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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Pat, no wonder you're jumping up and down, try the helpline on here, they maybe able to put your mind at rest. Will bring some hot tea and homemade scones with lashings and lashings of jam and cream over to your comfy sofa.....xx
PS Is that your photo? cause you look pretty young to me!!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi to all,
Think i had better go on the steaming hot bench which i am jumping up and down on,

Before MX on result day asked for path report with a i will phone tomorrow from BCN running past me telling me she is very busy going on holiday, had op 1st dec another BCN sat on bed to comfort me.

Other BCN very busy just returned from holiday not had time to turn on computer but appointment arranged 22nd only time we can put you in,promise i will phone you, still waiting, tried phoning no luck i know they are busy but i am also a patient,

Today stamping feet contact the nice BCN the one who was standing in,
had to leave a message saying hopefully i will be able to talk to someone would be nice, still waiting jumping on bench now phoned surgeon secatery explained is there a possibility of seeing a onc when at hosp on 22nd was told very busy at least another 3 weeks time
Now jumping up and down on bench told her it is not good enough,
my bc problems started dx in August, had 3 ops no medication as yet causing untold anxiety, thinking where else has it traveled too, 5 months without any meds mind is boggled, now i am beginning to believe what media has said older ladies not so urgent now it is proven to me.

Better get on comfy bench now throw the pink cushion please, to calm down before aft nap
Rant over Pat xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

........good point! Understood!

Sadie Xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

SadieL, you CANNOT be comfy on the guilty bench!!!!!!!!!!!xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thx katytc! Maybe thread title could be changed to 'comfy sofaland'!!!

I like the fluffy cushions here too!!

Sadie Xx Xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome SadieL, there will always be a bench somewhere for you,
PS. There are comfy sofas too!!! Deal from DFS xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi. Just discovered this thread - love it!!

Im on the 'knackered after finished christmas shopping before chemo on monday' bench!! Fun shopping, but tiring!!

Hugs to all taking a seat!

Sadie Xx Xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you sarahlouise, hopefully Ted will be better soon, it's good to hear that I am not alone with these "weird emotional feelings" so thank you again and big hugs to you too xx

Chocciemuffin, I know that you love the guilty bench but there is a small queue now and sharing is nice hahaha!!!xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Katy, SL, can you please just sod off the Guilty bench, I have claimed the blasted thing for myself.

Emotional moodswing bench? There's almost always room on THAT one, caused by the delights of Tam when one second you feel fantastic and the next feel ancient. The monthly numbers for the Moodswing Bench is five times that of any other bench. Guilt - always at least one bum-cheek firmly parked. F**king furious bench - far too tiring to spend too long there.

#Lack of cognitive function prevents me from naming any of the other benches, as my goldfish has taken over.

Glug.

Glug.

Glug.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Katytc,
just read your post and can sympahise with you so bunch up I need to jump on the 'guilty bench' I feel like that everytime I have a go at my partner for something really small then afterwards I feel guilty trouble is unless you got BC you really cant appreciate what we are going through, its hard but try and remember what you were like before BC because thats where all the non BC people are at no worries of our magnitude worrying about BC its return and in my case when will it get worse cause I got it on my lungs as well. I dont think your moaning your just venting and its 'better out than in'.

Remember all of what you are going through or have gone through in order to survive, the drugs we take can have an effect on our moods I'm currently on tamoxifen/herceptin and just cant cope when anything goes wrong, for example I need to sit on the 'take a chill pill bench' my cat is ill at the moment and I just cant cope with it he's only 3 and I love him dearly I actually said to my partner this morning if Ted (my cat) does not get better or if something happens to him I would kill myself, how riddiculous is that!!! at the time I actually meant it. Walking around the supermarket looking at all the food that I cant eat and watching all the non BC people just happily doing their shopping, whereas for me its a potential death shop in that most of the food is processed and I cannot eat it my reasearch has lead me to believe diet could help in saving me and I feel instinctually drawn to juicing green veg diet ala Kris Carr (please google her name if your interested).

I also need to hop on the 'emotional moodswing bench' I'm sure tamoxifen has something to do with this, dont worry I've been to the drs and will hopefully be getting some anti-depressants to help with the SE.

Dont be so hard on yourself its not your fault its the circumstances of what has happened to you.
Sending you lots of cyber hugs love and light
sarahlousie xxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Nope it's not working usually when I write things down I feel calmer honestly I am just LIVID, now I'm thinking what's wrong with me?????
Somebody, somewhere please help, I have a feeling I'm going to be on the crazy sobbing lady bench soon and that's one place I really don't want to be.......Oh also it's not that I feel sorry for myself just annoyed with the trivia and thinking what are you moaning for, you are complaining about nothing and going on and on about it ! AAAAAAARGH If I said these thoughts out loud everyone would then think I'm MOANING, xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi all,
Well, buttock cheeks are spread between the feeling guilty and the ******g furious bench.

