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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope your telephone appointment went/goes OK today, Jane, and best wishes for treatment tomorrow: I hope it is not too unpleasant, that it does its stuff and that the side effects are minimal. 🤞🏼

I have been thinking of you enjoying "Christmas" with your family and hoping you're not exhausting yourself too much!

More goodies in the shed (hic! There's booze in there!! 🤭): I've just made some Welsh cakes for our "Christmas", at the weekend - (mince pies were a bit too much faff, even though I do still have some homemade mincemeat) because the trigger thumb is no better; I had to use the food processor to rub the fat into the flour which felt like a massive cheat. Had to do stricter "quality control" because of this, so 2 of them have gone already.... "just to be sure they're up to standard"

As long as I keep my splint on, my thumb causes me no pain, but for certain jobs I need to take it off, eg baking, and then it's ouchy. (Though I am aware I am in no position to complain about pain to either of you!! 🙊) I shall wait until my 2nd jab and the girls' visit are done and then I'll try and sort out a Dr's appointment. All he will go is refer me to a consultant, but it's a start.

Hope the mark on your leg is nothing to worry about, Katy, xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woo hoo scooby/booby doo.................Fabulously fantastical news!! You can relax and enjoy your girls visit now and "magic Nanna" can be even more magical haha.

Hope you had a wonderful time Jane with the family, Xmas Day in May? Who would have thought?

Shed is well stocked at the moment, yummy yum.

Advent calendar is brilliant JCJ, years and years of fun for GD.

Speaking of wildlife we have an abundance of rats roaming arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. It has been obviously super quiet here and that has encouraged them to wander. Rat catcher is on his/her way. Yuck! Was just sitting quietly the other day and saw a baby rat on top of the bush in front of my window, geez. Not happy.........

GD and me have been feeding the ducks and she is sooooooooooo excited, lovely watching her haha. Who needs a zoo?

Spotted a very small mark on my leg and have sent off pics to GP, am so self aware now, we'll see xx

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yay!!! Prosecco and limoncello in the shed!!!

We had some on Christmas day aka yesterday!  Fabulous day.....

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Normal. Normal. Normal. NORMAL!!! I have it in writing; I am normal! Hand me that glitterberry juice and those sparklers! 😁

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sure if the mammo was not good you'd have had some contact by now....
Advent calendar looks amazing!

Cheese straws in abundance in the shed. OH made 230! Drinking G&T now...

It's been a hard weekend.   Breathing is worse, and i feel generally worse than before diagnosis .  I do a little blog, and said that, so I've been lectured about doing too much, and my best friend texted to say she was upset to read my blog!  I was on the FF bench!!!

The Christmas tree and lights are up, ready for GD to decorate it tomorrow afternoon 😁

Bloods and Covid test tomorrow. Telephone appointment Wednesday, treatment Thursday, including the new one 🤞

Hope you manage to get a break d

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ignore the scales, Jane, as long as you can still get your clothes on, no need to worry! 😁 Both my sisters were told on no account should they lose any weight before chemo as they'd need all their strength/calories!

Posh food in the shed! Yum. Roast beef dinner will be added to it tomorrow and a lemon Swiss roll (not my own, but made by a local bakery. Someone at the library gave it to OH on Thursday and he hadn't the heart to refuse, despite the enormous (for 2 of us) coffee cake I'd just made! So I said we'll have some of it for dessert on Sunday with some raspberry sorbet and/or ice cream and freeze the rest.) 

OH can cope on his own, he just panics about being in the house on his own overnight (or in the day when I was at work but now he's encouraging me to find something to do.... as if I can in Lockdown!)  He says he's afraid he might fall (too many stories of elderly people falling - including our neighbour, who lost an arm due to a badly broken shoulder and his mum who broke a hip!) Parkinson's nurse has suggested he have a panic alarm but he refuses: says they don't work if you fall with them under you, but I suspect the real reason is the same as not using the wheelchair: stubborn denial that he is that "disabled/old/frail". (Deny away. It's more ammunition for my argument that you CAN be left for 3 days..... at the moment, but for how much longer?!) I do all the cooking/meal prep now, although that's more because I'm here all the ***** time and might as well have something to do than because he can't. I don't get his breakfast, though, and he manages that OK so he will be fine heating something from the freezer in the microwave and I'd make sure there were plenty of easily reheated/prepared delicious meals. And there are at least 6 local takeaways that deliver!! 

He did say that he was joking with his friend, at swimming, on Tuesday, that he would "invite a load of ladies round for a party" while we were away, so I've not completely given up hope. I'm relying on the girls to put some pressure on him next weekend. 

Still waiting for my mammo results. It's been the 2 weeks they said, but I suppose the bank holiday will have delayed things a bit: not yet 10 working days. It feels a lot longer!! I'm taking consolation from the fact that it would have been here sooner if it was bad news. 🤞🏼

The advent calendar is finished! I can give it to the girls next weekend and let the parents decide whether GD can look at it - as it will be pretend Christmas anyway - or keep it until December. At least, I thought it was finished but I needed to reinforce the back as it bends a bit so I had to take everything back out of the pockets: one of them had nothing in??!! I'm sure I counted 24 ornaments: 25 if you include the rather naff robin that I replaced with something else but I can't work out what's missing. Maybe the naff robin will go in after all. 

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 More exciting videos from "Hedgehog cam". I put it in the shed to see what is bringing in loads of soil and leaves. We have an adorable little mouse!! It's cheered me up no end! I was worried it might be a rat visiting and although I'd be OK with that - after all, wildlife is wildlife: who are we to discriminate? — as long as it doesn't come in the house - but I know the neighbours would strongly object. A cute little mouse though, will be less unpopular..... although I still don't think we'll announce his/her presence: don't want anyone calling rentokill! 

Have a lovely time with your family, Jane, but take time away to rest when you need to. A week with a small one will be exhausting for anyone not used to it! 

 

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Right.... Cranberry and pistachio biscotti in the shed.  Florentines too....  cheese straws will be there tomorrow...  Christmas dinner with all the trimmings on Tuesday.  Crackers too!  I might draw the line at playing carols.....  Sitting on the k*******d bench now.  Whenever I stand or do anything, my back (armpit height) starts talking to me.  I am getting wise to it now, so before cooking today I took some paracetamol.  It's tiring being in pain, and if you're tired before you start....

Oh for some warm weather outside Benchland. 

