71.9K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you had a lovely day grumpy, Rita's??? Also wondered if it would still be there happy it is haha.

Hope your photo shoot went well Jane and you are a little better, great you had your family there too, hope daughter is ok.

Oh no JCJ your day also sounded lovely hopefully will only be one week you have to lose, nice to have alone time.

Am just sitting here thinking how cold it is this morning brrrrrrrrrr, will never get used to the cold.

Had a quiet weekend which was lovely went to bed early and slept very well so think I have now caught up.

Lunch today hurrah, we had to delay so are much later than usual, we try and do every 3 weeks, it was all the backwards and forwards I was up to.

Expensive slippers were not any better than cheap ones haha so cheap ones will win from now on! xx

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad you had a lovely day in Morecambe, grumpy. I'm very jealous! Also glad to hear Rita's is still going strong despite the trials and tribulations of Covid. I was worried it might have disappeared by the time I get to go again. One day...... 🤞🏼

grumpy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We had a lovely treat today, I took Joey to Morecambe!!! It is always a bit nostalgic....

It was sunny but that cold wind. We had a walk along the prom, Joey nearly fell through the fence onto the beach, then he met two young lady dogs and got all flirty, then we went to Ritas cafe for a muggatea and bowl of corned beef hash for lunch. And on the way home we saw a rainbow!!

So I feel great and I hope everyone else is doing well with treatments and families...

Grumpy xxx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad the lido went OK... grandchildren survived.... boo to the loss of free time next week...

Quick visit as have family here.  Little one has grown up so much in the last couple of months, having had her first term at school.  Lots of laughs in the house....  She has developed a huge fear of the coffee machine, because it's noisy...  won't go in to the kitchen if the lights are on, even if it's not going to go....

D supposed to be joining us today, but she's attempting to go back to work (too soon IMO) and now isn't sure she can face company today.  Maybe tomorrow...  We are going to have a family photo done on Sunday, so I hope she is OK to make it, but her health is more important...  Photoshoot is my birthday present from son & DIL.  

Right, sermon to finish for Sunday too...  dogs to walk... GD to play with....  off I skip.... 

still nauseous, but controlling it better with meds.  The soles of my feet are on fire in the evenings (side effect) and I'm losing the feeling in feet and hands a little 😐 but my tooth has settled down and I can now have the bone infusion again.  Necessary, but it knocks me out for 24hrs or so...

 

take care ladies

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad the lido went OK and wasn't as bad as you feared. I hope the headache and nausea have gone now. 

Ooh! Lunches out. Enjoy! I expect details!😁

After swimming today, I had a picnic lunch, from the deli (chicken salad sub roll - on my favourite local bakery bread, a large chunk of light sponge cake with those delicious biscuits you get in posh coffee shops sprinkled on the top and flavouring the butter icing.... Yum... and a mugatea) on a bench in the sunshine but tucked out of the cold wind. Bliss. A pity I had to rush a bit to get back to fetch OH from the library. I've said it before, but 3 hours goes nowhere; I find myself wishing he'd clear off for 3 DAYS! (Here, alligators! Have some guilt)

Talking of libraries, in answer to your question, I go to the school one for 2 or 3 hours on  Tuesday afternoons. Sometimes I also have to help out at the village library, where OH volunteers, when they're short staffed (it's run entirely by volunteers) as, apparently, OH and the other elderly guy can't be trusted to run it by themselves. So that's where I'll be next Thursday from 11am to 2pm instead of swimming and picnicking in the sunshine.  Hey ho! There goes my "me time". 😕

Half term next week so I won't be going in to school. It's nice to have something to have a day off from. Is that mad? 🤔

I hope your treatment is going OK, Jane, and you're not feeling too ****. 🤞🏼xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Finger crossing worked woo hoo!

7 and a half hours later I was finished, so a very long day, usual nausea and headache.

Must admit have always been a little fearful of a sub cut...........

Yes I did manage to escape house, all GC very good and all babysitting duties completed whew!

Sooooooo next week it's all about me, lunches arranged, yum yum.

Are you in for a full day in the library JCJ?

Sun is shining here but it is cold, glad it's stopped raining.

Am about to do a house catch up, proper tidying, after that there will be rolls and sausages in the shed for all xx

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ooh yummy my favourite thank you .

Am in hospital having my lido and have just been told it's a sub cut today so will have to be monitored arrrgh maybe here for hours oh no keep your fingers crossed xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good grief! Nearly a week since I last posted! Where does the time go? Is the new watch stealing it? 😛 Or, more likely, it's the procrastination bench.... more commonly known as the CBA bench?!

