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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Now I've got the bad news out of the way, I must get chariot race sorted.

Got some mad twinkly leggings to wear with black bra festooned with tinsel and seqins, tiara and body makeup with GLITTER.

No suggestions as yet for host/starter.......

Joey still wants a studded leather jacket, and Meg INSISTING on pearls and tiara.

Norcambe doesn't know what will hit it!!!!

Have we chosen a date????

Grumpy

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

They say things come in threes.

(Takes deep breath) as well as my friend who died from bone secondaries, my friends mum died at 91,  and another friend died after a massive stroke  leaving his wife who had brain surgery 2 years ago and struggles a bit with life. What a f##king AWFUL week....

I have a lot to be Thankful for.

Grumpy

JCJ Community Champion
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Throw your guilt in the lake T4T. The alligators will fatten themselves up on it and we will enjoy delicious alliburgers! Definitely NO SWIMMING in this lake though. <<hugs>>

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks JCJ, I am a huge fan of Benchland and a Pantitivity is perfect! (Oh yes it is!)

My results were mixed today.  The surgeon took all of my pectoral muscle and got good margins on the chest area, but under the arm was only 0.5mm.  Normally that would mean more surgery to get clear margins, but there is nothing left to take bar the ribs and that is serious and complicated surgery.  I will be discussed at the MDT next week (in flattering terms, I hope - I made an effort, painted my nails and didn't bat an eyelid at the surgeon's freezing cold hands) and rads is the next step.  It's an odd one as rads for bc can cause angiosarcoma, but that kind of sums AS up really!  Then, all they can promise is really close monitoring and I have to very observant for anything unusual.  More time on the roller coaster, and in Benchland, for me!

On the journey home I occupied the F**king Furious bench (again) because 15 months ago the tunour would have been less extensive.  After a lovely dinner cooked by my daughter, I've been on the G&T bench while my brain unravelled and I may potter over to the Feeling Sorry for Myself bench followed quickly by the Guilty bench for feeling sorry for myself. Or, I might just fire up the chariot and go for a training run.... Smiley Wink

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

By the way,we had the vicar do school assembly this afternoon. Theme: Christmas Carols. I struggled to keep a straight face and a professional demeanour when the first 3 carols he talked about were all ones I have 'adapted' (mutilated more like?!) Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome aboard tat4tit! I am so glad this crazy thread gave you the chance to have a good, medicinal laugh. It got us all through the sh*t times.  Most of us remaining Benchies are through the worst now - just annual check-ups and 'because of your history, we have to investigate' type medical scares bring back the 'demon on the shoulder' from time to time.

 

Feel free to vent and/or join in the madness, but a word of advice: Be careful how/who you try to explain your hilarity (to) -  most 'outsiders' tend to rush for the straight jackets when you start mentioning 'panitivities (panto nativity) on ice dressed as a donkey'. Or virtual diving/synchronised swimming galas. Or indeed chariot races. We've done them all and had a b***** good laugh in the process!

 

 Day 14 Advent Carol

 

Once in seaside Norecambe City (Not very Royal and Nowhere near St David’s)


Once in seaside Norecambe city,
Stood a lovely camel sled,
With a Benchy wearing lycra
And a tiara on her head
Ali was that Benchy fair,
Hump and Dink her pulling pair.

 

More verses to follow! Smiley Happy

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

A chariot race, why not?  Togas, glittery costumes, tiaras, flashign light shoes and knee high tights? Yep, all kitted out.  Might even wear them to my appointment this afternoon Smiley LOL  Thanks for welcoming me, it's lovely here even if I'm a bit dizzy from lurching between so many benches.  Is there a 'Bench of Requirement' a la the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts? Then I could just sit on one and it would magically alter to reflect my rapidly changing moods.. Smiley Wink

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ooops forgot the knee high tights which are compulsory!! xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome tat4tit, everyone is allowed in BenchlandSmiley LOL!!

You def have the hang of the benches and if there isn't one you need, just make it up.

We are a friendly bunch and have even managed to have some meet ups even though we all live at different ends of the country!!

We are about to embark on a "Chariot Race" , a Xmas themed, toga wearing, glittery costume type thingy and ofcourse we have our super sonic, fab chariots.