We are getting excited, but I'm sort of wondering how I'll cope with a 4 year old for a week....don't know you how manage the little ones!  I'm out of practise!  I shall get some respite with my 3 hospital appointments this week - as you say, it all comes together.  It'll be weird to be back in the chemo suite having treatment.  It's all in a new bit.  My fab nurse made me laugh yesterday.  I texted her to say "would you Adam and Eve it, after 3 months battling constipation, I've got diarrhoea".  She simply replied "oh poo!"

I think I'll join you on the CBA bench.  Since I had the rib/back issue I've done no exercise at all, other than raise glass to mouth, and the scales are noticing. 

Enjoy the weekend.  Tipping it down here.

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hurrah, can now come off the FF bench and make my way over to the CBA bench asap xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

This is my third attempt to post so am sitting on the FF bench, grrrrrrrrr!

Sooooooooooo here I go third time lucky?

Oooh lots of lovely things in the shed and perhaps 2 Xmas Dinners in the same month?? Spoiled or what?

Enjoy your days!

Think the farm visit will be lovely, prob better than traipsing round and around the zoo, it's tiring when you are fit........

Oh dear JCJ, can he actually manage on his own? or is the prospect too scary? Your girls may convince him. If things are repairing with your son it maybe not the best idea.

If we do have an MMU he will have to come too but stay in a different B&B/hotel hahaha!!!!

Managed to get out and about yesterday to pick up things I missed last week, slowly and in stages but did it all. Dentist and then into town tomorrow but just in and out so will be fine.

Have an appointment with optician to see what's going on literally haha. It's not until the end of June so just keep doing what I am doing. Can't see doc because it's still with optician, mmmmmm.

The third book is easy reading and am ok with that, not excited but something to pass the time.........xx

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Merry Christmas! 🎉 Just this once, I'll allow the use of the C-word before 5th November. 😀

Thank you for reminding me that I need to buy sausage meat to make my sausagemeat stuffing. Everything else for our Christmas Dinner is waiting in the freezer until next weekend when the girls are coming.

I got a call from the Dr's surgery this morning. I guessed it would be about Covid vaccine so I didn't panic. 2nd vaccine booked for 1:30pm Friday 21st. The day the girls arrive! I hope it doesn't make me as tired as last time!! At least it will be done before we go away on 4th June and we will both be fully protected, but the timing could have been better! Just my luck: you wait months for things to happen and then they all come at once! 

As I ended the call from the surgery, (I was still upstairs getting myself together after my shower) OH said, "Did you hear the post arrive?" “Yes. Is my letter there?!" (Not that I'm constantly thinking about mammo letter - yes I am!!) "No, but I thought you might have heard the letter box and be wondering." Aghhh! Why even say anything then?!

I think your downsizing of the zoo trip is a very good idea. As you say, it's a lot of money and you'd feel pressurised into making the most of it: exhausting for anyone and not good in your present circumstances! Add in c*** weather, as my D. experienced, and the zoo can be pretty grim. You will make just as happy memories, with your GC, at the farm.

I googled the salted caramel recipe and used this (but there are loads):

https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-salted-caramel-recipe/

I used double light Elmlea instead of "heavy cream" as I buy that because it keeps longer and we rarely use cream. (I struggle to digest very fatty food and OH is putting on enough belly weight thanks to Ropinirole! (Ropinirolypoly?)) 

The sauce keeps for ages in the fridge - or until you get sick of it being in the way! 😛

I've just started reading Wuthering Heights. It's been on my kindle (other e-readers are available) for ages and I thought I'd give it a go. Quite enjoying it so far, even if it isn't completely gripping. 

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh JCJ, how hard!  Respite care?  Don't suppose he would agree to that....

Salted caramel custard sounds amazing. How do you make the sauce?

I'm going to make some pistachio and cranberry biscotti.  I'll put some in the shed.  Hopefully florentines too at the weekend. We're cooking for Christmas!  It got cancelled so last minute,  the turkey is in the freezer along with pigs in blankets, sprouts etc. OH made stuffing this week. Apricot and walnut being my favourite. They all arrive Monday. Christmas is Tuesday!!  Big tree in the loft, so we'll put that up too.  Been to the charity shop for books to wrap up to put under it.  I shall put Christmas meal in shed next week. 

Changing my mind about the zoo.  I'm still very tired, rib still healing and the forecast isn't good. Next week is also 3 hospital appointment week,  and I'm starting a bone strengthening treatment which could make me feel flu-y.  £200 is a lot of money.  We'll take her to a local farm expedition lots of animals. At 4 she'll be happy with that, and it's not a major event/whole day...

Hope your week's go well xx

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sitting in our garage. Thank goodness OH keeps a chair in here! JUST finished mowing the front "lawn" and next-door's when there was a flash of lightning followed shortly after by a sinister rumbling and the heavens opened just as I got the (electric! 😱) mower into the garage!

The back lawn and the edge trimming will gave to wait. Shame?!

Unfortunately, so will lunch. Unless I brave dashing into the house in this downpour. Not entirely sure it wasn't my stomach rumbling!!

Dessert was homemade apple crumble, made with our own Bramley's, and salted caramel custard, which, I have to say was amazing. I had some homemade salted caramel sauce getting on my nerves in the fridge so I made custard (using the famous powder - it doesn't tweet...or build nests!) but I left out the sugar and stirred in the salted caramel instead. Oh my days! Goes perfectly with apple crumble!!

I was hoping to go for a walk while OH is swimming this afto but if this rain keeps up....!!

I got all excited at the weekend because YD asked if her dad would be OK on his own for a few days. She and DIL have decided they each need a break from the "tyrannical toddler", after a hideous year, and YD wants to go camping with me because she's missed it so much. I am so pleased she wants to! We pencilled in 29th June to 1st July. (DIL planning a long weekend in Lisbon with best friend layer in year) At first, OH was fine with the idea, so I even started to look at camp sites. And wondered whether MMU (7?) might be feasible.  Then, on Sunday, he suddenly said, "I shall get someone to stay with me while you are away with S***". Grrr. Who? I don't suppose for a moment that he remembers this exact same conversation 2 years ago and me not going to Norecambe as a result! 😪 He even offered to pay his brother to come and stay but he wasn't having it. I'm worried he'll pester ES and that will be the end of the potential relationship rebuilding: they never could be left together without falling out!! Grrrrrr.

Rain stopped. Time to go in and feed our faces.

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaaah that's good news Jane, wonderful treatment is working, hope you are feeling better today.

