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stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Scan went OK, thankfully. Not as noisy as the last one, and diazepam made me super relaxed (no, not TENA lady relaxed........). Had to be given strong coffee by nurse, and told to have a sit down before driving home! Don't know when I'll get the results.

Then took dogs for walk on the beach and ate my packed lunch on a bench - lovely.

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

You ladies are such a tonic 😉.   Invisible ink 😂

 

I quite fancy the bridesmaids arriving on a float or extra large chariot, carnival style, so everyone gets an eyeful of our awesome outfits and general all round fabulousness 😀. 

 

KTC, I also used a (non-specified!) search engine and the top results were all from this forum, at least one per year re bruising whilst on the Tapoxystuff.  Sometimes drugs manufacturers change their formulation to make cost savings, so even though your brand hasn't changed the ingredients may have....worth checking ? 

Tat xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope your scan going OK, Grumpy. MRI scans are a bit nerve wracking and very noisy but at least they're not at all painful. Hope you have speedy non-scary results!

 

By the way with reference to the new fleeces (wearing one now. Snuggly) they are from T*******. Think of The Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us those who T******* against us"!!

 

Would it be very uncharitable of me to make sure I have Dink and FS has Hump? FOTBs (potentially 3 of them, as FS remarried) can arrive on the Chariots. Smiley Happy

 

Welcome Suzy! Don't be shy!! Or were you using that invisible ink? Smiley Happy

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

No, no brand change, have numerous small bruises as well..............first huge one was around 6" long by 4", 2nd one around 4" by 2 and now this one 4" by 5" , hope I'm doing inches and not feet hahaha!

Googled first and head went into a spin, but thankfully tests all good so what is it???

Another thing first two are almost gone now which is superly quick, will check regarding ta"poxy"fen at docs, thank you JCJ xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

 
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Katy, have you acquired the Benchland Bridesmaids mode of transport?! Smiley Happy It's shaping up well: MOTBs both arrive on camels (other one, I'll call her FS, has also had BC, 5 years before me!), Brides arrive in Kayaks and the BMs in the Orange Arrows It'll be A.maze.ing!!

 

Your bruising could well be a Ta'poxy'fen SE! I just googled it (I know, I know) and up popped lots of links on various cancer sites, including a thread on our own dear BCC!

 

https://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Hormone-therapy/Tamoxifen-and-Bruising/td-p/854775

 

If you've had the blood tests and there's nothing else amiss (TFFT!!) then it could just be the Ta'poxy'fen. Have you changed brands recently?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Good luck today grumpy, hopefully you will find out soon what's causing issues. Sometimes arthur in the neck area or top of spine can give you bad headaches and dizziness.

Blood tests back and all fine, whew, last night another monster bruise appeared, any ideas most welcome, will have to go back to docs.........

images (2).jpg What about this??? Wedding gift that will look fabulous in any room, a real talking point xx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Norcambe Nuptials perhaps?????

MRI scan tomorrow  to find out what's wrong with my ears - diazepam in handbag to take at hospital if I feel all jittery.

Tat, do get as much info as possible, and don't be pushed into a decision before you're ready, a few more days won't make a difference. Big hugs for now.

Grumpy

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tat sending hugs xx
Jan x
Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Tat, the words "rock" and "hard place" occurred to me after reading your post.  Hugs from me too.  Have placed a hangover cure beside your bench.  Guaranteed to work within minutes!  Hopefully you will will get more info/better news on Monday.

 

I think we all ought to wear the orange cakes on our heads.  Yes, they'll look lovely and will be on hand, I mean head, if supplies of cake get low.

 

Setting up a wedding organising business is an inspired idea, we'll make a fortune.  What shall we call ourselves?  Weddings 'R Us?  Benchland Brides?  Morecambe Marriages? Camels Cause Carnage?

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I have heard of people having 25 rads and 15, but not 33. Perhaps you are having a gentler dose to reduce the risk of sarcoma, so you need more doses?? Just a thought.

