Woo - what a lot going on at the Benches! Definitly NO cooling off in the lake!!!! Cackles, glad the counselling was helpful.. interestingly, I had a play with some clay the other week, and made a "figure". It was a she... (can't do legs, so did a skirt!) I stuck arms on the figure... then shoulders... then the back of the shoulders,and finally tried the boobs. COULD I give her two???? No matter ho much extra clay I put on, she was lopsided! weird! I also did a "freestyle" painting - which turned out to be all BCC colours and shapes. doubly weird.... Normal? Me? Yes! whatever that is! Good luck at school today JCJ - going to a Governor's presentation at OFSTED at lunchtime!
take care ladies - no paddling.... Paralympics bench is frustrating and inspiring by turns. Recording's a good idea!
Helloooo Katy and FF! I was getting lonely! Practising my flushing all by myself in Benchland! I have to remember the alligators are there, and not try to cool off in the lake!
I'm back at school tomorrow too. 2 training days before the kids return. 8-week half term so it's going to be tough for me, having only done 1 full week since February. Bit apprehensive, to be honest, but we have booked that Scottish Highlands coach trip for half term (for our 30th wedding anniversary - postponed from June because I'd only just finished rads and was worried I'd be too tired to appreciate it!) so I've got somethinbg to look forward to, to keep me going!
Hi Katy glad to see you, Sorry to hear you've been flushing buckets. Now I'm taking the the Ta'poxy'fen ( see I told you I'd call it that from now on) I'm waiting for that to kick in.
Talking of bumps to the head, couple of months ago I left a wall cupboard door open in the kitchen, turned round and bashed into said door mopped up copious amount of blood and still have scar on upper eyelid.
Yes, I've had the bad days they're now gone I'm fine again tonight . This week I'm back at school and also back to my other job so life is now back to what it was before bc. So seven months on from dx normality? No I don't think so, never again will I take my health for granted, every twinge will be what if?? But I will live my life to the full and enjoy it.
Obviously I'm on an upswing tonight. I reserve the right to be miserable again later!!
Helloooooooooo!! FF, I'm here, have been concentrating on my flushing abilities, have been really good for the last couple of weeks and this weekend have been flushing buckets what's that all about?????
When I'm not turning red and distinctly wet, body has decided to lower my temperature so my teeth have been chattering!
Could it have been the bump to the head??? Any ideas welcome.
Sometimes you just have bad days FF, hope you feel better soon, things have a habit of catching up with us when we least expect it, take care all xx
I'm on the "lonely" bench. where are you all?
I just catch a quick flash of blue now and again as CM roars past.
Grumpy - horrible for you - hope you feel more positive soon and can get them to do something to help you. To be led to make your decisions on certain information and then find it was misleading must be devastating.
JCJ - Ta'poxy'fen - love it,I shall always call it that now. Especially as it think it's made me sit on the "bloomin' miserable bench" for nearly three days!! I am a glass half full person and don't do depressed but I've had to be a good actress for the family this weekend.
Thinking of you Grumpy and hoping you can get yourself to the right place to make your important decision, so that you do what's right for you! Just put your health first because you're still you - no matter what shape!
Hope today was better for you Katy. Your positivity made me smile! 🙂
I've just collected my next prescription for the lovely Ta'poxy'fen and it's APS this time, not Wokhart that I've had all the time up to now, so fingers crossed the SEs don't get any worse.
I was a good girl and walked the mile each way to fetch my prescription (all up hill on the way!), so I now reserve the right to sit on the Paralympics bench and watch TV all evening! 🙂
I've cunningly recorded it all, so I can skip all the ads and incessant pontificating and nattering and actually watch the sport! I was on the FF bench last night trying to watch. !0 mins jabbering, 3 mins ads and then 10 more mins opinionating and recapping what I'd ALREADY SEEN HALF AN HOUR EARLIER, then 3 more mins ads. ARGHHH!
Going to be more chilled tonight. Pass the non-hot-flush-inducing chilled alcoholic beverage and the calorie free chips and cake!
Good evening Ladies
Had a good session with the CancerCare counsellor today.
Realised I am STILL angry about false hopes for corrective surgery, and I've got to dump it before I can move on to the next bit.