2 on the van? and 2 free swims, woo hoo, annoying that you went along in the first place though but at least they have rectified.

Well floored again by the jab, not as bad as the last time, thank goodness but felt pretty tired........

What was the dessert? Always thinking of my stomach haha.

Have worn my boots already, 4 times, shows you what weather is like, we have had a lot of rain too, they are very comfy so am pleased. Have another 2 pairs (suede) but these ones are leather so much better for all that rain.

Dentist on Fri, we are all at/going haha. ED was there last week and they are not doing polishes or cleaning till July, was looking forward to that..........ah well what's another couple of months?

3 new books, started 2 of them and not impressed, don't know what's wrong with me? Just not gripping enough. Seem to get bored quickly now.

2 lunches booked in next couple of weeks, am delighted for a catch up.

Seem to be using lots of numbers???

GD is with me but is having a nap so am away to do a quick tidy up, once I can remove myself from the CBA (favourite) bench. xx

 

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

All around the houses but I've finally navigated my way back here. Signed in to reply and the website started playing silly b.s: "Welcome, JCJ, you have no saved content" What??! Clicked "subscriptions" tab; same message. What?? Eventually found my way in. 

I'm getting used to the haircut. I think I like it. It certainly tangles less so I don't have to always tie it back but I can when I want to. There'll be less hair to hoover off the carpets too - I'm still moulting thanks to the lovely Tapoxyfen.

Super scan results, Jane; very encouraging and, knowing the chest pains probably aren't anything scary, I'm sure will help them feel better. Cracked ribs heal! I'd resist any temptation to perform cartwheels or handstands for the moment though! 😁

Glad your lido went well, Katy - if a tad slowly; (but that might help reduce SEs?)

Persisting it down here today today and still quite cold. I was out in the garden yesterday, allegedly tidying the borders but it was lovely in the sunshine and out of the wind so I was actually just sitting for ages watching the bees buzzing about. Lovely. They don't care if the borders are untidy! And the hedgehogs love them like that; more places to hide That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I was on the FF bench on Monday evening: mad dash to get dinner, after a zoom call with the girls, and get to the pool on time for 7pm swim. It was closed! They'd let me book and pay for the swim! Grrr. I sent an angry email demanding a refund (and then remembered it's only £2.60! 🤭) I have had an apology and the next 2 Monday night swims have been booked for free.

On Tuesday, a letter arrived addressed to my first name. Oh no! Far too soon to be good news about mammo. Not expecting anything else medical. Plonked onto panic bench but made myself open the envelope. It was my new credit card. Phew! I forgot the banks know me by that name too.

I thoroughly confused YD today. I've ordered some beer to be delivered to their house for DIL's birthday, which is on Wednesday. I was informed it would be delivered on Tuesday so I sent YD the details so she can intercept the parcel. This morning, I received an email, and text, from the delivery company to say it's coming TODAY so I copied the text and WhatsApped it to YD. She received it straight after another message, from the SAME delivery company, telling her that her parcel from K.......(jet wash she had ordered - expected Monday) will be delivered today. Both parcels coming on the same van! What are the chances of that? It took a while for her foggy Saturday morning brain to work that out. 😁

Roast chicken dinner will be in the shed tomorrow. Not sure what dessert yet. 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you like the hair, and you survived the salon!

Hope dentist went well too.

I have to go to the dentist next week too, on instructions from the oncologist.  It seems that the scan showed signs of healing on a vertebrae.  That's good, that there are signs of healing, but having bone mets was news to me!  I had the rest of the scan (abdomen) done on Tuesday and my Onc Nurse and then consultant phoned me Wednesday morning with initial results (how good is that!)  The pleural effusion is slightly smaller... there is healing on the spine... and the liver is improved too.  All in all, the treatment is doing what we want it to do in every area, so that's great news.  As I'd only been on it for just over 2 months when scanned, that's very encouraging.

It is possible that the pain is a cracked rib (which you can do with a cough apparently).  It's been pretty much (bad) all week, but last night seemed better, and early signs are today will be too.  Fingers crossed..

I was on the Wide Awake bench last night, trying to catch a sleep fairy....  one came to see me eventually..

I went down to church yesterday afternoon to bury some ashes for/with a family.  They were in a right state when I got there.  They nearest had come from an hour away, and others from a long way... and, standing looking at the hole, wife said to hubby "you did put the ashes in the car, didn't you?"  "No, I thought you did!!!"  They were mortified... I calmed them down, assured them these things happen in life, and we would re-arrange.  We are meeting again this afternoon!  In the end, we were laughing, and I said "when I write my book......" which made them laugh too....

Hope all's well with you and yours, and the weekend is good.  I'll stock up the shed in a bit...

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Is it done?? Hair chopped?? Do you like it?

Lido went fine, didn't have any side effects until yesterday afternoon, what's that all about? Swear it's different every time, minus was, I was there for about 6 hours arrrgh. Have my 2nd jab this morning. Am hoping no ill effects cause really CBA.

Beautiful sunshine but at the moment oh so cold, it's not good for the bones haha.

Nursery is fine for YD at the moment it's only 10 mins from home and it's lovely that he is being eased in gently. They are building a bond so he feels secure.

The thing that was making me twirly has been settled for the moment, whew!

Just makes life easier, will have to change but it's not just thrust upon us and that can also be eased into place.

Will need to get a move on, want to have at least tidied before I leave, please pull me off my favourite bench xx

Nearly forgot ED has her new soles, she will find out in around 6 months if they are working, fingers crossed xx

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope lido went OK; No dramas; and that the SEs are minimal.

I'm sat in car outside the dentist  (double yellow lines but deploying the blue badge!) waiting for OH. So far they've not even let him in and it's hailing! There's a horrible drilling noise emanating from the vicinity of the building but I'm hoping it's the refurbishments next door! 🥴

I have a hair appointment tomorrow. I am going to brave the "beauty academy" salon (ack!) where one of the girls from my old, closed, place rents a chair. I'm planning on having quite a bit taken off: so it's just over my shoulders. Bit of a change but still long enough to tie back.

Your GS intro to nursery sounds really supportive (but a real pain for the parent having to schlep to and fro?)