 

Make a list of all your questions/concerns and go armed with them on Monday. Don't be pushed into treatment you are not happy (totally wrong word to choose, but "comfortable" not much better??) with. Remember, it's YOUR body! 

 

Has Chemo been mentioned? (Forgive me if you've already told us you've had it/can't have it - I'm too Friday-night-after-first-week-back-at-school tired to hunt back through the posts to check!)

 

Have a look at some of the rads threads. I found it really helpful to talk to ladies going through it at the same time. "Starting rads in February" sort of thing! More hugs.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thanks, ladies, hugs gratefully received.  Have you ever heard of anyone receiving 33 rads?  I'm sure it must happen, but I was a tad surprised and a lot dismayed.  It could be mid March before I'm cooked!

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaah tat, maybe your seroma man/woman will have different options for you, big hugs flying your way xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Oh that's a really sh***y "choice" T4T. Piling up tissues, cake, and hugs for you by your new bench.

 

Hugs xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, smant (BENCHLAND)

*Tat appears, stage left, carrying an 'Angiosarcoma Sucks' bench, a picture of the consultant who failed to biopsy the lump, a large pot of (poisoned) darts to chuck at said consultant's face and a huuuuuge bucket of G&T*

 

Poor onc (lovely lady) had the job of explaining the two options agreed by the MDT to deal with the teensy margin on part of my tumour.  I could choose 'extensive' surgery to remove ribs, and the subsequent ribcage reconstruction, scarring, physio, recovery time, etc.  She could tell she wasn't selling that to me as a first option, so the next offer was 33 rads.  33!! That's SIX AND A HALF WEEKS of rads!

 

We get to sleep (haha!) on that for the weekend before seeing the sarcoma consultant on Monday morning where we may, or may not (back to the rare cancer thing again), get more hard data on risks vs benefits of rads for a cancer that can be caused by rads.  Aaaaargh!

 

And I was on the money re the turf war between breasts and sarcomas over who leads my care!  The nurse was very diplomatic in everything she said, but her face gave it away in the seconds before her mouth started working Smiley Wink 

 

If anyone needs me I'll be on the Dribbling Drunk bench for the forseeable future Smiley Wink

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad to be of service T4T. Hope your onc appointment went OK. Yes, explaining Benchland (and its associated shouts of laughter) is always a tricky thing! One usually gets blank stares at best, ranging through "yes dear"s, hastily changing the subject right up to phoning for medical assistance! Smiley Happy Definitely a " you had to be there" type of humour?!

 

This has been an extraordinarily long week. I am so glad it's Friday evening at last. Looking forward to be trip to the chippy. (And pretending my jeans aren't too tight!!)

Community Champion

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Yep def agree soft wool please, everything is looking fabulous JCJ, think your daughter must be over the moon!!!

A kayak would also be fantastic, what an arrival!!

Am thinking I will wear the orange cake on my head, matches outfit, love the big cake but may be a bit heavy.........soooooooooo if we run out of cake.............it's there, yum yum.

Am off out to lunch today, our late Xmas get together, no turkey in sight.

All the best for your appt tat, fingers crossed xx

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Saw the latest suggestions and snorted with laughter.  Impossible to even begin to explain to the OH why 😉 A good laugh is just what I need today - seeing Onc this afternoon and a few visits to the terrified bench already this morning...

 

I really think we're on to a business idea here ladies; we're naturals at wedding planning and with all your prior experience of big events we have it sewn (or knitted) up 😀

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Cakes are absolutely fantastic, we must have all of them and I'm sure we can find some more just in case we run short!

 

Yes please, JCJ.  I MUST have that underwear. Please knit it in a very soft wool though as anything scratchy will result in all bridesmaids squirming horribly during the service and that just won't do!  And I've got no idea where the fleeces are from either, you're just being too cryptic Smiley Happy 

 

T4T, so know what you mean about dignity, took me quite a while before I could walk into a room full of strangers and not immediately feel the need to strip to the waist!  

