71.2K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

never mind the bench Lavender Lassie - there's a whole THREAD for you (and me!) Yes, I've been on the smug (I've finished) sofas....

Lavenderlassie
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

And I have to come in and sit on the stupid bench, was just going to post to Stargazerlily to enjoy her day at home now she is out of hospital forgetting how she might be feeling mid chemo. Now do I worry that I seem to have forgotten how it feels mid chemo - or encourage you all that you do leave it behind eventually?
Oh, well then, off to the bench for people who say stupid if well meaning things.

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have you been lounging around on the sofas GIJaneH??? xx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yay! I've been feeling guilty about not being on the guilty bench!

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

BENCHLAND has now officially reopened been very quiet for a while. There are sofas but I am afraid none have been allocated for those of us who are feeling guilty, just hard benches, I mean we would feel even more guilty just being a little comfy!! x

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome back J - i'D forgotten about the benches.
Time for a reshuffle. Plenty of room for you.
Hope you feel better in time for your op.

J01
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I am so glad to come home from hols...mind you not so glad to come back with an horrendous ear inmfection and a stinking cold!!! Especially as it's mx/recon next monday, so I was glad to find someone had changed the benches to sofas just in time for my op....oh it wasn't done for my benefit....oh well perhaps it's time for that spoiling bench SB and daisyleaf and I agree put Val on for comfort and we can have a volunteer bench....sorry sofa... and anyone feeling on the bright side can sit on it and take turns in mollycoddling everyone else....???

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

DFS - Good idea - we'd buy one and get one free-in time for Christmas delivery!

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We need an 'I need spoiling' bench - or really that should be DFS's best sofa - and Scottishlass gets first place on it - Val, hope you are doing OK and feeling the benefit of your op very soon darling xxxx

DJ007
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Reminds me of the time that a friend and I walked up Snowdon - it was early spring and was quite snowy and icy towards the top, blowing a gale too. We slithered our way to the top - arrived red-faced and quite proud of ourselves, just as a train arrived and a gaggle of lasses in mini-skirts and heels got out!

Ninja
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Not a chance - that was me running up it in my shorts.

In my dreams, these days; I can barely get up the stairs sometimes, never mind go fell-running again...

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just seen the pits pic Ninja - you should be so lucky !
Thanks for giving me a laugh. x
It wasn't you who abandoned that 4x4 up Snowdon the other day was it............?

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Ninja
I thought we women were supposed to hold maps upside down -so if we print a bench map upside down we'll be fine !!

Ninja
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

"what's the point in having a map? us women can't read them!!! "

That made me laugh - as an Outdoors Ed instructor, I used to teach males to nav. One of them suggested that I might have a problem joining them as I wouldn't be able to drive my car up the mountain. Cheeky s*d
lol

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi all,

My Mum phones me everyday to ask how I am I usually say "I'm fine" but having been feeling awful the past couple of weeks, so obviously she's concerned when she phoned today I said I had a sort of crampy feeling like when I used to have periods there was a long pause then she said I think it's you mopping your floors (honestly a 2 min job) I had to stop the burbling laughter!! You've got to love them!! Oops back to the guilty bench for me xx

emmy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Not too sure how the benches are planned but a F@@@ it all! one could be next to the I am gonna blow one then I can hop back and to, hhmmm could lose that weight that I gained? as for the can't be a@@d bench for housework it could be next to the can't be faffed getting dressed bench P.J party anyone? It is a great thread this been following and a few things make me smile these days but this is one of them! Take care all...x

scottishlass
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I am only 3 days out of hospital after an operation on my leg and You have cheered me up very much! I think it should be made into a play for the radio so people out there can perhaps begin to understand the emotions we all have to deal with having cancer as well as the boring everyday frustrations too.
I would like a bench made of feathers, yes feathers that we can all kick or punch without hurting ourselves and get out all that anger and frustration we feel. Thank you so much for this marvellous thread. Have added it to my saved ones. Love to all. Val

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Okay, I may not have a map but I'm now riding around Benchland on a mini railway (too tired to walk and it would take too long), handing out chocolate, icecream and tissues. The nurse in me....oops nearly ran over someone trying to get from one bench to the other...

dizzycloud
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

lots of room on my bench slendabenda, I will budge up.

