

[Guest user]

All together now - 'Bring me sunshine in your smile, bring me laughter all the while..! Yes, Ali, photo with Eric taken on the seafront at the MMU.

[Ali_H]

Jenanne, who's arm are you tucked into in your avatar? Is it from the MMU, in which case it's Eric??

[Guest user]

Will Edwin Le Feuvre be there - is anyone playing his part?

[CanonJane]

move over Dame!!!
No idea what's going on....

"you will all kindly present yo urselves chez moi at 7pm tomorrow evening. Please be there promptly, as i have an announcement to make, which will be of interest to you all."

My other character is lost for words... making eyes at the camels...

[grumpy]

Got to go to the shop for some glitterberry juice to keep my strength up for all this madness...... (sobs quietly on the sofa)

the Dame

[Ali_H]

Apart from the odd sausage sarnie Jenanne, yes. Oh, and they like bacon butties. Fishfinger sandwiches too. But apart from that, very vegetarian. Just don't mention Bambi, they're still traumatised by that scene with the huntsman and Bambi's mother.

[Guest user]

Hump and Dink HORRIFIED to hear of venison casserole eating, being strict cud-chewing vegetarians themselves!

[Ali_H]

(ooh Katy, doesn't Hump look handsome? And you so ladylike, with the famous Norcambe Pyramid in the background!)

As Whatsisname - 'good news milady, the camels weren't hurt. Bad news milady, the car was'

[JCJ]

wish I could control the font size on this thing - constantly either whispering or SHOUTING!!

[JCJ]

May have been wrong, but it was definitely delicious! 😄

[JCJ]

Struggling to keep up on my phone with only 1G signal.When is the rehearsal, or have I missed it? I don't know my lines or cues but I suppose that's ok 'cause it'll just look like Flora (IS that my name? Can't remember!) dithering.

Went to a red deer park today and got up close to some deer (warden gave us food for them!) Then we came back to the cottage and I cooked venison casserole (from a tin. From a posh supermarket!) for dinner. Was that VERY wrong? 😛

[foxyferret]

As Olive - I'm sorry I keep sniffing. It's hayfever and I've run out of anti-histamine tablets. I will get some as soon as this shift is over. Very few people in for lunch today, tips not good, apart from jenanne, wish some Americans would book in but why would Americans want to come to Norcambe?

As Minnie - "You want me to pack your shorts and bra top ma'am?!!" ( You're far too old and wrinkly to be wearing those!).............. "Of course you can wear them ma'am, you have a wonderful figure" (No, you haven't but if I say anything else I'll be sacked). I AM going to go to work for Lady Susan, I will resign from this awful job after the Norcambe holiday, at least I'll get a few hours off to enjoy a camel ride at the seaside.

As FF - is this really me? Getting confused with all these characters. Daughter and I went shopping today, only food nothing exciting but it was nice to see her. A new brand supermarket has opened in our area so we went to check it out. MMU came up in conversation and she is pleased that I've met like-minded people so I told her about the play and that I've got three parts. Mistake....I got "the look" again. I won't go into detail again!

[katytc]

Sorry Ali borrowed Hump for a quick tour of Norcambe xx

[Ali_H]

Shall I ask the camels to return the car milady?

[grumpy]

Directing rehearsals tomorrow??? Me?????
I haven't a flipping clue what's going on!!!!
Perhaps everyone could turn up in costume OR with ideas/sketches of what they would like to wear.
Now where's the dog, the glue and the tiara......

Dame Grumpy

[Guest user]

I gave Olive the waitress a big tip after breakfast - excellent service...lovely girl. She was sniffing a lot however - p'raps someone's upset her?

[Guest user]

Ah, Blanche's young sister, Eleanor Le Feuvre...attractive woman...too sharp for my tastes though - bit of a shrew to her husband Edwin. Really can't imagine why, seems an OK guy to me.

[Ali_H]

Shall I get the car out milady?
Shall I get the camels out of the car milady?

[katytc]

Archie, really?? Do you not have duties? Gazing at the sky? Will def have a word with Blanche! She'll soon sort you out, you cheery chap!
WHO does Blanche think she is? Summoning us all to Norcambe of all places, she's soooo tiresome..........just cause she has oodles of dosh and we are all in her will...........
Have lots of dosh myself due to the fact that my husband, Edwin invested in stocks and shares using my vast inheritence, he is a pretty hopeless individual but has always been super, duper with figures.
Have to say am also fed up of her (Blanche) making doe eyes to her paramour Milton De Witte (have heard the rumours, he's engaged to mega rich Daphne, new money bah)
Well I suppose we'all find out tomorrow what exactly she's up to????
Can someone please have a word with Olive?? Her nose keeps running and she keeps sniffing, sooooooooo distracting.

Rehearsals 7.00pm sharp tomorrow evening, Dame Grumpy in control, oh help xx

[Ali_H]

I've been sky watching for the perseids, amazing!

[JCJ]

• Plain and dithery???? How DARE you? Just because I don't flaunt myself like some young madam I could mention or my mutton-dressed-as-lamb sister-in,-law, and I like to be sure about things. There's no need to be so rude. Keep your hands off my daughter. You're old enough to be her father! It's disgusting!!