Hurrah for stable, grumpy. Long may you stay that way.

I hope your body is getting used to the meds, Jane, and you're not still feeling nauseous. My late sister, when she was having chemo, before her bone marrow transplant, was given meds to stop the nausea. They helped a lot. If it's still a problem maybe there is something you could have? I hope you feel well enough to enjoy the family visit..... but don't overdo it! 

Did your delivery come, Katy, or are you still trapped in the house waiting?! 

Swimming this afternoon so I've prepped dinner ready for when we get back kn*****ed and hungry; all I'll have to do is heat it up. Cunning plan. 

Pouring with rain here today and it's getting dark sooo early now. 😕 Happens every year, so I don't know why it always comes as such a shock! 😁 The clocks haven't even gone back yet either! 

Roast beef dinner and chocolate orange cake, raspberries, raspberry sorbet and vegan cream in the shed. 

 

 

grumpy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ladies

Joey the GOM is just finishing his tea - cue out through the pet door for a poo and a pee. Now he has started with doggy dementia he can't remember if he needs a pee or not. It's very wearing on my nerves!!

Saw oncologist on Friday, everything stable HURRAY. I've got some new pills cos my scan showed possible blood clots but I've been told not to worry......

A friend with Parkinson's is getting quite frail so we are all rallying round, although I can't do very much sadly.

 

Friends I have party night with on Friday by phone have that black humour which is useful - he tells me I won't die young!!

Onwards and upwards  - big shop and the tip tomorrow.

Grumpy. Xxx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oooh that makes sense Jane, hospital pharmacies are def different, thought it was a local one!

Hope you settle into tabs soon, have a friend who takes them she feels so much better taking them than not, hope it's same for you.

Am at home with 2 GC am waiting for a delivery before we head off am hoping it arrives soon. 

Knowing my luck it will be an evening delivery which would def put a spanner in the works arrrrrrrgh.

Does anyone know the time please?? xx

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Woo hoo to the watch and computer!

Thanks for the glitterbury juice and the balloons 🎈!  The pharmacy was the one in the hospital!!!!!!

The drugs were delivered just after 9am, which was great.   Took a full dose yesterday (10 tablets a day!) and felt pretty nauseous after the roast chicken....  hope the body gets used to it.  GP phoned to see how I was and how the new BP tablets are doing.  I've never met him, but he sounds a lovely man.  

Hope you are OK xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy Anniversary Jane, woo hoo!

Oh my goodness, what a carry on, would def change chemists, that is just ridiculous, made me fuming just reading. Change asap! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Hope you have meds now.

I like it, from ASBO boy to grumpy old man haha.

Computer working and a new watch woo hoo, good times indeed. Sounds very fancy and looks great.

Think that's a brilliant idea JCJ, kids will love it.

Am home but will be gone again tomorrow..............busy, busy.

Will be back for one day then off again, after that things will settle.

Decided to stay awake all last night WHAT? So did have a nap this afternoon do feel better now, am hoping it doesn't make sleep difficult tonight................xx

 

 

 

 

miopus
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you are feeling OK today. My computer has tried all afternoon to do that thing where little circle appears and it tries to update Word. Did it eventually after much starting and stopping. Can you let us know the highly recommended free virus program to try ? Fed up with all the expensive ones.

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I've done it. I've bought myself a new watch. I got fed up of looking at my bare wrist to see what time it is! Happy retirement/Ch******s to me! Spent twice as much as I meant to but it will never need a battery as it's powered by light - both natural and artificial! It also does not have any stupid crystals that can come loose and cause a problem, unlike most small ladies watches! (I have surprisingly small wrists!) 

20211013_135843.jpg

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Happy anniversary, GIJ!! FF bench is now festooned with heart shaped balloons and the glitterberry juice is on ice.

What a **** time you've had of it! I hope the pharmacy are as good as their word and deliver your meds, as promised, tomorrow, without any more delay, stress or hassle! Fingers crossed for minimal SEs and maximum effect when you start to take them.

Maybe your family could come for a shorter time at Christmas?.... and do all the work so you can rest?

Grumpy, I struggled to believe that Joey is a "grumpy old man": still imagining the adolescent hooligan of yester year. Ah yes that was nearly TEN years ago!! Good grief! 

I fixed the computer on Monday without having to take it back to the shop. Hurrah! Pressed F12 and forced it to boot from the correct drive. It's been fine since..... if that isn't tempting fate!!

