The latest edition to the knitted menagerie. Meet (merry) Kris Moose (can't call him Chris - too confusing!) 😛
https://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/media/gallerypage/image-id/808i9E0313C5008F29AD
I am erecting a new bench. It is the "Will the sh*t please leave Katy alone, she's had ENOUGH!" bench. We will all gather round and sing silly songs to cheer you up - FF can you oblige on the keyboard to keep us (almost) in tune?
Was the fainting perhaps a reaction to the strong pain killers you have been on? Keeping everything crossed that they find out what's going on and you can start to get back to normal....... well not normal, obviously, but you know what I mean! 😛
Poems, we NEED fat in our diet - just in moderation. So enjoy that butter, but don't eat the whole packet! 😄
I am sooooo tired. Half term holiday, at last, with 9 "no get ups" now though, so hopefully I shall recover soon.
Oh Katy that all sounds about 9.75 on the Grim Experience scale....
Anyhow the play is 'A Distant Plateau' and I'm not actually IN it, I'm just the backstage bossy cow - and you all know how well I can do that!!!! Google Ambleside Players and there is more info.
Snot report: blood tests and new a/b's so Millie is wearing a fetching tuft of cottonwool(NO glitter) attached to her front leg.
And it still pisseth down in Lakeland (the place, not the shop)
grumpy (and damp)
Been absent fishing for neuts for some time, then once I found some I was hit by chemo no. 4 so simply couldn't fathom a way into the intricacies of the recent showstopper, but just had to send a very large virtual hug to Katy. Hope all the tests have gone well and that simple answers have been found.
Love to all other Benchies xxx
Thanks JCJ,
I've bought a cushion for the jittery bench to save me poor old bum and hips. Beverages and comestibles sound lovely, calorie free or not. Best news I've had this week is that butter is not bad for you, in fact fat in general isn't as awful as they've been making out. Phew, the amount of butter I've put away these last few weeks was starting to worry me, now I can eat it with a clear conscience.
Mandy, glad you're doing ok.
Katy, also sending hugs.
Kath xx
Katy, thinking of you. x
Have not read any posts..........just over back spasms this week, fainted/blackout this morning in the bathroom appear to have been out for around 15 mins woke up not knowing where I was, landed on shoulder so very painful having tests etc this afternoon. Tears are pouring down my face, can hardly see the keyboard so am def on the "truly feeling sorry for myself" bench.................so fed up of PAIN! xx
well gone clever thespians all... not my gift at all I'm afraid.
Thinking of you Poems; the first anniversary is a strange place to be, but try to focus on how far you have travelled since then. Some of us Benchcies are further along the road into the Land of NED and, whilst it never quite goes away, it does get less intense over time... or at least it does for me (though every time I try to fade away form these forum boards someone lures me back again)
MMM lovely to see you positng here again - hope all is going well for you.
Building arks again in Glasgow! Happy weekend everyone.
Millie says rehearsals in the village are MUCH more fun than rehearsals in Benchland cos she gets biscuits and bits of cake, and anyhow she didn't like being the Snotty Nosed Four Legged Beastie who roars in the night - it was the costume she didn't like, she wanted twinkles and a wand!! Talk about a drama queen luvvie!
grumpy
EPILOGUE: Ye one year later.
Frederic and Herman do rust in peace. Conrad, gone but not forgotten. 'Twas suggested a statue be raised in his honour, but somehow did'st seemeth in bad taste.
Beatrix did'st help William escape the dungeon, no-one knoweth his whereabouts. She maketh ye beste pastyes in ye kingdom in her own lyttle shoppe.
No more jesting! Jack and Arabella groweth vegetables in ye castle garden, happy with their (p)lot.
De Wynter hath passed, all is bright! Ye newly-weds liveth happilye together in Bench Castle. Friar Jerome and Audrey maketh up for lost time and chatteth with Justin everye day.
Morwenna and Seraphina walketh in ye castle grounds most days (weather permitting).
Whither went Shadowfax and Silvermane? Last seeneth with Agatha travelling in yon desert lands.
Some still see'eth ye strange golden orbs floating round ye castle and some heareth woooooeth-ing but, verily, 'tis just the wind!
