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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

just added a "no I'm not *** over it" bench....beside the "you look well" bench ...

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ah, that'll be the guilty bench with your feet up on the "can't be ar, bothered" bench. I'll shuffle along, shall I?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Love this thread!

Anyone want to join me on new bench (or section of guilty bench?) I've discovered - the 'I'm so useless for not getting round to all those jobs while I was lazing round on chemo' one?

Jude

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just had a PM from mods, they've had a go, we now have BENCHLAND at the end of the title!

Cheers, mods!

And I'm skipping around the benches feeling happy, can't decide which one to go for. If there were an indecisive bench I'd probably be sitting on that one, but I'm not sure...

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tried that Chocciemuffin, doesn't appear to work post disappeared. Must have to be changed by moderators, back to the guilty bench again for me for not being able to help anyone find the thread! x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

halloooo from the defiant sofa, hope its near the I hate HR bench as I too am hovering towards the no pay zone. And while I'm on, can I have a little I hate tories bench, I saw George Osborne on TV this am and automatically slipped into Tourrets...its just a reflex
m

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Here's a thought - perhaps katyc can go in and edit the FIRST post on the thread?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

SO nice to have sofa's instead of benches.. only trouble is, I might nod off and take a space that someone else really needs. I'm heading for the "what on earth next" sofa now....

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

looks like whoever is posting has to change the name too

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

The thread name reverted again, have tried to change it!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

DJ007 - loved the song, one of my fav's anyway and the new words are so TRUE hehe

DaisyGirl xx

ps Norberte, thanks for the sofas, I think they are great!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

norberte - are you sure it's not the 'thinking murderous thoughts about HR bench'. That's the one I'm drumming my heels against.
It's close to the 'laugh in the face of bureauocracy' bench aka 'the hysterical bench'

Dx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I did report my own post asking for a bit of moderated intervention on the thread title, let's see if they can fix it for us (Jim).

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Done it Choccie! But I thought that Norberte changed the benches to settees from DFS.

At least I did what norberte said but the title didn't change. Tried to delete it but I don't know how to. I went into edit and deleted but it just stayed the same. Luddite me!

Help somebody- please tell me how to delete a post after I have actually submitted it.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hiya,

Can I join dizzy et al on the guilty bench please??

Been having "fun" with teens this end and have felt v guilty thinking about asking their dad (yup, single mum here) to take the blighters! If no space there I'll head to the naughty bench for murderous thoughts about washing-up!

Thx
Hxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Saw the words 'benchland' and suddenly (and rather oddly as I was never a 'new romantic') thought of Spandau Ballet... Feel free to sing along..

Mother doesn't know where hope has gone,
she says we must be brave to keep us feeling strong.
See it in my face that's turned to ice,
and when I smile I show the lines of sacrifice.
And now I know what they're saying as my guilt begins to fade,
thatbwe found our friends on benchland and through the bc charade.

Cancer’s made my history,
it’s taken a year and now I’ll never somehow be free.
I know what I ought to say to you,
I learned it off by heart but now that's torn in two.
And now I know what they're saying on the bench of the renegrade,
that we found our friends on benchland and through the bc charade.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Mods, can I ask a little favour? Could you change the title of this thread to include "BENCHLAND" in the title? A lot of people have been posting on it but I find I keep losing it because my marbles have deserted me and I can't remember what the title of the BENCHLAND thread is!

Ta muchly, if you wouldn't mind...

CM
x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Did ahve enuf time to see choccie's avatar ... yeah!!!! keep the benches warm for me!! may log on again????
J XX

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

In Florida having a whale of a time!!! and guess what I don't feel guilty !!!! I havent time to catch up PC time limeted to 4 mins so catch up with posts when I get back
love to all
Jeanette xxxx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sitting on the knitting settee -

" obviously the colours are vile, it being dfs, but we can always sit on the knitting bench & make some throws"

knitting a throw - as I'm not very good at knitting I hope it will turn out OK. But at least I'm comfortable, thanks Norberte for swapping us over.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm so excited we have sofas now! I'm on the 'pull yourself together' sofa but my friends and sister tell me I shouldn't be on it as I'm expecting too much from myself. Does that mean I have to move to the 'guilty' sofa???

