Not yet got mx/recon oct 3rd, will have to have tamoxifen but oncy said to wait til after my hols!!!!! maybe its post chemo blues??? pre op blues??? Who knows??
Another bench suggestion... 'I Know I should be grateful..but...'?? posted my woes on the post I put up asking if anyone ached more after chemo??? Cant explain again...I havent any energy today..feeling super miz...can you believe it when it's my 13th wedding anniv, bank hol and I go on my holiday of a lifetime this week???????? Wots up with me???JX
Don't know so much about "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?", more like "If YOU said I had a beautiful body I'd take you to Specsavers"!
W-O-M-A-N. I'll say it again..............
Lay your blanket on the the Ground
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
And 'stand by your man' also by Tammy W for the 'OH is a diamond' bench?? or does having a diamond OH put us right back on the guilty bench??? ...And so it begins again...... XX
Definitely stop all your sobbing- the pretenders- for katytc's sobbing bench....barbara striesand guilty?? for the guilty bench...or are they also too obvious??X J
Ok move over Chocciemuffin I am back again on the crazy lady sobbing bench, my breakdowns are always very public (only had 3 but feels a lot more) so feel a bit guilty about that. I was in town yesterday and there was a small show taking place by a childrens dance company, as I stood watching the kids I started to feel very tearful and before I knew it the tears began to fall. OMG what's wrong with me???? I did not know anyone in the show, what was I blubbering for??? Beat a hasty retreat. Then was reading the posts about the music and thought straight away about Abba's Dancing Queen, started blubbering once more. This tamoxifen has a lot to answer for. X
Don't get me started! Unfortunately, all the cheesy/obvious ones immediately spring to mind..
I will survive - GG
Always look on the bright side of life! Monty Python
Reasons to cheerful (part 3) - Ian drury et al
Ah yes good point...that impression of an elephant is me lumbering off to the 'there,there feel better' bench....Aaah!!!...but the snack bench is still calling..????!!! pass the earplugs!! XX
J - and don't forget these are turning into musical benches, so we'll all get lots of exercise! And because everyone will be moving about so much, we'll all make new friends and never get bored of the old ones.
Choccie, I'M ON THE GUILTY BENCH!!!!!! or is it the furious bench??? Is there a 'time for a snack bench' with those plastic boxes underneath full of goodies???? ...perhaps not or the guilty bench will collapse under the weight!!!
Im just happy to have my tastebuds return, and keep eating to make sure???? Oh no now I feel guilty for having tastebuds (after 9 weeks of everything tasting YUK)
I AM CONFUSED... Will it be the snack or guilty bench , the fat bench?? now I feel like crying...the sad one ..Choccie....HELP, send me to a bench...I need to sit down!!!!!!!!JX
Edited to say Phew! D, you have just added a'there, there feel better' bench XX
Starting to sound like these benches are made out trees that have come down in the 'dark, dark woods'! Nothing wrong with that - the recycling lowers our carbon footprint and gives us less to feel guilty about.
Just want to know .. on the 'its my fault I got cancer bench' .. do you have to be wearing yellow wellies? Cos it is my fault but dont have yellow wellies??
J, you're not allowed on there. I'm on the guilty bench! It's all my fault, I edited the post because I couldn't remember all the benches, so I'm guilty because I couldn't remember, and because I edited the post, and because it made you feel guilty and, well, just BECAUSE!!!
Oh. I think I moved onto the ******g furious bench without noticing! Ooops!
crossed posts with choccie??!!
Edited to say just read properly choccies post and now I think we should have a hysterical bench, perhaps with one of choccies spare buckets in case we don;t make the loo...sorry TMI but the old crock impressions mean it's tough to get up the stairs in a hurry!!?? XX
Edited again to say I am heading back to the guilty bench for not reading choccies post properly first time!!!
Choccie that explains it!!! I got OH to lift me off the bench...sorry beanbag/s.....well he is a powerlifter..... I then pulled myself together & started packing, happy to report 4 cases lined up in the dining room!!!...guilt, what guilt..turn the music up!!
Spendablenda not sure if the music stops??? do we just keep moving benches? does anyone know, does the music stop????
Depends where you are.
If you're in the CBA beanbags you just shuffle a bit and mumble "nah, can't be ar, erm, bothered" under your breath.
If you're on the ******g furious bench, you leap up and down and scream "who turned off the ******g music!!!"
If you're on the guilty bench, you reach for the tissues and feel more guilty than you did before because someone else was out instead of you. Or because you didn't try hard enough so you're out. Whichever, you feel a bit more guilty and then sit down again.
If you're on the snoozing bench, you just snort a little, roll over and give a little snore.
If you're on the had enough of this bench, you stomp off muttering "I'm not playing any more!". And then sit back down on the bench.
If you're on the we're all equal bench, nobody's out and the game starts again.