I am so annoyed with people MOANING, I feel like saying live with cancer and the fear of recurrence etc everyday, then you have a right to moan.
They are just moaning about silly things, being busy blah blah, and while they are telling me these things, I put on a sweet smile while inside I'm screaming!!!!!!!!!I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!
Then I feel really bad that I'm thinking this so go towards the guilty bench again.
I hope I'm not the only one that feels like this "wee" rant over!!xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

hi herbi,

After munching my way through curry, could not eat any of my scones so still have six left, so you are welcome to have some away to put kettle on so come on over xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh, so glad there's a phantom boob bench, can I fidget between that and the needles in the non existent nipple bench and thehowcanmyarmbenumbandsoreatthesametime bench. Are there any scones left - I have homemade jam left from the toomuchtimeonmyhandswaitingforresults bench
Herbi x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi to all,

Benchland has again been very quiet, I have been sitting on the "I'm feeling really sick bench" for a good few weeks have also been sitting on the "I'm feeling sorry for myself" bench. For the last week I have had no nausea WOO HOO!!! so tonight I am having a chicken madras curry with nan bread might even have chips with it, then I'll head for the fat b******s bench, we'll have to have another adventure real soon any ideas?? OOps nearly forgot I might even have some scones with lashings and lashings of cream & raspberry jam and to swallow it all down some real cold ginger beer, what a smashing supper!!!! Looking forward to your bread scottishlass I'll bring the cheese, super extra strong cheddar, yummy yummy xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I am on the Gin and Tonic Bench. I am waiting for my bread to rise....we couldn't decide what we wanted for tea....so having G and T's as a starter!.....bread to follow.....won't make the oven for an hour yet......hope I don't fall asleep first! Anyone joining me on the G and T Bench? Val....PS bring your own cheese or salami to go with my bread!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

GUJane I ave been on the benches before but I need the fat. B..... Bench today because somebody mentioned Lemon Drizzel.... Oh I also need the "this hurts today do I am feeling sorry for myself " and get me back to normality bench ...My Butt will fit on them all at once it is big enough.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Bumped for the Woodies

Jane

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi

Do you have that as well, tingly feeling where your nipple was, if my body wants to grow a new boob maybe it's going to grow a new nipple as well!!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

is the Phantom Boob bench the same as Needles in the Nipple That Isn't There bench?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi

you don't sound in a good mood at all jane!! I'll keep you company on the phantom boob bench, my body is still trying to grow another right one!!! M

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm going to sit on the Phantom BooB Bench... weird feelings from time to time.... and then I'll move to the "oh dear, I'm a bit cross" bench, which is a bit further down Polite Hill from the F**** Furious bench and is next to the "careful-I'll-poke-your-eyes-out" bench....

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi

It's too cold for low cut tops where I live but I'll sit next to you if there is a mono cleavage bench!!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

The random doctor who drained me yesterday said that my chest was now "flat".

It's not really, though. I guess he meant bereft of serous fluid. It still had some squidgy swellings around; I guess they'll abate with time or remain. I thought I'd end up like Pancake Jack McPancake. He was a very flat boy.

Still on the Getting Bored of Feeling Ill bench. Tired of compromising. I want to wear a low-cut top!
Is there a Mono Cleavage bench?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi

Hymil, that's just how I was feeling the other day. I have had a good talk to my daughter and she says she is grateful for all the minding I have done and she realises that I am indisposed at the moment. He is in nursery during the day now and she is enjoying being at home with him in the evening. They are both happier with her not working evenings so all in all it has worked out for everyone. You don't have to run for cover, everyone is entitled to an opinion!!

Ninja. I too am off the seroma bench and have both cheeks on the Getting Bored of Feeling Ill bench. Still think my body is trying to grow a boob though!!!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hymil - know what you mean in a way. There were no tax credits or child care allowances when mine were small and I paid out 60% of my earnings to a childminder. But I desperately needed that other 40%!

I'm off the Seroma bench and on the Feeling Drained bench. With one bum cheek on the Getting Bored of Feeling Ill bench.

Is there a Phantom Nipple Pain bench? Somebody catch these phantom needles and stick them somewhere else!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Applestreet I don't get it, Why are you feeling so guilty because you have spent so long being her (probably unpaid?) babysitter, there are plenty of us out here who had to get by with childminders while we worked and ne'er a helpful granny anywhere in sight ever once. That does include working evenings & weekends though not nights. It's hard but it can be done. You're already in credit by a long way, it's no disgrace to have to withdraw a little when you had a serious illness. I mean, it's in the nature of the older generation they don't last for ever, even without allowing for cancer, so it's only wise for her to seek an alternative. Not cheap, but prepared. Heaven forbid but what if you were hit by a bus? I think it's she should be on the naughty bench for taking your services for granted. Just my tuppenceworth and now I'm running for cover!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi

I am going to sit on the guilty bench as my daughter has just phoned to say that she is giving up the evening shift part of her job. Before bc struck me I looked after my grandson 3 nights a week so she could work and now she can't as at the moment I can't manage. She is a single parent and will have to apply for housing benefit now.
I am going back now to sit down on the sobbing lady bench and then on the furious one to finish!!!!