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

moser, I am glad you have said that, I couldn't see the difference in the thread title, at least now I know I am not going completely mad!

Also, sorry for the scorch marks on the AFF bench, I think this one needs to be made out of metal! Now moved to the doing OK bench for a chillout...

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

And also for some reason the title of the thread has now gone back to the original ...but it wasn't my fault, really...

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just to say that I have been on the guilty bench all weekend, following a spell on the grumpy-and pi**ed-off bench that resulted in a short occupation of losing-it-completely bench.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

TLB, I think that's the "**** it!" bench, or some similar name. Easily identified by the inhabitants, who sit there with arms crossed aggressively, best Paddington Bear stares on faces, scowl, and fingers poised and ready to deliver the two-fingered salute at the drop of a hat. I'm there on the end, accompanied by murderous cat.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Have we got a 'stubborn and defiant' bench?

If not, we should....

Qualifying criteria....

I will not give up smoking
I will not give up drinking
I will not stop eating things I like (save the potentially food poisonous ones 'cos i'm not that silly)just because some stupid author says so
I will not think about cancer every second of every day and...
I WILL NOT GIVE IN!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Benchland was a bit of a secret, so no problems here about the change of title.

Sitting on the "I hate work" bench today, with feet up on the "can't be ar, erm, bothered" bench. I have absolutely no motivation to do this job, but it pays... (well it will when I get round to doing an invoice!)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

thanks for you comments, calmed down a bit and spoke to daughter, I appologised for over-reacting and told her how I was feeling and that I knew she cared but she did not show it very well. I said by helping me she could show she cared, and that I would teach her how to hoover properly as she could not be expected to know first time!. We are both hormonal at the moment and we always blow up at each other, but its worse when I am feeling so vulrunable. It so helps to vent on here. Promise I have stepped firmly away from the guilty bench. I am now residing on the "feeling calm and going to get better" bench - I may be occupying this bench for quite some time!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Dizzy..... feel for you! She's 14... says it all. No idea about anyone else's feelings; no understanding; no communication skills (probably).... I think 8-10 year olds are probably more caring! (then it comes back again later) I remember doing my back in and having to be on bed rest for 2-3 days and my son saying "you only did this to make me do more housework!!" If you can get someone else to explain to her what it's like for you (and have a conversation about how she might help) that might be better than it coming from Mum.... after all, what do we mums know????? And as for the guilt... consider it part of her life-skill training to help out! Our job is to equip them for adult life... so they need to learn how to cook, so on buttons and clean! (whether they like it or not - how often do we like it??!) BUT, I know it's hard when you don't have the energy and feel rotten.... virtual hug... and tissue... Jane

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh Dizzycloud, try not to feel guilty, it's very difficult, you have done nothing wrong, she is a teenager thats what they do! I remember my Mum asking me to hoover once and I went into a real huff, I was spoilt too. You are having one of those days where everything seems to get on top of you, I think days like this are unfortunately part of the bc package. You're worried, she's worried and you just end up getting annoyed with each other it's a very emotional time, hopefully you can have a cuddle soon, sending you lots of hugs x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I am on the guilty bench right now. Asked my 14 yr old daughter to do hoovering as I can't due to breast op. Came back from shop to find she had hoovered one bit of one room and had left the rest; she hadn't even done the bit I asked her to specifically. I had a real go at her (PMT does not help!)and she stormed to her room. I have just spent last half hour crying from the bottom of my heart. What have I done to deserve such an uncaring daughter?. And why do I feel guilty? I have looked after her single handed for laast 8 years
I am feeling so sorry for myself and need to snap out of it. She is spoiled and gets her own way even now. I am so tired I just cannot cope today. I have told her I want her to move to her dads, but I don't mean it
How do I get though to her how ill I am? She has seen my scars but cannot understand the overwelming tiredness I feel as I recover. And how do I stop feeling so guilty that I am having to ask her to help?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Daisyleaf - I laughed my head off at you chucking your fag in the bushes like some naughty school girl!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Owing to chemo-brain, I can't remember whether there's a paranoid bench, but if there isn't, there should be! My word, the guilt from childhood is deep isn't it? Taken me years to realise that God is FOR me, not against me. Even though I've had cancer, I don't believe He zapped me me with it! The Shack is a good read to blow your mind... a novel... funny, sad, brilliant..... makes you rethink... Think Im just sliding off the "*** shattered" bench... hoping for a soft landing!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