Nice one everyoneth. Stop it eth! Now!
Anniversaries are always tricky, Poems. Take a seat on the jittery bench and we'll bring beverages and calorie-free delicious comestibles and keep you company.
Grease! Yeh! You're the one that I want, oooo ooo oo!
Thanks all of you for such entertainment. My turn to entertain you now. I'll daub my poems anywhere and everywhere.
Wuthering Heights
Heathcliff-like, you haunt my dreams,
central force of all my schemes.
Each decision carefully planned,
manoeuvred by your guiding hand.
Seeds you scattered long ago
only now begin to grow;
germinating slowly first,
unfolding with an unquenched thirst.
Across the barren wasteland calling;
as the burning sleet is falling;
Kathy walks with silent tread
through the lowlands of the dead
where ancient ghosts with hollow eyes
search the endless, sullen skies
and icy fingers pierce the skin,
trying to reach the soul within.
The air is filled with Ravens' cries
and jilted lovers mournful sighs.
Their bitterness will not be shaken,
nor their torment be forsaken.
Call your Kathy from her cold
and wasted moorland road.
To Wuthering Heights, bring her back home,
no more these twisted paths to roam.
Out onto the frozen moor
where deep snow lies and north winds roar,
Heathcliff passes through the vale
with eyes so black and skin so pale;
as kathy waits beneath the Elm,
to welcome to her lonely realm
the one whose love she once rejected,
who now her heart shall keep protected.
When the day is quiet and still
look out towards the Heathered hill
just as the Sun is going down
and shadows swathe it like a gown.
Two lovers walking hand in hand
across the shimmering, whitened land.
Where they are going, no-one can know -
they leave no footprints in the snow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my triple assessment and Nov 1st anniversary of dx, so I shall probably need cheering up.
Kath
Whew, I'm exhausted!!!!
Not only have I been participated in Benchland Productions Inc, I have been in rehearsals for Ambleside Players...there'e a web page, but I'm not sure what is on there as yet.
I said some strange things - who wanteth a cuppa tea? where ist the big scissors? Passeth me a script forsooth. Strange looks all round......
grumpy
Going to Crete!!
Hotel has 4 swimming pools so hopefully will be able to wear the swimming costume bought last year that has never been worn because of the bad weather we endured on last hol..............
It would be sooooooooo lovely if we have proper sunshine next year, chariot, ED and partner, GD and me, hotel is right on the beach, superly duperly excited'eth xx
Thou art not the only ones who hath/hast this problem!
'Tis indeed a happy day!
All shalt share our happiness - and ye treasure, found twixt privy and outer wall.
Lord Tristan de Woodruff shalt marry his fair Isabella and this new knyghte, Sir Justin de Jerome, shalt marry sweet Ladye Matilda.
I love Greece, Katy! Where will you be staying? I've been to Corfu, Athens and Crete.
Ya, bravo, bravo Jen, you have done us proud!! Flowers thrown on stage.
Just now have to stop the "eth" proving extremely difficult!
Grease the pantivity, am up for that xx
William the Butler???? Hadst no clue that this man was up to no good................into the dungeon and off with his head'eth! We can'st indeed now rejoice and watch the beheading with the usual party feel'eth!
The Friar????? He ist the father??? Oh me!
Where is the treasure??? as I'eth have loaded many a barrel of the olde mead to my masters, am sure their goodwill and kindliness, can help me restore my teeth'eth..............
Those strange and wonderful animals, ooh, aah, tis indeed'eth a most wonderous sight............
Great joy now abounds the castle and mine heart is light with happiness!
Welcome poems, come and rejoice in the castle of the Bench..................
Sooooooooooooooooooo excited have just booked next years hols off to Greece, woo hoo, have never been there before!!! xx
Act Three.The Murderer is Revealedeth...The Rightful Owner Returneth!
Morwenna and Friar Jerome gathereth all to the Great Hall of Bench.
Years past, Lord Herman did'st wrongly accuse a servant of ye insolence and gavest punishment most cruel. The man did'st love his master's Ladye but could'st ne'er a-wooing go! Revenge then filleth his heart!