It is also a tradition to wear tiaras and have flashing light shoes, you are very welcome to join usSmiley Happy!! Hope all goes well with your appt.

Off to make my lettuce soup now xx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Is Benchland still accepting newbies?

I can't tell you how many wry and belly laughs this thread gave me over the weekend.  I read from the beginning (I like to be organised), but had to give up after about 30 pages of the nearly 500 as the forum doesn't allow us to choose random pages to dip in and out of (next or previous only Smiley Sad ).  And, let's face it, I had to get off the sofa eventually and do something useful around the house - you can only stretch this cancer patient thing so far... Smiley Wink  I'd love to know how some of the founders of Benchland are getting on - they created a wonderfully supportive community, as well as providing much needed humor around an incrediby cr@p situation. 

I have great need today for the Crazy Sobbing Lady bench, the Denial bench (do I have to order that one?), the Unbelievably Scared bench and, if possible, a 'frequent flyer' pass for the F**king Furious Bench.  In one of the early posts, someone put a Phantom Nipple Pain bench up and I'm on that a lot too...

After a misdiagnosis of a lump in July 2014, I received a dx of primary angiosarcoma in the breast in October 2015 and I've been on the F**king Furious bench, nipping over to the Unbelievably Scared and Denial benches ever since.  A primary AS is ncredibly rare (less than 0.4% of all cancers in the breast). Surgery is the best treatment and so, although I don't have breast cancer per se, I get to join in the surgery fun and had a radical mx on 26/11 with most of the pectoral muscle removed because (nips back to the F**cking Furious bench) it was growing unchecked for 15 months....!

I have my results appointment this afternoon and need to vent in a safe place or I'll explode!  Oh, that puts me on the Guilty bench too because I daren't offload to anyone in my family for fear of scaring them more than they are already... So here I am, hurtling between benches.  Anyone else around today?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaarrrgghh stupid autocorrect! Smiley Mad *ATE*

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Five dozen???? And now you are a pie?? What's going on?

Thank you for the yummies, JCJ, was singing along to day 13, silently of course.

Wowee FF, decorated and now have cleaning supplies, happy days indeedSmiley Happy!!

Xmas tree now up, I started it, well. removed it from box and YD has decorated, looks soooooooooo pretty,

why can't I do that? Artistic no................got an A for Art at school, was def a fluke.

Can't be bothered making lettuce soup today, it's the "CBA" bench for me, all day!

 

So sorry about your friend grumpy, so sad, hugs flying your way xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Re-reading earlier post. Perhaps I should clarify: we are 5 pies not 5 dozen!! (But it was a close run thing!! Smiley Tongue)

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Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hooray for the arrival of cleaning products!! Smiley Happy Get the next order in now, and it might be there when you need it?? (As if?) Hooray for successful decorating!

 

Here's the 13th of our advent carols:

 

Benchland Belles


Dashing through the place,
In our Chariot race today
Over the streets we race
Laughing all the way.
Belles with boobies bring
To town a wonderful sight
What fun it is to silently sing
A chariot song tonight.

 

We made 6 1/2 dozen mince pies yesterday. YD is taking 2 dozen home with her today, and we ate 5 between us while they were still warm......they are only small....and delicious! I've put a self-replenishing stack of them in the shed, along with clotted cream and brandy butter (warm the pie, prise the lid off, insert knob of brandy butter, replace lid, stuff into mouth.  Bliss!! Help yourselves.

 

mince pies

 

 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

So very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Grumpy.  Hugs coming your way. 

 

Katy - when you posted, I hadn't started.  But I did start...... and I finished. YAY!!  Chimney breast now papered and looking good.  Actually looking b***** fantastic!  Only needs new cushion covers now to finish it off although I might consider new curtains and hearthrug.  We shall see. Going fabric shopping on Monday for the cushions, yes, I shall make them myself, that way I get what I want.

 

I've not said anything about school this week but it's been a nightmare!  Certain activities have taken place and overtime has had to be done.  I don't mind doing the odd 15/20 mins sometimes as on other days I can leave early.  Swings and roundabouts.  That's fair.  But this week.......well.......christmas crafts......hydrogen bombs of glue followed by a nuclear explosion of glitter and I'm fighting a losing battle.