It wasn't so much the guardian angel I was scared of - it was my mother - the avenging angel!!! And the nuns at school - they scared the hell out of me. I have fallen off the non smoking wagon recently and was walking past the convent about a week ago (I live very close to it) and sister Aelred came out so I chucked the fag I was smoking into a garden. Then I had to go back and check I hadn't started a fire. And the guilt of smoking - bl**dy hell! It appeals to my adolescent rebellious self - the bit thats got me through all the sh*t of the past few years. But I have to say I was at my non smoking, healthy living best both times I was dx'd so I can't blame that. So I'll just sit beside the guilty bench, and lean my back on it.
Thanks for the newspapers, but not tabloids please cos I HATE them and I'd have to move to the angry bench! I could light up and set fire to them, but I don't suppose we could have the burning bench....

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Daisyleaf, we'll even provide you with some cardboard and newspapers if you want to stay there all night! Know the thing about the catholic guilt. Were you ever terrified by the thought of this massive guardian angel figure looming over you ready to tell you off? I can still see the picture in the colouring book I had as a kid, I was petrified!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Daisyleaf, you have just made me laugh, there will always be a bench if you need one just letting you know before thread disappears due to you posting, honestly you're not paranoid???? x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Wow, wish I'd found this earlier - can we have a new bench called 'I don't even post cos my thoughts aren't worth sharing'?
I have lost my marbles courtesy of bc/treatment/depressive reaction to it - don't even know any more.
And guilt - oh sh*t don't get me started.... I'm a catholic too. My family is bored by the whole thing (sibs not OH and kids) so I don't burden them with it nowadays - am 2 years post second dx (recurrence)so really have had time to get over the nuisance that is bc. Brother called it an 'irritation' I could have hit him with a big stick but the guilt would have doubled!
Don't expect a response as my post seem to end most threads I contribute to. Add a 'paranoid that I'm tedious about it' bench - if no one else is on it I'll lie down and have a kip. Add chronic fatigue to the loss of marbles.
yours sincerely
postcard from laa laa land

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

GIJaneH, Like your style!! Which bench are you off to? I'm just wandering around at the moment not going near the smug b bench though! x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I've enjoyed telling people that of course, if only I'd not allowed myself to put on weight, eaten more cauliflower and drunk less wine, I wouldn't have cancer now! They look at me in disbelief and it starts a good conversation (usually with THEM saying "what rubbish") I'd have wanted a cheese sauce on my cauli anyway, and isn't dairy bad for us too? Getting out of bed is bad for us... no wait.. my physio daughter says STAYING in bed is bad for us... I'm off to the benches!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

sky2sea, it's alright because the smelly bench is way, way at the very back of " bench city". x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hmm - dont think you have thought this through. If i'd eaten more cauliflower I'd spend half my time on the ginormous smells'r'us bench

* the bench is normal sized btw

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

sky2sea, a little too late methinks,if only you had eaten more cauliflower then you would have earned your place on the smug B**stard bench. X

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm putting water in my wine nowadays so can i sit on the smug b**tard bench or is it just way, way too late?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you Bobbin2, J, think we should have another bench "feeling really confused and don't know where to sit bench" as "guilty" and "it's my fault" are equally relevant here. So here's to the fat, alcoholic, non cauliflower eaters, perhaps we should tell GH about the yellow wellies too! X

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ha ha if I was as thin as I was when I was "high school" age people would think I was anorexic (around 8stone then and I am 5ft 8"), so it is definately therefore my fault that I have breast cancer as I was 10.5 stones before diagnosis .... somehow think I won't bother buying GH this month!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I have just received my copy of the latest GH mag, it has a nine page spread on the "Good News (that) We're beating cancer together" and "how the experience can be surprisingly positive". All under the pink ribbon banner.

I actually had to stop reading it, it p****d me off so much!

Don't buy the mag unless you would normally, it is not worth the money just to read the spread. Nothing new but gives the impression that once treatment is over you are OK and specifically advises to get plenty of plant (phyto) oestrogens, even though the evidence as to whether this is beneficial or not is still inconclusive.

I am still spitting feathers!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

DaisyGirl xx