And I'm so sad about it all, so I need to get a grip on that, because I can't make a decision about what/if surgery to have while I'm in a tizz. Not good to make important decisions that can't be reversed when my brain is all over the place. Why is it that 'cancer' can mess with our brains more than our bodies????
Going to sit on the Squiffy Tincture Bench for a while, then go to bed........
Thank you again to all you ladies who understand and give support - it's invaluable.
Great start to the day, YD phoned and said did I know where blah, blah was, from the airport at 5.30 am, thank you darling daughter. Next went outside to put something in the bin, heard a buzzing around my ear and lo and behold a wasp!
Whacked it away and came inside, heard buzzing again it had come in with me aaaaaaaaaargh. Wasp flew to window, tried to get it out, opened the window and was swiping madly, it fell on the ground and as I bent to pick it up hit my head off the corner of the window, got wasp out, but have a giant egg sized lump on the back of my head!
And all before 8 am, good job I'm staying positive! xx
Hi Revcat - yes nuked boobs can have surgery if new tissue is being used i.e. lipofill (new fat) or recon (new skin and muscle), without wound healing problems. The new tissue has a good blood supply which aids healing etc. However reduction surgery is a bit iffy, NOT IMPOSSIBLE, because it relies on stitching nuked skin together and that has poor blood supply so may have healing problems. The naughty bit is that no-one explained this to me before the original surgery and rads..... If I'd had double MX I could have had double recon, but because I had double WLEs tweaking is contra-indicated!!! How daft is that - the really invasive major surgery is OK but less invasive op rules out (almost) any future nip and tuck. Now I don't believe in going down the major invasion route when it wasn't medically necessary, and I was always re-assured that surgery after all treatment would be possible - difficult but possible. Anyhow as I've said I'm not angry about it now, just very sad.... so when I've cleared my mind on that I'll be able to make a decision. I'm trying to see my lopsided boobs as badges of survival like my tattoo dots, but it's hard going.
Thanks to all ladies for their concern and support - it's great.
Will post tomorrow after I've seen the counselling lady, and am taking a few tinctures tonight to help me sleep.
And anyhow the Girls don't care what Mammy's boobs look like - they just want food, walks and cuddles!!!!
Hope you all had lovely hols/breaks, weather has been so awful. It would be lovely if we could have some prolonged sunshine, it just makes you feel so much happier.
Grumpy hope whoever you talk to makes you feel better about things, thinking of you and sending you hugs.
I'm on the "head and stomach doing somersaults, not in a good way" bench, was fine yesterday, today secretly screaming inside........................the waiting begins, trying soooooooooo hard to stay well away from the CSL bench xx
Back from another camping trip yesterday and everything put away, except for the bedding, which is in the washing machine! Another 11 months until I can go again :(, (all being well!) Let's hope it's a less traumatic 11 months, eh?
Rain lashing down again, so I don't feel TOOO bad being back at home in the dry and warm (too warm, but that's just me?? :))
Time for a coffee and a wee sit on the CBA bench for a while. This holiday lark is exhausting!
Thanks for the macaroons Vercors, my favourite! I make them sometimes at home, crikey I get in a right mess....macaroon mixture everywhere, usually because I'm laughing at myself so much! They never look quite as good as the professional ones, but they taste good....and of course the kitchen gets a good clean afterwards!!!
Hope the men in white coats are good to you 🙂
Now settled on the time for myself bench with cuppa and macaroons, the ironing can wait a while 😄
Thanks Madjock. I have a laptop with a full size keyboard including number pad cos I dislike fiddly little keys! Nardini's is a (locally) famous icecream place in Largs but recently opened a branch in Glasgow.
Oooh, such fun finding new and interesting symbols to type.... so now I can really have music in Benchland ♪♫♫♪
You can get the full list of ASCII codes if you google ASCII keys.
I'm assuming you use a laptop. To use laptop keyboard
1) The number lock, top row right must be on, a little light should come on.
2) On your keyboard there should be small numbers on keys 7, 8. 9, U, I, O, J, K, L, M (small numbers should read 7, 8, 9, 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 0, these are the number keys you use).
3) In theory all you have to do is hold down the ALT key and type the key code for the symbol you want - µ is (ALT 230).
This works on my daughter’s laptop but not sure if it works on all. That’s it simple pimple. If you're using a PC with full keyboard just use the ALT key and numeric keypad but number lock must still be on.