 

Welcome Jan, glad we entertained you.  Just joined us and already you have a starring role as a bridesmaid, that can't be bad!  No, I think purple knitted pants,orange lace and green knitted scalloped edges Smiley Happy

 

Glad your snotty nose is better Katy and hope the new sleeve will help Lynn go away, preferably for good.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

JCJ I 'm thinking green knitted pants, orange lace and purple scalloped crochet edges! ?
I think I could probably manage to make those for all the bridesmaids but think MOB will need something a little more dignified as I'm sure all will be revealed post reception tipples, or perhaps during the dancing.💃 Now that would be entertainment 😃
I wonder if I could offer my kayak to transport the bride?
Jan
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

d4b05059de41bfd4ba795f6cb60d7c92.jpgil_214x170.535960974_9z05.jpg

OMG we are going to look soooo fantastic!! YD will be thrilled!! Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

knitted-lace-up-back-panties1.jpg

Hahahaha! I love the internet. Look what I found: Shall I knit us all some of these? One size fits all (or nobody) as they are laced up!! 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ha ha!  I like your daughter, JCJ Smiley Wink  And I like the Benchland cake rule too!!

 

And cakes on our heads is a no-brainer.  I found this for you KTC, obviously we'll have to tweak the colour to coordinate with our fabulous dresses.... or is this actually a dress?

 

Welcome aboard, Jan Smiley Happy  Hope you read the first few pages of Benchland and Norberte's description.  It's how I knew I was in the right place!

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Love, love love the pizza cake T4T!! But I'm not sure there are any of "those who don't like cake" in Benchland!!? As afternoon tea at The Madlands has demonstrated......3 times!! Smiley Happy

 

I sent YD the pizza cake picture and she said "but what would the guests eat?" So much of a hit that the brides would scoff it all! 

 

Current wedding plans include a pub, a chippy van and a hog roast. Sounds good to me! Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

hahaha love the cakes tat, perhaps we could wear them on our head???? That would be a statement indeed!!

Now JCJ, have no idea where the fleeces are from? Am obviously hopeless.................glad you like them xx

 

 

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

...and for those who don't like cake...

 

I'm really on a roll now.  I'm going to keep all these ideas for my kids' nuptials Smiley Wink

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Or this one?

Member

Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I love a cake. Perhaps we should have more than one?

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Is that the cake, FF, or the head attire? Smiley Tongue

 

Will it be chocolate inside? Or fruit? Or maybe one of each? Non-fattening, of course, because it's benchland!

 

Definitely getting lighter in the evenings. Home from work only slightly earlier than usual and my first job isn't drawing the curtains! Yay! It was trying on 3 fleeces bought online from a company whose name sounds like they shouldn't be where they are: 1 purple hoodie, 1'ink'  microfleece and 1 heavier weight 'top layer' fleece all a size smaller than current fleeces which are too big on me. So I am fully prepared for the dance of the 40 fleeces at the wedding!! Smiley Happy New fleeces feel rather snug. Different brand from usual as size 18 is XXL in T******* (really??) and they don't do anything bigger, so I've not been able to buy from them before. Perhaps it's the extra Christmas weight. They stretch though, so it'll be fine.

 

However, it is still horribly dark in the mornings. Sooooo hard to get up and go to work in the dark! Smiley Sad

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

what do you think girls??? How superly, fabulously gorgeous xx

download.jpg

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome Kayak, you joined just in time to be a bridesmaid woo hoo!!!

Thinking purple knitted knickers will be perfect, can you knit those too JCJ??? To make it easier just do one size, large..............can be pulled in for thinner ladies with flat tums, knicker elastic that's the job, just pull tight!!!

Am also loving the gloves, we can change head attire am thinking bigger feathers??

Yes grumpy there will be cake, are we doing cake?

 

Was up at Lynn place yesterday, hand and forearm looking good but upper arm distinctly bigger, boo hoo, new sleeves to be ordered, feel lovely and soft so we'll see.

Also snotty nose is calming down, thank goodness!!!

Still lots of rain here..........

Great news tat about your notes, lovely when someone listens xx

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Will there be wedding cake?????

Otherwise Meg will decline her (virtual) invitation..........