If you're on the fat b******s bench, you stay where you are and reach for another cake.
If you're on the is it me? bench, you automatically leave the game.
If you're on the sad bench, burst into tears immediately and use up all the tissues.
If you're on the my oh's a b****** bench, turn to said OH and hit him hard, screaming "YOU did this, it's all your fault!"
J, that's not a bench, it's the massive pile of beanbags in the corner! (Even if you WANT to get out of a beanbag it's next to impossible!)
Is there a very soft, cushioned bench ..maybe I have stumbled on it and cant get off....I propose to name it the ' I havent got the energy, and if I had I cant be bothered' bench.... perhaps we should remove the cushions or the 'guilty' bench will get too full??? XX
Thank you Norberte for giving me such a laff. My ribs are aching sooo much. It certainly makes me feel less isolated with the feelings I'm going thru' and I almost feel normal in these circumstances now..wooo hoo. It's really nice to be among people that understands exactly the feelings and emotions we have and thanks to you Norberte it will be great fun choosing which bench to sit on at any particular time. It will certainly be good daily exersize....lol. How good are you at diagrams?
Hugs to all of us. xxx
Thank you Chocciemuffin it's a bench I don't want to be on very often, let's move over to the ****ing furious bench, don't feel guilty about moving CM, bypass guilt and go straight to furious x
Can we please have the "crazy, sobbing lady" bench? This bench will have to be strategically placed somewhere in the background so as not to upset the guilty crew or get on the nerves of the ****ing furious! x
Id like to perch a buttock cheek portion on a number of benches, but after a night without sleep with my friend mr steroid (had chemo today) I wonder if theres a bench i could have a lie down on, perhaps the "if youre really tired you'll go to sleep" bench that my husband would suggest??? I can bring my own newspaper blankets( though wont need them thanks to hot flushes) and can of special brew which I think is mandatory for sleeping on a park bench. What joy!!
Not just cancer, everything's my fault some days! But thanks for pointing out that certain I gothic wrong, which puts me firmly on the "my fault" bench!
Choccie - it is there..
"just behinf the large circular ****ing furious bench you'll find the fat b******s bench - reinforced, obviously - which is conveniently close to the it's-my-fault-i-got-cancer bench (queue there as well, sorry, we're working on making that one bigger)"
Brillant, can you give me instructions to the "had enough of this " bench guessing it's not far from the "sad" bench!
You're right, you did forget one. There's the "It's my fault" bench. This one's pretty full too, and I reckon most of us jump onto that one for all sorts of reasons, not only BC but the fridge breaking down, the washing machine flooding, the car costing a lot of money, etc etc etc... It's right beside the "guilty" bench, for ease of access.
might have to cancel my Florida holiday to try out all the benches???.... Yeah right!!!
have fun has someone got the music???
Love to all
Love it Norberte - wonderful! Can we have a "your so lucky bench" as well, or would it be empty?!!!
Norberte.. thank u so much, ur post just cheered me up no end. i'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself (hmm is there a bench for that?) cos i'm 2 weeks post op & was recovering nicely but i've now got mastitis infection which has made me feel s***e again. Ur post made me laugh out loud,u have a great SOH, brilliant 🙂 xx
ok, so juat to recap the benches:
to your right as you come in you'll find the guilty bench - it's small, & there's a queue so when you're sitting on it you can feel guilty about that too
to your left is the long ****ing furious bench - it's become a circular bench (with a nice easy gap entrance for those of us who can't clamber) but tere's always plenty of room, & it's the powerhouse for the whole bench area, in producing steam which somehow gets turned into energy
the straight ahead we have the we're-all-equal bench - as you'll see it's conveniently near the guilty bench so people can hop across from one to the other any time they feel like they should / shouldn't be moanin as much / little as they are, because compared to other people hey have / haven't got it better / worse
the just behinf the large circular ****ing furious bench you'll find the fat b******s bench - reinforced, obviously - which is conveniently close to the it's-my-fault-i-got-cancer bench (queue there as well, sorry, we're working on making that one bigger)
the over to your right behind the guilty bench you'll find the is-it-me? bench - for hen we've been shaafted by the nhs getting it wrong & somehow always manage to come out thinking it's out fault or we're completely mad
conveniently near that one is the sad bench - it does what it says on the tin
& next to that we have the my-oh's-a-b****** bench, some of us will nip on & off that one but if anyone gets glued to it tere's a divorce / run away crane available
|& now i feel guilty that i've probably forgotten a vital one - don't worry, i'm typing this in the queue for the guilty bench - but i can confirm that each bench has tissues a tissue bin, chocolate, alcohol, wet wipes & a maagic box with anything else you might need in it (meat cleaver, pin doll, photo albums ....)