DIL has had her work days changed to Tuesday and Wednesday but nursery can't take GD on Tuesdays until next month so YD is taking Tuesdays off through May. She is planning "adventures". Yesterday, they went to the zoo, despite diabolical weather, because it was pre-booked and paid for. Apparently, nearly all the animals were asleep indoors so the highlights for GD were the pigeons and the gift shop!! (Funny isn't it: they can go indoors for the gift shop but not the cafe or animal enclosures?!) I told YD she should have taken GD to the soft toy dept in the big, posh store (I call it the Norwich version of Harrods). GD wouldn't have known the difference! 😜 And there are plenty of pigeons in the city too! 🤣

I hope your uber expensive zoo trip is/was less of a washout, Jane! 🤞

Wishing I'd bought a coffee with me to imbibe whilst I'm waiting. He's having a filling or two so will be some time!

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well, rain did not stop...........argh.

GD here this morning so we have gone to shop nearby and now have plenty milk, woo hoo.

It's meant to start raining again later so had to be quick haha.

Taxi booked, lido tomorrow, purchased sandwich whilst out because they, at smaller hospital don't do sandwiches without butter and sometimes I am starving, do have soup which is always yummy. Always forget to make or buy one............

ED has appt at hospital this morning to have special sole things inserts fitted for neuropathy am hoping this works.

GS has almost started new nursery, they do a fantastic way of introducing children, a week for half an hour each day, then week one hour,  then two, really structured, am well impressed. xx

 

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

My goodness lots going on...........

Hello Revcat, lovely you popping in, so glad you are doing well xx

Jane, hoping your pain is under control, nothing worse. Great there is no clot, def very good news.

You deserve all the pampering enjoy! xx

JCJ, wonderful news regarding son, fingers crossed. Woo hoo you must be so excited about your girls, not long now.

Is your OH on the naughty bench?? Regardless of his motives imagine if you had gone?? Good job he did make contact.

If you had worn tiara.............hoping for speedy and happy results, fingers and toes crossed.

Nature watch indeed haha.

 

Lido this week and jab. Am seriously hoping no side effects, CBA with any haha.

Torrential rain here, was meant to be nipping over to supermarket but won't be now. Rummage in the cupboards and am hoping there are leftovers in the shed xx

 

 

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good grief! What an up and down time you're having, Jane! Emergency department drama sounds really scary. I hope you're not suffering too much pain now and that those close to you are thoroughly pampering you. Take it easy, (even if you're feeling better!) The pamper bench is fully replenished  and awaiting you.

Hedgehog cam produced 70 10 second videos last night: mostly of a pair of the creatures, one circling the other round and round and round for over an hour. He got so excited at one point, he fell off the rockery wall - about 2ft. Got it on film. Hilarious. He was fine. Reappeared in shot a little while later so he must have come around via the steps and lawn. 😂 Later in the night another large hedgehog came. He (presumably) had lighter spines in different places so we've established that there are definitely at least 3 separate animals visiting . I am beyond thrilled. As YD says: we have a hedgehog sanctuary!! ❤️🦔🦔🦔

Waited in for our Zoom call with the girls, this afternoon, but they are out for the day and won't get back before the evening toddler mayhem. Maybe tomorrow..... Or we'll see them in person in 3 weeks anyway. 🤞🏼Yay!!

Roast lamb dinner followed by raspberries, shortbread biscuits, chocolate and cherry ice-cream and raspberry sorbet. In the shed. Help yourself. xx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

hedgehogs!  How brilliant

Good to see you on here again Cat...

Had an adventure last night.... developed serious chest pain (at the back) very quickly, and was advised by the  onc nurse to phone emergency no... and by them to go to ED to check for a clot.

To cut a long story short, no-one in Adult ED or radiology could use my amazing new portocath... felt unsafe at times, feeling light headed on a trolley with sides up, and no way of getting help if it got worse... but I have no clot, no infection, probably the mets causing the pain, and I am home with higher duty pain killers.  I'm trying to manage without the Codeine, cause the treatment makes me constipated, and Codeine does the same... don't fancy a double whammy!  It's scary how quickly it came on - earlier in the week I felt great....

I'm under orders to BE this weekend.  Be fed. Be watered. Be looked after. Be spoiled. Be pampered...  sounds good!

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloooo RevCat! So lovely to "see" you! I am glad you are NED. KTC has mentioned she's met up with you - (back in those carefree days when we were allowed to mingle, do you remember them? 😛) - and I was disappointed that you couldn't make the MMU you planned to come to.

Wishing you all the best.....and continued NED. I'm psyching myself up to stopping Tapoxyfen, after 10 years, next February. I think there will be very mixed emotions: a relief but kind of scary?

I had my mammo this morning. I somehow felt much more exposed. Obviously, I'm used to flashing the mammaries about after all the BC experience but somehow topless with a mask on felt terribly risqué. Perhaps I should have had my tiara on too? 🤭

Hedgehog cam update: great videos this morning of at least 2 different hedgehogs visiting their "snack bar" several times throughout the night! 🦔😁

RevCat
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hello Benchies!  I haven't been this way in a very, very long time - only logged in because I need this ID for some of my volunteering.

I am sorry to read GI Jane's news, but pleased that this safe space is here and that JCJ and KatyTC are still as hilarious as ever. I am one of the lucky ones, finally off the dreaded Ta-poxy-pen after a decade but so grateful to be a NED.  I'm not going to be visiting regularly, but couldn't resist calling to say 'hello'.

Take care, stray strong and know I think of you often.

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

PS forgot to say: while we should have been at the hospital, on Wed, OH got a call from surgery to go for 2nd jab Thursday at 6pm, so that was lucky. He's been duly stabbed! 😁 Another step closer to "normal".

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad your scan is soon, Jane. Fingers crossed there's no nasty surprises. xx

Thanks for your card, Katy. 😁

OH got the letter, today, confirming his consultant appointment for 8th December. I put it on the calendar! I don't think there's any point in asking for a cancellation because I think this is the next time she's at our nearest hospital - and a trip to the main hospital, 30 miles away, is far too stressful to wish upon ourselves (him), especially with the diabolical parking situation there! There's no urgent need to see her: the meds seem to be controlling most of the symptoms.... for the moment.

OH did get a birthday text from ES this morning!! That is amazing. It's years since that's happened. Maybe we might actually get to see him before too much longer - although he'll be shocked at the difference in his dad since he last saw him - physically and mentally!

The girls are coming for the weekend of 21st May, just 3 weeks away. Hopefully. Woohoo! So excited. Got to try to get the advent calendar finished: 1 1/2 pockets and 11 ornaments to do; should be manageable.