I have also had from my mum statements such as "no more swearing, I didn't bring you up to swear, so I don't know why you are" when I was in hospital and suffering from lack of pain killers

More recently she keeps telling me my daughter should be looking after me, cooking, cleaning etc (she is 14 and does do a little bit for me) as everyone she knows kids totally ran the house while they were recoeving!!

oh and I can't forget the constant reference to work paying me while I am off, so I should jump to attention when they ring and ask me to do something as "you have to look after your job" and "if you are off a long time you might not have a job to go back to"

EDIT - todays convesation involved me saying today I had to do some work for work, have some ironing to do and need to prepare tea. The response was well make sure you do your work first before the ironing and tea, "daughters name" will have to wait for her tea??!! (does that mean I should go hungry too?)
oh and I havn't finished yet - mentioned I will probably gain weight from steroids given during chemo and was told well you can lose that weight straight after, you don't want to look a mess!

I think we will all end up with sore tongues from biting them so often!!

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

post deleted

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Shove up Dizzycloud - I need to sit on there with you.
My Mum is 89. I don't want to worry her too much so have down played the chemo side effects -consequently she hasn't a clue of how I feel really,although I did eventually give her a BCC leaflet about chemo. I realise now she actually didn't want to know what I'm experiencing.
Told her on the phone this morning that I'd go and see her today if I felt up to it. Went to see her this afternoon. She said " You look a bit white and spiteful" and proceeded to tell me how tired she feels.
I do love her dearly, but sometimes have to bite my tongue.
Room for 2 ?

Slendablenda
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Shove up Dizzyland - I need to sit on there with you.
My Mum is 89. I don't want to worry her too much so have down played the chemo side effects -consequently she hasn't a clue of how I feel really,although I did eventually give her a BCC leaflet about chemo. I realise now she actually didn't want to know what I'm experiencing.
Told her on the phone this morning that I'd go and see her today if I felt up to it. Went to see her this afternoon. She said " You look a bit white and spiteful" and proceeded to tell me how tired she feels.
I do love her dearly, but sometimes have to bite my tongue.
Room for 2 ?

Lavenderlassie
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Dear Dizzycloud,

That sounds maddening! if it wasn't for the fact that they sound as if they would interrupt and drive you nuts, I would suggest taking them along with you to your chemo education session!
The only reasonable response to your initial comments would have been "Don't worry, if you can't work, I will help look after my darling grand daughter"

A mute button or a sound proof screen- there's money to be made out of these ideas...

dizzycloud
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I need to jump on the "need to shout at my mum" bench, though if I am going to be sitting on it for a while (I think I will be) it needs to be a nice comfy sofa. She phoned me today for her daily check to see if I am ok and I started talking about chemo and my worries about being able to work thoughout it and what would happen if I was hospitalised etc (have daughter to look after). She then started to say I read too much online, I am overdramatic and that her friend sailed though 12 months of chemo with no problems!!. I then said that everyone is different, and thought silently I am sure her friend didn't have a problem free treatment. She told me I shouldn't worry until I go through it - easy for her to say that. I then got told that my sister (who is a nurse) thought I might just be on chemo tablets - so she is an oncologist then FGS!!! - so does that mean being on chemo tablets is easier than being on the drip version; I think not!!!. I love my mum dearly but sometimes I wish I could use the mute button ......

DJ007
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sure that some of them are on a sort of rotary contraption that means you can hop on and off them without having to walk too far....

Ninja
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sitting on the 'thinking murderous thoughts about HR' bench today.

Also got my feet resting on the 'the quacks stole my chemo and I really do not know what to think or do now' bench.

I also still have half a cheek on the "f*****g furious" bench.

I'm glad they are close together.

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tina67, a map would mean strategic planning, are we in rows, circles, some benches CANNOT be near one another ie ****ing furious and crazy sobbing lady. Smelly bench is alone in a corner somewhere. If you don't feel too good you don't want to be walking too far to find your bench, oh what to do???? I feel I do not have the expertise required, perhaps others can input and we can make one together! In my head it's a lovely grassy area with pretty flowers and trees, am I in the right place???

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Could someone please draw a map - I'm now not sure which bench I'm on...but could I bring the dog...she loves benches!