 

On the other hand, I have finally got the cleaner/disinfectant that I first ordered last May, victory is mine after 7 months.  Halllelujah!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

<<hugs>> Grumpy (hugs button doesn't work on my tablet, despite the very helpful tech elf's advice!). I hope your friend's family, - and you! - can take comfort from the fact she's no longer suffering. What a sh***y disease this is?! xxx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just had some very sad news - a dear friend in the village died today, secondaries in bones although no primary was ever found. Her two sons and two of her three stepsons all arrived in time. We all think she hung on until her 2 boys were there...... her husband has got plenty of support from the boys for now, and from the rest of the village in the coming months.

Grumpy (and gutted)

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

hahaha, JCJSmiley Happy!!

No not lettuce soup.................

Are the mince pies in the shed???? Is there cream?? yum yum, are they hot??? xx

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Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

PS.lettuce soup, KTC?????? Smiley Tongue

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Behind window number 12: a few dozen mince pies (later) and this:

 

Benchland Belles

 

Chorus

Oh Benchland Belles, Benchland Belles,
Sparking all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride
In our chariot race today. Hey!
Oh Benchland Belles, Benchland Belles,
Sparkling all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride
In our chariot race today.

 

Verse to follow tomorrow! Smiley Happy

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh delly, that's a lot of appointments, hope they all go well for you.

JCJ, fabulous, fabulous, you are in the wrong professionSmiley Very Happy, have a lovely day with your daughter!

Have been superly busy this week, ED has returned to work so have GS 2 days and a couple of hours on Wed. GD had to have two teeth removed because her baby teeth would not fall out, all went well, we were worried because she's a bit of a "jessie" Smiley Happy

Bought two new rugs which I was a bit unsure about cause they didn't really match, so big surprise is they look great, woo hoo!! Was going to buy a runner for the hallway but decided on a large rug amazingly it actually makes the hall look bigger so on the "happy bunny" bench.

Have only to buy a lettuce and stuff for soup for Xmas soooooooooooooo no hopefully crazy supermarket shopping for me!!!

Have been waiting now for 2 months re appt about bad lynn, will have to phone on Mon cause am obviously lost in the system, grrrrrrrrrrrrr xx

PS, FF have you started yet?? Tee hee xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Don't break up til next Friday. But for first time in YEARS we finish at 1pm instead of 3! Smiley Happy

 

YD here this weekend. We've just put up the Christmas tree and will make a huge batch of mince pies tomorrow, so she can take some home with her. She came all the way from Norwich to supervise the placement of 'Pipe Cleaner Man' (pink pipeclener stick man with a small polystyrene ball head and tiny santa hat - she made it at Brownies many many years ago!) on the tree, and then accidently pulled his head off!! Fortunately, she managed to put it back on.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Delly, my 'fat problems' stem from a gallstone (which could be your tummy problem from your description) which I had removed in August - along with my gallbladder. I couldn't eat any fat at all without severe pain and/or sickness. Now I can eat normally but can't seem to have too much fat, probably because without a gallbladder I have a steady trickle of bile but not a store of it to deal with large amounts of fat.

 

My gallstone was discovered on an ultrasound scan I had "due to my history" when I had 4 'stomach bugs' in 4 months. Try cutting all fat out of your diet (try to keep below 3%) and see if that helps?

 

Next verse for day 11. Final verse of Oh Holey Tights:

 

BC has taught us to love one another,
We live by love and our gospel is peace.
Lynn we shall thwart, for the sleeve is our brother.
And in Benchland’s name all guiltiness shall cease.

Great chunks of guilt to the grateful crocs toss we,
With all our hearts we praise BCC’s name.
Christ, is it warm? Then peeling off a fleece we,
Chomp on an alliburger, dancing round the flame.
Chomp on an alliburger, dancing round the flame

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

PURPLE RULES - but only to those who LIKE it !! Ok, ok, so I'm behind with YOUR and MY posts. Not been well, awwwww, diddums Delly. Now' seerious tum prob, 4 weeks now.  I  get through 1/3rd a meal and feel sick so have to stop, then feel even WORSE through the 1 hr after. Have had blood and poooooo tests done. Back at docs next week to get results + have appt for UltraSound Scan!! Think he's being very conscientious (am hoping that's ALL), which GIVEN my history is HUGELY appreciated by me.  