I've never heard of Nardini's ice cream, but then it's a good many years since I left Glasgow.
Just remembered - if you normally use Microsoft Word go to insert special character (symbol whatever) if you click on the character you want it actually tells you what the ASCII code is - save you reading through enormous list of key codes and just keep a note of the ones you need/want
A mean machine in benchland? All this activity while I was away. Calory free, macaroons, carambars and wine in the benchland larder. On the relaxed bench after a three weeks break. I almost forgot about cancer while I was away until the last night, when I cried For two hours non stop? I don't know why. Today was back to reality with herceptin, tomorrow Zoladex and next week a portacath fitted. I am back in the men in white coats roundabout. O well. I hope everyone is keeping well.
Well said Pargayan! Cancer is so not a competition - that's the whole point of this thread. No one would wish their diagnosis or side effects or whatever on anyone, not even their worst enemy. It sounds like you'ver had a really horrible time Grumpy, and I'm a bit confused - people do have tweaks to nuked boobs (I was offered lipo-sculpting to make mine bigger but said no). Really hope that in time you might get closer to a matched pair (my own waiting list wait grows ever longer!).
Now then, borrow my biggest thwacking ladle and thwack that guilt right into the lake! Then reward yourself with a wee snifter or little quelquechose a manger.
Madjock - thanks so much for the lovely µ oooh, so what is the ASCII combination, I so love keyboard short cuts and get very frustrated with newer software that is more and more mouse driven.
Back to work tomorrow. Had a lovely break enjoying places on my doorstep 🙂 ended up with Nardini's ice-cream which Scottish Benchies will understand.
Grumpy - Despite thinking you have had a straightforward time, you have still been diagnosed and gone through treatment so throw that guilt in the lake where it belongs. Hope you get some help from the counsellor and eventually get the nip n tuck you need x
Ladies - on the Weepy Wobbly Bench today re: corrective surgery. It's a long story, and has been a battle to get the onc to agree to a nip and tuck, so I've been very ANGRY because I always believed things could be 'put right' after all my treatment and was only told different 12 months after surgery and r/t. Anger dumped in lake for alligators to eat, and now I just feel so so sad cos I believe I would have made a different decision about my treatment plan, and opted for the nip and tuck prior to r/t, hence no possibility of problems with wound healing etc. as could happen now. Seeing the CancerCare counsellor on Thurs and hoping she can help me to deal with the sadness - then I may be able to make a good decision about my lop-sided boobs.
Oh deary me - and I still feel guilty cos my BC has been fairly straightforward, NED, no chemo required, s/e from drugs going away etc. when other folk have a much rougher scenario to cope with.
I shall now make tea, then do some housework as therapy.....
FF, a Sportster is a "little" Harley, but I've got a big one (phnar, phnar, ooer missus!) with an engine bigger than my daughter's car! Took the thing out yesterday and it decided to die on me. Quick phonecall to significant other, who made a few suggestions. Now have assorted further purchases for the toy, to try to get it more reliable. As with a car, when you buy a second-hand one, you can expect to have to spend more money on it, but hey, I knew that when I bought it. (Got it working again with assistance so still love it.)
Just off to walk the pooch round the common on the edge of benchland, before it starts to rain, so if there's anything loud and blue tearing round benchland it's not me, and please call the police because someone's nicked me bike!
Here's a couple of µ µ's for you. You have to be old like me to remember the old ascii keyboard codes! I still use a PC so my keyboard still has the numeric keypad at the side, not sure if it works on laptop.
Take care of them
Katy glad your geggies (teggies) are now settled down and temperature resistant again.
JCJ sea-bathing in a thunderstorm, bloomin' ector, that deserves a platinum medal. 🙂
FF may be a bit early for Tam SEs but hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones. For me flushes simply continued on from chemo so I've had two years of them now . Breast doctor insisited on giving me clonidine last week - just 50ug (u = micro, no mu sign on here!) at night. So far limited effect, but slightly less intense... I may have to step aside to offer my place in the team to someone who glows better (says she as wooosh a h-u-g-e flush overtakes her as she types)
Finally have a date for gynae appt - 17 Sept. Exactly two years from first chemo... how spooky is that? Trigger event was exactly two years from finding lump... cue spooky music.