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

just added a "no I'm not *** over it" bench....beside the "you look well" bench ...

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ah, that'll be the guilty bench with your feet up on the "can't be ar, bothered" bench. I'll shuffle along, shall I?

una12
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Love this thread!

Anyone want to join me on new bench (or section of guilty bench?) I've discovered - the 'I'm so useless for not getting round to all those jobs while I was lazing round on chemo' one?

Jude

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just had a PM from mods, they've had a go, we now have BENCHLAND at the end of the title!

Cheers, mods!

And I'm skipping around the benches feeling happy, can't decide which one to go for. If there were an indecisive bench I'd probably be sitting on that one, but I'm not sure...

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tried that Chocciemuffin, doesn't appear to work post disappeared. Must have to be changed by moderators, back to the guilty bench again for me for not being able to help anyone find the thread! x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

halloooo from the defiant sofa, hope its near the I hate HR bench as I too am hovering towards the no pay zone. And while I'm on, can I have a little I hate tories bench, I saw George Osborne on TV this am and automatically slipped into Tourrets...its just a reflex
m

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Here's a thought - perhaps katyc can go in and edit the FIRST post on the thread?

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

SO nice to have sofa's instead of benches.. only trouble is, I might nod off and take a space that someone else really needs. I'm heading for the "what on earth next" sofa now....

DaisyGirl
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

looks like whoever is posting has to change the name too

DaisyGirl
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

The thread name reverted again, have tried to change it!

DaisyGirl
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

DJ007 - loved the song, one of my fav's anyway and the new words are so TRUE hehe

DaisyGirl xx

ps Norberte, thanks for the sofas, I think they are great!

sky2sea
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

norberte - are you sure it's not the 'thinking murderous thoughts about HR bench'. That's the one I'm drumming my heels against.
It's close to the 'laugh in the face of bureauocracy' bench aka 'the hysterical bench'

Dx

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I did report my own post asking for a bit of moderated intervention on the thread title, let's see if they can fix it for us (Jim).

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

post deleted

ragamuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Done it Choccie! But I thought that Norberte changed the benches to settees from DFS.

At least I did what norberte said but the title didn't change. Tried to delete it but I don't know how to. I went into edit and deleted but it just stayed the same. Luddite me!

Help somebody- please tell me how to delete a post after I have actually submitted it.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

post deleted

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hiya,

Can I join dizzy et al on the guilty bench please??

Been having "fun" with teens this end and have felt v guilty thinking about asking their dad (yup, single mum here) to take the blighters! If no space there I'll head to the naughty bench for murderous thoughts about washing-up!

Thx
Hxx

DJ007
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Saw the words 'benchland' and suddenly (and rather oddly as I was never a 'new romantic') thought of Spandau Ballet... Feel free to sing along..

Mother doesn't know where hope has gone,
she says we must be brave to keep us feeling strong.
See it in my face that's turned to ice,
and when I smile I show the lines of sacrifice.
And now I know what they're saying as my guilt begins to fade,
thatbwe found our friends on benchland and through the bc charade.

Cancer’s made my history,
it’s taken a year and now I’ll never somehow be free.
I know what I ought to say to you,
I learned it off by heart but now that's torn in two.
And now I know what they're saying on the bench of the renegrade,
that we found our friends on benchland and through the bc charade.

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Mods, can I ask a little favour? Could you change the title of this thread to include "BENCHLAND" in the title? A lot of people have been posting on it but I find I keep losing it because my marbles have deserted me and I can't remember what the title of the BENCHLAND thread is!

Ta muchly, if you wouldn't mind...

CM
x

J01
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Did ahve enuf time to see choccie's avatar ... yeah!!!! keep the benches warm for me!! may log on again????
J XX

J01
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

In Florida having a whale of a time!!! and guess what I don't feel guilty !!!! I havent time to catch up PC time limeted to 4 mins so catch up with posts when I get back
love to all
Jeanette xxxx

ragamuffin
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sitting on the knitting settee -

" obviously the colours are vile, it being dfs, but we can always sit on the knitting bench & make some throws"

knitting a throw - as I'm not very good at knitting I hope it will turn out OK. But at least I'm comfortable, thanks Norberte for swapping us over.