Have also asked to be referred back to my previous choice of lady surgeon before my move here, to carry on my BOOB RECON-ditioning, as I like to call it !! STUFF the inconvenience of DISTANCE from me to N M/chester. She has such an amazing REPUTATION and after me meeting, I felt I'd be MORE than happy to place my Delicate, precious little body in the hands of. ??

 

Plus I'm ALSO having to ask for a Ref for a hand specialist. See if I can be helped as oppo to it having to run it's course, before I then have to have finger tendon release and enzyme injections to break down all the crumpled up palm muscles, tendons, connective tissue. Maybe also help me build up the "wasted hand muscles".

Also got appt next week with my knee specialist, dating back to a major, brilliant Anterior Cruciate Ligament Reconstruction 1995, followed by a  "Clear Out" arthroscopy 2011. Need another arthroscopy as knee has locked again, preventing it fully extending, so having to hobble/walk with it slightly bent.

PLUS, had eye test 2 wks ago - early cataracts !!!! Have to allow to "ripen" before anything will be done. Don't have a prob with THAT at ALL, easily remedied !! Explained why I'm struggling with both daylight AND headlights. Bummer this Anno Domini biz - innit !!

I'm most "bothered about my HANDS - but, after speaking to my X neighbour, who's the head of the Physio dept. AND also a head lecturer at the MM Uni in Manchester, there may be "possibilities" for me, to help. Can't tell you how much that meant, 'cos all the I/net info was very, very -ve !! Anyway, I'll see what can happen !!

Hey Katy - why has it taken soooo long to realise BAGS are the answer to everything Xmas - "life" even!! hahaheeeee! Another company I'm gonna buy shares in !!

Ohhhhhh - JCJ - Good for you IGNORING my remarks of Salvation Army songs being sooooo INAPPROPRIATE for Xmas.  I'm teeeasing you. Do you think I really give a  - - - -  ! That's T-O-S-S !! Whatever makes YOU and all ELSE on this 'ere GOLDEN thread Happeeeee is BUENO with MIA !! Cappische ?!

 

Oh Grumpy, what a gawd awfiul time you've had of it up there. whenever Keswick's been mentioned - well, it IS one of my most favourite places. They were calling for volunteers on the rad and I signed up, so should be up there now. But forgot my puddycat !! Can't leave her in the hands of anyone else at the mo' Better than was, but still not 100%, may not be again, Hope NOT. Yeah that's a very hopeful "ohhhh Yes she will". She's also taken to being very demanding of wanting attention AND giving it. when she's not been much bothered the last 3 yrs or so. Hope it's not a sign that she's sensing something !! Anyway please take it that I'm v.v. concerned ref the floods up there. Terribly upsetting for everyone and espesh at THIS time of year. Stupid bloody powers to be, NOT getting rivers dredged etc to AVOID happening AGAIN so quickly. Bloody stupid government duckheads get on my TITS and I don't even have ANY. It's a load of SNOT !!!!!!!!!! and I've had to tone down that language !!

How are your EARS - dear ??!! Both from my above deluge, plus whatever's upsetting them ??

 

Katy - by "Snowballs" me thinks you mean the DRINK variety yes?? I think I prefer the sound of them so I need an invite. I'm an orphan you know. I got the contact for the local Sally Army to volunteer meal duties for Xmas day. Promised myself I would NEVER have an Xmas or NY like last year. Have since had invite from my last boyfriend and his "Husband" !! for Xmas dindins to make up a four. Am in a bit of a quandry cos I'd geared mesen up to doing something "worthwhile" with it being such an ffffflippin awful day for me with family losses, espesh Mum, as we'd got into the habit of going up to the Lakes for Crimbo's after Dad died. 