Inherited academic gown and cap are currently residing, in a plastic delivery bag, under my dressing table until such time as I decide what to do with them, ie probably for ever?! 😛 If I was still working, I'd use them every year dressing up for book week. Perfect Harry Potter or Hermione outfit! Perhaps I could sell them as that on Mr Futon's site. Hmmm. The beautiful shawl is adorning the dressing table mirror - which OH had previously covered with a blanket as he hates catching sight of his reflection in the bedroom. 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm firmly plonked on the FF bench!

I had a text yesterday to say that the Doctor thought we should just crack on with the chemotherapy, and when would I like to start?  ASAP sounded like a good idea to me, having been without treatment for two weeks, and the prognosis without treatment was very grim... so I arranged to go in today.  The plan was to pick up the drugs from pharmacy, return to the chemo suite and text the nurse to say I was ready.  We got to pharmacy about 10.30.  It was 10 minutes before anyone noticed that I was standing at the desk waiting... then they went off to look.... and came back to say it would need to be made up, and I should come back in 40 minutes.  I sighed, but Richard and I bought a cup of coffee and waited for 40 minutes.  I went back in, and the same lady eventually came over to tell me that the prescription from the chemo suite had not had a dosage on it, so they had emailed, and it would be another 40 minutes.  We went to the chemo suite and the nurse talked us through what we needed to know about this particular chemotherapy.  It's twice daily tablets for 2 weeks, then a week "off".  

SO... off we go to pharmacy again.  A different lady looks for the drugs, then comes back to tell me that chemotherapy drugs take longer and they haven't got time to do them today!  They will deliver them to my home tomorrow!  The specialist nurses were speechless when I went back to see them in the unit.

What a fantastic way to celebrate our wedding anniversary!  (Hubby came too, bless him).  

The good news is that the fatigue is cumulative, so I should be OK for the GD visiting next week with her parents....  Their fortnight stay at Christmas might be a different challenge, but we'll see how we go.  OH managed to buy our favourite Christmas Puddings yesterday 😃

grumpy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Joey has been to two events with CAKE!! Silver Sunday cos we are old enough now, and the Monday Meet up (not the MMU of past years!) He behaved beautifully and Hoovered up all the crumbs before we came home.

He isn't the ASBO Boy these days, more a grumpy old man.....

Grumpy

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

So hope the computer is feeling better!!!!  

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

New computer collected yesterday morning. Spent the whole afternoon faffing about setting it up so it's as familiar as possible for OH (I rarely use it now as I do almost everything on my  tablet or phone!)

Took off the antivirus software it came with, because I couldn't register it without paying, and downloaded a highly recommended free one.

Tried to restart the computer to finish the above processes and it froze on the Windows repair screen for over an hour and then showed the HP recovery screen.....this computer is NOT HP, so that must be something on the old drive?

So I was back on the FF bench but a couple of hours of "Strictly" and knitting calmed me down.

I haven't dared try to start it again. It will be going back to the shop tomorrow because,  even if it's something stupid I've done, I don't know how to fix it.

Currently- and for the last few weeks- doing the dance of the 40 fleeces again. Hot flushes seem to be back. What's that about?! Felt so awful in the cafe on Friday, sweating in a t shirt whilst everyone else had their coats on, that I was worried I'd got Covid!! Took temperature when I got home: normal! Phew!

Roast lamb dinner and apple cinnamon sponge pudding in shed.

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

are you off the FFurious bench yet?  Stay a bit longer, if it helps.... 

cakes are yummy thanks, but someone got to the Italian before me...

I met up with some other ladies with secondary breast cancer yesterday in London.  The train I went to catch was cancelled, so the next one was full.  There was a group of friends who had finished their first bottle of champagne before I got on... then other individual ones were passed round, and more lager for the lads.  VERY noisy!  Thank goodness for earphones!  Not a mask in sight, of course.... Coming home was better - less people, mostly masked.  

It was good to meet three other ladies, and we had a good, if tentative, conversation and swapped information.  One of the ladies had a 6 & 8 yr old, which must be incredibly hard.

Had the flu jab yesterday, which is good.  I'm a bit sore, but OK.

I have been planting winter pots with pansies or cyclamen.  I've found three beautiful conkers buried by    industrious squirrels!  I put them back carefully for them....

Good to hear from you Grumpy - what ARE you going to do with the academic gown etc?  We're trying to de-clutter!  That large Rain Forrest company is too tempting though!  Well done on the fund raising!

There was "only" 300ml fluid on my lung, which has been removed.  Feel better for that...

have a good weekend, the weather was fab yesterday... grey today.... 

roast chicken and all the trimmings in the shed....

 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Had a delivery from an Italian Restaurant last night yum yum so there is a small amount of leftovers in shed not much haha x

Lemon drizzle I love.....