Set up the wildlife camera trap on Wednesday. I got the angle wrong so the only film I got was (very unflattering taken with infra red light!) of me coming out, in my dressing gown, to take a picture, with my phone, of the hedgehog, which was chomping happily on the food I put out for it. Irony? There was a also a video of a greenfinch on the bird feeders, but that's something we see every day anyway!

Last night I repositioned the camera, but put it in the conservatory pointing out through the window at the hedgehog feeding station. Zilch. And there should at least have been film of me putting the food out! I guess the motion sensors don't work through glass? Or I did something daft setting the timer? Ah well, I'll try again tonight. 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh how GRIM!!!  You (one) gets all worked up and......  So sorry that happened.  December feels like a long way away, and you were hoping for support/help.  Can you phone someone to get on a cancellation list?

I got a scan appointment through today - for the original date at the end of next month!  I rang Radiology Reception and explained and asked if last week's request for a CT sooner was on the system... she came back with a cancellation for next week!!!

We discovered Lidl this morning.... a bit further away than we normally go, but so much cheaper and lots of different things...  Having been to the charity shop first, I ran out of steam and left OH to pay for it all and  unload it.  That's it for today... on the K.... bench....  I will look up West with Giraffes........

Terrible 2s x 3 sounds exhausting, shall I budge up?

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Set alarm. Dragged bod out of bed, much earlier than lockdown retirement has required for months, to hear OH on phone. Oh no! He's cancelling appointment. Came downstairs to hear him battling with hospital switchboard because he's trying to check if it's still on, but asking about PD nurse instead of consultant - she's based somewhere else entirety! - and doesn't know which department he's supposed to be visiting. I found the letter reeled off his hospital number and they said the appointment was cancelled ages ago because consultant isn't doing her clinic today; she's on call at another hospital miles away! He should have had a letter. He may have done and not read it properly or bothered to cross out the entry on calendar - or throw out the appointment letter!!! Or maybe it never came. Anyway, her next clinic is December 8th, so he'll be sent another appointment in the post. All that angst for nothing! Perhaps I should have rung to check before even mentioning it to him.

I took a mugatea, a slice of cold pizza and my kindle back to bed. I'm reading West with Giraffes: A Novel by Lynda Rutledge. It's got me hooked. Likeable characters. 

Now I'm on the CBA bench: wasn't expecting to be here this morning and can't think what I should be doing!

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy Birthday😀!! Woo hoo for you, sounds like a very good day.

Fabulous regarding your son, fingers crossed everything falls into place.

Hope you are ok for OH's appt, you were consuming a lot of glitterberry last night. Seriously hope all goes well today.

Wow you have a busy day Jane.

Thank you about YD, we will see, stomach is still twirling.

My goodness the terrible two's have really appeared, all three seem to be throwing strops or being super clingy..........

Am busy cleaning up today, perhaps nip to supermarket much later, will see because am not desperate. If I do go means I have less to do on Fri which def would benefit, will sit for a while and ponder xx

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope arrangements can be OK for YD...

and ES! What a treat! I hope bridges can indeed be built, and that he thinks of his dad this week too.

Hope the appointment goes really well today, that you are heard and helped..... well done with the timing.. tough call to make.

Pizza sounds yummy...

Pilates this morning... pedicure this afternoon... sounds like a good day.....

"work" in between....

take care... J xx

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Mmmmm mushroom soup. Yummy.

Those boots aren't really joined at the knee; that's just the camera angle but that picture reminded me of the knee high tights and made me laugh.

I hope things work out for your YD, Katy, without having to make unwanted changes.

I've had a lovely day. Amazing surprise text from ES. He not only remembered my birthday but sent a photo of him (he's always HATED having his picture taken!!) and his latest girlfriend..... Of whom we knew nothing as he's rather disowned us. I'm hoping this is a sign that bridges can be built. Fingers crossed he sends a message for his dad on Friday, too.

OH has bought me a trail/wildlife camera - at my suggestion - so we can see video of the hedgehog that I know visits our garden at night. I often put dried mealworms, peanuts and water out for it. Anyway, this morning, before I'd even opened my presents, there were TWO hedgehogs strolling around the garden as bold as brass in broad daylight. "Up yours fancy camera trap!"

Ordered pizza (dotted tiles pub game), online, using my phone, from the carpark outside swimming and it arrived at our house 5 minutes after we got home. Brilliant. Very delicious and hopefully I won't suffer too much as I ordered low fat cheese on one of them. I also ordered low fat choc cherry ice cream (B&Js) Yum. Leftovers in shed along with sherry fruit cake. All washed down with a, rare treat, glass of white zinfandel (me) alcohol free beer (him). 

It won't be 3 takeaways in a week this year because his birthday is on Friday when we'll be having chippies anyway. 😁

I waited until we'd finished eating to finally tell OH about his consultant appointment tomorrow morning. He's fine about it, very grateful that I didn't tell him before (phew!) and hasn't got time to work himself up into a panic about it.

All my colleagues from school wished me happy birthday in our WhatsApp group which was a lovely surprise - (especially as they didn't remember last year when it was 'the big one' and I was still working with them!!)

YD was going to phone tonight but she's just messaged me (8pm) to say they've only just got GD to bed, haven't had their tea yet and have been up since 5:30am. No worries. Tomorrow will be better anyway because we can tell her what PD doc said. 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Recognised you straight away JCJ, you are certainly looking fab!

And the hat? Did you knit yourself?

Love the boots, they will go superbly well with my dress, woo hoo.

Will be soooooooooooo pretty............

£200??? Wow had no idea it was that expensive but as you say worth the memories.

Lots of purchases JCJ, remember and do treat yourself, birthday and all.

It's been raining on and off here, very windy and grey again, yuck.

On the positive do not have to go out at all. We planned to take kiddiewinks out but between the weather and their grumpy moods no point.

One sound asleep the other excited by nursery rhymes.

Am on the sick to my stomach bench, have been doing lots of organising for YD and the one thing that she didn't want changed may have to change, this will lead to all sorts and it has left such a sinking feeling. xx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

The dress is amazing!  I love bright colours!  Not at all sure how you walk in those denim boot/jeans!!!  I'd be flat on my face!  CanI pass on the hat???? 😂😂 

A new birdbath sounds like a good idea!  My big spend/treat is I'm thinking of taking the family to the zoo when they come down.  3 concessionary tickets, one adult and one child = nearly £200!!!!!  It won't be any cheaper next year.... and I think making good memories is important, with or without health issues.

