stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

[Ali_H]

Shall I ask the camels to return the car milady?

[grumpy]

Directing rehearsals tomorrow??? Me?????
I haven't a flipping clue what's going on!!!!
Perhaps everyone could turn up in costume OR with ideas/sketches of what they would like to wear.
Now where's the dog, the glue and the tiara......

Dame Grumpy

[Guest user]

I gave Olive the waitress a big tip after breakfast - excellent service...lovely girl. She was sniffing a lot however - p'raps someone's upset her?

[Guest user]

Ah, Blanche's young sister, Eleanor Le Feuvre...attractive woman...too sharp for my tastes though - bit of a shrew to her husband Edwin. Really can't imagine why, seems an OK guy to me.

[Ali_H]

Shall I get the car out milady?
Shall I get the camels out of the car milady?

[katytc]

Archie, really?? Do you not have duties? Gazing at the sky? Will def have a word with Blanche! She'll soon sort you out, you cheery chap!
WHO does Blanche think she is? Summoning us all to Norcambe of all places, she's soooo tiresome..........just cause she has oodles of dosh and we are all in her will...........
Have lots of dosh myself due to the fact that my husband, Edwin invested in stocks and shares using my vast inheritence, he is a pretty hopeless individual but has always been super, duper with figures.
Have to say am also fed up of her (Blanche) making doe eyes to her paramour Milton De Witte (have heard the rumours, he's engaged to mega rich Daphne, new money bah)
Well I suppose we'all find out tomorrow what exactly she's up to????
Can someone please have a word with Olive?? Her nose keeps running and she keeps sniffing, sooooooooo distracting.

Rehearsals 7.00pm sharp tomorrow evening, Dame Grumpy in control, oh help xx

[Ali_H]

I've been sky watching for the perseids, amazing!

[JCJ]

• Plain and dithery???? How DARE you? Just because I don't flaunt myself like some young madam I could mention or my mutton-dressed-as-lamb sister-in,-law, and I like to be sure about things. There's no need to be so rude. Keep your hands off my daughter. You're old enough to be her father! It's disgusting!!

[GIJaneH]

I did NOT lose any money on the stock market young lady! I cannot answer for that idiot of a man, but never, repeat never, under-estimate me....

so glad someone else explained the camels..... Oh saw a new glass in the cupboard on my return from mmu...where's that glass from? "It's a glitterbury juice glass". "Oh" Nothing else, just "oh". Didn't go there with the camels....

feeling off after op perfectly reasonable/normal... Being gentle with ourselves and our expectations is a learning .....

big hugs being dispensed near csl bench

jane xx

[Guest user]

Blanche, magnificent woman! She has been most generous - gave me these amazing diamond cufflinks for my birthday and whispered that she has another secret gift for me!! Her brother Chester gave me the filthiest look - really can't imagine why! His wife's a bit plain and dithery, but Charlotte Rose... now she's a very sweet girl!

[JCJ]

Hugs to Z and MMM (as in Milly molly M, not MADLANDS Murder Mystery - so confusing!) I've left a HUGE pile of freshly laundered lace hankies by the CSL (crazy sobbing lady) bench. Help yourselves. Have a good cry. You'll soon feel better. SO Flora is Chester's wife, Blanche's brother AND Charlotte Rose's mum. That's clever of me. I do think Blanche was very silly to lose all that stock on the money market... Or was it Chester losing money on the Stock market, I always get so confused. Don't keep shouting at me like that!

[foxyferret]

Zuleika, anything you feel is normal, we all go through the whole gamut of emotions. Hugs to you, hope you feel better soon and get rid of the drain quickly.
Camels- short explanation - in the real world two went missing in France, Ali was on holiday there at the time so we pretended (as we do) that she had kidnapped them and brought them back to Benchland. We tried to make her return them on her next holiday there, that didn't work out and they seem to have settled down very well here and join in all our capers.

As Olive - is everything all right? Would you like more tea? No butter? I'll get the chef to make more without....

As Minnie - I've ironed your dress once, now you want me to do it again? I'm not happy. I could go to work for Lady Susan, she's offered me more money and less hours. I'm considering it.

[Zuleika]

Oh I see !! Thanks Grumpy

[grumpy]

Z - Hump and Dink are two of the 3 camels from our Nativity play (virtual you understand...) and they had to come down the escalators (virtual) wearing twinkly costumes (virtual - oh you get the idea), carry the 3 Wise Men (who were actually women) and walk across the ice-rink (virtual...) without falling over. Well it seemed like a good idea at the time.................
Millie says Thank you to Dink, she's practising walking VERY carefully so her tiara doesn't fall off - I may have to introduce her to the notion of glue, but judging by the kerfuffle it was getting sunscreen on the bald bits of her ears on holiday, I don't fancy my chances!
grumpy

[RevCat]

Big hugs Z... I had the combined mx and recon package, and can recall being a bit blue the first few days I was home, probably a mix of release of tension, anaesthetic after effects and shock all rolled into one. Fortunately it passed off fairly quickly. Hope you are soon drain free and don't have to join the seroma gang.