[CanonJane]

I did NOT lose any money on the stock market young lady! I cannot answer for that idiot of a man, but never, repeat never, under-estimate me....

so glad someone else explained the camels..... Oh saw a new glass in the cupboard on my return from mmu...where's that glass from? "It's a glitterbury juice glass". "Oh" Nothing else, just "oh". Didn't go there with the camels....

feeling off after op perfectly reasonable/normal... Being gentle with ourselves and our expectations is a learning .....

big hugs being dispensed near csl bench

jane xx

[Guest user]

Blanche, magnificent woman! She has been most generous - gave me these amazing diamond cufflinks for my birthday and whispered that she has another secret gift for me!! Her brother Chester gave me the filthiest look - really can't imagine why! His wife's a bit plain and dithery, but Charlotte Rose... now she's a very sweet girl!

[JCJ]

Hugs to Z and MMM (as in Milly molly M, not MADLANDS Murder Mystery - so confusing!) I've left a HUGE pile of freshly laundered lace hankies by the CSL (crazy sobbing lady) bench. Help yourselves. Have a good cry. You'll soon feel better. SO Flora is Chester's wife, Blanche's brother AND Charlotte Rose's mum. That's clever of me. I do think Blanche was very silly to lose all that stock on the money market... Or was it Chester losing money on the Stock market, I always get so confused. Don't keep shouting at me like that!

[foxyferret]

Zuleika, anything you feel is normal, we all go through the whole gamut of emotions. Hugs to you, hope you feel better soon and get rid of the drain quickly.
Camels- short explanation - in the real world two went missing in France, Ali was on holiday there at the time so we pretended (as we do) that she had kidnapped them and brought them back to Benchland. We tried to make her return them on her next holiday there, that didn't work out and they seem to have settled down very well here and join in all our capers.

As Olive - is everything all right? Would you like more tea? No butter? I'll get the chef to make more without....

As Minnie - I've ironed your dress once, now you want me to do it again? I'm not happy. I could go to work for Lady Susan, she's offered me more money and less hours. I'm considering it.

[Zuleika]

Oh I see !! Thanks Grumpy

[grumpy]

Z - Hump and Dink are two of the 3 camels from our Nativity play (virtual you understand...) and they had to come down the escalators (virtual) wearing twinkly costumes (virtual - oh you get the idea), carry the 3 Wise Men (who were actually women) and walk across the ice-rink (virtual...) without falling over. Well it seemed like a good idea at the time.................
Millie says Thank you to Dink, she's practising walking VERY carefully so her tiara doesn't fall off - I may have to introduce her to the notion of glue, but judging by the kerfuffle it was getting sunscreen on the bald bits of her ears on holiday, I don't fancy my chances!
grumpy

[RevCat]

Big hugs Z... I had the combined mx and recon package, and can recall being a bit blue the first few days I was home, probably a mix of release of tension, anaesthetic after effects and shock all rolled into one. Fortunately it passed off fairly quickly. Hope you are soon drain free and don't have to join the seroma gang.

Hospital just rang about the blurry eye appointment (now ten weeks on from the referral, newer Benchies will not have a scooby what I'm on about).... they wanted to check if I have any holidays booked in the next 6-8 weeks... and which of three hopsitals I would be willing to go to.... ho hum.

Off and away again in a couple of days, so will have to pot out of latest mystery (following/posting on kindle gets complicated!) but hope you have loads of fun anyway.

[Zuleika]

Thanks ladies, you have lifted my spirits and I'm still not sure what the two camels thing is all about !!
Z

[Ali_H]

Zuleika yes Hun, you are perfectly normal. I'd worry more if you don't have the whole roller coaster of emotions to be honest! All things considered ( BC, mx, all that jazz) a darn good cry is a bloomin good idea, don't worry, just make sure you have enough hankies and put some Vaseline on your nose if it gets sore from all the blowing 🙂
Dink has offered to walk everywhere on her knees for Millie Dog so as to not frighten her (Zuleika I've just realised you've been offered advice on what's normal from a woman with two camels as imaginary friends!)
Tamoxifen question now please.... Headaches, nasty two day affairs that go and then sneak back, are these something I can blame on Tam?

[Guest user]

Zuleika and MMM, the Madlands Murder Mystery will help to keep your spirits up!
Z, m/x is major surgery, so you need to rest for a week or two. The drains are a d**n nuisance but will be out permanently soon - and it doesn't hurt! After a few days start doing arm exercises, just as much as you can. But most of all enjoy a couple of goblets of glitterberry juice every day! Mixed emotions & worn-outness is normal just after m/x.

[katytc]

Zulieka, such very early days for you, you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, big hugs to you.
Milly, big hugs to you too.
Yes, Milly you can be Chester, woo hoo, only Edwin now and we will have a full cast!
ann, no one will be naked, there will be no saddle on Hump which means the short journey will be sooooooooo exciting as Hump has promised to gallop, should be a fabulous entrance and experience for you and Tupp! xx

[Ann_W]

Katytc you said the plods were riding bareback in the 3rd act. Just one question is it the camels who are bare or the plods ( I,m not very pretty in the bare state anymore) lol
xx ann

[millymolly_m]

Z, big hugs. I should be feeling fabulous now that my WLE results are clear but I've felt worse this week than for a long time. Be kind to yourself this journey is harder than we let others believe!
Oooooh, oooooh! Please can I be Chester? My OH always pats a certain part of my anatomy when that ancient northern city is mentioned.
MMM x