Cake also in shed jammy sponge.

Oh my goodness how annoying about watch grrrr and computer, when will you have your new one?

Feeling a little tired today all yesterday's excitement so will just be staying in, it's pouring with rain anyway arrrgh xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Fish, chips white buttered bread and a large mug of tea bliss and then some.

 

Poppy xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Three!? Wow! Happy birthday KTC's GS. 

It's been a c**p day. 😢 Took computer into repair shop because it keeps crashing and showing just coloured diagonal lines across the screen. While we waited for it, we went to the supermarket cafe (no chickens in sight despite its name 😛) - first time since before the last lockdown - for lunch. No sandwiches. Had to have a mediocre panini. Grrr.

Then took watch to jewellers because 2 tiny gems have come loose in the face and I worried they might jam the hands and strain the movement. It has stopped once because of this but a shake got it going again. "Come back in 20 minutes". Mooched about. Nothing I need to buy - but did find a shirt in charity shop to suggest to OH. Back to jewellers. Watch is no longer working. No explanation. New battery installed but it's still dead. I wanted to scream:  IT WAS WORKING WHEN I LEFT IT! Jeweller said I could have it serviced.... for £100!...but the watch is only worth about £30. I'm FF. At least she didn't charge me for the "repair" - or the new battery. Now I have to buy a new watch. 😠

Then computer shop called. Motherboard is ****ed. Can't be replaced as computer "too old" (8 years!!) So we have had to buy a new computer. Grrrrrrrr. Only had the d**n thing upgraded to Windows 10 just last year!! Should have bought a new one then. They are going to do the data transfer for us so fingers crossed we won't lose anything.

Computer guy said, when I told him about my watch, "You know things happen in 3s?!" Gee. Thanks!! Half expected to find the car wouldn't start or to come home to find the house on fire!! So far, all OK. 

Now having tea and lemon drizzle cake. It is delicious - even if I do say so myself. I'll put some in the shed.

I keep thinking it's Saturday, because we've been in town, and was wondering what on earth I could be bothered to cook for dinner. Oh! It's Friday! Chippy night! The day has just got soooo much better. 😁

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Think we will need to drop Joey asbo boy name for something more glorious after managing to help raise all that money well done Joey😀 So difficult grumpy, do you take lots of tablets? Sending you hugs.

Also sending big hugs to you too Jane.

Fingers crossed for you both xx

You can bring them into benchland JCJ....

 

Am at YD's with birthday boy 3 today hurrah.

Cake in she'd later xx

 

 

 

 

grumpy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Update on the Pink Walk proceeds - over £2000 now!!! That's just WONDERFUL!

Joey didn't win the Best Dog Fancy Dress prize as he rolled in the puddles and looked a proper hooligan...

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloooo grumpy! Were your ears burning? Jane and I were talking about the grumpy bench. 😛 We'll shove up and make room for you: Socially distanced, of course: it's a loooong bench. Sorry you are still struggling with fatigue. It must be a real pain; I remember the RT fatigue and how debilitating that was. Well done raising all that money for the hospice. 

Yep, Katy, 10 years! The first post (yours) on this thread was August 2011! I didn't join in until after dx in February 2012. You're right, we should have had a party! 13,668 replies!! We must watch out for it reaching 14,000 and party then. 😁

I found the Dark, dark woods by looking back at your posts, GIJ! I know I lurked in there - due to its overlap with Benchland: I think we shared a fireworks party? — but I don't think I posted because it didn't seem right as I avoided chemo. (Here, alligators! Have some guilt!)

Glad you got your meds sorted. Is there another chemist you could collect your prescription from? That's what I did when one chemist kept messing me around. The new one is a bit further away but so much more efficient.... and able to get a specific brand of one of OH's PD meds. I'd be furious if they asked me to wait TWO DAYS for something they proved they could sort out immediately.

BIL (late middle sister's widower) has sent me my Mum's academic gown, hood and mortar board along with a photo of her wearing them: presumably her graduation photo, although I know they used to have to wear them when teaching. There is also an enormous black silky shawl(?) with beautiful gold embroidery on it. I have a vague memory of seeing it before but have no idea what it is/where it is from. (Mum died when I was 21 😢) Apparently, I am now "family custodian" of these things!! BIL is clearly fed up of giving them house room, but I don't know where I'm going to put them!! I shall email EB and see what he thinks. 

grumpy
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good afternoon ladies

Small dog and I are in a grump today! I'm sick and fed up with this cancer fatigue, and there seems no progress with causes/research. It's been 3 years learning to manage it, and I STILL can't manage a decent walk with Joey.