just needed the rant sorry!!! M

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Are the Benches well stocked and comfy tonight?, Im gonna find a comfy one or perhaps even one of our comfy sofas for a snooze still in pain and sore and now I have the added pain of hot flushes...and that's before I start on the tamoxifen!!! The TAX def pushed me over the 'menopause edge'

Love to all
JX

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I was getting to the point where I thought chemo would be delayed by seroma, having hellish weekends terrified that I had got an infection, wishing I could avoid aspiration of seroma but unable to bear the "discomfort" when I had an aspiration by my least favourite surgeon, and it never re accumulated. Obviously so unpleasant a procedure my psyche did it for my soma at last.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Went to the Poundshop yesterday and bought lots and lots of After Eights, so have them packed in my rucksack ready to go, Ninja they are very, very thin pieces of choc, couple of press ups (you are able to do anything in BENCHLAND), and you won't have to go to the reinforced fat b******s bench ever!
Have my list ready and raring to go, see you soon xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi Crabbit,

The one I hate is when you are mid conversation and you can't remember what you were away to say next, awkward or what?? Not too bad with family but in shops etc embarrassing!!
I was at self service check out at local supermarket a couple of months back and was about to weigh a couple of pieces of fruit, I could not remember what they were called, had to get a girl over to key them through for me. They were plums, what happened to my brain there?? I was mortified.
Crabbit just a thought you may actually just be emphasising your point of view (no problem with your memory!) and very glad you enjoyed your fest a girl after my own heart!
Back on the board again xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

After eights? Don't mind if I do.

Not too many, mind, or I'll have to have one cheek on the F B bench.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Wow, well good morning Katyc! How lovely to have you scootling about here.
I've been on the repetition bench for a few days, short term memory playing up and can't hold a conversation without saying the same thing three times.....yes i was tempted to type that again!
I had a bit of a choc fest last night, but it was only dairy milk.
Lovely, lovely though. Thinking about you Ninja!

carolyn x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

La la la la la, wind is ruffling my hair, BENCHLAND is quiet just now, well it is Sun morning xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Ninja, hope it calms down real soon, I can bring some After Eights over to you and I can shout from the other benches, am on my skateboard today so can zoom around anywhere.
Norberte, I'm sorry I don't know what "norberte doing a norberte" is??? will skateboard over to see what's going on.
And for any others who are on the other benches/sofas if you see a quick flash it's not you're imagination, it's me faster than the speed of light on my board xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Seroma comes to an end suddenly? When? How long? Will that mean I can sleep comfortably?

I can barely stand to wear anything next to me.
Bra? Not for more than 5 seconds.
Microfibre vest with shelf that is 2 sizes too big is the only thing I can tolerate and that gets sore as the day progresses. Large Miss Left is barely being supported and softie migrates. So not a good look in public, either side.
I want to leave the Seroma bench, it's lonely here

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh, that sucks that phase, Ninja. It does usually come to an end, quite suddenly, just when you think you will never be comfortable again.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good Evening Benchland!

I'm still on the Seroma bench. It's prolly a B cup now...won't need a softie soon 😮

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi all,

Hope you are all feeling a little better now, my anti nausea tablets are kicking in and I have managed to scoff a box of After Eights haven't had them for years!!! Very yummy. Have been lying on the "feeling cr***y" sofa for a few days so great to stretch my legs and totter around, not sure where I'm going??? Maybe just visit different benches and have a wee chat don't feel guilty about the After Eights so not going there! xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What about 'keep nodding off' bench where anyone on it realises that the person you are in the middle of talking to has glazed over and subsequently nodds off....I'm doing it all the time so I think I'll sit there a while...best not make it a too comfy One???!!! I will take Norbertes advise and take advantage of the butler...perhaps dividing my time with the 'weepy' and 'knackered to my bones' I too cant manage to get myself dressed in one go....what am I talking about I can't manage to get myself dressed!!!!!! XXX
. XX
Val pm me your address if you wish and I post you your book XX

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'll join you in a curry, but pass on the coke - lager please!!!! With regard to extra benches. did we have an "i've lost confidence" bench? Cheers! Jane
PS I went back and had a read of Norbert's brilliantn summary and laughed all over again, then I had a look at choccie's - missed that first time round somehow! Both fab, fab, fab.....
I'm off to the sleepy sofa.... hopefully... if I can catch a sleep fairy...

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

And remember we can eat what we like, whenever we like cause no weight gain in Benchland so might even order a curry, chicken pakora, lamb biryani and nan bread. Wash it down with ice cold can of coke!!!xx

PS love the photo X

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

yes Val have strawberry bon bons, coffee creams, orange creams and haribo tangy jelly sweetie things, chocolate mice yum yum!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Can I join you then katytc as I could murder some sweeties right now and may even cheer you up as I am in a silly mood tonight! Val

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi all,

Val I have been sitting on the "lets bury my head in the sand" bench, have been sitting there for a wee while now, tonight I feel stronger and I'm off to "stop being a twit" sofa/bench, going to have a cup of tea and a bakewell tart and lots of sweeties xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

welcome to benchland Clare. We are a mixed bunch. all the more the merrier. Well girls what new bench can we add to the lot we already have. There must be room for more. Val