Hospital just rang about the blurry eye appointment (now ten weeks on from the referral, newer Benchies will not have a scooby what I'm on about).... they wanted to check if I have any holidays booked in the next 6-8 weeks... and which of three hopsitals I would be willing to go to.... ho hum.

Off and away again in a couple of days, so will have to pot out of latest mystery (following/posting on kindle gets complicated!) but hope you have loads of fun anyway.

[Zuleika]

Thanks ladies, you have lifted my spirits and I'm still not sure what the two camels thing is all about !!
Z

[Ali_H]

Zuleika yes Hun, you are perfectly normal. I'd worry more if you don't have the whole roller coaster of emotions to be honest! All things considered ( BC, mx, all that jazz) a darn good cry is a bloomin good idea, don't worry, just make sure you have enough hankies and put some Vaseline on your nose if it gets sore from all the blowing 🙂
Dink has offered to walk everywhere on her knees for Millie Dog so as to not frighten her (Zuleika I've just realised you've been offered advice on what's normal from a woman with two camels as imaginary friends!)
Tamoxifen question now please.... Headaches, nasty two day affairs that go and then sneak back, are these something I can blame on Tam?

[Guest user]

Zuleika and MMM, the Madlands Murder Mystery will help to keep your spirits up!
Z, m/x is major surgery, so you need to rest for a week or two. The drains are a d**n nuisance but will be out permanently soon - and it doesn't hurt! After a few days start doing arm exercises, just as much as you can. But most of all enjoy a couple of goblets of glitterberry juice every day! Mixed emotions & worn-outness is normal just after m/x.

[katytc]

Zulieka, such very early days for you, you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, big hugs to you.
Milly, big hugs to you too.
Yes, Milly you can be Chester, woo hoo, only Edwin now and we will have a full cast!
ann, no one will be naked, there will be no saddle on Hump which means the short journey will be sooooooooo exciting as Hump has promised to gallop, should be a fabulous entrance and experience for you and Tupp! xx

[Ann_W]

Katytc you said the plods were riding bareback in the 3rd act. Just one question is it the camels who are bare or the plods ( I,m not very pretty in the bare state anymore) lol
xx ann

[millymolly_m]

Z, big hugs. I should be feeling fabulous now that my WLE results are clear but I've felt worse this week than for a long time. Be kind to yourself this journey is harder than we let others believe!
Oooooh, oooooh! Please can I be Chester? My OH always pats a certain part of my anatomy when that ancient northern city is mentioned.
MMM x

[Zuleika]

I'm rooted to the cant stop crying bench, it's this normal ? I'm 4 days post mx and recon and managed to pull half my drain out last night. Now I have to go back to hospital to have it checked. Normally I rarely cry and am very stiff upper lip type. Feeling so sorry for myself even though surgery has gone so well. Maybe it's the reality of everything finally hitting me. Before May 29th, life was normal and now I'm on the bc train.
sorry, I know for sure there are many people far worse off than me
z

[katytc]

Superb clarification Jenanne!
So pleased to see JCJ throwing herself into the part of dithering Flora, posting lots of times.........should I press the post button or not???? Yes, yes, yes, maybe???
Dame Grumpy very important director type person, script will be given to you on the day, know you can cope cause you are as always fabulous!



Blanche Pepall Meath-G I Jane
Eleanor Le Feuvre-moi, katytc
Benjamin Le Feuvre-Benedictus
Flora Pepall Meath-JCJ
Charlotte Rose-G I Jane, Charlotte Rose is NOT a slapper!!! She is a flapper!
Milton De Witte-jenanne
Miss Delia Sparkle-ST
Claude Domville-FF
Minnie-FF
Olive-FF, well done 3 parts!!
Archie-Ali, scarf wearing Parker type guy
The Dame-Director
PC Plods-Tuppence and ann_w
Edwin and Chester still needed asap xx

[GIJaneH]

yer what now?

[Guest user]

Meek, mild & dithering Flora Pepall-Meath, mother to Charlotte Rose & spouse of Chester, Blanche's brother, who lost a heck of a lot of money on the stock market, is Blanche's sister-in-law
OR to put it another way
Blanche's brother Chester's daughter's mother is Flora Pepall-Meath, who is therefore Blanche's sister-in-law.
Hope this clarifies things a bit.

[supertrouper]

Is - and please say it is. The part of Miss Delia Sparkle still available? If it is I would like to audition for this part.

I think I have drunk too much glitterberry juice tonight - home alone whilst my boys play out their fantasies at heavy metal camping festivals. Ahh well - normal service will be resumed tomorrow when they come home.

[JCJ]

Kindle has been banished to the reading corner. Now using tiny phone. I can't remember who flora is and to whom she is related. All I know that she dithers, doesn't like balconies, and is fed up of the leering attentions of that old letch who fancies anything in a skirt......or trousers.......or even a boiler suit come to that!!

[Guest user]

FF, I think Olive is only doing the waitressing part-time and I'm pretty sure that Milton de Witte has noticed her efficient qualities when he's been out with Blanche for afternoon teas.