Anyhow there was a charity walk here on Sunday, so Joey went with friends grandchildren and had a lovely time. I was informed that he had 4 wees and one poo -  too much information!! Then we had scones, and raised over £1000 for a local hospice, so it was a good do.

Onwards and upwards......

Grumpy

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I got through to the receptionist... and asked to see a particular dr.... had to explain why, natch.  He wasn't in until today, could I wait that long?  Yes....  but could I have an appointment. Only if he'd previously agreed to see me (he had). In any even telephone, and make an appointment if it was necessary.  He rang before I was expecting him to today (I was still in the woods with the dogs!).  I sat on a fallen tree to chat.  "How are you?" he asked.  I told him about the blood pressure, and that treatment wasn't working.  "Park the blood pressure for a moment, we'll come back to that.  How ARE you?".  So we had a chat about being OK/scared/angry.... he's given me additional meds for the BP and will phone me in a couple of weeks!!!!  I still have no idea what he looks like (and had got Excel to do a fancy graph of my BP to SHOW him) but, he is still a lovely man who cares.  Cant' beat that.

I did a funeral visit today, which took it out of me.  I felt sick when I came out... then I went to pick up the extra tablets and normal ones.  The chemist was their usual chaotic selves, and asked me to come back on Friday for my routine ones.  That's the very last day, and the pharmacist and I had agreed they would be available a few days earlier, so I said I was disappointed.  He then apologised and asked if I could come back Friday.. and I just filled up and said "I'm really not feeling very well".  Queue man running around like headless chicken at woman becoming emotional!!!!  I have my tablets....

Appt with respiratory clinic tomorrow to find out why the small (500ml) amount of fluid in my lung is bothering me!!! It's a pint, FFS!  Yes, but most people can walk about with that and not be bothered....

That'll be another fun morning!

On the plus side, I had a lovely lunch yesterday with a mad ex-colleague.  She was saying how they'd just been in France, and how safe they felt.  Every venue checked your covid passport and there were ~~~ ~~~ walking around the market (the café became noisy for that word).  It sounded like condoms.... so I queried it... No! Gendarmes!!!!!  We are both still giggling...

Thanks for the link to the Dark Dark Woods (I couldn't find it) I will revisit - it was such a laugh...

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

10 YEARS?????

Why didn't we have a party? Can hardly believe it.........

Glad you had fun with GD, lovely for you to see her personality shining through haha.

Hopefully you can get down before c, opening of the super special advent calendar is a fab idea.

Did you ever get through to docs Jane?? So incredibly annoying.

New jammies, take them back and acquire another new pair, woo hoo.

Pssst Poppy we have broomsticks here so you can continue flying.

 

Unexpectedly quiet here today, GD stayed with Mum so have been twiddling my thumbs.........

Cleaned my oven half heartedly today and threw out all of the trays, so went over to shop and bought a couple of new ones, so shiny.

It's been pouring here arrrgh, yuck xx

 

 

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Started reading OMG laughter and sadness.
I shall take a walk there with my bag of wine gums, (noticed Enid Blyton was mention)ed I still read and love her books...especially The Famous Five, memories of reading them as a kid under the bed covers with a torch (and torches were no light thing in them days)❤️

Poppy xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

We were posting at the same time, Poppy. You'll definitely enjoy the Dark Dark Woods as there are fairies there! 😁

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Sorry, my mistake: Dark Dark Wood not Wild Wild Wood, which is an entirely different fictional location!

After a bit of searching, I found them:

https://forum.breastcancernow.org/t5/Public-Archive/Standing-outside-the-dark-dark-woods/td-p/518904...

and then got distracted, reading the posts for half an hour before remembering I was in the middle of this one!! 

OH won't travel on Saturdays because he's created a huge psychological block to it from a combination of the mistaken idea that the roads are busier (we used to try to avoid Saturday travel, years ago, in August, because of Saturday change over days for most holidays) and the fact that, being a teacher, Saturdays were his only day off and he therefore still refuses to do anything taxing or stressful on that day. He's been retired FIFTEEN YEARS - and I do all the driving now. He even had a melt down going to YD's wedding and had to get a later train - I was worried he wouldn't come at all! Thank you. I definitely need the grumpy bench (not to be confused with grumpy - another Cumbrian Lady 😁) or even the MOHIAB bench.... May have to dust that one off as it hasn't been used in a while! 😂

I hope you're not still on the phone (being driven insane by the interruptions to the music that are just to say “your call is important“, but every time you think someone has finally answered?!) and can get to see the GP.