 

Listen - I've come up with a poem called "Why Is a PRAWN a PRAWN and Not a Shrimp" ?? What happened to the word  "SHRIMP" ?? Such is my most imaginative mind at ALL hours of the morning. I can't give you more details at the mo', because of of potential "copyright" issues. No seriously !! It's all about the diff between SHRIMPS and PRAWNS. Come on, you have to trust me in that it's GOOD witty stuff. Only prob is, I have to keep gettin back to the SEMI conscious state in my 'ED, in order to access IT. It's to do with the diff between shrimps/prawns and what they feed on - sewage pipe detritrous of BLACKPOOL and NORTH WALES, as oppo to the sweet, clean food of ACTUAL "prawns" in other seas !!!!!. It's all based on childhood knowledge of SEWAGE PIPES on the beaches of the afore mentioned areas and "shrimping" with nets !! So I'm NOT making ANYthing up. Have to write it down and then keep it from you all 'cos it's MOMENTOUS in it's importance and significance !! and don't want ANone else pinching my idea !!

JCJ - Hope you get your boiler sorted. Sounds like its a diaphragm that's gone, If it's a COMBI, there are TWO, one between hot water ONLY and Heating ONLY.  And then the other that in the Winter, gives BOTH Hot water AND heating TOGETHER, OR just hot water, OR just heating.A three way "DIVERTER" 'I' know what I'm talking about, whether anyone else DOES is a different matter. I HAVE to get my own sorted, in that,  if the heating's clicked off on the timer - I can't get HOT water full stop!! .Unless I click heating ON. You understandy ?? 'I'  DO.

Don't give up the day job with ref to Carol verses !! But seriously - they're GOOD !! Take no notice of my alter-ego. It has a different coloured SHELL - hows THAT for being "Obscure" ?? !!

Your Xmas school show brings shades of "Love Always" school scenes to me - awwww nice !! So your tums sensitive to fat too. Why's that then in your case.

Back to opticians this morning for a "Dry eye sesh" and advivce + pair of expensive frames that weren't my choice. Lens labs sent me the wrong pair and someone else mine. I'm blond and pale complexion so would I spend two hours in the shop choosing 3 prs of specs, all that have to look bloody brill at what I'm spending on them?? and ONE pair of them NOT to suit me at all. NOT the sage green metallic frames I had sent. Hope they can do something, otherwise I'm gonna blow my top and stomp in the shop. I knew I shudav gone to "SpecSavers" rather than a private little op that's 3 mins walk from me.

I've just absolutely let rip at T*sc*'s, after receiving an email from their bank saying  due to my usage . . . Haven't even used thei card for the last 2 years, so told them where to stick their card and that I'm never gonna step foot in ANY of their stores again. Continuing with "  I no longer have ANY need to EVER use a T*sc*'s AGAIN when I have other far more superior choices that are also cheaper such as *ldi, Lid*, FrozenwaterLand.  You've become too big for your boots. AND if I EVER receive an email from you again, I'll SUE you for breach of my privacy rights "!!!!  If you ever used to watch "Grumpy Old Women", that's how I now AM, shuckersofferbaggerflips (that's me mutter cuttering under my breath!!) steam's coming out of my ears.

GOODBYE.

Speak to you's soon. Keep it up JCJ. Have you broken up now, or Friday should I say??

Dellydoodaa xxx

 

  

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

25 on Christmas Day then?  Think I'll plan a barbeque!!

 

Fantastic JCJ.  You should consider a career change.........quite obviously you should be  a songwriter  

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm cracking up. I've just checked the weather for the week ahead, it's nice and mild girls, gets a degree warmer everyday....10 today, 11 tomorrow, 12 on Saturday.... Eventually the penny dropped. Oh dear....

JCJ Community Champion
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just back from school after a ridiculously long day. Christmas performances all done now though.

 

Fortunately, I wrote this before today. Here is the verse of Oh Holey Tights that's behind the 10th window!

 

Led by the light of Katy’s chariot beaming,
With thumping hearts by Eric’s statue we stand.
O'er the girls the sweat is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the women from out of the Benchland.
To The Kings pub we shall make our way
In all our trials BC made us friends.
We know our needs, whose turn is it to pay?
Behold The Kings! Inside there’s cups of tea!
Behold The Kings! Inside there’s cups of tea!