Revenge did'st cause him to toppleth the statue, alas it falleth not a-right! Terror of Ye Curse of Olde did'st confuseth many and did'st help the villain covereth up his tracks. Many did'st think of forces supernatural! He bideth well his tyme until, a-fetching mead in the cellar, he espieth Lord Herman. He aimeth an arrow yet the shot did'st go astray, for Jack the clown did'st startle hym!! Ye Treasure Mappe he did'st lose in yon scullery where Beatrix did'st discover it. At last with poisonous potion dire he causeth
Lord Herman to falleth down dead! Ladye Agatha in distress did'st confideth in hym. Tho' their son be not long dead, Lord Herman resolveth to divorce his wyfe and sayeth 'Get thee to a nunnery'! He did'st pursue with wildest ardour the Lady Isabella for to wed anon. Ye treasure he would'st keep unto hymself! Lord Frederic too pretended he did'st love her, which addeth insult unto injury. Lawks-a-mercy!!! In trothe, you did'st do all this for love...William the Butler, trusted servant! Yea, alas, ye did'st THRICE committeth murder moste foule! Take hym to yonder dungeon!!
We cometh to the other mysterye - who IS true Lord of Bench???
Why t'is young Tristan Woodruff, ye son of Beatrix the cook. But what of fair Justin? Long ago before de Wynters did'st hold sway, a noble line did'st rule the Benchlands. Thy father's of this noble line! Perforce he hath hidden hymself from thee, to protect thee from Lord Herman!
Yet they wast always nearby! Thy mother, who doth tend Ladye Matilda, is ye Mistress Audrey. Thy father who hath kept silent with much griefe is none other than....our Friar Jerome.
Beatrix and Morwenna the Wise, hath looked out for thee and thy young friends of late!
All hath recovereth from recent plagues. We needeth now rejoice!! What ho?
A travelling circus approacheth?!!
Later to-nyghte? T'ith the morrow now. Do not feare , it doth give me moreth time for the diggynge. I have told ye goode Friar that I taketh up ye vegetable growynge but methinks he doth not believe me.
A travellynge circus? What larks! ( Can ye straynge humped creatures dig?)
Mistress, prithee maketh thyselfe at ease on yonder cozy bench, for to drinken of ye mead.
Later tonight: Act 3
The Murderer is Revealedeth...
The Rightful Owner Returneth!
Welcome stranger. Prithee tarry awhile and partake of this moste excellent mead........t'is safe,ye poisoned mead hath been poured away and three smalle peasant boys dids't taste what remaineth and they do stille live.
Morwenna, thou hast forgot that I have had syghte of ye treasure map and mine memory ith good. I am stille diggynge though I am sore afraide that someone wille see yon piles of earth I createth.
There ith plague in ye Castle? Gladeth I am that I hath had ye new fangled vaccination.
Help, help!! I am a stranger in your land and need to pass through to escape the wicked dragon that lives in Tuthersideofhill. I am a poor old wench so be patient with me as I tarry a while. The stream yonder is cool and refresheth me for my long journey.
apologiseth for notteth postingeth... is not good at creative writing ness
As Butler.... succombeth to plague so drinketh self to oblivion with mead, hick, hick, hick...
As Peasant... burieth plague victims in wood.... turns around just in time to be thwakedeth with a ladle by the cook who uttereth 'that'll teacheth thou to meddle....'
Oh-eth dear-eth me-eth!
As Friar: (if he's still alive? Lost track!) Verily, the mead was poisonethed. Herman was wont to drinketh by the gallon and 'tne'er killeth hyme afore this day!
As JCJ: children writing messages to a teacher who's leaving. One wrote: " I liyked it when Miss ******* geth us stickers for gud werk". Oh dear! now we've got 6 year olds at it with the ething!? 😛
Put my back out getting out of the car at work this am. 😞 Can't take anti-inflammatories as I'm on the REACT trial, so I'm hoping my after dinner REACT dose will help! Full strength paracetamol on the go though, and Chillow deployed! Will be sentenced to a hard upright chair this evening as the sofa/arm chair not condusive to getting up and down with back pain! (Or the bed?! :() So much for slobbing out because I'm k******ed?!