Spent a lovely afternoon yesterday in my old schoolfriends' garden, basking in the sunshine.  They have a corner that's out of the wind, so having gone dressed in LOTS of layers, I was peeling them off one after the other!  today is cold and it's a soup day, so there's fresh mushroom soup in the shed, with homemade bread...

no word about a scan yet...

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What a stunning frock, Katy! You will be the belle of the ball especially with these boots (knee highs! 😂) and this hat (I'm modelling it - complete with lockdown hairy face 😛) that I've found for you!

Grrrrr. It won't let me put the pictures in. I'll try later.

Birdbath news: it's still leaking! B****r! Only the bottom 1/2" of water stays in; an improvement but not good enough. I'll have to buy a new one. Birthday present to myself, along with a new thumb splint (much comfier than the old ones) and a digital tyre pressure gauge. Spoiling myself?!!

I made a sherry fruit cake for our birthdays but I won't attempt to put 131 candles on it (70 for him... you do the maths!!) as modern firemen's uniforms aren't that attractive any more! 🤭

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Dazzling or what????? xx

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katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hopefully it's just one of those things Jane, they are being wonderfully efficient.

Thank you for all the food, am meant to be calming down on consumption...........

Ooooh a party soon, am gonna search for a new spectacular dress, woo hoo.

 

Had a walk with GS yesterday, we didn't get that far because of the waterway in front of home. He is fascinated throwing small sticks and stones in the water and could spend all day doing so. After 1 and a half hours time was up, tantrum commenced so sympathy for your girls. Luckily didn't last long, just fight getting him in buggy arrrrrrrrrrgh.

It was really warm here yesterday, today it's grey, grey, grey, yuck.

Our shops reopen today, seems soooooooooo very long this time. xx 

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Well, cancer is a roller coaster isn't it?  The lovely nurse who did my injections on Thursday agreed the variation in breathe/cough was probably normal, but it could be an indicator of a clot on the lungs, to which one is prone on this treatment, so she did another blood test to rule it out.  She phoned at nearly 7pm Friday evening (tying up loose ends before she went home/annual leave for a week) to say that the levels were slightly raised, which also could be normal because of the cancer, BUT she had spoken with consultant who has requested a CT scan to make sure.  It'll be the full CT that's due end May, not just a lung one... so I'm sitting on the Nervous Bench waiting for an appointment.  Daughter says they probably won't leave it too long if they are considering a clot...

I've left a delicious pud in the shed - blackcurrant fool.... it's tasty and refreshing and surely the fruit compensates for the cream??!!!

Delighted the boots are good - still need them here, despite the sun...

ttfn

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Great new Jane! With your "extraordinary" bloods you'll be keeping the beast at bay for a good while yet. Good to hear liver function is doing so well too! 😀

Glad you like your boots, Katy; buying them should hasten the arrival of warmer weather.... but I won't put mine away and get my sandals out just yet. Still very chilly in the evenings here, despite lots of sunshine in the days.

Good that your "normality" is resuming, KTC. We've got a full on week ahead: both our birthdays, 3 swimming sessions (or maybe 4: not decided about Thursday yet - I might go for a walk in the bluebell woods instead), his PD consultant appointment and my mammo. I may book a hair appointment for while he's swimming on Tuesday..... if I can brave the poncy salon where one of the girls from my old, closed, place now rents a chair. I'm considering having quite a lot cut off so it's just past my shoulders rather than waist length. I still want to be able to tie it up.

Beef casserole, mash and peas in the shed. I've dragged the CBA bench alongside so you don't have to expend too much bebotheredness to get it. Roast pork etc tomorrow. Don't know what dessert will be: possibly "lemon stuff" (a variation on "pink stuff": raspberries, raspberry jelly and evap milk whizzed and set together over a buttery biscuit base. This version swaps lemon juice and lemon jelly in for the raspberry elements, but it doesn't sound very appealing to call it "yellow stuff"?!)

Your GD's antics made me laugh, GIJ. After all those years working in Primary schools, I saw it both as a TA (instantly filling in a "green form") and as a parent (acute embarrassment /hope they believe me).

YD has told me today that GD is being a bit of a monster this week: she's hit the terrible twos with a vengeance! They're being run ragged and I can't offer to give them a break! 😒

I'm on tenterhooks waiting the 72 hours for the birdbath to dry and set properly before I can put water in and see if I've fixed the leak. I hope so because my hands are still sore from opening that 🤬 lid!! Tea time tomorrow. 🤞🏼

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

That's fabulous news Jane, you must be super pleased😊

What's GD like?? Red faces all round hahaha.

Boots arrived yesterday morning, only ordered prior afternoon, love them! 

Not the same for the two pairs of trousers.............picked up and going back asap, what an unflattering mess, was all excited until I tried them on, accentuated all things you don't want accentuated, arrrrrrrrrgh.

Have GS here, YD is off to an outside event, safe distance, etc, he has turned into wild boy so hands are full, haha.

Sun is shining but it's not warm, brrrrrr,

Am booked in for a lunch woo hoo, not until May but am excited, last time was Dec, such a long time ago.

Loads happening soon, lido, dentist, kinda back to a some kinda of normal?

Anything exciting to read?

Am sooooooooooooo looking forward to Sunday dinner this week, will be hanging around the CBA bench, then loitering around the shed ufn xx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

OOOH!  New boots!  I love shoes/boots..

those caps are so annoying aren't they?  Hopefully you will never have to go to eye hosp.... do you have anyone who could give you a lift, if absolutely necessary?

The paint not matching is a B*****r

My life is fairly ordinary by comparison!  The breathing got worse, the cough got worse, so I feared the worst!  However, daughter says any lung condition leads to these things being variable day to day, and she's a respiratory specialist physio, so she knows about these things.  I should have phoned her before I booked the church for my funeral!!!!!  As it happens, the blood test results this week are, in the words of the specialist oncology nurse "extraordinary".  My immune system is that of someone not on chemo and the liver function tests are down to within normal levels, which she says is a very good sign that the treatment is doing what we want it to do.  The Lovely lady got the consultant to prescribe "just in case" antibiotics in case the UTI comes back.

Lovely sunshine here today, but the wind is parky...  time to get off the cba bench I think, but can I be bothered????