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm hugging everyone xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Who are we hugging??? xx

JCJ Community Champion
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I saw the hugs button and the one next to it (??) but they don't seem to work on my (Hudl2) tablet! Smiley Sad

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oooooh!!!!! There's a 'hugs' button !   Smiley Happy

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Absolutely brilliant!  Thank you so much.  Committing it to memory right now.

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 9

 

With sincere apologies, of course, to the original composers/lyricists. Here we have the first verse of Oh holey tights:

 

Oh holey tights

O holey tights! The shoes are brightly shining,
It is the night of our great chariot race.
Long sat the girls in The Station Hotel dining.
Till the dogs appeared and the camels increased their pace.
A thrill of hope the dreary prom rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious form
Tights to your knees! Oh, hear the Benchland voices!

On off with the fleece, “Oh christ, Oh Christ it’s warm!”;
O tights, O holey tights , O tights, o tights knee high

 

I sincerely hope that no one is offended by my irreverent nonsense. No offence meant. Just trying to amuse! Smiley Happy

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Shouted with laughter at "O holey tights"!  JCJ, you crack me up!  Can't wait for tomorrow now.

Glad you can eat everything now, enjoy your Xmas meal.

 

Katy - decorating...........well............thought about it.........thought about it some more........and no I haven't done it yetSmiley EmbarassedSmiley EmbarassedSmiley Frustrated

 

WILL do it at the weekend. Have to or it's going to look awful over Christmas.

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ahha.................JCJ you do have a secret weapon, who needs an extra super, duper exhaust added to your chariot when your bottom obviously will do the job.............thought you would fool us?????? with just your reindeer???? Not a chance! Have still got some marbles left, caught you out!!

Have a lovely night xx

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Home briefly before going to nearby pub for staff Christmas meal. I don't have to limit myslef to the most boring thing on the menu this time! Smiley Happy Yes, Katy, I can eat normally now, but I get "indigestion" (terrible flatulence Smiley Embarassed) if I eat a lot of fat. We had a really fatty piece of lamb on Sunday and I suffered all night. No nausea or severe pain, just very very windy!

JCJ Community Champion
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 8:

 

Final verse of Onward:

 

Chorus (see previous posts)


Onward, Norecambe people;
Join our happy throng.
Blend with ours your voices
In the Benchland song:
Tinsel, lycra, knee highs
Utterly covered in bling.
This through countless flushes
We all silently sing.

 

Final rousing chorus.

 

Tomorrow: 1st verse of new Carol, especially for FF: "Oh holey tights" Smiley Happy

 

Today I have been mostly sewing tinsel back on to angel sleeves, (should never have given the angel parts to boys!!) stapling angel wings (ditto) and stopping a full on fight between Roman soldiers during the finale song. The joys of Primary School Christmas performances?! 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahahaha, JCJ, you are funnySmiley LOL

Have been miming, the chorus non stop................

grumpy it makes you very dizzy for a long time, first symptoms are sickness and dizziness.

Pouring again here, when will it stop?

Bought snowballs today, forgot how yummy they are so have left some in the shed.

JCJ, can you eat anything now?

FF, have you decorated?

delly, wake up xx

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Behind window number 7:

 

Chorus:

Onward Benchland Chariots

Racing up the prom

Felling Norecambe pensioners

Going like a bomb

 

Like a Roman army

Faces glowing red
Sisters, we are racing
Where those camels led.
Although we have been frightened;
With damaged boobies we:
Live in hope and friendship
Thanks to BCC!

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Katy if labrynth-whatsit is caused by bits floating round in the inner ears, then yes, it's either that or something to do with trapped nerves in my neck.... gruesome.

Water all gone now, but roads still blocked in places, so the village is like a ghost town.

Yesterday I did a humongous pile of ironing, repaired the roof of the bird table and got all the Christmas stuff out, so there's GLITTER all over the carpet. At least the dog hairs look pretty now!!!!