I'm not surprised your BP is all over the place. Scary times. xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you for letting me join - and please have NO worries I am bonkers.
I am 64 (a young 64) honest and have lived alone for 15 years - outside my cats, Thomas, Badger, Felly and Mr Pumpkin I write poetry do crafts, walk (my flying license was taken away from me)😂 I believe in fairies, so I think I would like to place a fairy bench for everyone to share so long as you believe in them (they are shy) and only show themselves to believers.
I like walking my beach and collecting shells and sea glass (the beach is my place to cast away my demons) my salvation.
I love animals (maybe more than people) hope that does not sound rude - but animals never judge you and never laugh at you for wearing silly hats.
I hope all goes to plan for you ladies so lovely to chat with fellow mad hatters😁

If you let me loose with the food there will not be much left for anyone else.

Lots of fairy hugs
Poppy xx

 

Dark Dark Woods is that on here looked but cannot find anything.

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

You are most welcome Poppy.  Please feel free to add any benches you need to - there's always room for more!  There's also a shed with delicious food some days, all left for you by us....  If you CAN find Dark Dark Woods, it was the single most helpful thing 10 years ago, if you happen to be bonkers.  Since you arrived wearing a flamingo hat, I suspect you might be!!!!

Regarding loyalty cards, I take em, then unsubscribe from the emails!

I'm off to the store famous for underwear to take one of the PJs back. Felt fluffy in the shop, nylon-y at home...Then I'm going out for lunch at my favourite tea room, so I'll put some goodies in the shed.....

There are already scones and clotted cream and jam in there.... defrosted some yesterday when a friend came round.

Thanks so much for putting the beach hut on casters so I can swing it round.  Brilliant!  It sounds like the chemo option now is much more do-able than what they used/use for primaries, which is good to know.  I have been leaping on and off the ***t scared bench.  Still waiting blood test results, and waiting to get through to a GP receptionist to see if I can get an appointment to actually see the GP.  My blood pressure is all over the place, and he did tell me he had put a note on my file that he wanted to see me, if I felt I wanted to see him.  We'll see... been listening to the music, and how important my call is to them for about 15 minutes now... (on the multi-tasking bench, clearly!)

So pleased daughters will be visiting at Christmas.  We're expecting our tribe too (Happy bench).  Why won't OH travel on a Saturday?  Too busy? I'll move up on the grumpy bench to make space....

I'm going up to London on Saturday to meet up with some other ladies with secondary breast cancer, so that should be interesting.  I'm the newbie.....  Hope it happens this time, last time too many pulled out...

I'm still waiting.... at least the view is good here!

 

 

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

That made me well up what a beautiful friendship you all must-have.
I keep in touch with the lady who had surgery on the same day as me -we got on so well.
We have since met up and keep in touch - there is a bond that only we two can understand, so I know where you are coming from.

Lovely ❤️

Poppy xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Poppy, I'm not quite sure I can explain Benchland! 🤔😝

It is a crazy mix of virtual and actual reality, started by KatyTC (aka Katy, aka KTC) 10 years ago. There used to be a lot more of us, all diagnosed (dx) around about the same time. The best way to experience Benchland in all its ridiculous glory, if you have a few spare hours....days?.....weeks? ...... is to read the thread from the beginning. There are 683 pages involving several thousand posts! We had some daft virtual adventures and made each other laugh almost daily. I know it certainly helped me to get through one of the scariest experiences of my life! 8 of us actually met up, in person, for a couple of days, travelling from locations all over the country and a few of us are still posting on here, still being silly, still friends 10 years on, still inventing benches to sit on to suit our current mood/needs. The most used benches are the CBA (can't be ar**d) bench which is near to the K (kn*****ed) bench; the FF (F***ing Furious - not to be confused with FF (FoxyFeret) who was another Benchlander....not seen for ages and greatly missed) bench and the one occasionally needed: the CSL (Crazy, Sobbing Lady) bench.

See also The Wild, Wild Wood which was another thread; just as bonkers, shared by those going through chemo at the time. There was some overlap between the 2 "worlds". 

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What a crazy immensely funny post brilliant xx

What is benchland? and do you have a beach hut - if so WOW!

I like mad posts - life should be full of it 🤣

 

Poppy xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hurrah for new Pjs, GIJ! I hope they are suitably fabulous.... but more importantly: wonderfully comfy. Bu**er about the chemo but, hopefully, it will be effective and less aggressive than the old treatment. Fingers crossed.

I have installed rollers under the nicest of the Benchland beach huts so that it can be South facing to catch the sun but spun around to watch the sunset..... over the sea, obviously. It is next to the shed so there are plenty of snacks available. 