Grumpy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Dignity?  What's that?  Half of the medics in my area have seen me stripped, so I have no recent experience of dignity. My family and I have been coming up with (mostly unprintable) suggestions for my new skill of being able to have a perfectly sensible conversation with strangers whilst naked from the waist up and often while they are 'hands on', if you get my meaning Smiley Wink  

 

I'm counting on these bridesmaids outfits to restore my dignity and I am convinced the PVC dresses will look perfect with big, knitted knickers, preferably in a contrasting colour.  Or a rainbow of colours.  Discreet, classy...what more could a bride want?

 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Ok, professional advice as requested. Orange and purple, a classy and popular combination ever since four weddings and a funeral (love that film) because of its ecclesiastical connotations. Apparently. The green wet look frock is of course bang on trend, what with the rain and the floods. My professional advice would be - knickers. Large and all encompassing, when disembarking from Dink (DO NOT USE HUMP!! Unreliable, easily distracted, eats feathers) one does not want to display one's nethers , does one? One needs to preserve one's dignity. Smiley HappySmiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Welcome to Benchland Funny Farm, Kayak. I'm glad we've kept you entertained. It's wonderful to see a new 'generation' of women (and men??) being helped through the sh***y times by our antics. Smiley Very Happy

 

I'm circling the Jittery bench at the moment. Just realised that my (4th) annual check up with surgeon is a week on Monday. Oooh er! That came around quick! I am determined not to get myself worked up about it (Yeah, right?) After all, this time last year I was undergoing tests for liver mets?!!

 

Of course, we should consult Ali about the wedding attire (as well as the camels) because she is a professional. I was forgetting that!! Smiley Happy

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hi ladies
Just decided to join your benches. You have kept me entertained on many an early hours crying jag.
I have one burning question before I consider becoming a member of the bridesmaid contingent. What head gear are we proposing to wear? I'm favouring feathers with definite hints of purple. Oops just realised that Katy may have it covered, still want purple though.
I will await your replies whilst sitting here on the TGFH bench (thank goodness for humour).
Jan x
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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Phew........ I don't need to knit orange knee highs.  Thanks JCJ.  I was regretting my rash offer, might have had one glitterberry juice too many there Smiley Happy Oh yes, elbow highs will be fabulous and really finish off the outfit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad they came good for you, T4T, some people really understand that the waiting is the worst part!

 

I'll knit the orange knee highs, and how about matching elbow highs? (gloves. Not elbow high tights - they'd just be 'tights'?! Smiley Tongue)

 

Katy, I seem to have lost the 'L' from my (as you called it,) flat stomach. Either due to no longer being on that ridiculous fatless diet, or due to Festive overeating. Aha! So we have discovered the reason why 'Noel,' is sung at Christmas??! Smiley Very Happy. I hope it's the latter so that eating normally will stop the blob. I've kept my old clothes just in case, but it'll be nice not to need to wear them!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

What a shame that these days we expect hospitals to hide behind policy and how heartwarming it is to hear that someone has shown a compassionate side to them. Perhaps someone in medical records has been there? It's so good that you will have info before your appt T4T.

 

I can knit orange knee highs if necessary, if MOTB will be too busy. Hers would be perfect, mine might have a few dropped stitches ( and that's where I came into Benchland, with dropped stitches!Smiley Happy look back if you have the time/inclination/lost the will to live).

 

I hope you are feeling better today Katy.  Daughter?  Well, it's difficult to say, she's much better than she was, most of the time no-one would realise anything was wrong.  She's coping and is now on a waiting list for further therapy, hope it's not too long!

 

Lovely day here today, sunny and bright.  A nice change from all the rain of the last few days.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm sitting on the warm and fuzzy bench tonight, ladies.  No, not a gin induced state, but a general 'aren't people lovely' kind of state.

 

Yesterday, I snivelled down the phone to the medical records department when they told me it would be at least a fortnight before I would get a copy of the pathology report from my op.  I really wanted to have it and read it before seeing my sarcoma consultant on Monday, but the Christmas hols scuppered that and I burst into tears!  I've been a bit wobbly now everyone is back at work/college/etc and hospital appointments are starting again....real life is a bit scary after all the distractions of the Christmas period.