Vroooooom what was that.... ah CM on her mean machine!
FF, everything went well at dentist and woke up this morning sensitivity free, yahooooooooo!! So enjoyed my cup of tea, hope you get on fine at work today.
JCJ, swimming in the sea in a thunderstorm wow! You really are taking the synchro flushing/swimming practice seriously!
YD is off tomorrow so manic trip into town today to get last things, thought we were doing that when we went in on Sun, oh dear a long day ahead! xx
Squatting in daughter's flat in Norwich again. Just got back from 3 days camping on N. Norfolk coast, so on the kna**ered bench. Heading on home tomorrow.
Had interesting exerience of swimming in the sea in a thunderstorm on Sat - then got thoroughly soaked trying to get back to the car - didn't even bother trying to change out of swimmers - what would have been the point in getting our clothes wet too, we were already wet?! My car seat is still slightly damp!
So in 3 weeks, and 2 holidays, I've only managed 1 swim in the sea. Gutted! I live probably the furthest it's possible to live from the sea, in Uk, and won't have chance again until next year. 😞
FF - yes it probably is too early to be sure you are SE-free. I was until these last couple of weeks; now I have 3 or 4 flushes a day, but they are manageable, - so far - and they COULD be due to Zoladex or the combination of Tamoxifen & Zoladex!
CM - glad you're enjoying your new toy - but could you zoom around a bit further from the K bench, please, as I'm in desparate need of some quiet, uninterrupted peace. (Campsite was full of noisy children!)
First time I've guessed right about anything. Enjoy CM! Afraid I don't get the Sportster reference. Only know the Harley is THE bike from my son.
Sitting on the "catch up on T.V. bench" all the programmes that I've recorded over the last few months are now getting an airing, and some are being quickly deleted, why did I think they would be good?
Katy - good luck - I hate dentists with a passion (bad experiences as a child) and only visit them when I am in great pain. I know this is wrong and I should have regular check ups but I just can't do it and as I said it's only pain that gets me to a dentist.
Typical Bank Holiday here, pouring with rain. It will probably stop when I go back to work tomorrow!
Vrooooooooom, Vroooooooooooom, helmut on, ready steady go........two problems solved, CM's puzzle and the blue flash that I keep seeing in Benchland! Happy Days CM.
FF good news!!
RevCat excellent news, more appointments done and dusted. Fingers are still crossed!
Off to dentist to have crown fitted today, it's been very sensitive since I've had temp covering, funny thing is I wasn't having any bother prior to . xx
CM - you are going much too fast round Benchland for us to see what you've got.
Please could you park for five minutes and post to relieve our curiosity.
Revcat - glad your check up all good and hope Gynae referral comes sooner rather than later. Enjoy your last days.
I have been puppy sitting today for daughters addition to family. Four hours of fun! Asleep in her bed she's lovely, awake ....and it's if you take your eyes off her for one minute she's either tiddled on the carpet (or worse) or eaten something in the garden she should not eat.(Slugs!). However she is adorable so I can forgive her anything.
Have been taking Tamoxifen for two weeks now and NO side effects. Am I lucky or is this too early to tell?
Oooh CM a Big Blue Machine zooming round Benchland making a delightful roar as it passes.
Just a quick catch up after my days away. Six monthly check up all good - they did the mammo (two years from dx, standard for mx patients at this hospital) so results in 4-6 weeks. Swab tests came back clear - amazing that, I didn't have the things it would have been impossible for me to have! Gynae referral.... 6 - 8 weeks as NICE not applicable here and SIGN has no time scale for this 😞 Good job I'm not too worried about what they'll find despite the wording of the NICE guidelines.
Hugs to everyone... off to enjpoy my last few days of freedom doing some local museums and things.
The Girls want to know if the Big Blue Machine has got a sidecar cos they want to go for a ride!!! They will wear their goggles, gauntlets and biker jackets with Hell's Doggies in studs on the back......
No???? oh well they will have to make do with Grasmere Sports tomorrow.
grumpy (on the Slightly Knackered Bench)
CM - it's not a Harley Davidson is it? If it is my son will be very jealous as he's always wanted one but a wife and three children have caused him to have a family saloon car. He lives in hope of a lottery win to realise his dream. Maybe one day.