What a lovely vet! I hope your small doggy problems are over. 

Yes, I'm watching Strictly. I love it. Always makes me feel good. I watched Saturday and Sunday's programmes, back to back, on catch up, last night - didn't want to inflict it on the girls 😁

Ironing, KTC???? Oh my goodness! 

WAKE UP! (sorry, just making sure you're not nodding off or you won't sleep tonight). 😁

The girls left yesterday (Sunday) after an early lunch. YD & DIL were both a bit frazzled but I managed to entertain GD for a couple of hours to give them a break/lie in... before they had to face the 5 hour journey home. GD is adorable. She is incredibly bright (but I would say that wouldn't I? 😛) and mostly very well behaved. She's very independent and strong willed though so there were moments...!!

It was very sad when they left but they are coming for Christmas (hurrah!) and we hope to go over there before then but that depends on YD's new job - starting mid-November - as she won't be able to book holiday days (and OH won't travel on a Saturday 😠) Perhaps we could go Friday to Sunday. Hmmmmm. Maybe at the start of December to see GD open the advent calendar. 😁

I've just been on the FF bench. OH asked me to order some more elasticated jogging trousers from a certain store (famous for underwear) because they're easier for him to manage. The same ones weren't available but I found something similar. When I went to check out it refused to let me do so without joining their reward card scheme - which I did not want to do! OK, so I get 10% off this order but I'll then be bombarded with "offers" trying to get me to buy things I don't need with money I haven't got!! If it hadn't been that particular shop, I would have cancelled the order and gone elsewhere but instead I spent an hour fighting the ****** thing; finally succumbing to the reward card. They asked for feedback. They got it!! I was incredibly restrained considering I was FF!!

We're swimming this afternoon so I must go and get lunch. 

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome Poppy to Benchland.

Flamingo hats and all..........

 

Aah Jane, hopefully you will be able to receive new treatment, asap. Beach huts of course they are here haha. Really pretty and full of magical things.

Hope you have had fun with your girls JCJ, are they still with you?

Quiet weekend hurrah, most energetic was small amount of ironing, yes I did it!

All cosy wrapped up in a throw yesterday just watching some tv, kept drifting off to sleep which meant ofcourse that it took hours for me actually fall asleep at bed time, that'll teach me grrrr.

Was on the FF bench there, energy company put up my direct debits with no notification whatsoever, WHAT??? Back to normal payments again and an apology regarding them just taking new amounts which is against their policy, mmmmmmmmmm. Just don't do it again haha.

Will now be able to get off the CBA bench, no will give myself a little while longer...............xx 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I don't seem to have had this thread on my notification email all week!  Flamingo hat!! Amazing!

Talking of Amazing,  Anyone else watch Strictly?

Brain a bit fried here.....had a scan Friday after coming back from busyland a day early.  Nurse texted Tuesday to say she'd asked the Dr to see me.  Appt Wednesday.   Seems my liver is marginally worse after just a month, so the treatment isn't working 😕   I now have to have chemo again.   Sounds like this is better than 10 years ago,  and my hair will only thin (there's not much of it from before anyway!)  I've had a blood test to make sure I'm safe to have the treatment (not everyone is) and when they get the result of that,  I can start.  Meanwhile I'm treatment free, and my body is rather enjoying that!!!!  Hence the fried brain. It's rocked me somewhat....

I decided all my PJs were old and bobbly so I treated myself to new ones yesterday.   Pouring here today but I'm comfy with two dogs on my lap to keep me warm. 

Small dog was still keeping us awake at night.  Went back to the vet with him for an eye check up, and said how he was, but we'd been told he couldn't live on medication and he needed a behaviourist.  Vet nodded. I just told him then that the dog was 11, and I had Stage 4 cancer.  He was lovely. Dog can have medication for as long as he lives,  cause we have enough to cope with. Yup!  It's such a relief,  and it's working!!

Time to hide in a beech hut I think? We do have beechhuts don't we???

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Waving and laughing 😂
I used to wear the craziest hats to chemo I was determined to stay jolly and silly. My fav was in the shape of a flamingo (yes big pink head) and dangling legs as the ties, the only problem being it was damn hot under there I cooked.

Lovely to chat to a fellow silly bug*r

Poppy xx

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Madly cleaning and toddler-proofing the place because the girls managed to get fuel and are on their way. Hurrah! It has made me realise what a slob I've become - and how much ****** clutter OH accumulates/scatters everywhere! 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Helloooo Cumbrian Lady! *waves*

Welcome to Benchland. We have a tradition of "quirky" (down right mad??) outfits here. It all helps to keep us amused...... and, most importantly: guilt-free. 😁

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I love the bag and the toilet roll earings - quirky is brill😂

 

Poppy xx

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Arrrgh a mouse??? Hopefully you have removed humanely far, far away, haha.