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Day 6: next verse of "Onward" (and nah boo shucks to Delly, who cares if it's a Christmas Carol or not? It's a Benchland Carol! Smiley Tongue)

 

Chorus:

 

Onward Benchland Chariots

Racing up the prom

Felling Norecambe pensioners

Going like a bomb

 

At the statue of Eric,

Circling one, two, three

On then Benchland Chariots

On to victory

The King’s foundations quiver

At the shout of “Please
Barman lift your finger
And bring us 5 large teas!”

 

I save bottle & gift bags, Katy and reuse them with new gift tags (Scrooge?! Smiley Happy) I had a foil one covered in colourful Christmas trees, last year, - that one has been recycled into about 8 Christmas cards!

 

Our central heating is playing silly b***ers. Boiler fine. Thermostat clicks as expected when you turn it up above the room temperature, but it doesn't seem to be communicating with the boiler. We have to keep running the hot tap to make the boiler heat the water and then the heating will come on too! Terrible waste of water, but at least we're not freezing to death! 

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Guffawed with laughter JCJSmiley LOL!! Need a laugh cause have been wrapping presents for the last 3 hours, now I don't do anything fancy, just wrap them sooooooooooo either I'm pathetically sloooooooooow or I have bought too much..........think it's the former. YD went past and said "Mum, Why don't you just buy bags?" Too true my dear...................Why don't I?

delly, hope your tummy is getting better, there was a very nasty bug doing the rounds. Being a really, really wicked witch will take your mind off bad tums.

grumpy, it's not labyrinthitis is it??? cause that lasts for months.

FF, hope decorating is going well, you won't need your heating on if you are busy girl xx

 

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Grumpy - what's up with the drain clearing service these days ??? I can remember when they used to come round every 6 months with the big noisy, slurpy, SUCKY lorry (!!) to make sure they were clear whether they were blocked or NOT !!! Forget Tra'ors (that's a Dorset accent), I wanna drive one of those!!! Slurrrrrpy sluuurrrp (I ought to be writing kiddies books ! hee). I've got to get on to the council for two that have been blocked near me for over 2 years. This time of year, they're treacherous, because the water doesn't drain away and diverts itself down an area of "sunken" pavement (lower than the level of the road with a shallow wall between it and road) so becomes entrapped into a pavement RIVER. This gets FROZEN when icy temps prevail, hence treacherous. I need to do something about it don't I ?? Need to get my printer sorted out (may be easier to buy a NEW one at £40 !!) and write a snotty, THREATENING letter to the council, that if I "should" slip and fall - I'll immediately be sueing, especially as I've PRE-warned you, and a copy of prior said letter has been "lodged" with my solicitors!!  Note readers, how I'm getting into the legal jargon that NO-one can ever understand.

Just heard the weather news on you up there. EckyPecky lovey - drastic for you and espesh around my beloved Keswick.

 

JCJ - I HATE to be a "Kill Joy", but guess what, I'm going to be - heeha. Since when did "Onward Christian Soldiers" become used as a Carol tune near Christmas???  AND, Errhumm, you need to stand up because I've put tacks on your chariot seat - thought you needed the exercise !! (cue whip crack noise - kickowww!!). You see, what none of you have yet realised, is that I am the panto equivalent of, YAHAHAHAHAA, King Rat (Dick Whittington or is it Aladdin??), the Wicked Witch (Oz), the Wicked Queen (snow White), the Wicked Stepmother (Cinderella) MWAHAHAHAHAAAA !!!!.Said with gleeful, over dramatic WRINGING of hands.(That must be worth £5 worth of royalties !!). Ohhhhhh, yes I AM. You won't get any sweeties thrown at you from MEEEEEEE, you miserable load of TOADS, hissssssss!! More MWAHAHAHAHAA

 

To totally change the subject. Have recently had to give in to specs - what a difference !! But, have just realised one of the pairs I ordered are black instead of green frames. Hummmmm, have to take back, and a very expensive mistake by someone. Ohhh dear,  not my or the dispensers mistake. Having spent nearly a £1,000 on 3 prs, I'm not prepared to "make do" with something I didn't order. Have to be bloomin perfect at that cost, wouldn't ya say. 

Hope you're all okay and doing well. Have a lovely weekend.

Oy, FF - get on with yer wallpapering woman !! Kickowww (thats the sound of a whip in letters !!)