Several hundred miles since last Friday......You go girl!!!!
DJ, neither, keep guessing. If I get round to building a shed to keep it in it'll be very shiny, but at the moment is tucked up under a cover. It's not brand new (couldn't have afforded one from new) but it's new to me. Had the helmet and leathers etc from pre-BC times, but was rather "interesting" having my first ride in 3 years being an 80-mile jaunt to bring it home. But I've racked up several hundred more miles since then (last Friday!) and intend doing some more tomorrow and next week. Might even get on the thing and go and look at sheds -- any excuse. Went to visit a former forum member last week - was on the bike for 6 hours in one day! Great fun!
And it's a very turquoisey blue - here's to you, Clare.
A big blue Smartie - oh, how I'd love one of those! (But I prefer the orange ones). No, katy, it's not a smurf. I think the song would drive me even more loopy than I am already. Grumpy's got it right. And I STILL love it. It's got a bigger engine than my daughter's car!
Janice, just wanted to say - what an idiot!!! I'm so sorry he left you in tears. Hope you could shake the feeling off a bit, sweetie! Don't let his super awkward behaviour put you down now. You're doing so great and things are looking up! (I'm also through rads and one week to go. We're making it!)
Janice, you might find a good way to get him out of your head is to type a long letter putting EVERYTHING in. Leave overnight (or for a day or two) and then go back and edit it, so you can distill the bits you want to get over, then print and distribute. To the GP, the practice manager, your surgeon or onc, and anyone else you think ought to know about your complaint.
By writing it ALL down you'll get the feelings out. By then editing thoroughly, you'll get your point across, and the whole process will give you back a sense of empowerment.
I've been on the grinning stupidly bench all week. The cause for the stupid grin is very big, very blue, and makes a VERY loud noise! And I love it. 😄
Bottom still firmly fixed on CBA bench , stomach bloated from too much tea and chocolate fudge cake Humpf !!! I cant believe how much that silly man has got inside my head.... I need to put his remarks into perspective I know but Im struggling , I shall be fine in a day or so but its knocked me a bit, I have been a bit emotional as coming to end of rads and active treatment and we all know what a long haul it is, Silly silly man, as soon as im up for it I shall confront him , sorry one of the thwacking ladles is missing but i shall be needing it over the next few days !!!
Thankyou for all your lovely replies, If you see a CSL on the CBA Bench just give her a good kick up the backside and a fresh pot of tea ... works wonders x
Janice - your GP should be put up against the wall and shot! Where was he when tact and bedside manner were given out?
This morning my friends went back home and I'm left sitting on the "feeling rather flat" bench I probably won't see then until next year,so it's back to phone calls. I've had a fantastic five days while they've been here - even though they tired me out on Tuesday. Have paced myself since then so am ok now.
Sun has vanished here too, it has poured down all day. Daughter's new puppy did not know what to make of it at all when we took her outside, and definitely did not like it!
Janice, how horrible. Opposite extreme from "Try to keep positive" or "chin up!" (Which chin? Up where???) It makes me wonder if your doctor hasn't lost someone close to him unexpectedly due to BC? Or maybe a patient, and the family got at him for not saying how serious it was? Either way he should have got his facts straight before scaring you!!
I'm currently highjacking daughter's computer (and flat - she's at partner's flat!) prior to our camping weekend in North Norfolk. Oh look the weather's turned sh**ty! What a surprise!! Norwich has been the hottest place in the country for weeks. I arrive, sun vanishes! C'est la vie.
Janice, how very upsetting for you, sometimes you think do they have any brains?? I saw a locum and was devasted by the way she spoke to me, came out of docs extremely upset, spoke to my daughter and she said go back around and make a complaint. Did so and felt much better. Hopefully this locum will now think before she speaks after all you go to the docs for advice and help not to be made to feel like ****! So I would def complain. Hope you feel better today, have a word with the practice manager at your docs, if you don't feel like writing or phoning. Let us know how you get on. Really feel for you and hope you are ok, bigs hugs on their way!!
pargayan, lovely to see you back and yes your massive flush at 3.30 should just fit in superbly well with the other synchronising girls! If your face goes extremely red at the same time perhaps we can stand at either end of the sync swim action, give the routine a different look??
Any fudge cake left???? xx