[Guest user]

double post!

[grumpy]

I shall have to contact my BBF Dame Helen to borrow a frock again - I do hope she has been shopping recently.
Memo to self - purchase some 'support garments'
Grumpy

[grumpy]

Thursday breakfast???? Was that when I went to order the extra teas???
I need a script so I can block in the action, I shall need a props list and a set plan, a lights/sound scheme (she says, showing off her professional credentials) and wardrobe list, but you can all design your own frocks!!!
Millie dog is thrilled to get a part, but she is a tad worried cos she does not like heights and has been told that camels are VERY TALL.....
Grumpy

[benedictus]

Were they really singing "Benchland, Benchland uber alles" on the proms tonight? Our reputation goes before us

[foxyferret]

JCJ - turn your kindle OFF. It's obviously got a mind of its own. Collect your marbles, they're just next to mine, and try again later.

Anyone want to change a will? My firm, Claude Domville and Sons, will help you to do this and will only charge a very large fee .

[JCJ]

Either I've COMPLETELY lost the plot or my .......ARGHHHHH! It's done it again.
unforch cider makes me sick, so I'll have to pass on that, Ali. I am slurping a lovely rose wine though - my favourite white zinfandel. It helped wash down a yummy steak dinner I cooked for us tonight 🙂 but now I'm having to sit by the open balcony door to cool the resulting flushes. 😞

[Ali_H]

Shiney marbles! Get yet shiiineeeyy marbles etc etc
I've discovered rosé cider. Yum. And such a pretty colour.
JCJ, how many marbles would you like? And have a lovely rosé cider with them, it's made from apples so is bound to do you good 🙂

[JCJ]

Another random re-post so I deleted it! Kindle clearly confused by being in Scotland? Too much haggis and whiskey?

[Ali_H]

Shiney marbles!! Get yer shiiiineeeey marbles ere..... Luvvly marbles....get em while they're....ummm....marbly!!!

[JCJ]

Either I've COMPLETELY lost the plot or my kindle (other.....)has just randomly re-posted the post I sent on Tuesday, in Travelodge! So titef and confused. OY! You! Bring me back those marbles!

[JCJ]

i am sure I can hear the camels rampaging aout on the stairs complaining that this escalator doesn't work!
it's a good job i'm not sharing this double room only 2 teabags -that's not enough for me never mind anyone else!

[foxyferret]

Crikey Katy - I said ONE of those parts not ALL THREE ! Will do my best but I think I left my marbles in Morecambe. Will search the lost plottery shed in case someone found them.
Do I play Olive as the Julie Walters character or as a part-time student at uni? Can imagine the other two characters but struggling with that one.

Grumpy - I believe you were elected at breakfast on Thursday. Do you not remember?

Son and family have been over and believe it or not, I think daughter-in-law GOT Benchland to a certain extent.

Nice photo Jenanne.
Ali - I, too, read that as a camel coloured scarf!!

[katytc]

Yes you both can be Plods! Remember you will be bareback camel riding in the third act, so hold on tight!!
Only Edwin, Delia and Chester now, nearly a full cast xx
PS Wonder where Kays surprise was???

[Ann_W]

Can I be a plod please cos I,m naturally nosey and will love searching all around the penthouse suite and any of the other places where bad deeds have been done.

[Tuppence]

Can I be a Plod please? I can practice my Allo Allo Allo what 'ave we ere. I'll work on the accent obviously!
Glad the travelling benchies had such a good time.
Tup x

[katytc]

tee hee, the part is yours jenanne xx
Casting only now for Edwin, Chester, Delia and the Plods xx

[Guest user]

I would like to be Milton De Witte, Blanche's special friend who is full of admiration for her formidable qualities - he is also full of admiration for the beautiful, fun-loving Charlotte Rose, Blanche's niece.

[Ali_H]

Ooh Katy, nicely recovered! Hump very happy.
Blanche, I'm afraid the camels don't consider themselves animals, nor to be honest bound by any rules or conventions, but I'm sure they'll behave and not nick the silverware. They do like a nice spit though....ok, I see your point. If I gag them can they come in please? Only you know what they're like when they sulk....
(ummm I've forgotten who scarf-wearing dude is chauffeur to, is it Blanche? Do you think she'll notice the camel hairs in the back of her motor?)

[GIJaneH]

Well, excuse me (in character as Blanche) "I'll have NO smelly animals in MY suite of rooms thank you! IF you behave, you may enter the foyer, and there you may stay, PROVIDED you do NOT "take the hump" at any time" (or do anything unspeakable as animals are prone to do)

[katytc]

Do not despair dear Hump, The Plods ride you up the stairs and into the Rotunda to announce the murderer to all, a spectacular part indeed! You are also allowed to spit on the culprit, woo hoo!! xx

[Ali_H]

Psssst.......Katy.......Hump's gone off in a sulk, he's already jealous of my camel coloured scarf and now he hasn't got a part in the production..... Dink however is having a diva moment 😉

[katytc]

New word for the day titef, please stay away from the balcony JCJ xx
Good luck with exam results xx