Loadsa love

SmellyDelly, yeehahahahaaaaarrrr xx

 

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

 

 

JCJ Community Champion
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Right. Day 5. New carols. You will be rationed to 1 verse a day (because I can't write them fast enough!)

 

Onward Benchland Soldiers

 

Onward Benchland Chariots

Racing up the prom

Felling Norecambe pensioners

Going like a bomb

Grumpy's royal Meg dog

Leads along with Joe

Round and round the Madlands

See those Benchies go

 

To be continued.

 

School Christmas Fair today, and I made £45 selling knitted toys & cushions and homemade jam. Half to school fund and half to Macmillan Cancer.  Not bad. I've still got a cushion, a donkey and a horse left. They can join in the chariot race (well, maybe not the cushion - though it will come in handy for seat padding?! - though I seem to remember I'm standing up, but can't for the life of me remember why!! Smiley Tongue)

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We're cut off - all roads out of the village due to flooding. Bottom of our road almost impassable due to blocked drains.

So no trip to hospital for scan........ so still no idea what's the matter with my ears...... balance all peculiar and falling over sometimes! And no it's not excess glitterberry juice.

Grumpy

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

FF - Flippin 'eck with your ongoing heating probs. Yeh, I'm with Katy, awful day yesterday after a beautiful CLEAR night and morning sunshine. Where abouts in the SW are you ?? Have I asked before. 

 

Just woken up on the sofa, last I knew it was about 10.30 !! Am on antisickness tabs for a gippy stomach that I've had for 3 1/2 weeks. Lost 4 lbs which I can't afford to. I've a fridge and freezer full of tempting food but it keeps getting thrown away. The tablets make you sleepy but tum more settled already. Just had some crackers and humous. Having a "sample" and blood tests done. 

Put my door wreath up yesterday, that's as much as I've done crimbo wise so far. Needs a bit of tweeking and a few colourful additions so will have to have a root in the decs box - which is in the attic !! but will do. Needs a bit of a sort out up there as the tennant before last left a load of stuff. I didn't know at the time, so had no forwarding address to contact to have them pick it up. Took a huge bag of beautiful soft toys to the charity shop so somebody's going to enjoy them this Xmas. Need to organise an extra set of muscles to move other stuff down.

Am rabbitting so I'll go to bo-bies now. Nighty-nite

Delly xx

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Delly - Yeah to the poem, I really want to age disgracefully!!  I don't WEAR purple - it doesn't suit me either- but I love it and I will surround myself with it if I want to!   I was suggesting that you all you move to the south west but last nights weather was awful so perhaps not.  Roasted ostrich? Not sure about that........

 

Head scan Grumpy?  Will it show if you have a brain?  Seriously  I hope all is well.Smiley Happy

 

Not been to school today had to wait in for plumber, heating is not behaving itself and won't work as I want it to. Plumber and I have agreed that it would be best to swap remote controller for a thermostat and he will be back to fit that next week.  Hopefully then the heating will do what I want it to do.  So now have to work tomorrow and the wallpapering (no, it didn't get done this week) wiill be done on Sunday. Yes, it will, it really will! I promise it will!!

 

Today - sunshine and mild weather again, Sorry Katy, it's lovely down here.  Don't need the heating on, which is just as well as it's not working properly, it has a mind of it's own at the moment, to be fixed next week I hope.

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oooh JCJ, you shall be honoured in Benchland, a special award for super, duper making up fabulous tunes, you shall be advanced from tiara to crown asap, woo hoo!!

Just love themSmiley Very Happy!

Have had the worst day EVER, been battered by gale force winds and horrific rain and ofcourse I had to go out, not once but 3 times boo hoo........................grrrrrrrr!! Had to hold onto my chariot for dear life and am aching all overSmiley Sad! Off to bed soon, tomorrows another day, so they say xx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh knickers, just looked at hospital letter, and it's Barrow not Lancaster........ so it's up at 7am to get there for 8am, in time to take diazepam before head scan!!!! I expect to do a recce at Walney, just in case Norcambe isn't suitable for the Chariot race........

Grumpy (and confused)