Soooooooooo many dead'eth is it the plague??? I do not knoweth who ist alive'eth now??
Morwenna cackling and all the wooooooooooeths, will just roll another barrel of the olde mead down to mine secret room, where there appear'eth to be writing on the wall but as I cannot read'eth have no idea what it ist all about'eth..........................forsooth the pox, what'eth next'eth?
JCJ ouch, hope booby/dooby is better today! xx
(Justin)
Verily, Beatrix, I beg thy pardon, and a pox on any who would'st cast nasturtiums on thy virtue!
Yet thy name to me is Mother - thou treateth me like thine own Tristan.
Thou spake trothe. My own mother is but a simple wench, my father I knoweth not!
Lawks-a-mercy! 'Tis whispered this day that Lord Herman did dyeth a most uncommon death!!!
Ahhh - but you DONT know where the map is buried!!! The Snotty Nosed Four Legged Beastie hath hidden it securely in her cave, forsooth, and no-one knoweth the location of the cave....... so diggeth all you wish, the map is well concealed.
Morwenna (cackles with delight, waves scabby head in glee)
My son is dead and Lord Frederick, my lover. too. Woe is me. Lord Frederick promiseth me that he wouldeth fynde ye treasure and we woulde ride awaye and live happily ever after. Now withe my Lord Herman also dead I have loste all.
Whateth shalle I do?
Wherevereth shall I go?
Whatevereth wille become of me?
Whoeth wille protect me?
Whereth do I fynde monies?
Entering a nunnery wille be ye laste resort!
Whoeth is accusynge me of selfishness, of onlye thinkynge of myselfe? T'is not true, I am prostrate with grief .........until cometh the time when I starte diggynge for ye treasure again. T'is my only hope nowe.
(Jack)
Lord Herman is DEAD!!! Arabella my wife sayeth I should ha' been content with my Jester's lot! Mercy me!! Now mayest I speak the truth. Oh, greedy foolish me!!
I confess I did'st see Lord Herman in the cellar, with Lord Frederic lying dead! I did'st receive such a shaking 'tis wonder I am still of a piece. He did'st warn me to sayeth nothing of this, on pain of death. Mayhap others now speaketh out who dareth not afore - for fear of our master!
All thinketh that I am in my chamber prostrate with grief and hopefully all are now asleep. They knoweth not that I hath stolen clothes from ye washerwoman, borrowed a spade and am in search of ye treasure. I hath had sight of ye mappe and knoweth that t'ith buried between ye privy and ye outer wall. Oh no, someone cometh! I muste make haste back to mine chamber. But whoeth else is abroad this nyghte?
Forsooth! We seem to be participating in a lot of "ething and binding"? (sayeth that aloud! :p)
The story thus far:
Morwenna & the Friar Jerome are worn-outeth. They hath sought in vain the one who did'st commit the foul deeds. No one confesseth!
It doth transpire Tristan & Justin are the sons of Beatrix the Cook.
One is Lord Herman's child! Beatrix hath not named the father of the other, as yet! She sayeth one son should'st receive his dues.
Lords Herman & Frederic did'st plot together to arrangeth marriages & the sharing of treasure.
Frederic did'st come by the treasure mappe, deceive Herman, & go alone to seeketh the fortune. He did'st pay for his greed! Beatrix did'st find the mappe, which Morwenna hath kept safe.
So, who did'st USE this prophesy, of returning rightful owner & present family's demise?
and did'st USE knowledge of Frederic's deceit?
The castle sleepeth now, but one doth lie awake whose conscience be not clear.
Act 3 tomorrow: The murderer & the rightful heir - both shall be revealed anon!
Mi Lady Agatha is being comforted by Tristan and doth not oft require my service- eth - I have prepared her bed chamber and now am waiting for her to call upon me to prepare her for this evenings repast.
As she doth not require my serveth at every minute of the day I shouldst be able to keep up with the plot, but nay! I haveth lost the plot in completeness but do find myself thinking in 'eth' language and having to stop myself using it aloud and therefore confirming my OH's suspicion that I am totally loopy!