 

Anyway, this afternoon a lovely lady from the medical records department called to say they had expedited the collection and copying of my notes and would be sending them via Special Delivery!  It was so unexpected; they could easily have hidden behind the bureaucracy of the trust's policies and procedures, but someone bothered to set that aside and show compassion.  Needless to say, I cried again, but this time they were good tears Smiley Happy  Just written a thank you card to the department as I didn't make a note of names.

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Future D-I-L's favourite colour is green, so they'll be perfect for the bridesmaids dresses! She'll be (virtually) thrilled!

 

I was watching Don't Tell The Bride last night - well just the end of it, as it was on when I turned the tele on. I found myself thinking of our plans and how much better they were. Smiley Tongue

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

If you love it FF, and everyone else agrees it will be our official Bridesmaid Dress, I know it's gorgeous.........the search is now on for orange knee highs, if we can't find any perhaps MOTB could knit them for us!!

Brings a tear to my eye everytime I think of MOTB dismounting from Hump or Dink, truly breathtaking and spectacular, Norcambe will never be the same again!

 

Doing the usual here pouring with rain...............sooooooooooooo fed up of getting wetSmiley Sad!

How's your daughter doing now FF?? xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Back to work today.  No children, just the teachers to clean up after and for once they hadn't made too much mess. So not too bad.  Hopefully there will be no more glitter for a while which will give me a chance to get rid of what is still left, which is quite a lot.....it just gets stuck in the carpet fibres!

 

Went to daughter's after work for dinner, a touch of leftovers 'r us but delicious.  SIL wanted my advice about a knotty problem he is trying to resolve and seems to think I'm some sort of oracle and have all the answers.

When I was younger I always ran things past an older member of the family to get their opinion and help but now I find that I AM that older member of the family.......

 

Katy - was that outfit just for you or is it for all us bridesmaids?  I love it!

 

 

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Aaah JCJ, back to reality tomorrow then???

Just enjoy the "CBA" bench while you can!

tat did you enjoy your break?

 

Still on the "snotty" bench, truly it's the worst cold since I was about 12..............nose itchy, pouring, coughing and ribs aching, would join you on the "CBA" bench but don't want to pass it aroundSmiley Sad!

Phoned and manage to arrange patient transport for my lido's am well pleased cause sometimes feel a bit dizzy and have a bit of nausea so it's door to door, woo hoo xx

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Glad it was OK, apart from having to get up before 11 Smiley Wink  I've never had a January where I haven't been returning to work as well - feels very strange!  It'll just be me and the dawg soon when OH goes back to work and son to uni.  Some time in this century I'm having rads too, so then it'll just be the dawg... she's bound to gnaw on the benches and eat the snacks people have kindly left out Smiley Wink

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Thank you T4T, I survived. No children in today, so that makes it easier. Getting up at 7 was nearly a killer though!!

 

Back "properly" tomorrow: kids and all, so I'm firmly on the CBA bench tonight!!

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Hope you survived the day, JCJ, are home and have some time to make use of the CBA bench x

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Bleurgh! I'm up. I'm dressed. And it's nowhere near 11am - (the earliest I have achieved both the aforementioned in the last 2 weeks!) It's still so DARK!! Smiley Sad

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

I'm back from deepest, darkest Dorset where t'internet is harder to find than sunshine.  Been catching up and loving the way the wedding mood board is progressing.  Your daughter must be thrilled, JCJ Smiley Happy

 

Christmas decs all down here too and a houseful of people who don't want real life to start again tomorrow.... can I join you on the G&T bench?

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Re: stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND)

Just taken down the Christmas tree & decs. Trying not to cry. Back to work tomorrow. Soooo not ready. Then I saw your outfit, KTC, and laughed out loud. Thank you! I love Benchland - always a tonic! (Ooh! G&T anyone??) Smiley Very Happy