Your laugh for the day.... DIL collected GD from nursery.  GD was accompanied by a teacher.  "show mummy your picture and tell her what it is"..   "it's your bottom mummy".  OK.. now show mummy y our other picture..... what is it?   "It's a vagina"!!!!!!  "Is that language you would normally use at home?"  "Yes, we just name the body parts as they are".... "OK, that's great that you do that, only she said that she'd been looking at them on the computer"......  "VOLCANOES!  We were looking at VOLCANOES"  One red faced mummy!!!!

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

You should have went swimming arrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Gosh I hate days that turn out like that, so frustrating.

Good OH and his bomb site painting has worked well and not even more messier than before.......

Boots are not warmer but h*****, just really liked style and colour.

Still not tried on new top but will because am nipping into town today and I can go to post office.

Mum had an issue with her eyes and was taken by ambulance, so urgent, everything was checked and she was ok, such a fright though.

Bleph still continues, am assuming now will have to bathe each day forever, bah!

Fingers crossed there is nothing to worry about with you.

Do you have appt for mammo?

Looks like it may be a lovely day here, still chilly at the moment but sun is shining.

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

WooHoo! New boots! I hope they fit and meet expectations. What are they?

My eye-wateringly expensive E*** ("sound reverberation") boots are at least 5 years old and still look new, after daily autumn/winter wear and being reheeled at least once,  so more expensive often works out more economical than cheap footwear.

Tyres sorted.....eventually. After lots of faffing (and me being useless!), I finally sorted it out.

Decided to stay home instead of swimming (after sorting tyres) so I could get the birdbath sealed while I had all day to do it. 2 hours later, I'm still struggling to get the *&*^%$ lid off the $$%&&%# bottle of sealant: one of those medicine bottle lids that you push down and turn. I always have trouble with those! Every time I thought I'd done it (with Arthur getting worse in both hands with each attempt!) I'd hear that annoying click, click, click as the lid refused to part company with the can. Grrrr

Got it off 20 minutes before it was time to fetch OH back. Threw on the first coat of sealant and got in the car. So much for a quiet few hours to myself?! 🙄

The 4 coats are done now and, hopefully, the birdbath will be watertight again. 72 hours to wait until I can test it.

OH finished painting the desk. Not too many disasters (I did have to wipe white, painty fingerprints off the black swivel chair, but fortunately it's faux leather - and I found it while the paint was still wet - so it came off OK!)

By the way, Katy, "A little mess" is NOT the way I'd describe the bomb site of chaos he creates in that room!! But at least it's not all over the house.....just his usual clutter.

I've just looked it up and, as I feared, the eye hospital is in the middle of the country's 2nd biggest city! Definitely won't be driving there - not that I would with eyesight problems anyway. A train journey and/or expensive taxi ride then. Not that I'll probably ever need to go there (if that isn't cavalierly tempting fate?!)

This is the 2nd time I've typed all this: pressed something on my phone whilst reaching for mugatea and the 1st attempt completely vanished!! Grrrr

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have the boots, woo hoo!!!

Not physically but ordered, they are for autumn/winter months, very pleased😂 

Searched for ages, found them, a little more expensive but they did have an offer on, am expecting them to last for years, so worth it. Hopefully last as long as your slippers haha xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh my...............do you know where you would be going??

Yes, it's a great idea to scare the living daylights out of you!

Hope you have decided to stay at home and just enjoy the quiet.

Are tyres ok?

Better one room is a little messy than them all, indeed.

GD is with me having a nap, so all good here.

Purchased a light rain jacket, came today and I love it, also a top but not sure so will try on later.

My stomach is also expanding rapidly and it's not pretty so choc gingers will need to stop along with all the other tasty treats I consume arrrrrrrrrrgh. Now sun is shining I won't be able to get away with my big coats that hide everything.

Pair of boots I really covet, not to be though, sold out all over, they are so, so pretty, ah well.

Shops open here on Mon, will feel extremely odd, am going to avoid until things calm down, not really that many left to reopen which is pretty sad xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Caravan sounds idyllic, Jane; I hope the family are able to stay with you too this year. Something lovely to look forward to. 

What a pain about the paint, Katy. I was lucky I got away with it with the wool. 

Opticians appointment yesterday and she scared me by saying I now have the beginnings of a cataract in my left eye as well as the one I knew about in my right. She also said I have some degeneration in the right eye and that if I experienced any sudden deterioration in my sight, flashing lights or more floaters, I am to go straight to the eye hospital!! What?!! My mind is in overdrive thinking "Where is the eye hospital?" "How will I get there - I surely won't be able to drive and OH can't!" Then she said my vision hasn't changed at all since last year... or the year before.... so my eye health must be OK and, if it wasn't for the tamoxifen, she'd be happy to wait 2 years to see me again. So why did she have to scare me with talk of eye hospitals??!! I asked if it was just an age thing (feeling especially geriatric!) or tamoxifen related and she said probably both. Ah well only 10 more months taking it. (Though I'll be terrified to stop after 10 years of having it as reassurance!!)

OH has his appointment with neurologist next Wednesday, at the hospital, and this one hasn't been changed to a phone consultation like last year's. I don't know if OH is remembering and I'm wondering when to remind him as it will make him anxious. He'd rather do it by phone but I'd like her to see him as she was the one who improved his meds and she probably should see how much weight he's put on as a result. She will also be able to test his mental faculties better in person: I'm worried about his memory getting worse!

He's decided to repaint the desk, that ES custom built years ago, in the "guest" bedroom (which is now barely suitable for guests... even the girls, who are the only people who ever use it.... because it's full of his drawing/painting/book making cr*p EVERYWHERE - including all over the bed!! After I lovingly decorated and furnished it for them. 😖

I have to just grit my teeth and be grateful he's got that room to play in so that mess isn't all over the rest of the house - and he's out of my hair - but I'm dreading the mess he's likely to make with brilliant white eggshell paint and a lilac carpet!! 

Just done the supermarket shop. By the time I'd put it all away I was ready to collapse on the K bench. To think I used to do that AFTER a day teaching!! How?! 

Car suddenly flashed a warning about my tyre pressure, so I've got to investigate that before I have to take OH to the library tomorrow. Still can't decide whether to book a swim or enjoy 3 hours with the house to myself. I have bought some stuff to reseal the birdbath and it needs 4 coats with a maximum of 4 hours in between, so I'll need a whole day to do it. 

Right time to cobble dinner together: leftover roast chicken, mushrooms, pasta and bought carbonara sauce with a bag of salad. Simples. My reward for doing the shopping. 

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hahaha what are kiddiewinkles like??

Love it..........