hope having a map clarifies things nicley - you'll notice that large empty area to your far left where there's room for growth, & electric scooters / buggies are available for travelling around the site
pl note that us disabled people can't jump the queue for the guilty bench - that'd be depriving others of something else to feel guilty about, which isn't fair play
I had `the works' with regard to my treatment for bc - lumpectomy quickly followed by mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, reconstruction. As far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter what level of treatment you've had (eg lumpectomy/radiotherapy and nothing else) we have ALL been in that doctor's office and been given the diagnosis of breast cancer, so we are ALL equal. There is nothing else like the fear of being told that and we have ALL experienced it. So for those of you who feel `guilty' please DON'T........
sorry can't help ..you see I'm erm... alittle overweight, definitely not helped by this latest dx! Now comes the guilt again as you see I have a fab supportive GP!!!??? mind you I can share 'rants' about local hospital!!!! (see earlier posts on ranting!!! who remembers the stinkers and ranters threads of easter???) Thankfully my mx/recon in Oct being done by different hospital...phew!!!
Lavender.. do you share 'Lulu's' hospital...cant mention names??? WGH? that's where I will be travelling for my mx , I am in N wales now but first time round lived in edinburgh.
Norberte...most definitely I could up the anti, he he but Tiaras never did suit me?!!! So I'll leave it for Choccie, I'm sure she has a much more 'beautifully shaped head' than me anyway!!
Iam definitely up for the suggestion long (very long by the sounds of it) bench, tissues and I do think chocolate is a must!!! now theres a thought the chocolate will help katytc put on more weight and give us all something more to feel guilty about ...sobbing and eating much choc???XXX
Bobbin2 don't think you're paranoid just bewildered by your treatment!!! Don't whatever you do start feeling guilty! haha.
I just want to share this with you all, I went to the docs a couple of weeks ago, unfortunately I saw a grrrr locum. I explained to him that I was always cold now (apart from hot flushes) and that I had lost around 1 and 1/2 stone in weight in a very short period of time (no change in my diet). He said that he would take a blood test for thyroid (clear) but he didn't think it was anything to do with bc. Now I'd started the coldness, tiredness and the weight loss just before diagnosis therefore I asked why the change in me if not to do with cancer? He said it was probably due to me losing fat cells???? I was not ever obese, I am just in the average range I would say I am still average even the after the weight loss. What was that all about??? I said thank you and left surgery. So do I gorge now so I can put weight back on so I feel warm??? Any advice is most welcome x
"I still have insight, I think"
Course you do, Bobbin2, course you do!
Joking apart, you are fully entitled to rant after that lot,I don't think that even the nicest chemo staff always recognise how wound up we are as we arrive for the next dose of poison, errors are rarely ANYTHING to do with us, and spending an extra few hours waiting gracefully is one thing, being blamed for it is quite another.
Take this as your excuse/reason for phoning them up a few days before FEC3 to ensure all is prescribed as should be!
And consider a letter to the ward manager to put on record that you did attend the oncology clinic.
May your newts stay healthy, and the next FEC be better organised
with a hug
OMG. I have just read my post and for someone that doesn't know me might think I was suffering from an acute attack of Paranoid Schyzophrenia!!
Honestly, I don't....I still have insight..I think ^_^
Brill...I have found a place to rant! Had my second FEC treatment today and had the first thoughts of guilt after chatting to other patients that my 4 day stay in hospital, after my nuetrafiles took a nose dive, was nothing in comparison to what they have been thru'. In fact I was feeling lucky?!?!
But my major rant is about the NHS. So early in the treatment I have found that there is much to be done as far as communication from one department to the other is concerned. I began feeling paranoid as I felt I was being caught up in department warfare 😮 The latest being today. I arrive for my FEC treatment to find that after preparing me to receive the FEC the BC nurses discovered that the amount had not been reduced from the first treatment and had a 2 hour wait as a doctor had to recalculate the amounts, authorise, then for the pharmacy to prepare the new lot. I felt embarrassed for the nurses who were obviously annoyed about it. Now here is the paranoia bit. The nurse said to me that I didn't turn up to see the oncologist on Monday did I? I had a feeling something was wrong as waiting to see the oncologist on that day people were coming and going and I was the last one to be seen. His bed side manners could do with a little attention. So, did he say that I never turned up to cover his back? Did he not update the new levels of chemo? He wrote in his notes while I was there. Is this a ploy for me to say that's it I've had enough of this and save them some money?
It's so unusual for me to feel this way. I am getting more and more angry with all these faux pars of which this is just one. Is this the chemo that's effecting me I wonder??
Sorry to be such a drag. I am normally a laid back, forgiving person 😞
Rant over ^_^
Reckon I could beat you, J, your stuff is a lot worse than I've had, so I've got more to feel guilty about than you have.
Can we have copious quantities of tissues on our benches, please? And a massive great tissue bin. My car looks like a snowstorm from all the assorted tissues I've blubbed into, and I'm sure it's unhygenic. (Can't spell tonight.)