Don't mind them but would not want in the house EVER!!

Hope your girls manage this weekend.

Good you are getting things in order and you can just work away with no distractions.

 

Hair has been chopped successfully, am really pleased as Nov is a long way off.

Have been going to bed really early recently, is it because of new duvet?? no just been super tired.

It's starting to turn very cold here, brrrrrrrrr. Never get used to the cold.........

My busy time starts next week, it'll be fine, I hope haha. xx

 

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hmmm what can I froth to play with the new toy? I drink my coffee black and I'm not sure frothy milk works in tea? 😊

Are you still snuggled under your new duvet, Katy? Feather? There's posh!

Been into school again today. The library is much tidier now and I've sorted about 1/4 of the shelves; putting the books back in the right places. It's great to be useful..... and good to hear the teachers managing the behaviour of certain children and know I don't have to do that any more! 😁

We have been visited by the cutest little mouse. We've seen it outside, on the hedgehog camera trap, but, on Friday, OH saw it run across the living room floor! We set the humane trap and have so far caught it, and released it up the garden, 3 times..... or caught 3 different ones? We think it's coming through from the garage but OH thought he'd blocked the only access point and it got in again. Might have to take it a bit further away from the house!

YD messaged me today: both their cars are running on fumes and there's no fuel to be had anywhere in Norwich, apparently, so they may not be coming for the weekend after all. 😠

katytc
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you now have hang of frother Jane and are having a fab time, even though shelves are empty. Which of course means you can only eat out now haha.

Birthdays, here and at YD's so will be backwards and forwards all of Oct. Lido for pain, that's also Oct!

Is library now organised JCJ? are you enjoying being back?

An awful lot of doom and gloom just now............

Have an appt tomorrow to have hair chopped hairdresser is off for most of Oct therefore need to have a tidy up cause it would be a complete mess by Nov arrrgh.

Usually super organised regarding c but have loads still to buy arrrgh. Have purchased feather duvet have had old one for around a hundred years............so it was time...........so cosy hurrah xx

Had lunch out yesterday, lovely and then a little shopping afterwards, managed to miss all the rain hurrah.

 

JCJ
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm on the Is It Bedtime Yet?? Bench.... Otherwise known as the K bench, I suppose. It's been a busy week. I went into school on Monday afternoon - very weird having to sign in as a visitor, but they're going to give me my own code, apparently, so I won't need to. By the time I'd finished updating the library records to put all the children in their new classes (and discovered that I couldn't print them off), it was after 3:30pm and everybody had disappeared! I think they must have all gone to a staff meeting at the sister school. They never normally all b***** off that early! Very strange to be a visitor and virtually the only person on the premises! I'm going in again tomorrow to try and sort out the printing problem..... and tidy up: there are books all over the place!!

Tuesday afternoon we went to a local country park and I had a walk whilst OH sat on a bench.  We stopped for dinner in a pub on the way home. 

Yesterday, I picked a load of Bramley apples, wrapped some for storage - for us and some for the girls, prepped a load for the freezer and made an apple cake (some in shed obvs). Then it was supermarket shopping time. Negotiating the empty shelves and making adjustments to my list. Exhausting. 

Today I've been swimming followed by a sandwich and mugatea, from the deli, munched in the market Square, in the sunshine. CBA bench has had a firm hold of me all afternoon!

I've noticed that the only people wearing face masks now are people our age (40?! 😜) and older; no-one else seems to be bothering despite polite notices asking us to continue to do so. Grrrr. 

GIJaneH
Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I replied two days ago!  The gremlins ate it!!!

Southwold is in Suffolk and oh is complaining.  Too busy. Even T....s haven't got basic things on the shelves.  Too busy. Have to book meals out. Did I say it was too busy 🤔 🤣

From my perspective,  the beach is at the end of the road. I booked the first 3 days before we left.  We can walk into the centre. The house is free, and it's been perfect to share with D that needed space. 3 floors.  She's gone now,  so it's just us and the dogs...  wall to wall sunshine forecast today,  so it'll be busy!!!!!

Oh bought me a milk frother for my birthday so I keep practising flat whites.  Not cracked it yet.  I'll leave it in the shed - let me know how you get on!!

Super pleased the bathroom is so good.   What happens in October?  What's the lido - I missed that one,  doesn't sound good..

Hope you're having sunshine too 💛