Also love stilton but has to be a certain make which was only sold at a butchers in a very fancy jar like thing, best I have ever tasted. All the rest have no real taste.

Yep agree with JCJ, do take things easier and fingers crossed you can just putter around without any issues.

 

Have had a disaster here, arrrrrrgh. Bought new paint to do my little touch ups, threw old paint out, then started, little marks all disappeared, hurrah. An hour later distinct blotches all over the place, complete mess. So ended up having to paint some of the walls, honest to goodness didn't even think colour would be soooooooooooo different.............like your wool JCJ? Still blotchy some places but different light hits the walls not so noticeable.

Nipped over to supermarket with GD this morning, she makes a crying, moany noise all the way round........went with GS a few weeks ago and he literally screamed the whole time.........exit red faced Nannie...........naughty babies who now think they should walk all the time, soon perhaps but not quite yet!

Dull day here but def not as cold, muggatea time, it's choc gingers again, just can't resist them. xx

 

 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I hate stilton, but the soup is great!    The roast chicken was good too...  I've just popped in some home made lemon curd.....

I was feeling so pleased with myself at how I was doing.  Got brought up short yesterday.  It was a glorious day, and I walked down to church at a "normal" pace.  Couldn't talk when I got there, I was so out of breath.  Then, coming home, which is more uphill, I was a distance behind another lady from the congregation.  I couldn't have caught her up if I'd tried, but I just plodded firmly and puffily.  I stayed the same distance behind her all the way... and she is 88 and slow!!!!!!!!  Not good for the ego!!!

Grandchildren are hilarious.  The caravan is just north of Bamburgh, on a  small, private site, overlooking a tidal estuary which is a bird sanctuary.  A good friend owns one of the 'vans.  They're not rented out at all, but they can let non family members stay for up to 2 weeks each year.  We get those 2 weeks!!  Heaven.... Son & family live in Newcastle, so for the last few years they've joined us for a week.  Last yaer they were only allowed to visit (Covid) but we got permission for little one to stay overnight.  That was their second visit, and as the afternoon went on I checked that she really was happy to stay with us.. yes.. you're happy for Mummy and Daddy to go home?  "Bye bye Mummy.  Bye bye Daddy"  Priceless!

Have a good week.....xx

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks for the homemade soup and bread. I don't usually like Stilton but in Benchland it tastes great!!

Woohoo for feeling better and treatment working! Such good news. Don't overdo it tho'. Rest when you need to.

Also fab news that you can go to "your" idyllic Northumberland spot. Whereabouts is it? We stayed, twice - each time for 3 weeks - on a (VERY basic, no longer in existence) camp site between Alnwick and Rothbury. We loved the moors and the vast, practically empty beaches. It was always drier, if colder, there than further West. If it was nearer, we'd definitely go back.

Zoom chat with the girls this afternoon, which was lovely.  I had to laugh when, after about half an hour, GD was starting to show off and get a bit silly so YD said we'd better end the call so she could have her tea. Instantly, GD said, "Bye Nana, bye Grandad" and waved at the camera. Normally, she has to be cajoled into saying goodbye but today it was a clear "Go away Nana and Grandad, I want my tea!" Adorable. Couldn't possibly take offence. 😍

Talking of tea/dinner: roast chicken and all the accompaniments in shed along with homemade apple pie, ice cream and salted caramel sauce. 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

it was me with the sparklers... sorry... but it was such FUN!!!

Holidays, mammo... no holidays.... sore thumb.. and SWIMMING????  Go you!  I've given up on the hairy legs...and am still wondering why the first hair to return after chemo was the bit outside the bikini line?  Someone's having a laugh at us...

I've been seeing lots of people in the garden ( one at a time, I hasten to add) which has been wonderful, if cold!

We have just heard that we can go back to our favourite spot in Northumberland this summer, so I'm very excited.  We borrow a friend's caravan in an idyllic spot.

I'm feeling so much better - almost no side effects now (just a little fatigue) and I feel better than I have for months, as the cough and breathlessness are almost gone.  I'm assuming that means the treatment is working!

Back to the unpaid work a bit now (no vicar in the village)....

Homemade broccoli and stilton soup is there, with fresh home made bread if you want to warm up.  Soup made with creme fraiche rather than cream, and it's yummy....

 

ttfn

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

How disappointing about your holiday excitement being dashed, KTC. Perhaps that one wasn't to be. I'm not sure I'd brave going abroad in the current situation (not that we do anyway these days: OH couldn't cope!)

I had an email from the cottage company, yesterday, asking for details of all occupants of the cottages I've booked and whether we're from the same or different households/bubbles so that they can ensure government rules are adhered to.... and offer refunds/rescheduling if necessary. We'll be OK, if the guidelines don't change.

Parmigiana and garlic bread in the shed for dinner/tea. Help yourself if you feel so inclined: it's one of my new - trying to eat less meat - veggie recipes. Also buttered, toasted teacakes. Yum. 

Swimming was great on Monday: the first couple of strokes were such bliss, then my arms started screaming at me but that eased off after a while. It didn't make my thumb.... or hip.... hurt so that was a relief. I didn't enjoy the maintenance involved in being seen in public in a minimal attire though: had to dispose of my hairy shorts!! - not shaved since C-word Eve, the last time I swam, and of course the hairs on my legs are still very dark - not like the grey on my head!! I was annoyed at myself for needing to bother: after all, men wouldn't so why should we? Couldn't bring myself to brazen it out. (YD has same opinion about bras, but I definitely can't go there!! 😱)

It was lovely to get rid of OH for an hour on Tuesday for his swimming too. Meanwhile, I did a quick fruit & veg shop and pottered around the town. He went to the library today, for 3 hours and I treated myself to a visit to the garden centre and takeaway sandwich lunch, then enjoyed some quiet time at home. 3 hours went FAR too quickly!! My opticians appointment is booked for while he's swimming next Tuesday.

Mammo booked for 9:34am Saturday 1st May. Oh my! I'm not normally up, never mind dressed, at that time these days - especially on a Saturday!! Still, it's better than stressing about it all day. Now I've just got to stop myself getting anxious... Jittery bench here I come!

My thumb is slightly improved - as long as I wear the splint if I'm doing something that might make me bend it frequently. It's very annoying when it clicks and/or locks, though, and sometimes hurts - not as much as the right one did.... yet! I'm hoping that, being the left hand this time and likely to get less use, I might get away with avoiding surgery. Even if it has to come to that, it'll be a long wait anyway with the current backlog!!